Signs He Wants To Date You, Not Just Hook Up With Youyou can attempt to dream up how you want it to be, but in reality, you know. i have not chased him or contacted him at all. now, we’re talking even more often, like we’re up all night. if he is still attracted to you, he may initiate a conversation about your past. he came round about 9pm ish, we chatted, got fruity chatted more got very fruity & had mindblowingly good sex a number of times. we’ve had sex three times and i have a hard time reading his personailty. the first month was amazing, but it was clear he was pushing himself to make extra time/stealing time to get to know me. i think it’s probably perfect, because i can continue to date (and so can he) to find the right one. we hang out at the same bar and obviously see each other when we are outside at our houses. i would definitely not let him come visit unless you reach that agreement. can you please give me your take on it, because despite that i am tryign to convince myself that it is all nothing and stick to the initial outcomes of our conversations, i can’t help feeling confused as i think his actions often betray his words. (if he broke your heart, that’s a different story. or if you’d like to start slow, just tell him how much you like him, or that you love dating him.. just about a month and a half ago my now ex boyfriend of 4 years left me for someone else. tell him you would appreciate his honesty and that you don’t want anyone toying with your feelings. i like you a lot and you are a good girl but i just can’t be in a relationship rightnow”. some men will go through all the motions of a relationship because it’s enjoyable, but then state that there is no formal commitment. there’s this guy who lives in my building whom i had seen around at the beginning the school year & we’d talk and stuff but we never really introduced ourselves till halloween night., i’ll say again – it is way too early for you to be feeling anxious. he is affectionate- kisses me hello, holds my hand, calls me hun and baby..he values his “guy time” and i think he doesnt want to be tied down but i wonder why this is still going on with us or what im supposed to think. he’s wanted more from the start, and now you’re starting to have feelings for him. to be perfectly honest, part of my obsession with him is probably my thing for game-playing and drama; several of my friends whom i discuss with (and have only seen pictures) say “you are way to good-looking for him”, “he needs to make you his girlfriend”. is tough, because it’s a weird mix of not knowing what the other person is thinking, even though it’s someone you’ve known well. if you don’t, then it sounds like the relationship would probably end.’ve been trying to let this go and i found your website and decided to just get it out one time in hopes of finally having some clarity!” and when i answer “you just want me to miss you and like you, which doesn’t mean i do” he would say “yes”. doubt it’s true that he had never thought about it when you asked him, but obviously didn’t want to get into a heavy conversation about it at that time, particularly if he was unsure of your feelings. did talk about been exclusive with each other, he told me he wasn’t seeing or talking to anyone else and that yes we are exclusive.’s hard to know what is going on in his mind. until he knows where he wants this to go, i think that is very, very risky for you. even in front of his friends hell show affection by holding me or even kissing me and then other days he won’t do anything. delete his number, defriend him, block him on im, etc. i had started to develop feelings for him too so i told him and all seemed well.. he will ask if he can show up with take-out and wine just so he can eat dinner with you. said no it was business what an earth was he talking about and we both laughed. so about a month and a half ago i met this kid at work who is honestly my perfect match. he even dried my hair for me after and dressed me after. i don’t want to scared him off…thanks again! we actually dated a while back, but too long ago for there to be remaining feelings. i broke up with him because we were spending too much time together, ignoring our friends, never leaving the house, etc. he flirted and acted nicely every time he saw me. old adage “men are dogs” is lame and boring because it’s 2017 and everyone knows men can be terrible. we don’t usually do back-to-back get togethers so it threw me for a loop but sure.” if that is the case, you need to get out now before he gets more emotionally invested. and after 2 days, he texted me again last night and was flirting a little bit and i made it clear to him that i “used to” like his dirty talk and he got the point when he said ” well, i don’t think you do now that’s why i said ‘used to’. don’t get me wrong we talk about everything and anything, he does tell me things like he had a lot of love for me and cares about me, i just got sick and he was calling and texting every five mins. i’m still a little confused by it all and unsure about it but we’ll see what the future holds. hes extremely affectionate with me, and my roomates think hes very into me. i just rescently went through a divorce and i told him that i didn’t want any kind of relationship yet cause i’m not emotionally ready. i know that he knows the power he has over me because he’ll stop communicating with me for a period of time and then when i finally feel like im moving on he’ll pop up with this i want u to be close again and i see me marrying you in the future i just want you to fall on your head a few times. he toned himself down to make sure it wasn’t too much for me and didn’t put me last.– asked me to sleep with my head on his chest, made sure i was comfortable and was staring at me on his chest sleeping (i woke up suddenly to make sure my big head didn’t make his arm fall asleep and he couldn’t close his eyes fast enough! it should be clear pretty soon whether he’s interested, and in what. well now its my second year in college and we reconnected over the summer and have been texting and flirting. i didn't feel guilty about it, i actually felt kind of relieved. long-distance relationships are very difficult, and many people don’t want to do that.(an aside: i’m starting to react with rank insult at people, usually women, who ask me why i’m not thinking about marrying my lady friend. he ended up cooking my fajitas and made me a homemade cake which he pointed out he had never done before for anyone. the past month and after getting over that huge hurdle, it seems like he is starting to slowly come around. we are both from latino backgrounds so maybe its a cultural thing.’d take this as good news as it’s very beta; a roissy-esque player wouldn’t apologize for not calling. he gets drunk and tells me that he can’t be with me and then apologises the next morning profusely begging that he hopes he hasn’t ruined his chances with me. can’t tell if this is too soon after my ex-boyfriend to be seeing someone new, and i can’t tell what our mutual friend wants to do about us. but he only replied a “it’s okay :)” to it. he said that he was there to make sure it was good for me so he kept delaying his own and asking what i wanted.” and i responded stupidly because i guess i didn’t understand what he was saying so i responded with the city that i met up with him and he said the city and connected it with a country that had the same city that we were in. i don’t want him to one day just move on to someone else. because it sounds like you’re in one and you just don’t want to say it. if you want to know the answer, you’re going to have to ask the question. just text me “i can’t wait to hold you”……. over a year has gone by and he finally sends me an email, but he didn’t say anything, just sent me a link he wanted me to see about his experiences there. and i said, i don’t want you to but i you should go because that’s what your heart wants and you don’t want to live a life full of regrets. there is nothing good that can come of this “friendship. this guy doesn’t talk to me all day long like we used to and i just feel like he doesn’t go out of his way for me ever. he made it clear that he still was just not ready. this went on for another day and then things returned to ‘normal’. i laugh because although he would be the most perfect partner to have it’s seriously a no go. my guy refers to it as ‘university dating’ (which is scary in itself, because that means he thinks that’s what we are doing as well) me and my guy were discussing it and he said “if he liked her hed let her know it, he would man up and ask her out before he lost her” and i said “but then again who would want to date their fuck buddy” and he says “you wouldn’t? almost every guy i know or have ever known will do this. we’ve met on another birthday the following week and he seemed really ‘friendly’ (even flirty, i guess). “boyfriend” would like to know what you mean by “fake bf”…btw he loved the chart! but a guy who just enjoys being intimate with you will do them too. he called and told me to meet back at his house for my birthday dinner. he’s definitely not playing you – he’s not doing anything! it states on his profile that he is looking for a long-term relationship. the first night that we hung out, i implied that i wanted something with no strings attached. i was wondering if there’s anything i need to be concerned about in my current situation or just enjoy things as they are. i said if things flow in a certain direction and it feels right and worthy, my life is flexible… hi smiled wide. i don’t think he was saying that just to get me away. so i broke off the friendship and never talked to him again. listen, i agree that you are getting super mixed messages.’m going to make a post about this – look for it later today. if this is a case of arrested development, you’d be better off ending it. we went to three different bars, my place, went out to a restaurant for late night food, and then she spent the night. we work for the same government agency but in different areas. we always chatted about those things in private, in person, and we were in public when we saw eachother. i do not want to start a conversation about us again, because i see no point. he came over to me the next night after that happened and it looked so bad. however, the bottom line is that it doesn’t do you any good if he is determined to remain unattached.’m keeping my cool, i’m scared to tell him how i fee this early because i don’t want to lose him. he holds me as if he really cares about me. how can i get it to lead in that direction with out coming off too clingy? he has introduced me to every friend, and took me out to several dinners. looks like i’m finally the one getting it back. i have been in a 3 year relationship that was amazing, but then i came for an exchange program in a different country. he was kissing my nose and forehead during the whole conversation and holding my hands. i emailed him the next day apologizing and don’t know how i took it that way and asked him what he meant by “where are we? now you probably know what your old fwb was thinking. a little push/pull to keep her on her toes is a good idea in the beginning. is a new sense of freedom in my life and i am truly thrilled! we started hanging out a lot this summer and he seemed as if he liked me. my partial problem is, i feel like most of the time, it has been me initiating a hangout session. also he randomly texts me tue day after he broke his arm to hang out and have dinner. i wish i would have had this blog to consult 10 years ago. it sounds like you are getting a lot of mixed signals from this guy. he always holds my hand, hugs or kisses me in public or when alone and sends the occasional text message asking how is my day going. you should be able to get a read on what he’s thinking by his responses. forgot to say that when was out on a walk a woman went by he commented about her cheast i said was ah right he was like it is an guy thing did your ex not say stuff about other woman i said no he did not he said probably was too scared to and made privite joke we had about my ex that he started i lauthed abit never mentioned any woman again but none went by really then we walked on also he hardly looks at me or holds my hand unless i hold his first. it sounds like you are falling for him, so you need to know asap if he feels the same way. he recently graduated from our college but plans to stick around for the upcoming semester looking for a job and what not. we had been writing back and forth for about 7 months.’m feeling embarrassed, a bit naive, and finally feeling what it feels like to be on the wrong end of dating. just a couple days ago our “relationship” became more sexual … i am wondering if this is a sign that i could mean more to him, since i said before i didn’t want a sexual relationship unless it meant more to him. but after that night i told him, he seemed even more into me. about a week ago he left my place in the morning (and at thus time we hadn’t slept together yet) he texted me asking how i feel about him and if i’m falling for him.’m puzzled by his saying he didn’t regret what happened but “it wasn’t the way he had wanted to do things. he would take me to movie, go out to play pool with me, introduce me to his dad when i came over, be willing to cook for me (because i cooked for him and i guess he wanted to return the favor), and ask me to stay the night with him. we text each other every day, and call every other day. a guy really wants to be in a relationship with you, he’ll do these things, yes. i also have a sinking feeling that i am going to fall flat on my face with this one…yet i can’t help myself, this is new and exciting and i feel like i have to see where it goes even if i don’t like the outcome…any thoughts you might have on my situation would be immensely helpful! like him alot, i’d love to have a commited relatioship with him and see where it went, he makes me laugh, when we talk on the phone i have an amazing grin on my face, he compliments me, says i look amazing, he can’t keep his hands off me, thinks about me all the time, up until sunday, used to text call all the time. since i was so sick the first 2 months of being pregnant and throwing up non stop and because we both knew we werent ready for a baby we made the decision to not keep it which was really tough. we both put our kids first, i’ve blown him out on a few nights cos of kids, other plans etc and we have just worked round it so what now. then… we ended up leaning on his car, then… we were in the car and the inevitable happened. american men often confuse the heck out of me, but i can't see myself taking intercontinental flights just so i have a lovely relationship with a suitable man. we had a great weekend together this last weekend and it seems we both want it to be more than it has been so we will see what happens.” the same guy i mentioned above (you know, the one who felt physical pain when i spoke) couldn’t remember anything i told him, including my birthday. i bought a ticket but i'm still so confused, my mind's been going crazy thinking about this whole situation. 1 week later we met at a show again, i was pretending not to be very interested, he was very interested, then again a few days later at something else, again i was pretending and he was wandering around me, i left early, about which he was very surprised, and next day in the morning he texted me saying it was great to see you, etc etc have a nice day, i replied with a very casual text. cringed when i read this because it seems crystal clear to me that if, after 3 yrs, your only clues about how he feels relate to his sexual repertoire, then he’s only in it for the sex., i am in college and its my second year here different program this time. what this means for you is that the demand comes first (which hasn’t happened with your man), then he goes looking for the supply. this comment box is not long enough for me to explain everything that went wrong in my marriage, and everything that i put up with to make sure that our kids his and mine got off to college. i told him and he was extremely supportive and wanted to talk about things a lot in person on the phone, or one night i was out to dinner with friends and didnt feel good and i called him to come get me and he dropped what he was doing to come pick me up and i stayed the night there…or he would ask how i was feeling and would rub my back when i didnt feel good…he was really there for me. you have absolutely nothing to gain by caving in and doing it his way. i walked by and he tried stopping me and asking if i was mad. i just worry sometimes, but i know most of his friends’ aren’t the type of guys. then in the morning she left and went off and i texted with her the next day. we have become incredibly close, he’s introduced me to his best friends and i have introduced him to my best friends (my roomates, and he has become extremely close to them in particular), we spend most of our time around each other, preferring to study with each other and hang out with each other.– you might have to figure out what you want first before asking him to do anything. five months is a long time to feel insecure about a relationship. we have both said we don’t want a heavy relationship, he says he can’t stay over cos then feelings will develop? he has a large number of sexual partners in his past and i only a few. i'm not sure of your age here – i'm guessing still in high school. little things such as taking time to get to know my friends and such prove this. him: i can’t tell how well his behavior correlates to his actions. is never a way to get a man to fall for you. susan,you seem to be giving good advice, so here i am with my questions. often he would say things like “you like me, or you miss me. his body language was the same as when we initially began, very zoned in and focused on me, he’d brought up things that reminded him of me, and repetedly showed that he cared and approved of the little things he somehow knew i’ve been up to recently. it’s none of their damn business and it bothers me they suggest i “owe” it to her or something. i figured if he was upset, at least it showed that he cares still. hope he gets the proper help and a sincere look within himself)i am learning that there is some …. we women tend to attach great importance to affectionate gestures and spending time together as indicative of emotional investment because that’s the way we operate. but as soon as we came back, he texted me and asked me to go star-gazing. and he hides his feelings well, so instead of just waiting to talk to him in person i spoke before i thought and sent him an email telling him that i just didn’t want to just hook up everytime i saw him, i wanted to know what was on his mind. he still tried to hang out with me again and trying to figure out a day. it’s one thing to have hookup one night and then be like, oh. relationships that start out with a cheating incident often don’t last, for obvious reasons. for leaving a comment, i appreciate your taking the time to visit several of my posts! serious relationships can and do start with hooking up, if both parties were open to a relationship from the start. he also is recently divorced, father of two, he raises his children also, and his ex has them on the same weekends as my ex. i felt a connection but that could just be [email protected] this case i have to follow my head and not my heart, i don’t speak to him or see him as much as i used, probably once every 2-4 weeks there has been times where i haven’t spoken to him for months and ever since i’ve distanced myself he has started to open up, when i do see him he keeps me there won’t let me leave sometimes i’m there for a couple of days. say that you are confused and you want to know where things stand. he was very into kissing me, using eye contact, and making sure i was feeling good, and asking me questions. but why do i feel im falling into the fbf catergory? he holds my hands during it, kisses me on the forehead, strokes me plays with my hair etc…. to me, it seemed like he cared a great deal about me. he’d get close and lightly touch me on the arm in this certain way when talking to me, it was familiar and acknowledging. i do really like him and think we would be great in a relationship but we do need to make a little more time for each other and at least be able to go out occasionally. there are so many things that point to us being nothing but fb’s but also there are so many things that make it seem like way more than that. i told him that i would not be able to go through with that bc of the feelings i have for him, but eventually i gave in bc of the feelings i have for him. i wrote all my thoughts and feelings in the letter about this whole thing… 🙁. he was introduced through friends as a nice guy not looking for anything too serious. this guy just wants the ego reinforcement of knowing you like him because he saw you as a challenge. his teenage kid sometimes lives with him, sometimes w/ the ex. we talked before, even had a normal conversation during the intimacy! it sounds to me like you need to get things out in the open. it isn’t uncommon for him to place phone calls or send emails late at night while we’re together. by the way, it’s just rude that she failed to respond to an invitation to a concert, and you should hold that against her. he then texed me that me and him have no future in bf or gf but if i would like a mess around with him then he would be fine with it. you have nothing to gain by reaching out to him, and you risk looking desperate. however, being a female, it is almost impossible to have sex without feeling something and getting attached in one way or another. after we hooked up he stayed for like four more hours trying to get to know me and cuddling with me, and during our conversations he would randomly touch my arm, hair, kiss me, etc… how do i know if he is just interested in hooking up or if he may eventually want more? like i said, this guy is giving a lot of mixed signals – it's impossible to say what he wants with the information here. but there are too many ladies out there lying to themselves about what they want from a man just to keep a man. he visited that night and we kissed and i’ve been head over heels every since. if he’s 45, i assume his kids are a bit older.