How to get rid of dating a married man

How to enjoy dating a married man

but if you really want to get out of an affair you can do it!. i try to b strong, everyday i think of ending it with the married man, but when i see his pic on watsapp, i get carried away n numb! it is life altering and if there’s one positive i found in all of this, it’s that i’ve learned a lot about myself and why it is i was targeted and trapped. they’ve been happily married for about 6 years and their daughter adorable. well after 3 plus years of having this man be apart of my life, i decided enough is enough and walked away. just need to keep reading your stories to give me the strength i need to get through this… thank you ladies..I decided to make this comment because i’ve read so many posts about “the wife” being the problem (obstacle, barrier, etc. but i am crying everyday, and many days i wish i would just sleep forever and not have to deal with anything of that., think of this his wife has no peace of mind, and married to a cheating scumbag, and you have freedom x. he wud come to pik me at the airport even if my flight lands at 3 am, whereas this disgusting man wud not bother to ask also if i landed safely, or for that matter drop me at the airport even during daylight! you become an easy target for those who don’t deserve you. trust all of us who have hoped for a different story, but didn’t get it. the married ones who do get back with us will do so temporarily because they miss us or we coerce them to, but the same pattern will play out. he tells me every thing when we started dating he told me his a single dad when i found out the truth he denied ever staying with her but his never taken me to his house he tells me its me he wants to marry but his doesn’t act ive dumped him 5times im now tired he will apologise threaten to do a lot to himself i find myself forgiving him. it is going to be hard, and if you need professional help, please get it. i know we will both be sad… but our relationship isnt like it used to be anymore, this is down to the situation we are in and how all the lies and secrets and times apart and holidays apart etc etc just get on top of us…. i can almost scream at the top of my lungs because so many of the women on this site, are in denial and completely brainwashed and just don’t want to believe what i’ve been saying for months is true.. i know full well i will get responses and feel bad for him that i’m not there for him, on the days leading up to his dads funeral., heaviness is a good way to describe it – i’m having days where i’m ok too, and then i suddenly get hit with terrible sadness and heaviness. he broke up with me so many times, one time he said i’m a flirt, another i’m lying to him about not sleeping with my husband (i was), he doesn’t trust me…. am also dating a married man for one year 2 months. but it’s scarier to think about how living off the crumbs of your married man will destroy you. wasn’t convinced – after he admitted they’d been together for a few years, and had moved in together, i knew it would take longer than that to get over her. 15 round of iui and this time it took a surprise to me cause the sunday he said they did not think it did we had a great time together the tuesday night and wednesday night i got the facebook message (thats right a message) that is worked. in fact i think so many people hide in their marriages. how do you get through a breakup up with a married man, its for the best i know but my heart hurts. you need to look at taking care of yourself and your child with this man. it almost was like it was the first 8 months we were together. have been seeing my married man for about 5 months, have been sleeping with him for 2 months and we have been intimate about 5 times. matter how many years you have been loving this mm, as long as he is not divorcing, nothing will end good. a few months ago, a married man came to me (let’s call him david). but in saying this you seem to be conveniently forgetting that many women having affairs with mm are also cheating on their partners! i had found out, he never forgot me and because of the dynamics dated many who had similar traits as i. i am married and our marriage has issues but i have been living in denial. 10 months ago i am a married woman with an arranged marriage years ago. we constantly talked about growing old together and our lives and marriage would be the envy of everyone around us. it took about 9 months for me to eventually admit to myself that he is married.. we came closer, went on holidays n stayed together weneva my husband was out of town. the affair continued because i had fallen in love with this man. i know that this – not being with a him or any other man who is not mine – is the best best decision for me. don’t get me wrong, as beautiful and as loving as it was, it was still filled with lies, trips with his wife, and extensions on “his” deadlines. forgave him since i had no evidence but what was strange is i never knew where he stays which shows that he stays with someone since then ive tried to break up with him like 5 times but i find myself letting him back in my life again when i breakup with him he tries to ask what the problem is his so caring all ive dreamt of but his someone else’s man. he messaged me after coming back off paternity leave and we just fell back into the usual routine but the guilt is getting to me more. there is no nice way to break up, affairs are always very messy to get out of. i feel like i will never find another man like him that i can love.. “i couldnt get out of bed” or “i was with my wife. he broke up with me so many times, one time he said i’m a flirt, another i’m lying to him about not sleeping with my husband (i was), he doesn’t trust me…. don’t forget to look in the mirror and acknowledge you and who you are now abd tge person you were before you got sucked into this situation. i don’t get why my heart doesn’t stop loving some one who keeps hurting me. how do i leave the man that i am so in love with. my biggest fear has been that i won’t meet someone who i connect with in the same capacity because i, as well as many others, feel our married men are/were our best friends and soulmates. he will eventually give in whether in text or in person, then you will get hooked further and end up with disappointments. during that date i asked him if he was married and his reply was yes. a year we've been dating, we of course have to keep this secret for the two of us, we both are high-executive level at work. i have been with a married man for the last 12 months. 15 months seems like a short time compared with some, at the same time, 15 months too many. tuesday was day 5 with no contact with the married man and i had unfollowed him on all social media that day. we work so close together that i have no way out. the absolute turn about that a married man can affect, focussing totally on his family and leaving you wondering whether you ever even existed, is staggering. it’s the most painful way but its the most effective way to get you to heal. i know i’ve become the “other woman”, “the mistress” and even though he tells me differently, i know that as long as i’m in the picture i’m essentially breaking up a family and it’s killing me. he also told me so many lies like he wasn’t sleeping with his wife but i found out she had a miscarriage two weeks ago. all ladies who r thinking of breaking up with your married men, i think we have to do some pre-break up actions. when we are older and married, we are bound to that relationship legally and everything we have worked so hard for our entire life can go poof, or we lose half of it…so we stay and numb ourselves into believing this is the way it will be. ive been there and we tried many times to break up but didnt work until his wife found out about us the 2nd time. this saturday will be week 3 of no intimacy with my married man.. we continued being together despite my husband’s doubting on me..live the emotions and get everything out of your system, and one day you will have had enough. i was with my married man 2 years and a half.. my ex married man left his work like 2 yrs ago cause he didnt want to continue there and my dum quite the job too. getting hurt and giving love to someone who makes us miserable is not being kind and is definitely pain inflicting. and believe me there have many break up attempts in the past. i am an attractive and successful single woman but this behavior of mine is very self-destructive and only i can fix this part.’ve tried so many times to leave him before, but i can’t stand the thought of not only having him as my lover, but also as my best friend. 9 days ago ok so i have been with a married man for 2 years. can honestly not tell you enough that things get worse and not better, don’t let the situation get more complex when you’re also close to his wife. i am a smart woman…a business owner…i have raised 3 college graduates…i am no fool…but when it comes to this relationship i am lost! i’m in almost a 2 year long affair and it’s been off and on so many times and we both can’t seem to let each other go completely. every time i get the courage to think i am going to say it to him i dont say it. my whole world started revolving around him, i would end up taking time off work just to be with him during the weekdays and surviving on only 2-3 hours of sleep just to ensure we get to spend the maximum amount of time with each other and then one day he mentioned that him and his wife are going for the ivf procedure. they lie to get what they want and once they have, they don’t bother anymore. once, why can’t my heart and mind just work together? if i fell asleep before saying good night, i’d get the cold shoulder. i know he still has sex with his “woman” and he has never lied to me. married man contacted me today after days of silence, saying how much he misses me and doesnt know what to do. forward five months and i still can’t get over him. he told me he wants to work on his marriage but is on a dating site and i found out he’s seeing other women. i know it sounds mean but this man has taken me through the wash-rinse-spin cycle one too many times. it’s a huge mistake – destructive emotionally, spiritually, physically, socially – to have an affair with another woman’s husband. after searching several websites to help get over this yucky, gut wrenching feeling, i ran across this site which has helped me realize that i am definitely not alone. i have cried too many nights away, the pain as he always take me as second place, calling only when he is free, shame as people will only know you as the other shameless woman. he says when i was ready to go further with us he wasn’t and when he was i already married. i got pregnant during our first year together and had a son. i feel tired of feeling half alive, although my life is full with work and kids and friends, that need to get validation just doesn’t leave me in peace. it would not be malicious intent if there were a modicum of honesty to tell your so or have the character traits to settle for so little with a married person. my ex married man has no children and says he doesnt sleep with his wife bla bla. the attached man (he is not married but been with his gf a good 12 years, they have a business child and mortgage together) helped me escape my violent crazy ex about 11 months after we got together. relationships with married men are so painful, even if it starts off seemingly innocuous and fun and both parties “agree to the terms. the married men who refuse to let go of their marriage are the types that find too difficult to face their problems and to deal with reality so they need a fantasy to escape to. is utter rubbish and now i realise, a free man can be loved from head to toe inside out 24/7 so much more than the attached men! the toxic ones are intoxicating bc there’s usually crazy chemistry and your brain gets addicted..wow 5 years…i hope i don’t get caught up for that long! i originally posted a couple months back when i was feeling sad and lonely due to a change in my married man’s behavior. however, i wouldn’t be where i am today without my many prayers to god being answered in little ways and i know one day with all the hard work i put into finally caring for myself, i will be given what i truly deserve in this life and that is a real true love all my own, even if it’s just from me to myself. tomorrow marks one month since i ended things with my married man and while i do miss him so much every day, i am doing better than i thought. you are not alone, we are so many, left the same way, like if all we lived never happened and never happened…but the best thing you can do, is live for yourself and not let yourself be his puppet even when he doesnt want you in his life anymore. i think the way he talked about getting married was so nonchalant that i sort of didn’t believe him. this man who is in front of me is a stranger and is nothing and no one to me anymore. i even researched about woman moving in with their new partners into their ex ‘marital’ homes to be mature about it, and some women were great, saying it’s now their home and their memories and just bricks and mortar…. my children figured out he was married (damn social media). just ended it for the 4th time with my married lover. she told him the kids would call another man daddy and to move out if he didn’t end it immediately. and he had been married for a long time now n it lacked spice n spark. one, his brother is a married man and two, i was indeed in love with his brother, but the conversations continued and now feelings have developed into mutual attraction. i agree with you not all married man are monsters and intended to hurt us in the start but in the end we all get hurt and has to carry on with the guilt, shame, disappointment and bitterness for i don’t know how long. then he told he will divorce his wife(he is married since 25 years with one son, and one daughter who has died at the age of 3, who also shares the same birth year as mine), but i don’t wanted to be a family breaker so i forbid him not to do so. be prepared to face the reality that breaking up with a married man is difficult and painful – but the best thing you could do for yourself. when i can help others out of the same dark pit i was in, then i feel as though the pain and agony of getting out was worth it. the romance isnt there anymore either… i feel the last few months for sure i have wanted to protect myself and started to hold back a lot more… i thought this would make him try harder to sort the situation out… but i asked him outright last week when will he be with me, he doesnt know. that he had listened to a couple of songs that were mine and his when we were together and he feels horrible for how he treated me the last few weeks while we were together. and in that dream, he tried to send me some kind of…links, and when i clicked on those links, all i could see was how he proposed sweetly to his wife, how they got married, how they are happy together. before i told my married man no contact he told me he want to talk to me about his work and something that happened i am so tempted to text him and ask him about it, but we have to be strong it is very very hard! despite knowing all of the terrible things i have learned about him, sometimes i get this wave of intense love for him when i remember how i once felt and who i believed him to be. it takes a lot of self control, which is something lacking in many people these days. my mm basically doesnt want to do this anymore bc we are both married. of course i am caught up with a married man and i am starting to realize how much i want it to be over. think about your life, your husband’s and that man.) how did he expect us to live together and raise a child if he was married -no response. this is one of the best tips on how to break up with a married man: cut off all contact and leave him alone. 17 years same man and we have a child together as well that nobody knows as i am married now too. to anyone that is starting an affair with a married man or considering it please run like hell. unfortunately, this man goes hot and cold with his emotions. we always talked about having kids when we lived together for a year. u just walk away from someone you call your soulmate and just go on living with another woman for the rest of your life…. this man really loved you, wouldn’t he want what’s best for you and let you move on with your life? what i find so difficult to wrap my mind around is how absolutely these men can turn their backs on you, however caring they may have been when you were together. i’m going to shut the new married man situation now before i get hurt or hurt anyone else more. i told him that i appreciated him stopping by and hoped thinges get easier. most woman who are in relationships with married man or involved go through a lot of psychological pain and suffering, low selfesteem. here, you’ll learn how to break up with a married man – and even more importantly, you’ll discover ways to let go of someone you love. then friday came, and midday he was off, to his real life. as much as they say they love you, no man who truly loved a woman would put her through hell like this. i told him was i never had a problem with him but i cant be a sidewoman. you get out of it completely and you get relief from the dark feelings in the heart. i think these things are part of the reason for why i am now in a situation where i’m the other woman. but it was with a married man which means there isn’t a person in my life that i’ve been able to talk it through with, and i’m still going through absolute hell. now 27yrs i met my married man 2015 when i was 25yrs he really pursued me for ayear but he never told me he was was still with the mum of his twins he told me he was asingle dad of twins. it is life altering and if there’s one positive i found in all of this, it’s that i’ve learned a lot about myself and why it is i was targeted and trapped. truth is, while you’re getting the golden period, she’s being devalued (manipulated – see above); and when you’re being devalued, she’s (or a new source of supply) getting the golden period. he is the kindest, gentlest man i’ve ever met. now my merried man texted me back asking what’s going on why i think his wife texted me. he told me many things along the way but i was getting small clues that things were not that bad between them, and most important of all my gut was telling me. he said this last weekend was the real him and that he loves me but he has to get help. although i often accuse him of manipulating me, i am the hot head and he is the calm but calculating one. be sure you check the boxes to notify you so you get his response. i never knew how draining it was trying with all my being to love an emotioanally unavailable man. i don’t know how deeply involved you are with this man, but keep in mind that the more time you stay with him, the harder it will be to let go. i can’t get upset if i don’t hear from him and if i don’t see him. there is no nice way to break up, affairs are always very messy to get out of. for me this was just a physical relationship but then he bacame attached getting to know my family. my problem is i cant be the other woman it kills me so much despite my married man being so good to me supporting me financially denying he stays with any woman telling me he loves me soo much and showing it to me i want to let it go because i want the number one spot not second. i also said to him that if he truly didn’t care about her being with anyone else (he told me on many occasions that he didn’t), why did it bother him enough to question her. and a week ago, his best friend told me that he told the dumper that he should have married me.! i am coming to see that no true narc (and i do believe he is a narcissist) will ever want to permanently leave a good little co-dependent girl like myself. i guess where i get upset is that he speaks the truth, i lose, i have to change my thinking. i never thought i would see a married man but i fell for him and i wasn’t even looking for anyone at the time it was a complete surprise and i couldn’t resist him. always say start loving yourself and get your personal power back. this is the second time i reconnected with my married man, the first was 35 years ago. married men persuade you you’re their soulmate, and create this fake world…i will find the links soon and post them here! i am getting more drained and tired with all these nonsense. the roots of our behavior go way back in our lives to long before the married man was in our lives. we haven’t been together in person and alone since christmas however. our 3 years together is exciting and electrifying but lately we have lots of fights he is blaming me that even the smallest things is already a big issue to me. i pray you reconnect with god, with your husband, and with the you who deserves so much more than being the other woman.’s been 3 days since i’ve talked to my married man. going through a similar situation…my question is…do these married men ever get caught? so of course, he ended it with me even though he told me he was getting a divorce and wanted to marry me. as clearly things were not that bad if they made a baby, but it seemed around this time that things started getting more intimate between us and i put my concerns aside. it is my hope that my story and your article will help women make a wise decision and leave the married me alone. it gets easier and it was painful but not as painful as staying. i was trying to get pregnant for 5 years, i had to take infertility treatment for all these years and nothing worked. no more wearing dresses because he “couldn’t be with someone who dressed to get looked at” no more visiting my grandma’s house or my 2nd oldest’s home because “he (my ex) might be there.… haven’t updated in 2 days which only means i’m getting better. forward five months and i still can’t get over him. asking yourself questions u will nevrr get answer just do as im doing start moving on slowly keep pulling away slowly if he acts right good if he doesn’t continue pulling away by caring less making yourself busy if his yours god will make it happen but if he aint yours though you tag along for years. i believe i love him and now i want him to myself we share strong feelings for each other and he tells me he is not happy in his marriage, he looks after me pays my bills and we go out and sleep out sometimes and spend a significant amount of time together. i had tried to end this toxic relationship many times in the past until my friends also give up.. it’s been four months broken up from my nine year relationship with a married man. will plead till i let him in again truth he could be loving me but i cant be aside woman i want out hope i dont listen to him this time and i move on. he never lied to me about getting a divorce, we go out for dinner and shows. amanda, when i was reading your story, i started crying! i could never look for this man in no one else because he is unique. and it’s hard to move on from a married man unless you totally cut him out of your life. believe me it's a very strong force between a man and a woman when it comes to attraction. sometimes i wish, if he were a jerk, it’d be easier for me to get over it, but he wasn’t. he’s been married to her for 30 years and we been doing this for 7 years. when we are together it is always amazing and i do think if circumstances were different we would be together i have no doubt about that . too was involved with a married man for 5 months before discovering he was married. i hate that if we are together we will have to pay for her living because of their kids together. when we are together it is always amazing and i do think if circumstances were different we would be together i have no doubt about that . he’s an insecure man and preyed on your vulnerability. are all human and we all need love and intimacy and to feel good about ourselves. to know he got in his own bed, without another woman naked too next to him that night just highlighted all that was wrong seeing someone attached. experience after being in a relationship with a married for 6 years left me more lonely. he’s my manager, i can’t really leave, i can’t ignore him. many of us have gone through a form of ptsd because the addiction is so strong. no man that truly loved you would put you through this — never. forgetting that if a marriage is build strongly no one will be able to break in it. the beginning of my affair was like a dream a fantasy and i fell so hard for this married man who worked very very close to my house. hugs to all…get out there and date when you feel ready just go for it…. my answers are in caps how many of you really want to be exclusive with your married man? he’s also an energy vampire and after we spend time together i’m left depleted. 12 months ago so i met this wonderful guy that turned out to be married and has 2 kids and i have a boyfriend that we have been together for 3 years now. i never fell in love so deep with a man like this before. we’ve been together for 5 years and we have two beautiful kids together. i’m not going to though because i know it would be a disaster and anything could happen…i don’t want to get hurt physically too in all this…u know. i have worked with a married man who pursued me quite hard and confessed his feelings for me once he learned i was going through a divorce. strong ladies, we are all in this together and we will get through this…let’s support one another. i was also married when it first started and unhappy in that marriage. truly hope that every woman who is on this site will be open to visiting hg’s website. so i texted him friday morning and was just telling him how i will always miss him and how much i cared for him and we chit chatted throughout the day and by the end of the day we were back to talking like we always have. i cried myself to sleep that night, only to get accused of “still going and lying about it”. it’s hard to believe that so many of us have the same similar story. i can’t say i have never been attracted to another man in all these years. marries man said he wants to grow his children that’s why he stays (lame excuse really). long story short, he got home around 3am we text a few times but i was feeling very insecure and thinking he was not at work that late but with another woman…i thought this because i have been reading articles and forums about the disasters of dealing with a mm. you feel like he’s the only man for you because he told you that you’re the only woman he truly loves.’s like when you’ve played a game too many times and you lose interest, completely. we women must get out because we are enablers when we are with them.! i am new here and involved with a married man, but hopefully not longer. i feel devastated right now, being left, abandoned while they are coming back together, so happy. i don’t even want to talk to another man right now. but im still sad, im sad because i will never get to be with my soulmate- my married man, the one who my heart skips a beat for. i suspected that he was trying to hit on me with his sudden friendly manners. i used to go on this roundabout with my married man also, the jealousy and the hurt and the wife sticking to him all the time. it’s took me 2 years to get to this point. am currently involve with a married man for a year now. he’s been married to the same woman for the past almost 18 years they have four children together., i promise you, you’ll slowly start to find the answers you’re going to need to get through this extremely traumatic time. the absolute turn about that a married man can affect, focussing totally on his family and leaving you wondering whether you ever even existed, is staggering. that was my cue to get out without any excuses. the other woman: who we are, what every woman should know and how to avoid us. i, along with many others, have been witness to how cold and aloof she was towards my affair partner, as well as towards others, and how their relationship was just really odd at best. have been in a 4 year affair this summer with a married man who is older than i am. so, with that thought in mind, i’m actually (in a strange sort of way) thankful i went through my experience because it’s ultimately made me so much more aware of who i am, why i was targeted in the first place and how to protect myself for the rest of my life. i’m going to try responding more, but really wanted to get this information to you as quickly as possible. we may hate the wife because we are in competition with her for her husband, but believe me she is just an ordinary woman like us with dreams and aspirations and faith in this man she is actually unfortunate to be married to. i have spent so many days with him, gave myself to him. this saturday will be week 3 of no intimacy with my married man. she began putting her photo on dating sites, she felt more powerful because she could see that there were a lot of other guys out there. if by thursday i hadn’t seen him, i would panic ‘ohh my word only friday left’ -what if my worst nightmare is realised and he…. to fiona, sim, littlefrenchie, melissa, rebecca, brown girl, forget me not, learning from you all, cathy, miku. i’m afraid that every man i meet i will compare to my married man and i’m afraid i will push them away. you do… please don’t ever go back to this man. you have to be realistic bc expecting a married man to stop having sex with his wife is impossible. so many of you have been saying about how your married men are back with their families and are happy and are having babies and forming stronger bonds with their spouses. had been dating for eight months when i met chris.’t think for one minute that your married men love you because they don’t. he is using no contact because he is really mad at me because i told him i will talk to your wife ( which obviously will not do that just to get even) he will not going to approach me until i will be the one to approach him. i’ve invested 3 years of my life falling more and more in love with this man. so somehow the grip this man had on my psyche dimmed, i had so much more to think of. hope that i would get to meet his son and daughter and his grandchildren. i’m sure he craves the attention and knows he can get it from you. it is not about the married man after all; it is about me and my choices and my lack of self care! had a affair with a married man for the past 3 years. and this is the problem with us women, we are empaths and caring people, we may go in thinking we want what the man wants and that we can handle it, but we can’t. initially, i liked this man because of his voice, his spanish accent, then i thought it was hot he had a phd, intelligence is a turn on but once i got to know him, he was just as messed up as the rest of us. on one hand i want to keep him around but on the other hand…whats the point, i will get hurt in the long run…., chasing and having sex with people you know are married or you are the married person in pursuit of the liaison the why is a huge question to ask yourself. i'm not going to see him any more but i know his routine and this other woman who i like i want to tell her that she hasn't been the only one so she can also take care herself to not get hurt any more thinking he's just with her and may leave his wife some day which clearly has been a lie from day one. putting his wife aside, i promise you things will only get worse, and whilst a good distraction from your marriage, it’s not going to help fix it or end it either way. i was doing fairly well until he stopped by on wednesday and then the feelings erupted friday when i saw mm and his wife. my beautiful married man whom i still sadly love so much. he ensnared me in the worst way imaginable and i’m just to the point where i really don’t care if i meet anyone ever again, and if i do, i will handle myself in a completely different manner than what i’ve done before. my married man still wants to be with me…but he doesn’t give me the same attention he used to…so im like why do you still wanna be here? i sometimes try and make mike mad to see if he gets angry with me. my hands literally started shaking, and for the first 10 minutes after i received it, i could not even get myself to open it out of pure fear. always pray to god so this man leaves whe he doesn’t contact for a day i kneel day and ask god please let him not contact me again before i know it i see his call and he explains why he dnt contact me.’ve often wondered (throughout my life) why it was that i attracted so many negative