Dating a recently divorced guy relationships

I'm dating a recently divorced man

sounds like the guy you were involved with was a piece of work also. i’m dating a guy who is two years separated and who i am not that attracted to. even amicable divorces are painful, and a divorced man may proceed with hesitance. we didn’t get divorced for years (until he wanted to remarry) because we amicably worked out our child custody and financial issues and it just didn’t seem vital. it should be said, regardless of being divorced, when men are anxious in interpersonal contexts they tend to speak in abstractions and, to a certain extent, use ambiguity to reserve their assertions, until they have a sense of how these are being received. longest relationships were in my 20s when you could accuse me of soul-searching, taking risks, and yes, possibly being eum in that i lived for me. bottom line for me, and i’m sure many here, is quality relationships. even not being super-interesting, nice or good looking those guys still can get pretty awesome women, cause those women have very little choices – the number of available men (not even excluding “the flawed” ones: alcohol/drugs abusing, violent and etc. divorced and settled into his singleness, yes, i am open. and there are plenty of never-married people and people who have been divorced for decades who are jerks. in my opinion he would of gone back if she wanted him back he kept me as an option and when it got too difficult to handle two relationships i suffered badly felt low self esteem, not worthy but he couldn’t see it.’m the one who is divorced, and yet i found this very insightful. i would go out with very hansom and arrogant guys that women would line up to have sex with, and the guys new it and treated them like trash. i know we both had high hopes for our blossoming relationships and i’ve read your posts and feel your hurt. have been dating and falling for a man who is recently divorced; wrestling with a lot of worries and questions – mostly in my own head. the odds of someone getting involved with a newly divorced person and have this result are pretty low. you can get divorced and laid all in one day, with no effort thanks to the web.

Dating a recently divorced guy relationships

guy who asked me out by txt was recently seperated & just.'s not uncommon for a divorced man to want to take things slow. are the times we’re stuck with, maybe they’re worse than they were in the past regarding relationships, maybe not, but the point is that we’re going to have plenty of losses and disappointments, and some of these will bring us to our knees. i also did not heed my own self when i told him that although i didn’t mind talking about past relationships, he was speaking as if the divorce had just happened; not 3 years ago., despite all this, relationships offer opportunities to heal, though the irony is, it’s healing from other, past relationships. my code word for the 1st woman a guys dates after his divorce. i think it starts with upbringing and family relationships, which leads to the choices we make in mates, and then from there blossoms into eu. i applaud every woman on here with children or a child, i applaud the successful women who have a home, have savings and a nice car and you are telling me horror stories to make me weep because at least i can say on my end i am attractive, intelligent, funny (yes, i can be), and a pretty good catch in the ocean of jellyfish and sharks but am i up to the same snuff as most of you who have worse to say about the relationships you are in. i was married to a gentleman and had subsequent relationships with assclowns who had excellent manners ,most of whom wanted to marry me. i cried and cried because i really found the guy desirable. recently had a date with guy, who currently divorcing his wife…he told me on the first and only date, that his wife decided to divorce him after being with him for 20 years and 4 kids together, the yongest one only 4 years old! i would rather be alone with my pug than have to endure another guy and all the bs that comes out of their mouths. my feeling is if he was so much a prize and a good man to start with he wouldn’t be divorced (most likely) and hence unavailable in the dating pool. guy who is keeping a harem or exes around for an ego boost/options is definitely a flush. some newly divorced had their marriages die a long time ago. seems to be a lot more allegedly available guys that have major emotional issues, financial issues, addiction issues., now, at my age (like noquay said) the only options i have are those men who have been divorced.

tips on dating a recently divorced man

Dating a recently divorced guy relationships +Recently Divorced Dating | 8 FAQs for Divorced Guys