“despite all these things, i feel he is a great guy if he really cares for someone and is in love…”. do u still think i should get out while i can? he said that when he finds out if a sex buddy is falling for him that he cuts the sex off and concentrates on being friends. he said he might give up his celibacy because he felt like she tainted it and he wanted to feel like he was in control of his own body. we emailed back and forth just once every while, while he was traveling just to see how he was doing and then all of a sudden i didn’t hear from him anymore. my friends told me that i blew it and that was the only chance i was going to get because either he thought i responded that way because i wasn’t interested in him or because he is afraid of getting hurt. but all that time he was more than obviously staring at me in a way that suggested he found me attractive. timing isn’t great, because you’ve just been hurt. he replied that he didn’t want to think about it because he didn’t want me to leave, then asked what i thought. i was afraid he wouldnt want to talk to me. but if this has been going on for months, your presence should be evident in some way. i cannot tell you how many women have written to me giving those behaviors as examples of encouragement, only to have the guy say he doesn’t want a relationship. it’s like he always has to know where i am and what i’m doing. they find it awkward to initiate “the talk” about the relationship. i don’t need a commitment, but i also don’t need a broken heart…. advice is always to wait to have sex at least until you feel secure that you and he are on the same page in terms of what you’re looking for. susan,well this is still doing my head in, as per my previous posts. of my friends suggested to just ask him to kiss me! or he has a fear of commitment/doesn’t want to get hurt? he may be shy, he may be wary because he was hurt once, or he may not want to get involved with someone when he knows he is leaving. all of our hanging out has a solid intent behind it – either studying, or cuddling, or sex. nope, he’s just enjoying your company without getting emotionally involved. and i know how much it seems like he just came to me because he knew i'd say yes, and i feel like shit about that. i have difficulties to fully trust and show my emotions without holding back, because i am affraid to get hurt. i have been dating this guy for almost five months. why would he ask you to move after hanging out and hooking up for a week? but that doesn't work so well for you – maybe he'll come around later, but for now i would definitely let it go. i have two classes with him next semester, so i’ll be seeing him whether i want to or not. at the same time, he’s repeatedly told you he’s not ready to get “serious. that leaves you with taking a “wait and see” approach, or giving him more time. it seems like the two of you have been dancing around the real question for ages., do you think it would be forward or presumptuous of me to send him a little text to let him know he’s on my mind or hope you’re having a good weekend, etc? he told me he hasn’t been able to feel this way ever since his official breakup with his ex a year ago as well. is never too soon to ask a man what he’s looking for – you ask when you need to know. some examples: he comes to my house every night and spends the night. but something happened this past weekend he spoke to one of his friends ” therapy talk” about i guess this one girl and me. so this is where i had not idea what to say.. he actually tries to dress up and look presentable when you hang out. i’ve been being chased by this guy i know, for a couple years now, and although, at first, i liked him, after a few months, decided that he was not for me, and short of telling him bluntly, “give it up, i’m not interested”, i’ve dropped every subtle– and obvious– hint that i can think of. apparently i blew up at him because i wanted to meet him so badly on the day his exams end, but he seemed so nonchalant about it. it didn’t work out and as soon as he found out he asked if he could come see me…. after by chance again (we didnt text to meet) he saw me sitting outside reading and joined me, and we hung out for like 20 min. if i could bring myself to date a guy, i would definitely pick him in a heartbeat. here is my question,Recently i met an old friend and the second night i was in his place we had sex. he offered to make me breakfast but i declined and left early in the morning. he seemed then, and every other time we hung out, was that he truly wanted to get to know me. next day he tells me about a girl he’s arranged a date with. a few years ago i met a guy at work and in a short space of time we became quite close in a chatty and conversational way.” and he came out and said “i don’t know if i want a relationship cus my past ones have ended badly and well we live in the same building so it’d be awkward. so much, because at 11 years my junior and 75lb over weight i looked and felt horrible., and talked after, still asking me questions and trying to get to know me. you can’t force him into anything else if that’s what he wants (don’t get all alex forest in fatal attraction on the poor guy). i know you’ll miss the attention, it’s flattering, but as long as you are attracted to him and in touch, you’re making yourself emotionally unavailable to some guy who is single! but we would still stay in touch with msn or with facebook from time to time and when he came to visit. he never talks about her and the only way i know they are together is bc her facebook page says so. don’t try to be his friend – that just means more sex when he finds it convenient. and since am new to this kind of relatioship,i thought it was a good thing to start from here and have fun with someone i wont have to run into on the streets or something like that,so……we`ve been chating everyday and having our online satisfaction but since we had our first real encounter,things have changed. he has agreed not to see anyone else, but that’s meaningless. however, i am “crushing” on this guy, but just want to understand him a little better. i feel happy in a relationship and safe from womanizing vultures. i guess i still feel like i have questions and that i didn’t get clarity at all. he takes me out with all of his friends and mine come too. first is our age difference, even though it is legal, i am 17 and he is 21. he may find you attractive or even like you but feels the timing is not right.), does not seem to care much about learning what things i like, does not seem to want to see me more than once per week, has never complimented me, and his profile is still on the online site (mine is as well…). always hate raising the issue, but it’s a no-lose situation. he was cute and dorky, but i am too and there is so many things that we have in common.” don’t excuse a man for not remembering important facts about you because he’s “forgetful. then he texts if i want to be buddies with him with benefits.
How to know if you re dating a loser
Valentine s day with someone you just started dating
How to Tell if You're Potential Girlfriend or Just His Hook-Up Buddy it definitely caused some sleep deprivation on both ends, and an understanding that further engagements could not be the same. i have a feeling that maybe he really does feel that way and really thinks i deserve better. he dumped his gf and we started sleeping together again. so here’s the latest, and if any of these don’t seem like indicators otherwise, feel free to say so!– made the bed and cleaned up all dishes, glasses, etc., had a girlfriend at the time, but he and i spent many nights together, went out on dates in open public, and i moved out of my home, as my marriage began desolving at the seams prior to a. late june after he found out i was returning he started to ask “did i love him” that conversationwent on then all summer he was saying how much he missed me and stuff. there is no one else and he does not want anyone else we are exclusive and i said if i met another guy (relationship type) i would stop what we have together, this is when he started to get wierd and was like “no you don’t have to do that we can still see each other, i’d be fine about it”. i remember most of the conversation we had but there are parts that i don’t and that’s what’s killing me. i would like to be exclusive and start a relationship, so maybe i should just give it more time. but i’ve never brought him around, he’s never brought me around his circle and, while at first i wasn’t sure, now i know and consider him a companion., i would first like to start with acknowledging the fact that this site is great and at the moment i am very appreciative of it! i am a 20 year old female who started to hook up with a guy lets call him “john”. idea of what might be going through his head would be great! we cuddled and watched movies if i came over at night. it’s far from ideal – asking for this clarification right now, but you need to understand as best you can so that you can make plans for your future. often say that they enjoy intimacy in the moment, but that it doesn’t change their desire to stay single and pursue other women. i was straight forward with on letting him know my feelings. moving along here, a, started to keep his distance from me after things got really difficult for me, and during a few life challenges..and i said “hope you had a good night” and all he responded with was “thanks i did” so after that i decided to let him initate. we went for lunch very casual, talk a little bit of everything, we laugh. i like this guy and i just want to know if he likes me back. i guess what i’m wondering is, if he’s just in it for the hookup or how to realize if he wants more. i’m my worry is i’ve been holding onto an unconventional relationship, while other attractive offers are coming around. the biggest warning sign here is that he had a sexual relationship with you, backed away from committing, and then got a girlfriend the next month. after i didnt see him for like a month and a half. is there any possibility this could be more, or am i just naive? i got to see him crying at work, it made me so sad. i’m going bonkers and getting anxious and i keep telling myself to just sit on my hands and wait. i’m dating, meeting new people and traveling a lot. both parties have something to lose when there’s a misunderstanding. the routine usually went like this: come over for dinner, cook, watch a movie, go to “sleep”, cuddle a ton, actually sleep, wake up together, cook breakfast together (the whole time he would always touch me and be affectionate while we were cooking together and give me kisses etc). do know he is a very affectionate cuddler by nature and likes public displays of affection and that he certainly made me feel that way when we met. long story short we had a conversation and he said something that i took the wrong way and pretty much thought he wasn’t interested in me at all. don’t take the flirtation as indication that he likes you, unless there are specific actions that back it up. the boy and i ended things 2days ago and i am devastated. now, many month later, we have been hanging out regularly as friends. if he doesn’t, it’s better that you know what’s up, so that you can decide the best way to proceed. now that you have hooked up, he will either back off or continue his interest. is this a communication issue, or does this indicate a noncommitment from one or both of us? although, he said,”it’s not that he wouldn’t think of me as a gf or w/e. i know he was drunk, so he was being silly probably. my blowing him off and my calling him out (in a nice way) to the fact that he wanted to “spend the night”…he’s kept in touch vis sms ever since. he fits the description of interest and he also seems to seek reassurance about how he looks etc (kept asking about things). a month ago he asked me if i wanted to be “friends with benefits” i told him i didn’t want if it wasn’t going to mean anything more than that to him. if you are dry, lube can help, but if you are anxious and your pelvis is contracted you are definitely not ready. your doing things you’ve never done for other people. he got jealous mad and told me he wanted to beat the guy up (just figurately, of course! so i didnt hear from him over the whole summer saw him a few times around the neighborhoods but that was it. he seems to be trying to say that he enjoys being with you but that he wouldn’t take anything you have together seriously. i just want to figure out what his angle is. please do check back in anytime and keep me updated! he started to kiss me a lot more, and caress me, and look into my eyes so strangely.’ve been hanging out with this guy for about a month now., i’m still distrustful of guys (after my ex) and don’t know if i’m capable of being in a relationship. im curious and feel the same way as he does, but he doesn’t seem to care. just can’t see falling for a woman who’d fuck for three years a guy she shows no inclination for more with.’s always asking me about my life or stories from my past. should i make the decision for him and leave it as plantonically as friends? do some guys do all of the above simultaneously with several women? we must of seen eachother everyday for 2 weeks before initiating in sexual intercourse. he looks into my eyes, moves my hair from my face and sometimes even just strokes my hair with his hand. should take the risk and tell him i want more…instead of dropping hints…. if you want to be dating “out in the world” and not in his room, what you can do is lead that kind of life regardless of whether he comes along – plays, music events, art shows, pep rallies, sports, mixers, you get the idea. you kindly for taking the time to reply – and spot on! also i haven’t introduce him to my friends either because i don’t know if i should introduce him as a friend or boyfriend. we became fast platonic friends and we got along great. no anger or emotion against him is necessary; again, it’s ok to be disappointed. and from what i’ve seen, guys usually are not the ones to bring this up – it’s pretty well understood that women generally want a commitment, and the guy decides. if you’re temporary hook-up or a booty-call, he isn’t going to have much interested in showing you off to his friends. in fact, he hides it from everyone other than us. if he does reply, and wants to go out, tell him that sunday is now booked (at this point, he shouldn’t have a random-access claim on your time hours in advance). 5 spots in nyc to take a horror film buff8 absolutely awesome things to do this weekend in nycwe just got a sneak-peek tour of the pop-up art exhibit of our dreamspush it to the limit with the #1 escape room in the u. about a year ago i got out of a terrible relationship, and though i have seen several guys since, i still dont feel ready to commit to a real long-term relationship.: haha i guess we are both not good at the texting thing but im glad we are both on the same page on the last bit 🙂. started to go out together; i started to like/notice him around mid december due to some heart-quality he showed to me and i was deeply moved by that way of being. other words, he has to decide now if he sees a possible future with you. went to see him with the strength to not hook up with him and i fell week and we did.“what does he mean when he says he wants to keep it ‘casual’? he exihibits all the signs in the article, he seems interested in my life and even confides in me about his. in fact, i encourage you to wait until you’re with a guy who you like a lot, and who has said he likes you too. there are many guys out there – don’t settle for someone who doesn’t know what he wants and doesn’t treat you respectfully. you affectionate names and referring to a future time when you might be dating is not a commitment. the fact you’re turned upside about this tells me you very much do want a romance with this guy, you can call that “rushing into something” or whatever but you don’t have to rationalize that you don’t want to “rush. don’t know you, but i have your best interests at heart here. i know and feel that we had both developed feelings for each other. so we did and we were just watching tv and talking. i agreed being as i myself had just gotten out of a long term relationship. men don’t consider wife material until they’ve got the radar screen on. this is the first time in 2 1/2months that he has not contacted me, no evening text or call and no morning text. he always asks me question after question after question about me, almost like i don’t even get a chance to answer his questions because he keeps asking more! i assured him he had done nothing wrong and that i liked him and he said he knew and he was sorry (! he says i would be his girlfriend if these thing were different. well, right after the friend and i started working together there was some very intense flirting, we even got to the what are you looking for in a life partner conversation (strangely enough we are pretty much exactly what the other is looking for). so we went out on the balcony and he started kissing me, at which point i initiated a conversation that if he expected us to hook up he needed to contact me and hang out with me sober. we chatted some more, then he said he had to leave and would text me. you susan,I have been dating this guy for about 5 months, but it’s not a real relationship, it’s just friends with benefits. he turned into a complete idiot and for various reasons i knew that i was not ready. it sounds like he is definitely more than fwb, but he also sounds like he is slow to commit. i asked him several times if this is what he wanted and he said yes. but i realize i'm letting him do this to me, so it's up to me to stand up for myself. guys know that girls want to hear exactly those things, so they do it without making any kind of real commitment. it still feels like some kinda test as i said before in my preivous posts. i try to just start out liking and then let feeling and time decide where it goes. i know the new guy enjoyed talking to me too since he posted something about it on his facebook. all his friends know this about him, he is far worse than the average guy in that department. mean, i spend alot of time with this guy, but now he's not even kissing me anymore. and of course now that we are sleeping together i’m getting all “girlie” lol please help me sort this out. so i explained to him about my past relationship and that i didn’t think i was ready and he totally understood and we left it in the past. later that week with that on my mind i realized how i was always initiating and how i’m really falling for this girl.. he told you in the beginning he just wanted to be friends? but i am really falling for this guy and i don’t know if he is too or just wanting to a permanent hook up here. he does say that this is just for now, that in the future, maybe even a week or in a month, he may change his mind. i don’t do this as a rule, and i don’t want to be told i messed up royally now because again, this guy is exactly my physical type in every way, and i thought we were connecting mentally and emotionally too…. one day out of the blue he just literally stopped talking to me! but make no mistake, if he’s seriously into you, he will show you off. then i changed my mind and we went out but i was honestly not ready. but he continued to text and call and ask if we can have dinner, i kept saying no..by now you know whether the guy wanted to keep seeing you, but it sounds like it is strictly sexual. don’t focus on the sex, focus on the friendship or attachment. he even brought up to me in front of his friends something like, “if we were living together, would you do this ______”. he has said he is willing to be exclusive, which is a good start. i asked why he called me out of everyone else and he said because he wanted to see me. he ended up with a girlfriend anyway and i was okay with that because i didn’t have feelings for him- i was just attracted to him. as a man, i have become an expert in how i ghost other people. the whole night although less conversation, all our sexual exchanges (i’m not going to get graphic) were not typical to someone you randomly sleep with, or not in my previous encounters. he holds me and sleeps next to me when we have sex he wants me to get off at least 2-3 times before he even wants to have sex as in oral sex and then spends more time focused on me again not complaining just curious as to what it could mean. one of the guys in particular kept looking at me and smiling and when i went to the bathroom he said something to me but i didn’t hear him or respond due to the fact that there was a female with them. i asked him what his expectation was and he replied with “expectations are not really what i enter relationships with. next night we had a very intense two hour fool around session in which he told me he is not looking to be in a relationship and that he isn’t sure that i can keep my emotions seperate and that he doesn’t want to hurt me… i told him that i could just have fun and things have been progressing from there…since then we have been fooling around every now and again as well as having some sexually charged conversations via text message. it hurt, i felt used and thought he was going to avoid me. like in statistics, “mixed” results usually mean a hypothesis tested false. don’t get carried away with visions of moving somewhere with him to live happily ever after. think about what you want, and then find out what he wants. i also have to remind him that when i find a boyfriend its over. we haven’t really gone on many dates, but we hook up and sleep together on the regular now. asked me out a day later and we had an amazing first date on the 1st of january 2012 that ended with breakfast and beer at 6 am. you say we should always keep dating and meet guys as long as we’re not agreed upon being exclusive, and i assume that goes for guys too? when i tried to ask him the same he skirted around it then said no. it has turned into something more passionate and intimate where he actually cares for my wants/needs." you definitely need to know if he's hooking up with others girls, especially if you are having sex. a sophomore in highschool and i recently moved to a very small town during first semester. you are not asking for a guarantee, but you really need to know what he is thinking and feeling. in the beginning, we always texted back and forth and he always had really cute things to say to me, like compliments not just on what i look like but personality as well. he doesn’t want that he’s a manipulative bastard and you should cut him out of your life entirely. and if you do hear the worst, then cut him off 100%.”then be very open and honest about how you feel and what you want. susan,so there was a guy in my class last semester. thing that really scares me: as i said hes very close with my roomates, and so he knows their romantic situations and dispenses advice to them accordingly. dream that he will fall for you is normal – that’s what women always feel. he’s started to add more kissing, he’s now clasping hands, and being snuggly with me. it doesn’t need to be hostile, just an honest statement that the fwb is not working for you anymore. i've like about your comments – the ones i've read this far – that they are not 'formula responses'. a guy who is reluctant to be someone’s boyfriend is not right for you.