people into my life; and now, i know why. month isn’t really that long, you sound like you’re getting stronger already. anyone who is still involved with a married man, all i can say is end it now. he lies and says he felt like he lost his right arm – not once did he try to get his right arm back or find out what had happened! he used to say all those things to me, that he wont ever let me go, he wil go out of his way to get me back if i leave him, he cant live without me, he wants to age with me, he needs me in all walks of his life etc etc… so how did he chuck me out of his life so quickly, like we never ever existed! the other times we ended up back together when we ran into each other. i have no idea wat to do in order to forget him & move on in my life. tonight i did speak with my married men and i was like a crazy women for a solid hour and i told him it was over and he begged me to give him one last chance & that he will do his best by me and he knows he has treated me badly and it’s going to stop. i know i have to end this affair with a married man and focus on my healing. i have been seeing my married man for over two years now as well and have talked to him every single day. phony relationship with married man also ended a week ago but we mutually agreed to move on and set each other free.! i’ve been with this married man for 2 years and 3 months. i don’t speak to my married man and neither did he.’ve been seeing an married man who works at my company for almost 2years. you thought your affair with this man wouldn’t turn out this way. easier said than done, as i know how it feels to let a man in who seems to consume you. i know i love this man but i can’t leave my husband now, and my family will completely disown me.’d also like to add i know a few exceptions, but the most recent didn’t work out so well and my poor dear friend i’ve known 35 years since nursery had an awful time recently to the point she doesn’t want to go near another man. he told me he had cheated on her the entire 15 years together. i also want to tell all girls who date a married man that don’t hesitate until the minute comes. when i can help others out of the same dark pit i was in, then i feel as though the pain and agony of getting out was worth it. i’m hanging on to every word he says just to get that clarification i need to go on about my day. i don’t like the idea that i can’t wear what he buys for me around her because she will get upset and say he is buying things for me (even though it’s true). he called it soul mismanagement, and his guidance was around understanding the structure and framework and regaining our integrity, working on our soul’s self care, and making a sacred covenant to your self to withhold these commitments to our self. have just ended my affair yesterday after we had been together for one n a half years. i know it is hard, and i didnt even get the full emotional experience yet! you, i live 8 hours from parents, brothers too, friends dotted around and manage to keep myself busy enough and usually have a flatmate here 3 days a week (my ex-am friend and my colleague funny enough, without his bit of rent, i’d have lost my home too…. if he does, it will only get worse for you after he’s issued you the “golden period” again. i need to do some serious soul searching and get some counseling…., if he divorces his wife for you, the two of you will go through a lot of sad, and trying times together. i think that is the best advice i have gotten from many women on this site. had the exact same reaction when i read the many posts on this site. blah blah blah yes my former married man needed constant affirmation and attention and never liked being alone (hence the need for more than one woman). i was married for the first 6, i had never cheated before in my life, and i found it impossible to be so in love with my married man and going through the motions with my husband. you fell prey to this man because you were broken. i promise you, your life will not get better with him. share with you your pains too and i think you are a very strong woman. you can still do nc even when you work together. if we just stop trying to put a time frame on it and getting impatient and just be, it will gradually fade away. i admire me made wise decision and take charge of your own life and let this man go.’m glad that you’re getting comfort from this site..what was it i saw ,feel so foolish ,desperate and idk how to get whole again ,i find myself listening to our calls and crying myself to sleep,i convinced myself he was unhappy and that i’m here to save him,i convinced myself we will be together and gave him all of me foolishly, what he gave me was what i needed,felt so amazing getting his affection,we had a huge argument and haven’t spoken in 2 days mainly cuz he’s off from work ,how can he put his feelings for me off till he gets bk to wrk? know it’s hard to think of your married men as anything less than great, but at least take the time to read the two blogs i’ve posted below and sincerely ask yourselves … “have mind games been played on me – from the beginning of the relationship up until right now? if these thoughts don’t pass, get yourself back to your doctor asap and tell him. the married man who used to have his wife’s undivided attention might have to realize that he can no longer be the center of her universe and the relationship might become more of a struggle. i never chased him; i liked him, but since he was married i never would’ve made a move on him. you need to see yourself like the strong woman you are, you have a nice job, people listen to you, try to see who you are for others. manipulating me to stay with him longer, and longer, and longer, for nearly 5 years. anyway, this rollercoaster ride is already taking me a loop. we met for coffee, during that time i found out he was still married and what that letter all those years before said. how do you let go of a hot succesfull young married man you love and he shows he loves you im so torn i dumped him on 15. honestly, i did not really have a support system, so i hope you can do better than me, but i went to london many times to see the only real friend i had, and i decided to make new memories (i went with him in so many capital of europe, i was scared of going back, but i decided to make new memories in those places to make sure i would not be scared of living again). on one hand, i want to let go, to forget my married man, to just sweep away all the memories, but on the other hand, im also afraid to let it go. he was crying and saying am the one he loves because for years he has not gone to africa to see this wife ,yes he cares for me and our child but i can’t live with some man who lied to me, almost getting married to me and he still cheat on me with other women on facebook and all. every time i think of him now, i think of how happy they are together. there are so many things this man gave to me that i absolutely want in a relationship and i know i deserve, but because of that, i also know now that i will never settle for less than being someone’s number one! peace with the fact that nothing in life is permanent, you can’t hold on to him or anyone else or anything. she said she wanted to keep the family together and would do anything.’ve been seeing a married man for a year and known him for 3 years !.no way…im wife and mother material…i allowed myself to get caught up with some lame dude just because i was deseperate for attention…never again…. one month into he told me while we were laying in my bed that he was married but they have been separated for 14-16 years and gave a list of reasons that things didn’t work out.. and i also failed to mention just last week he needed to borrow some money because his car broke down and yes i gave it to him but deep down i don’t think his car broke down i think i subsidised his first week of holidays because i know he gets paid next week. i recently broke things off with a married man last week. he agreed, we said we’d forget about it, and i left. i’ve fallen so deep for this man that i dont want to be with anybody but him. is not the loss you think it is- she gets a serial lying, cheating husband and you get to walk away, start new. my first time to date a married man but i have been through immense pain. have been on the “married man” train off and on with the same guy for many years. you are better than that, and don’t even forget it. a narcissists (please read poster ‘sharon’ and what she has to say over many threads and replies, a few below this one) will seek your attention in anyway they can and manipulate you. and soon enough i know and i believe we will be with the man we deserve!. i am amazed by the amount of women that are experiencing married men situations. i get stronger when he doesn’s chat me, but when he did again, i get the lovely feeling back. my married man did the exact thing to me in the end. is a key component of narcissism because sex/romance/love are powerful tools to gain fuel from you. (i am sure he is upset with me for doing this) then when i awoke i became paralyzed in bed because i could not bear to stand up to get up out of bed to see if the call/text was there or the call/text was not there. i suggested that it be best that we keep our distance until i can heal and get over theselfish emotions. we need to change that and get a new routine. when you have a man abusing your emotions, don't feel guilty about seeing what else is out there.. long story short, a married man persued me, we have what you would refer to as an online romance/affair/fling there really is no words to it. years because he is the property manager of the building i live in and he never wore his wedding ring throughout those years and i only started hanging out with him the past three months outside of the building. i had given my entire heart, mind, body, soul and spirit to this man and after shedding gallons upon gallons of tears and feeling the most excruciating heartbreak in my life, at 52 years old, the time had come. he is not officially married, but he and his significant other live together and have 2 young kids. what started out as innocent flirting turned out to be a “love story” i have no doubt in my mind that this man truly cares for me i mean after all i am the mother of his child. have learned a lot about narcissists in the last 6 months and i now know i was definitely my mm’s target. i conjured up in my own mind that i could be the one that provided the love and relationship to him while he made money with this woman. i know that he is my center and not a man especially a married one who lies to me. maybe this will push me harder to get out of there and find a new job. i’ve been dating a married man for the past three months. no matter which way you look at it, at least one person is going to get hurt.’m on this site because a couple months ago, i got involved with a different married man (yea, real bright). i know i got myself into this, even though me kept at me over and over after i told him no so many times. me i get over him please ,because i was used of him taking care of my financial needs his very successful and young . time flies and as a woman we don’t have so much waiting time for mm. ( in fact, he gave me the sign since first year we worked together and a few time after that, but i chose to ignore as i was with my ex-husband that time..funny enough, i called an ex colleague who lives in germany who i haven’t talked to in months, ended up letting her know about my mm. so right now i’m just trying to get through it. i tried to be accommodating to him and his busy schedule. so i told him i was not ready yet to build a family but what i really wanted was to first get married with him before starting a family. i tell myself that in time it will get better, i sure hope so. he keeps saying that this baby is a mistake, and we can have one together. you will put yourself through all sorts of painful experiences just to still feel connected to this man. i met my married man at work 6 months ago, long story short we met, fell “in love”, had aaammmaaaazzziiiinnngggggg sex, i even stopped dating and was faithful to him (ironic and dumb, i know) we would talk every morning, all day at work, and evenings. hes not a one woman man for sure n this he himself told me, which makes me think if i really should be mad at his wife! i feel especially heartfelt for those of you who had a married man who treated you like a princess because it makes it harder to move on versus someone who is a complete jerk. truth i need his money too he spoils me , his young as of now we are back together but imnot the lovely woman i used to be his the one who first communicates then i reply. all of us worked together in the same building, which had it’s good parts and bad. i know my married man loved me truly and during the time together, i couldnt complain any bit about how he treated me, we were in love head over heel.! i pray that i’m forgiven and that ‘karma’ doesn’t get the best of me! i’m zooey i recently got involved with a married man when i’m also married we’ve been seeing each other for about 3 months until last week when he text me and said he valued his wife and jesus more and he is sorry. that’s why these married men bolt so quickly imho. mm is not really romantic, he doesn’t tell me he loves me everyday, but i am always seeking for affection, love. i had a major argument with my married man 3 weeks ago. have just ended my affair yesterday after we had been together for one n a half years. and sometimes he will tell me a bible story that past mankind too has doing affair and god had forgiven them., i’m basically in the same boat other than it’s only been 4 years that we’ve been together and i’m the one who told him we needed to cut off all contact until he makes a decision. to amazon and download some of hg’s books (all under , us):Sitting target: how and why the narcissist chooses you. i am trying to think with my head and tell myself that i can get past him if i give my heart and mind a fair shake at moving on by instigating no contact and actively redirecting my thoughts to where they should be which is with husband and kids and extended family. missing someone while you can’t do anything about it, especially when that someone has left you to choose another woman – his wife.. he been married 3 times and cheated on all three wife…how his present wife not see this is beyond me…. we as woman are nurturers so not only do we fill that need, we end up giving them our hearts. this led to me developing huge feelings for him and he me, only problem is he is married with a new baby too. this is the best time to get over your mm. we are all probs pretty lucky we’re not trapped with a self-centered sociopath who only cares about himself and manipulates others. i hope all of you women are able to get away and stay away and find someone who deserves women like you! am praying i can end my relationship with my married boyfriend. first it was just friendship and i was going after him even thought i didn't know he was married with kids but once he told me i still went after him thinking i wasn't going to catch feelings since he reassure me that besides having sex nothing else was going to happen. the reason we are in a mess emotionally is because we are in relationships with married men, not necessarily because they are narcissists. because he isn’t leaving…i used to say he ‘can’t’ leave, but it’s a choice, however it may mess things up in many ways for a while. same date from friday popped in sunday, in the evening on the way back from his cousins. don’t get sucked back in and to do that, firstly – stop telling yourself you can’t live without him. want to end this toxic relationship, i have managed 3 days without texting him, but today i txt him and aske is there is a problem as i haven’t heard from him. i can see that some of the narcissistic traits matched my mm, so many didn’t. women get frustrated with their husbands who often can’t cope as well with work and doing their share of the work at home and with kids. i have to admit that he was on my mind quite a bit especially after seeing him and his wife together. it gets harder because he’s my manager, i always meet him at office. what a dream after being tangled up in a pointless love triangle for so many years. his wife hadn’t caught us six months ago, if still want to be in it even though it was slowing killing my mental health…that’s what i can’t get past. it hurts me so much see that i allowed myself to get in this position. he didn’t want to talk everyday and didn’t want to get as close to me as we were but still cared for me the same. my reader kay broke up with the married man she was having the affair with, she experienced deep grief and heartache. i learned if i reject him, he will try to move on to another woman quickly so he does not have to feel any blow to his ego. hard thing was and i read this somewhere about affairs…the married man is far more concerned about his friends finding out and their feelings than their mistresses! the only option for you getting out of the hell you’re in is to educate yourself on narcissism and going complete no contact! if he can’t get from her what he needs, and chooses to stay, then that’s his choice to live with on his own. further told him if his not ready to settle down now he can forget me & i move on peacefully cant waste my youth full years on un decided man he told me his decided its me he wants. the hardest thing for me to get through my head and believe was the fact that none of what i thought was real, was real to him. part of me wishes his wife knew as no woman deserves this especially since the very beginning of the marriage and has been going on for almost a year! the time that my husband wud be outdoors, i was cheating on him with this man! gets so upset when he finds out i’m away. you need to make the decisions to move on andknow you won’t get closure. he does nothing but fight with his wife and he’s not a happy man. 7 days ago lyric693 - if you are married to a man - he is your husband and some other woman sleep with him weekly and share some of the money with that woman. we only saw each other in a group environment (we work in the same office building and would often all go for drinks on a friday) so it was very casual friendship, not someone i saw regularly or made plans with. what does he need to inform you about the weather when we have so many media outlets that can keep you informed. i tried to find a way to end our relationship by getting a new job but i still couldn’t end it. they don’t deserve any woman to want them like this.! and as h g tudors advice says its about getting fuel from us…he didn’t get it…now i’m being punished with the silent treatment and he wants a better more loving text from me! please take back control and stop all contact with this married man. i really love this man for a few reasons: he helped me see the value in me, he taught me a lot about people, i learned a lot about myself, i learned about the complexities of life, and he taught me to be a good judge of character. used to go to movies and lots of time together at least everyother week. i completely understand his thought process and i know this is the type of man he is, but as i told him, i can’t just keep waiting indefinitely. its really sad that men feel the need to encourage and even pursue us when they are already committed, that we need to be the ones with balls and tell them where to get off. other woman's affair: gambling your heart & reclaiming your life when your partner is married. a life apart from him,open up to others and answer his calls less,get so busy you stop looking forward to his visit! welcome your thoughts on how to break up with a married man. he said this last weekend was the real him and that he loves me but he has to get help. then i told him i will not do that its just i want to get even with him and not serious about what i told him but he is mad so mad that i told him ok do you want us to separate now? and your purpose is definitely not to satisfy some man who isn’t willing to change his life for you right now, no questions asked. i have been left many times in tears and stay home bc i went back to school. if you can learn what you’re looking for, you’re one step closer to knowing how to break up with a married man.! he has actually stopped me dating in the past, now he understands, but of course he does, he is running out of lies to keep me!’m astonished reading your stories about having an affair with a married man. what started out as innocent flirting turned out to be a “love story” i have no doubt in my mind that this man truly cares for me i mean after all i am the mother of his child. working with this married man, looking after a young girl and facing the emotional abuse of my ex. remember that when you’re dating a married man, you see the ideal and perfect guy. he was my manager at work and due to the nature of the business he was in i had met and spoken to his wife and kids many times. a narcissist hates begging, but will do whatever they have to, if they think they’re going to get fuel from you, be it negative or positive fuel. do t forget men are there when it’s easy when it start being hard and requiring real proof of love they leave us alone, because ” you are so strong, you are the stronger woman i have ever met it’s incredible” bullshit, they just want to take the guilt away and feel like we can endure anything that the wife can’t. i had tried to end this toxic relationship many times in the past until my friends also give up. i text back saying thank you so much, you have really cheered me up and this is the first saturday i have woken up happy in many many years. he will get what he deserves and he will pay for all your pain and suffer but if you keep thinking about it and if you think that’s your responsibility it just make you suffer more. i just don’t want to lapse and call him again, it’s just such a pointless exercise to keep going back to him because if there’s one thing he’s been certain of right from the beginning it’s that we don’t have a future together..Like liz’s married man using his daughter, my attached man has never been able to do that as he left his first wife and 2/3 yr old, so he has always used his business – his business he should have dropped when he realised he wanted me 3 years ago (so he said). you’re here because you want to be free of the guilt, shame, and self-loathing that accompanies cheating with another woman’s husband. they talk about us living together and making them complete…i’m told this constantly…that without me he is incomplete…. well, doesn’t look over to me when they spend 24/7 together! guess im looking for a life line in this site by getting an understanding of whats happening here. i was with him most weeks monday to friday at work, like how we first started. just just from what you’ve said in your message alone, i can almost guarantee your married man is one, just as mine was, and everyone else’s is. i will never forget knowing the pain and confusion you’re still feeling at this point, but i promise you, you’re absolutely going in the right direction and you will continue getting stronger and stronger in time. i also want to tell all girls who date a married man that don’t hesitate until the minute comes. there was a picture of him with her wife wrote the power of married man is smile of the lady beside him.’ve replied to some messages in here last friday but they still haven’t updated. it’s not necessarily the woman he’s married to. it is hard, but seeing how there’s so many of us taking it one day at a time is such an amazing help. i’m so glad to know i’m not alone in this situation because they are so many of us. but he would flirt with me and eventually we started “dating”. but that is what they all say, and when stress and reality get involved, people's emotions and decisions tend to be all the same after all. i would just like to have a better understanding of this from a mans perspective. even if that image was pure bullsh-t i realized the mm was always going to play at being “the happily married man for his own ego. so we remain friends, but nothing romantic has been allowed to happen. i saw a pic on facebook of the married man with his wife on valentines day., what you say is so true in that every time you break up and get back together, a part of you doesn’t. thinking that the man will leave and you will get your happily ever after. i am sorry to read so many women are still going through this on top of the new ones being sucked into it daily. any of you have read my posts in regard to the narcissist website then you’ll know that i sincerely believe many of the married men we’re entangled with are full blown narcissists. experience after being in a relationship with a married for 6 years left me more lonely. married man is lonely and feels rejected at some level, how can you not? what type of callous person would use their own child to get what they want! i was indeed busy but my problem is, the busier i am, the more i miss that man. and true love is being used so freely but i don’t know how many really knows the true meaning or ever truly loved someone. however, the minute i was done i went straight to his game, i was the only woman out, actually i was the only person out there watching them get their butts kicked..I blocked my married lover, but of course he came to my house, i was so angry, how dare he compromise me, invade my life? many on this website, we understand very well what you are going through. still don’t know if this is is 2nd wife or 1st wife remarried. i will never let myself be any man’s doormat again. what is really sad and shocking is to see how many married men are unfaithful to their wives! he and his wife got tattoos within days of each other and when i mentioned i was thinking about getting one, he blew up. as someone who is/also dated a married man with 2 kids i can totally relate. as for reaching out to your am, don’t get down on yourself.” “what if my married man’s excuses are actually valid? even if my married man was single, there are probably some items on the “bad” list that would keep you from being truly happy together, but you still can’t get over him. we met for coffee, during that time i found out he was still married and what that letter all those years before said. the other thing that helps with staying away is that we won’t have the chance to let someone walk into our lives who will be free to love us unconditionally unless we stay free from married man…texts included. he was having performance problems with her so i barely got it 1x/week for fear if she might want some he’d have to do it. i meet someone else and though not in love get engaged to this man. you are so young, you have your life and an amazing man on the other side of this pain. i do believe there is truth to what your married man and my married man have told us, i also think we need to remember that they have not honored their commitment of “for better or for worse”. it is passion overload, hard to take at times for how intense it is, and the feelings you get from this are seriously addictive and hard to walk away from. those two things made me finally start understanding that the married man i was with was a pathological and chronic liar. i’m sorry to say through experience, you’ll spend a week with him, be on an absolute high, then return and get so low it feels like depression, this becomes the norm and is far from the norm! i just don’t know what to do, so i’m hoping i just get pregnant again and my hormones help reset my life. it agn boils down to the question, wat is that am getting out of this relationship & wat role did i ever have in his life (if at all i had any) that he let me go so quickly. because of many factors, they have many outside interests, and don’t share outside passions or interests. have tried to end it so many times with my married man, even during the time things were great. married man called 1am and of course i didnt answer and he never calls me during that time. i told him was i never had a problem with him but i cant be a sidewoman. her man told her that he loved her but because he had two children with his wife, he could not leave her. i must say, like most, i want to believe that the love with married man is special, that is was destiny that we met and we are made for each other because it is so special between us. we would get such limited time, and he would still choose to not call me at times because ‘he didn’t feel like it’. i was going to end it when he told me he was married and gave me his sob story.. he is married and is happy so why the hell does he want to torture me like this? ladies, i am having so many mixed feelings right now. give yourself time to heal away from him is my only free advice to you based on my sad and lonely and infuriating years of experience with a married man. it’s so hard to get out of these relationships, i am taking all the help i can from good friends and i have two therapists. i am 38 years old im married but my husband is gay thou he is in denying it to me all the time. i’ve been drinking heavily to escape while he gets the comfort and security of family. there is something intoxicating about a man in uniform and in power. you can still do nc even when you work together. i am a beautiful, vibrant woman who has so much to give to people who deserve it. living in that me street makes you have a way to go back to him or perhaps get to see him unintentionally, perhaps you should change a place to stay or move to another area. you will get better insight and more information on this topic by googling about it and reading personal accounts from people online. i know it is hard, and i didnt even get the full emotional experience yet! i’m half dead, i even wished i had a brain trauma so i could forget every memory of him. he has married three other people, but never wanted to fully be with you? i know i’ve become the “other woman”, “the mistress” and even though he tells me differently, i know that as long as i’m in the picture i’m essentially breaking up a family and it’s killing me.’ve been reading several articles about breaking up from an affair with a married man…. the last time we spoke he mentioned he was married and had one child. the suffering my heart went through at the hands of this man was brutal.. he’s the second guy i’ve ever been with sexually and i just know this will not end up good but i still can’t t get enough he tells me about their troubles and his frustrations i try to give advice on but then he’ll tell me about trips they may take or vacations they go on … what to do. he told me he will come back this friday so that we can discuss everything and told me he will book his ticket right away.?Just get out of the house n do things u used to enjoy. vulnerable and lonely, i was shocked that this very good looking man wanted to hang out with me and seemed genuinely interested in the work i was doing. we see the perfect man (most the time) who makes us feel amazing. i may just be at the beginning of my journey, but i want to get through it. are so many beautiful and nice things in our lives, we just have to see and enjoy them again…step by step. i wish there was a formula to get over the pain and heartbreak. when we started out he was getting divorced and i was single. just broke up with a married man after 3 months and he was my business partner too. i told him i’m happily married, but he worked months at convincing me my marriage was flawed. if you abuse someone (and that means cheat on them, hit them, not talk to them, erode their self esteem and so many other different ways) and it happens once, maybe twice, it could be written off as an aberration caused by drinking, stress, medication or fatigue. in my heart, i want to believe that this is true love because through it all, and it has been incredibly difficult at times, we have stayed together. i did get him to admit feelings but they’re definitely not as strong as the ones i have for him. i said its over- 2 days later we were back together and back to his old self. what gets me is this is his idea to end things. i am broken and he is broken and our pieces were a fix together for awhile. love a married man just like chasing a shadow u can never actually own it. maybe he also get tired of me and it is ok for me. bear with it, keep yourself occupied and get out meeting new friends. of course making it easy for him and he was still married! he says we’re not together but of course still feels for me the same.

