Why Your Significant Other Is Still On Tinder
What Men Really Think About Using Tinder
my friend asked if i check to see if he had gotten on his profile, so i did, and that sunday night he had been on. it just doesn’t seem right to use a hookup/dating app when you are seeing me. i love him so much but it seems that he keeps making these promises that mean nothing. i tried to give it back last week and he told me to keep it. so i know he is not in it for the sex. after a while i replied & said that my friend had told me she’s seeing him. fortunately, things have been wonderful and things just keep getting better between us. on, my now boyfriend and i started dating and it was casual dating for both of us. we’ve had this dang conversation at least 4 or more times! i have dated my share of immature guys and he sound like one in my book. i feel like i maybe scared to trust him, cause i am just so tired of a heartbreaks. finally i asked him if he has talked to anyone on the site, and that’s when he got really angry that i don’t trust him. we can’t meet up often because we don’t have cars, so that plays an even bigger role in me worrying. would you be hurt if she did this to you and slyly hooked up with another guy?’ve been seeing this guy a little over 3 months now. question: do the same mechanics apply vice versa (woman continues to browse the onlinedating site)? just finished it on the assumption that he had had plenty long enough to decide if he liked me a little bit or not. since i feel that really good advice would require me to understand the relationship on some personal level, i can’t tell you exactly how to approach the situation.. i guess cos he doesnt want to be too attached? i sent one text on that first day, and one on the second day, and decided that was it. if he sent it that would be more concerning to me. also, he is seeking a long term relationship and he loves love as i do (from what he’s told me). i now realise that i never actually asked outright for any of them to take down their profile to be with me exclusively. the fact that you had to fight about it for weeks is a really bad sign too. half of the time i am the one to initiate the conversations even though he responds and we talk but he doesn’t really ask my a lot and also he doesn’t write much. i even told him i had to get his confirmation because i have trust issues with previous guys cheating on me. almost feel as if i am growing walls around my heart so i don’t come out……don’t people build walls to not let anyone in? i added however, i know he wouldn’t take advantage of my kindness, and that i want him to feel hugged and to stay safe and alert out there. he texted me as soon as he got home and i thought things will progress..he said no, just that he is struggling at the moment. now im starting to question if i should stay in this realtionship or go. also said she wasn’t one for dating sites ( no sense) and if a guy was to try and talk to her she would say she was dating someone. i’ll replay some of the ugly stuff i learned about him like a broken record in my head and it gets me all tied up in knots again. he even came inside to meet my parents (he was so nervous) but unfortunately, they went to bed before we got there. but, last weekend over in the same friends house she told me that his profile is still there. i just started working full time and could not show enough income on paper to get another apartment that fast. i know it’s annoying but he’s being open about it and i don’t feel like anything you describe is “shady” (yet).. my friends usually ask me for advice and yet i can’t seem to think clearly for myself. does he really think that i will be happy to settle for being his ‘she’ll do in the meantime’ girl? lol but then proceeded to tell me that i “grew on him”. he was moving the relatiosnhip way to fast wanting to move in etc. i do have some advice but let’s first look at one reader’s email and user this as an example for better understanding where you stand with your guy:My issue comes with him still having his profile up, and with my curiosity getting the best of me, i check almost everyday just to see when he last logged on – seems to be every few days or so. only that, but the sexsearch profile showed that he had been active on it in the last 5 days. i know he checked his email and eventually he did look at the profile, but he did not take the bait and respond back. try not to force them but at the same time you will want to look for opportunities let him know that you need to know where you stand with him. not that you can’t find success, but often this approach mentally “locks” us into continuing to pursue a relationship even when it isn’t that great (and there are lots of other reasons to date multiple people in my mind, but i’ll not go over all that again here). i know i’m reading into it but i’ve been in abusive and bad relationships and i just don’t want to be used and hurt again. it’s the first time i’ve met someone like him. i check his page (because it’s viewable to the public) and he’s made several modifications today. you shouldn’t waste time cooking him dinner, or deleting tinder. i don’t wanna pressure him, as i want him to make the choice on his own, but it’s still so annoying that he lied, twice actually. i look today and it’s back up with modifications?, the not knowing how to deactivate the account doesn’t fly and i bet if you deactivated it for him he’d get upset (well, from what you describe…that’s just a guess). since i see he’s on, i browse my matches but very rarely wink at anyone and don’t message people back (in all honesty, i kind of got sick of online dating and had just tried it because it seemed novel until that feeling wore off). he said he respected that about me, and that he had not seen or been with anyone else in a while. day 3 he texts me and apologizes for his coldness and tells me that i don’t deserve that. we definitely argued a bit and i told him to go on a date, if he liked the girl, we were done (obviously). didn’t see an email from you yet, but i know i’m being anxious and impatient 🙂 thanks again for your great blog. made a point to let me know that there was no way anyone could decide in two or three dates that the person they’re interested in was a bust – so, it certainly looks like he has done just that. i don’t think that means that you should have concerns that you’re being cheated on, but i do think you should have concerns around “why does he feel that he still needs to be checking his dating profile?, why not hide your profiles so other people won’t contact either of you? realistically i believe that whether or not he has paid for a subscription, if he is interested in me – then he shouldn’t be using it! a few days after i posted, he and i went to lunch and had a serious talk about it. i apologised for my amnesia and told him i’d be hanging out with a friend at a pub after work and if he dropped by i could get him a drink to make up. he was very attentive towards me & was making plans to go to football games with me.” he said he doesn’t like being told what to do. i have checked a few times by searching users on pof and each time i see his profile it says he has been on that day. to repeat the same thing, just wanted to see if you could help me a little. i still haven’t come across a problem like mine. i think that might be a next step: to let him know that you’re very unhappy that he keeps his profile up. when i saw him last night i casually (on the outside) mentioned when deleting my profile that i’d seen he was still going online. whether his behavior was “just” ego-stroking or serious looking doesn’t matter–i found it repulsive and a waste of a mature person’s time.! this happened to me after being in an exclusive relationship for 14 months. the goal is to find a guy who will both say and show that he cares for you. – i can’t really speak to what’s going on in his head. i think you getting your profile down and then asking him where he sees things going is the best thing to do. years, and wasn’t looking for anyone when i met a wonderful man. we havent spoken properly about this as this was late last night and when i rang i woke him. that h honestly doesn’t know if he can give, recieve or feel love again due to the divorce. can’t really speak to how much hope there is in this situation but maybe instead of walking away, you just open your options as well?. i also haven’t heard from him all day yesterday, but i didn’t think anything of it until i found out about the badoo thing. he said that he had taken his match account down, and i believed him..But i dont feel easy with that… its difficult… because teh date went brilliantly. i have been seeing this guy for two months and we’ve gotten fairly close. am not brad (obviously) but if you read my post, which is right before yours, you can see i was almost in the same situation. she clearly let me know how much that hurt her. is fabulous to have a weeded out process available in this day but the downside is evident. if this guy is serious about you, he’ll agree that this is a good plan. the monday after a long beautiful weekend, bam, he is online. if he’s hesitating because he’s concerned about commitment, this approach could scare him off. is now day 3 i havent heard from him at all today. if you see that he’s active all the time, you could send him an email from your dating account to his and ask him why he’s so active on the site. should i have her make a date with him and me show up? he really loves you and agrees you are exclusive, the profile needs to come down. noticed every time he’s checking up on his phone, he turns his phone so that i can’t see his screen. as far as the deployed thing, he is getting deployed in a few months, and this is something i knew about not long after we met. i tried to start a conversation but he said sorry but i’m going out soon. have to admit, it’s been a bit tumultuous for me emotionally sometimes. they like to look and the crave for attention from the opposite sex. and if i do, i’ll have to tell him it’s a real relationship or nothing..so along along he was active and looking for talking to, meeting up with other woman. i’ve developed some very strong feelings for him and i feel that i am making the right move in continuing to see him. hmm…i don’t think you should be looking for a way to blame yourself for his actions. i messaged a guy on a dating site and we texted for weeks before finally meeting up. we see each other once a week since we live an hour away from each other. as it turns out, he continued to see his fwb through mid december, sometimes he was ‘with’ both of us on the same day! i also had a gut feeling as it had happened to me previously. completely deleted my profile dont know if i should make a new one or what. this after he had spent friday with me & had told me he never shares his bed with anyone. still, these are areas you will need him to define. an extra tricky thing here is the kind of research that it’s taken you to reveal this activity. he knows that i will soon be going to live where he lives soon because that is my plan (even before i met him) – which is four months from now., as with other situations discussed here, i think it’s totally reasonable to expect real commitment at a certain point and it sounds like you’ve reached that based on what you describe. if he thinks he can play you, he doesn’t deserve your time of day and definitely not any physical attention from you.. i’ll summarize the positive and negative of what i found:He had not been texting or emailing other women since over a year ago (at least from what i could tell). this whole situation sounds to me like him trying to have his cake and eat it too. month 4, i told him i was really enjoying getting to know him, and that my feelings for him were growing in a way i had not expected, and realized that i had reached a point where i would like to include him more into my life and allow him to meet my children (they are teenagers now). i get that you can view profiles for free… but my thing is that if a person is into you seeing you more than once a week – nine times out of ten you have nothing to worry about… dating more than one person is not something most guys are good at and let’s face it… it is too damn expensive. the last few months, i’ve been seeing a guy who i met on tinder – and it’s going really well. have you been 100% open with him on how all this makes you feel? erica – i’m honestly not sure how you could get him off the sites barring getting more aggressive with him about it. i know at one point after we first met, he told me he wasn’t just sleeping around with anyone and everyone. i’ve seen this with some regularity talking to people over the years and while i can’t say for certain, that might be what’s going on here. i also thought it was kind of weird but i felt that if he was okay with me seeing where he was and i had nothing to hide then there shouldn’t be a problem. he kept his profile online and then during a period where he was busy he removed the profile. he never checked to see i made it there or home safely, and hasn’t really been in contact the way he was before i left. spent a weekend together, but he’s still using tinder. you had left a comment in another post saying that he expressed surprise when you told him you only date one person at a time, so i think he is coming at the relationship from a different starting point. a month is enough time to decide if you want to pursue a relationship further. also: what guys do to show they don’t want a 2nd date. he asked me a month into the relationship to be his girlfirend ive met his family and friends. in the article above i recommended that you update your profile to show him you’re still active. next morning he tried to cancel and i wouldn’t allow it. it is concerning that he would trying to chat with other women where you met though. slept together after about 5 dates and it just felt right but neither of us mentioned about being exclusive, i think we both took it we were only seeing and sleeping with each other, at this point he was still active on site but my time on there was becoming less. same lie as before he didn’t know how to delete. my situation he is now an ex for a reason. however there are more things apparently he’s saying that i didn’t tell him “i love him” during sex which was odd to me because i have in the past, i even brought him breakfast the last time i saw him…. he did not introduce me as the “girlfriend,” but simply by name. we chat and video call at least thrice a week.” he goes, “aww 🙂 you like me so much to delete it. or how would he like it if the situation was reversed? very sad to see all the comments on here about the hardships that everyone is experiencing. so i said i cant speak now can he call me later. i have a question, i have been dating a guy that i was introduced to by my sister. the responsible party is the man or woman who has to open those emails to stroke their ego or satisfy what they think is a harmless curiosity.? anyway we end the goodbye on some jokes and pull funny faces at each other as i drive off. so i texted him jokingly that then whatsapp must be messing with me, because it says he was last online last night around 9pm. i did that, but no response…he claims he fell asleep. i am going to do what i want because he is surely doing what he wants. so it concerns me when i found out that his profile is still up and he goes online like pretty much everyday. you are risking stds,emotionally injuring people who deserve respect and maybe losing out on a really good person. how am i supposed to trust him when he makes empty promises? we have taken our relationship to the next level (if you can call it a relationship) intamacy is great.