“should i just be patient and wait for him to contact me? this week, during one of our text convos, he casually bring up first when i’ll be “coming up” to his city… and i say this long weekend! i texted him this morning just saying hello and asking how is he doing. i wonder if i should let it go or tell him how i feel? but then when we came back from the break, he asked me out. it doesn’t sound like you have any residual feelings for your ex, and you seem to have ended the relationship, so i wouldn’t delay on that account. he’ll always text me and see what i’m doing and seems interested in my life stories. examples make it clear that you may approach this as fwb, but he doesn’t. i like him a whole lot but ik not sure if this is beyond sex. we again were at the bar a few weekends later and he came up to me and hugged me and asked me to dance, afterwards he held my hand and told me he wanted me to meet some of his friends, that night we didn’t do anything either. that intense chemistry came to a halt with him in bed, he genuinely couldnt perform in bed for more than 30 seconds before…. i just let it go and finally he emailed me to see how i was doing and noticed some changes i’ve made (just school direction and such) and was writing to me like nothing bad happened in the past. i texted him the other day to see how he was…his response “depressed”. he also asked me if i would like to have a 3 some with his hot roomate. the minute he does anything rejecting or hurtful, you should walk away. i have learned to sometimes just let things sort themselves out: i. am i fooling myself and walk away from this situation? reminds me… every time we’re at a party, the whole night his eyes are on me, and they oddly appear as if they’re smiling. it’s pretty clear that the two of you have strong feelings, and that the timing still isn’t right. he seemed then, and every other time we hung out, was that he truly wanted to get to know me. i asked him what he was crying for and he said it was just really good to see me. is it true that a guy will let go of a girl no matter how much they care/love/want in their lives if they aren’t ready financially or in general ready? maybe this is just me but i also feel that when you both orgasm together there is something deeper involved than just “lets fuck and get our rocks off together” but like i said that could just be my way of thinking. get asked out by the opposite sex fairly often, and i also do get setup by friends on dates. he considers us friends, nothing more, nothing less and that he wanted us on the same page. we still talk, but i’m nervious, don’t know what to do when i see him next time, help please…. he said no because he was just out of a relationship and was really sorry. do not meet during the day, due to our schedules not matching up.. he mentions future plans as if you could potentially be a part of them. i told him i had a one night stand in another country with some guy i met while traveling, no big deal, i thought, but i told him because he wanted to know if i was with anyone while he had been gone. it took me 4 months of him running me down until i made up my mind to let him know i liked him. i’ve never been happier in fact, and i’m truly ready to receive and give in a loving relationship. i don’t want to text or call because i don’t want to feel like i am nagging- what should i do? because so many relationships do start with hooking up first (although only 12% of sexual hookups ever progress to a relationship), a guy can hook up, have real feelings, and then worry about showing them too early. i recently got out of a horrible relationship so i am not ready for anything serious. i later found out this was a girl he really liked. do you really tell if your hookup is looking for something serious? if i’ve been talking to a woman for “about a month,” and she and her friends invited me to a party, and then she refused to kiss me when we were alone, i’d take that as a serious rejection and that i had been friend-zoned. we again hooked up but we still talked for hours still trying to ask me questions and figure me out. after he left he limited conversation and to 2 times a week and he never start texting me and if i do he will answer with long delay or call me the day after that. did you want to take a break/stop seeing each other for bit? he very clearly tried to figure out how close i still was with my ex, and if i was with another one of our mutual friends. but then i started seeing the new guy and stopped feeling guilty about it because i was on a break. couples argue, it happens, it’s a normal part of relationships. whether that’s walking you to your next class, shooting you a “good morning” text, or meeting you in the library to study, he will make time. if he wants to stay uncommitted, he owes it to you to tell you if he gets with some other woman. does he want me to say, actually i really have developed some feelings for you and want to see if we are good together or does he want me to end it. he asked lots of questions about me, my life, family and education, which he’s never done before.!I wish i could just look in a crystal ball and penetrate his mind, but i cannot. i mustered up the strength and asked him if we could progress and become official today and he said. on friday and the time before that we also looked into each others eyes whilst having sex which didn’t happen before. even bringing up stuff in the past that i told him because he remembers everything i tell him.. if you feel very strongly about him, it might be better to cool it for a while – not hang out so much, and pursue the friendship when you're really over him. because i want to be his girlfriend, but he said he needed time to make the decision himself without me forcing him into it. he’s 31 and has only been in one short relationship, that is a major red flag. i even heard him telling our mutual friends that he started flirting/liking his roommate’s sister. i knew that if it continued i’d develop feelings and he said that was okay because feelings always get involved especially since we’ve known each other so long.. i really like him a lot, but not planning to contact him until he does, which is painful. this guy’s behavior isn’t unusual for a college guy, but it’s not the behavior of a guy who’s officially dating either. when he was walking me to get a taxi, he finally kissed me (it was my very first kiss), it was really passionate and it went on for a long time (i’d never thought i’d be willing to engage in a somewhat intense pda – to be honest, i was really happy, i didn’t even realise where we were at some point). i said that i understood, i just needed some reassurance sometimes that it wasn’t just meaningless sex. i played it very cool until a week after i became very upset.” the simplest conclusion is that he’s operating on a different “love plane” than you [email protected] course it could be something more, and there’s a good way to find out. i don’t know if he said the truth or if he is just pulling away. he said he cared about me and my feelings and that if i ever felt unsure of the situation all i had to do was text or call and he would reassure me. may be too early to ask him if you’re “the one” but if you’re having sex it is certainly not too early to ask, “how do you see me? he’s either ready or he’s not, and you can’t wait it out. trust me, if he liked you you would be on his mind constantly, he would be texting you for “maintenance”, as in, “to see how you’re doing” [or check up if youre hooking up with another brother] … id say see what the vibes are like while you guys are both on break and then see how it is when you go back to school, but in the end you should definitely stand up for yourself<3. i’d imagine that would be very awkward for people you date. if you don’t hear from him by saturday at noon, text him (“hey how are you doing” not “are we going out tomorrow?“once after a fight he said that it hurts, cause probably he has feelings for me. eventually he confessed he had feelings for me and i said that i didn’t feel the same, but didn’t want things to stop. would think he really likes me based on the above, right? am perfectly happy to be slow, but that sense of standstill at times (or is it still stand?,maybe if you hook up with him for another ten years he’ll think about making you his girlfriend. he even called me “his girl” in passing conversation when it turns out i’d met sone friends of his and they’d been “friendly” toward me (small world). every time i would call him drunk and ask his feelings he said he still liked me, but it didn’t fall back together. you describe sounds like a full-blown relationship to me, not fwb. maybe it was his charger left home… a crazy week, i don’t know, but even the tone of his texts is more formal, yet interested. so now with the year almost at an end and him being a senior i dont know what to do.? it’s very confusing and it’s not fair to send such mixed signals”. i saw him manday day as we both had afternoon off work, it was lovely we chatted, laughed etc. trust me, i see a prince charming in your future who considers you more than just booty to call. he said he thinks mqrrying a friene would be nice i asked him ifvwed date first and he saie yes and i asked if hed fheat and he said no. my husband i will break away from in november, but a. we were just finishing eachothers sentences and just talking in general. he left the next day to travel for a graduation present his parents gave him so didn’t hear from him for a couple weeks. i see going on is the following: you rejected him, twice, and he’s reacting as a guy who’s rejected will act – he goes away. one night we just cuddled and i thought maybe this is going somewhere. am a bit torn, as i don’t know if he is doing these things because he knows i am a woman ( 🙂 ) and that we “need these things”. that’s how we fell asleep and he wrapped his legs between mine and spooned me the entire night. be honest, it sounds like you’ve had a fling. this was before i told him it was out of the country and not any guy around here) and even during the hook up he brought the guy up and he wanted to make sure that i didn’t have him in mind and that i didn’t think any guy was better for me than he was. also, you may have plans for sunday – that is still five days away. also i think we’re both moody and complex personalities, sometimes fickle. but they aren’t heartbroken, or even close, if it ends. untill now, i messaged him to see how he’s doing. as a freshman, you’re already pulling girls so you will probably do well in the hookup scene. if he already ordered by the time you arrived, it means a couple things. my friends told me to let it go and/or just follow my heart but not to listen to anyone, just myself. our second date was almost canceled due to him not feeling well. i don’t consider myself the normal everyday kind of girl and i have always found it hard to find someone who really understands me. and then still have absolutely no desire to become an exclusive couple. the next day he told me he didn’t want a relationship and wasn’t ready for one yet. anyway, when he drove me home, he told me he hoped i realized i didn’t want a relationship because he wasn’t ready at all.: yeah, im in my friends room haha, leaving soon, come in 10ish min? what really got me was how he reacted when he saw me. i’m assuming he’s not admitting any of this to his friend. concerned bc it seems like now we never go on dates, just hang out on campus or in his room at night. i hung out with him for the entire night just talking and watching movies, until he suggested we go star-gazing. when i asked him if we were on the same page he said he likes me alot and not to worry about anything. generally speaking, women see marriage as a social proof enterprise, a demonstration of their successful hypergamy (“i’ve been chosen! its just such a scary thought but i know i deserve an answer. there’s this guy that i have liked for a long time and he never really liked me back.
29 Signs He's In It For More Than Just Sex : theBERRYi had been keeping it a secret, but he apparently told a bunch of his friends while i was gone the whole story, but said he had no feelings anymore.. how do i tell if he just wants to kiss or is genuinely interested? he sat next to me and held my hand under his leg and was hugging me and teasing me in front of them. nothing happened between us but it was pretty obvious we both wanted to. he would want to cuddle and get mad when i snuck out in the morning without saying goodbye. now, i know that you have been answering about alot of different situations, so i suppose i will ask about mine too (as brief as possible ;] ). on the other hand, he has never made a move or admitted this attraction, even to his friends. but i’m afraid if i ask, i will come off as too “much”…. about two nights later i hung out with her and she ended up taking me back to her place where we made out for a good while during the week i text with her most days joking and flirting, but find myself initiating almost all of the conversations. he always asks me question after question after question about me, almost like i don’t even get a chance to answer his questions because he keeps asking more! he moved back to his parents house, just 8 hrs away from where i live and a few days later on new years eve/day, he spent hours just texting me and focusing on me while at a party when most people would be having fun and just partying the night away. not a bad one, but like he’d just seen a steak, lol. i actually respect him a lot, most guys would not remove your hand. he’d offer to give me lifts and ‘rescue’ me from unwanted attention if i was out. now we can go a week without talking as in before we would talk in some form everyday. i found out he was on a dating website meeting other girls, but he would say ” don’t worry it’s not going to work out” i don’t know why he kept telling me that. i don’t know, i’d probably go for the kiss, but i’m impulsive that way. on the way there he tells me tonight is the night of his date we had fought over and that he tried to move it to the day time but the girl said it wouldn’t work for her. if you stop seeing this man, i would think very carefully before entering another arrangement like this one.” we woke up and he left after a cup of coffee. from a male perspective, it might be a sweet deal – no obligations, no explanations required, sex pretty much whenever you’re in the mood, and great sex at that. night i told him i needed to talk to him. he tried to find time to make friend and hang out with me but i was very busy with school and other things. ive been running a google search on ‘how to tell if your fwb/hookup is into you’ and voraciously trying to find some kind of relevant commentary on my situation 🙁 i noticed in the comments that you have been so generous to assess personal issues, and so i was hoping you could help me out with a current issue im facing- i would appreciate any and all help, thank you! so we went on our first date about 3 weeks ago and on that date after about 10 hours of bein together just talking and enjoying learning about eachother he held my hand and said, it’s quite obvious that we both like eachother but i just want you to know that i’m not looking to jump i to anything, i just want to go with the flow. i haven’t really heard from him after that and it’s been about 3 months now. they know about me but i think he feels awkward about my age and my children. again i’d like to say before, during, and after the intimate time, we still had a full on conversation catching up and he was still asking me questions and questions still wanting to know more about [email protected]’s no easy way – you must tell him how you feel now, and why. there’s no reason he can’t have a girlfriend and still have his guy time. somehow i am drawn to him and i know i will not run a mile. even after several occasions where i clearly said no, he kept asking2., i quite enjoyed reading this, but i have a few questions. but he recently told me that he does not really like sex. he may feel jealous of another potential boyfriend, sure, but he’s not saying he wants to be that boyfriend. why he doesn’t want what you want is not really understandable; he may not understand it himself.:– said “i don’t want to like you” and “you don’t want me to fall in love with you, do you? he can’t tell me he sees me in the future but he also doesn’t deny it. thats what we originally signed up for so he has known that all alone. he is not “acting like we’re in a relationship. when it didnt work out he told me he’d like to “hang out” again, when the next weekend comes around. however, the bottom line was ” i don’t have time for a relationship. i reassured him i was still into him and had no other guy in mind. he has only been in a few relationships before me and he’s still a virgin. upshot of this is that men don’t typically consider who they want to marry until they’ve decided they actually want a marriage itself. if this is your boyfriend, he’s not acting like a very good one. you have truly fallen for him, and you’ve been together sexually and socially for six months, you need to know where he stands. know that i agree with you, because i’ve written about intimacy lite and say what you need to say. we ended up just hanging out like the first time and it felt the same.. and that hasnt happened since we have been back at school for two weeks. i had met her once or twice before (very briefly) through a mutual friend a few years back. only you can say at what point you need to define the relationship. what other women are willing to do, to condone or participate in can not be my guiding line in such a deeply personal and private matter. usually when he says good bye, he would give me a great hug and kiss on the forehead, but at the end of that night, it was an awkward hug. you are feigning a lack of interest to protect yourself, i. but alas i am falling for him, i am so confused about him though. i want to stay with you” he likes stroking my head and he looks into my eyes in an intense way, infact i’ve caught him looking at me quite alot and so i keep saying ”why are you looking at me? forward to this past summer and he randomly texts me to say he misses me and remembers hoe awesome our first night was together. i’m sorry, but i don’t have a good feeling about this at all. girls need to make their wishes and expectations clear if they don’t want to fall into the fake bf trap. you’re fwb, which is zero strings, and you’re still very young and live at home. i also wonder what he wanted to say drunk, but didn’t say. it is now saturday, november 13, and i still haven’t gotten any text from him at all. if he has feelings for you and fights them, he’s not emotionally available. an