How to end dating a married man

… forgot to also mention that my married man and i also tried friendship. accidentally found site and the comments on how to end a relationship with a married man. am not sure of your age but if you want your own family than i urge you to go see a councillor and get some really good support. i took myself off the dating website to give myself a break, but did see my date after 2 weeks on saturday night and again we stayed up until the early hours and had a lovely time. the bottom line is you’re being abused (emotionally brainwashed and manipulated) and so is she. gray 6 months ago i know this guy for more than 20 years we used to work together and had a crush in each other. but you will managed, you can’t believe it now but you will. why do seemingly happily married cheat on their wives-im just going by pictures i see on fb…. he has 4 kids (set of triplets) and i have 3 kids (set of twins), so we connected in many levels. when he finally did get a new job, his boss had a little retirement party for him and his wife sat on the opposite side of the room from him, which showed absolutely no support for him, through the eyes of others. though i think right now whatever you do you need to do it for you and not for you married man. being in love with a married man has made me want to close myself off to all men but i feel in my heart there is someone out there for me. it’s actually very sad and it’s probably the one thing that hurts me the most to this day – the fact that he used me to devalue her, and in my case, every day because we worked together. other woman's affair: gambling your heart & reclaiming your life when your partner is married.. i wil fight the urge to stalk my married man and his wife on social networks. i emailed him and was excited to get a response, couldn't believe after 8years to have found him. hearing your story has helped because the way we left things were not great but still not hurtful, i just asked him not to contact me for a month(we had been friends for 10 years together for 6 ahh that is too long)and i did not want to give the friendship up but i am thinking i did that 6 years ago., never fall in love with a married man… this is just a game to them… learn to play the game…. i’m pushing 40 so i get what you mean about not finding someone better. like most of you, i too was having an affair with a married man. he said he hopes he get to see me this weekend but i dont think i even want to see him. i have been married for almost 27 years and would have never in a million years thought i would be in this position. he is not married, but they live together with their children. (read my sad story and those of so many others below). to see yourself as strong and him weak because he keeps coming back,get friends,book holidays ,live,just get a life apart from him and watch! we were talking friday morning after another failed attempt to stay apart. you’ll wish you were back together, and you’ll cry yourself to sleep at night. i was one of those who swore to never ever get involved with a married man, that it could never happen to me because i knew exactly what i wanted out of my life. story, were were friends he went to kiss me i turned away but we stayed friends and eventually sleeping together. i did one week nc recently which really helped me to get rid of the clingy and neediness. it’s only been 5 months and i feel like i can’t miss a day without speaking to my married man. she has no idea what kind of man she is married to…i think if she look at my proof it will prove what a dog he is…. the longest he ever did on the phone with me and we were together for a year. you know this isn’t real love, and you know the married man won’t leave his wife for you. looking back, i see that my married man and i reconnected only a year after my marriage ended 2 years ago. we had worked closely together but began to get closer when he was going through some things with his kid. it gets harder because he’s my manager, i always meet him at office. i have been crying off and on all week but the pain is getting better actually. my married man was cheating or trying to cheat on me. but i dnt discuss my marital problems with him coz he wil get ego boost instead i talk only good things abt my husband n how much he luvs me. years ago and like you, then and now, my work suffers, i get ill, and now i don’t see the am and don’t know what to say to him anymore as i feel incredibly used (see my initial post ‘forever waiting’ and many replies to people) i’m exhausted from the mental and sometimes physical impact. fyi, im a virgin, i dont want to loose my virginity before married. imagine that poor girl: 7 years, her best years to find a mate (the 20’s) wasted with a lying married man. what does he need to inform you about the weather when we have so many media outlets that can keep you informed. i was all alone that night, i tried callin this man but he was with his wife that night so obviously didnt answer. i have not read all the comments here but seeing that there are so many makes me feel less alone. my ex-married man also said he would not have another baby, then changed his mind to lure me back in (it worked), and then said no again. he said he has get a lawyer to divorce his wife but on the other hand i keep seeing his wife fb putting the married status. why do you leave the door open for the married man? had to get on medication, stayed in the bed and my family just thought i was depressed which i was but they didn’t know the reason. i think we have low self esteem, and we have to build each other up, as women, so that we can find strength in one another and not another man. i found out that he was married with 3 children i was shocked. can relate, but my married man never hid me…his wife knows me, so do his kids…this is a toxic relationship. we work together and it’s extremely difficult to not have contact with each other. i found out that if a man really wants to be with me then they would move mountains. two months ago my 7 year relationship with my live in boyfriend ended and what do i do…i start texting my married man! but the reason i fell in love with him is going to be the reason we wont be together. the toxic ones are intoxicating bc there’s usually crazy chemistry and your brain gets addicted. so far its working because never ever with 6 yrs of being together did he tell me that. getting involved with a married man has taught me so many valuable lessons; however, i will never do it again. i told him when he gets to where he really wants to see me he’ll find a way and he doesn’t acknowledge it. i’m not sure what hurts worse blowing me off after 10 years in this relationship where i have given this man everything from my heart to my mind to my body in a five minute phone call or the fact that he would rather stay with a woman that he’s told me on several occasions that he loves her but doesn’t like her. remember that breaking up with a married man will be painful and sad, but it’s better for you in the long run. its hard coz the mind wants to justify… its hard i know but because you are here it shows you are desperate to get better. we ended up getting off the phone because i met up with my girlfriends to have a drink. i was with my married man 2 years and a half.! i pray that i’m forgiven and that ‘karma’ doesn’t get the best of me! happy to have found a platform where i can be honest about my situation, i too am in a relationship with a married man,im now realising that i am not happy, although he gives me everything i want,he is currently paying my rented apartment ,i have a job that seems to be promising but im scared to break up with him because i do not make enough to support myself, this is a confession that i fell for a guy and got comfortable with material gain, i know i have a good head on my shoulders ,i shouldnt be in this situation. shay i totally get what you mean you feel they want you but they cant act . but we don’t know how to get rid of them. i am the wife, the mother of his children, the woman who he respects. it’s been over a month since my married man decided to cut contacts with me. after you start to come through the grief, you will be grateful to no longer be trapped in the hell of searching for articles on how to break up with a married man. kiss me out in public , go dancing with me, dinners, drive and show up to work together regularly. he married 3 times and cheated on all 3 wives…he not a winner. of course he had no idea that i had been seeing a married man. we are always spending time together inside the house and even doing activities outside. i hope his wife gets a backbone and sees right through him. i would just like to have a better understanding of this from a mans perspective. i have been married for almost 27 years and would have never in a million years thought i would be in this position. i was in a scary ‘relationship’ and suffered many hardships with my bf at the time whom i’d only been with a few years. i’m at the airport now, going to a meeting in malaysia for a few days, and sitting next to me is an old french couple who looked really happy together and that got me to sob. laurie can you please write an article on why married men cheat…does he really love his wife if he continues to have affairs? he has manipulated (brainwashed) you into believing every single lie he’s told and it will only get worse with time. you told me that these married men are not really happy but they are. 7 weeks ago i am a young woman who has been seeing a married man. can’t my heart get the memo that my brain wrote? now i see that no matter how good they are and how sweet and good man they are. anyhow, my married man will never leave his wife and he will always cheat: simple as that. lost my kitty and my dog in the same year, and like you, i realized this man could not be there for me in any capacity..i also asked him to return my keys and to come get his stuff from my place. 5 months ago deeply in love with a married man who has 4 children. i’m stuck with this black soul of man who is not only married, but treats me like a slut. we as woman are nurturers so not only do we fill that need, we end up giving them our hearts. my answers are in caps how many of you really want to be exclusive with your married man? i was still living in ohio…divorced now…… and the one doing the driving or flying to make it happen for us to be together. i believe you when you say things will get better, i know it will get better because this is not the first time i’ve been through such break up. we have been through is not a life, true love for either of us on both sides and getting an outsiders perspective wonderful too about all of this. once plus for me though i have started to make plans and not change them if he gets time to come here.! words have been used forever to manipulate women wether the men are married or single. now i’m physically in agony, mourning the future i so wanted with him, hating myself for loving someone else’s husband and wondering if i’ll ever get over this. i have known for some time that the man i was seeing just needed some passion, despite everything else he said to me about wanting me forever. i sersly feel this man doesn’t deserv my love or attention. sometimes i feel i’m actually in a trans when i get sucked back into his nonsense again but it is as you put it a merry go round that we are on. get a real life whiles he is still around,start by living yourself! they have 3 children together and i never wanted to disrupt their family. with holding on to things, i haven’t been able to delete photos of us – i’ve got as far as getting them off my phone onto a flash drive. its really sad that men feel the need to encourage and even pursue us when they are already committed, that we need to be the ones with balls and tell them where to get off. i think this is a place where if i open up i can get advice to way out…. it’s way more trouble than it’s worth anyway, but at least if you are getting some sort of happiness or validation, there is something to say for that. honors her everytime and do whatever she expects from him to get closer to her but it never lasted long and the cycle continues. now, how many women do you know who have sacrificed all for a man? but i got a call from a guy i was dating that i left alone. we met at work (no longer work together) he was very shy and i mad the first move. i even researched about woman moving in with their new partners into their ex ‘marital’ homes to be mature about it, and some women were great, saying it’s now their home and their memories and just bricks and mortar….’t accept this married man’s phone calls, text messages, facebook popups, emails, facetime prompts, tweets, blog comments, or notes at work. he was manipulative at times, controlling at times, selfish very often, and always turned things around on me. not that they were sexual or anything—he explained that in order to touch her, he had to get drunk..It took me 6 years to realize i evolved my life around a married man who did and still does love but couldn’t give me a healthy relationship. is the note i sent to my married man when breaking up. never easy, he says he loves me, ive tried breaking up with him as i cant live in a secret relationship even though i truely do love him, but he wont leave me alone and i end up getting back with him. struck a cord in my heart because he reminded me what it was like to actually be the only woman, even for that evening, that was a part of him…no wife or gf at home. he is not officially married, but he and his significant other live together and have 2 young kids. do you handle it when u know ur married man is still having sex with his wife? i knew that if a man claimed to love me as much as he did, he would not let me be alone when i was going through one of the most difficult things in my life. i’m tired of being the woman he uses for masturbation., i have not spoken to him and i never will again, unless he catches me off guard; and if that happens, i will show absolutely no emotion (hate, anger, tears, kindness, nothing) towards him because that’s the only reason he’d be there … to get fuel from me – negative or positive. remember that breaking up with a married man will be painful and sad, but it’s better for you in the long run. i hope sumday down the line he will regret losing me & wud want me back in his life, n i will get my revenge! in january 2016, i finally managed to put an end to sleeping with the married guy. men are very weak and it doesn’t matter how hard they try and keep it together they sooner or later crack but he wants it to be where he messages me when he wants to see me and maybe will text me here and there just to see how i’m doing. i won’t be taking revenge, as i dont wish to drop to his level, and as you said, its not worth it for a married man, there are plenty more single men in the sea, but im not going looking, as im going to have me time, lots of things i want to do, but always put off because of him, and thank you. while we sit worrying about the future, fantasizing about the next time together or wondering if he will ever be with us for more than minutes – he is laughing, having fun and not thinking about us at all. he made allthese promises before leaving that his love n feelings wil never change n he wil call me everytime he gets an opportunity n wil take me for a holiday once he gets a job blah blah blah. lot of people can say all the negative things they want about getting involved with married men/women, but in the end, i believe we all (hopefully) learn valuable lessons. i had forgiven myself for the past relationship because we met on a dating site and he assured me multiple times that he was single! really, i’ve never met a man who cares so much for his kids. can relate to your story on so many levels, it’s like all these married men give us the same lines and we still continue to be suckers for them. you guessed it, not seeing him now…it seems work was keeping ‘us’ together. many people won't understand our perspective and criticize everything about the other woman. oh, and i did keep the chains, just got rid of the pendants) and now, 7 months later i’m painting my bedroom walls from the blue he liked to the yellow i like. sometimes, i cry myself to sleep as i wish to have a family of my own, which i am now accepting may never happen as i spent many years being in love with a married man. do i shut him out for good i still love him, his good to me but i need to settle down how do i go about this anyone in my situation where its you who wants to dump the married man whose so good to you. if a man wants you, nothing and no one will stand in his way! you get to attached please escape the attached persons grip…. i know many are scared that they won’t connect with someone like they did their married men, and even i have that fear sometimes, but i have faith and believe it will happen. but we don’t know how to get rid of them.?I believe the ultimate lesson here is to love yourself more and more so that will not tolerate to be with an unavailable unfaithful man. i know what he liked about me was the fun loving energetic person and i can’t find that anymore.), i know he just likes the pub…more lies to get me to feel sorry for him. i now think that any man who can straight up lie to his woman at home is bad news. how dare he, i have been living by his way, in his side of the story for 4 years but now i finally get some backbone and our relationship is suddenly too much work and struggle. i’m going to reply to your and sharons posts above, but i’m so glad to get support here! i just want to be strong enough to move on and forget him. can stay away but they need time to find comfort and forget things.’ve been seeing an married man who works at my company for almost 2years. anyone know how i can break away from this relationship with a married man as nicely as possible but he can still be part of my life because of work? i thought to myself — this man tells me he sleeps in different areas of the house with her, he’s not in love with her, they don’t sleep together, they barely talk, he’s only there because of his daughter, etc. so my gut said do not entertain anything else from this unavailable man but my loneliness said, just dont have sex with him and you are good. i don’t have the right to get jealous but i can’t avoid it. i am married with three young kids and have been seeing amarried man on and off for 5 years. now, she urges you to stop cheating with another woman’s husband. how many of these married men do you think have done that? the married ones who do get back with us will do so temporarily because they miss us or we coerce them to, but the same pattern will play out. 6 months ago he told me he was married but they are in the middle of divorce. man came to your life and treated you with cheating and lying. i know this is a horrible thing that i have done and i feel guilty all the time but right now i’m glad i ended this affair with a married man and i’m just trying to gather courage to stay on this path..you seem so weak and i have been there severely, get a life without this married man, wean yourself off him gradually meet people for lunch and other activities and gradually stop explaining yourself! we become like a drug to them (they are to us also) and they will do and say anything to get their fix. told my married man before that i knew he didn’t love me – mainly to see how he would react or say – he said well the sex is the best that i’ve ever had and i ain’t stopping it now. sometimes i wish i could get to know all of you women personally. any one has the same feeling about their married men, or had, and can help somehow i will be happy to hear. share with you your pains too and i think you are a very strong woman. you will be proud of yourself that you had the courage and dignity to stop dating a married man, and you will start readying yourself for a healthy new relationship. you need to decide that you deserve more out of a relationship, and that a better man is waiting for you. these married men will continue to suffer in their marriages and even if they divorce, trust will always be an issue with them.…i had totally forgotten how really feeling like a princess felt – this was it, a man all to myself. i knew he was married from the start and we met for work purposes a few times before anything happened. those men do not like when we disappear, it’s a damage to their ego 🙂 so that when we give cold shoulder, they go out of the way to get you back (but once you are back, he will be hot/cold with you again). here’s how to break up with a married man and heal your broken heart, plus encouragement from a woman who broke up with an unavailable husband that she was cheating with. i truly believe that when he justifies his actions, turns things around on me, calls her out for potentially dating someone else, he believes in his mind that he is right in doing so. then i told him i will not do that its just i want to get even with him and not serious about what i told him but he is mad so mad that i told him ok do you want us to separate now? he slept over every night and we spent everyday together for months.. i wud tel him how much my husband luvs me, stories of our weddin, dating & honeymoon, wud deliberately post my pics with husband on social network, so that he sees them n feels jealous.'s married and i'd practically be selling myself, but then i well if not me it will be someone else and what's the difference dating a single guy as a boyfriend that helps you out. married man has made his choice and he is happy. it’s easy fix if you want to get back with him.. we spoke and he cleared a few misunderstandings about work and then he started getting all romantic, after the sex he just upped and was ready to leave without even satisfying any of my needs. the married man is always going to want to have his cake and eat it too as i long as he can find a gullible woman like me to enable his fantasies. we women must get out because we are enablers when we are with them. we broken up so many times and got back together but now its really over. i need to understand why i have been so willing to settle with crumbs and why i have been so willing to help another man lie to his wife. i cannot believe how many women out there have gone/going through the same thing with married men! if you’re his side piece for years, you’re giving up that opportunity and when you look up, you’ll see that all the good guys are married. met a man a couple months ago online, we haven't actually met in person as he lives in another state from me. he got married for the wrong reasons and i told him. it takes all of us a ridiculous amount of time to really understand the games of being with a married man. i’m glad we could make a difference – always remember and never forget – you absolutely deserve more! he’s married 38 yrs, never says anything bad about wife. man has robbed me of my life the last 11 months. i’ve been single since i was born abd never been involved with a man until my married man. you want to know how to stop dating a married man, try telling yourself that he doesn’t love you the way he loves his wife — even if he tells you he doesn’t love his wife! too deserve a happy and fulfilling life, with someone that is there 24/7 and who doesn’t sleep next to another woman plus lies, manipulates and makes you feel sad…. all i can say is he was engaged, could have not got married to be with you and yet he did not. please just try to get out and around friends, or family, it will take your mind off of it for at least a short while, or at least help ease the pain. it heals farster if you are deliberate about getting better and desperate to end the nonsense and pain. he always treated me well, totall gentle man but as time passed. sometimes learning how to break up with a married man involves a decision.! i am just 20 and u got involved with a married guy who was working with me. i am a strong, resilient 51 year old woman, but this situation has brought me to my knees, literally. that is not love, that is selfishness making sure they get the best of both worlds. anybody ever thought maybe the reason why these married men become distant is because they’re seeing other women? i could not see this clearly before because i was so “mesmerized” and hypnotized” by him and by our brief times together. left my married man of 20 years off and on on palm sunday this year. i realized that i have the will & strength to get up and walk without stumbling even after falling & failing so many times. i couldn’t go on vacations, couldn’t go to any gatherings or birthday parties because, “i’d look like a single woman”. the end, i will be stronger because if it but he will not meet another woman like me. he was pursuing me but i was slow to give in but once we spent the night together, it just clicked. the married man i was involved with for a yr or so we have broke up 5 times and everytime he comes crawling back in a few weeks. truth is, while you’re getting the golden period, she’s being devalued (manipulated – see above); and when you’re being devalued, she’s (or a new source of supply) getting the golden period. he lost the craze or novelty to shower me the attention, romance me with love and lust, reality sets in, he withdraws whenever he’s hit by guilt towards his wife & kids and fear of us being discovered. i don’t like the fact they are still married and i feel he still my be involved with her. when we were “together” (and i use that term loosely since i’ve now realized that he was never really mine), we never went more than 3 weeks without seeing each other. met a woman in a coffee shop this morning, and we started talking and lo and behold she also had broken off an affair with a married man, what are the chances? it’s amazing how they can be so manipulative to get their way. just know he doesn’t just get to snap his fingers and go back to happy home life. how can i leave this guy when i have a car that doesn’t run and all these clothes, no money to even get a meal, or any form of communication to anybody through cellphone. he started to demand, to know everything and cannot even go out without his permission. we are in dysfunctional relationships but not every married man having an affair is promising their left arm to someone.’ve been visiting this site almost every day while i was in a relationship with my married man. to be with the man that you should be with. the hardest thing for me to get through my head and believe was the fact that none of what i thought was real, was real to him. i don't get a sense that she considers the feelings of the wives these mm are cheating on and the absolute chaos the illicit affair would cause his family.!Fw thank you so much for your comment and i sincerely hope you can break away from the man who’s holding you hostage. he sent me roses and chocolates for valentines but i didn’t see him nor could we do dinner or spend the night together. you can also go to the website listed above and just get started reading his blogs. there are many other short blogs by this author and it would do you a world of good to educate yourself on what you’re truly dealing with. i don’t even remember what name i used on the first post because things seemed to be getting better and i was back in my fairytale. his wife already found out about us a year ago but somehow he was able to pacify her and convince that we’re not together anymore. must be realistic here and accept that what you are involved in is risky in many ways. i still ache for him but it’s getting better. ways to support yourself financially is the best way to get over your affair with a married boss. i promise you, you’ll begin to get reacquainted with the woman you have been missing for so long. me to elaborate on the ‘trying to get pregnant’ bit. we have ended so many times to the point you are uncertain if it’s for real this time. now i am mourning the end of my marriage and a bad breakup all while working with this man who is now going on a family vacation 🙁. i knew if that man truly loved me, the way he always claimed to, the silent treatment would’ve never taken place.. we’re back dating each other (secretly of course) for the past year now. i know it’s hard for some to believe their married man is the one, but that’ll change with time. do not go back… the problem (married man) cannot also be the solution. came across this website while seeking help how to break free of a mess i found myslef in… im 27, and i have started to fall for a married man who works in the same company. no more wearing dresses because he “couldn’t be with someone who dressed to get looked at” no more visiting my grandma’s house or my 2nd oldest’s home because “he (my ex) might be there., i really feel i can relate to you in many ways.. 6 months ago, he came around early hours of the morning and layed on top of my bed and said “it’s time you and i got together”. you find strength and courage to stop dating this married man. he said he has get a lawyer to divorce his wife but on the other hand i keep seeing his wife fb putting the married status.! i think at the time he was panicking about losing me for some reason and at that time had not perfected the manipulation. my man was a waste of my time but i guess i needed to learn. i tried to get stronger each day, and felt refreshed and proud of myself, i felt sad a few times but was too angry things had come to this after 3. what i want you to know is that i don’t want you to get to where we are. i don’t regret messaging him as he was great getting an ambulance out to me, but as he said all he did was make a phonecall…how very sad after almost 4 years he wasn’t here to pick me up when i left hospital dizzy, confused and in need of some care. i told him i’m happily married, but he worked months at convincing me my marriage was flawed. i love her, don’t see her as the other woman and i want to spend my life with her. the married man i was involved with for a yr or so we have broke up 5 times and everytime he comes crawling back in a few weeks. once plus for me though i have started to make plans and not change them if he gets time to come here. i quit looking at my married man’s wife’s account because it’s all fake. my ex-married man, did the exact same thing to me after nearly 5 years. marine/cop working long hours…so the work, wife and lover became to much for him to manage. i know he (being what is considered a greater narcissist) knew exactly what he was going to do and how he was going to manipulate me into turning my own world upside down. it can be an “opportunity” for us to get to know ourselves better. i am in the same boat i meet a man 18months ago at the time i didn’t know he was married has time went by he told me he is a carer for his wife and nothing more and now he’s doing slot more stuff with her and i need out but can’t do it i have no will power am getting very depressed x. he used to say all those things to me, that he wont ever let me go, he wil go out of his way to get me back if i leave him, he cant live without me, he wants to age with me, he needs me in all walks of his life etc etc… so how did he chuck me out of his life so quickly, like we never ever existed! my married man hid the fact that he was married when we met. one day he is talking about renting an apartment so we can have our own place together to now running scared. if someone sees me from the outside, they would see a confident, assertive and happy woman. you guessed it, not seeing him now…it seems work was keeping ‘us’ together. if you’re anything like me, i use to think, “god, this can’t be who my married man is because he was “always” so loving and good to me”. because me breaking with him has totally failed its now like ajoke i think as i breakup with him when he pleads i forgive him because no man has been good to me like him., please if your in a relationship with a married reconsider and leave the relationship nothing good will come out of it. i put my foot down and said hats it i’m telling her -you’re my man. the other woman is a intimate partner secondary source who is used purely to provide fuel (emotional attention) to the narcissist and most other women are dirty little secrets. laura, i knew my ex-married man for 10 years before ever getting involved. that you deserve better than an affair with a married man. then one fine day he told me that he couldn’t see me with anyone else and wanted to get very serious with me. i just don’t want to lapse and call him again, it’s just such a pointless exercise to keep going back to him because if there’s one thing he’s been certain of right from the beginning it’s that we don’t have a future together. i always judged women who had affairs with married men, and i know