the “let’s be exclusive” conversation hasn’t happened, i would recommend you start to slowly but intentionally determine if he feels your relationship is headed in that direction. his parents are apparently reaaaaaaaally keen on this idea and so are hers. i’d say that long of “exclusive” dating should be long enough for someone to know if they’re ready for that step. i was upset since according to dating norm he should have paid. i’ve been to a work picnic once but haven’t met his friends . i still had my profile up and so did he. i thought wow he really is an honest guy, what a catch! he had not dated anyone else, and i believe him. have been dating a wonderful woman for over 3 months that i met on match. i recently signed up under a fake profile and tried to wink and favor him. when we’re together he shows everyone that he cares. oh, and he officially asked me to be his girlfriend in february. finding out the basement roommate and he actually did have an intimate relationship after swearing up and down since july that he never touched her was the final straw of many in the red flags and numerous chances to be honest. ultimately he said he thinks we need a break for a week or two – that things were getting messy & the last thing he wanted is to hurt me. i felt kinda hurt even though we aren’t in a relationship. i am one to not talk with other men when i am a few dates into seeing a guy, but we aren’t to that place of discussing taking down profiles yet. bigger reason is that guys like him are psychopaths and at the end of the day they are all bad news. i want to pull back from him and stop seeing him, but it’s so hard to do when you like someone. went to a spa, it was beautiful and we ended up staying the night together……. seemed we were perfect together with him professing his love and talking of marriage. when searching for profiles, my profile said i had been active within 5 days. he however did not, at first it did not really bother me. i generally do believe he does like me but he is just either not wanting to be hurt again so taking these easy or he is seeing other women. no one wants to feel like they are being bullied into a relationship. i told him i didn’t understand this plan since we had not talked yet.’s tricky to suggest an amount of time set in stone for when you should expect things to move forward as every relationship is different. we’ve skyped almost every night for 4+ hours a night, and we text all day. i asked if there was anything missing from our relationship as that would be the only reason why i would go on a site. you brad we had a talk and it turns out he doesnt go on it and didn’t realise he had left it, he didnt think it was an issue. i still believe what i wrote there, i’m finding that many of the women who are contacting me are not at the point where they are sure if the man is their “boyfriend” or not. i played stupid and said i had thought that was the plan from the start. anyway he’s told me he needs time to himself. at this point, assuming you’re right, i’m not sure what other options you have. that’s besides the point really but it’s still true. so when i met him on thursday i asked him why he was online if he so wanted to get off. sex until you both take down your profiles and agree to be exclusive. as i discussed above, i would recommend against being aggressive or angry. live in hope that not everyone is the same and that there are genuine men out there. i then said well, it is partly because of you, i am not interested in talking to anyone else while i am getting to know you. i met a guy on a dating app, we went on a date. the subject is in your email subject line and says: so and so sent you an email. when i text him, he always replies right away and we text until i get tired. i dont know…is that something that can even work? of december, it seems his fwb girl pretty much cut him off. i did confront him to discuss it but now i realise i did so – not to understand him – but only with a view to declaring that he had failed, that i don’t ‘share’ and therefore we couldn’t continue in this state. he’s all over the shop & i can’t handle this roller coaster. he remains curious and i increasingly uncertain of where i stand. he was sent to them as a mutual match and it showed that he was online that day within one hour after he had with me in bed the night prior. i was completely honest with him that i had looked him up, and he told me that he ex-wife took his old computer after they split up and that’s the computer he had used to sign up. guess what – if you did then you are not ready to be honest with her or yourself. after 6 weeks of talking non stop via text, a few phones calls a week, and seeing each other no less than once a week i brought up the “where is this going” talk…. maree – i think from a guy’s point of view it can be, at least in some small part, a commitment issue. but also texts me and tells me how much he misses me and how much he dreams about me, blah, blah, blah. a man leaves his online dating profile active, what does it mean? time i finally felt angry that he couldn’t say to me ‘i am not sure about us’ – respect! shares so much about himself with meso why is he pushing me away like this. i think that no matter where things actually stand, if you start to worry/stress about things, he’s going to pick up on that and it won’t make things any better.’m definitely not defending what he did (i disagree with it and think it was wrong of him to do so) but you did get a much better response than many women: he removed the profile quickly and i think he was a lot more honest than most guys in admitting that creating it made him feel better. how can a man give me a stupid meaningless ring and tell me he can’t to get married to me etc and then do something wreckless? i just assume that if someone really likes you, then they would delete their online profile right away and they wouldn’t be so afraid of commitment. and i think what you’re saying is that what really bothers you is that as soon as you’re done spending time together he’s on the site, right? in your case, he asked you to be his girlfriend…he needs to cut out the unnecessary continuation of online dating now.. i put his hand on my chest and said ‘omg! i decided the other day to go on and delete my profile since we’ve declared each other ‘mine’. he wants to spend all of his free time with me and i feel that due to the fact that hes new to the city that’s mainly because he doesn’t know a lot of ppl. he denied it, said that he’d been telling any interested parties that he was involved with someone (me) – and that he’d look into taking down the profile. there was one night about 3 weeks ago now where i did flip out on him (somewhat) about not responding to my texts at all (heard nothing from him, two different days. that said, given how you two talk i would expect it to be down very soon (within the next week). i admitted to snooping through his phone, and laid out everything i had found and discovered. i was thinking of sealing the deal the second time we see each other. i definitely can not be physical with him if i know he is talking to other people. there will come a point that you will need to draw a line and make ultimatums but i’m not convinced one month into the relationship is that time (especially if you think you’ve found a great guy). as maree touched on earlier, these guys wouldn’t try to continue to pick up other women and real life and shouldn’t do so online either. he had cancelled his membership (and told me he was doing this) about 3 weeks ago. from your email, it doesn’t sound like you are. about 2 weeks after we met, i cancelled my match account, and closed out my pof profile. you can’t bring yourself to be more aggressive about the situation in person, one thing you could try is to also create a profile on the site (if he’s using a free one). (i dont think so cos we hav met without sex and because we tlk about everything for months now). when he tried to confirm, i told him i hade forgotten we had a date and promised lunch to a friend. few days ago she offerered to help her friend with her match profile.’s how many people admit to banging in an uber. he calls me baby although he doesn’t want us to be official yet. i understand we never comitted ourselves to each other, sohe has every rigt to. situation is very similar to what had been described in a few of the comments earlier. i asked him playfully several times if he’d take the profile off he never gave answers. 6months we decided to meet up again finally and it was just incredible! things were tough at first but then they seemed to be getting better. so he can see if he knows someone…and then what? you could continue to date him if you want, but if he says that he loves you but refuses to take down his profile even when he knows it bothers you…well, i find that very concerning. he asked me if he should take his profile down? get real about whether they’d like their gfs if sex wasn’t involved. have had a 5-6 really great dates, chemistry off the charts, met his daughter, spent a weekend with him. this online dating drama made me push him & drove him ‘crazy’. if he’s just looking for his ego stroking, he shouldn’t need it right now should he? he is sending me all these confusing messages and i am afraid to bring it up again since we already had the talk. also that he got to go and wished me a great day and that we would talk soon. this required him to travel like 3 hours to visit me where i was at that time…. as you approach being exclusive, obviously it would be a problem but since you say that’s not where you’re at, i’d leave it be. the risk of being lied to is higher online because it is a catalogue of sorts. don’t be too quick or demanding in your desire to define your relationship…be willing to give it time and allow it to grow naturally. so, i put my profile back up today and i am not going to tell him. along with many of my personal friends have reiterated your story to me through tears and hugs. i told him that i couldn’t continue on with him though if he still wanted to see other women. over the course of the next month we continued seeing each other and had several attempts at “the talk”. i know you can hide your profile when you have an active subscription because i’ve done it so don’t let him try to convince you he can’t do that either. he knows that i will soon live where he lives because that is my future plan (even before i met him) – which is four months from now. he said that’s fine cos him & his friends would go back to the city in any case. so i took down my profile after we chat and plans to talk to him about our relationship. soon after he tells me his parents want him to start thinking about seeing a family friend’s daughter from the same background as them. another problem is that a few times he had informed me that he is confused and do not know what he wants in life or keeps on changing his problem which makes me feel so confused and disappointed. the last time i met someone i liked on tinder enough to go on a few dates, i stopped logging in for a while, because i didn’t want to look for anyone else. told him i understood as he is just newly ‘out there’. but it’s also not unreasonable for you to feel a bit miffed that he’s doing exactly what you feared. i try and not let these things effect me but of course they do from time to time, my friends are always telling me i need someone who is going to be there for me…a superman…and yes this guy has understood things, told me i could talk to him, however recently their was another family episode and my guy wanted “a break” ok. i’m pretty sure that my wife would be upset if i flirted with other women and told her it didn’t mean anything or that it was an ego thing. i brought up the online thing & he said he was emailing 2 girls – ‘nothing interesting’. no shame in protecting your biggest investment: your self esteem and right to know who you are in bed with…. our emails were immediately riveting and he even told me it seemed like we knew each other for ages.. when i think back i am surprised to find that each and every time it was i who decided when he should have an opinion about me, i decided when he should take down his profile and actually i decided everything about timing etc based on my instinct and my feelings. but he’s open to me talking to him about it when i feel the need to. however, if we use your examples of the real world versus online dating (and really a case that you appear to make that they should operate more similarly): if it were the real world instead of online dating wouldn’t you have been more firm that he shouldn’t be talking to another woman/making himself available to other women? guess i’m wondering if he’s interested or not. dave – you might try sending her here to see that others have dealt with the problem. up until meeting up, we messaged once a week, usually i messaged but he also did if i didn’t. we hit it off straight away and i instantly felt so comfortable with him. anyway, last week his sister had been awful to me and i was home alone and upset. logic aside, i would ask any reader who has this issue the same thing i asked the woman who contacted me: are the two of you exclusive and have you both made it clear that you are only interested in dating each other? we laughed so much, i couldn’t even remember when a guy made me laugh like that! we continued to date and then on valentine’s day we broke up officially. this round: a king of red flags rears his ugly head. also: tinder bros are allegedly more loyal than regular bros.. which has been cancelled but not hear anything about a visit. i’m not saying this is what is happening but i would argue he seems to deserve a little more benefit of the doubt than some of the other guys discussed here. i am such a great catch then why lose me? in the first few weeks we were together i was worried about how my daughter would react to being around a new guy. i checked online today and it said that he was online today. he always tells me that he loves me deep down but i just don’t know what to do anymore. for the last few months this has been by far the question i’ve received most often from readers. if he continuously finds an excuse not to meet again, i’d be more concerned. i’m scared because i think i’m already falling for him. i was chatting/emailing a guy for about a month, we met and seemed to get along really well. it never occurred to me that i could, that it was an option. nevertheless, i was shocked and disappointed when he told me one morning that he had been on a date. – it sounds like the confusing areas in your relationship might go beyond just the dating profile. anyway, he tells me that he doesn’t have the desire to talk to or see anyone else. he said he was trying to hide his but couldnt do it on his phone but when he gets a laptop he will do it, i said ill hide mine too.! now i’m really starting to panic – so without hesitation and with some authority, i look him straight in the eyes and tell him in front of everyone – ‘that is not a for sure thing yet, as we still have not talked about the details’. the thing is, we haven’t really discussed the status of our relationship yet. to hear but this is how it should go if you expect to be trusted. he said he was extremely hurt as well and he still cares for me a lot, but wants to take it slow. i’m afraid if i put my profile back up that it will make the situation worse, plus i really don’t want to. fashion and beauty news, celeb tea, the down and dirty on sex and dating — and more — sign up below and join the girl cult.” today, i emailed him and asked him if he is dating people from the site and that we should both take our sites down and focus on each other. before i proceed let me give you a bit of a background i had broken up with my ex 2 days before xmas since he had been mia for 2 months which drove me insane.
We Spent a Weekend Together, But He's Still Using Tinder - Galore
The 6 Worst Things About Dating Someone You Met on Tinder
’v egot the same problem on ly mine is a little different. this point i don’t want to even mention to him that i’m aware he’s quite active, especially on match which my sister says allows for various forms of communication with people unlike the site i’d met him on, where his original profile remains active. well…i don’t think it’s a *good* thing that he’s still logging in. his last message though was that he was going to message me the next day.’d vote for opening up more and letting him know how you feel…but not necessarily in one big conversation. i mentioned before, i assumed we were exclusive when we had that talk and worked things out (in late nov 2013). in many of the other cases, the guys don’t clearly commit or label the relationship. you’ve decided to get a clearer idea of where your relationship stands, i recommend trying to start conversations as naturally as possible over a 2 to 4 week period. may (2014) he got an out of the blue text from his ex (fwb girl), saying he should come to a party she is having in june. i don’t have any lack of self esteem but i don’t call myself a gift horse! he’s said it takes him longer to commit to someone. 2 weeks before move in, i just couldn’t shake a funky feeling i had about the whole thing. there was all these messages from the dating website that we meet on. after the first week he was asking me to be his girl., i think you should have been more honest with your guy. we met on a dating website, and the relationship took off right from the start. i just think i could get hurt if i asked him where things are going more so than if i just moved on, perhaps if i contacted him less he might get the message…. once the “exclusivity” talk came up (from my end): i asked if he was still on that dating site, because i took my profile down about two weeks after we met. one month down the line he stopped refferring to out future, except he will only speak to me current situation and only refers me as gf.? and do u think he is using me for sex ? we have been seeing each other, twice a week for 7 weeks now.. and then back to the sex thing he thinks he was going to get some from me but i told him not till “the break is over and the sites are deleted” (this is all texting btw) and he goes “you’re demanding stuff because you said were not going to have sex till i delete match”…ummm duh… i said yes and i have a good point to, that don’t you think? so i made up another profile to see if he would chat and low and behold, he started chatting and added me as his favourite! he says he loves me, yet aout three weeks ago i asked him where he thought our relationship was headed..he is such a great guy who i think is worth it. we had an amazing connection and he made me his girlfriend about the second time we hung out. it hurts me that he denies our relationship to people he know but is all about it in private.’