acquaintance from 3 years ago messaged me on facebook asking how i am, how’s my boy, to which i replied, we broke up and then he joked, so that means i can take you out right? despite all these things, i feel he is a great guy if he really cares for someone and is in love…i just don’t understand what is wrong with me since he apparently loves so many things about me yet wants nothing apart from spending time and bed. tell him you’ve been thinking about him, or how good it was to see him, and that you’d love to hang out again soon.: let me know the next time you want to hang out, for now i have to go to bed, have an acct test :/.:class, work the usual fun things, where have u been? i know you’re probably going to tell me to just talk to him about it or ask him what the deal is but i don’t want him to think “oh god… look what i got myself into. he invited me over all the time to stay with him. sadly, i do the turning down after a couple of dates because i don’t want to lead them on. i’ve been told that he does but he is ‘afraid of commitment’ or something, i understand he was traveling before and have always been understanding of that and that could be a reason why he was the way he was, and i’ve heard that if a guy isn’t financially/emotionally ready, he’ll push any girl away, even if he really cares, and who knows maybe he’ll come back when he’s ready. i hooked up with him last week, and i’m trying to figure out what to make of it. he needed to express this because i was getting kind of attached to him and he didnt wanna do something stupid and have me hate him. do you really tell if your hookup is looking for something serious? he always kisses and hugs me goodbye and often comes to my house straight from work. all you answers are amazing help, i just need you to answer mine just so i can finally sleep instead of constantly thinking about it at night haha. he still tried to hang out with me again and trying to figure out a day.’s not necessarily a mind game, it may be that he just isn’t sure. if he does not, i advise you to cut your losses. susan,its me again…so i wasn’t able to hold out long and i confronted the man and we had a small talk about “us. spent all day with him and her and then ate with my family. it just doesn’t work to spend this kind of time together and have no idea what the other person is thinking, especially if you find yourself bonding with him. that night when i got home i added the guy on facebook by accident because my friend was in the front of his default picture. i have a friend whom i knew for a while. he gets affectionate and says how much he likes you, he is giving in to an impulse, but it doesn’t last. i’ve been pretty receptive i think, and he initiates contact most of the time. his reason for being celibate was he felt like he was neglecting his friends among other things. enjoying your comments/articles susana – thank you for sharing them! anyway, since that all happened we seemed to have gotten really close. he finally responded telling me he didn’t want to hold me back and that he really wasn’t making sure i wasn’t with anyone, that he was just asking (which i don’t believe because he got jealous angry when i brought up the last guy, which wasn’t even a big deal to me). i feel hopeful that maybe he does feel more for me than he is letting on but feels like a relationship would distract him from his goals. we kept in touch a little, but he hooked up with other girls (which was part of the arrangement i stupidly suggested to protect my feelings).: k see u in a bitwe hung out and it was once again back to normal, talked, cuddled, kissed, then he had to leave bc he had to run early in the morning (he does track)nothing sat, nothing sun. he told me that he understood where i came from, he was trying to keep in touch with me as much as he could, or he was giving me a lot of the free time he barely had. we both made it clear that we only wanted a physical relationship because of both of our busy lifestyles (both being single parents) and because of the possibility of a conflict of interest because he knows my ex. you can go with platonic friendship for now, stop kissing and encouraging him in any way. he saw me from a ways away, got off his bike and came up to me and hugged me, sweetly talking to me, we talked for a while, and before we parted ways he gave me a really good hug and a kiss on the forehead. is this guy confused, screwed up, not into me, the two times he brings up the conversation about us he trys to see whats happening and if all is ok etc but we just go round in circles. he wasnt particulary nice to her and it was after theyd broken up we first slept together. certainly if the owner found out, you could easily be fired. and the only way to find out what the player is thinking or planning is to ask him. we’ve only been together for a little over a month. he looked over at me and smiled the cutest smile ever. i give him advice and he listens and offers me with just that. he continues to come by my office to have coffe, we talk and we exchange things. but a few times and especially when he was leaving he seem rejected and offended that i only wanted him as a fb. he’s probably just trying to get in there one more time, after which he’ll dump you again. he considers us friends, nothing more, nothing less and that he wanted us on the same page., i’ve been reading through all these stories hoping to find one similar to my current dilemma. i realize that im sending him very mixed signals too but its bc im s cared he doesnt feel the same way. i apologize for the delay – the oldest one goes back several weeks. ale: we never actually “hooked-up”, and thank god for that. you really like this guy, i would stop having sex with him immediately. he shows about 8 of the signs you have posted above. this guy was not interested in talking to me and he just didn’t have the good manners to hide it. reply back: ok xoxo 🙂i know you are not a psychic but base on your experience what’s your opinion? if he is still involved there, it puts you in a position of having to compete with another woman for his attention, and that is unfair to you. my previous relationships have been heavy cohabitating type situations or long distance; i’ve never really “dated” anyone so i have no idea what is normal, or expected, or what to do. if you are 29, ready to meet someone for a serious relationship, and as much fun as it sounds like from this story, you will be in high demand.,i’ve “hooked up” (no sex) with this one guy two different times within the past four months. and i said, i don’t want you to but i you should go because that’s what your heart wants and you don’t want to live a life full of regrets. spending every weekend together, meeting family and friends, daily contact – these are all behaviors of a couple! instead of praying my tomato plants to grow, i go to the store and buy some tomatoes. why i feel like he’s into me:-he always lights up and smiles when he sees me come in at work.?U have a point about him not being around for a whole year. susan, i know you’re not a psychic or anything but basically i really need an opinion, severely! i told him that i understood his reasoning, i didn’t like it but i understood. i’d never thought i’d be seeking advice on the internet! i think im going to need a shot before i do that hahathank you sooooo much for taking the time to read and respond to my messages! i’m confused again… do you think that means he is not as into me as i am to him. he even said to me ”i like you quite alot” and he was worried that i only wanted him for sex. generally don’t put any time or energy into platonic friendships with women. i went over there the next week, and we ended up sleeping together. the conversation is nice and casual and not at all sexual. over the next few days i got the silent treatment, eventually i text and then it all seemed to et back to normal. then another night at the bar we danced and ended up making out on the dance floor, he took me back to his dorm and we just made out for awhile, talked and watched a movie and then he walked me home later that night. my facial expressions can be easily read and he could tell right away if i liked or didn’t like something and he right away changed it up and made it better. i am not a believer in the concept of “dropping the bomb. i was alarmed (i had no intention of falling for him, both of us had just gotten out of horrible relationships and, as far as i had thought, both of us were looking for an optimal friends-with-benefits situation to supplement our intense university lifestyle) and i so insisted that we have the “talk” when i return. if he liked you, he would be eager to make sure you know it so that you don’t get with another guy.’s all in the early stages and i want to play my cards right… so i intend to not sleep with him until i know he’s not seeing anybody else or we have a dtr talk.) well, i’ve known him for years but not well, just from school.: idk i feel like you’re avoiding my question — if youre not just say so and ill drop it. if they hit on me, she tells me that he gets really jealous and the look on his face is like he’s gonna kick their ass. i may not have all the answers, but i’ve had those kinds of girls’ nights. he then explained how he has never invited a girl update durin hunting season. much does he give power to those people and how much could the impact be of derailing what is growing between us? took me to a hotel bar where a band as playing, he wanted to hear me sing (i sing for jazz band on the side) and he even took a video. a week or so later we went on a trip to vegas with all our mutual friends. you give hints that say no, but something about your manner or body language says yes! but that’s not enough to merit a one-way commitment on your part. we haven’t had sex yet, but i am wondering if we should or if that would be a bad move. other thing is that im battling lots of self esteem issues. i texted him that night telling him a long list of how i feel about this, how i felt he’s not putting as much effort and stuff. for a lot of guys, dates are reserved for girls they’re really into. truth is that in this smp many guys are not interested in a long night of cuddling with some groping thrown in. i’ve heard that means a guy wants the company of a girl but at the same time wants his distance. venting is more towards guys and why they are the way they are. he was there for me when th eguy i was seeing cheated and drove to my uni to see me and just talk all night., long story shorter… he has never stopped putting in effort to spend time with me. if you have a date for wednesday, he will likely be in touch monday or tuesday to confirm and make arrangements. saw him a few days after that and we hooked up again. know i have exhaustively explained my situation as best as i can – what i really need is to know his possible angle, if there are any major clues i am missing out on, and more importantly how to approach this situation. the first time we hooked up (last week) we kissed and touched ( fully clothed). operating the marriage requires a lot of time and effort, and most men are pragmatic and want to build up other enterprises in their lives before they devote the bulk of their effort to that one. he approached me, made small talk, asked for my number and proceeded to ask me out the same night. it might be awhile before i have a chance to do it, so keep your fingers crossed, lol. there are so many conflicting signals and emotions in this story, it’s impossible to know what either of you is feeling. we’re hanging out, i’m “bonding” with your kid. on the other hand, he may just be genuinely busy, and will actually text me when he has time., should i ask him next time i see him in person or is it ok if i just ask him over the phone? i didn;t want a relationship with him back then so i didn’t always reciprocate his affections. i separated from my husband 6months ago and am a mother of two little girls. that killed my mood in particular about him, before the past even came back into the picture. i understood and we hooked up but at the same time it didn’t feel like just a hook up. but its kept secret…he hooksup wih other girls and does not keep it a secretn he says its for our friends sake.. shower sex happens in the morning, even if the two of you haven’t brushed your teeth yet. evidence for (1): you’re quite defensive about jesus’ assessment that you’re just boning. i miss him a lot and i want to tell him that but don’t know how, so now i don’t know when am i going to see him because he didn’t mention anything. now we are done with college both hanging out, still flirting, and eventually lots of sexual tension lead to a really hot hookup (w/ sex). i have no doubt in my mind he cares about me so, so much. but plenty of people in relationships did start out with sex and got to know each other afterwards. i don’t understand what he is up to but i’m just trying to be a cool friend. you already know he will commit to someone he is really into, so if he won't by your boyfriend, then…. he kept asking if i was ok and he brought me water & stuff after i got sick. careful with this sort of projection where you start putting words in people’s mouths by judging them by your own standards. but him feeling 'bad' per se does not do good to anyone. it was quite romantic, he had a fire waiting for me (which he knows i love). only way to know is to ask directly and pointedly. it was fine for me as i just came out of a long relationship and wanted something without complications. last night he came over to my place and the same thing happened, but we ended up hooking up. if it’s fwb, then long, soulful chats about what you’re doing are just making the dynamic between the two of you more complicated. also the whole time i have known this guy his friends always call him a man whore which concerns me a lot, but at the same time this summer i spent a lot of time with him to the point where i would have noticed if he was with lots of girls. it used to just be sex but look at the past 6 months to a year the sex has changed. so i let it go and we really didn’t talk much but he still stared at me all the time.“it is like he wants to feel in love instantly./susan,i find helen’s comment to encapsulate all of a typical woman’s (and a lot of men’s) thoughts about fwb at the same time. i mean this was probably why i kept holding back my feelings towards him. i responded to his text, saying that we could try again for another date once he gets back into town. you don’t see him as a friend, you have strong feelings for him. we did, however, manage to establish that we are exclusive, but it is still a form of undefined relationship. i am ethnic, dark haired, dark eyed, olive-skinned and petite. it’s only been 2 weeks of texting and talking on the phone and 2 hook ups, then yesterday he called asking if it was okay that we put off the sex for now, so we wouldn’t get sick of it and so that he could put more respect into it and just hang [email protected] and frustratedone of the reasons he gave me was” you are very time consuming and are enough, my meeting up with other girls would not make you happy. so the girl didnt like me she picked cause i guess she was threatend by me but there was no need cause i had made up my mind to let him go. he got really defensive and tried assuring me to stick it out and see where it goes. i have to say, it does indeed sound like he is interested. so i explained to him about my past relationship and that i didn’t think i was ready and he totally understood and we left it in the past. now his brother was explaining to me how anthony (the new guy) is always so quick to fall in love etc…. if you really like him, take things slowly but be clear about your feelings from the start.”or, when he buys you a drink, he remembers what your favorite beer is. if you’re a booty-call or a place-holder, he will actively protest the sound of your voice because that’s just not what he wants from you. am a 28 year old singlr mom of 3 and for the past month and a half i have been hooking up with a 22 year old man.“now i dont know how to take it back… im not sure i want a boyfriend but i want him to know not to be afraid to tell me if he likes me. susan, i’d like to ask something regarding this r/s i have with this guy. after not talking for a while, he randomly contacted me and said he was getting back with his ex and he wanted to be friends., he might think you are not a girl for a "one and done" hookup. i told him if it counted or anything i had spent all day thinking of ways to bond with his daughter and he told me that that meant alot. we are both very busy-he works full time, and i am a full time student. i let a couple days pass and i sent him a text just to say hey, hope his week is going well., i see that badger had already given you good advice. the first couple of times that i have been over we would just make out. just little things like that really express how much he cares about me. i don’t know his reasons because i of course can’t read his mind, but if i’m not mistaken he drove all the way down just to see me because in that weekend he only saw the friend he drove down with, the friend who let him stay at his place, me, and his brother.. i dont know whats going on and why hes pulling away. he watches you all the time and goes out of his way to bump into you. i saw him again by chance, and we decided to make plans to hang out. he has literally had trouble fitting you into his schedule and has admitted that even close family members feel that he doesn’t make time for them. i met this guy i work with about 6 months ago. i dont know how to take it back… im not sure i want a boyfriend but i want him to know not to be afraid to tell me if he likes me. i’ve even asked guys whom i trust and they even said that the way he was with me was unusual. i want is to keep it casual,that was the agreement from the start and we made it clear,over and over again. also, there’s a period early on where both parties are getting to know each other, and shouldn’t necessarily be held accountable for their intentions regarding a relationship. if he can’t give you what you really want emotionally, cut him loose. since then, i look great, i work out everyday, i watch what i eat, i have learned to protect myself agains the mental and psychological abuses of my husband and in november we will be divorce. the conversation is filled with questions like, “why did he blow me off in front of his friends? that, i suppose, everyone has to gauge or find themselves what that means to them. during my first time 3 weeks prior to meeting this girl.,i’m not susan (too tall and no tits) but i’ll give it a try. it’s so hard, but you have to think of this experience as filtering out boys who are not right for you.“why am i only hearing from him during prime sleeping hours? is it too soon to tell him i’m falling for him? i went home and talked to my best friend who told me i was being pussie wipped and talked me into trying to hook up with someone else. i am 41 years old, my children are grown and gone, and he is only 6 years older than my oldest, but i love him so much that as i write this i feel the incredible void of his indifference, and void and i feel so defeated. i instantly drove to pick him up and take him to his house. however, our relationship now seems to be more centered around being ‘friends’ as opposed to simply the benefits (in contrast to most fwb’s where ‘friends’ is more of an obligation). he then told me that he wanted me to find someone else and i told him i didn’t want anyone else. the entire vegas trip he was looking out for me and really sweet, telling me how pretty i looked every night and mentioning that we had hooked up by making jokes in front of people. i’ve grown useto not hearing from him for several days, and seeing him once a week. most guys just hook up and move on or i guess the term ‘hit it and quit it’. you have an update, let me know, and i’ll try to answer right away. he is really bad at talking about anything serious, not even just relationship stuff. he’s supportive of my goals, very attentive when we’re together, and makes a conscious effort to lay off the phone unless it’s absolutely necessary to place a call/email. i’d much rather call or hangout with a person than text them. you want him to be “your” man, you have to act as “his” woman. the first night that we hung out, i implied that i wanted something with no strings attached. we found out we have a lot of things in common. there is only one solution: you have to lay it on the line. i’m not sure if i was used for a ride or if he actually likes me and really wants me to move up there or what. things have changed, he does not text like he used too everyday, no goodmorning texts, not many flirty ones. he pretends he’s joking and playful but i know he’s honestly asking for the real truth. we went star-gazing again and he kissed me and held my hand & wanted to know about my past relationships and stuff. i don’t know if that even pushes him away from me. these signs refer to that early period, where you don’t want to be calling him out, but you want a sense of how it’s going. was hard for me to read considering the guy i've been pining over falls under the majority of those signs, but i still feel slightly played. i don’t want to just hook up with him and repeat the past, with me feeling broken hearted, confused, and our friendship becoming awkward? we live in different countries, so one of us or both fly.