people who have never been in this situation who would say i deserve what i’m getting. as clearly things were not that bad if they made a baby, but it seemed around this time that things started getting more intimate between us and i put my concerns aside. my engagement ended a year ago then i reengaged with my married man months later. but then i get the text telling me now if i’m not talking to him, he has no one. i know everyone has to do this in their own way and in their own time, but a few things i would like you to focus on when you’re ready, and even if it’s one thing at a time, start getting rid of everything truly meaningful that he gave you (letters, cd’s, clothes, pictures, texts, voice mails, emails, jewelry, etc. a man with child characteristics will never have what it takes to move mountains for anyone. i have a whole wonderful life to live without this married man! this man who is in front of me is a stranger and is nothing and no one to me anymore. i had a major argument with my married man 3 weeks ago. and the last girl he dated, he slept with her just a few days before he got married. many of us have tried many times to break things off and don’t succeed at first, second, 3rd, 4th or even 5th time tries and the reason is because there’s an addiction that has to be broken through education and extreme help (therapy and prayers). only 9 out of 10 married men leave their wives at best. i’m also the only one ever to cut ties and have even managed 2 months at a time a couple of times now. i’ve read every online article about ending things with a married man and healing. me i get over him please ,because i was used of him taking care of my financial needs his very successful and young . i was on one and met a guy who had chased me for 6 years, although he is very laid back, i’ve seen him 3 times and its my escape for now, we don’t message much, but i forget my worries when i’m with him as he is so much younger and has a different outlook to life, which helps me calm down and distress. because i am planning to tell her the truth, that i am married. my advice get lost in a good book, fall in love with yourself again, do girls night out! the attached man has still not left almost 3 years on. i do think men manage to just drop one thing to move on to the next more easily than us, but i also think it comes back like a boomerang to the them one day, while we took longer to heal but we will heal in the long term. i’m stressed, and exhausted from dealing with this relationship and i’m trying to get out of it but its become very hard. hes just using you nothing more, lies lies lies, iv been there, if he really wanted you for real, he would leave his wife and all his commitments, , married men will say anything, to get you into bed, because in reality its all they are after, wise up girl, i did. him and hi wife been married over 15 years and i can't continue on waiting for him to divorce her. but selfishly rejoiced that we could be together because we were “soulmates. vulnerable and lonely, i was shocked that this very good looking man wanted to hang out with me and seemed genuinely interested in the work i was doing. and it’s not like i didn’t get attention from my husband but this was just something exciting and different. women get frustrated with their husbands who often can’t cope as well with work and doing their share of the work at home and with kids. you’ll get all the answers you’re looking for there. he was always getting threatening messages from the wife that he didn’t share with me but i could sense everything. he keeps saying that this baby is a mistake, and we can have one together. this endless cycle of making up and breaking up is the most dreadful and soul destroying aspect of an affair with a married man. let me explain…the job agency called me on a thursday afternoon about a interview on friday morning at married man’s firm, without giving proper details about the job, conditions, etc. date on the side to keep yourself from becoming too attached to this man and to keep reality in perspective. i contacted him (i was married, ready to file for divorce), we met and i told him i didn’t want to see him again because i needed to figure out my own life. peace with the fact that nothing in life is permanent, you can’t hold on to him or anyone else or anything. this person has stolen 12 years of my life that i can never get back. mm is not really romantic, he doesn’t tell me he loves me everyday, but i am always seeking for affection, love. i know at this time, all of this sounds like an impossibility to do and i won’t lie it hurts like he** to even think about getting rid of everything, but i will say, and i absolutely promise you, when you’re ready to do it, you will literally feel just a little more liberated and free. recently after a 2 year relationship broke off a relationship with a married man. left him because i said i no longer wanted to be with a married man. your comments, i’ve been meaning to write here for a while, but the festive season and getting back to dating has got in the way! he is not prepared to start all over again with a younger woman with a young child. had the same issue with my married man, i met him at work he was my boss, after six months he said he fell in love with me and the same with me, he was everything i wanted, he gave me attention, love and respect for 5 months and then started to change his behaviour. and he gonna pay for all the pain you feel now but you don’t have to even think of that miserable man. we have set dates to stop and she even tried breaking up with me………but we just end back up together. my ex-mm never came across as controlling to me, but when you are in love, many things are blinding. what a/an *insert rude word here* – smile, things will get better! i don’t have the right to get jealous but i can’t avoid it. you’ll get all the answers you’re looking for there. when we are together for a few minutes here and there the way he makes me feel is indescribable but the heartache and loneliness when we aren’t together hurts more than the good times. my story is a little different where a married man took advantage of me.. we talk everyday like friends and when we see each other were,sleeping together. loving and leaving a married man can drive you crazy and make you do and say things that are not the real you. i have leanrt many lessons, and this i had no idea about before i met him.. he’s the second guy i’ve ever been with sexually and i just know this will not end up good but i still can’t t get enough he tells me about their troubles and his frustrations i try to give advice on but then he’ll tell me about trips they may take or vacations they go on … what to do. don’t do it to capture him, don’t keep it expecting anything more than man feeling cornered into a decision. but it is helping to know i’m not the only one in this world who has made the selfish mistake of being with a married man, but i guess you can’t help who you fall in love with. as i’ve said before, we each have our own process to go through, but keep taking it a day at a time, and don’t get down on yourself. im married and found myself attached with a colleague who is also married. he tells me he is not happy at home and the only reason why he is staying married is because of his kids..hes quite elder to me, father of a kid & married for over 10 yrs now. see i get better and he tries to sneak his way back in! btw, i met him on one of the dating sites. don’t do it to capture him, don’t keep it expecting anything more than man feeling cornered into a decision. to askthere are issues to seriously consider if you think that this man may be the one. that i’m not enough i feel so stupid… he tells me the only reason he’s doing it is because he wants a sibling for his son his son will always come first because he will not loose him he’s not doing it for his wife but i’m not studip and i’ve said this to his face i don’t believe that bs reason, any way back to the advise i’m just trying to figure out how will i survived doing no contacts but having to see him at work everyday also people at work kind of know about us and i’m worried about them laughing at me typical stupid woman gets used, he gets to walk around being the big boss the one that gets what he wants and i’m the stupid laughable woman that put myself in this situation. even if my married man was single, there are probably some items on the “bad” list that would keep you from being truly happy together, but you still can’t get over him. accidentally found site and the comments on how to end a relationship with a married man. if you aren’t even getting the basics of love care and respect, then an extra marital affair is just way more trouble than it’s worth. am also guilty of loving a married man and i am being very stupid and i need serious help. i’m stunned by the similarity- it’s as if these men have all read the same manual, isn’t it? so many of you have been saying about how your married men are back with their families and are happy and are having babies and forming stronger bonds with their spouses. i’m also the only one ever to cut ties and have even managed 2 months at a time a couple of times now. i am the wife, the mother of his children, the woman who he respects. no matter how sexy and magnetic he comes off and how many women fall for him. see the pain that loving another woman’s husband causes. have been seeing a married man for 6 years on and off. didnt say anything – except that we did the right thing and that he wouldnt stand a chance with me as long as he is married, as i deserve so much better than just being an affair. have been involved with a married man for almost 12 years. it all started when we found each other on a site for married people looking for attention. if i have learned anything it is never to get involved with a married person, no matter how deep or strong your love is. now, how many women do you know who have sacrificed all for a man? i’ve read every online article about ending things with a married man and healing. years when i was with my ex, but when with my ex i said so many times i can’t carry on like this, i wanted commitment. starting to get this anxiety that i would go look for him and waited 3 hours to come out from lunch..I’m on day 9 now and it does get easier! i am married and our marriage has issues but i have been living in denial. its very interesting how its almost always the man who has his wife, his kids, and picture of a nice life, while the mistress just pines for him and longs for a baby. it is not unusual for a woman dating a married man to hope that his marriage fails, but, its definitely not productive. he is so so much willing to get involved with my baby girl and me. i don’t know why i married him my heart has been elsewhere all this time. he was married, older, my boss and not my type. i believe a lot of people from a 1000 posts down below never came back to tell us how better it really gets. 4 days i’ve finally talked to my married man but from me texting him. give him everything he has never had all through this married life. Here's how to break up with a married man and heal your broken heart, plus encouragement from a woman who broke up with an unavailable husband that she was cheating with. my ex-married man came across as confident, comfortable in his skin, charismatic, and made me feel like i was the only person in the room.!) and trying to get level-headed about it and lower expectations, have a habit of fantasising about the future as we all do! married man and i keep getting back together…idk y honestly…why are we so afraid to let go? how do i leave the man that i am so in love with. trust me: it is no joke getting out of an affair! i am a smart woman…a business owner…i have raised 3 college graduates…i am no fool…but when it comes to this relationship i am lost! i’m supposed to go on a vacation with my married man next weekend. sometimes i stayed with him but i didn’t want to get myself too emotionally involved till he “really” divorce. 4 weeks ago i've been with my married boyfriend for 6 years! my married man even came to a wedding with his partner in my city, and low and behold, the wedding was held at my athletic club a km from my house! i can’t even explain the hell you go through as ‘the other woman’. on married man popped up on my radar as a delicious specimen of a man, discovered he was married so put him out of my mind (in that way) and enjoyed the happy and innocent friendships i was making with him and his colleagues. i come on and read the stories every time i feel down about him, it makes me realize that there isn’t such thing as a loving, special or fairytale ending when you are involved with a married man. need to find some way to get out…this man is only thinking of himself…no phone, friends go some where even living in the street is better then the situation ur in… you left home at 18, do u have family members? i know my married man loved me truly and during the time together, i couldnt complain any bit about how he treated me, we were in love head over heel. but it is helping to know i’m not the only one in this world who has made the selfish mistake of being with a married man, but i guess you can’t help who you fall in love with. they took individual surveys that said they shouldn’t be married but yet he is making excuses. i’ve heard many a people say ‘they’re all the same, we all have the same stories. im confused, and in love and not sure how to break it off without getting drawn back in. married men only want sex and the only place you can go with him is the bedroom..he is pushing me to introduce him to my family or any family function he would force his way inn he also want us to open a big business together. i know at this time, all of this sounds like an impossibility to do and i won’t lie it hurts like he** to even think about getting rid of everything, but i will say, and i absolutely promise you, when you’re ready to do it, you will literally feel just a little more liberated and free. i was resentful at happy families too, or i look at every married guy like a cheater, i am thinking “he is cheating for sure”. she called me again and asked me to stay away from her husband and i told her i was in love w him and he was in love w me and we are going to be together and she will have to accept that and wonder where he is going everytime he leaves. had a good chatty week on and off but i get down on saturdays and my am didn’t even check his phone friday evening. this time i’m fighting with everything, every prayer, every blog post, every woman who has or is in the same situation. strength, this may or may not help you, but i thought if you wanted to go back to the beginning of when i first started posting on this site, you can see that i was in the exact same place as you are now and you can get through this in time. he tried to get with me but i have my own life and i’ve been busy.! he wasn’t less emotion with me and him but we have been together for almost 2 years off and on so how can you go from emotion to almost nothing?" if you are not getting anything, you should ask the man to make the affair worth your time financially or move on.'m laurie - married, childless, joyful, saved - writing to help women blossom! i have been in his world longer than she, they have no children together and he’s on his 3rd marriage. i understand his fears and i told him that i do get it. we met at work (no longer work together) he was very shy and i mad the first move. you get a few perks: release endorphins (which make you feel great), you get to look at hot guys, and you eventually look even more amazing.’ve been with a married man for the past 5 years. the roots of our behavior go way back in our lives to long before the married man was in our lives. we had broken up once before and i schemed to get him back. when things get to this level of dysfunction, it doesn’t get better. i know he loves me, he’s cried so many times about the situation, but i believe if you really genuinely love someone you’ll do almost anything to be with them…marrying someone else is going to guarantee we’ll never be together..There is no future with a married man wishing all the time. if i sit here and constantly dwell on how heartbroken i am, i feel i would get in a rut and feel the heartbreak indefinitely. he eventually contacted me via text and then a quick phone call but he had to get back to work. it is all different for everyone, but as sharon always said, please realise than most those married men if not all are narcissist and the only thing their want is their own happiness. stop calling him “my married man” he’s not yours. i keep asking god for signs, & no matter how many signs god gave me, i always refused to believe them. was involved with a man who didn’t tell me he was married, until the day his wife found the proof she needs for divorce that he’s been cheating. now i am wondering-does the fact that your married man was a narc make you all feel better, or worse? am dating, in fact i have fallen in love with total opposite man…. he has someone to keep him warm, through the nights, while i stare at the ceiling with endless thoughts and so many questions and the hours seeming like days. have had a relationship with my married man for 4 yrs and it just ended yesterday when he told me his wife is pregnant. i also said to him that if he truly didn’t care about her being with anyone else (he told me on many occasions that he didn’t), why did it bother him enough to question her. once we leave our mm, it feels so hard because we are not getting much of an emotional connection with the husband either, but we have to look inwards at ourselves for validation and happiness and contentment. i no longer know how to relate to him because the confirmation that he’s married has changed how i look at him now…reality does really hit hard and it’s made me go back in my mind and disbelieve many things he said to you that may not have been genuine. i always see him as such a good person, he never promised me anything, he said i should go many times because he loved me and did not want to hurt me. but thats not enough we need to be the one and only woman in a relationship with a man..don’t imagine them, stop doing it (i used to do the same…so many times), you need to get busy, all the time, just keep yourself busy so your mind is busy, then you are tired go to bed sleep and it is the next day. have gone back on my word , all the comments i have made, my married man has been in contact with me, he asked me if i would let him stay with me for the night, as his wife is away for a few, days, and haven’t had the chance to do this very often in the 5 years, so stupidity, i said yes, we arranged that he would come when she had rung him , which would have been about 11. i have no idea wat to do in order to forget him & move on in my life. i hope you get the help you need, you need to talk to someone. the last two years i have had so many arguments about the situation with him, told him i want to be loved and made to feel special… he tells me he knows… he tells me he wants things to change too… i like to think after all these years i know him well, and i do feel sorry and sad for him too, i know we both want to be together, but it hasnt happened properly in 10 years… so my heart and head tell me i need to leave this situation as its affecting the person that i want to be…. are my thoughts too, we have husbands that love us & i know if he ever found out about my married man i would lose it all and cause so much hurt in the process to my kids, my husband. i broke up with my married man for 2 months now. i thought to myself — this man tells me he sleeps in different areas of the house with her, he’s not in love with her, they don’t sleep together, they barely talk, he’s only there because of his daughter, etc. you need to go no contact now because this man will destroy your life and steal your soul. i am up and down from sad to angry, giving in for a bit and getting even angrier the next day. it may get worse before it gets better…but it will get better., what you says almost explains my married man’s behavior., wish u get all the strength to deal with this!“you will find that when you see the blessing in the darkness, many other blessings will also come to light – new support, new dreams to be fulfilled, new ways to connect to your divine inner guidance and god-given worth. we would share stories (he was cheating before with other women), and he would even give me advice on my failed romances. there is always an emotional void in my life because my marriage is kind of based on responsibility and structure of family, my bf ( the married man ) is 4 years younger than me. we have parted for 3 months already but i cant seem to bear the pain, i cant get myself used to it..don’t imagine them, stop doing it (i used to do the same…so many times), you need to get busy, all the time, just keep yourself busy so your mind is busy, then you are tired go to bed sleep and it is the next day. i am married too and my marriage is very very troubled. if you abuse someone (and that means cheat on them, hit them, not talk to them, erode their self esteem and so many other different ways) and it happens once, maybe twice, it could be written off as an aberration caused by drinking, stress, medication or fatigue. the many posts i’ve read on this site, as well as what’s happened to me personally, it’s clear that there have been numerous lies told, promises broken, silent treatments given, guilt-shaming, blame-shifting, false or vague explanations, etc. sometimes i wish, if he were a jerk, it’d be easier for me to get over it, but he wasn’t. but moving forward she went out of town and we’ve spent every day together. i love her, don’t see her as the other woman and i want to spend my life with her. he’s been with his wife since highschool (he’s 40 i’m 25) and they have kids together. but for this man, there is never enough love, never enough attention, never enough adulation, never enough sex. he has brought you down to a place where you no longer feel like you can get up. if someone sees me from the outside, they would see a confident, assertive and happy woman. in march, i met a man or so i thought. on monday night when my friend called to tell me he was sick i was already upset because of something he had done a few days before so when he told me he was sick i wasn’t sure if it was a ploy to get me back but i was extremely upset and didn’t get any sleep that night and then the next morning he text me to say that he shouldn’t have called me and that he was fine and not to worry. she hooks on to him(fucking him with her gf while he is still married to wife #1.. may his career get screwed as thats wat is most important for him. i told the married man yesterday i wish i wer like u, heartless & unaffected, wud hav been easy for me to move on, like u hav. sometimes i feel like i’m married to him, yet i’m not…. but selfishly rejoiced that we could be together because we were “soulmates. she told him the kids would call another man daddy and to move out if he didn’t end it immediately. he came over a few days later we slept together and he says i love you for the first time. a few years ago, my very dear friend at work had an affair with her boss who is married. my married man has 3 children, one of whom is autistic. aren’t together now, we can’t be, it was turning me into a mean, frustrated person with a lot of anxiety.. i later went on facebook and found out he had been married 3 years now. to be with the man that you should be with.! i am just 20 and u got involved with a married guy who was working with me. it will take months, maybe years but every day that you wait for someone to give you crumbs, you’re wasting one day that you’ll never get back. what i did till i knew how to live without my married man. i cannot believe how badly a man who professed to love you can behave. i should look back & think, what is that i am getting, or have got till date from this relationship? i, myself, was not able to cut off all contacts at once (i tried two times, but it was sooo very painful for me that i had to restart it), so that i then was diminishing communication with my married man slowly, getting slowly detached from his texts/emails (and those were several times a day before! however, i wouldn’t want to ever forget the love we shared. i didn’t eat, almost lost my job, had to get on medication, and attempted to end my life. long story short, he got home around 3am we text a few times but i was feeling very insecure and thinking he was not at work that late but with another woman…i thought this because i have been reading articles and forums about the disasters of dealing with a mm. i quit looking at my married man’s wife’s account because it’s all fake. that you deserve better than an affair with a married man. so it is up to me to get healthier and to leave him! that means that he will get an apartment, he will move out, he will give you keys to his apartment, he will have you around his child, he will take you when he goes to pick up his child for visits. but my husband hadn’t touched me for many years even though i begged him to please get help, to no avail. m nt happy with this kinda arrangement where he has me as a filler n his wife as a permanent solution! i can’t wait to get to the point where i am not thinking about him throughout every second of every day. in fact out of 20 years we have been “together” i have left him and gone no contact (! don’t get me wrong, it still hurts at times, but at least i can see the truth for what it is and i am no longer in denial. now i get on his nerves and he doesn’t hide that fact. i’m not going to get into the details of how i ended up loving someone who was married, because it’s not important at this point, but just know that i did not set out to be in this type of relationship. keep faith that this situation will turn around the blessing of god will manifest in your life. i know i will never get involved with a married man again and i know what i deserve now. its been 34 days since i ended a 2 year relationship with my married man. i’m a married woman that is desperately trying to end thing with a very clingy man. a married man: memoirs from the "other women" and over one million other books are available for amazon kindle.. i dnt see any, any reason why i m with this married man! in all the time i have ever known him or have seen him with her (and there have been too many) i have never seen anything like that. now, how do i get out of love without feeling the weight and guilt of losing my soul mate…? it does not matter what i'm reading about…so many traits and stories are him, and what he has done and said to me and his gf (we are both played) and now i reckon the poor ex wife…no wonder she's a little crackers, i feel sometimes i may join her! after many sleepless nights, feeling horrendous, i was really good and didn’t contact him (yes i keep checking my email but at least didn’t reach out! so, are most married men who maintain long term affairs narcissists? am also married my marriage has been unhappy for the last two years and i know that’s not an excuse. yourself so hard you can’t get angry because of anything ,that also means you have forgiven yourself! likewise, if you think he will be happy if you have an abortion and its not what you want, you will hate him and yourself for putting yourself through that for a man who walked away and never looked back. he told me how much he loved me and felt that we were meant to be together and how he was going to leave his wife. they have no children together, however, his son (25 yrs – prev. for every single one of us there is a new, bright and free future, with a man who will love us and for whom we will mean the world! had to stay separate and then again we reunited and start staying together. men are human lol, they can and probably do have feelings for us but remember: more than likely there was someone before you and will be after you. just before he met me he was already planning his amazing job overseas to look after his amazing kids and nothing was going to get in the way of that – so i don’t know why he ever bothered with me but i guess love is a complicated thing. he done many things for his wife which i only found out last week. hopefully we’ll get more and more of these women (and possibly men in the same situation) to see things from a different perspective. after not seeing the married man for about 10 years (i broke it off) i started seeing him again because my partner passed away. almost a year of my life, i was with this man. thought i’d say hello and thank you all as ever for your wonderful comments on breaking up with a married man. i wish you all the strength in the world to get out, it hurts you feel empty and hurt and you want to die. negative i don’t know what to do now after 16 years together it’s like the divorce you never asked for. i want to be friends and stay friends till the day i get divorced. my married man and i were acquaintances in the gym. that’s when i knew i had to start really focusing on a process to get myself out, if he wasn’t going to change his life. m totaly pissed with him n wana get rid of him as soon as m prepared. later we lost contact and met back through facebook, by then i am married with two kids. the married man who used to have his wife’s undivided attention might have to realize that he can no longer be the center of her universe and the relationship might become more of a struggle. 6 months ago hmm there seems to be a lot of store put on whether he lied about being married. you for sharing your stories about being involved with a married man. if even a smidgen of it was real and true and heaven sent, a man who’s sincerely in love with you would’ve never allowed you to be put in a position where you’re having to wait for him to leave another woman. i’m not letting my feelings get involved this time around. can honestly not tell you enough that things get worse and not better, don’t let the situation get more complex when you’re also close to his wife. don’t be like me and so many other women on this site who have given in time and time again because we get suckered back in by breaking nc. he wanted to have kids and his parents pressured him and heck, even found him a bride..find my own husband…and forget the coward fuck boys…excuse my language…but thats what they are…. were so many times that i said i was done with him, but somehow, i always went back. here’s how to break up with a married man and heal your broken heart, plus encouragement from a woman who broke up with an unavailable husband that she was cheating with. our love is stronger than our own ego and we are willing to sacrifice our pride for the love from that person.) holding me hostage, it made me laugh as true but it’s great to also now chuckle at the situation especially when it gets to the point that what has happened is just totally unbelievable! i’m just so consumed by him and i’m so tired of being ok with us not being together and then back at it again. most woman who are in relationships with married man or involved go through a lot of psychological pain and suffering, low selfesteem. wrote me so many messages that he really loves how about he formalizes our relationship . although i am hurting i know that this would be my first and last time messing with a man that is in a relationship -married or not. i’ve asked him so many times to just “break up with me” but he never does – and this keeps me hooked and in love with him. told my married man before that i knew he didn’t love me – mainly to see how he would react or say – he said well the sex is the best that i’ve ever had and i ain’t stopping it now.’d like to thank all of you for giving me strength to continue to stick to my guns and let my married man go! so i’m the other woman and i’m being cheated on. as we were in live-in it was very difficult for me to get over with him. when he realized i was no longer playing by his set of rules (manipulations), he discarded me out of the blue. i found his wife’s fb page and looked at everything they did together as family these last two years. honestly, sometimes i find myself wishing i’d get something from mine too just so i can throw the silent treatment back in his face. i really saw his true colors and i realized that i would not want to be married to someone like him. i am up and down from sad to angry, giving in for a bit and getting even angrier the next day. i was indeed busy but my problem is, the busier i am, the more i miss that man. but now, he said he shouldn’t have lifted his bar so high so it’s time i get accustomed to reality that we have family to care of, to hide from and not to arouse their suspicions.