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months but he continues to be active on dating sites. i am not checking up on him anymore cos that upsets me. i have tried to keep my “option open” by staying on the site – but it just makes me feel bad….!Are you new to online dating or looking to improve your success using it? am just so scarred to bring my feelings or the site thing up……. i was quick to let you know how much i loved my wife but every time i told you this i also punched her in the face. about a week or so ago i ask him what we are. a few minutes later, his short worded texts suddenly stopped. am thinking of giving him a few weeks and see what happens but at the same time i am concerned as well and confused as to why his profile is still active and he often logs on. he told me the thing’s he told my fake profile weren’t true – ‘i was obviously trying to pick her up – would i tell her i am seeing or sleeping with someone? i have not confronted my boyfriend about this online dating profile yet. which privately causes me to panic…but i told him i was open to the idea and to talking about it further. he promised again he would delete it as soon as he can get back on and he promised i would never have to go through something like that again. we had the most incredible night (no intimacy) and i felt so so so comfortable. he even used it last night, and i just dont know what to do about it. he suprised me first thing in the morning with an execpected visit, we went to a braves game that we had scheduled a week before and then he invited me to spend the night at his place. but i think you’ll find it very empowering and i suspect you’ll be far less likely to put up with crap. so this was just the tactic he needed to reel me in hook line and sinker! i was hurt but more disappointed because he told me that he would never hurt me like my ex s did or any man before him. this could remove some of your problems but it would also be nice for those who are still dating online and trying to find someone interested (and obviously you’re not! i have also made myself avaible for this same night. i like to stay chill, but it’s hard when the person i deeply like and have put a lot of time into isn’t willing to sacrifice his current dating life while i am. then in april he tells me he spoke to his 19 year old son who was still living at home but looking for his own place, that the game plan was to be out of his house by june 1st, that is when he would be moving in with me, so his son better get active in finding an apartment. about a week ago, i noticed that he had the pof app installed on his phone, and he just got a new phone a few days before that – so i calmly asked him about it. has his ego been hurt that i was online when he had removed the earlier account? so as that sixth week approaches, i think it would be best if you let him know that you’re bothered by his profile still being up and see how he responds. i know that when you are dating you should do this but i just can’t and he said he was the same. both of us even changed our status to “seeing someone.’d try not to worry too much at this point. this means no going against his grain or his rules.” he took my hand, placed it on his chest which was beating as fast as mine and said with a smile “it’s what happens when you’re falling in love” a few days later, he updated his headline on pof to “undecided” —- i dont even know what that means. we still text once a week and i usually text first or he does if i don’t. towards the beginning, we decided to go withthe flow and see where this relationship would go. frankly, don’t care for it for a multitude of reasons but it has been a good vehicle in which i have met some terrific people. know this is almost what everyone else is saying but i would like your advice. i am not asking the guy to committ to me and plan weddings and babies. i tell him i am very busy through the week and can manage saturday. after almost 4 months, i was really falling for him, and had stopped dating other guys after month 3. if you’re two months in and his profile is still up, it’s time to get your profile back up as well., this guy may not even be thinking about his profile and might be totally confused if you disappeared. then today i searched again and it said active in 3 days. he wouldn’t make out with me that night – he said ‘i don’t want your friends to think i only come over for one thing’. i find this truth out many many months after dating when she kept walking up into his house and always there when i came over.. he’s texting someone with the name “mistress” in his phone. but revenge wasn’t sweet as he then sent me an email about his lack of self confidence and his poor self image and how it gave him such an ego boost as his mother never loved him blah, blah, blah, blah. we spent our first valentines together and he met my family. boat here…been dating my guy for 11 months now – we are both 42…. during those 6+ years, i focused on raising my two sons, building my career, healing and finding myself and my own happiness. dezi – i would say giving it a bit more time wouldn’t hurt (only because it would be nice for him to bring the idea up). continued seeing each other and finally i just told him that i had made it clear in my profile that i was seeking a long term relationship and that he had indicated that in his profile as well. i saw it two days ago i felt sick to my stomach but i decided to not bring it up until my emotions have cooled a bit and i can think rationally. stop fooling one another with the notion that we should not have expectations. he says hes not dating/sleeping with anyone else but why is he still online? later in the week he asks if i had any cancellations and i told him i hadn’t. he hasn’t asked to meet since i just nodded at his suggestion. i get that idea and if he were actively looking to meet new people i could even agree…but if he’s only logging in to respond to new emails why not remove the profile so all those women don’t have to “work hard” in the first place? we haven’t gone on a real date yet because he lives in a different country than mine.” well in the “ask men” section of reddit, guys asked themselves and each other the same question about their girlfriends, and their answers are pretty interesting. i really like this gy so i want to give him a chance to delete the profile of his own accord. he’s saying that since the people who are contacting him put in the effort to contact him, he should respond to them. i said i had made an account and saw him on there. i began dating, i realized what fun i was having with it, even if a date wasn’t great, i just loved getting out there and meeting new people and discovering things about myself and relationships that i hadn’t before. met my current boyfriend online a couple months ago, he kept mentioning thing about me being his girlfriend so 2 weeks ago i asked if we were together and he said yes. guess i’m concerned because it seems like he logs onto match when we’re both at work. there are going to be ups and down, good and bad – you just have to be willing to put forth the work. i know he was aware that i disabled my profile because he can check it. he totally denied that he was on the site and could not see how the picture got on it.. he specifically said he isn’t into labels (a fuckboy’s favorite phrase). – honestly it’s hard to judge your situation because some guys just have trouble committing. have the same story as above, i started dating this guy a month ago. i think doing this can be beneficial because a) you might find a great guy who does want to commit or b) he might realize how much it sucks to have the person you’re dating to be open to dating other people. i got my revenge though and set him up by using a friend’s profile to catch a great big rat (and even though it was me he was writing to he still lied and lied and lied) and i caught him out big time. he said he loved me for the first time and i said it back. i checked the messages tonight and it said he was online now so i messaged him with hi how are you, he didn’t respond. you ever looked at your boyfriend and wondered, “if i wasn’t so dickmatized, would i still be with you? i do think the exclusive conversation could be very tough before you meet, but if you find you keep worrying about it and you think you’re at a place where he’d be open to it, i’d bring that conversation up. recently, another woman is doing the same thing on his facebook and it makes me wonder if he’s doing the same thing to me yet again. i suppose if she’s just dating you casually, it may be less stressful to think that you might be cheating on her. i’m not too sure because he was willing to have a baby with me if i let him, deff not ready now! the other day i did have to make a little remark where i said, you know…i know you arent in this for the long hall, (i only said this because when he told me he loved me, he also said…”this doesnt mean i necessarily feel i want to spent the rest of my life with you…wtf? i met a man on match about 4 months ago, and things have been wonderful. i’ve been dating this guy i met on pof for 3mts now. i expressed the same feelings and we planned to move in together two weeks from now. if i want to check on someone i just use a friend’s profile to see when they were last online. things are well, but i’m still struggling with it all. second, i believe the following guidelines can help when having your conversations:Be honest. he replies within a min and we text for hours until i get sleepy and tired. i asked why he was online recently, and he said it had to be a mistake, that he must have accidentally pushed a button on his phone that logged him on without him even realizing it. i don’t write the others off by no means but just usually really like just 1. i try not to pressure him about it and he hasn’t been dishonest with me.. we are both full time parents and work full time. so i know this is wrong but i decided to make a fake profile using my sister’s photos since she lives in another country. i wish you the best of luck – whether he changes his mind or not! he was still really, really insistent that he wasn’t looking for anyone else, and would look again at cancelling the sites. said ok, that i would hang in there, but i asked him to please be straight up with me the second he doesn’t feel like this will go anywhere and he promised he would. he even offered to show me the “fake” account he was using to help his friend. he says he doesn’t want to rush things and does not just want to date anyone, he is dating to find someone to marry and wants to be sure. he was right where i was with my opinion, so again – a match. if she says she’s not comfortable with that because of her past experience, i’d try to be understanding. i have also noticed that on his computer he is getting on another site and looking at personals, mostly from other states. regardless of what everyone else is doing, the biggest thing you need to question is if you and this guy are on the same page. i’ve lived in a military town my whole life, and i avoided dating military men for that entire reason. anyways, we still met up and spoke very very regularly over the next 6 months. it’s clear he’s online but not yet dating anyone. i guess my question is, if it’s almost been a year and his feelings haven’t changed since we first started seeing each other and he’s still going on dating websites, should i even try to thinkta he would someday want a relationship? he doesn’t have a problem with it and i obviously don’t either. when i didn’t hear from this guy till friday afternoon, i was in no mood to wait and was not happy and you can understand why since i had spent all my patience with my ex. so anyway, i message him and he message me back. we ended up sleeping together and he spent the night at my place. his status updating from:“interested in meeting women for dates”. i assumed he got cold feet and freaked out about the ‘exclusivity’ talk we had. now whether you really talk with other guys is up to you…but honestly, i think it wouldn’t be a bad idea to actually do so. he checks his emails in front of me and i didn’t think much of it that he still got emails from another dating website and he had said he couldn’t remember the password. he didn’t say marriage, but his intentions are long term with me and he is excited to see a long term future together. accidentally discovered that my bf had recently logged into his online dating profile. if he can’t bring himself to take his profile down no matter how much you talk about it, i think you need to consider keeping your options open as well. we went a few days without talking over the last 2 weeks. yeah, it would be nice if when he got the “hi” email if he would have said to himself, “oh, that reminds me, i should hide my profile!. i hope it’s not too late to get a response. i removed my profile at the end of the first week or so explaining to him that it was my personal preference/instinct and that it placed no pressure or expectation on him., but he also hosts the weekly podcast loveline, with amber rose, who just hosted her third annual slut. he said it all has actually caused him to love me even more and strengthen his commitment to me, which he acknowledges might sound strange, but that is the affect it had for him. i was getting player’ vibes from him by this time. i will tell you that he does the same with his job though. in the cases where his profile is still up, i would expect that another month after bringing up your concerns is all it should take for him to decide (and it really should be much faster than this). i don’t know how it got to this point. he wanted to take things slowly and was not ready to commit to a relationship though he liked me a lot and did not want to stop what we have.
The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do? | Life
At what point in a relationship should someone delete their Tinder
i have only been seeing this guy for three weeks. explain how much you enjoyed spending time with her but given how infrequently you are seeing each other and given the fact that she’s still looking online, you feel like you should keep your options open. you call out a guy for still being on Tinder and he says he's "hardly using it," chances are he's playing you. he says he really likes me and is into me and still getting to know me. thus, on occasion i sense her guard is up a bit. initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. have met an army man on an online dating site about 6 weeks ago, and we pretty much hit it off right from the beginning. i told him that it hurt to see him on the site and that i felt that everything was going good and i did not understand why he was on. you have agreed to be exclusive, things are easy: you just need to ask him to take it down! true, we did not discuss what sleeping together meant, but i did not think it was necessary to have the same conversation i might have had with a 30-year-old. know it won’t be easy but if he refuses to commit himself to you i recommend keeping your options open., i thought i was the only one in this situation. i told him how i felt he was hiding me that he wasn’t taking me out to dinner or movies. all that doesn’t work, i’d say at some point you should just say: “so-and-so, i really enjoy spending my time with you but i worry we might be looking at our relationship differently. deleted my profile about 2 weeks after we had started being boyfriend and girlfriend. i told him am busy & he sent me a text that was obviously for someone else. you two have ongoing sex in any form , have respect for yourself as well as her and anyone else you are whispering to in bed – and either become exclusive if its going well or let her find a man who knows her worth and would like to share life with her. all this bull about the guy being scared of commitment and just being a guy is bull crap. so i would hope her relationship with him would encourage you to be more aggressive about understanding what he’s doing. am so confused…i felt the connection…how can he now say there’s no spark. it proved to me this is someone i really want to be exclusive with. we live an hour apart so i only see him once a week -but we talk or text daily. and today when we were texting i said (in response to something), “i mean i like you enough to know that i don’t wanna see others. comment, “i wish my brain would just stop” reminds me of advice my dad gave me when i was growing up: often the best way to get over someone is to find a new someone. he also said that i should know that if he had a chance to get online, he would have texted me as he always does. thing is in the begining he was referring to our future hopefully it would lead toi marriage and refferred me as his wife, love etc. it sounds like he’s assuming you’d continue to date other people because you spent the money even if you found someone you wanted to date exclusively and that makes no sense to me. i agree men need women to tell them how and what they feel since men aren’t mind readers but then, neither are women. so, i asked “why do you have the profile up when you know it bothers me this way? so i never talked to him about the dating site but i found out that he isn’t using the site we met on anymore but that he has set up an account for a totally different site and tried to hide that it’s really him so that no one will know. i told him if he’s not that into me, then he’s more than welcome to leave. after a few hours, i tried to message him and he ignoring me and didn’t reply it at all. keep your options open and don’t care too much about what the men do…care about how it makes you feel. and he went on to say he thinks we may be meant to be together but struggles with being unsure. he, not me, started talking of baby names with me. i know you care for him and i know that it hurts, i’m just afraid that he’s establishing a pattern where he’s showing that he’s going to continue to hurt you throughout your relationship. if you’re into labels and you’re looking for a boyfriend, you shouldn’t put up with his bullshit. he apologized and said that he did panic and freak out because he is afraid to ‘settle down’. we were casually talking about something and he slipped something about the site and i asked him: “wait, are u still on the site” he answered that yes he’s still on it but it’s “just there”. i reminded him how his friend spied on me – he now says it wasn’t his friend but he himself. should i be worried or should i just take it easy, breathe, and see how the next 2-4 weeks go? i hope we can talk tonight but im so confused about where i stand and don’t know what to say to him. i guess my thought is that some more time together could help convince you both that it’s a good match (or not) and then all the wondering wouldn’t be required. went on a few ‘one date wonders’…lol…he reached out to me…. start small and work your way up if you’re truly afraid you’ll come on too strong. now in the position where i dont know what to do now? i never gave the guy a chance to make any changes. i’m nervous that if i were to message him from that fake account he would indeed respond. if he wasn’t, there’s no reason why he should still be using tinder. neither of us had an official discussion about bf/gf labels yet, but i wasn’t in a hurry for all that stuff, as everything truly felt great and was going so well. met a guy online we hit it off really great., he is still active on the sight and logs in. he said that he hadn’t been on that one in months and didn’t even remember the login – even though it said he had been online literally right before i called him. i got really sad about he still having it up and went into my zone for the rest of the night.’s what i seem to arrive at in conclusion anyway…. in about another month or so, he will know for sure if he will stay here or be sent away, and we have agreed to talk about being officially exclusive at that time. but i must say his profiles up still really bother me, especially since we have been intimate. so i told him we should try not to bring it up again and that since he’s a mature person i’ll leave it on him. he may have secretly been hoping for a commitment from you after having this conversation and when that didn’t happen he’s now not sure the relationship is going where he had hoped it would. i stupidly rang him and asked if he wanted to be with me. that he would go to the place we had dinner at on monday since it was ‘so so good’. but it was apparent that he was really hung up on her.’m realizing that the bottom line is, i don’t trust him anymore. i hope we can remain friends but understand if you don’t! i’d be careful: if he’s now dating another girl and things don’t work out with her, he’s likely to try and come back and make you feel like everything was fine and you were overreacting. opened a convo, i spoke to him like i normally do and we got on so well but he did notttttt kno it was me! that weekend we texted each other every day and spoke about every other day, since we both have time consuming jobs. was feeling unsure (trust issues from being cheated on 2 out of 3 boyfriends) and so i created a “fake” profile (something i am not very proud of). we dated for a year and then we moved in together. we had the exclusive talk, and we both agreed to not see anyone else – but we aren’t exactly “official” yet because of the uncertainty of his job (he’s at risk of being sent overseas for a minimum of 2 years). i made up a fake profile and decided to check to see if he would respond. he promised that was not his intention and again said he would take his profile down, but needed help because he couldn’t figure it out. that text he sent to me by