Beware These 5 Red Flags When Dating Divorced Men | HuffPost

in fact, this may be the most important thing you can do for him to re-learn how to be in relationships. you may have to plan affordable dates much of the time, especially if your boyfriend is recently divorced. sadly, when sharon's relationships don't work out, not only is her heart broken, but so is her son's. sure maybe the guy would buy you a meal but then his pay would be so much more than yours that there was no way you could have afforded it. you are assuming everyone who gets divorced is traumatized bc of and during. my best friend is getting married next year, and another acquaintance who met a guy on line is having a whirlwind of a time in which he takes her on trips all over the world. of course some people are separated or even divorced numerous times due to shady behaviour or due to a tad too much fast forwarding but that’s stuff you’ll find out through due diligence, possibly quite quickly if you have your feet on the ground and are listening and watching. has been involved with another woman for 20 years, not married or divorced but fathered children by her that he raises. i had dinner with a famous comedian 2 months back as i gave his show, ironically about the reciprocal nature of relationships, a good review. what most divorced men have been through, women find they respond encouragingly to, and rarely assume, even the slightest positive attention. i had relationships that lasted 1-2 years but i did not think i was ready for the responsibilities that come with marriage. i went to the bar to discover her flirting with some guy she had met. after being divorced most men have a hard time trusting it’s ok having their needs met, and he might distrust your stepping lightly as giving him enough rope to hang himself. hate to say it but now i am highly suspicious of the divorced/separated man. ex, who i tried to be friends with all summer after we broke up, and pretty much was lying to myself, recently started talking to someone who isn’t divorced yet. my dad was divorced 3x and the reason was definitely the former. if her beauty was everything why is he divorced from her?

How to Date a Divorced Man: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

has been divorced for many years and has minimal contact with exw as kids all grown up. this guy has a boatload of problems, and is not over the ex. used to have a hard and fast rule of no divorced or separated men until i hit 35. trying to date guys who don’t care about social/environmental justice, do not read much if at all, are clearly less intelligent and caring than my ex has been kind of a bummer. i guess it depends on whose data you read, but i keep hearing that women of all ages are increasingly opting out of relationships. suddenly, blow jobs are the norm and other such intimacies afforded to men in personal relationships bestowed on them at hello because women have to be competitive, they have to have that edge to keep them in the game. i met a guy who hadn’t got over his divorce after 20 years! all she sees is a nice guy, with space in his life (though, left by his ex) and, unlike typical single guys, he appreciates, and knows how to be in a relationship. he’s actually a pretty okie-doke guy who told the truth as far as he sees it being in it to his long time gal pal that even he has difficulty understanding why i haven’t been snatched up off the market yet. relationships don’t have to wind up in marriage to be successful and fulfilling. agree totally, and this name calling and bitterness was something that made me very uncomfortable with a recently-separated man. after sam divorced, he was desperate to meet a woman and start over. i agree that porn has a malign influence on personal relationships but it isn’t universal and men are not all acs. i don’t even want to “work” very hard at relationships. since he’s such a good guy, i’m going to be very gentle but firm and resolute in telling him that i don’t want to continue trying to be friends when i’m unable to downgrade my feelings. the divorce clown does not fix the reasons he got divorced- so he is still full of problems.’s the paradox of having a relationship with a recently divorced man: the risks are predicated on challenges which are the result of his preexisting circumstances that, apart from preexisting affair, you’ve had no part of, but yet are asked to.

Dating a Man Who Is Separated but Not Yet Divorced? | Psychology

yet while divorced men potentially get to re-experience being desired and having sex initiated, they also have to put effort in paying attention, and staying engaged with their new partners. whatever this guy is telling you, it just reeks of bs. separated 4 years ago, reconciled for 2 years and divorced right before i met him. i have always believed in good manners, consideration, showing respect, building trust, showing appreciation, providing support, being reliable, on-time, and involved in my relationships. there really is no time limit on getting over it; i dated someone who divorced in 1990 and still was angry about it. most people go through a breakup or few, and it’s not a ‘flaw’ to be separated or divorced hence there’s no reason to go ‘oooh, they’re separated and i’m a hot mess hence we should be good together’ or ‘they’re divorced and i’m not good enough anyway so who am i to talk? are numerous men who are actively working to improve male-female relationships, and it is totally ludicrous to blame all of our relationship problems on men. i tend not to focus on that too much, because all it takes is one good guy, right? the ac was my age; lesson learned plus so many guys my age have small children and my parenting days are over. initially you saw this is as part of his context, the aftermath of his being divorced. i just stopped seeing a guy for a variety of reasons, but big one was that he wanted a relationship with me and i wouldn’t/couldn’t. am a self-confessed virtual, and have been a fallback girl for an online guy (who lives 1000 km away! i do worry about having to nursemaid, so i avoid the outta shape guys; already am nursemaiding my dad because of his bad lifestyle, don’t need to repeat that lesson. also paints with a broad brush about the lack of decent guys, which i find personally insulting. one guy i dated hadn’t had another relationship in 6 years or dated. chronic adolescence doesn’t work indefinitely, and these guys, although they aren’t really aware of it, are being cheated out of a basic human experience as well: the satisfaction of becoming who they were meant to be, as mature adults who like and respect themselves, honor their commitments, live by principles, discover their own noble and divine nature, and do good in the world. but i have noticed, even in my own relationships, men often look to women for certain social cues when they’re feeling clueless.