Does He Want a Relationship or a Hookup?i had also asked him the same , he said that he himself didnot know that he would get so close to me. i had asked him why doesn’t he put a dating ad on for the cities he travels in, and he says he doesn’t go to them often enough to want to have a gf there…. i’ve typed too much already, but just to add… he really is so good to me.” supply side economics is not a viable strategy, you can’t get a man to buy you by offering a great product unless he actually wants to buy the product in the first place. here’s the thing: if he just wanted a one-night stand, then he isn’t looking for a girlfriend and isn’t a good match for you right now.. and i feel like its sincere bc he is kinda of a quiet more reserved guy, not someone who is fake outgoing. it is confusing because before i gave into hanging out with him, as more than friends, it was always him texting me asking to hang out. i could really use a different perspective because i’d really like to know what you think!”, “why was he having an intimate conversation with some girl up on twitter? couple of weeks ago i saw my “whatever he is” and we had a horrid evening, he really upset me and was just in a nasty mood. far as your points go:He did look me in the eyes, kiss my face, very attentive, held my hand during and after sex, and in the ride back in the car. right now he has all the control in the relationship, and you hit the nail on the head – he is not respecting you. his last disappearing act resulted in his apology (which came about on his own), it wasn’t to be take personally and i deserve to know so since we are an intimate relationship and it’s something he does every now and then. i just gotta have the balls to straight out ask him what’s going. think you should wait for him to re-initiate before you send any “miss him” texts or whatnot. i totally enjoyed it, although i know it was not the best timing. so on friday i take her out to dinner and then we meet up with our friends and the whole night we are affectionately kissing and feeling each other and at one point she started rubbing my dick through my pants. i don’t ask him if he’s dating anyone else or how he spends his time (i really don’t want to know). i think you can simply say that you are feeling very confused about the events of the last two weeks. if you don’t wait, then by definition you settle. have no idea if he’s in it only for the sex, but he’s clearly making that a priority. so i’m taking this as i must be something special. or do i feel like i am falling for him because of the attention he is giving me now? he said he likes me, lvoes spending time with me, etc etc, but a relationship would not be wise as our future is so uncertain (i may have to leave the country in a few months for school and he is also not sure where he will be). im pretty shy (and have also not dated much or had a bf before, but am a sophomore in college) so i found this to be a relief. if he still wants to come around, and you think you want something more than casual sex, i’d try and schedule time to hang out without sex. he asked if i missed him i said “no but my aims getting better” and he texted back “well i’ve missed you”. i really don’t think you have any reason to be pessimistic. so last night i ended up going out and bringing a completely random girl to my room and made out. i have never heard of a woman wanting casual sex with the same person over a period of time without catching some kind of feelings. he might invite you to hang out with his friends or proudly show them your instagram. lot of flirtatious and sexual remarks are made when we talk. maybe he feels some affection, but i doubt anything more–at least i doubt it based on anything you’ve said. i talk about him, we spend time together, go out, eat, do the dirty, talk, yadda. i’m still unsure about this tho and it makes me do uncomfortable especially during school/between class. one day he went through my phone ( we were not even dating yet ) and he saw some texts from a guy that i was also interested in but i had stopped talking to. he is however a very good guy and person, has very good values and not the type that would ever cheat or lie. i’m curious whether he truly is into me, or uses work as a reason to hold back from the relationship.“then on thanksgiving, he didnt call me but texted me that night saying “hey sorry i didnt call u, im not feeling well, will try to call u tomorrow but i cant make any promises” and he didnt call. i don’t know if i shld feel upset or not 🙁. (we did not do anything sexual until 3 weeks into dating and it was like the 7th date. he’s already said he doesn’t want a girlfriend, so you’re facing an uphill battle here. i think i’m not fully committing a crush here because he is a commitment phobe and always pulls back from me when we have deeper convos – he did this even when we were just friends. it still felt the same like before but what had changed is he doesn’t want me with anyone else. if it’s still an issue, i’d set it up so that he has no choice but to kiss you. his not being able to enter you, it can take a while for a woman to become aroused enough to make penetration easy. i changed the topic and we talked about other crap for a bit and then:b: gotta admit i got used to having you around the last few weeks. i wanted a serious relationship and he seemed like a player so i was acting/being very indecisive. i realized that he was with another girl he met there who was from a different country. we made out, and afterward he gave me his #, and for the next few days he kept in touch. like i had said before, i’m a big chicken. he’s responded civilly in person but hardly got back to me via other types of communication i. he really didnt know that i liked him but i never caught on that he liked me but then all of a sudden i noticed liked him but it was too late. i want him to be my boyfriend (although i know you’ll say that’s pretty unrealistic). (his job had a retreat for teambuilding kinda stuff on sat and sun)he never respondedtuesday we had a club fair at out school, and i was there with my business frat and to look at the other orgs. after two weeks i went to him and again we had a great time together. we have begin to be intimate, for about a month now but only twice. i have no doubts that he likes me he is always telling me that am pretty, attractive. a couple of months at the end of last year i hooked up with this guy a few times. when he touches me, genuinely i know that he loves me, perhaps he isn’t ready for what that means, and what it can bring down on both of us. and we didn’t have sex, but while we were hooking up he was clearly focused on me. i drunkenly lost my v and i was unable to finish which i was sure was primarily due to my intoxication at the time. you think that from reading what i put down that he wrote verbatim he is still interested in me? our relationship is so strange i really dont get it…he told me the other day basically that whenever we are out together i am welcome to stay there whether we hookup or not, ik now that hes not seeing anybody else, he told me the other day that i “so great things for him he will never deny that and greatly appreciates them”, we hangout, hookup, im so attracted to him and hes very attracted to me, we get along great most of the time but i know he does get mad bc on a few occasions i have been drunk and gotten mad at him over frustration with this situation…we have been through so much together in not a lot of time, but it makes me feel bad because i care about him so much and understandably have a huge emotional attachment to him, i do believe he does care about me but i feel like he is still nowhere close to being able to commit to a serious relationship.. in the morning he doesn’t just dress and run, he takes his time to kiss and cuddle with you.. but that didnt last long before me and guy a was back together again. he finally called and asked me if i wanted to go on a date with him.… what if a hook up becomes very regular, displays quite a bit of affection in public (around people we had discussed should not be aware of said “hooking up”), allows you to be alone in his house while hes at an appointment, buys you coffee, makes you breakfast, provides you with a new toothbrush and insists you spend a majority of the day with him while going out of his way to be affectionate? i finally felt like i had him out of my system.” [he said he places a premium on looks, which was his basic criteria for all his previous relationships, but in my case hes attracted to my entire personality] there was one occasion where i was really angry about having to walk a few kilometers in the freezing cold and bitching about it so he called me a cab and arranged for it to drive us home. there’s no way to know unless one of you is willing to bring it up. it produces predictable, stable, low-risk benefits, but that’s it. if you like him, enjoy the time you spend with him, and let things develop naturally and without pressure., the guy i was talking to only wanted a hook-up. cut it short, we had a meal and drinks together that night, sat up until late, had sex and slept all hugging until i had to go to work. that night he finally kissed me and it just felt so wonderful. making out with somebody you’ve gone on a couple of dates with and/or hung out with just the two of you is not abnormal or slutty behavior. which is obviously fair enough because we have only been talking for a month. he has told you point blank that he sees you as a friend and nothing more. i think that in view of the way things have developed, he could not expect me not to want to be exclusive and, as he said, “it comes with the territory. people are often proud of their significant other and want to show them off, whether that be a tweet or two every once in a while, or a picture on instagram together. and yes, i was very interested in having a relationship with him- until he got married, obviously. also thank you so much for taking the time to write back. i still don’t know what he is doing though, all these mixed signals are really confusing me and actually beiginning to annoy me. we have talked a few times and texted maybe once or twice…i don’t know if this guy likes me or what! should i just ask him what is it that he wants from me? i’ve been told that he does but he is ‘afraid of commitment’ or something, i understand he was traveling before and have always been understanding of that and that could be a reason why he was the way he was, and i’ve heard that if a guy isn’t financially/emotionally ready, he’ll push any girl away, even if he really cares, and who knows maybe he’ll come back when he’s ready. the right thing to do is drop it to protect both of you. why can’t he tell me how he feels, instead of wanting me to put my feelings on the line and pleasing him? it's kind of hard for me to accept, though, because of the way he treats me when we're together. he shows some of the above signs but im still in the dark. he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t be worried about remembering things about you. the word heaps seems not only to quantify his love for you, but also to qualify it. but i played it dumb and kept telling him no, he was drunk. had a couple girlfriends (one after the other) during this time. instead of filling up precious girl time with questions that can’t be answered by a room full of confused women, let’s debunk some ambiguous situations with the male species so we can figure out where he’s placed on us on his relationship totem pole. i stopped contacting him, then he wished me a happy birthday with a nice text, i invited him to my birthday dinner but didnt make it again. it isn’t meant to be, your goals are not compatible. when his daughter, age two, would be over, i’d go over after she went to sleep and leave before she woke up. not a fan of that and makes me think twice about him anyway. he figured out i love him, and instead of running for the hills… he was excited and all smiley about it. i guess i didn’t mind doing this for so long cus i didn’t feel anything at the time, but now that i do, it just really messes with me. basically he told me he doesn’t want to hurt me, and that if he is… i should walk away. but i really do want to see how he is doing due to his depressed state. a few days later my roommate and i went to his apartment and hung out, and he asked if i wanted to be “fuck buddies”. susani was in an relationship which was not working i meet another guy online talked for about a week or two before meet seem to get along ok was alot of physical chemistry between us and could make me lauth seemed nice meet a few times ended up having sex with him he know i had boyfriend explained situation to him that we was pretty much over for years and that we was like friends and that i was going to end it though meet up about 5 times before i managed to end with bf seemed still to get along ok but most times we meet up ended up having sex would go for odd walks,watch tv, kiss after sex etc talk abit seemed to be going ok still was asking if i dumped my bf yet and when said no i want to but it very hard to said i was a big chickens though i had ask him to meet up most of times and only talked to him on msn and if i would txt him he mostly txted me back. well it turns out that the guy is good friends with a member of my family and they were talking about me one day. when we came back to school, we hung out on that monday night and everything went back to normal. that break is now a break up because this new guy has caused me to loose all the feelings for the old guy.” and the truth is i am – “well yeah actually if i was to say im going on a date would you care? i have been pretty lucky in that my first dates with men usually result in second dates and so on. it’s essential that you understand that, so that you don’t make the same mistake again. isn’t it supposed to be a process or am i just fooling myself into believing something might still happen with this guy? is where i’m confused…am i just a booty call? he’s even looking for some extra jobs now (i hope i didn’t get him all bankrupt) and wants to take me to a place i promised my granddad i’ll visit (far far, expensive expensive)… he wants to get a bigger flat as well for some reason. i don’t know what i should do, or how i should feel. you like him, of course you want him to be interested, and his interest seems to be waning. a month ago i met this great guy on a dating website and today we went on our 4th date. except this time i put my hands down his shorts. since then, he has been texting me consistently every day, showing a complete interest in my life, wanting to know everything thats going on, shows concern for my kids, sends me pictures of his kids and little projects they are working on around the house. another such example was last night when i left my facebook on his computer and he took my account, and commented on some girl’s insomnia-related status that “thank god i had *** to help me sleep, he is such a nice guy – you need to text me about this :p” … i’m not even sure how to react to that, he said it was just a joke but honestly, it seems he wants everyone to know that we are “together”. we’re mostly just having sex, but he invited me over earlier, had food together, hung out etc (and obviously sex as well). be honest im not even sure how i feel about him romantically.. he isn’t afraid to sing in the car with you, no matter how bad he is. he has been bad about contacting everyone lately, but i said that i wanted to be important. and he’s not supposed to care about me after about 5-6 yrs? i haven’t liked this guy as much in ages. i sat down on the bed and eventually leaned back so that my hand was touching the legs of one of the guys. they’re far more interested in investing their effort into sexual relationships.. he doesnt want to be with in public but pretty much every one knows we are hooking up and our friends know about each other as well. the next day he went back home and now things have gone completely way out of hand,he is sending me videos,romantic love songs,calling me 3 times in a day,even more wanting to know where i am or my plans for a day and he is trying so bad to know more about my family but in a cleaver way and everytime i changed the subject he finds a way to sink me in into it again. move on and give someone else a chance, someone who likes you and wants to be with you. i see six questions here that i have not yet answered. unlike many of the posts on this blog, i think this actually has some overall rules. he said it’s ok, so i would take him at his word. he responded a little later writing back excitedly that i wrote him and he wanted to see how i was doing and all that. my friend encouraged me to email him just making simple conversation and he responded back pretty much telling me he noticed me and wanted to hang [email protected] was in an relationship which was not working i meet another guy online talked for about a week or two before meet seem to get along ok was alot of physical chemistry between us and could make me lauth seemed nice meet a few times ended up having sex with him he know i had boyfriend explained situation to him that we was pretty much over for years and that we was like friends and that i was going to end iti think he’s just after sex.. there’s something unfortunate (and perhaps unfair) that the person who feels more gets blamed. i showed hesitency just because the situation to me is weird but whatever.. he plans to go to medical school, which means 7 years, during which a relationship would be a total pain in the ass. sometimes we stay in and watch movies, but other than that there has never been purposeless hanging out, but other than that for all intents and purposes he pretty much acts like my boyfriend. i liked him enough that i would have worked with it & keep trying with him, but after that we never talked about it and he wanted to stop hooking up- i got the impression he was discouraged. it’s clear you’ve been anxious about this almost from the start – that’s a drain of emotional energy that is just not healthy.! but seriously, this highlights how men and women view marriage in radically different ways. we texted back and forth almost every day for the whole break (2wk). i never say that, so he called me like 2 minutes later knowing something was wrong., i have read a lot of your posts and seems as though hook up situations can be very confusing lol. another analogy…my tomato plant seedlings are buried under soil. you played the odds, the dice rolled as expected (i. is a strange story – basically i would say that he has not done anything to indicate that he would be a good boyfriend, or be good in a relationship. i’ve had opportunities to be in relationships with other men, committed ones, but i’ve all but chased them away because they don’t compare to him. in a sad way, not “damn, there goes my piece of ass” kinda way., well similar situations to all really, been seeing this guy for a couple of months, we nearly always have sex. i took it and me and the guy have now been exclusive for three weeks… best three weeks of my life to be honest. also mentioned to me that he can’t tolerate cheaters because both wives cheated on him and he caught them in the act. i’m assuming this is the whole friends with bennifits deal?! i figured it helps me to write about it to try and get it clear in my head but then again maybe i am just deluding myself. she saw me and him together once and he was upset she saw me. went to see him with the strength to not hook up with him and i fell week and we did. at this point (about august that year) he still had not asked me out or anything. language, and many so called 'dating rituals' here are to me most peculiar, to say it kindly. i responded just saying that i saw it and i enjoyed reading it and glad he was doing well. months ago i was told by a man who also works there and who has been friendly, kind and very helpful to me whenever i had asked for help, that he actually has been very attracted to me ever since he met me. he doesn’t seem to care, because he doesn’t care. would advise you to take a deep breath, there’s a good chance he’s going through all the same anxieties, wondering if he came on too strong with cuddling-style behavior, etc. i said all was fine and that i really liked him and the “relationship” we have at the moment is great. he finally responded telling me he didn’t want to hold me back and that he really wasn’t making sure i wasn’t with anyone, that he was just asking (which i don’t believe because he got jealous angry when i brought up the last guy, which wasn’t even a big deal to me).” obviously, not everyone is comfortable plastering their relationships all over twitter, instagram, and facebook. 