mistake screams that messing up with me bothers him. we have been calling/texting each other about everyday since we met online. i started by telling him i wasn’t ready to move in together and needed more time. i told him i appreciate his honesty and that if he still wanted to ‘date’ (not spend nights, yada yada) while we both date others, to keep our connection going, i was ok with that. i said that he really should think about changing that if his goal is simply to date around. was/am in the same situ, whatever happened in your situation? things had been going wonderfully, we spent a lot of time together, almost every other day, and texting/phone conversations every day. he had mentioned getting marrired and i told him he was crazy., in your response to cat, not all guys are like this. a day or so later i really kind of had a moment where i texted him asking him if things were ok between us because he was being distant. or to try and keep a friendship if we cant hav more maybe? our last day during the stay, i saw a whatsapp notification come up on his screen, the name was “xiao san” with the double pink heart emoji next to the name., i’m in a similar situation to most on here. so based on my observation i am assuming that he was checking his profile for a minute or two then logged out. first, the idea that you calling his phone or texting him would drain his phone battery is a lie, although i imagine he’s going to use that event if pressed on why he’s not talking to you. so i plucked up courage and sent txt, saying i had a good day etc but im upset and i needed to talk to him, his instant reply was are u ok, whats wrong. as we are very up front bout most things in general. he know it bothered me the first day he “forgot his phone” so why would he keep doing it unless he was purposefully ignoring me possibly? once i texted him he was quick with his response and asked me to come over to his suburb. we are talking and seeing each other, he met my friends and even introduced me to his. this has been most acutely demonstrated over the last week by the data dump from the ashley madison platform, which revealed that the site had millions of straight male subscribers, but very few women signed up.’ve been dating the same guy for 4 months and today i asked him where i stand and he is not answering me back is he hiding something from me. if he’s not going to commit, this is a risk for you and i’d see talking to other men as a valid approach since you can’t know what he’s going to do down the line. there’s the possibility of a move for him in the future after his military career ends, and he has asked me to go with him if that possibility becomes a reality – i accepted. yeah, a deleted profile would be best (or updated text) but at least he has it heading in the right direction.? if this is the case, then ill do the same thing hes doing to me. he keeps saying he just gotten out of a relationship & do is not ready. i was thrilled 🙂 but then, he was charged with another 6 month subscription – despite the fact that he had cancelled. he invited me to stay at his place and we again had a great time, very easygoing, no tension or uncomfortable feeling at all. then he’ll later mention ho he misses me of how we needto hsngout more. the keep saying they will hav a good future together and will make them proud if they get married one day. i kinda already mentioned about this… i dont know how to play it. so what if as an experiment you tried communicating with a few more guys at the same time. i know you make a case for not doing this in your comment but i worry that there is some risk in expecting a man to recognize:The moment when it is obvious you are both moving towards proper committment (and not even by the time’ you have committed to exclusivity verbally). he has been a total gentleman and he even went into a “domestic partnership” with me on facebook (haha)..what am i going to be with you, sleep with you, & be wondering whats going on; on the side with the dating site…. i don’t get why he texts me those things saying what he says and then not give me the time of day. thought no more of it, apart from a feeling that something was “off” – then i visited the website about a month later. i deactivated my pof online dating acount 2 weeks ago as soon as we discussed that we were dating. doesnt seem like he is committing to the relationship or caring about my feeling the past few days. as i’ve recommended to others, it may be best to talk with him about where he sees things going. i think having the talk on this will clear that up and if he still won’t take his profile down, i think that will be the sign that something is really wrong. we chat/txt evey day without fail, he has been to my house few times now but i’ve never been to his. but my daughter has this thing where she loves to look at his pictures and since his phone is touch screen and she is only 3 she sometimes hits other buttons, well about a week ago she opened his browser and ended up on the exact dating site i am talking about. met a coupld more times and then slept together, its not something i do easily at alllllllllll, it just felt right at the time. What would you do if your significant other is on a dating app or site. he has not only changed his profile picture, he has added a picture from our trip, a picture that i took of him. he said things to me like “you have a lot of stress in your life, and it’s stressing me out etc. that being said, i’d still be cautious – it takes 5 minutes to take your profile down so his excuse doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. on friday (13 jan) he tells me that he was going to his mates place for dinner so if i’d like to join. would then suggest that if things are still going well between the two of you in a few weeks that you let him know that you would like to be girlfriend/boyfriend and see what his response is. i would talk to him: let him know you want to be exclusive and see what he says. first off, he has significant commitment and some emotional issues. as it turns out, he was talking with other women – don’t know if he slept with any of them, but he was definitely out on the hunt. i was living in the belief that he had deleted his site and i didn’t even doubt him about it for a second, sine he had promised me he would. met a guy on a dating website about 3 weeks ago, and ever since then (tons of long emails back and forth), we’ve been really attached. btw, he told me today that he would need my parents’ consent and then we both just changed the subject. this would put our “relationship” on hold and already up to a tough test. the only interaction i have had with match is when i open to delete the wink/emails sent to my personal yahoo account. we chat and video call almost everyday, and our emotional connection just gets deeper and sensual. abruptly changed his mind because he suddenly “didn’t feel it” with me, i had a sneaking suspicion something. i took some time to reflect and by the end of the week i realized how much i missed him. he went bananas and said he was crazy about me. i replied no worries, but that i trust that he wouldn’t play games with me because that would be unnecessary. curious of anyone’s thoughts on this…been going out with a guy i met online. i felt sick and angry but said nothing… i calmed down and spoke to a friend next day and she was like, u need to say something. i care about him so much and i yet i have my reservations about him. he said he wasn’t doing any of that on purpose and i was wrong to think he was intentionally doing those. 6 months into the relationship, i told him i needed a break – that seeing him searching for the next best thing (as i saw it) was hurting me. then he gets an email from an interested woman and he says, “oh wow, i need to update my profile”. brad, do you think what we have now can get more serious – become exclusive and enter into a relationship? but he’s still so kind to me to help me in my time of need. he didn’t reply to that one anymore because he obviously had gone offline already. he asked if we could pick up where we left off…. i tried to explain to him i want you to see where i’m coming from, that i was so shocked and hurt that he did that…. was really keen to see a pic of me so i showed him a few not too close up, he kept asking for closer pics………….” just so i could see when he’s online (not to get a response. might be something relatively harmless (such as an ego thing and nothing more). he told me he’s ready to settle down but just got out of a near eengagement so needs time to process the break up. and just to make it clear, my sister isn’t creating suspicion with me, i’d noticed how all along, he’d be texting me and suddenly stop with no goodnight, see ya, nothing, just stopped in mid conversation. i never saw another email, there were no text from random girls, or phone calls that seemed weird. he had asked me to meet his mom a few months ago, but we had to cancel and it has yet to happen.
His Dating Profile is Still Active – Is He Interested or Not? - Online
#2745 So You Found Out Your Man Is On Tinder - Isaac Likes
lied when he said he added pictures to his profile just to see if i would notice and to see if i was still online. we have gone out on dates twice and we spent all of last weekend together because he said he wanted to spend more time with me. if you do it without anger, i can’t see how he would object (although i think your anger was appropriate before). he texted me later & said the following: are you ok? met him on pof in august 2013 and to be honest, i had just started dating again since my divorce 6 1/2 years earlier. but he did cancel on an invitation to join me at my friend’s farewell on sunday. curiousity always killed the cat and i checked to see if he was still active a couple weeks ago and he was. at that stage i was ready to end the relationship and leave him to it. i’m sure this will make him angry but it will be pretty hard for him to deny (and i get the feeling that you’re going to have to accept him getting angry if you want to pursue solving this problem, regardless of how you approach it). i mean, when is the point where he would take his profile down? guy who makes a point to say he’s “not into labels” is bad news. he even told me that he’ll fetch me at the airport. that said, i do agree that in many cases respect is also playing a large role. the same is happeningto me again so maybe next time i will try meeting someone who doesn’t have a computer as i am rapidly losing faith in meeting someone who is honest and loyal and can commit to one person. he told me had a b’day but could manage to meet me for a bit and a drink at 12pm. i asked why and he said he wasn’t really feeling the site etc. almost everyone who has success with online dating will have some time where they have a subscription but aren’t using it…assuming they meet someone. i don’g want to pushtowards anything, because i feel as thoughhe will if he wants to…but am i wasting my heart on someone whois using me as plan b or using me as a passing fancy? met my boyfreind on the site in april 2012, we spoke over txt for like 3 weeks and met up. we agreed that we’d tell each other as soon as we slept with anyone else for health reasons. but after three years of giving my heart to him i feel that i deserve more than that, i feel that he is being disrespectful and dishonest if he is spending all this time with me and saying he loves me, we are even doing 5 love languages together to help our relationship. i can totally understand having caution after being cheated on, but at the same time you don’t want to wait months and months only to find out this might not go anywhere. and as i touched on earlier, i do think it’s reasonable to demand respect from these guys. so, after two months and three weekend-long visits/dates, but knowing that he is slow to commit, when is a reasonable time to have “the talk”? we have been itimate and he told me he hasn’t been with anyone since he broke off his engagement last summer. he’s military, so his schedule is pretty screwy, but since my work schedule is easily manipulated, he proposed that i get it to match it as closely to his as possible so we have the same days off. it’s a good idea to let him know that the active profile is the source of much of this feeling (leaving this out could leave many of us guys, who can be dense when it comes to relationships, confused or surprised). in the beginning we talked about being interested in each other, yet if someone comes along whomakes us happier then we would understand as lon as we were honest with each other. i am sorry i know it is painful to hear . everyone and a while i would get on his phone or computer and check. expected to hear from him more, but i heard less from him. jessica – i think it would probably be best to ask him what he’s looking for in a relationship since that conversation hasn’t come up. the things got escalated pretty fast and basically we end up sleeping on a second date. cause unfortunately in my world if you like me, well that makes one of us.?Also since posting this, we’ve had more discussions, all of which have been helpful. he helped with my car, helped paint the shutters of my fathers house, my father is getting old now and it meant so much to me, he even helped with other things around the house, he said he “liked to take care of me. if i were in your situation i would feel a mix of hurt and anger. i don’t want to be walked over, and i don’t want to turn into one of those girls who checks up on him…. you sound like you’ve been communicating the way you feel about things to him, so he should know that you want something more serious.’s a situation i’d appreciate your perspective:Have been doing the match thing for a few months. though he already told me he wasn’t interested in dating other people, and we had both disabled our profiles a week or two before. but i do remember in the summer we seemed very close. i was heart broken when i saw it, and i text him right away confronting him about it…. the 2nd day away, he sent me a pic of himself in a towel. it’s just that the sent messages show when that user has been online). we were meant to get married next month and now it’s been pushed back to easter. i made it clear that i was not looking to settle down, but did want to continue dating him to see where it could lead, but could only do it if neither of us were going to continue to see other people. when a day ago he made a point in asking me how it was going on the site., if he’s going to say things like “you are not bound to him”, that makes me a bit nervous for you. you decided to meet and on your first date things go great. i also feel really guilty for the snooping online i can’t believe i have resorted to this i’m ashamed 🙁. 3 months in is when i saw he was still logging in……it upset me…. i let him pursue me and after two and a half months of being with and seeing eachother every single day and night we decided to be together in a relationship. then even though my fake profile kept telling him i wasn’t interested he kept asking telling me i (real me) was ok with this since he’d been ‘honest’ with me. i said it was up to him (i want him to take it down because he wants to not because i want him to…) i did say that him keeping his profile active made me feel that he wished to keep his options open and that if he wanted me to feel that way then to carry on. feel like there’s a lot i left out, yet it’s hard typing on my tablet… and trying to sum up feelings and experiences to a stranger. all that wasted time waiting for him to make the right choice only to have him start dating someone else. jackie – as with the other situations, i can’t say exactly why he would keep his profile up. you enjoy each others’ company, enjoy the same things and over the next month or so you start to date more seriously. we met later that day and he told me his friend had informed him earlier in the week that i’d been on it a bit and he was shocked and angry and that’s why he used this other profile. – i would generally expect that a man telling a woman that he would like to date her exclusively would be received positively. in the morning things were as usual great – he asked for my advice about some property & financial matters & we talked about everything under the sun. – it sounds to me like you were exclusive at some point (at least in his mind) and then later, without you knowing exactly why, you stopped being exclusive (again, at least in his mind). does he seem like he wants something more with me? sounds like you want to be in a monogamous relationship, and he’s trying to play the field. i asked if his feelings changed at all towards our situation. i told him if i ever considered dating another man i would be honest. i would rather have someone that challenges me and pushed me to be a better person every day, and i intend to do the same. since then i have been the happiest girl on earth and i am so in love i have never been. any insecurities i had were short lived – he has proved to me through his actions that i can trust him. i just want to share another way of looking at it…so maybe you need to change but maybe not. if after a week his is still up, you could try dropping hints: maybe mention that you took your profile down or talk about how you enjoy spending time with him. he did and had no problem giving me his number!’m confused because things haven’t changed since we met. we spend a good deal of our free time together, he’s met my friends and family (he has no one here, but his family knows about me), and we have an amazing time whenever we are together. after everything this guy has done for me…i just don’t get it…commitment issues? a lot of men are damaged and just don’t know how to love or be loved. the next day, he disappeared and went totally dark on me. maybe wait a week or so and see if the profile comes down on its own. Right is our advice column that tackles the tricky world of online dating. yesterday morning i checked again and it said ‘online now’ to say i felt sick was an understatement but i didn’t want to go wading in and accuse him when i didn’t know the story. good thing is, it doesn’t sound like you’re approaching this situation in a demanding sort of way. i love him but he wont commit, using this family thing as an excuse i guess, but then he still is online tlking to random women whilst keeping me in and out of his life? and if he’s not, you’ll be able to tell pretty quickly. my feelings for him were getting so deep and i wanted to be his gf. situation is a little bit different, so i don’t know if it fits this category…i’ve been doing the online thing for just about 3 months now, and have met some nice and not so nice men. he told my fake profile in his last email 2 days back that there was no spark between us & that’s why he kept it casual. told me he isnt keen on that idea but at the saem time how he doesnt want to make them unhappy. i told him i talked to another man on the phone. occasionally joke on how we get emails in our personal email accounts saying people are still trying to contact us and we should probably take them down because we feel bad that people are trying to contact us especially when you open an email in your personal account because it shows that you have read the email to the sender even if you haven’t logged on. after a relationship shouldn’t he spend time with himself instead of taking girls for a ride? however, after a while i think we both stepped back slightly due to this situation. i was on my way home when he texted & told me where he was late on friday. strange thing is, while i deleted my profile from the site on which we’d met, he hadn’t and i assumed he’d just cease using it or hide his profile and not renew his subscription but, turns out he has a match membership discovered by my suspicious sister whose brought it to my attention. are some very interesting posts here and you give great advise. the same story on above, i had the same story. come to find out that she was actually his online girlfriend. i think you should let him know that in the next few months you need the relationship to change: either he needs to fully commit or the two of you need to go your separate ways. – i’m guessing here but if i were going to tell