How do you plan a speed dating event

How to tell dating a married man

part of what i loved about my married man was his emotional availability. i know because of this experience i will never, in my life, have another affair and i will never again fall prey to someone as conning and manipulative as the ex-mn. my ex-mm never came across as controlling to me, but when you are in love, many things are blinding. i be careful of how often i express any of my feelings…its just so dumb because i don’t even know why i’m continuing to entertain this when i know…he+me will never = we i wish i had other male friends i was dating. searching for what your life is missing – and it’s not a married man. we have talked about moving in together and getting a house, i'll move to where he lives because honestly i don't care where i live and can relocate anywhere. am currently dating a married man and i need to cut off all tires with him after reading all these mails it so true the only way is to block him so you have no tires at all with him his promises i cannot deal with any more i deserve so much more than this really i do thanks for all the emails on this website made me decide its not worth waiting. i remember the beginning of my affair as one of the “best” moments romantically in my life. i don’t like who i am and i know i’m better off without him it’s just getting to that point of not caring. he had asked if it bothered me that he was married and i said no, i was so caught up in what was going on i didn’t think twice. have been dating a married man for a year now., i really feel i can relate to you in many ways.!I read your stories of seeing your married man and wife on fb…ouch…. married men just move on so quickly, as if nothing ever happened. as long as they can get away with their wives and come back like nothing every happened, they will just move on and forget everything. there is a way to get through this, and once you kick this, the sense of self worth and relief is mind blowing. if you really think about it they’re getting the best of both worlds and now all of their needs are being met.’ve bought the caravan he and i were looking at buying, they got a new dog, she’s posting on his business page about their romantic trip to paris. years after that suggestion…we’ve not even had a weekend together! the problem is i find out he’s been playing me, to get a piece of me and now he not answering my text or when we do run into each other he yells.! how did u get the strength to handle it for 10 years? hey, life is not only just love of a man - what's about your career? tomorrow you will get to see him and all of this will feel better. this man has made me cut all contact with my husband( my husband left me, but soon after realized all his mistakes and was trying evergthing to come back to me), he made me put my life on hold for him, has kept me bound indoors…. the woman says she is not interested in sex anymore. but i’m not carrying on being a secret, i deserve a man who can love me 100% of the time, as we all do. then friday came, and midday he was off, to his real life. its funny until you are the wife about to get divorced by your husband and all your years and efforts are down d drain because of a group of people that rely on their genitals for their thinking! i can see that some of the narcissistic traits matched my mm, so many didn’t. after i found out he was married he downplayed it and acted as if they were separated. year together, i finally started putting my foot down and gave him a deadline and 3 days before the deadline, he stopped all contact with me. and i had never been with a married man and it worried my sisters and friends alike. everything you described is my married man and our situation to a tee. he kept insulting my husband and calling him all names for what he did to me and said he would never do that to any women yet at this point in time its all he has been doing and if i even mention it to him he thens gets aggressive saying i’m comparing him to my puss husband. years with a man i had known from work and became extremely good friends with, for the first 10 years previous to our relationship beginning. it’s just plain wrong to block/ignore from the get go. she was so uncomfortable and hurt with the incident as she treats him as her good friend, and she hate dating mm. i know the best thing is for us to not be together cause when we’re not in not wondering when i’ll talk to him again but it still makes me sad. i’ve tried breaking it off numerous times and like you get the begging, pleading and threats of wanting to kill himself. getting involved with a married man has taught me so many valuable lessons; however, i will never do it again. during the conversations we had he would tell me about his previous affairs and how we was a manwhore and he had left his wife once got bored of the girl and went back home. if you reach out to him, you will just get back onto the roller coaster, and believe me as one who had endured the roller coaster for years, it is not where you want to be. he’s also an energy vampire and after we spend time together i’m left depleted. i already feel lonely but i’d rather be alone and healthy with myself than lonely in a really sick, unhealthy relationship with a married man. want to end this affair because you know it’s wrong to cheat with another woman’s husband.’m so tired at the moment from losing my job to money to family worries etc that i’m not even putting my point across, except please stop seeing him, join local friendship clubs, find a hobby where you’re with people, get yourself on a dating website for ‘casual’ dating. started dating seriously in 2016 mar he was the best man to ever happen to me he was 32yrs when we met . i have been reading so many books to help get me through, along with talking to a counselor, my mother and a couple of really close (nonjudgmental) friends. he's been trying to get me to see for several months. what type of man of father does that to their child? one of the problems is that living in the same town, so close, meant all we could do was to meet at my house for a few hours when he could get away. i met him on a dating site and we become couple after a month plus. when i met my mm he was so charming sweet and handsome my type lol anyway i never knew he was seeing anthor woman til one day i look through his mail while he in the shower i seen a woman name the mail but i had been with him 9m before seeing the woman’s name he had told me there were nobody else the way it looked to me there wasn’t anybody else but me but it all seemed a big old lie my betfriend finds him on fb married and having twins with his wife while i’m 5mths pregant with his baby boy i was alone during pregancy baby shower it was hard but i am strong i’m so hurt now 2016 its 4yrs over been with him i don’t know how to leave him i love him so but i need faith to move on hes in and out my life my son life his not supportive emotionally i just need a way to find the courage to move on to better. patience is needed with the writing style and multiple editorial gaffes, but the book contains loads of wisdom and a pov about affairs that is hardheaded and realistic and -- at the same time -- one that you'll never get reading articles about infidelity on the internet, or anywhere. two months and i’m still pining for him why do i feel so down all the time why hasn’t he bothered trying to get in touch with me it’s killing me 🙁 he’s just moved on and forgotten about me and i’m just stuck here thinking of him. by reading so many of these posts here from other women here i do believe the mm in my life is a garden variety narcissist. point, nen, get out now before he truly f**ks your entire life over because he will. falling in love so hard and getting out so easily while i cry almost everyday and my life is all messed up”? i told my married man that i wanted to be there and he got mad. i finally told him i couldn’t do it anymore if he didn’t make a choice to get a divorce- so he told me to move on. stumbled across this page last night on my way home from work and it has been so helpful to read everyone else’s stories and to not know that i am the only woman who had an affair with a married man. just confused, i dont know if he needs time to think or if its another woman. i always knew he was married from the beginning, she was in a diferent country and he was alone you could say. i tried to find a way to end our relationship by getting a new job but i still couldn’t end it. however, i sit and think how this is probably keeping me further away from my goal of having a successful relationship with an available man. later in 2016 i contacted my married man, i had never really got over him and just needed to speak with him. it will be extremely overwhelming at first, but it will give you answers to questions you may find yourself asking, if you choose to stay with your married man. she has no idea what kind of man she is married to…i think if she look at my proof it will prove what a dog he is…. but, thinking of it further, could never be with him–distrust issues and would always be the other woman no matter what. i’m so tired and i feel like i just want let his wife know and for him to get what he deserves. as much as i’m baffled with my attached man (i’m ‘forever waiting’, please excuse my spelling and general errors, its so hard to type on a mobile! i see other couple out together and i'm instantly thinking why cant that be me. what hooked me hard one time was seeing my married man cry because he said he couldn’t leave wife and family and wanted to provide for me as the love of his life, but couldn’t as he felt bad abandoning innocent people. i know, it has been 4 months since our dday and we were together for a year. get some help, talk to a professional, read some books about forgiving yourself. it’s early days (a few months) but i forgot what it was like having undivided attention of a true and single man who puts you first and can text and call anytime! can stay away but they need time to find comfort and forget things. they have deteriorated over time, and i’m looking to get back into church, even if i’m watching sermons online and then hopefully some volunteering. i dnt wana lose my husband, coz the day he gets to knw abt this, he wil throw divorce on my face & i wont hav anywhr to go! i feel horrible… he then spends 30 minutes on the phone with me while out getting the groceries to entertain her and their friends for a dinner party tonight. dealing with married men while single might be harder coz those ‘lonely’ moments at night alone-the mental movies will start and you start overthinking, overanalysing……. when you sleep with your boss, you entangle your love life with your financial affairs — and the best thing to do after you stop dating a married man is to get financially independent! crazy twisted thing is we used to be together 15 years ago for two years. my married man hid the fact that he was married when we met. i’m sure he talks with his wife while he’s in the office when we’re not together between 8-5pm..find my own husband…and forget the coward fuck boys…excuse my language…but thats what they are…. i worked with a married man for yrs and became involved. i met him in college and we are planning to spend the rest of our life together. i would end up spending years of my life with a man who in reality is never going to leave. don’t forget to look in the mirror and acknowledge you and who you are now abd tge person you were before you got sucked into this situation. i always took pride in my relationship because my husband is an awesome man. if you can learn what you’re looking for, you’re one step closer to knowing how to break up with a married man. i get told to just stop thinking about him and move on and i think well i’m trying to? his situation is similar to mine – we fell out of love with our spouses and crave the romance and physical/emotional connection we are not getting at home. i stupidly thought ok well we will never be together but hes a cool guy to chat with and thats it well 3 months after that the chatting turned into amazing sex and now @6 months down the line, im trying to figure out how to let him go. the following few days he called me and said he’s sorry of his lied and he wanted to divorce his wife but many reasons that he can’t and his wife did not want to. both of us are married but her husband already called it quits. after the christmas holiday, i told him i didn’t want to continue anymore and i managed to put a stop to it for a few months.!Fw thank you so much for your comment and i sincerely hope you can break away from the man who’s holding you hostage.’ve replied to some messages in here last friday but they still haven’t updated. professional help is very good (but even with a professional help it will take a while to get your brain back to the normal functioning). i learned if i reject him, he will try to move on to another woman quickly so he does not have to feel any blow to his ego. last night i get a text that he is in the hospital and lost control of his car. hg tudor also has many, many books (on amazon) describing in full detail what a narcissist is all about. please take back control and stop all contact with this married man. nobody should talk to woman just to put her down. they love me also but i can't go on another 7 years with a married man. you get your high and then crash like you didn’t know you could feel such abandonment, sadness and shame. so many of us here have been lied to and have believed the lies. if this man is showing any signs at all of dysfunction, it’s simply not a good, healthy relationship for you. i can’t believe how much time and energy i wasted on this man. but never ever ever underestimate the power of the mm (especially a narc) to try and play mind games to get you back! the second time around i really started looking at him from outside of the bubble and it was getting less and less attractive to me. i’ve met a couple of men i liked who were single, but they turned out to be players who want to be with many women. apparently he moved home and now i found out after we shared nights together just cuddling, kissing, and he performed oral sex on me, i found out he is married. but i dnt discuss my marital problems with him coz he wil get ego boost instead i talk only good things abt my husband n how much he luvs me. he is not happy with his life and he hasn’t for many years. he isn’t either, as he works long hours and is touch with me daily, either texting or calling or planning our time together. may god bless you because you’ll need the strength, wisdom and patience with yourself to get through this, but you can get through it. she has to hear this ex pull up outside her house 3 times a week to pick us his daughter, he refused to say goodbye claiming ‘i’d break down and i don’t want to cheat on my new woman’ – very rich coming from him as he forgot to end it with my friend before he decided to start with this other woman! he’s married 38 yrs, never says anything bad about wife. married man always said i wish i can do this ,i wish i can do that with you. then i told him i will not do that its just i want to get even with him and not serious about what i told him but he is mad so mad that i told him ok do you want us to separate now? i have to show this fool what kind of woman i am. laura, i knew my ex-married man for 10 years before ever getting involved. i counted how many times i tried leaving my ex-married man, and it is 7 on the dot. but if you really want to get out of an affair you can do it! have been involved less then a year with a married man. because like any addiction, i am powerless over the married man. yet it is those very same men who have lured their way into pur lives and who have played and manipulated us.’ve been seeing a married man for a year and known him for 3 years ! i have been with a married man for the last 12 months. i know each day i’ll get stronger and will be free from this feeling.’m so tired at the moment from losing my job to money to family worries etc that i’m not even putting my point across, except please stop seeing him, join local friendship clubs, find a hobby where you’re with people, get yourself on a dating website for ‘casual’ dating. but you have to figure this out and put an end to the married man once and for all and move on with your life with your bf. married myself with 3 children but no feelings for my husband. you will see that each time it happens and you begin to get stronger. this man wasn’t able to give you this attention all the time because he was married, but i am sure that there is another man for you that does. i can’t even explain the hell you go through as ‘the other woman’. this man wasn’t able to give you this attention all the time because he was married, but i am sure that there is another man for you that does. that he had listened to a couple of songs that were mine and his when we were together and he feels horrible for how he treated me the last few weeks while we were together. he is married, and says they have an open relationship. when i would say he and his wife did not look uncomfortable together, he used to tell me “all that glitters is not gold! too, like all of you am involved with a married man. to single men, there are thousands and many nice ones. he wants you to keep dating him even though he’s married and even though he won’t leave his wife. i don’t think he can help it cause i know i’m not the only woman he’s had an affair with. on married man popped up on my radar as a delicious specimen of a man, discovered he was married so put him out of my mind (in that way) and enjoyed the happy and innocent friendships i was making with him and his colleagues. i feel hard for this man over a 9 year timeframe like a fool! be aware that not everything you read in these articles are going to be exactly what your married man does; however, i guarantee a huge chunk of it does. he has been to my home and job before, but to be honest, i do not believe he will come to either demanding what happened. 21 years ago i started a new job and was introduced to a married man who was to become an important part of my life. this time i’m fighting with everything, every prayer, every blog post, every woman who has or is in the same situation. loving and dating a married man can be extremely painful and seldom works out well. there, weve all been there, i was right where you were only last weekend too, its hard but yes you do get thru it in the end. but i’ll be honest, it’s getting old and i’m starting to think i’m going to dump both of them sooner rather than later… but again, if i tell both of them i’m seeing 2 men, i’m willing to bet they won’t accept it and won’t want to see me anymore, which would be fine with me. i have been so tempted and on day 4 i dont know how i will get through this but we have to stay strong. don’t forget,heartbreak, you said yourself, “i don’t even know what was reality and what was illusion”.. i have not been keeping wel since 2 days, i even told him this, but that horrible man didn’t care to ask me the whole day how i was feeling. song w the video of dancing gets me every time. hes the worst human being in the history of mankind! i got the image and i have it on my computer for when i get tempted to reach out to that scumbag.. the msgs were not hateful like always but i just wrote in a mature manner how i feel now, i hav let go & i learned to detach and be heartless from him. of course, he had every excuse in the book: he couldn’t bear the thought of breaking his child’s heart and telling her he and his mother would no longer be together; he could never find the time to sit down and speak with her about how they would tell their daughter, or when they would tell her, because they seldom were home at the same time; or their child was around and they couldn’t have the conversation. i had said the same things to him so many times, that it was almost starting to lose its meaning. one thing i’ve been struggling with lately, is just getting him out of my head. and gosh how bad do i think all of us should get together for a week, let it all out of the rage, pain, disappointment and then look forward to life. on monday night when my friend called to tell me he was sick i was already upset because of something he had done a few days before so when he told me he was sick i wasn’t sure if it was a ploy to get me back but i was extremely upset and didn’t get any sleep that night and then the next morning he text me to say that he shouldn’t have called me and that he was fine and not to worry. was scared of dating, and he has gone ‘cold’ since, not in a horrible way, but he is a little confused as i’ve turned him down for 6 years, i feel like a besotted teenager and except for checking my phone still to see if the am has been online checking for messages from me – i’ve not given him one thought really as this young guy has captured my attention and heart. i am dating single men that can actually take me out to dinner. dumped my married man on 15/4/17 this time for the 6th time and im sure this time im done ,i will not listen to his please again ,we had dated for 2 years he never told me he still stays with his baby mama all along i thought i was dating a single dad i had been suspicious he could be staying with the baby mama but never had proof when i found the proof i dumped him but his been contacting me since his been pleading that he loves me & wants to marry me but truth is if he really wanted to marry me the 2 years we hve been together he would have already broken up with baby mama to settle for me he dnt. i walked on water, and basked in sunlight for so many years. married man and i have been messing around for a few months and i am beginning to get bored with this but no matter how bored i feel with it at times my life would seem emptier without him.. i was shocked wen i heard this but so blindfolded in love that i ignored the fact that if my husband really gets to know n decides to divorce me, i wil hav nowhere to go! told me he was happily married he didn’t want to leave her. my story we worked together for 4 years, we always had much respect for each other, never cross each other the wrong way. i, along with many others, have been witness to how cold and aloof she was towards my affair partner, as well as towards others, and how their relationship was just really odd at best. because me breaking with him has totally failed its now like ajoke i think as i breakup with him when he pleads i forgive him because no man has been good to me like him. but i try to tell myself that what he gets up to with his wife is no longer my business. get your kindle here, or download a free kindle reading app. how do you let go of a hot successfull young married man you love and he shows he loves you im so torn i dumped him on 15. my problem is i cant be the other woman it kills me so much despite my married man being so good to me supporting me financially denying he stays with any woman telling me he loves me soo much and showing it to me i want to let it go because i want the number one spot not second. don’t be like me and so many other women on this site who have given in time and time again because we get suckered back in by breaking nc. his situation is similar to mine – we fell out of love with our spouses and crave the romance and physical/emotional connection we are not getting at home. in my heart, i want to believe that this is true love because through it all, and it has been incredibly difficult at times, we have stayed together. i was getting over a heartbreak and worked really late hours in order to cope with the pain. but he is suddenly cold the last few weeks and canceled getting together this week due to his boss scheduling a meeting he can’t get out of. during that date i asked him if he was married and his reply was yes. i am working on myself, but it’s hard to pull yourself up after the beating your dignity and self worth has taken being on a roller coaster for so many years., im in a relationship with a married man for almost 6 years now a have a son with him and our son he is 3 years old , we are working at the same place so he decided to move in with me and now i really want to break up with him coz it doesn’t assist me anymore plz help me to out of this mess. my parents wont accept me n this man wont leave his family for me, this he made clear from day 1! i finally told him i couldn’t do it anymore if he didn’t make a choice to get a divorce- so he told me to move on.. i know one thing though, no man has ever treated me like this before. i hope i get out of it and stay strong. thought i’d say hello and thank you all as ever for your wonderful comments on breaking up with a married man. ended up getting stranded because my friend’s phone had died so he said i could stay in his spare room because his fiancée was away for the weekend. many of us have, it is tough, it hurts every day, but this is doable. i can’t believe how much time and energy i wasted on this man. need to get your butt looking flyy taking dope, sexy pics, and start “feeling” yourself” (beyonce voice). i got so hurt it is hard to describe the pain i suffered and it took me many many break ups over many years to get totally away from him. i can’t figure out how i let myself get into this situation but i need to figure out how to get out of it. my married man has a daughter from a previous marriage and she decided she wanted to live with her mom full time because she doesn’t like to be at mm home due to her not liking his wife. it’s been over seven weeks now since i last spoke to my married man that’s almost two months! i hope to get over this initial painful period soon. 3 months ago i feel in love with a married man. my married man and i have had the greatest time together. a point i had a complete life without him,it was not easy but i took advantage of the times he abandoned me to get strength . do t forget men are there when it’s easy when it start being hard and requiring real proof of love they leave us alone, because ” you are so strong, you are the stronger woman i have ever met it’s incredible” bullshit, they just want to take the guilt away and feel like we can endure anything that the wife can’t. so we have no contact for a few weeks, he neither phones me (never does, i phone him when he is ‘free’ so i’m not on his phone bill bet many can relate to that! have been seeing a married man for over a year. 5 years there have been so many times where i’ve been hopelessly depressed and i’d go out with my friends have drinks and meet men almost like rebelling against him. i came out a difficult marriage and my married man has been unhappy a very long time in his. of course you still hurt, you are a normal woman and people hurt from getting played in the way we get played. he will disappear on his own when he no longer gets what he wants.. ladies, plz plz plz tell me how do i end things with my married man? know it’s hard to think of your married men as anything less than great, but at least take the time to read the two blogs i’ve posted below and sincerely ask yourselves … “have mind games been played on me – from the beginning of the relationship up until right now? how many people do you know who post happy, loving photos while being unhappy or flat out miserable? do not go back… the problem (married man) cannot also be the solution.?Click on this website:And there is information for help that will get you out of that environment – you need to leave and the sooner the better. then i got married to my on again off again bf while he was in korea and had never indicated he wanted more. he will never commit to you, the moment he gets in hot water with you, he will turn back to his wife in such a way that it will leave your head spinning. it’s a slow healing process, but will get better. am has wasted the most important years of my life, i can never forgive him, my chances of having children are running low at 38 yrs old and i could have spent the past 3 years dating to find the right partner rather than him manipulating me. ive been there and we tried many times to break up but didnt work until his wife found out about us the 2nd time. we need to change that and get a new routine. it’s your hearts way of telling you that you are going to be ok and get through this. anyway this man that was pursuing me i finally gave in around may of this year and i’m embarrassed and ashamed to say we had online sex. always say start loving yourself and get your personal power back. we’ve done this so many times in the last two years and each time when it’s him coming back he’s sweet and says what i need to hear and then he’s back to not talking to me. there, weve all been there, i was right where you were only last weekend too, its hard but yes you do get thru it in the end. i believe you when you say things will get better, i know it will get better because this is not the first time i’ve been through such break up. we chatted daily but i only let it happen once a day, i didn't want to take his time away from his kids and their time together. i am getting more drained and tired with all these nonsense. we may hate the wife because we are in competition with her for her husband, but believe me she is just an ordinary woman like us with dreams and aspirations and faith in this man she is actually unfortunate to be married to. song w the video of dancing gets me every time. not too many nice guys here and i’m not getting any younger either. he sends gifts, loves me to pieces, can’t wait until this is all behind us, can’t wait until we can be together and not have to hide, etc. his wife is very nice and sweet lady married to him since she was 18 years old., think of this his wife has no peace of mind, and married to a cheating scumbag, and you have freedom x. feel i am in love with this married man, in the beginning he will call me often but those calls and texts have been little. i’m sorry to say through experience, you’ll spend a week with him, be on an absolute high, then return and get so low it feels like depression, this becomes the norm and is far from the norm! took me a longggg time to get here but i'm never going back now. i knew he was married with 2 kids, i was also married but left my husband once i realised i wasn't actually in love with my husband at the time. my engagement ended a year ago then i reengaged with my married man months later. he sees you as a valuable woman, he will know that other men are after you, and he will want to make sure that he gets you before someone else does. am with a married man for coming 18 months and am trying to get out of this relationship. but he would flirt with me and eventually we started “dating”. having other people in similar situations who can relate to you is definitely comforting and it gives me courage to let go of this man. it’s the happiness you derive becoz the guy dumped you to get married to the other girl and when he says he misses you u think you are the priority in his life and you mean the world to him. single one of us, whether you choose to believe it or not, had major emotional mind games played on us (some still being played), and manipulations that go well beyond normal. we’ve broken up so many times and he has been the one to break down and get back into contact. for dating a married manyou may not have set out to fall in love with a married man, but there are times in life when even the most intelligent women find their emotions getting the better of them.’m astonished reading your stories about having an affair with a married man. i mean we don’t live a life together nor anything else outside of work because he is married but to put it plainly, it is based on secrets. but they are probably so entangled in their lies, control, and manipulations, just as we once were. there’s something wrong about that sentence because no princess would be kept in the dark and be given such pain by a man. no stalking facebook, don’t do things you used to do together. i met my married man at work 6 months ago, long story short we met, fell “in love”, had aaammmaaaazzziiiinnngggggg sex, i even stopped dating and was faithful to him (ironic and dumb, i know) we would talk every morning, all day at work, and evenings. please know we are all in this together, and it will get better. the thing that has me really hurt right now is i saw the married man this week and the next day my son had surgery. he only cared for me as long as i was in his safety bubble of narcissism, those little gifts were in his safety net of not getting financially caught, he did the max he could to keep me nearby, interested, romanced, somehow that made him feel like the macho man. i am not sure that my married man is a narcissist, i get confused because so many of the traits do not match what he is. he’s an insecure man and preyed on your vulnerability. but the mask of deception fell off 33 days ago when he took his wife on a romantic weekend away to london. how many of us grew up with strong morals, faith, happiness, and are also the last people in the world anyone would ever suspect would be in this situation?) how did he expect us to live together and raise a child if he was married -no response. happy to have found a platform where i can be honest about my situation, i too am in a relationship with a married man,im now realising that i am not happy, although he gives me everything i want,he is currently paying my rented apartment ,i have a job that seems to be promising but im scared to break up with him because i do not make enough to support myself, this is a confession that i fell for a guy and got comfortable with material gain, i know i have a good head on my shoulders ,i shouldnt be in this situation. year together, i finally started putting my foot down and gave him a deadline and 3 days before the deadline, he stopped all contact with me. i’ve met a couple of men i liked who were single, but they turned out to be players who want to be with many women. tomorrow you will get to see him and all of this will feel better.