8 months ago i started working (non-official capacity) in a law enforcement agency in a large metro area which i enjoyed immensely. given your anxiety and “crushing,” you don’t seem comfortable with the fwb arrangement either. he cared about whether i was having a good time or not (whereas before it just was so long as he was happy, hah) and for the first time he stayed all night and slept beside me all cuddly. if he really had respected me and had feelings for me wouldn’t that question not make [email protected]’s clear that this guy loves to flirt and enjoys interacting with a variety of women. after that i will close comments and give instructions for contacting me. unfortunately, for a lot of guys, that’s not what the booty-call relationship entails. he was a complete sweetheart and as he was going he talked about some stuff we could do together and i asked if that lune always worked for him, and he laughed, said he was serious but wasn’t looking fir “a girlfriend or wife or anything). prior to that we were talking about the local bar at school. it may signal a desire for something more, or it may be his idea of heaven just as it is. who wants to hang out with someone they don’t like sober? should i bring up the topic or just go with the flow and see what happens? the sex problem between my husband and i never found resolution. it got my attention and reminded me of how it used to be. i’m just not sure if i fit in his schedule “literally.” what’s not ok is to blame or rage at him for it, more on that later…. the sooner you can cut yourself loose from any contact at all with him, the sooner you will feel open to meet someone who might be emotionally available. but we were hanging out too much, too soon, multiple times a week. to add, he told me i’m everything he likes in a woman and called me beautiful. i said,am new to casual dating so i cant tell the difference at all. so now i feel like i’ve had my heart cut up into pieces, although technically i am not in love with him…his first and only relationship lasted 5 months but everything progressed really fast until it hit the wall and fell apart. and the age difference is pretty large at your age. he has warned you multiple times not to get too attached to him. for inconveniencing the other person by withdrawing access to easy sex. later that night, when he was drunk at bars, he said he didn’t know what to say, but he was sitting rereading it drunk and he would text me the next day. i don’t think i’m really ready for a serious relationship but am not real good at this “hooking up” thing. the only problem is now that i don’t have a bf i am developing feelings for him or at least am able to act on feelings i had but i am not sure how he feels. well later on that night he was texting me to tell me lets do something on sunday i said ok.’m sorry, but if you expressed your confusion and he did not say anything, i’m afraid you have your answer. i’ve heard of women doing a 180 when the good guy friend walked, by the way. he tells me that sex isn’t the only reason he likes me, and thinks i’m a good person. you’re already in deep, so you owe it to yourself to clarify this asap., i have been hanging out with this guy for about a month now. my girl friends often complain about guys that act like that very early on. we got in a fight about how we weren’t close anymore in january, but things returned to civil by early february. the first day i met him there, he kept staring at me in an infatuated way, which was weird i thought. he made me feel like he really likes me and he knows i like him and i don’t understand why he is acting the way he is. you’re young at 24 but you shouldn’t even consider spending a year or two with this guy if he’s not ready for something serious. don’t really know because he never told me about her. the next day was a weekend,i didnt have any plans so was he and he asked me to come over again but in the morning which it surprised me but hey………i said what the hell so i went for it and things were different. he would get upset every time my phone went off, and kept asking me questions about how i feel about my ex, trying to make sure that we were definitely over. that suggests you ask him directly what's going on and he is evasive. i told him it’d give us a chance to become proper friends and he seemed to like the idea. sounds like a classic case of a guy who’s been burned bigtime, and may want to date a woman but a full-blown integrated relationship is going to be a long-range project for him.” i think you pretty much know where you stand, whether or not you want to. he said that before he even met me he wanted to be single for awhile. if he is into hook ups, and has done so in the past, why am i any different? so i don’t think he is seeing anyone else. he gave me a rather vague and useless answer which i cant even remember. i became so confused but still didn’t do anything or talk to him about things (i am very passive when it comes to relationships)i don’t know. on the other hand, he doesnt always call me when he says he will and his ex gf still calls him sometimes although he says he doesnt want to be with her. you don't have to say, i'm crazy about you, head over heels, but you do need to say, "hey, i want to know what you're thinking/feeling about this, because it's been on my mind. there is only one way to know, and that is to bring it up. according to him now, he hasn’t been with anyone for two months.: yeah kinda haha, come hang out if ur not busy:). anyway when he left all was fine etc……that was early hours sunday morning, i’ve not heard from him since execpt once, i text him and he replied saying he’d love to be with me (sexual conatation). i assume he still has one or two on the side, which he doesn’t really tell me about, as he says its not important. i talked to him two or three times and he was still keeping up with his celibacy. that night he finally kissed me and it just felt so wonderful. i always thought he was cute so i said maybe with a smiley. when we stepped outside that night he kissed me for no reason, and when i asked he just said ” because i wanted to. i really like him a lot, just he seems close to perfect in my opinion. i still like him, but i’m not sure if i should talk to him again or if i was really just a one time thing for him. the first time we hung out we just took a walk and talked.: just chilling out in my dorm for now haha what are you up to? i messaged him and called him once and he didn’t answer, so i just went out without him. so i keep my options open and kick myself in the head hahaha. he thinks about me everyday and really misses me when we dont get the chance to catch up but its ok cos when we do its so much better.“phone or not, i would think if he hadn’t lost that comfort, and if he was really interested in me, he would be calling even if from a pay phone. no i dont first time i cheated on bf or anyone had been having problems for like 5 years tried to talk about it went on same way can understand where you are coming from and i did feel so bad about the way it ended should not have did what i did but thanks for your reply.’re both looking forward to when i get back to his city on business in a week…. you can’t get serious reassurance from this guy very soon, in the form of his trying hard to be in a relationship, my advice is to walk. a year after we became friends we had out first kiss and it was perfect. also, the last time that i saw him, i told him that i needed to leave at a certain time. advice is to stop playing games and trying to pretend something you’re not feeling – being “just friends. i met with no response, so why’d he ask me then? he told me that he didn’t know if he could give me much at the moment because he just got a new job in a different state and is graduating so he is freaking out about life. after that, we still texted often; maybe i was paranoid but i got mad if he didn’t not text me everyday. desperately want to be in a relationship and to be loved and to love this guy that i am seeing at university myself.: haha night 🙂the next night he texted me asking if u wanted to hang out, i went and hung out with him and his roommates at 8:30 (his roommates are really nice and cool) and then the two of us hung out by ourselves in his room 10 till 12, talking at first, watching a movie, and then the night ended with us making out for the first time. which is why he took steps to prepare for it. tell him you have feelings and ask him about what he feels! think of it like sweating out a particularly nasty virus. he kissed me goodbye a few times deeply before he got out., i don’t need advice or anything but i just would like to say that i read a lot of these comments and this article is really good. i am rather confused about the whole thing since i have the feeling he desires me sexually only.( we are neighbors btw) so i normally see this guy almost every other day and not on the weekends. we were on and off the past year i know on one of our off times i had another guy(b) im pretty sure he(a) was jelous of this one(b).. he texts you the morning after your first hookup to let you know what a great time he had. i understood and we hooked up but at the same time it didn’t feel like just a hook up. and if it’s the former, how will that work living in two separate countries? so the whole relationship was kinda not there, it was a mutual break up, even though i was really sad about it, and really liked him by that time. a college man will not play to the idea he’s supposed to generate the social life for his girl, you need to bring him into your life as much as the other way around. i told him i had a one night stand in another country with some guy i met while traveling, no big deal, i thought, but i told him because he wanted to know if i was with anyone while he had been gone. and he wants to be able to talk to you about it. well that first weekend we ended up sleeping together and he made it clear he wasn’t interested in me bc he started hooking up with another girl in our class. unless he has specifically stated that he wants something different this time, i think you can assume he’s recycling the old deal. and as i said, i think this is extremely disrespectful to your ex. is very complicated, and most people are not cut out for it. if he comes around with concrete, tangible interest and follows through, then you can think about what it means.
10 Signs That Your Hookup is Falling For You * Hooking Up Smarthe got jealous mad and told me he wanted to beat the guy up (just figurately, of course! anyway, come around march, his girlfriend had cheated on him with some douche. still, that week i got a few questionable texts, again hinting that he may have deeper feelings for me. i had planned to keep it totally casual and fun, and just get to know him more. ive met a guy, it started out as friends with benefits. the research shows is that early sex is not a barrier to a relationship if both parties went into it interested in a relationship.’ve spent a lot of time on this guy, and i encourage you to stop right now and realize nothng will ever come of it. the whole summer i was mostly thinking about him and skeptical about all the times we was in school and looked on random sights about signs of him liking me and they seem to match. that seems disrespectful to me, unless he’s made it clear he doesn’t mind. we go to the movies, dinner or the occasional movie night at his place.” if a man is name-dropping or discussing other women with you, whether he’s admitting to dating them or not, run. one night we were making out and i got scared that he might think this is just a hook up. at the start of july on a night out (we hang out at the same places so we always bump in to each other), i threw caution to the wind and tried to kiss him. if you act as though you’re down for being the booty-call, then darlin’, unless this man loves you like noah loved allie, you will be the booty-call. i don't know if i should feel like shit because he turned to me as soon as he started having sex again, or flattered. as the years went on he had his gf who for some reason unknown to me hated me from the beginning. i met this guy that came into my work, and we talked for a while, went back to his house, he cooked dinner, and we just talked the whole night, the night ended with a kiss and nothing else. felt like i had soo many questions and decided to send him an email basically telling him that what i wrote before wasn’t what i meant and what i meant was that i enjoyed our friendship before and i realize that i can’t do the in between because i can’t handle it and i have feelings. i asked what, since he seems to be so inexpressive. do you think it’s now just a booty call or something more for him? are both under 30, i’m dating other guys as well and i assume he sees other women. he took me to a movie, and ever since march we’ve been talking nearly every single day. a few weekends later we ran into each other at the bar again and all we did was just talk about where we went to school back home and got to know each other a little more, no dancing or anything that night. two, he was looking forward to / excited for your arrival. his best friend invited me for his leaving dinner tomorrow, i won’t go as it wasn’t him that invited me and now i think i’m not the one for him, feeling quite unhappy and planning not to see him. i first met him i asked him what he was looking for, he said: “im looking for a potential relationship but i want to start as friends first to make sure we get along”. i told him and he told me to move on without him being more than just a friend. then a few weeks later, i saw him at a music event again, he was very interested, we talked just for a bit and i could feel that he was watching me whole night. we talked before, even had a normal conversation during the intimacy! don’t hold back, but make it clear you’re not trying to pressure him. we share the same political and (non-)religious beliefs and we both love movies and books and have similar backgrounds, etc. we all ate dinner and at this point daughter and i have bonded quite well. as to the texting, i don’t think wanting to talk on the phone is needy, but obviously his mode of communication isn’t phone chat right now. are fine and well, but charm alone does not carry enough weight. so i told him to call me or text me anything he wanted if he needed someone to talk to. but i don’t know if it’s just wishful thinking on my part. a college guy friend whom i have known for 5 + years and i have been flirting our entire friendship. he claimed eve his mother ans brother cant underatand it, but that space is sometimes required. i’m so confused but really feel that there is something there between us. we just sat and watched tv for a few hours. i do wonder how the ex feels about you getting tight with his friend. he has told me that he isn’t ready for a relationship. but if he can’t seem to walk with you without walking at an abnormally brisk pace, standing 20 ft. like there’s no one in the room but me, and after the party is over we usually, shamefully i’ll say it, end up sleeping together. people in susan’s generation used to do that, “necking” and whatnot and it didn’t hurt anybody. i am going to riff on your words and what they mean to men (e.!i have a looong story that i need to get off my chest! and the other day he made a comment about his friends and refer to me as his girlfriend (this was the first time he use the word “girlfriend”)so what do you think? i said i was cool with it but that i did really like him and think that it would be nice if we spent time together getting to know each other but that would happen the longer what we are doing continues as its inevitable, he said he felt bad about what was happening and just wanted to make sure i was ok about it. in the beginning we both agreed we didn’t want a relationship, that we would just stay friends. a month ago now i was at a friends house really late, it was 3am. he suggested going somewhere more private – was he hoping to have sex? for you for vocalizing your feelings, something many people can’t or won’t do because they are too afraid to face the action that might have to follow from the discussion. my only concern was the age difference with me being a very mature 26 year old and him being 23 but i figured what the heck why not give it a shot. he told me that i had already said otherwise and now he wanted to see things out with her. i responded just saying that i saw it and i enjoyed reading it and glad he was doing well. they can enjoy a woman, feel fond of her, feel strongly attracted to her, and still not want a commitment of any kind. do i ask him about all of these strange signals? there are only three things that bother in all this: 1) he’s always afraid we’ll walk into someone we work with and they’ll discover our litte thing. you don’t have to say you are not attracted, just that you have decided it’s not a good idea to pursue it. came back after graduating, about 2 years since my relationship ended, when i finally healed. felt like i had soo many questions and decided to send him an email basically telling him that what i wrote before wasn’t what i meant and what i meant was that i enjoyed our friendship before and i realize that i can’t do the in between because i can’t handle it and i have feelings. i thought he was a great guy, funny and nice. i met someone else and was in a realtionship for a few months and he didnt talk to me much during that time. i remember we had a really deep conversation about our lives and he actually asked questions like “why do you make out with me? need to have a sense of a man being actually thrilled about being with me and shows it. somehow the chemistry grew between us and we ended making out on my bday. i said he doesn’t have to feel bad about it as we are doing what we both find conveinient and we both enjoy each others company etc.) some of the things he did raised a red flad and i didn’t want to deal with it any longer so i actually told him that if we weren’t going to have a relationship, i wanted us to stop being intimate. i guess i just wanted to know but i should have waited.’m checking in on this very old thread, and i will answer all outstanding questions to the best of my ability. there’ve been some hints at a another potential activity together. shows of affection or sex do not mean he wants to get “committed. that night, he started to text me more and more and we hung out on a regular basis, like 4 times a week. he sent me a friend request on fb, which i accepted. all started about a month ago we exchanged information and i eventually called him. we never even looked at each other in this type of way until after i was separated. so here’s my question…what are we doing then? i found this website i’m super confused at my current guy situation. talked alot about relationships in general, things that make them go wrong, our own past realtionships and why they went wrong etc and i feel that he is somehow feeling me out, seeing what i think about relationships, men, sex, commitment, longterm relationship changes etc, its like an interview or initaition as to whether or not i am suitable for the 100m sprint or the marathon. i kind of was expecting the worse, to not hear from him or see him again after having sex on the first date. i don’t know what i should do, or how i should feel. but the big problem and why i am now more confused is because he said he does not have time for a proper relationship (neither do i thats fine) that it would not be fair as he cannot commit the time to me or anyone else at the moment. i met some members of his family and it was obvious he had talked to them about me. there are other girls surrounded by him and he chooses to talk to me and i’m not even near him. he’ll bring me my favourite candy on a study date) he is territorial – much of his facebook has to do with me, which is more or less a public indicator of all the time we spend with each other (his ex has taken note 🙁 she has expressed her dislike at the situation – shes not over him) most importantly, if another guy starts flirting with me he will get concerned and interrogate (and plays it off humourously – “designed to elicit information” hits the nail on the head perfectly) i have a best guy friend at university who’s girlfriend happens to be my best friend back home (the three of us are really close) i have to convince my guy frequently that i dont have feelings for my best friend, and the one time that the two of them chatted with each other, my guy acted rather hostile to my best friend. i said yes i can’t do that and he got a little shocked and asked why not. and i just felt like it's not that he didn't want a girlfriend, he just didn't want me as his girlfriend and it's just so hard to wrap your head around something like that. sometimes he does or say things like that that makes me feel like im his gf then other times he doesn’t. he would sometimes talk about his frustration with his backa nd forth ex, which i really couldn’t care less about. but, does it even matter if we are just friends with benefits? before thanksgiving time however, he stopped texting as much and would respond bluntly to anything i say like a simple “mkay,”so we hung out in his room and kissed friday, then saturday i initiated texting 5:00pm. on my last night as he was dropping me off at home he said “not to miss him too much”. i realized that day that i’ve never met anyone just so similar to me. if he still says he doesn’t want anything serious, and says to let him know if you decide you want to stop, then he is clearly signalling that he has no intention of making a commitment. and what i like that most is that he remembers everything i tell him about me. we spent a couple nights cuddling after hanging out with friends at his house. this is unfair to you if you would rather move forward! he may be content to continue on in this way as long as you’re both enjoying it, with zero commitment. i took that he was seeing if i would relocate. i also don’t want to be the one to ask, because there have been a couple times we discussed it (briefly) via text messaging, and he indicated that he “definitely likes sex with me, but also really enjoys hanging out with me. some of his friends were casually talking and they included me in their conversation right away. i can stroke it, run my fingers through it, bury my face in it, feel its light feathery touch on my penis, etc… but as much as i love hair, i don’t have to love the girl attached to the hair in order to love playing with the hair. i’m just sick of him going from fwb to friend to confusing. he is too, but let’s face it, a woman’s number carried more weight, and possible backlash, than a man’s. andrew was always an amazing shoulder to cry on and about 6 months later (november 2010), we ended up hooking up sober. may do all this hooking up and stuff, which is fine, but if they dont care about a girl, they are really making it harder on us and make us feel worse by playing with our emotions. he smiles at me when i look back at him and it makes me feel quite embarrased :o also after we have sex he wants to hold me and kiss me, he wants to make conversation afterwards also. he sounds very confident, so if he is interested he will pursue. if he wants to make the commitment, that this is something real and serious, and that you are going to be in each other’s lives, you will embark on a whole new relationship that should include a lot more than being in bed together. i just don’t feel like he fits the list at all. school started and he seemed angry with almost as if he held some type of grudge. he makes allusions to us being together (well, hanging out) in the future, but still it’s unclear.? it’s very confusing and it’s not fair to send such mixed signals. men often enjoy spending time with women, being affectionate, cooking meals together, etc. then you can