a woman i was dating that i had taken down my profile, it would normally be because i would be hinting to her that i want to date each other exclusively. notice shes still going on this same dating website we met on ( i had taken mine off since we met) but this worries me so much that i asked if she still went onto the site and she said she did. i told him he shouldn’t be taking his frustrations out on me & that he can date my ‘friend’..Keep in mind it wasnt more than extremely friendly and jokey……….” he told me i was being needy but that he wanted to continue seeing me, but not be exclusive. on one hand i am his emotional outlet person but he won’t commit. if the two of you have worked out some understanding on a difference between exclusive and girlfriend/boyfriend, isn’t he still headed towards breaking that agreement? after a few days, i told him i’d done that and asked if he would. if you’re just not comfortable with that, it sounds to me like you could bring this up again. he always tells me that he has a great time with me and i’m his favorite person, but that he never dated much when he was younger and thinks he owes it to himself to date around now.. which is solely his decision… however i have the right to vocalize my thoughts which is what i did… i would never tell him to close his account and also to those of you that are upset that you man has his account out there… how do you know unless yours is out there or you are still online? there are times when we could hangout mor, but he doesn’t want to like i do. later that night i noticed he had taken his profile off and i was very happy. initially he asked me out first few times and then ive been doing it since. so i can see how the boys would struggle to manage that and think that continuing conversations online harmless… it is an enormous confidence booster, flattering to receive attention and the thrill of first dates really good fun. i’ve been dating a guy now i met online for almost four months now. i am not asking for a commitment or exclusivity but when he knows how much it’s hurting me why is he not turning it off? that said, she is regularly active on match and i’m a bit concerned putting myself out there with her she may not be ready more given the whole cheating matter she had to deal with. the next morning he begged to meet me and we agreed to brunch on sunday (9 jan). anyhow she clearly knew about me, and was very threatened by me. while it does look like he may be being a bit dishonest with you, there is a chance that he may, for some reason, think you’re not interested in a serious relationship. This week: Eva advises on the bold decision to admit your true feelingsBoyfriend is on tinder. i also said that i wanted to be there for him and support him, and that what he gets from me is honesty and loyalty, but that i require the same. tell him if he’s going to continue posting that he is single and updating his site, that you are too and you are also going to start seeing other people. similar story met a guy online 2 months ago we meet once a week on the. even though i told him that was one of the conditions for me if we were going to live together. is it something i’d want to make as a general statement for men (or women) in general? shellbell – i’m emailing you a response on this (sorry for the delay if you wander back! if he is honest and admits to having a commitment issue, could you give him more time? i am a little upset so a few days i set up a fake profile with photos of another friend he has never met and messaged him. have been dating this guy i met on okcupid for a few months now. in general, he was never pushy or anything, but the opposite, and i got the impression of him as being a nice and honest guy. i was able to get a hold of his phone last week and saw that he had the dating site application on it. it does make it harder him living in london and myself in suffolk as we don’t have what i would call a normal dating relationship which does make it harder. is not a river in egypt and you can do a non member search to check if he or she has lied to you before. he has a difficult time discussing a lot of emotional things. am struck by how similar my experience is to so many others. last week, while just hugging and feeling so happy being there, my heart was racing with emotion that it actually startled. there’s no doubt in my mind she is someone i want to date, be part of my life and take it from there and see where im this goes from there. online dating was an avenue i hadn’t tried and i was curious! i found he was still on there, not just on there, but online now and he had added a new picture with a shirt that i got for him for christmas. he cuddled me beautifully the entire night – it was sweet. i texted him that i missed him, i havent mentioned anything to him about deleting his profile, i told him i deleted mine and he said he cant delete his from his phone. have offered her to check my username/password to see that i do not have a subscription, told her to send me winks/emails to test it, want her to check her email message and see if her status changes, offered to call match to show my log on status, and now seeking advice. however, it sounds like you’re going to want to move the relationship to a bit more commitment sooner rather than later. i want to be with someone who is at least sure enough to put all the other girls in the world aside for a moment and give the relationship the attention and respect it deserves – for however long ‘it’ lasts – for whatever ‘it’ is. six months later and we now live together, he was new to the city i live in and hes been having trouble finding a job. don’t know what to do at this point – my friends say just lay low, wait it out, don’t contact him anymore and see what happens – my gut is leading me into the mindset that he found someone else while i was away, or just decided he went too fast and is now backing off way too much. – let’s imagine you met my wife and i for dinner., it is possible that he just likes getting emails to stroke his ego and isn’t looking for a relationship. he said that he finds me very pretty and hot. tinder is a dating app, it doesn’t matter if he’s not “very active on the app,” or not. sent the email not as an ultimatum but just as an fyi… and i am sure he will stay on line until he decides what he is looking for and if in fact it is in me. i feel that could be taking a toll on our relationship tho. i had spoken to him several months before we met. on monday he asked if he could see me on tuesday and i told him i wouldn’t mind but i wasn’t getting intimate since i didn’t like the idea of him flirting and dating other women.
When Should You Delete Your Dating Profile If You Met On
!, conversation was boring and didnt amount to anything so i just blanked him and deleted profile. i felt if he was into me then he would without asking him to. he goes out of his way to text me just to say hi, good morning, or see how my day is going. occasionally joke on how we get emails in our personal email accounts saying people are still trying to contact us and we should probably take them down because we feel bad that people are trying to contact us especially when you open an email in your personal account because it shows that you have read the email to the sender even if you haven’t logged on. he then texted me and said he too tired was but i saw he was on his match account.. i dont want to be pushy and annoy by bringing it up again. you can continue to hang out with him but start looking to date other guys as well? – i do like your friends advice to continue dating others. that evening me and my friend were going to move to another location and i texted him to let him know. i believed him, and told him not to test me like that again – be honest with me and talk to me about what he wants to know. we had an amazing day on tuesday from start to finish. this infuriated me, and to my utter shame i called him out immediately. last weekend we were supposed to go out but i got tied up and i told him and he was pretty bummed. he kept me in the loop of events for the following days until he finally left for turkey, and we spoke before he actually got on the plane. i told her i recently gotten an email and deleted it but i have not been on in a long time..but between the texts and the online dating profile still being live i am not sure what to do. the time august 2014 (now one year of dating), he was spending every night at my house, we practically lived together, even though he still had his own home. i so like him that i cannot help but hope he realises what he’s letting go of. i am a relationship girl – cannot do this casual/fwb stuff! we actually met up about a month ago and got along great and have a lot of fun together. six weeks isn’t too early to have a conversation about commitment. in other words, in many of the cases described in these comments the woman is put in a situation where she needs to force the “let’s be exclusive” conversation. long story short, he came and picked me up from the club i was at and he knew i was upset with him. just looking for a suggestion on how to handle this is all. he then said that he was going out at that time. i think you’d be better off talking about it now (assuming you can’t stop worrying) than waiting another four months and being miserable with concerns. expected both our profiles would remain active until we were certain we were right for each other and moved forward in the relationship. i’m still also unsure if i want to be in a serious exclusive relationship with him. so i went into my whatsapp (that’s how we communicate) and checked when my messages to him were actually read (i normally don’t pay attention to this), and it came out that he seemed to have been online at times when he told me that he didn’t have wifi on his phone., i’m not familiar with tagged but it doesn’t sound good. however, i do worry that the next time he tries dating someone else he might find himself interested in her and then you’ll find yourself alone. he said he could ask me the same thing and that i had blown up his phone all day until it died. during the process i did get the little ‘addiction’ niggle.! yes he needs to appreciate what he’s got instead of fretting about what he’s missing out on. is now going away on his own for the next week or so but when he is back i shall ask to see him. he did & told me his dad’s very ill – he seemed so upset. the assumption that guys see things just as women do is risky business…especially if you are rapidly ending relationships based on that assumption. things were going extremely well and i have never been happier. he told me he’s not into the casual thing with other girls, i know he’s active on his dating profile. however, i know has has a dating profile because a few weeks after we started dating my friend who uses the site told me she saw a profile for him. when i quizzed him, he said casual meant no rules & includes going on dates. i did my usual hey there sexy, he said lol…i asked him how his work thing was going, no response. we went on a road trip together, he paid for everything, went to the beach got a really nice room. i then said: ” i am the other girl” the look on his face was priceless especially when he realised that all of the stuff he had written (and there was pages and pages of very intimate stuff) was all sent to me. 20 minutes later he texted and told me i was far hotter’ in person. that was the last communication we had, and i am kind of glad that i didn’t say anything about the badoo profile, but i am now feeling uncertain of what really is going on, and if i should leave it for now or until he comes back in october? i confronted him about it, we broke up, and then he came crawling back to me 2 weeks later and deleted his okcupid profile. and my partner (he’s not “officially” my boyfriend) have been seeing each other since february. doesn’t he realise i am losing trust in him?’m so grateful to have come across your article here and am impressed by the fact that you’ve continued to respond to commenters for over 4 years now, wow! i checked, and again i was right on the money (i should have read this blog before so i did not do what i did again) i called him out, this time he flat out lied and got verbally abusive. but i was extremely bothered by it, it didn’t sit well with me at all. i was happy and i told him that and that i liked him a lot. we lived together over a year later and then he one day just moved out. have been dating a wonderful woman for over 3 months that i met on match. – was he the one who sent the text or did he receive that text? the daily matches argument/excuse is about as weak as they come. i understand his availability issues because of his work as a nurse, but i’m feeling this sadness and doubt inside me because it has already been almost a week since he last sent me a message. it was identical to the match account he had (still has actually, but there’s been no activity for months). jenn – i actually touch on this issue a bit in my article on when a guy disappears after a few dates. then today he calls me like nothing’s wrong and when he could tell i was uneasy talking to him he made a big fuss and said ‘well i can tell you’re in a bad mood so bye..if you need to lie, perhaps its time to keave. we have a great time laughing, joking, talking and we both have told each how much fun we are having and how excited we are to see each ofher again. we are both almost 30 years old, and i really want to believe him. these actions tel me that he likes me and is trying to have a serious relationship with me. and i don’t care how innocent it might be, it still hurts. tbh, i think we were both so shocked at how well we got on, how much we had in common and how much we were laughing. he pointed out to me the other day that he has a hard time showing affection and was asking why i stayed with him. so for the first time, i decided to do some checking, and did a search on his profile username. i finally pushed him and he admitted he and she had a sexual relationship a long time ago and that he had lied but he felt nothing for her then or now. gaining my trust, after my past, is not an easy task and he has managed to do it. me, if a month goes by after you’ve expressed your concerns and he is still refusing to remove his profile then setting ultimatums seems more reasonable. you’ve made a commitment to each other, it’s pretty clear to me. do with online dating site, so…what had this punk done? still he kept his profile up as “single” so i did too. was noticing a few things even when i’d be around his neck of the woods and invite him to join me and my friends he wouldn’t. i raised this with him, and he still swore blind that he hadn’t met up with anyone since meeting me and was responding that he wasn’t available for a relationship. finally bothered me so much that his profile was still active that i asked him about it. i also have a feeling that he won’t text me tonight. i recently signed up on another website and have been looking at other prospects because i feel even though i care about him, i don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket if he is unsure of me as well. none of this one foot in the bed and the other on the floor while exploring options. we had a mild argument about what was going on, and what it came down to was i told him don’t take me for a fool, and don’t take me for granted. he seems genuine but he won’t take his profile off & commit. he also told me at night that he’s missing challenge in his life. i want to trust him, but my heart doesn’t understand why we’re not together if he “loves” me? exactly the same thing happened to me with them – and at the time i tried contacting them, but i was ignored. at the same time i don’t want to be a mug. earl – did she seem to appreciate it the first time?, as a quick reminder, a guy who “texts you when he’s busy” and “makes an effort to see you” isn’t prince charming, he’s simply doing what should be expected of a guy you’re dating. despite that i felt absolutely not okay, he’s a completely one kind of a different guy from my previous dudes. if you play to your curiosity expect to lose that person. heard from him twice while away – one sentence texts, with no greeting or emoticon – i answered and then he never responded – both times were like this. non the less i started to warm up to the idea. all that being said, i do have some family issues in my life, i have a brother who has a drug/alcohol problem who is always getting in trouble that i have to look out for, my mother passed away 5 years ago but it still feels like yesterday. he had planned romantic trips for the two of us, we were together practically every day, we went on family camping trips, i met his parents several times, he was talking about future stuff with each other. i realised it was early days and though it hurt i let it go. unfortunately it seems that at this point you should have a conversation with him about this and where he sees things going…i’d hate to think that he’d be using you for a place to live (and hopefully that’s not it). we’ve even been to a festival and just went away for the weekend together. he’s mentioned having a vested interest in me, has talked about future (unplanned) visits, we text daily and talk almost every night. i wish these readers had written me beforehand because this is often the worst approach to take (at least from this guy’s point-of-view). until the conversation happens, i would say it is fair for a guy to keep his profile up. i keep chat with him, he just read it until i block him. about three months into dating, i knew i was starting to fall in love with him and i was bothered that his profile was still active, he would be on at least every other day. i have met his family, he has met mine and i have come to love his 2 children ages 6 & 9. lots of dates, exchange of christmas gifts, meeting family and a lot of his friends. he may like you, he may love you, he may be into you but…. and how much can i really mean to him and can he really love me if he keeps doing what he knows hurts me so much. after 2 months he asked me to be his girlfriend – actually an old college friend of his we met on the street asked if i was his gf and then a few mins later i told him that i did not want to continue to see him unofficially so he asked me to be his girlfriend and said he’d tried to ask many times but was too shy. a quick google search on his user name revealed another three, all with very recent logins.! it’s going to be hard to trust a guy after this. and a few times i saw that he had cancelled plans with me, in order to be with her – of course he had lied about why he canceled with me. that was fine, i did keep a check to see if hed come on and there was nothing for a few days and now its started again, hes been on and off for the last few days now. even after all this thinking and reading: i still don’t understand entirely. do wonder, how would he react if you had an active dating profile online? if you can’t get a guy to commit to date you exclusively (and especially if he then lies about it), he may be a giant waste of time. he was dating and sleeping w/ tons of women – that doesn’t really concern me too much, as i can’t say i wasn’t doing a little of the same, and we had not declared exclusivity at that point. if a woman had emailed me after i met my wife, i probably would have looked at the profile even though i knew i’d met “the one”…i think sometimes it’s more about wanting to know who was interested in you as opposed to pursuing them.’d suggest talking with him and encouraging him to let you know when he’s feeling down or tempted to create a profile…but you need to be open and understanding if he’s going to be that honest with you (so no attacking if he admits he’s feeling that way). he might already think of the two of you as exclusive (at which point you’d want to talk about taking any profiles down if you want to be exclusive as well). can someone, please explain to me what is going on because i see it as one thing and one thing only, i am being deceived in a very cruel way as he is clearly preoccupied with pursuing other women on dating sites.’m concerned telling her this may rattle her a bit givien her prior experience and scare