…i had totally forgotten how really feeling like a princess felt – this was it, a man all to myself. because he isn’t leaving…i used to say he ‘can’t’ leave, but it’s a choice, however it may mess things up in many ways for a while. i know because of this experience i will never, in my life, have another affair and i will never again fall prey to someone as conning and manipulative as the ex-mn. 10 months ago it is dead wrong to be "in love" with a married man!… here is my update; it gets harder coming here to update- a funny thing happens after you srart healing; the grieving starts diminishing and you tend to forget. i have been dating my married man for 6 months sleeping with him for 2 months and i am too experiencing the rollercoaster. his apparent passion et al is manufactured to draw fuel (emotional attention) from you.… haven’t updated in 2 days which only means i’m getting better. if the married man is not going to leave his wife it is a truly hopeless situation and it is emotional quicksand…the more you are in it, the harder it is to get out of it. is my coworker, i was married my left my husband earlier this year. anyway i have no other choice except to grit my teeth and get on with my life- sans him. not to him or any other man who’s not mine. there are no exceptions, i would definitely end up being hurt – so it was better to dump him immediately rather than wait months, maybe years (as many of you) and get deeply involved with him. he may not be 100% happy but who cares, he still gets to wake up having his wife and his family while im still on my own sobbing, they still have each other and he can be with her, comforting her while im being abandoned. if these thoughts don’t pass, get yourself back to your doctor asap and tell him. month isn’t really that long, you sound like you’re getting stronger already. sent me a picture of him in the car (the last text i sent him was very romantic but he did like he did not read it or something) i did not answer, he texted “have a great evening! this january he went on a family vacation, during this time he messaged me he missed me, i was getting tired of everything, so i sent a snark remark back. ask him to support you financially, or at least make sure you're getting as much out of it as you're putting in. no way am i the cheating type but my ex sent me crazy, and when i met the am, i knoew he was ‘the one’ and we just got on so well (worked together), 6 months later we’re in an affair. i finally ended it with my married man and it is hard. on my last day (1 month ago) when we were together, we talked and he said he enjoyed our time together but we couldn’t see each other outside the office because of his work life and because it could lead to more feelings and he couldn’t allow it…although i never hoped for a relationship with him (i have a partner and a 2 yo son, he’s married and has a 4 yo daughter, we don’t really know each other) i was so sad and i spent the following week missing him…i sent him a few emails asking how he was,etc and sometimes he would reply or not…weeks later when i thought i was starting to get over him, as i didn’t hear from him for days, i’ve decided to send him an email to which he replied and proposed lunch (5/23), for my astonishment. she probably is an awesome person, who is unfortunately married to a dick who should be thankful for what he has, but has probably already headed out to find the next poor gal to enjoy the hours of 3:30-5pm with.’ve put off having children because i am so deeply involved with this other man and so afraid to lose him. please, bern, do yourself a favor and put an end to it and find out the truth once and for all … believe me, it doesn’t hurt any worse than what you’re feeling right now, but at least you have a fair chance at getting and feeling better. i love him so much but last dec 26 we had a major fight which i told him i will talk to his wife ( thou i will not do that, just want to get equal because of all the nasty things he told me) he was very angry and shouted every hurtful words he can throw to me like don’t you dare, you don’t know the implications of what you just told me, this will be the last time that you can bother me etc etc. i never in a million years would have picked this man out of any line up of men i would normally choose. my ex-mm would also get upset when i would refer to myself as his side chick. he says i don’t know when to stop texting and i expect to much from him but since he’s married he can’t give me what he would if he wasn’t. last month my married man’s wife found a text from me. i’m sure he craves the attention and knows he can get it from you. and the only thing i really ended up doing was helping my mm get what he wanted from his wife.. we have got to realise any man that can constantly do this to their partners for a year, 3 years, 5 years and so on are pretty screwed up and we are not immune to their sh*tty behavior…. i go out all the time to try to meet men but it’s hard to find the chemistry and all of the things i like in a man. he says to me i ask too many questions (when i ask what he is doing on weekends etc). you would be surprised how manipulative and persuading some men can be. somehow, these married men tend to know how to do that to us and yet, the price is so high., a few more things to add and hopefully you’ll consider … the loving words a mm tells you is a form of manipulation and brainwashing and this is why it’s so damn difficult to cut ties from him. love him dearly, we won’t live together for sometime as its not right yet, i’ve said he needs time out, i need to continue my life with him dating. i just need to let him go but what is killing me is letting go of wanting revenge, not the man. i have now went to the extent of getting his wife cellphone number…. i hope you break free from the married men you’re involved with, because those relationships don’t go anywhere. always thought i’d end up with my am, i mean, like many, we have spent almost 4 years (and 3 years too long! he told me he may not get a chance to talk to me later but he would try to get in touch with me when he could. it’s been 11 days since i heard from him and the last email from that time said “thank you for being with me and being a sexy beautiful woman…” hate feeling like at this age i am being used…even though i thought i could handle it. is my childhood friend and best friend…he was married for 22yrs…. i don’t know why i keep sleeping with a man who do not love me. maybe you can’t get rid of your hope and dream that he’ll leave his marriage for you.’m having to go back out with work a few times this summer and will be seeing our friends so almost certainly married man too. it was ridiculous what i was willing to settle for. i wish i could get him out of my life but it’s so hard…he said he will divorce his wife but he is still legally married to her till now…. and he didn’t even think that i deserve a decent breakup after bring together 9 years, he broke up by text with me two months ago. he was attached but not married then ( same person) and it was intense, an extremely comfortable connection but i broke it off after i learned they were expecting a baby. i’m trying to move out of the country, get a new job, know good friends. i only hope i can recover from this and forget him! he’s been with his wife for 23 years but married to her 16. my heart still aches when i heard his voice down the corridor. that married men may really be lonely, they may be decent people but the breakup is always messy and cruel and very damaging to us. i can take a wild guess and say that at least 95% of you on this site are empathic and you’ve been exploited and manipulated. for anyone new to this site and new to this experience get the f out while you still have your sanity. the man you are talking about seems very controlling and probably abusive.! and as h g tudors advice says its about getting fuel from us…he didn’t get it…now i’m being punished with the silent treatment and he wants a better more loving text from me! married man will go thru times sometimes a day or three without contact. too had a year long affair with a man here at work. married man was older (50’s) and i really think a lot of the older married men are having affairs and their wives know (not all and some to a a certain extent) but they turn their heads the other way, until it becomes more serious! tuesday was day 5 with no contact with the married man and i had unfollowed him on all social media that day. he was engaged at that time but not married yet, we both knew it’s not gonna work but the emotion between us was too strong we couldn’t hold back. then i got married to my on again off again bf while he was in korea and had never indicated he wanted more. i posted just enough to get out what i was feeling but heres my story: my grandparents live next door to married mans parents. i know i need to get out but why can’t he see that being with me is what he needs. he made it clear that we are both married and this is a distraction from current life. the pain is unbearable, and we will all be miserable without a chance to meet “the one” until we let the married man go. i almost want to get her back because in a way i feel she stole my man, the one i loved so much. lastly, something i realized in myself and many of the ladies on here is that we miss our married men even more because of what they have now. i left my married man very soon, because i knew what was going to happen, because i learned from you all. i believe, to the very core of me, he has destroyed many lives. am not going to lie about how painful the past couple of weeks have been since i left a “last text” telling the married man who i have allowed in my life on and off and on and off for far, far too many years i needed for us to stop and that i wanted “no contact”. my so called married man insisted that he was separated from his wife but still lives in the same house as his wife and child and says he only does it for his daughter. or maybe deep down you secretly enjoy the secrecy and lies, dishonesty and pain of having an affair with a married man. any one has the same feeling about their married men, or had, and can help somehow i will be happy to hear. i had given my entire heart, mind, body, soul and spirit to this man and after shedding gallons upon gallons of tears and feeling the most excruciating heartbreak in my life, at 52 years old, the time had come., im in a relationship with a married man for almost 6 years now a have a son with him and our son he is 3 years old , we are working at the same place so he decided to move in with me and now i really want to break up with him coz it doesn’t assist me anymore plz help me to out of this mess. somehow it still means i can’t delete him and still get those videos and lots of messages about his love for me… i am mostly completely ignoring them now but i still feel very hurt when he goes quiet at the weekend. get a real life whiles he is still around,start by living yourself! he eventually contacted me via text and then a quick phone call but he had to get back to work. have been seeing a married man for 6 years on and off. the suffering my heart went through at the hands of this man was brutal. mind tells me that he is not the right one for me, that this is not going anywhere anyway, that is he now looking for the next woman to be with, that he is no longer thinking of me (or maybe, yes, he still does) and if i am going to go on with this it will hurt me even more. nothing in life is worth ending your own, especially your married man. he got rid of me to keep his own family. met a married man at work and he came after me with so much charm and enthusiasm that i could not resist in the end. you can’t because you’ve made future plans with this man, he’s promised you so many wonderful things, he gives you a love like you’ve never known in your life … but, and this is the biggest and worst but ever … none of it is real. have been dating my married boss for 3 years until his wife came to my house and all hell broke loose, i’ve left my job because she promised to kick me out if she finds me in the office and so pity my so called boyfriend is a coward he can’t stand up and be a man. it helps me to get rid of all the heaviness inside me. but they are so many people around, he is just one out of so many you can meet, work, friendships, support. my readers are discussing how difficult, painful, and destructive it is to keep hanging on to an affair with a married man. have learned a lot about narcissists in the last 6 months and i now know i was definitely my mm’s target. i left my married man very soon, because i knew what was going to happen, because i learned from you all. but they are so many people around, he is just one out of so many you can meet, work, friendships, support. i get sick of it, tell him i need space and totally blow him off. the course of the past year i can count on one hand how many times we had sex. the previous night he told me how much he loved me, how i was the only one who could ever love him the way he wanted, needed and desired to be loved, and how much he couldn’t wait to live our life of love together “for all eternity”. i am broken and he is broken and our pieces were a fix together for awhile. how do you let go of a hot succesfull young married man you love and he shows he loves you im so torn i dumped him on 15. so i said hey either get back to who you were or i’m done. after 2 years together and you calling me that from day one, now you don’t think we should? one of your messages, you talked about getting revenge and hoping that one day he’ll want you the way you want him. i have told my story before: married man and wife went through many iui to get pregnant (over 15 trys) never thought it would happen…and it finally did. my ex husband and i decided to call it quits after 7 years of being together and 1 being married (he was my high school sweetheart). these are cowards , if they truly don’t or can’t leave their wives get a prostitute and quite ruining good decent emotional woman’s lives. i spoke to my married man after 10 days of no contact. it is passion overload, hard to take at times for how intense it is, and the feelings you get from this are seriously addictive and hard to walk away from. i saw him and had a huge crush on him but found out he was married so i forgot all about him. i’m going to reply to your and sharons posts above, but i’m so glad to get support here!, he started pulling back, saying doesn’t want to text so much any more, and has friended some very pretty younger woman on facebook. my first goals were just getting through a single day, but once i was able to do that (after the first 3-4 weeks), i was then able to set myself a weekly goal. we spend time together with our son as a family. he tells me that he doesn’t want us to disturb our families n yet be together! was already jaded about married men on site because i met a guy i went on a date on and the next day, he refused to give me his last name. i don’t even remember what name i used on the first post because things seemed to be getting better and i was back in my fairytale. hope it helps you move forward in love and peace, and find a man who is available and willing to unite his life with yours. then he got married and i was so upset but he still loved me a lot and tried to maintain the relationship and we loved each other even more. i took myself off the dating website to give myself a break, but did see my date after 2 weeks on saturday night and again we stayed up until the early hours and had a lovely time. the only way i could finally leave the married man this current time was to say to him, “look we have all this history together and i do have very deep feelings for you but i am no longer okay with our arrangement.’m just wanting some advise on how you handle working with your married man still… mine is my boss and we have been together for 15 months he is so very manipulative i’m not aloud to wear certain things not aloud to talk to other males he makes me feel if i do that kind of stuff i am the wrong kind of person and his love for me fades when he sees it so i try hard to do everything right…i am also married for 4 years with a young daughter i don’t know how i got myself into this situation but i know i have to stop it now as my mm has told me he and his wife are going to try for another baby and it devastates me a free everything he says to me how much he loves me and if he could he would marry me right now if he could but he will never leave because of his son, i have said we are stopping this when he sayers trying for another baby with his wife i will not put myself through that i have to draw the line somewhere or i will have no self respect, it hurts that when i gave him this ultimatum he either doesn’t try for another baby and keep me or loose me and try for another baby, he has chosen the latter and it kills me! we had this shared blog, and i wrote him so many times, i sent him offline messages. i married, was happy for 24 of 27 years, and then discovered my ex was cheating, and our marriage was over. it’s hard, very (ask me how i know…), but you will feel sooo much better after you get thru the nc suffering, some day you may even wonder how you were able to be attracted to that mm. see we affair partners make waves, we want changes, we make demands and have expectations. have deleted him from my life,Kelly, leave the married man now. and being the pathetic human being i am i called . and that’s what it boils down to, married men cannot relate to your emotions the way normal decent people can. a week went by and he texted me that he can’t live without me and that i’m truly the only woman that he loves. he’s become a bit distant since he found out about the pregnancy and not as affectionate but he’s a very intelligent man and i like having him around as a friend. i have been with my married man for 2 years as well and he says all the right things but his actions don’t match his words. am happy for u to find the strength to get out of the situation. at first i want to say i wish i had a chance to finish my relationship with my married man like you girls but it was him to dumped me for no reason and if you read my story you knew how much i loved him and tried to understand what’s in his mind but i can’t find out..and one night my married man caught me with the guy i met in my home. the next day i felt soo guilty and tried to stop it immediately as having an affair with a married man is a mistake and didn’t reply to him or even speak to him for a week, but he was very persuasive and convinced me to give this relationship a shot as there was nothing between him and his wife. i finally ended it for real, i had broke it off with him so many times but this time it’s real.'s trending nowmore trending stories »mum shares genius trick for removing a splinterphotographer captures women before, during, and after orgasm in glorious photo series someone on mumsnet suggested that saying you hate children is the same as being racist there's a stunning town in puglia that'll pay you to live therethere's a facebook group where ups drivers share pics of the very good dogs they meetmore trending stories »news videosmore videos »black man hugs white supremacist at richard spencer eventangry crowd jeers as paedophile is removed from homenazi gets punched in the face outside richard spencer talktheresa may hails progress with european councilmore videos ». so he claims that he can’t see my friend anymore and is moving in with this woman so his ex can’t use the affair attack (i did explain its rubbish and the courts would not be interested in the affair and who is seeing who). i kept asking a million questions to friends, so i could understand the man’s side of it. think the married man is so happy to feel again that you become his focus! when i am upset or need support and i am not all fun and laughs and romance, he treats me with silence. what’s so hard is we live in the same little town our kids go to school together so i know i’m going to see him from time to time from here on out unless they move. while we sit worrying about the future, fantasizing about the next time together or wondering if he will ever be with us for more than minutes – he is laughing, having fun and not thinking about us at all. that is as much as i want to forget everything and this pain to be gone, i’m also at the same time afraid that things to fade away. never would have picked up my married man from a line up. point, nen, get out now before he truly f**ks your entire life over because he will.’s been really helpful to read your experiences, they’ve given me strength to stick to my guns and cut ties with the man i’m in love with. in fact, she is dating a married guy who happens to be a friend of mine. dont think i will ever fall in love again with a single guy and definitely not with a mrried man anymore! yet i’m sitting here this morning fighting the urge to flirt and get his attention. i know each day i’ll get stronger and will be free from this feeling. my ex-mn had a 19 year old son at the time and he told me he needed to get his son through college before he could make a move. have tried everything ladies before -from phasing him out slowly while getting the fix (still hurt) – pleading for him to try to change, begging, guilt ridden messages (he hated those), even showing him proof i’m leaving my husband. i’m supposed to go on a vacation with my married man next weekend. i have told my story before: married man and wife went through many iui to get pregnant (over 15 trys) never thought it would happen…and it finally did. well, i have to own that i put myself here, but i too am involved with a married man. i am working on myself, but it’s hard to pull yourself up after the beating your dignity and self worth has taken being on a roller coaster for so many years.,244 thoughts on “how to break up with a married man and heal your heart”. month we went on an eight day vacation to the bahamas which included a cruise and a few days in florida. am single and have been seeing a married man for a year now! have been married for 6 years and having an affair for almost 5 with another married man from work. never in a million years would i have ever believed my ex-married man was a narcissist, but when you start to read of similarities between your married man and others, and then read about who and what narcissists are, it’s almost impossible to deny the truth. the last time married man and i were together was may 8th and he was pretty much voided me like the plaque. he used to tell me we are soul mates and if we do the right thing in this lifetime by keeping to our family duties then karma would find a way for us to be together again in our next life. it really hurts and it is so frustrating because i feel like he is living the best life although he tells me it's not because he feels he is constantly walking on egg shells in case he gets busted. would really like to let my married man know how unhappy i am with this situation. as for me, i pray i will get stronger a little bit at a time…. i have been left many times in tears and stay home bc i went back to school. i hope this helps another woman and i’m open for encouraging words from some of you. i am married as well, and realize that i have to deal with that and move on or work on it. of my age, i have talked to so many people (around same age) that do not have any intimacy in their marriages. real love doesn’t make you feel the worst pain ever, and it doesn’t change you for the worse like many of us have/did through our experiences. yes, we get back together but not all of me…if that makes any sense. good care of yourself, and run from your married man while it’s not too late! i can’t believe how much time and energy i wasted on this man. my first goals were just getting through a single day, but once i was able to do that (after the first 3-4 weeks), i was then able to set myself a weekly goal. i knew the ex-mn in my life 10 years prior to anything happening, but after learning all i have, i now know i was targeted from the moment he saw me. felt the same with my married man but i even met him when i was married! you get to attached please escape the attached persons grip….’re dating a married man because of something that’s missing and broken inside of you..I saw a video my married man shared on instagram, he was at concert.!As is the case with most of us, the married men will never say clearly he doesnt want to b with u anymore cos they want to keep us hanging! i couldn’t go on vacations, couldn’t go to any gatherings or birthday parties because, “i’d look like a single woman”. how did you get out of a relationship from someone at work that can im you or email you in the office aside from getting a new job? i miss my mm but i am somehow happier without him, getting some self respect back and learning to be with people who truly want to spend time with me and not only 9 to 11 type of time. be sure you check the boxes to notify you so you get his response. i tried to be accommodating to him and his busy schedule. but i’ll be honest, it’s getting old and i’m starting to think i’m going to dump both of them sooner rather than later… but again, if i tell both of them i’m seeing 2 men, i’m willing to bet they won’t accept it and won’t want to see me anymore, which would be fine with me. i’ve heard many a people say ‘they’re all the same, we all have the same stories. he said they have talked about divorcing before but they just haven't because  even though they aren't happy they aren't horrible and mainly stayed together for the kids sake, he realizes now since meeting me that he wants to be happy and be with me rather then just surviving.. but all in vain as i didnt get even an iota of it in return. i became involved with a close friend who was a married man after i divorced. should i tell him and move forward or do you just move forward without having a conversation with the married man? i don’t know how deeply involved you are with this man, but keep in mind that the more time you stay with him, the harder it will be to let go. i may not ever meet my available man because i am sexually and emotionally involved with someone elses man ? i know not the best thing to do but i felt like hey if both parties are up front then no one gets hurt. you want to know how to stop dating a married man, try telling yourself that he doesn’t love you the way he loves his wife — even if he tells you he doesn’t love his wife! i have been dating my married man for 6 months sleeping with him for 2 months and i am too experiencing the rollercoaster. did this with married man of 3 years and when i broke up with him i almost felt nothing ! he sends gifts, loves me to pieces, can’t wait until this is all behind us, can’t wait until we can be together and not have to hide, etc. been seeing a married man off and on for about a yr, his wife has ms and has told him to find someone because she is unable to dothings he enjoys. darleen was not even getting a meal out of it. i started about 18 years ago when i was involved with someone myself (not married – just living together) for 7 years. he gets to go out to dinner as a family. yes, he works loads, but, he find a few hours for football matches during the season and i’m sorry but nothing is stopping him see his friends maybe every other saturday evening for a few hours (he manages the local pub for a few hours many times a week, he claims his escape and so he talks to people as he doesn’t talk to his gf he has a child with and works with 10 hours a day (! i went to all the performances and he never hid me from anyone. he cared for me so much in the past n i felt i was e luckiest woman on earth. my ex-mm would also get upset when i would refer to myself as his side chick. just wished i understood how married men go from one side to the other in a matter of seconds? of course, i told him i dont think i can get comfortable