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The Challenges with Dating Recently Divorced Men - Larry O

i would’ve married prematurely, to a man who couldn’t provide what i needed (because i didn’t know in the first place in my early 20s), would be most likely divorced and dating the same bs i am running into now, except i might have children thrown in the mix and think my running into ac/eum men has more to do with my divorce status because i wouldn’t know that it would be the same if i were single. million americans get divorced each year, and many of them date and eventually remarry. you seem like a very nice guy, eager to trust. being realistic, i would caution against them, but i hope to offer some understanding about divorced men, why relationships with them can be difficult, and how to approach the challenges while maintaining your integrity. the really good looking guys, like the at work ac, have their pick of awesome chix, while we are told “settle”, learn to be alone, quit being so down and negative, generally by folks currently in good relationships. used to consider the amount of time a person is broken up/divorced/separated but now i know more often than not, chances are there needs to be a “rebound” between the two, a bridge relationshit for the walking wounded to the emotionally available.’s not about judging a person for being separated or divorced – it’s about judging the overall situation and working out whether it fits with who we are and where we’re headed. women responded to, “men’s challenges with separation and divorce,” expressing frustration and bewilderment regarding relationships with recently divorced, as well as seeking advice.. i just wanted to include my own anecdotes as a divorced male still looking for a loving relationship. creatives i meet seem sensitive, concerned, and readily accept that relationships start as friendships…with a click. stay away from this guy, as he made you his mistress. you’re right in that there’s no mention of having dated the average “joe blow”, only guys with the more glam occupations so her scope of experience is pretty narrow and prejudiced. i don’t date guys with girlfriends anymore too, and i find out quickly the relationship status of a guy. i’m dating this guy for almost 4 months now and we became really close. i was only looking for a general opinion from a guy’s point of view. if you're interested in someone who's divorced, you can easily pursue a happy relationship with this person as long as you keep some things in mind. are probably hundreds of guys that would love you just the way you are that you aren’t even considering because you are too busy wondering why some ac isn’t giving you the time of day.

Reentering the Dating Scene After Divorce | Focus on the Family

everyone, i have to say i am overjoyed at finding baggage reclaim and wish i had found it much much sooner, having had two relationships now with emotionally unavailable men since i separated from my marriage ten years ago.!My policy: i never date separated or newly divorced men. they usually met while he was going through, or recently divorced, began as a friendship, or fling, but quickly deepened just as it also became apparent he was unresolved about his divorce. point of all this is that decent guys that believe in what it take to have a worthwhile relationship do exist but can have it beaten out of them also., i was harboring the fantasy that, after a certain age, divorced men are less suspect than someone who has been eternally single. in addition to retiree saturation, there’s a predominance of divorced women. the men i’d met who were in their 50s-60s and never married include a guy who stalked me and two hoarders.. if you typically struggle with the uncertainty that comes with being with somebody who still has their previous relationship to resolve, or you know based on experience that you’ve had your fingers burned by being involved with separated or recently broken up people, don’t go there. i was divorced, my next husband had reached the ripe old age of 52 as a bachelor with only one short-term cohabitation in his whole life – and we got along famously. of these guys will never get over their wife, girlfriend or whoever especially if the woman has dumped them. get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that i wanted to tackle this tricky subject. it’s loving and affectionate, but the degree of engagement, attention, and carnality of new or early romantic relationships is rarely there, nor is the effort. relationships cannot be healthy if there is one who is “taking care” of the other. had a very limited dating-past because i was a ‘nice guy’ with all the negative connotations i now recognize. this is the same guy who told me a few days ago he would want to have kids with me. seeing as i didn’t deal with the breakup etc after we broke up like i should have, i am just heart broken and it hurts to think of him with someone new, who isn”t even divorced yet! in some respects, suzy is right as some of her gal pals get divorced and in some cases suzy is incorrect but years go by of dinners in front of the tele for one.