her off. so we met and he told me he was glad i had pushed him out. i asked my friends boyfriends/husbands (some of whom met my friends online and some who are or have dated online in the past) they all confirmed clearly that if the guy dosn’t remove his profile voluntarily following the moment when it is obvious you are both moving towards proper committment (and not even ‘by the time’ you have committed to exclusivity verbally) then it is clear he is not entirely certain about you or he is not entirely ready to committ to a relationship. monday i texted him and we texted the whole day. yet after telling me he loved me, i guess i just figured we were forming a more serious relationship. the thing is he goes on his match account every day. a couple of weeks went by and he still hadn’t taken it down. he was bored, and it made him feel good about himself. is true that lots of people set up online dating profiles without ever taking action or using them to meet someone. the fact that he won’t allow you to post pictures of the two of you together but then has photos with his “online girlfriend” is particularly troubling. have said to him that if he likes, he can continue dating but he needs to tell me, so that i can do the same. he goes online every day brad yesterday he was online in the morning and in the evening. questions to you are these, one thing that sort of bothers me is that we are exclusive, however he only hid his profile. i told him i like the idea of living together, but seriously needed to talk about things before it could actually happen. his last message was that he was going to send me a message the next day…but he didn’t. so looks like he pulled one over on me and is still online. went through this with my now ex bf i met in july 2011 from match. and then he said “i’m not sure i see it going anywhere. in the begining i didnt have a problem with him still being active on the site cus it was early days, i was still on there too. i have never done online dating myself but because of my boyfriends profile i now log in under a fake profile every day to check his activity. both have 3 children, although his dont live with him and are a bit older than mine. to me this makes it feel as if hes expecting us to fail or something. so i checked online later monday and low and behold he created a new profile recently online and he was on that day. he hides his friends list on facebook and has changed his relationship status from “single” to hidden since he asked me to be his gf. needless to say, he has trust & commitment issues and i am understanding and patient….?If you want someone committed to you, this doesn’t sound like the guy. after reading many of these stories i have somewhat of an undertstanding that this is not uncommon. he gave me a key to his place also and told me to stop by whenever. i meet this guy on a dating site 3 months ago and we do have feelings for each other. friend of mine said that he is a pisces and thats just the way they are. i have checked simply out of curiosity and really to keep myself from getting to attached at this point. we saw each other at least once on the weekend and would text, email, im and phone throughout the week. he asked me to cancel the recurring payments in paypal, which i did for him (english is his second language and he’s not terribly computer savvy). he visited me one weekend (stayed in a hotel), i visited him the following weekend (stayed with him), two weekends pass and he came to visit me again this past weekend.
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i also think if she didn’t respond the way i wanted i might put my profile back up. we were approved he never moved in because he has his own home. i’d suggest you suggest to him that you meet out his way – if he responds positively and wants to meet, things are probably fine. the first time i asked he claimed to answer an email without logging in to a woman who asked him a business related question. we have gone on trips, and had wonderful dates, he told me i’m just the girl he’s dating. if he’s introducing this way to some people but that way to other people, i think you have a right to know where you stand. asked me about it in person i said i was checking his profile. have absolutely no clue what to do and i hope you can help me. i just immensely like him, and i haven’t felt this way about anyone. he not only read the email but he also viewed my profile. since our relationship has been a bit all over the place for these months, should i have even brought up the topic? i am aware that there is a 30 minutes lag off in okc, like you will still appear online even though you already logged out. if it’s not, you might want to have a more direct conversation regarding it…. we both said that we had a great time after it was over. i told him at the end, “i’ll get home and delete my profile :p” he goes, “so will i ren :)” so that night when he got home, we texted for about an hour and he told me what a great time he had and that he can’t wait til i’m in the same college as him so we can always be together. he is introducing me to his dad (who lives out of state but is coming to visit) next week, so thats kind of a big deal but yet he is still doing this…help please! it feels so much like a relationship and that he is warminig to the idea, but we havent discussed it cos we cant due to his parents and their plans for him. i realize every situation i’ve read is similar but i also know the answers will differ i appreciate any insight you can offer. jane – unfortunately, i’m not sure there’s much help to give here.?Any suggestions on how to deal with this now am i just wasting my time and just move on? have been dating a guy for 5 weeks, been out 12 times w/a couple of overnights. i also noticed that he never leaves his phone out of his sight (example: he brings his phone into the bathroom). i recently found that he had set up a profile on plenty of fish. and hes always cslling me, we spend every moment together that we can. as a matter of fact, making an issue of things at this point could create a problem when no problem previously existed. he’s opened up to me about lots of deep emotional things. there’s evidence that he may be talking to an ex…. ideas on how i can get her to talk to me? it’s especially bothersome if his actions suggest exclusivity even if he hasn’t declared so in words…and yet it is still acceptable in my mind for him to keep his profile up, even in this case., and yes, i am angry, justifiably, moving preparations are expensive and time consuming. he was so into me and i was into him, too. after i posted my previous concerns, my man and i went out to dinner and after that i asked him how he feel about us being exclusive and he hugged me and was silent for a minute then he said yes. i finally told him he need to set up a specific date with me where we could go out and talk about this stuff together and privately. retain some reality, because being online is so surreal and the rules of engagement so different to real life that some surely find it unbalancing. also, speaking as someone who doesn’t like talking on the phone all that much, i think avoiding phone calls in itself probably isn’t a red flag if he actively communicates with you in other ways. he probably doesnt even kno that i love him or that i still want a relationship with him cos i try hard to act calm and cool with everything…. now 5 weeks later i will be meeting his kids and going to a family gathering soon but he is still online. then instead of apologizing he yelled at me for knowing. he didn’t straight away answer me, instead he asked me, “why? we also slept with each other…yes i know it probably wasn’t smart to have sex on the first date, but after talking to each other that much, i think we both just went with the flow. sometimes i feel that maybe we rushed into things a little too quick…. those of you that ask why about how i found his profile, my friend created a blank account to check her dishonest husband a few years ago, and i logged on (with her permission)…my profile has been down for a long time. he says if you can keep your options open, why can’t i’ and i’ve told him several times i don’t want to keep my options open. read more: signs your friend is in a toxic relationship. he asked for my msn and said he is getting on with me shockingly well………. that being said, almost 100% of the time when i talk to women in this situation they want to follow the advice your friend is giving you: lay low, wait it out. i got another funny feeling one day, agian while waiting for his text. kinda confuses me…but i have created a fake profile on the same site with no picture and said that i don’t have any kids and made myself 2 inches taller and also put that i live in the town i grew up in. brad, i really enjoyed the post and seems that many of us experience the same issue. his job is stressful right now, but in my mind, if you like someone a minute or two to send a quick hello is not a big deal., often online dating doesn’t match the real world and i think that in some cases waiting for the commitment/respect to happen naturally is going to be a frustrating experience. he tells me for the first time that he loves me, i say it back to him for the first time as well, because i know it’s true, but i was never going to say it first. i keep creating these scenarios in my head and i know i shouldn’t.) last night i went on (my profile is hidden) and his profile is active for everyone to see. he then says, oh, i thought it was because of me. six weeks ago i met a guy from an online dating site. i think it’s more likely he still wants attention or that he’s lying (unfortunately). i saw that his profile was still up, which was a bummer since he said he would take it down and he hadn’t. i feel like i’m just there and he is still looking for something better and it makes me feel bad. you can read a book together but if he turns around and starts putting a profile online, what good has it done? that’s like saying, “the 0 i spent on my subscription is more important than what i have with you”. i then asked if he was still on the dating site and he said yes. know it is difficult to address this issue but i do worry that if you don’t, in the long run your daughter could be hurt more, not less. he told me that i really hurt him and that it will take some time to repair the hurt. he is now back on the dating website daily again. i told him i wasn’t the kind of person looking for a casual relationship and he confirmed he was also looking for a long-term relationship. low and behold, he had been online sometime in the last week, and had added new pictures. he has met my family and gets along great with them, i have met his mom and some of his friends. and he said that we are always together and i am always there, so he just started loving me i guess. at the end of the day, i think everyone needs to make decisions that they feel are best for their own situation. that said, it’s honestly hard for me to guess as each situation can vary so much! when you bring up the fact that his profile is up, do you tell him that it bothers you? he opened an email and my friends said he was online within 24 hours. the only interaction i have had with match is when i open to delete the wink/emails sent to my personal yahoo account. for when a guy knows that he has you, you’re screwed…i think that can work both ways. i should probably mention that i began sleeping with him very early after first meeting each other, but that did not mean i was serious about him or wanted a commitment. if he really cares about you, being open and honest like this shouldn’t bother him. a few days afterwards i got a text telling me that he got crazy news and that he couldn’t tell me now but would call me after work. in my mind the matter is so simply about respect and i find it difficult to understand how to tolerate the ‘continues to actively online date’ thing…. if he can’t give you a straight answer, tell him where you’d like the relationship to go and ask him what he thinks of that. it is being wise and mature to set clear concise boundaries to value and protect your emotional sexual health. we were seeing each other multiple days a week, but enjoying every bit of it. i had a longer night than him but i wasn’t going to pull back. he said that his ex did not want his daughter at my house anymore and that was that. we were very intense the first month seeing each other all the time and every weekend. think i’d try to shrug it off for now. obviously what you describe doesn’t sound good (in the sense that it seems like he’s telling you one thing and then says something online that is different to your “sister”). i can honestly say it was incredible for us both 🙂. we are at the point when we say i love you every day and we are often talking about marriage.!I feel as i am really, truly falling in love with him despite that. i txtd him the next afternoon when he said he was done work, and asked him if he could meet me somewhere because i needed to talk to him, i was having a bad day (it actually wasn’t about him, rather than my pseudo grandfather had fallen ill, and i just needed a shoulder to cry on). we talked for hours and both expressed how comfortable we felt talking to each other about any topic that you can think of. i was really upset (also was pmsing) and asked if i had been wrong in assuming we were exclusive. he will be turning 30 soon and i am 6 years younger. before all this i knew we have a whole lot in common and there was a lot of chemistry and sexual tension plus i really like him. and that’s most often how the “real” world works: the days of grade school where we are forced to ask someone to “go steady” are behind us. we made some mistakes by not talking earlier, but i did not want to use that as a reason for exercizing caution when i knew i would not go forward.… i guess the question we all want to know is: what is in a man’s head that makes him think / or not even think at all i guess from your comments? again, not with any type of ultimatum, but i’d let her know that you’d be interested in concentrating on dating each other exclusively. a couple months ago i started to have a “gut” feeling that he was doing things that he didn’t want me to know about. i can see why some people might not like their friends reporting on this sort of thing regularly…but if you’re close, she would probably appreciate it. i’m having doubts if he’s still interested but i view his page anonymously and he hasn’t been active for 2 weeks and also removed his pictures. for example, at the end of a nice evening together (especially if the two of you are commenting on how much you enjoy spending time together) you could bring up your concerns on not knowing where you stand in the relationship. a little reminder on what they’ve already found could do some good…and if it doesn’t at least you can be confident that you need to keep looking for the right guy. had no idea that i am currently having this anxiety because i was so afraid of losing him because i have done so many intimate things with him but i also am not a fan of how he behaves. i suppose that is were trust comes into place, and mine is a bit shaken. i know it’s fair game and it’s just a first date, but i can’t help but think this way. to me, it sounds like another guy who isn’t necessarily cheating but is struggling to commit. he asked me to come to his area next time and i just nodded. i relaxed and began to enjoy the journey, tentatively falling a little by little for him. they can be crazy about you and still want to screw the basement chick. – that’s its okay to continue chatting and even dating online while dating and building a relationship with one of us., let’s just say for example he was doing it because he was bored, but had no other intentions… well even that is dangerous because i personally know so many couples who have broken up over facebook accounts, comments, pics etc… it always just starts so innocently, a person looks cute, they say hello and that could lead to a full blown relationship/affair/fling. he got angry and said he wasn’t doing anything like that and he would take it off when he thought the time was right. but i never made it past 2 months with anyone because each and every time the guy would continue with an active profile i would feel disrespected, lose trust and belief in the guy’s intentions and force a swift ending one way or another. that i will want to continue in the same way knowing he is looking/browsing for someone else? don’t over react but do not ignore the nagging inconsistencies. a friend advised me to keep dating other people, but i’ve never really worked that way… but i do feel i need to back off a bit from this man. that or i would just cut him off… the guy i used to see from okc has a new gf supposedly but he is still on there.” i deleted tinder after he asked for my number because i wanted to focus on my relationship with him. not by his charm or anything, but by the effort he puts into being with me and everything. guess my queston is why does it seem like we are playing house with no real commitment? i get it and i will be patient and understanding. i told him i’d rather talk for 10 min than text for hours. i am still not sure how to handle the situation., forgot to mention, i go over to his place a lot and everytime i leave, he begs me to stay and says he hates that i have to leave. he is still getting messages from other women on there and i told him that she accidentally hit it (i didn’t even act mad) and he turned it around like it was me and said i was probably snooping (this time i really wasn’t! this is how your valentine’s day is going rhia. are you both okay having profiles up and options available? is not too much to ask that a man put other girls aside for the moment but sometimes it’s important that you explicitly ask it! are you ok with having sexual relations with one another while your profiles are active? i know it sounds petty but he is being petty by saying stuff like that to you and even being on those sites. i think you should (once again) talk to him about making girlfriend/boyfriend official? i talked to him about it that night, asked him if he wanted to date other people, etc… all the questions other women on here have said. he had a couple of messages received – one of which was from my fake profile.! he then texted me & lashed out saying he had had a bad day & that he felt he was being ‘witch-hunted’ & that he had spent money contacting my ‘friend’ & felt he’d been sucked in. know this has become a long message, but i really hope you find the time to reply. i told him i wasn’t upset but that it weirded me out and i need a partner i can trust. but again, maybe i misunderstand what exclusive means in this case. he changed the city to the town he used to live in, shrunk his height by 2 inches, and hasn’t put up a picture. i kinda don’t want him to see other guys in between the next time we meet up again. and my rule for kate is “just let me know what you’re thinking”. weeks ago, we got the exciting opportunity to attend the sex expo, hosted this year in greenpoint, brooklyn, to talk to sex therapist dr. but for some reason – i am resistive to be ‘all in’. surely… surely it means he is ‘not really that into me’ etc.’s what i think you should do: admit your feelings. again 🙂 just clarifying that the part i wrote about him telling his buddy he ‘sort of has a girlfriend’ and that ‘he is trying to behave’, was over a year ago – that conversation did not happen 4 months ago, i got my dates wrong…too much confusion, right! my sister looked on her computer from he account as she is on there, too. that being said, are there any creative ways where you could spend more time together even though you don’t have cars? in her case, it is very reasonable for her to expect her guy to offer some clarity on where he sees their relationship going. “if then it dosn’t work out boys – by all means go back online, chat and date all the people in the world that you desire! or he could tell me that he isn’t ready for a serious relationship. he had left it logged in and i noticed from the history he had checked some of the women out but he didn’t have a premium account. he say’s ok, but another few weeks go by and nothing.