with talking to you and youre married. i read somewhere that doing the same thing over and iover again and expecting different results is relationship insanity and we will keep getting the same message over and over from the universe until we learn from it what we need to. you deserve a man to be with you all the time and not just some secret get a way. get into a workout routine if you aren’t already active regularly. it’s amazing how they can be so manipulative to get their way. and as i buy my time away from him i know for a fact i can and i will get stronger and stronger and so then one day i will be able to “no” and mean it! he had messed around a few times but nothing more than a couple of dates so he was really upset with himself for allowing himself to get caught up with me long term. i won’t be taking revenge, as i dont wish to drop to his level, and as you said, its not worth it for a married man, there are plenty more single men in the sea, but im not going looking, as im going to have me time, lots of things i want to do, but always put off because of him, and thank you.. i cannot get him out of my head, my mind and i am back in college and trying to focus to get my degree so i can get a job again, i cannot concentrate as i constantly check my phone and texts etc, to see if he is online, then the texting starts but mainly at the weekend and i feel so happy to be talking to him then nothing.?I believe the ultimate lesson here is to love yourself more and more so that will not tolerate to be with an unavailable unfaithful man. i love a man i can’t have and can’t get over. i finally ended it with my married man and it is hard. a lot of it, and it’s up to you to manage how much i can handle at once. now, i saw him daily too and he stayed 1-2 nights a week for a rest from driving, so we spent a few work evenings together and never ever weekends. there it all started… i knew he was married with one child. a lot of it, and it’s up to you to manage how much i can handle at once. but i am taking it one day at a time and hope it gets easier then it is right now. you must have the power to decide to get over the addiction of him, because i don't think he will leave his wife for you. now i am wondering-does the fact that your married man was a narc make you all feel better, or worse?, i promise you, you’ll slowly start to find the answers you’re going to need to get through this extremely traumatic time. he’s my manager, i can’t really leave, i can’t ignore him. it’s been horrific, i don’t live near family or many friends, he has it all, promised me the world and delivered nothing. i can’t speak for all married men, but it seems to me that they enjoy having a woman that “needs them” emotionally and physically.’ve put off having children because i am so deeply involved with this other man and so afraid to lose him. oh, and i did keep the chains, just got rid of the pendants) and now, 7 months later i’m painting my bedroom walls from the blue he liked to the yellow i like. he’s everything you’ve ever wanted, you belong together…but he is another woman’s husband. i haven’t had news from my married man since a month.’re dating a married man because of something that’s missing and broken inside of you. maybe there is a chance that your married man isn’t a narcissist, but based on what we’ve all been through on here, i doubt it.” “what if my married man’s excuses are actually valid? he will eventually give in whether in text or in person, then you will get hooked further and end up with disappointments. we were talking friday morning after another failed attempt to stay apart. i truly believe that when he justifies his actions, turns things around on me, calls her out for potentially dating someone else, he believes in his mind that he is right in doing so..and i am sure all of us before we met them, we were happy human beings with life in front of us being enthusiastic about many things. when we start making demands, the affair becomes yet another struggle they cannot cope with because that is the type of men they are. have been seeing my married man for about a year now. i definitely think that not all married men are just using us but they start sinking under the weight of when fantasy turns to reality. my husband loves me very much which made me feel stable and being a normal woman . we were not together for 2 months and recently started seeing each other again..why would you want to see a man like that? you hate yourself for sleeping with another woman’s husband, and you also tell yourself that you can’t break up with this married man because you love him. it scares me to think that i was actually targeted by this narc. one month into he told me while we were laying in my bed that he was married but they have been separated for 14-16 years and gave a list of reasons that things didn’t work out. i am still hurt but when the time come you will be able to block him if you get the strength do it at the moment.. but i need to stay strong when others upset me or i have a problem and stop running to him…as i can only ever message, he can take hours to reply…and i need to find a way to ignore things upsetting me (like this friend,i hope i didn’t offend her but i read back and it was a nice but hard text trying to get her to see my point). how many times had he told me he was so very “cool” with her? i am sleeping with a married man but i think you will beat yourself up if you sleep with him and he doesnt break things off with his wife to be with you. he hasn't threatened to tell my fiancee anything but he doesn't want me to get married. i was dating a man for 5 months and only after breaking things off with him (something didn’t feel right) did i find out he was married. he always uses his daughter as an excuse and then gets agitated at me for complaining or fighting about it which then leads him to disappear for hours or days and then comes back pretending as if nothing happened. starting to get this anxiety that i would go look for him and waited 3 hours to come out from lunch. i know how every one of you feel when you are in love with someone who is in a relationship/married, and you don’t know how to escape it because the love you feel for them is just too strong. your logical mind tells you the right thing, you need to end it to save yourself, such relationships unfortunately damage woman’s self esteem, slowly killing the sense of self worth. sometimes i feel like i’m married to him, yet i’m not…. that i’m not enough i feel so stupid… he tells me the only reason he’s doing it is because he wants a sibling for his son his son will always come first because he will not loose him he’s not doing it for his wife but i’m not studip and i’ve said this to his face i don’t believe that bs reason, any way back to the advise i’m just trying to figure out how will i survived doing no contacts but having to see him at work everyday also people at work kind of know about us and i’m worried about them laughing at me typical stupid woman gets used, he gets to walk around being the big boss the one that gets what he wants and i’m the stupid laughable woman that put myself in this situation. mm still hasn’t bothered trying to get in touch, it’s been two months now since he last messaged me. had the best time, laughing, playing board games in the bar, he held my hand, i felt truly special, it didn’t matter we were out together. hopefully someone reading my story will get some comfort knowing that they are not alone and that these married men are very clever in how they operate. your marriage ended and now you are in a dead end relationship with your married man. he essentially sent me an email that said that he has tried to contact me but could not get through as my phone was blocked. we shared some many things in common and he opened to me about his past and i opened to him for the first time in my life. years but i already felt like i’ve known my married man for years. i hope you find the courage in you to block this man from your life and open yourself up to the potential of meeting someone who will be available to you, and will treat you like how you should be treated. it took me a whole year of intermittent silent treatment and back and forth until it just broke my mind and then thought i either get out or i will die. belief now is that the married man i fell in love with, and whom i believed fell in love with me, loves absolutely no one but himself.. i am amazed by the amount of women that are experiencing married men situations. i don’t speak to my married man and neither did he. i never would have thought or considered being with a married man. i dreamt of him and me being in 2 totally different worlds, it’s like the death – alive, the human being – ghost kind of world, but somehow we managed to talk to each other, and communicated to each other. we actually both go back and forth about wanting to be together, we were not having sex at this time. my heart racing when he calls or texts feeling euphoric when we are together. maybe he also get tired of me and it is ok for me. of course making it easy for him and he was still married! he got married to a beautiful woman and had 2 children. you ask, “how can a man live in a world of no love? am dating a married man, have been for 2 years next month. i was one of those who swore to never ever get involved with a married man, that it could never happen to me because i knew exactly what i wanted out of my life.

How to Break up With a Married Man: 7 Steps (with Pictures)

How to avoid dating a married man

we were together before he met his wife and we still “see” each other on a regular basis. he has left her since and always tells me that i am the first woman he has ever loved, desperately wants a child with me and a proper marriage (not a quick city hall signing due to pressure from his family) but i feel insecure and uncomfortable. my married man has a daughter from a previous marriage and she decided she wanted to live with her mom full time because she doesn’t like to be at mm home due to her not liking his wife. he said hmmm…ok, call me when you get home. i am currently getting a divorce and trying to sell my place. men are human lol, they can and probably do have feelings for us but remember: more than likely there was someone before you and will be after you. time flies and as a woman we don’t have so much waiting time for mm.. one wud not do this to his enemy also, out of humanity we even ask our enemy if they r keeping well. i am the one thing he isn't getting at home. i only hope i can recover from this and forget him! i went through a rocky divorce and he was ‘there’ as a friend, but i never crossed the line, neither did i let him do that, because he was married. i try to tell myself it was always the intimacy that kept us together. am at the moment is married to a muslim man who is married. things were so good and he was making me promises of a future together, never gave me a time which i understand, but promised with all his heart we would one day be together. i am very happy that i am doing the right thing because, i would never never be able to date or sleep with a married man no matter how much i want to - how much i missed spending time with him - i always see him as who he really is - a married, cheated, unavailable, "cute" guy. there is another woman who told me she’s been having an affair with him for a couple years. he humiliated her, demeaned her and ridiculed her for years before i became entangled in his fantasy life.’re madly in love and want to be together, but he says he can’t decide what to do because the wedding is being arranged by his sister, and he has a 13 year old son (with another woman) who is close to his fiancee. now i think, it’s so easy for him to seduce and manipulate me because he is my boss. whole situation has broken me and i am trying to get myself back again. it’s not just married men, it’s all men who don’t know how to behave decently and empathically and do the right thing , however uncomfortable it may feel to do it. you will put yourself through all sorts of painful experiences just to still feel connected to this man. affair with another woman's husband is painful, yet you can't let him go because you love him. and he had been married for a long time now n it lacked spice n spark. manipulating me to stay with him longer, and longer, and longer, for nearly 5 years. a man with child characteristics will never have what it takes to move mountains for anyone. my cousin had an affair with a guy who was much older and married for 20 years, 1 child, her teen twins…she fell pregnant and he still didn’t leave his wife…9 mths pregnant she sits outside his house in her car until he left for good…it worked. a man will use excuses and make promises that he will break. i’m sure he talks with his wife while he’s in the office when we’re not together between 8-5pm. i may actually see the married man tonight at a party with mutual friends and i have vowed to myself not to allow his presence to alter my mood and even entertain the idea of sleeping with him. they love the attention, that another woman out there wants them, craves them, needs them and they love that relationship, i will let her have me when i want to let her have me. slowly i am sure it will get better just its hard sometimes and hearing from other people and the encouragement is good so thank you!. anyone one can give you a big fat ring and be romantic and act like your best friend and take care of you…especially when you’re their fun beautiful non moaning bit on the side…we’re a dream to men…. what’s so hard is we live in the same little town our kids go to school together so i know i’m going to see him from time to time from here on out unless they move. want to forget him completely and erase him from my mind! i’ve read tons of articles about cheating married men and fact is they will always choose to stay in a comfortable situation, even if it’s not what they want, because it’s easier. if he starts sending you morning messages angelina, you still have got to let this man go. the visits starting getting further apart, the phone calls less. but i promise you, if you open yourself up to the possibility of learning who your married man actually is, you will begin to move forward. to see yourself as strong and him weak because he keeps coming back,get friends,book holidays ,live,just get a life apart from him and watch! forgave him since i had no evidence but what was strange is i never knew where he stays which shows that he stays with someone since then ive tried to break up with him like 5 times but i find myself letting him back in my life again when i breakup with him he tries to ask what the problem is his so caring all ive dreamt of but his someone else’s man. i know everyone has to do this in their own way and in their own time, but a few things i would like you to focus on when you’re ready, and even if it’s one thing at a time, start getting rid of everything truly meaningful that he gave you (letters, cd’s, clothes, pictures, texts, voice mails, emails, jewelry, etc. and a week ago, his best friend told me that he told the dumper that he should have married me. nobody knows he’s married they just know i have a “boo” i think i’ve falling in love with him and i don’t know what to do .’s been really helpful to read your experiences, they’ve given me strength to stick to my guns and cut ties with the man i’m in love with. i met my married man i was married too- that was 7 years ago. did this with married man of 3 years and when i broke up with him i almost felt nothing ! i don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach mort fertel. he gets jealous if i even talk to another man at work but he can flirt and talk to any women he wants to and i shouldn’t comment. informed me monday he’s leaving his wife, they have agreed their marriage has been over a few years and staying together for the sake of their daughter isn’t fair, she didn’t cry or ask if they could reconcile. i know it feels like it but you have so many people in your life that love you. its been 34 days since i ended a 2 year relationship with my married man. if he is married and has no intention of leaving his wife, then he may have been dating many women over the years. strong ladies, we are all in this together and we will get through this…let’s support one another., as i’ve said, it’s been 10 months since i’ve spoken to the married man, yet i stay on this site because it’s crucial for me to help those of you either in the fog still, or just coming out. am moving slowly into my brand new life without my married man of 20 years (on and off). everything you have written, we both know them, that the married man is not worth, that he’s not ours, that he’s not ever coming back, but we keep missing them. this man was the love of my life, whether i was truly his or not, but it no longer matters to me, what i was or wasn’t to him. made excuses for her married lover for years, and she believed him when he told her that he could not stand his wife and never touched her. so we have no contact for a few weeks, he neither phones me (never does, i phone him when he is ‘free’ so i’m not on his phone bill bet many can relate to that! so many of us pass years in this fog, getting more and more involved until it just tips us over the edge. today the married man msgd me saying he wants to meet but i gave him a cold shoulder n i dnt wana meet him. i know it’s probably too early for you to think of him as anything of the sort, but this book is extremely helpful in teaching you how to get the person you love out of your head and ultimately your heart.’s what one of my readers said about breaking up with the guy she was having an affair with:“i became involved with a married man after my divorce,” says kay on how to end your toxic love affair now – before it’s too late. aren’t proud of dating a married man, and you know it’s destroying your spirit and soul.’s impossible to have a healthy relationship with a married man. i never thought separating myself from a married man would be this hard. had to get on medication, stayed in the bed and my family just thought i was depressed which i was but they didn’t know the reason., it was incredibly hard for me too, to believe such negative thoughts about a man i had given every ounce of my heart and soul to. 17 years same man and we have a child together as well that nobody knows as i am married now too. but whatever you do, do not reach back out to the married man. they are stronger together as a couple, even the storm could not tear them apart, how sweet is that. have gone back and forth to this man for so many times because i can’t stand the pain of being away from him. i have moved behind the initial phases of recovery, in the sense that i am not in blinding grief, i am living my life, and i have lost the urge to call or message my married man. married man told me everytime we split up he was so depressed he didn’t want to go on, he started trying to find a way to make more money, so he could leave, but i can’t be a part of that. but in today's age there is no monogamy anymore, it's hey let's get married and if we divorce so be it, we can find someone else. i love this man and i know he loves me. if i only knew at the beginning that falling for this man was going to turn my world upside down! i’ve been with this married man for 10years… it’s a long time to be hiding. if you reach out to him, you will just get back onto the roller coaster, and believe me as one who had endured the roller coaster for years, it is not where you want to be. we slept together and then he left to go home for holidays. why does he get the attention while i don’t? do not underestimate emotions you could get for a free partner, i think they’ll be stronger as they’ll be, quite frankly, much nicer, caring and loyal people. i was not able to cut off all contacts with a married man, it was too painful for me, so i was doing it slowly, very slowly. i love him terribly but we just can’t be together right now. accidentally found site and the comments on how to end a relationship with a married man. i would tell anyone else to get out of this kind of relationship and yet, here i am. you so much…my relationship with my married man sends me on drinking binges almost every weekend…i need to stop before i damage some organs in my body…i just cant seem to figure him out…i cant tell if he’s happy or unhappy with his wife…but i feel he’s comfortable…. i’m sure most of us can relate to when we were not even close to being in a position to thinking about another man, let alone going out with one! he plays in a band as an outside hobby, and is commited to many paid performances. i feel very relieved actually when i found out the man i loved doesn’t worth my emotional investment. i told him was i never had a problem with him but i cant be a sidewoman. he has always said that he’s grateful for any time he gets with me. a few years ago, my very dear friend at work had an affair with her boss who is married. the book is mainly addressed to the most common participant in an affair -- the unmarried woman. i am now in the process of getting a license for work that will double my pay and let me be the extrovert that i am. after a 40 year, lifetime apart, we started flirting, remembering the past and inevitably got together at my house. i get to pay for the food, our room, his gas, and even end up giving him money. they have observed us and know what most ,not all woman are like when in love. i know you have put great faith in mr tudor, the narcissistic sociopath, to explain away all our married men. i don’t get jealous, i don’t play games. the website i gave you will tell you many times over and over again, what going back to him will do for you and for him. broke down and cried once today, but every time i go to do it again i have to keep reminding myself of how many lies i have told over the years. am a well educated woman as well, i don’t think you have to be smart to avoid a married man, i think we have to love ourselves more. stay strong, relax and meditate if you can, exercise, find a hobby and focus on yourself because even if you were with this man you need your own life., the workplace, as well as church and online dating are some of the most popular places narcissists like to target and entrap their victims. it is challenging to let go completely but i believe you get stronger as the weeks go on. i hate being like that bit dang… i have to say that reading popo message was very encouraging because i’m tired of hurting and feeling like this…i couldn’t even sleep friday night because i was so upset seeing him with his wife. love him but these break ups are killing i want to move on but we work together and i see him everyday. you so much…my relationship with my married man sends me on drinking binges almost every weekend…i need to stop before i damage some organs in my body…i just cant seem to figure him out…i cant tell if he’s happy or unhappy with his wife…but i feel he’s comfortable…. the moment you feel your married man is dicking you around, break up with them. wish i have your courageous and strength…you are a strong woman…. want to end this affair because you know it’s wrong to cheat with another woman’s husband. did a little digging and found out that guy was married. he said he told my friend about it when they were together. they have one son together and he is in his 20’s. i’m half dead, i even wished i had a brain trauma so i could forget every memory of him. i don’t even care about my feelings nearly as much as i care for those people getting hurt and lied to . have been seeing my married man for about 5 months, have been sleeping with him for 2 months and we have been intimate about 5 times. i’ve been a psychotic mess over my married man. i want a man that is only invested in me. we had our relationship going for round 12 months, 1 month together, the rest long distance. we have had many fights, many situations where we could have torn apart. he has married three other people, but never wanted to fully be with you? i have been looking for answers for one year now, and did not get him to even open his mouth, forget about actually saying something that may make sense out of nonsense.. yet in the last couple of weeks i have been reeled straight back in again with the nonsense talk of how much he loves me and doesn’t know how to get rid of these feelings for me so when i ask him straight out what i was to him? do i do it as he cabt seem to let me goo i know i will my owm man because at least im hard working though he helps out i laso make my own money. when i would say he and his wife did not look uncomfortable together, he used to tell me “all that glitters is not gold! you have to be truly sick of it all and desperate to get better….’s ‘happily married’ likes being married, doesn’t want to leave his wife and yet here we are. i believe a lot of people from a 1000 posts down below never came back to tell us how better it really gets. ive known of married man & had a huge crush on him when i was a kid. strength, this may or may not help you, but i thought if you wanted to go back to the beginning of when i first started posting on this site, you can see that i was in the exact same place as you are now and you can get through this in time. be aware though, all of our situations are different and sometimes the married man will come begging you back (hoovering) immediately or like in most cases, they give you the silent treatment for however long they feel like it.. the universe gave us many signs during our friendship, but we ignored them and carried on. yet it is those very same men who have lured their way into pur lives and who have played and manipulated us.!I made the mistake of talking to a married man. we loved the highs, but the lows (times without the married man), which was most of the time, destroyed us. i know he loves me, he’s cried so many times about the situation, but i believe if you really genuinely love someone you’ll do almost anything to be with them…marrying someone else is going to guarantee we’ll never be together. i read somewhere that it takes you half the time you were in a relationship to get over a relationship. i’m addicted and i can’t seem to get myself out long enough before i’m begging for more. this man did not have the guts to marry the girl he says he loved. i have not cut things off completely but have a genuine desire to and i think i am getting there. i really saw his true colors and i realized that i would not want to be married to someone like him. i had an affair for 6 years with this married man i met from work. do things you couldnt while you were seeing the married man. my married man couldn’t bear it if i so much as scratched myself or bumped my head but now i think he won’t even blink if i drop dead at his feet. i am so lucky in amazing friends who love me and are helping me get through this. i’m babysitting 3 little girls tonight, daughters of a friend, getting busy helps. if the married man is not going to leave his wife it is a truly hopeless situation and it is emotional quicksand…the more you are in it, the harder it is to get out of it. you need to go no contact now because this man will destroy your life and steal your soul. i am leaving mine so i know it is complicated but you need to make things straight, for yourself, your husband and the married man. i am a married woman having an affair with a married man.! i don’t need any man or any person to treat me like that.. this man whom i've been friends with for almost 7yrs. i hope i get out of it and stay strong. it was like being on drugs and getting easily swept up. it is scary how all our stories are the same…i have read so many posts here, and the foundations, evolution (of the story and us becoming ghosts of ourselves) and the end, when we end up being like we never existed, this is so cringing. though i have never expected, but we share the bed, we did not have intercourse as his dialogue was until and unless we get married we should not have that. had a chance to spend some time together in january and i found myself to be falling for him, badly. to go to the gas station, to go to lowe’s, to go get food but he never comes back with what he says he’s gonna get saying they don’t have what he’s looking for., it was incredibly hard for me too, to believe such negative thoughts about a man i had given every ounce of my heart and soul to. they just get trapped in a situation where reality sets in and they don’t know how to get out and actually be with us. my married man is also trying for a baby, so i can understand how that feels. she was so uncomfortable and hurt with the incident as she treats him as her good friend, and she hate dating mm. i was so sick of it all i just wanted to get away. he told me he still married but a few years ago he was having a lot problems with his wife almost walk away . we had broken up once before and i schemed to get him back. you feel like he’s the only man for you because he told you that you’re the only woman he truly loves. and like you, for someone who claims they don’t sleep together, eat together, no connection any more and except business and kids there is little comms…i now find it very hard to believe! too deserve a happy and fulfilling life, with someone that is there 24/7 and who doesn’t sleep next to another woman plus lies, manipulates and makes you feel sad…. it only turned sour in the last year with the breaking up and getting together again. i know we will both be sad… but our relationship isnt like it used to be anymore, this is down to the situation we are in and how all the lies and secrets and times apart and holidays apart etc etc just get on top of us…. it will only get worst and your feeling will get stronger and the harder it will become to end the affair, when you fully realized that he is only stringing you along and you do deserve better. affair with married man is nearly a year but slightly different he works in my town away from his wife and goes home to her to see his son he says every six weeks or so for weekend then comes back and lives with me he’s told her he lodges here he says he wants to leave her and he wants the marriage to dissolve in its own way but i’ve found messages on his phone telling her he loves her and misses her why say that if u are trying to distance urself from wife she suspects he’s seeing me but he says he’s neither denied or confirmed it but they havnt discussed it i checked her fb and she’s put photos of them both from this weekend all lovely fovey after he says they don’t talk or intimate at all i keep trying to walk away from him but he always wears me down he it’s like i’m the wife and she’s the baby mother cud he lives here with me i don’t know wat to do he says he loves me please help any advise. the married man in my life was never a warm and dependable friend that’s for sure. there are so many things this man gave to me that i absolutely want in a relationship and i know i deserve, but because of that, i also know now that i will never settle for less than being someone’s number one! i get holidays with him, just the day before or the day after.’s so ironic that for almost 24 years i was saving myself for the right person, and of all people, i had to relinquish it to a married man. hd wasn’t in the office yesterday but couldn’t get him off my mind. in love with a married man right now, but your advice on how to break up gives me power and makes me strong to say it’s over now. but, thinking of it further, could never be with him–distrust issues and would always be the other woman no matter what. mm still hasn’t bothered trying to get in touch, it’s been two months now since he last messaged me. can relate to your story on so many levels, it’s like all these married men give us the same lines and we still continue to be suckers for them. met a woman in a coffee shop this morning, and we started talking and lo and behold she also had broken off an affair with a married man, what are the chances? he wanted to leave her at this time i sat him down and said no way can you do that, she needs you to be the man she think you are and you need to be able to look in the mirror at the end of each day. remember they preyed upon us at one time and getting your email way back when was part of his plan. the silver lining is that i know once i get through this i’ll be free and empowered. but i got a call from a guy i was dating that i left alone. but i know i never had this feeling to any man in my life . i really liked him but i can't be with a married man. it’s not my business to manage his wife schedule. they have 3 children together and i never wanted to disrupt their family. i am finally waking up to the fact that for me having been in an affair with a married man has caused me deep emotional pain and damage/distress to my inner self and to psyche that i wonder if i will ever recover? asking yourself questions u will nevrr get answer just do as im doing start moving on slowly keep pulling away slowly if he acts right good if he doesn’t continue pulling away by caring less making yourself busy if his yours god will make it happen but if he aint yours though you tag along for years. 