'Time' isn't the only factor when considering dating a separated or

’ve always had a rule about not dating separated or newly divorced guys. agree with posters who say that freshly divorced/ separated people should be assessed on their behaviour/ attitudes rather than on length of time passed since separation. guy is obviously a player who trolls the online world for willing victims. i live in the capital of one of the eastern european countries and all of my foreign friends (guys) just can’t seem to understand how our gorgeous, smart, kind and educated women marry our grumpy, disrespectful men, most of whom seem to let go of themselves after they are 35 or smth.’ve been through this myself, i thought that as i was friends with the guy many years before his breakup with the wife i was different and that he wouldn’t treat me as a temporary band aid to his issues. mrw, a few months ago i decided to investigate what a guy would find with even the most cursory search for online sex. he isn’t what suzy hoped for or deserved but she makes the most of it but deep down inside, even this is unsatisfying as the elder man has lived, loved, buried, divorced, raised 2 kids and is frankly just looking for good company and maybe a nurse if necessary. met this guy online, literally chatted for half an hour before he suggested we meet for a drink as we were both unusually free that day. this really shocked me when i divorced and it ain’t a world i want to participate in now. avoid the traditional types: that never worked for me, the men who live thru their children & grandchildren, or deify or dun the dead or divorced wife.’ve heard the recital of why can’t i find a nice guy that takes care of me and makes me laugh, while all the unspoken superficial requirements of “and be over 6′-2”, with george clooney’s charm and social status, tim tibows athletics and build, and bill gates money, are the real limiting factors.” she met ac/eum/narcs/jerks and other undesirable mates, but never the guy who cherished her and loved her. in most instances these relationships were never explicitly established or mutually ended, but unilaterally effected by the men detaching and cutting these women out of their lives. she suggested that he develop relationships with other christian men for support, rather than seek out women for emotional comfort. i hope not for her sake but he still talks about his dead wife constantly and recently took this lady on a holiday to all the favourite places he went to with his wife. my friend is a good, loyal guy, and his keeping in touch occasionally with these friends about life events was harmless. i’m specifically talking about henpecked guys where i’d be the boss.

Dating a Divorced Man? Here's How to Make It Work - YouQueen

i’ve spent most of my 7 years single with few relationships in between. terrible as this sounds, it’s understandable, given the effects being divorced has on men, but it’s also preventable, the relationships with them salvageable, and while these have opportunities, they do have as many challenges. relationships do not work out because of the people in them, not because they’ve had a failed marriage. infamous comment in the 80’s from women was that they found it easier to sleep with a guy than go to dinner with him because it was shorter and they didn’t have to carry on a conversation. are certain things you could reasonably expect from most boyfriends that may be difficult if your partner is divorced. i am not going to tell you what to do, but that you are in the state you are in over this guy speaks volumes. started dating again and was charmed by a widower, but recently learned his wife passed away only a year ago. older, wiser and back in the scene except now she meets a divorced man and thinks, well, let’s see if this will work out. well he wasn’t even divorced, was separated for under a year with no lawyer, no divorce in sight. a step further and i get nervous, and apparently several steps further make me freak out and dump a very nice guy who is now heartbroken. guy is a friend and this friendship has been a great insight into a separated man’s life and it confirms my boundary that i will not date a man who is separated. lady i know is going out with a widowed guy, the ink isn’t even dry on his wife’s death certificate and she thinks she’s onto a winner. what the new friend doesn’t know is the kid’s old friends had recently become mean and told the kid they didn’t really like him or his toys.. definitely don’t assume that because they’re separated or divorced that have a phd in commitment or that you’ll get the same. no kate, i’ve been in such similar circumstances that i wondered if it was the same guy! i found myself in a real-time video space where women of all ages have set up webcams in their bedrooms and solicit guys to pay for “private shows”. go to several churches and thereby know at least three dozen women who’ve never married (probably never had sex), divorced and didn’t remarry or are widowed and didn’t remarry.