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i texted him and said that i think if he wants to take this relationship seriously as he says (kids, marriage, moving in together, etc) then it’s probably a good idea to delete the profiles..and during all this, we are both still active on the dating sites…. of course, you should only do this if you could be comfortable with it. i’d love to hear how things turned out if you stop back! when we were a month into our relationship i told her i was not going to renew my match subscription because i only want her. maybe once you know where he stands, it will make it easier for you to make a decision? i’m just trying to have a clear perspective on this. he acts very much like a boyfriend but wait a minute he refuses to acknowledge the gf/ bf thing. we had a look and he has changed his profile to looking for women for friends. they like having women contacting them…even if they are rejecting all of them as it makes them feel desirable. wanted to write you before i did anything to freak him out the way females usually do. perhaps it’s a commitment problem, perhaps it’s a fidelity problem or maybe it’s something else…but regardless of what it is, it’s not a foundation you’d want to build a solid relationship on. this last weekend he finally got the courage to inform his mother that he had proposed (6 months ago! he refuses to let our relationship status to be known publicly and i’m not allowed to post pics of us together on my facebook and tag him nor make it known that we’re together. it doesn’t matter if there are a hundred other wonderful things, without trust, there is no sustainable foundation. then he will always know that i found out and, the guilt he may feel could jeopardise our relationship. anyway, i wasn’t worried about the profile as we were only a few weeks into dating so i had just forgotten about it.’m gonna see how it goes over the next month, if he’s still going on then he doesn’t care about my feelings and i’d prefer to be someone’s one and only, not their until something better comes along! however i told him i am relationship girl & not at ease with this casual arrangement. i got a strange feeling in january 2014 that something was just ‘off’. have both been under a lot of pressure and stress this past year and i haven’t had the guts to bring it up. saw each other every weekend and we would stay the night at each others house…i trusted this guy, he made me feel loved by his actions. he’s also a bit of a dipstick when it comes to computers (we’re both in our 50s and haven’t grown up with them, though i’m a lot more computer literate than he is) and given how i’ve seen him struggle with searches/purchases on ebay, i can appreciate that he might not be able to get his head round hiding a profile on a website so i haven’t cut and run. and after a few mins said i needed to go. and transparency are vital in a healthy relationship i feel for you. he asks me out every weekend and also at least once during the week. we talk on the phone most nights since we are busy and live about 45 minutes away from each other. he did, when we spoke i said i was upset, i just seen his profile and how it changed and we were literlally with each other hours ago. it’s been a wonderful week and i decide to see if he’s up to anything else and low and behold i find him a jdate, jwed, passion, hotmatch, and zoosk. i have been told by a close friend (who is male) that i need to be chased and show him that i am not at his beck and call.! i just found out today he has another profile on pof i want to date other men but now i feel stuck…. we had plans for friday but he said the weekend was best spent with friends. my biggest worry is my daughter, she is very attached to him and tells him that he is her best friend and she loves him, and he tells her the same. i know, because i have a friend that is on the same dating site and she keeps me updated, unfortunately. he said we are not dating but we couldn’t establish any status quo. i in your situation, i would make it clear to whomever i was dating that absolute commitment was of the utmost importance to me.’ve been talking with a man i met on a dating site for a couple of months now. i’m really freaked out about commitment – i love this guy and have a relationship with him like no other, he accepts everything about me, he adores me, is kind, gentle and makes it his daily goal to do things that make me happy.” so obviously, i creeped today and you can see (even if you’re not a member with a profile) if a username of a profile exists. 4 units so busy but he bought it to my attention that he saw me online previous day. which btw still says “singe” and “actively seeking a relationship”. over the past few weeks we’ve been out a couple of times which has been nothing short of fantastic! what if this other guy he sees has a car and they meet up regularly? one thing you shouldn’t do is verbally attack the guy or start throwing out ultimatums.?Now it’s been 4 months and i wanted to see if he’s being true to his promises and i decided to check. i haven’t said one word about it since but i am wondering how long to wait. i confronted him with it, he did not just blow me off…. he really truly think that its going to be okay with me? thoughts are that yes a girl makes this decision more quickly – instinctively not wishing to harm the budding relationship. started talking to a girl for around 2 weeks, we met on a dating website and have been talking daily., you’ll probably want to check out my previous advice on this topic. and lets just say that because i went out for a girls night instead of hangin with him, that he responded to this other woman. i was told once, when a dude knows he’s got you, you are screwed cause he will not invest then. the funniest thing’s that i asked him directly if he was seeing anyone or sleeping with anyone & he denied both. and now my feelings are starting to get hurt (typical girl). if we are “exclusive” (without titles that express commitment), than why the need to continue prospecting? i really do appreciate the advice but it’s not going to work out. it’s so frustrating for me that the website charged him (earlier than they should) and after he had cancelled his sub. a month ago, i complained about his dating profile still being active.! week four, another i love you, and a few more fun filled evenings. we tlk veryyyyyyyyyy veryyyyyyy often and i guess i havent mentioned being official in maybe 7 months :s maybe i should again? i asked if we were exclusive and he said yes. here we are, i have doubts and feel uneasy about the whole thing. i told him it was iffy and i had hidden my profile because i’m not sure about it all together. he held my handhe put his arms round me and we had a lovely time once more. really do get on very well, which is why i’m hanging fire at the moment. i’ve talked to a lot of women where this type of situation can drag on for months only to see the man start dating another woman. he seems like a great guy, and the compliments are flowing but something is off. do text and talk on the phone quite often but i had came to realise that its already been 3 months and his profile is still active and he goes on it quite often. that we are at different places in regards to what we want at the moment, although we do want the same thing in the end, a loving, solid relationship. from my snooping, it seems that he’s been talking to another guy that day i wrote that message. he texts me the other day and says he it on pof just out of pure boredom and then tells me he misses me and wishes he could see me. his only real response to all of this is that he is a different person now than he was then. plenty of guys will lie and lie and lie when caught. there is no shame in publicly searching as a guest when he has or she has already lied or had been interested in emails and winks from people on there once exclusive. i then handed him the piece of paper and headed for the door. but it was shocking to see what all he had been doing during that time and i was completely in the dark about it. took 6 months to tell me he loved me, but still has his profile up even tho its hidden…and i just grew on him like a comfortable old shoe…lol. said, if you’ve only been dating for 4 or 5 weeks, i think i’d recommend you just be patient for a while longer.. he calls you “baby,” a great way for him to not mix up your name and another girl’s name. may be hiding something…although it may not be that he’s looking to date other women. part of me thinks it just his response to getting caught but i’m really in no place to judge him. i brought it up with him, as i couldn’t pretend i hadn’t seen his profile. i asked him if things were still good because i really wanted things to work out between us. im not sure what site i met him on or if he is even on a dating site now. so my question is should i be concern about his profile is still up and he’s still checking it, since i never mention or ask him to take it down. also: don’t mistake these things for a guy catching feelings. it’s not clear to me what you’re trying to figure out…. between monday and thursday i noticed he was logging in. ok he says, let’s talk about it, then we get interrupted by one of the kids and never come back to the topic. once that talk is done, i think it’s much easier to get a real feel for how much respect (or lack thereof) a man is showing. i still think its about respect… and not so much about committment. except the fact that my bf wanted to date me and see me, but still thought there was someone else out there “better” for him, so he kept the site up. it hurt so badly, and it made me feel extremely dirty and disrespected that he would mess around with me and talk to others the same day. we decide on a break but it doesn’t happen. well, he apparently took me requesting time to think as pretty much a break up. or what should i say to him to make him answer me and we become like we were used to. would you be amazed by the love i have for my wife? people change – but i don’t want to be a fool about this. and never be ashamed to check if that person has lied to you. we are both very well established and pleasing to the eye. i even had one reader who had gave the man a hard time the day after their first date when his profile was still up. it takes is one act of unprotected or oral sex and a habitual liar with high risk behavior to expose you to a lifetime of emotional and physical problems. once he wants to commit, you’re willing to commit as well. after the first date their was no question weather or not if i wanted to see him again, hope to be his gf and etc. i met him online, soon after romeo proclaimed adoration and love for me he “deactivated” his account as he said he is % sure i was the one his been looking for. set up some boundaries to lessen (not eliminate) the likelihood of this happening to me again. he feels like he has a ‘clean slate’ now, and can see that he absolutely wants to be committed to me, he said quote “i’m all in! i am protecting myself from a man who had to answer an email to some woman on a dating site to be respectful. how he hates the fact he makes me feel the way i do with all this. then, he has been trying to sleep with my with no strings attached and even today he told me he misses me and wants me, but still sees people that he met on the site, but i am the only one he really likes… sure…..the “needle in the haystack” ohh that makes me so mad. i am in my late 40s and was seeing and sleeping with a man in his late 50s who i learned was very active on the dating site we met on. there was more to the text that told me his close friends were there at the pub with him. last night i didn’t hear from him at all. lied to me when he told me he had not said ‘i love you’ to anyone since his ex-wife. and he replied with a nice good morning text as usual, apologizing for not texting yesterday but he didn’t go to the wifi place but went to the base and finished settling in and going to bed early. the weekend, i also heard a tinder notification come from his phone and i asked him why is he still on tinder. i was already assuming we had broken up so i was surprised. they are not looking out for you if they still are checking out the menu while proclaiming they are crazy about you. he calls me every good name in the book, such as “baby”, “my girl”, and the works. i want to trust him, and i have… but i found out that he still visits his datig profile regularly. then a few days later he once again “ignored” a text. i guess i’m writing because it seems like we have a good connection and that he likes me (he even told me so) but he hasn’t made a move to discuss exclusivity and he doesn’t seem like he’s interested in giving up his profile. seems he wants me on his terms but doesn’t want anyone else having me. where has all the trust gone, now i feel he’s been doing this the entire length of our relationship? do not trust online dating anymore too many bad experiences and too many shady characters. would say things like “you don’t want to work it out” etc……he told me we were just on a “break” not broken up that he wanted to prove to me breaks could work…. he agreed that he did too, and things were good. i only work 5-6 hour days, and then i was back to staying at my place but we were still constantly seeing each other.. he has gone from asking me to move in to changing his mind. he said that when he’s feeling down he can’t go to the doctors, as it will go on his medical records that he is depressed, which will affect the court case currently happening with his daughter. feel like many women want the commitment/respect to happen naturally and i understand that desire. now the only reason i knew to look and see if he was on there was this gut feeling that i got. i know you may not want to for fear of what the answer will be but in the long run it’s better to know sooner rather than later in my mind. girl, i hope you’re sitting down, because i’m about to get real with you. not in that place to talk about exclusivity but one thing that i find bothersome for me is when i see he is online immediately after i’ve left his place or he’s left mine. i’d hope that he’d respond positively and remove it. just met someone this past weekend and we “hooked up” for a few days and it was nice…and i find it weird that he still emails me on the site seeing that we have had such a hot weekend… i have stated that i find it weird to communicate since he and i have each others phone number and i also stated that i date one person at a time and that if he chooses to continue looking that is on him…. i’m headed to a wedding across country and he’s not happy with the fact that i have a date. said he was hurt that he’d hurt me and that he never had any intention of actually meeting anyone. he met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. he said that he doesn’t use it and doesn’t care about it and was planning on taking it down. mine is pretty similar however, like most others, i really don’t know how to handle it. i took my profile down and never asked him if he did or not. i am trying my hardest not to bring this up again, but the recent picture really has me thrown for a loop. while i agreed to casual & laid back – and only cos he said he’s just come out of a relationship & doesn’t want something full on (and i have too but i am ready) i did not saying anything about the seeing other ppl business. he said that he wants to continue dating me and that he wants to work on things. i thought everything was great his parents know all about me i’ve met his friends and some family. we dated for two months before we became intimate and i just assumed that we were exclusive. she said all the right things and we spoke of only being interested in each other. said u were on there he replied with yea but he has 2 mutual friends. he left he kissed me on my forehead & cheeks before the lips. i called match to make sure i did not falsely accuse him of being online if he was not.