make an informed decision about what you want to do. with physical intimacy preceding emotional intimacy, it can feel like no man’s land. saying you’re not dtf is ok, that’s good boundary-setting, but if you’ve known him for a month you should know whether you want to kiss him or not. i was kind of doing it for fun at the beginning. he tells me that he likes me a whole lot all the time.. he doesn’t mind lending you clothes to sleep in, and doesn’t immediately ask for them back. his friends call him a manwhore, he probably is one, b/c guys usually have each other’s backs on that in front of girls. there are very, very few women who can pull that off, and it’s clear you like him. a guy looking to get laid is not right for you. but the catch is, my ex boyfriend was abusive and i wanted out. he is an upper classmen and has been heartbroken by a girl that he was with for a few years so i dont know if he likes me or if he is trying to play me. long story short, he comes over, we talk and have great conversation and eventually hook up. we share alot of the same interests, but i don't quite understand his angle or what he wants. he even admitted like he felt he loved me (in which i rationally just thought was cute, but didn’t buy cuz it was too soon).,i’m going to go in a bit different direction from susan, from the man’s perspective. just be careful about who else he may be pursuing at the same time. this time, we were touching foreheads for a good minute and even eskimo kissed afterwards. i want him to be into me more than that… i can see him as a future boyfriend or something serious. online dating is great, but there is a lot of rejection involved. well, i’ve been seeing this guy for about 6 weeks, and i’m getting mixed signals (probably giving them too! before we went on break he invited me to come stay the break with him but i couldn’t. in one way or another we maintain some kind of contact when we are not physically together. he asked if it was okay, and i joked that it was only because i hadn’t conquered this room yet. from what i know he is a very or used to be a rather promiscuous men who “likes variety”. and he started calling me baby and sweetie again in the past few days some thing which he stopped before until i tried to end it. i know sporadically through the years he has asked me things like “would i relocate/leave my area?) he mentioned it again before he left, and was still being very sweet and kissed me goodnight. you can’t afford to keep doing what you are doing and hope for the best. this was my 2nd time ever having sex and i seem to have a very unusual problem. we both agree we’ve never felt anything quite like it; open, comfortable, and passionate. i stick with it because, the sex is good and i don’t want a relationship and i don’t see one happening with him. i asked him if its because he just wants to hook up with other girls he said no he just wants to mingle. i suggested that maybe we should hang again sometime after i get back. i moved away and changed my nuimbers and deleted his so i couldnt contact him and he couldnt contact me. know he likes me but how can i tell if wants me for something serious or just fling? i arrive at the bar to find him there flirting with other girls.. this guy sounds like he is all over the place. real problem with fwb is that no matter what rational boundaries are set, the hindbrain does what it wants, and odds are somebody’s going to want more. my problem is he seems to be giving me mixed signals, because we have such a clear communication on what is best for our situatuation, but he is acting and treating me differently than just a hook up. always makes little comments about how he wants to take me to some restaurant or place he likes or how we are spending more time together. we get a long really well and i watch his two adorable kids for him sometimes. and it looks like he isn’t keeping up anymore with his online journal and almost like he’s disappeared. boy a and i talked a few times, and my boyfriend and i even ran into him at a concert once. thing is, i don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling about me., it sounds like the two of you are close, and there's a lot of good stuff happening between you, but you're not sure where you stand. and don’t even go down that road unless you feel certain he feels the same way. recently found and started talking to my first love after not seeing or talking to him for 20 yrs we have been communicating via text and phone calls for over a month, he lives about 2-3 hours away from me. he pursued me alot and made his actions very strongly that he liked me and was into me and i was confused because he was still involved with her. he texts me and we talk for hours about his job and his life we talk about my figure skating ( i figure skate) and all kinds of things it will get sexual for a few texts then we are back to talking about each others lives. i obliged, and told him i went back to my long term ex bc i changed my mind about relationships and would rather be in one. i still have feelings for him so i feel/act a little weird when he is around. he was an absolute wreck after that night they officially ended things. however: i had a guy friend visiting from australia, who he didn’t get along with.. how do i tell if he just wants to kiss or is genuinely interested? this is highly unprofessional, and you could be legally liable for sexual harrassment. now, to be fair, over time, i have realized that i have sent him some unconscious signals that have apparently led him to believe that i am interested– that’s my fault, because even though i know he’s not right for me, i am still physically attracted to him; but like i said, i have been ignoring him for quite some time now, and he will not give up. but anyway, i know he’s into me, but when i asked him what he considers us yesterday he didn’t really know. he shows some of this signs but mmmm still not convince. i would like him to love me, because love doesn’t exist and i tried everything that does…:). time you have sex with a guy and then a few days pass with no word you have your answer: no relationship. when i say i've seen how he looks at me i mean i see longing, like he wants to get closer but something is holding him back. love to yield to a man, but i am now so much more discriminating to whom i would yield. he’s definitely not your conventional guy, and not up for titles..Do you think i should ask him why he is not making move or if he just sees me as a friend? i’m not worried about the age difference at all, but a guy that age is unlikely to want a serious commitment, especially if it involves the lives of three children. he’s good-looking and charming so i thought why not. Take this test to see if a guy is interested in you for a hookup or more., keeps rushing into my life as soon as he feels that i am settling back into my world with my husband. that make me doubt:-he still tells me he isn’t ready for commitment (i know you’re set on the idea that if they don’t want to commit, they never will… but i feel like he will get there when he’s had time to recover. if he is not interested in a relationship, the sooner you learn that the better. that is not (as this rxxxx poster on some other tread on this site) me refusing or denying something against a man, but it is for me…. and you are right, i don’t want to make the decision myself.)but what even feels better than that is the sense finally being able to trust my choices with men. so after a month of things being like that with us and being kind of strained…i find out that i am pregnant…which was a total shock .-the look in his eyes when he looks at me is always so intense, as if he wants to say he loves me. so off to work i went and he texts me asking me back over. it sounds like the two of you are not compatible, or it would have worked the first time. i've seen the way he looks at me, but i dont understand? kinda gave me an explanation as to why he didnt want to have sex. also, no woman lost interest in a guy for not initiating sex right away unless she was just looking for something casual. the contact has been pretty even between us, though we go a day or two without talking sometimes. if he does, then you can move forward and stop worrying. i know i can’t but i said ok so i don’t discourage him. would he not want to define the relationship if i meant something more to him than just a companion and someone to kill time with? and then he is shamed as a “bad friend” and told it’s “unfair” that she loses him, as if she’s the only one who should get to decide the terms of the relationship and whether it exists at all. i encourage you to lay it out for him and see where his head is. we are both in our 30s, and i am falling for him more and more and i believe he is the one for me but i dont see any move from his side. i found out it was because his ex girlfriend came back on the scene and he just cut me off without any explanation.. but im afraid to ask my friends about it bc i feel like they are judging me for kissing him/making out wednesday night and him not being my boyfriend. very, very few men under 25 are looking to get serious, and the fact that this guy is newly single after a long period means that he is likely to want a lot of sexual variety. we have been talking every day since (its been about a week) and i would normally be really excited, however he “kind of” has a girlfriend.” being honest about your emotions is the first step to resolving things. i want it to play out differently, but dont know how…confusedcheika. i don’t know what i should do/ how i should act when i see him. assuming you’re young, say between 18 and 22, i would say it’s highly unlikely you’re going to flip a player for any period of time. course, it would be prudent to keep your own expectations in check. don’t you want a relationship with someone who makes your relationship a priority? of course, i take medicine for depression and anxiety as well. reason we haven’t had the talk is that i am a little shy towards him. he flirts with other girls in front of me but doesn't like it when i hang out with other guys? need to understand something – this is important: it does not matter if he kisses the tip of your nose, your eyelids, stares at you while you sleep, strokes your hair, spoons, cuddles, says i love you once while drunk. completely understand, and he has to take it slow…but i am scared. tell him that you think he could be a very important person in your life, and that you are willing to give him time. he told me he is very good at compartamentalizing things and im not sure of the extent to which he does so with me.. your man) and be frank, although you can still be anna. so i say i’m housesitting and could use some company, and he says he’d love to and maybe keep me company all weekend.. what should my course of action be, at the end of the night when she kissed me we agreed we would see each other wednesday, since she will be busy for the rest of the weekend since she has another midterm tomorrow. we’ve always been very flirty but i was married and he had a girlfriend who he ended up having a child with. the reason he had was a good one (major crisis between the ex and the teenager and he negotiating or whatnot; so the teen is back living with him).“i truly like him, but i act a bit untamed at times”. so sometimes i don’t know what to make of him and psych myself out; how much do i like him? i told him to tell me the truth, even if it hurts, and it took him awhile to respond back, i’m guessing either he put it to the side because i blew it and he didn’t care or because he was trying to figure out what to say. during this time he talked about his strong feelings for me, how amazing i am, etc. susan,so i met a guy a couple months ago and we had been talking regularly for about a month. uncomfortable as it will be for you, i think you deserve to know what’s going on and i think you will have to ask. all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye i notice this guy.– intertwines his fingers with mine as we spoon to fall asleep.” when i say yes (jokingly) he looks so very disappointed. my life has been a train wreck for the past 3 years now, but i love a. he would show up at the bars i was going to, come into rooms i was hanging out in at the fraternity, or appear next to me on the dance floor. so, lets hope it’s for that and not for my flight tickets….! and i have to admit that im shy around him too, i get really nervous! but i am begginning to fall for him and i want to see if we are on the same page. well, the longest we went without talking was 2 days and he would text me but after we started having sex, his talk mostly consisted of sex; but other than that, he was always nice to me. we never actually dated, probably because he is two years younger than me so i felt weird about it or something. so i texted her about a party i knew about the next night and she agreed right away to go excitedly. your own behavior strikes me as irresponsible and shady as well – have you thought about the effect of all of this on the daughter? first “date” consisted of me going to his house and he made me soup.” now, a man may not giggle and point at his phone when showing you off to his friends. thanks for posting this site – i’ve been reading up on a ton of info on the web as this is my first fwb arrangement (i’m 28! i told him i liked him, and it blew up in my face. he still doesn’t talk to me as much as before (neither do i).“im concerned bc it seems like now we never go on dates, just hang out on campus or in his room at night. clearly you need to know the whole story, and you’re in the unfortunate position of having to ask him for more details, which feels like pressuring him, or waiting and wondering until he makes another move.’s totally fallen for you, he’s head over heels.. not in your favor), you’re allowed to feel [email protected] problem is, many guys can enjoy a woman’s company, think she’s great, even feel a lot of affection. this is your opportunity to roll with it or shut it down. the two of you should spend plenty of time doing other things before you try for sexual intercourse. know this forum is intended for girls, but i feel that you could probably help shed some light on my situation. as your flow chart points out, this will most likely end in a “date” or “dumped” conclusion. so, that we should just stop hooking up and be friends. i have been “hanging out” with this guy lately that i am crazy about. if you want to do that for yourself, i think that’s great, but don’t do it because he tells you to. and don’t have sex with him until you’re sure about that. it sounds like he’s just not eager to ramp up quickly into the day-to-day obligations of a hardcore ltr. and for a few weeks we avoided eye contact when it unspokenly stopped. if he is looking to date casually and not let it get any more serious, then he’s happy as can be with the status quo. i was touching him (down there) and he told me to stop. the things that got me worried were that we talked a lot about sex (he said that it showed attraction); and we did not hang out as much recently ( he said that because he always had to close in the weekend at 10:30 and when we did, there was not much to do), and that he wasn’t attentive enough since sometimes he didn’t text me for 2 days ( and he said that he was too busy with everything going on. here is the kicker…he made it clear he is emotionally unavailable for a relationship right now. these are just some of the things that confuse me since we are only fwb. we broke things off, he remained very friendly and i was also.” lay your cards on the table, and see what happens.
Why you should not online date
It's Gettin' Serious: 9 Telltale Signs Your Hookup is More Than Just a in august i went to see him again but things went wrong and in september things started to go really bad. the fwb code reframes that person as “in the wrong” for breaking the agreement, but it’s an agreement that can’t be legislated so to speak. and to answer your question i do like this guy.”), entry into an “adult” lifestyle, material security, and obviously the marker of maternal legitimacy. then he told a guy in his house he could ask me out, but told me not to go., later he was glued to my side and very touching, caressing, and just very attentive to me. he’s ashamed to be seen with you but not ashamed to have sex with you? i would like to try and talk to him over the weekend to find out how he really feels but not sure how to do this or even if any of this means more than just fb. i told him i am confused about our relationship but he did not say anything. two of his friends that i know of, know of me. patrick's day while he was under the influence of several different intoxicants.. he isn’t afraid to show you pda when you’re out in public. what’s not ok is to misandrate him or blame him for your emotions, because that only says that he doesn’t deserve his own wants and needs, he should just serve yours. said that’s fine, because deep down, i’m not the type to push people to doing things and i am a firm believer in letting things just happen. he kept saying how turned on he was and how amazing it was. can't be using you if he isn't trying to get sex. which he always really wants to assure me that nothing will happen again. how does he feel about your having kids, and potentially being a part of their lives? he has been a serial monogamist in the past (as i used to be as well so i understand). if you act like something to be “tamed,” he will be bored once he tames you. you cannot be friends, you cannot have buddy sex, nothing. who has known us since the beginning says there’s no way he doesn’t have feelings and that it’s obviously not about the sex if he rarely makes a move even though we see each other a few times a week. we are still talking basically every day, even when im not in town for the weekend we talk on the phone at least once or twice and text also, we are hanging out during the week we went to happy hour one week with his friends and just him and i got food after, i brought him cupcakes for his birthday the other week and just the two of us hungout, on the weekends we will meet up to get food after going out (or sometimes we will go out together it just depends) and then i usually end up staying there and we have started having sex again. i hadn’t been with a man in over 3 years, in fact, my last relationship was with a woman. if you’re confused and you’re living it, you can imagine how i must feel.. he gets very excited to show you something he loves and is passionate about because he wants you to be excited about it, too. what is confusing me is the fact that his friends always tease him about his past girlfriends whenever i walk into the house, or tease him that he hooked up with another girl. seems to try to break away from me every 4 weeks, but keeps coming back. get a text the next day asking how i am and then i hint at (did not offer/ask) a second visit, and he says he’ll call, which he did a few times to keep me up to date on where he was with his guy friends, all of whom were listening to him talk to me sweetly on the phone. we are still hanging out every weekend, i went to his place, i even met some of his friends when we went to a concert but still no kissing, holding hands, no sex, any of that. we still hung out after that until we ended up having a friends w/ benefits thing. perhaps because we didn’t have sex this has fallen apart…. recently, we have been spending quite a lot of time together, at least 3-4 times a week. met this guy 6 months ago, he and i constantly kept in touch every single day when i left the country and he told me towards the end how much he liked me, and ultimately one night texted me while drunk saying he was in love with me (we used to talk for hours every single day). i didn’t think he would last with her anyway so i wasn’t really worried but i guess i just didn’t bring it up to him or i just blocked it out.” he might say, “i have feelings for you” or he might say “it’s fun, but i’m not looking for anything more. i appreciate the effort he is taking to carve himself a niche in my life. but i can’t continue feeling so insecure, and withholding my feelings. after i said that, it looked like i broke his heart. of our mutual friends is a guy i’ve known for years. this may have played itself out by now, but in general i tell women that if you have to wonder if a guy likes you, he doesn’t. we started off as fwb but his gut obviously deceived him. when they accuse him of hooking up with another girl he explains to me that thats not what happened, that he didnt do that..as such, hope you can help me with my little problem. i am sure that i am not the only who felt this i am sure he did too. all, well i have story for anyone is interested and maybe help me out, i’ve never been in this situation before i’m 24 and the guy is 31, well we met 6 months ago, we get along great, good chemistry and we hook up here and there in the beginning we like each other. once when we were in bed he said ” i love so much of you,” but we haven’t said the l word. i know he has dated girls but from what i understand, they were all long distance relationships. when i tried to end things he called me 15 or more times till i picked up crying saying he couldnt be without me in his life and that if i stop talking to him he will never be even friends with me and cut me off because thats the only way he could get over me. however this exchange program will end in an year and he and i will go our separate ways to half way across the world. if you could call the shots, knowing he was willing, what would you ask for? susan,i met a guy at a party a few weeks ago, and recently we’ve been chatting online.,“he has told me of that’s all he wanted he wouldn’t have stuck around for awhole year. you’d hope some guys would have the decency to support you just out of the kindness of their heart. he texted the next day, called within two days and asked to meet again, we have been going out every weekend and all dates felt exactly the same. i dont even know if the reason really was the girl. i’ve been seeing a guy for almost 5 months now. you do need to make sure there isn’t a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, though. on the other hand, if he likes you and is feeling a bit shy or awkward, then your