Dating a recently divorced guy, need some advice. (marriage, girl

read here and on the path forward forum about women who go from one jerk to the next and keep trying to figure out their shit in the process, and yes, we’re a lot wiser now, but i throw down a challenge that most of us would be in perfectly normal relationships right now if men weren’t such assholes by and large. every guy i’ve dated or considered dating after my marriage ended just fails in comparison. that’s why it’s important when dating a recently divorced man to go slow, and maintain enough objectivity for both of you. guys like that are more deceptive, largely because they’re deceiving themselves. i know of quite a few people who were told to wait and come back when they’d had some more time/got divorced. if a divorced man is not ready to meet your needs, you cannot have a healthy relationship. i will not involve myself with a divorced man unless there’s been a good deal of time and already a buffer relationshit.’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.–that’s a good point about divorced guys often quickly wanting to get back into a marriage arrangement. these guys, my age group peers, could’ve done the same. women at the same time weren’t looking for a nice guy because they wanted the excitement and challenge of being “the exception,” and didn’t want to make any commitments. also i’d been dating this guy for 18 months and i’d not be introduced to the children and he never told his ex i even existed! If you're interested in someone who's divorced, you can easily pursue a happy relationship with this person as long as you keep some things in mind. but immature, selfish men and their inability to give us the relationships we want aren’t holding us back from happiness – the bigger problem we have to watch out for is bitterness and cynicism. in the summer time i dated a man who i believed to be divorced but was only separated, and for less than a year. there are many little things that may feel like a snub or a rebuff when dating a divorced man. lady is more an acquaintance rather than a friend and i think from the way she behaves and warns all the other women off she is in love with this guy.

Dating a Recently Divorced Man? Here's What to Expect

son is 19 and is an old fashioned gentleman, treats his lovely girlfriend well, knows he wants a good relationship, marriage and children, puts in effort and expects it back, thinks porn cheapens and interferes in relationships and that online dating is a load of rubbish. i feel so unattracted to most of the guys i meet my age because so many of them are arrogantly dealing with their post-divorce issues…or they are 70 pounds overweight with no hobbies. i’ve got over long term relationships with less pain and time than this. i stress, that is if the majority of women do desire intimate,loving and mutual relationships with men. but common sense probably hasn’t had a relationship with a recently divorced man. many of the responses, women asked, why do divorced men run so hot then so cold? initial relationships, a divorced man is like a kid with a new friend. when most men are newly divorced they behave like kids in a candy store! is a fair point, fx, not everyone who’s recently separated or divorced is necessarily eum or an assclown. my gran married a seemingly great guy who turned out to be a violent, aggressive drunk. you will never get this guy to treat you the way he used to, that guy doesn’t exist. i meet and develop various relationships with men continually, and most (not all) are selfish, entitled and demanding of everything without any consideration to what they should offer in counterbalance. 2 relationships with this type, my rule is…avoid being the 1st woman they date or “good-time mary”. don’t believe all men are this deceitful, as this guy is a special breed of creep! that’s certainly one reason why your relationships don’t turn out well. they don’t want to settle for guys who want superwomen, at the same time not being ready to invest something themselves. availability and openness are the basic criteria for developing new relationships.

Dating a recently divorced guy, need some advice. (wife, men, love

a guy about my age turns up and simultaneously is trying to hit up both me and the barista student. a divorced man may be somewhat hesitant or non-comittal at first. and far, the biggest complaint though about recently divorced men is their back and forth.’m very sorry to hear of your unsavory relationships with your ex-wife and your gf. dating a divorced man can feel like entering into an alliance against a common enemy, although that commonality is nil, if only incidental. divorced church-goers try to convince themselves that god's command to abstain from sex doesn't apply to them — that it's for the never-married crowd. some of us became mentally divorced from the spouse years earlier. with divorced men, present a mix of ordinary and unique relationship challenges. do not expect a divorced man to be able to spend a lot of money on you. someone is recently divorced, they may have hesitations regarding commitment. the first 3 months were the honeymoon period (as with my ex -bf) and then after that you keep trying to recapture the guy that sucked you under and he is not the same. i don’t care too much about money so long as the guy is well kept, pays his bills and isn’t looking for a meal ticket. cringe when i see how many confused girls and women in various forums question whether they are clingy/ needy, just cause they want to call a guy they like or want to sort out where things are going after several months of dating…. see, the reality is that most divorced men had realized the value of their marriages. therapist said any involvement with a guy who’s coparenting requires a lot of trust. as this article points out, there are people who have been divorced for years who may be less available for a r/s than someone who has mentally and emotionally moved on before signing a decree. i go for the brainy guys is the only shared quality i see.