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i don’t know what to do, put my profile back up, question him again or what..he wasn’t being extra sweet to me in his texts…one night from my hidden account i looked on match and noticed he had his profile up, he even uploaded a picture i took of him. – if i understand correctly, you’re saying that if he doesn’t decide to take his profile down in 6 weeks then you’ll not talk with him about it and just end things? i told him again that it makes me feel as though i can’t trust him if his profile is still visible because that means he is still single. he said that he finds me very pretty and hot. he was like im sorry, i should of told u that i changed it as he was getting lots of messages and girls asking him out, so he decided to change it! no reaction from him but when we were talking about the weekend it was clear he had no dates. maybe i just answered my own question and it’s just hard to let go of something that seems to great. since we see each other daily (he gets mad if we don’t) i just don’t know how to deal with this anymore and its taking its toll on me. would it be acceptable if he continued to go along to such events and chat and flirt with other girls? i told her i recently gotten an email and deleted it but i have not been on in a long time. where he stands may not be where you hope, but he should still know where that is! i know its wrong to snoop but i did i went on his cell phone and found that he has an open tagged account. as i usually contact him 1st but he responds like right away, like he is sitting on his phone almost. there were quite a few other things we talked about, but that was truly a big one for me. how do i let what would normally be a wonderful relationship (if it were not for his dating profile) progress, or how do i let it go? a week goes by and it still says active within 24hours. i’m afraid that i’m starting to fall for him. and this was the first time in my life that i had actually dated a variety of men at the same time. so as our conversation goes i knew he was referring to me the girl he was seeing. this might come off as being too ‘charming’ or ‘player-like’, but it’s actually not. men are slower to commit and many also need their ego “stroked”. one day, you’ll find a dude that does all of these basic things, plus actually treats you right and doesn’t send you mixed signals like this guy does..but im starting to feel a bit strained because i just dont know where this is all going. i also told him that we agreed to be exclusive and that having an active profile tells other women that he is still single and it is disrespectful and unacceptable to me. there were multiple messages, but i was only able to see the last text that says “please do” with a smiling emoji and that same double pink heart emoji. after a couple of weeks i told him that i had deactivated my profile and he told me that he had cancelled his subscription. we were out with his family and friends yesterday and i just happened to catch a text message on his phone that said “what are you doing babe” to the very same girl. you care for him and while some of his actions declare he feels the same way, other actions make things less clear. second, the idea that he can’t delete his profile because he only logs on from his phone is silly…it take 30 seconds on a computer to remove it. i told him i was getting a bunch of emails and just didn’t feel like dealing with them. the reader above waited six weeks and i think that is very patient. that for the first time since his divorce, he is ready for a full on commitment, and that it just took him a really long time to get there. everything is great so far, we go out for dinner, watched movies, sometimes just stay in his apartment and ordered pizza and cuddle on the couch and watched a movie. i’ve don’t a ton of research on this and cannot find any explanation of how a dating profile can show recent activity if the user has not been on for supposedly over a year. we started seeing each other initially as friends – we have a lot of shared interests – and then one day he jumped on me and the relationship became increasingly physical.” so i told him i was going to start seeing other people…. after that we never said another word about it and have been hanging out like nothing happened. he’s been too busy to delete it and also his friend is using it to find women.?It saddens me to read all these stories becuase i am on the same exact boat as most of you. convo with me, pretending to be another woman was not flirty, it was more obscenely friendly tbh and he was keen to open a convo, be friendly, (overly maybe) ask for msn or skype…. it seems that this was the choice he was making prior to you making an issue of it so i really don’t think your actions need much scrutinizing. we were going to hang out all day but he told me yesterday that it’s his friend’s birthday on saturday, i mean how do u forget that?. i brought up the subject and he insisted it was nothing that he had an app on his phone and would click on it when bored but that he would remove the app. i doubt asking him about being friends would scare him off but at the same time you wouldn’t want to repeatedly make him uncomfortable about where you stand so i’d recommend just accepting things as-is for now. if he can’t answer where you stand after your first conversation don’t go and demand to know by such-and-such a date. if you don’t get a response to that you’ll definitely know something is wrong. i’m assuming it’s been decided that you would date each other exclusively if he’s saying that he loves you. figure with all the things he has done it sounds like he is interested in me. one thing bothers me though, his profile in the dating site is still active – though he told me before that he rarely checks or chat with women in it. it sucked because my friend offered to give me rides to his dorm but now that’s canceled.’s a long article just discuss having a guy take his profile down! as i’ve said previously, if you can do this without anger or making him feel threatened, i think it will go better. let’s lay them out so you can digest them:1. i didn’t ask him if he was going to delete his, i assumed that of course he would. after that i did what any respectable women would do and i deactivated by online profile. i immediately drove over to his house, and asked him (not in an angry or confrontational way) if we wanted to date other people.’s totally okay to meet a guy through tinder, and there are definitely some gems on there that are boyfriend material. we act like a couple when we are in public and he loves pda. i never had the impression that he just wanted sex, since he didn’t exactly initiate it, it just happened while cuddling on the sofa, watching a movie together. have been on 5 dates with a guy who i met online, i really like him & feel like we have a good connection, but he has not yet mentioned exclusivity & deleting our profiles. and i hope it goes without saying that when you enter a relationship where you both are only interested in each other, at that point the multiple dating would stop! he always will have one job and continue to look for a bigger and better job even if he has no intention of leaving the one that he has. i bring it up, he says ok let’s talk about, and bam. not quite sure, or just putting it aside for the next one. i asked him about going to the movie again and never heard anything back. and he said he had logged in to show his friends my picture that i was the highlight of the weekend. in fact, he has since told me that he is actually glad i went through his phone and handled it the way i did with him (holding him accountable to it, ready to dump his butt, but didn’t attack him like the tasmanian devil). he also tells me that he hasn’t told any women that he loved them since his ex wife – and they have been divorced 11+ years at this point. then i also felt very curious about whether he was still looking to meet other people, so i wanted to log in to see if he’d logged in (to the uninitiated: you can see the last time a person has logged in if you click on someone’s profile). he says he cares for me, likes being with me, and likes the way things are but i don’t think he’s committed to me. i would be eternally grateful because at this point i feel as if i am going crazy. i dont know, but the last time i tried to have an indepth discussion about something with him he said i was “pushing” him and we broke up for 2 weeks. actually, he kind of chased me online for a week before i gave in and talked to him. again, i calmly asked him about this, and he seemed genuinely confused. to play devils advocate: let’s imagine he totally forgot about this profile. the next day he says he went online and couldn’t find me. said he is only seeing me and i shouldn’t worry…but…should i? so far, so good – until we were both looking at something on his laptop, and a dating website came up as one of his most visited sites. i asked him on sunday and he said he was in there cleaning up his inbox before deleting. find out how i failed at first but then had great success with online dating – download my free 100+ page online dating guide ebook today! i just don’t want to him to like someone more than me. have for the most part what i tell my friends an “effortless relationship”. when we were saying goodbye i told him i would miss him and he said i am already missing you’. the site was deleted and i never heard anything else about it. approach it from the stance that you want to understand where he’s coming from (but also that you think you should be taking the profiles down). i want to give him the benefit of the doubt but the miles between us and the unknown are really bring out the jealousness in me and i don’t like it. he began texting numerous other women, and even had a one night stand with a younger woman while he was out of town. i don’t want to tell him i know about the profile because even if he appologises and deletes it. How do you tell if he is interested in dating you exclusively? i was getting really tired so we called it a night. i’d hope that if there was real chemistry, things could work out (cars or not). he also said he has friends he talks to but no one that he is seeing or dating. he answered back telling me that he knew i’d been online too. his last email he said he was thankful to me for giving him the kick & the confidence to get back out there. do you care and need to open a wink or email once you are exclusive? i told him no way cause i have a life to which he said how about saturday day time? i have told my parents and he has claimed that he’s told his as well. that being said, i believe a month of spending time together is a good general time frame to expect some concrete definition to your relationship, especially when you’re going out of your way to interact with each other every day. we all know that what a man does speaks louder than what he will ever say. are there guys that such a statement is true for? at least some of the guys will admit they’re keeping their profile online updated or keeping their options open. so if he doesn’t take it down within the next week, and i approach him about it again, wouldn’t it come off as pushing? in some cases, this could cause what he saw as a healthy, budding relationship to end abruptly. week three we went out and he said the big “l” word to me. don’t beat him up and don’t jump to ultimatums., if you let your account expire and can prove that to her, that means you can’t read or reply to any communication so there’s really no risk of your profile being there. then in febuary, i was at home and i needed to use his computer to chek and email. this may not be the most polite way to go about things, but it’s their prerogative. easier access to women and men verses the old fashioned way of courting and meeting. i guess the details of everything doesn’t really matter, i don’t trust him to be faithful to me long term, and i don’t trust him to be truthful with me. we haven’t talked about exclusivity yet, because i don’t want to pressure him. begin to open up more about how you feel but with no expectations or demands (at least not in the beginning). i could see that most of the time he would try to set up a date with her first, and then me when she couldn’t. a fear of commitment, soaked with very, very committed conversation and feelings? it wasn’t just becuase of him but out of 8 guys i met everyone lied aobut martial status & job among having 10 year old pictures up. i have no shame in making sure after i had been lied to once to check again to be sure. this might provide him time to come around while at the same time giving yourself a chance to find someone who’s looking for the same thing you’re looking for. dating profile is still active – is he interested or not? gatherings out of state, day outtings with his kids, hanging with his other friend couples (he has always introduced me as his girl), spending long weekends together…. i took mine down right away and i just figured he always had his up. i am really confused cos y’day he was online 3 times i haven’t even gone into my account. everything i’m hearing is that if you open the email (even to just delete it), match will now show you as active. i once heard a comedian say, the reason people marry another is because subconsciouly they think ” she/he is the best i can do for where i am in my life or for my leage” when i heard it, it was a funny but it definitely has some truth to it. but then he would see that i’d logged in, and then he would think that i was still looking for other people. week I hear from women who find their boyfriends on Tinder. a lot of guys (this one included), the clarity at which a woman is able to say something exists isn’t clear to us at all (and i speak as a married man who has conversations like this from time to time with an exasperated wife who just doesn’t understand why i don’t get the obvious). then about two months after, i went on the site with my friends user info and searched for him. whether he’s just checking until it expires or he renewed after he showed me the cancellation it still means he clearly isn’t that into me.! i said i really like you and have knocked back dates from others too as i was seeing and sleeping with him, he said, he knocked back dates too! it’s awkward now because i don’t really want to confess and say that i created a “fake” profile because of my own insecurities. instead i think if there is no mention from him after 6 week i would find it easier to just ignore him & move on to dating over guys., as i’m getting this question more and more often, i’m hoping the details i’ve included here can help you reach the point where he realizes there is no reason for him to keep his profile active any longer. is it too late to salvage anything…or was there anything to salvage? you been dating exclusively for 3 months or have you not had a talk on being exclusive? that said, even if this guy is an idiot with computers who isn’t getting together in person with women he’s meeting online, if he’s continuing to log in, it’s not unreasonable to conclude that he’s doing this to feel that he’s either keeping his options open, or that he’s looking for the ego boost that comes from strangers finding him attractive. out online dating sites like tinder or okcupid for the first time can feel like your sailing in uncharted waters. he called me his girlfriend and said that he doesn’t see anyone else. i would also like to include in here that she has sent him text messages from her phone, and is talking about setting up a date with him. to be honest, i’m not convinced that all the guys doing this even understand why. to make a long story short, he and i are perfect together in every way but, there won’t be a fairy tale ending where we live happily ever after, not after tonight. to find a new bf on dating apps — according to dudes. your situation is a little different because it sounds as if he didn’t have a dating profile when you started dating but now he has one (? then i can still look online and see that he is on those sites almost everyday. though now, mostly i do it to see if he’s on. so i took a week to decide if this was someone i really wanted to be in a relationship with because we both have kids, and i wanted to make sure that if i commited i am doing so with the intent that i will stick around for awhile knowing we will start to integrate with the children., if my wife told me that she put an online dating profile up because she was a pisces…that wouldn’t fly with me! then i said how about we just put this off till next week but he seemed eager to see me cause he said no let’s meet on saturday. i don’t know if i should give him more time or move on to find someone who is more committed to me. notion that men are afraid to commit while women are not isn’t true. he said he had in the past gone from one serious relationship to another and wants to see what dating around is like. she later said she would do the same and we took off the auto-renewal but we both never bothered to hide our profiles. you’re not sure how to approach it, i’d basically let him know what you told me: you feel bad for snooping but you were suspicious and now you’re very hurt by what you found. me, this guy is saying he loves you but he is not showing it.