talking to him gives him an opportunity to respond positively and make that clear. now i knw he dsnt hav a qwerty keyboard and i knw i dnt annoy him cuz im chill but i like him. a year after that, i found him on a social site with mutual friends and i friend requested him..i forgot to mention that we waited a month or so into hanging out to have sex at all. j/k, just send some xxx’s my way; those can stay up here a lot longer than your fingers, haha!’ve been trying to let this go and i found your website and decided to just get it out one time in hopes of finally having some clarity! we havent been hooking up for long at all and im fine with the hooking up its fun for both of us. i’m sure i gave away everything on the first date… and blew it. we usually run into eacth other on hallways and in the cafeteria and he comes to my office for coffe and mate (a national drink here) and the like. it was like we both got scared and ran away to our comfort zones (the ex’s, and his ex would always be trying to talk to him from what i remember, and show she cared, i didnt really do that much =/ i didnt wanna be clingy). also think about whether you are capable of being anyone’s sex buddy without developing feelings – most women aren’t. if he doesn’t respond to your texts and emails, stop sending them! even if you’re not sure how it will play out, you obviously want to try and make a go of it, or you wouldn’t be worried about scaring him off. the first thing he said to me after hi was, so what happened? the whole, ‘i love you “heaps” ‘ thing is interesting to me. it was all good and in the end after his roommate he asked me to be his girlfriend. no one wants to rewatch a pilot with someone they don’t care about, especially because of the potential vulnerability and scrutiny associated with showing someone your favorite show. we like each other and he mentions he sees me as a friend but his actions says another. he has been super friendly sense and when i got us food and made sure it was spicy he said “that’s my girl. in february, he got a girlfriend and i was pissed. he doesn’t text or chat me, but when we see each other out in public he’ll acknowledge me, give me a hug and talk for a bit. he took me to dinner and invited me over for movies, and we basically had sex on the 5th day ( i made the first move). invites you to his son’s graduation – so he’s also been married before – and says he doesn’t want to share you. he finally brought up his family to me for the first time the last time i saw him, which he has never done that before (i loves his family dearly and are very close). we spend huge amounts of time together, i stay at his place for days on end, sometimes up to a week, he gave me his key to his apartment, we do everything together, including grocery shop and stupid “baby ad marriage jokes”.: guess this just means we need to see each other more often 🙂. he brought all the food and even brought me flowers. i told him i had feelings for him and might not be able to do this much longer or they’ll turn for the worst. his behavior has been unpredictable – and maybe he feels that you are hard to read too. he moved back to his parents house, just 8 hrs away from where i live and a few days later on new years eve/day, he spent hours just texting me and focusing on me while at a party when most people would be having fun and just partying the night away. he may find you attractive, but that doesn’t mean he wants to pursue a relationship.. he’s willing to re-watch a pilot for a series he’s already two seasons intoif he’s on season four of game of thrones, and he wants to watch the pilot with you, it isn’t because he’s so hype about this upcoming season (the hype is so real). these are not “mixed signals,” he’s been very upfront about what his actions mean and do not mean. you are concerned about things that you should be concerned about, and that is good, because you are unlikely to spend much time with a man who cannot deliver what you want. so that is why i haven’t talked to him..So we started dating a little after halloween, and i know he def likes me bc from the beginning, he made all the first moves, asking for my number, texting me, and asking me out. giving him an opportunity to feel comfortable and ready for another relationship. spend every weekend together (either he stays over or i do) and we say that we like the other person a lot, have mutually good sex (we’re both very physical), have met each other’s family, and he’s met my friends and made an effort to impress them. i would be totally honest with him – let him know that it’s not personal, you’re still healing from your breakup, and it will take a long time to build trust. i never brought up to him that i knew about the other girl he was with. we cook together, take walks, go to parties together, etc. we went shopping, had lunch, the whole nine yards and i paid for nothing. but over time he became more and more attractive to me. if you really do want nsa, the right thing to do is bump back on his behaviors and tell him they are inappropriate for an nsa “relationship. we rescheduled again for the last day of classes before thanksgiving break, and he cancelled on me again. i dont know what to do… should i just be patient and wait for him to contact me? don't talk much and when we do it's over social media. from the night before and breakfast without my knowing or prodding! the beginning it was kinda on and off, i stop talking to him for 3 weeks, i ignored his text messages until he called me and ask me for a second chance that he really miss me and wants to be with me so since that time its been steady. say you want love and partnership from this man, but it seems to me that he’s made it pretty clear he’s not offering either. i remember i was holding onto him and i didn’t want to leave., there is something very strange about a guy who does not like sex. i contacted him through text within the next few days. i don’t know whether you’re a rebound exactly – that depends in part on who initiated his recent breakup. no guy, no ex for that matter even, has made me feel so loved before, ironically. i thought he’d never contact me again and i didn’t care since after he invited me to go out, i said i didn’t want a relationship. you know you’re clingy, and he is asking for space, that’s fair, and would be better for you too. i would put it on hold and risk this opportunity if it was more clear this is heading towards something more. partial blame here goes to romcoms and other cultural tropes where a guy “wears down” a semi-unwilling woman with a nice guy beta-bonding script. you could tell him you like him as more than a [email protected] pawi’m sorry, that sounds like such a difficult situation. found out about his activity on match not through snooping or invading his privacy, but because you received an email that took you by surprise. please help i am mega confused by all this and thinking seriously of bailing completely on him for good. i have trouble talking about my feelings and think that maybe he does too. if i don’t heard from him in a couple of days, should i text him? the comprehensive guide to nyc's eataly flatirononly in nyc: guy tells random subway strangers they're "f*cking awesome"spring into action: 8 amazing april activities happening in nycget spoiled in your boxdaily digest of what's good in nycrecent postswe're screaming for this bubble tea ice creamdo you like scary movies? all relationships carry an element of risk, and you will only ruin things if you need answers too soon. i realized then that i don’t want to be that girl who gives years to a guy who decides late that she isn’t the right girl for him and leaves her and finds someone else., came into my life… i am so heartbroken, because i don’t know what a wants. i said no several times and he kept asking why until i finally told him i had had a bad experience with another guy in our building (whom he knows). my next question is this, should i cease communication with her by respecting her decision not to return my call? it was very slow and he wanted me on top a lot, kept pulling me closer to him, looking into my eyes, saying my name a lot, and holding my hands almost the entire time. he really is a wonderful person, and i would love to be in a relationship with him. hung out a couple more times and then, about two weeks ago he came into a room i was in with his friends studying. i asked why and he said because i was really cute and weird and stuff. when i post on facebook he comments things that imply that he think am attractive. i never brought up to him that i knew about the other girl he was with., i feel like making plans is usually up to him. i decided that i was ready to move on and meet different people. i think your chances of getting hurt are high here. i figured i should sit on my hands, tape my mouth, and wait! he asked me to stay over and we cuddled the rest of the night and even into the morning. it's very hard to know what is going on in his mind, and you also don't really say what you want. met up with a guy last weekend that i know casually from church. i do want love and partnership from this noncomformnist man. but since we dated for 3 years, i feel like i don’t even know how to date anymore. definitely sounds like he’s fallen for you, but be careful. i’ve already decided that i’m not going to contact him again, but that i’ll let him make the next move. so here’s my story…start off with i’m 24, the involved guy is 43… we attend school together and have for the past two years. but i wonder if he has feelings, misses me etc. he responded a little later writing back excitedly that i wrote him and he wanted to see how i was doing and all that. am stuck in a sticky situation susan and i just do not know what to think or act or do. things might go is irrelevant; right now you are not getting what you want out of the relationship, and in the process you are ceding control of your emotional and romantic life to him and his own fickle emotions. even when he’s asked don’t i trust him ive just gone quiet.'m okay with keeping things casual, a really serious relationship doesn't sound too appealing to me either at this point in my life, but i think i'm due at least the respect of exclusivity. i cried on his shoulder and eneded up in his [email protected] now you probably have your answer about what’s going on with this particular guy. when i talked to a guy that was a friend of both of ours he said he would talk to him about and see what he said..not so much the sex as much as the hunt. but several other friends’ comments have made me wonder if we are actually meant to be together, due simply to the fact that we’ve carried on for so long. sure, you can say “he knows it’s just sex and nothing more,” but you should be able to understand that once someone’s emotions start rolling the rational mind can’t make it stop. the summer holidays has kicked in and we are no longer near his ex, he has been better with me and he barely has mentioned his ex and we go out each week and enjoy eachothers company. he claims he hasn’t felt emotions for someone since his marriage, and that relationships generally do not work well with him since women he’s dated in the past can’t seem to understand/accept that work is his #1 priority and relationships fall below on the priority list. i just really don’t want to get into that discussion with him because i don’t know the answer. but now he has started saying that he misses me and can’t wait to spend time with me……………. i know you don’t want to waste your time, but it sounds like he needs more time, and that’s not surprising after only three weeks. he stopped me, introduced us, fixed us breakfast and told me he would like to see me “bond” with her if i was going to be “hanging around”. as i said he’s still texting but he seems almost to be hiding behind those texts where as before he was calling me and i him. but i bring it up because if your man is openly asserting his desire for sexual variety it’s going to be a long time or a lightning strike before he will work out that instinct to the point he’s comfortable with marital sexuality. susan i’m not sure if you are still answering post or not. i know he’s has a past of getting around with alot of other girls, but he doesn’t treat me like one of them. after three months, he is not ready for a relationship, i would end it. is going to school to become a doctor and is very driven. everything is good, he calls everyday, we see each other every week. if he was turned off by the fact that you’d prefer a relationship to casual sex, then he’s obviously a bad match, and better to learn that now than later. then i agreed to be friends with benefits again considering the one week relationship we had already brought so much tension and drama between us. we both were involved in some traveling afterward, and spent a month apart while continuing close contact through ld calls, emails, skype, you name it.“am i just fooling myself into believing something might still happen with this guy? that’s my fear because i don’t want to be the girl before the girl the guy marries. he will not fall in love if he has already decided not to. made plans to spend the entire day with me saturday and we did, nothing fancy, went to lunch and did a little shopping. he lived with 4 other guys and one night he got super drunk downtown and called me at like 2am for a ride.“i just don’t understand what is wrong with me since he apparently loves so many things about me yet wants nothing apart from spending time and bed. well he asked me out on a date, and we had sex that night. he then told me that he wanted me to find someone else and i told him i didn’t want anyone else. was away in europe for a couple months and he contacted me once, but i was super distant and he didn’t contact me again. i was gentlemanly at the time and said i understood and recieved a very passionate kiss outside her dorm but was left out in the cold with a major boner. through the duration of a couple hours he’d keep coming back to me to talk. afterward he made sure i was ok and if i wanted to go to bed. he has a pet name for me and seems to genuienely care about me…. asked me if i’d flashed my breasts at him…. over a year has gone by and he finally sends me an email, but he didn’t say anything, just sent me a link he wanted me to see about his experiences there.. also he always encourages me to meet other guys but if i do anything with any one else he gets so upset.” you’re having sex, you certainly have every right to understand what it means to each of you. i still acted pretty distant until early february (no handholding in public, less kissing, i didn’t let him spend a night). two days i didn’t hear from him and so began week 4. he’s never in my area so he should have just left me alone..I would very much appreciate your view and advice,love. sounds to me like it’s really not that big a deal. yet i’m feeling unsure about things, about what i want, and what he wants.. his failure to call when he had an emergency is inexcusable. finally when i was at the bar, the bartender was flirting with me and he came up behind me and said back off that i’m his girlfriend. he said he was fine with it but i could tell he really wanted to get close. i know i’m not that boring a person (right?, i don’t really understand it either, so i’m trying to safeguard myself and let it go. i just get somewhat offended when he does not answer, as it feels disrespecful, but i can clearly see he wants to rule the pace, perphaps to really get the idea whether this is worth or not rather than jumping into it. we live very close to eachother within an artist community and have mutual friends so came across at another event just near where i live (with other people), that evening he was with me all the time, asking lots of questions, we went to my place, he met my friends, then went out again, and then came back towards morning, after a very long chat, we had sex, he was very much affectionate, hugged and kissed me all the time, we had breakfast, a few hours later, met at a park nearby with also other friends, he was looking at my eyes constantly, i was thinking i was in a dream or something, which is unfortunately the case i guess. i want us to talk it out so that we can make sure we’re on the same page. yet, when he meet up at each others house to hook up he cuddles me constantly, tells me things like how his never been so comfortable with any one like this, strokes my hair, hugs me close when we fall asleep together and he doesnt hook up with any one else but me. it makes zero sense to even consider a move like that unless the two of you are in love and want to make your relationship a top priority. i think he’s made it very clear that he does not want a relationship, which puts you on the same page. then for the rest of the week he acted distant, not answering calls or texts, not wanting me to come over. but i don’t think this guy sounds like he has anything to offer. can’t really lay expectations on him that aren’t his style, that’s a form of nagging and will make him disappear. he always compliments me and will drop anything to do what i ask. in other words, don't move forward without him signaling a change of heart. anything at this point is better than what i can say to myself. right now all you’ve got is a sexual relationship. i am a manager and just before the break-up my ex convinced me to hire his friend. turned out to be the best date i’ve ever been on. for whatever reason, it didn’t work out, and you need to move on too. he got serious and said he wasn’t like him, and continued to ask if he could kiss me. i started seeing him out a lot more and we would often just chat and we got along really well. if you don’t know that, you’re taking a big risk. it's up to me to walk away and let the other be the way they are. you’ll learn whether that’s the case if you are friendly and he is unresponsive or just polite. we are the only ones that we are sleeping with so it is a mutally exclusive sex “relationship thing” (i don’t know what to call it. then right after that he went to her and went to her locker and he paid her attention and totally avoided me like i was nothing and it did hurt. you’ve known this man what must be half your life by now. kind of picked back up where we left off at. admire your strength – you know this is not a good situation for you. conduct is not okay, and i was stunned and it felt horrible.. he will call you just to tell you that you’re on his mind. in the beginning it was just sex and neither of us were particularly interested in helping the other. first of all i need to applaud you for your advice (and your flowchart)!-in front of my friends from work (one is a mutual friend), he hides his affection. remember, a guy’s showing affection, cuddling, talking for hours, etc. then came my birthday and she ended up staying after the small party i threw and we had sex.) i don’t really understand what your question is – it sounds like you don’t want to make the decision for yourself. about a week later he takes advantage of my offer. reason being is i have two little girls (4&6) and i’m about 8 years older than him. i was shocked (he really is a sweet guy, i wouldnt describe him as manipulative at all) and i gently told him that i wasnt interested in a relationship with him, just an optimal friends with benefits, and that perhaps it might be a good idea to space out our hookups/not text each other 24/7 and limit our affectionate tendencies in order for this to be more fwb-like. you need to let him know you are looking for more.’s another thing completely if he already has the food waiting when you get there. may just be a case of bad timing, in which case you might choose to generally slow things down and keep things friendly but not sexual. and he proposed that we stay friends because he will be gone and being in a relationship will distract him from the exchange program we’re in. recently he has been using the word “love” very often, ie. he use to give me looks like i was doing something wrong when i was near him. well, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. once he went away for a few days and told me he missed me. at the last minute, he decided he was starting to feel better and really wanted to see me.” for a lot of guys, support is reserved for girlfriends and good friends. if he doesn’t agree or tells you that he is unready/unsure if he wants to be in a relationship, you might just have to let it go. sort of evolved into an exclusive hook up before i knew it. and his words and his actions don't match up (ie i want to be single, but i'm going to treat you like my girlfriend)., i feel like im getting really mixed messages from this guy. he kisses me in front of friends, h loves meeting my mom, wants to meet my dad, etc.. when you kiss him goodnight he lingers for a moment or two. i don’t think he was saying that just to get me away. i spent most of the last 5 years doing the single thing, dating, sleeping around, etc, mostly because i had my own issues i needed to work out and i wasn’t ready for a real relationship i guess. my mind says no but my heart and soul tell me there’s something in this still. so we wrote back and forth and finally decided to hang out again. if by wanting to be with you, he means a full-blown relationship, you might agree to discuss it with him first and see if you both want the same thing. i really wanted to and i guess i couldn’t be tough about it anymore! if he is afraid, you will have already reassured him. however here is the problem we hookup 3-4 times a week and each time it is hours on end like 12 bc thats when he gets off work until like 4 p.” or he texts you to come over and says, “i’m wearing that cologne you like. we again hooked up but we still talked for hours still trying to ask me questions and figure me out. tell him how you feel and see if he feels the same way. we still emailed for the remainder of the 7 months before i got a surprise message from him after 7 months of emailing that he was back home for the holidays to visit and he wanted to see me so we made plans to see eachother and he drove down with a friend to stay with his other friend and make sure to see me. having kids makes the decision huge for both of you.
Signs He Wants To Date You, Not Just Hook Up With You Dating a newly divorced dad