Beware These 5 Red Flags When Dating Divorced Men | HuffPost

12 Tips for Dating in Your 30s | MyDomaine

, if he’s waiting for a narcissist to admit fault for anything, you may as well wish him the best of luck, move on and keep yourself open to meeting a guy who’s not frozen on the spot expecting the impossible from his crazy ex. in retrospect, i guess it was a bit casual of us but i don’t think being separated rather than divorced is always a giant red flag. keep harping on the significant change i saw, experienced and heard about from my other girlfriends and guy friends around 2006 when men no longer dated women as they did in the past: i. we may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘well… i’m of a certain age so i need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. it’s pretty common to hear divorced and married men complain about the lack of sex in their marriage. another single never married guy admitted he was selfish, played the date down as a friendship thing then wondered why he was single… again cue flush. i did this dance for over 2 years with a separated then newly divorced man who blew hot and cold and waffled about loving me or being ‘so angry’ about his ex and he still broke up with me after all my caring and compassion. he’s a nice guy and i am learning to have really strong boundaries about him still being married. but sex is a big weakness for a lot of guys. when becky asked him how long he'd been divorced, he admitted that it wasn't final yet, that he was living in the basement of the home that he and his wife shared, and that they'd only been separated for three weeks. i am 3 years single in the jungle, 2 years divorced and the thought of a relationship now actually terrifies me thanks to the ac i have met along the way. to women who read, Men’s Challenges with Separation and Divorce, and expressed experiencing bewilderment dating recently divorced men. i don’t think breaking up with me is tied to his seeing her recently, but i guess you never know. recently pondered that if all women rejected ac behavior, men would change. last time i found a guy attractive – completely eu with too much ego – i just told myself i´d soon get over finding him attractive. very fact that i’m attractive, outgoing, personable, have manners, have my own place, have a career, have goals, have pets, have a garden, have skills, have perception and self-awareness leads me to my main point: the men are not approaching us or even maintaining relationships in the same manner they did in the past. it is societal, i sure as hell hope it doesn’t take 50 years to develop healthy protocols for sexual relationships.

What to expect dating a newly divorced man dating a recently

women grieve relationships before they end, men grieve them after they end. if one woman a guy picks on line has expectations, well, there are a hundred more to pick from. he'd like to date again, and some of his friends say he should start looking for a woman now — after all, he's getting divorced soon. at least not overly and i will maintain most of them were actually pretty good guys in all respects. we cannot debate that maybe, just maybe, our suze was fine and had self-respect enough not to settle for just any ac/eum and sadly, she never met the good guy because it didn’t happen. when a guy tells me he is separated or newly divorced – i give no more than that brief conversation. if, instead of her friend, suzy had met a good guy, emotionally competent and the like? has been divorced for only a year, but would like to start dating again even though her two boys are still in elementary school. women seek shared experiences in relationships, while men common interests or proximity., i’m with you, if i hear a guy bagging his ex or calling her names i’m out. i wonder, because at one point our relationships were running neck and neck, and now mine is for the most part dead, and yours has been floundering. even though each of us are individuals, much of the concept we have of ourselves has developed within, and derived through the relationships we’ve had, and continues those going forward. when dating a divorced man, the relationship may progress slower than usual. between paying for lawyers, and things like alimony and child support, it can take a few years for divorced people to find financial stability. a divorced man may have hesitations about advertising the relationship right away. we have to remember…it’s us that is unavailable that makes us pick these guys. a divorced man may enjoy your company at first, but become nervous if things get serious.

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