8 months ago i am so lost in my relationship with a married man at this point. have been seeing my married man for three years now. he sent me roses and chocolates for valentines but i didn’t see him nor could we do dinner or spend the night together. i used to go on this roundabout with my married man also, the jealousy and the hurt and the wife sticking to him all the time. i feel foolish to be in love with a man that i never had sex with, but our relationship was just so much more than that. my heart still aches when i heard his voice down the corridor. i hope every woman or man reading this can gain the strength to finally come to a point where you decide you deserve more. we are the ones that get the short end of the stick when it goes downhill. ugh, i hate that i am falling into this even though i told myself i can do it ‘just for fun’ and i won’t get hurt. if you don't want to get out of it, but you need to know what things will make it better or worse -- read this book. i was married for 12 years and have been divorced for 13., wish u get all the strength to deal with this! trying my hardest to get hint to understand my pain and what he is doing to my life. i’m close to his mates and his dad is aware of our affair and just told him no more babies but he is a man so didn’t cautian him or tell him he is wrong. yrs and knowing my am will be sleeping, as usual, next to his gf naked again tonight and has been since we met…slowly starting to get sick of it. married man is not free to love you the way you were created to be loved. i told him that he is a liar, cheater and manipulator.. remember he’ll treat you like doormat when he gets what he wants afterwards. i can pretty much say with certainty that i would never have ended up in an affair with this man if i had ever witnessed such a thing years ago. i feel bad knowing that i’m the other woman, but i just love him too much. it’ll take a lot longer, but i know i will get there as i have to get there. he confessed – told me he was supposed to meet another woman but that it was cancelled. over an affair with a married man won’t happen overnight. i’m writing because i’m also dating a married man for two years. if i acted bothered when they went out on family vacations or i’d see pictures of them in together and get upset, he’d always turn it around on me and i’d end up apologizing, promising never to complain again.” it is never ever resolved and the relationship never ever gets better! i do not want to be alone either so i have to continue to figure where my happiness lies and it should not be with a married man.. needless to say i have not heard back from him, but rest assured i will as there is a pattern developing here where i will begin to somehow get the good owl one liners and appologies again. i don’t understand how they can hop back and forth from one woman to the next. it seriously is not worth it and you’re absolutely right … if a man truly loves you and wants only you, nothing can stand in his way. of the people who will get suffer for indulging into this illegal relations. that is the best for the families and children getting involved .? still i did this to such a nice man like my husband.. you will manage i promise but you have to do one thing everyday to leave that nightmare. it does not matter what i'm reading about…so many traits and stories are him, and what he has done and said to me and his gf (we are both played) and now i reckon the poor ex wife…no wonder she's a little crackers, i feel sometimes i may join her! they don’t deserve any woman to want them like this. it’s all business and money (so he says), but for someone that cried 3 years ago saying he’s not sure how much more he could take of this evil horrible nasty spiteful gf of his…he is doing quite well considering they are together practically 24/7. we still have opportunities unlike our married men stuck with their wives. with holding on to things, i haven’t been able to delete photos of us – i’ve got as far as getting them off my phone onto a flash drive. i have gotten into trouble at work for my absenteeism since the official mark of the end of the relationship between my married man and i. , what a drama :I broke up with married man for about 10 days now. have tried to end it so many times with my married man, even during the time things were great. that you are letting go of a man who doesn’t belong to you. i just want to to be that strong woman i always wanted to be and me leaving him is part of going on that path. i found his wife’s fb page and looked at everything they did together as family these last two years. when we were still together, my mm and i blocked each other on most of communication means, because he didn’t want me to see his updates, i didn’t either because i know that would hurt me. i am a beautiful, vibrant woman who has so much to give to people who deserve it.. he continues to contact me once or twice a week with the usual text on how beautiful i am to him and how he misses me etc etc etc… i was getting stronger by the weeks and then wham. he is using no contact because he is really mad at me because i told him i will talk to your wife ( which obviously will not do that just to get even) he will not going to approach me until i will be the one to approach him.. we came closer, went on holidays n stayed together weneva my husband was out of town. i’m now on my first full day of zero contact with my married mam. you need to make the decisions to move on andknow you won’t get closure. i was going to end it when he told me he was married and gave me his sob story.’t get me wrong, i do feel the pain and the hurt and i sneak to find time to cry my eyes out but i need to step up and be strong., i am trying to feel as little about him as possible these days except for a welcome peace and an acceptance that i was in a very f–ed relationship for a very long time with a man who is incapable of love. i thought i could manage it because it’s much different than the other situation; but i know heartbreak is inevitable. depend on him for love and if you’re not married just trust in god and leave this man alone. he gets sad and asks if he can do anything. the other woman: the complete handbook for every woman in love with a married man. 9 months ago i am dating a married man as well. little did i know then he had proposed to this other woman. it is getting better but the process is so slow. i have been married for 20 years have 4 kids (ages 19 girl, 18 boy, 16 girl,15 girl). he will talk to me while he is in the bathroom if he has to and who knows how many ladies he have this relationship with.. thatways he can avoid all melodrama n my baggage n can get to enjoy the fruit aka only the good part. would go on trips together and have the most wonderful fun times together where we both said we are madly in love and can’t live without each other. know what true love is, and you also know that if the married man really loved you…he’d be with you every night. we deserve a man that that treasure us, not hiding us like dirty laundry. in some ways when your heart is in a mess with this married man it is too late. mathew's dating a married man: memoirs from the "other women".!The write up above i’ve mentioned is why…none is real, on our side yes, not their side (but not really real for us – we don’t know what these am/mm really are…we see the fake person…the manipulative liar…the twister). my husband is the one man who loved & loves me truly & unconditionaly! the main reason why i blocked my married man from my phone is because i knew that i was deserving of a relationship that was not secretive and based on lies., it definitely gets harder before it gets easier, please go easy on yourself and just take it a day at a time. really, i’ve never met a man who cares so much for his kids. they’d rather keep on manipulating and circumventing the situation that’s working for them. i was thinking like what in the hell does he mean tied up like with another man. but after reading so many posts, and seeing how eerily similar many of our experiences are, i can’t help but wonder if what you say is true. to hav this man in ur life u decided to settle for the crumbs! he didn’t want to talk everyday and didn’t want to get as close to me as we were but still cared for me the same. two months and i’m still pining for him why do i feel so down all the time why hasn’t he bothered trying to get in touch with me it’s killing me 🙁 he’s just moved on and forgotten about me and i’m just stuck here thinking of him. he always said he knew how unfair it was to ask this of me, but that he just needed time to get through his “process”, whatever the hell that meant.’s been over a month now that my married man ended it and i haven’t reached out. one of my friend once told me, if a man doesn’t get serious with you after 3 months max, he never will. i want to be “the woman”, not the other woman. i have never been treated as badly by any man before in my life. just a note, my mm has told me many times in the past that he and his wife had gone to counseling years before we got together, but they eventually stopped going after they both felt like it didn’t do either one of them any good. the only way to do it is just do it and take the pain but know that it gets better. it seemed as though he was never fully ready to pull the plug, even though he made steps to get to that point. no matter how sexy and magnetic he comes off and how many women fall for him.. anyone one can give you a big fat ring and be romantic and act like your best friend and take care of you…especially when you’re their fun beautiful non moaning bit on the side…we’re a dream to men…. originally purchased this book to help with my research about what goes on in a woman's mind when she is embroiled in an affair with a mm. and it seems easier for married men to move on. if i acted bothered when they went out on family vacations or i’d see pictures of them in together and get upset, he’d always turn it around on me and i’d end up apologizing, promising never to complain again. you need to see yourself like the strong woman you are, you have a nice job, people listen to you, try to see who you are for others. i have discovered on this website that we are so many some days we are better than others, but right now what is important is to not go back and get strenght back. i am dating single men that can actually take me out to dinner. looking back i would have never married him in the first place. but at least you still have a choice in this… what if the married man wakes up and says he doesn’t feel the same way anymore? and even if life may not be romance and roses, it doesn’t really give you an excuse to stray. would suggest, in your case, starting with the second book because it’s filled with the reasons why you can’t get him out of your thoughts and heart. although i havent gotten strong enough to leave, i honestly feel that this forum will help me get through this part of my life…. if we just stop trying to put a time frame on it and getting impatient and just be, it will gradually fade away. the next day i felt soo guilty and tried to stop it immediately as having an affair with a married man is a mistake and didn’t reply to him or even speak to him for a week, but he was very persuasive and convinced me to give this relationship a shot as there was nothing between him and his wife. i have cried too many nights away, the pain as he always take me as second place, calling only when he is free, shame as people will only know you as the other shameless woman. it is scary how all our stories are the same…i have read so many posts here, and the foundations, evolution (of the story and us becoming ghosts of ourselves) and the end, when we end up being like we never existed, this is so cringing. he said he would stop chatting with me and i agreed but we still talked about the game and sometimes normal things and i took a step back but something about him kept me wanting more, i told him i couldn't be the other woman or be a homewrecker and he said that how could i break something that was already broken. there is no other way to get out of relationships like these except for total and absolute no contact.. he been married 3 times and cheated on all three wife…how his present wife not see this is beyond me…. i, myself, was not able to cut off all contacts at once (i tried two times, but it was sooo very painful for me that i had to restart it), so that i then was diminishing communication with my married man slowly, getting slowly detached from his texts/emails (and those were several times a day before! am really do hoping that once i have my baby in my arms, i wouldnt think much about him anymore and i could get my life back on track. i decided not to be intimate with him but ultimately i was having an emotional affair regardless and then last week after nearly 2 years of knowing him as a close friend he decided to tell me that yes, he is in fact married but even though he loves his wife he’s not having any intimacy with her and he looks for it outside of his marriage for that reason. after a year…3 years…5 years, you should be moving on and up…not no change or still apart and things getting worse!! i am new here and involved with a married man, but hopefully not longer. i don’t know what it will take to get you there but one day you will. he told me how much he loved me and felt that we were meant to be together and how he was going to leave his wife. until one day, today, i stop crying though i’m still immensely in sadness, and i start getting used to the fact that i don’t have him anymore. i wil b the bad woman here & the husband-wife will work things out amongst themselves . over an affair with a married man won’t happen overnight. lois, if the married guy in your life is anything like the one in mine, he is checking in on you in person very deliberately in order to see whether he might still have what it takes to “stoke the coals” in your situation. sometimes i feel i’m actually in a trans when i get sucked back into his nonsense again but it is as you put it a merry go round that we are on. i hate that my married man is the only male i am seeing. somehow i remembered i got married, had children and told him he had the wrong house. totally amazing how a decent good man can change everything for that. it quickly became clear we were going to have an affair — texting all the time, sexual innuendos, going away together… i knew he was married – 30 years – and had a daughter. and when i said this time i mean one of many breakups we’ve had. it’s been over seven weeks now since i last spoke to my married man that’s almost two months! i was obesessed and almost crazy during the months that passed, chasing him, nagging and demanding answers and explanations from him, acting out. i find myself ignoring all the fun of the season to wait by the phone – only to get nothing. from “knowing the narcissist”:Is the silent treatment on emails a trick of narcissistic married man? i never fell in love so deep with a man like this before. at the same token later on i told my married man i was spending time at my son’s house beach for three weeks he mentioned he wants to spend time with me there. i almost lost my job behind this man because we work together, i thought i was pregnant at one point and now the latest story this man told me he’s sick and that his liver is bad and he’s having problems with his heart. i hope all of you women are able to get away and stay away and find someone who deserves women like you!, i can’t express enough how important it is to read up on the possibility of your married man being a narc. was nothing i’d ever go for ,not remotely resembling any one i’d ever be interested in but he treated me like a queen,something i’ve been longing for ,i used to always tell him how amazing he is and how happy i am ,we’d always miss each other constantly cuz we only see each other or speak when he’s at work, he never but on one occasion called me while he was at home whispering,i lay patiently every day hoping he goes to work just to hear his voice,i feel pathetic ,he recently told me he can’t give me what i want and that we can’t spend quality time together,just mornings ,evenings or nights ,only if he can come up with a good story,idk why i even got with him…. gets me is that like most people on here state their mm vowed to be with them and said they loved them but mine never. i am currently getting a divorce and trying to sell my place. the author: thank you for validating the love and the relationship even though it is taboo. you are not a masochist, you are a human being and a woman at that. story goes like this i live in europe and i met a man in my church , before we started our relationship i asked him are you married he said no.) i tried so many times to cut off with him, so many times i told him its over n we wud spend days without being in contact, but i realized that i m stuck in a swamp, the more i try to get out of it, the more i sink deep inside!, i can honestly say i thought we would be together. the married man may love you but his priorities are his children or family, so at least you have that magical feeling that he loves you and an excuse that you can't be together because of the kids, so what to do, follow what the author said hahaha, wish women can think clearly always and have time to think as much, some are just so weak when it comes to matters of the heart. i work with the married man and he is in “love” with his wife and will always be even though she has cheated on him twice and will always forgive her. then, as long as you are not in contact with him, you will begin to heal and get your life back. we went together on a trip for thanksgiving, and he introduced me at a christmas office party to co-workers as his girlfriend. it has been 4 months for me, and i just slowly get my life and self back, but some days and happy and others not, it is exactly that.. we have got to realise any man that can constantly do this to their partners for a year, 3 years, 5 years and so on are pretty screwed up and we are not immune to their sh*tty behavior…. sent me a picture of him in the car (the last text i sent him was very romantic but he did like he did not read it or something) i did not answer, he texted “have a great evening! caved and started having this affair with the married man two years ago. we have gone nc many times , last one lasted 3 months. he said it was the first time he (been married 23 years)cheated. everyone on this site can ignore the fact that their married men are narcissists, but it’s time for all of us to stop being in denial. too was involved with a married man for 5 months before discovering he was married. tell him you need a “time out” to think things over and in the meantime taht you need for him to get his sh-t completely together. you do not get over something like this you get through it. in some ways when your heart is in a mess with this married man it is too late. i am finally waking up to the fact that for me having been in an affair with a married man has caused me deep emotional pain and damage/distress to my inner self and to psyche that i wonder if i will ever recover? i try to tell myself it was always the intimacy that kept us together. so of course, he ended it with me even though he told me he was getting a divorce and wanted to marry me. no one knows about me, even though i saw his son many times on facetime. i was thinking like what in the hell does he mean tied up like with another man. i was all alone that night, i tried callin this man but he was with his wife that night so obviously didnt answer. we still have opportunities unlike our married men stuck with their wives. real love doesn’t make you feel the worst pain ever, and it doesn’t change you for the worse like many of us have/did through our experiences. but i don’t want to break up his family being the another woman. 4 weeks ago don't have anything to do with a married man. this hurts like hell and i feel like i can’t get off the couch but this too shall pass. right away, he texted my office manager to calm me down and text me again saying he will never stop working with me, i need to balance myself. anyhow, my married man will never leave his wife and he will always cheat: simple as that. dump that married man and live your life and find your own happiness with a guy for whom you will be a center of his universe. advice sometimes we have to learn big lessons in our life and it sounds like you have, good for you for recognising this, i am super used by the amount of men who prey and are looking for a fling probably says more about their own personal character, sometimes us woman are to blame because we so desperately want to hear the words from a living man we become blindfolded and let him in so easily, they really don’t have to try very hard? advice sometimes we have to learn big lessons in our life and it sounds like you have, good for you for recognising this, i am super used by the amount of men who prey and are looking for a fling probably says more about their own personal character, sometimes us woman are to blame because we so desperately want to hear the words from a living man we become blindfolded and let him in so easily, they really don’t have to try very hard? m nt happy with this kinda arrangement where he has me as a filler n his wife as a permanent solution! don’t think of what he might get and deserve.. he has too much ego n his ego gets satisfaction wenever i sent him any, any msg. he will continue cheating on her and he will do to the next woman as he has done with you. i have friends who had men string them alone during the best years – the years when you get married and have children. i have given to many years of my life as it is. came accross that website and your comments as i was trying to get away from a difficult situation. i did ask and he messaged, he said that he felt he had lost the only human that he respects the opinions of, the only adult contact that means something to him and those few weeks he felt like he’d lost a limb and i will never ever know where he was (think he meant in his head). then i met the married man by accident on my sidewalk. if i acted bothered when they went out on family vacations or i’d see pictures of them in together and get upset, he’d always turn it around on me and i’d end up apologizing, promising never to complain again. is married and i was also married i left the company 1996 and we never saw each other again but on and off i thought about him. because you think things are going to get better, but they only get worse, much worse. it took me 52 years to finally get it, but i promise you, the only reason i finally got it was by the grace of god leading me to “knowing the narcissist”.’m curious how long you have been in no contact and how you ended things permanently? lost my kitty and my dog in the same year, and like you, i realized this man could not be there for me in any capacity. michelle i just wanted to say that i am in your same position for over 2 years, yes i fell inlove with a married man like you he caught my heart and he always wanted me to stay and never give up and of course i never give up for him for almost 2 years and then the time passes i always hurt and get jealous with his wife i need his attention but he always with her wife he also told me that he is never happy in his marriage but he cannot leave his wife maybe that’s all the married man can’t do, so i decided to let go of him and i tell him that i give up on our relationship but he insisting his self to me he goes on my work place but i told him to stay away and don’t ever come back i don’t know what i feel but something your heart will put you on the right decision if your tired of all the things, yes i forgive him and i wish i will forget him soon just be strong to tell him that i deserve a man that will love me. should i just start thinking and doing things as getting over him or really just sit and wait on him to text? however , this impression that married men give you about how bad their marriage actually is, is blown up to sound worse than it probably is. if he cheated with you he will or may do it again with another woman. a few weeks after this happened, another married man (let’s call him fred) came to me (i don’t know what the hell it is that i do that attracts married men and i wish i did so i would stop doing it!’m with a married man for more than a year now and he has been marrie for a year and a half. draining is the word – i am totally exhausted for many reasons but underlying is the emotional stress that he put me though for 1.’m greatful that you ladies are sharing your stories, and experiences with these married men. you are in an abusive environment and need to get out immediately..I decided to make this comment because i’ve read so many posts about “the wife” being the problem (obstacle, barrier, etc. used to go to movies and lots of time together at least everyother week. this is just one blog hg tudor has from an archive of many and i just felt like it was a good place for you to start. he tried so many tactics to see me again, be my friend and i flipped out. i have discovered on this website that we are so many some days we are better than others, but right now what is important is to not go back and get strenght back. they stay married because they have built a life together and it would totally be a mess if they split up. for 2 years we had what cab only be described as a semi physical affair – foreplay in many places but no sex. he was attached but not married then ( same person) and it was intense, an extremely comfortable connection but i broke it off after i learned they were expecting a baby. u deserve,things you like to do,body you like to have, languages you like to learn and so many other habits that can help you. i may just be at the beginning of my journey, but i want to get through it. from the dating wreckage: how do i deal with a partner who’s sh*t in bed? what is really sad and shocking is to see how many married men are unfaithful to their wives! i’m at the airport now, going to a meeting in malaysia for a few days, and sitting next to me is an old french couple who looked really happy together and that got me to sob. i always made fun of women who dated a married men.! i am coming to see that no true narc (and i do believe he is a narcissist) will ever want to permanently leave a good little co-dependent girl like myself. they will become less frequent and eventually stop all together even though the hurt may still be there in your heart. i know you have put great faith in mr tudor, the narcissistic sociopath, to explain away all our married men.!Popo even worse, not only is my married man not at all my usual type, he is actually the closest thing to a combo of my mother and father’s combined personality types that i have ever experienced. i too feel worthless, guess i’m looking for love from a man who only loves me for sex. also get you regarding living with someone, this is why i wonder if i’ve been doing this for so long…but i also know i want a full time relationship with this man which would result in us living together, and i certainly don’t want past issues and problems with partners to stop me maybe experiencing a happy relationship. dont think i will ever fall in love again with a single guy and definitely not with a mrried man anymore!. even though like them all he says he's not happy he's still married. married man was older (50’s) and i really think a lot of the older married men are having affairs and their wives know (not all and some to a a certain extent) but they turn their heads the other way, until it becomes more serious! i have not had any more contact with mm but i took off friday. why choose an innocent woman when u already have a wife, n u don’t have the intention of leaving her? so we continued talking and dating (going out to public reataurants) until the first week of march. i am not sure that my married man is a narcissist, i get confused because so many of the traits do not match what he is. further told him if his not ready to settle down now he can forget me & i move on peacefully cant waste my youth full years on an decided man he told me his decided its me he wants. i had an affair for 6 years with this married man i met from work. i managed to ask for his number as he had mentioned previously a flat up for rent and i was looking at the time so used that as an excuse. so, in turn, his apologies were actually his way of manipulating me further. i know that this should be the end but i can not seem to stop thinking about him, his promise to never leave me, his promise to never go anywhere all of those times that he said he loved me so deeply that it would actually make him cry and this is not a man who takes his feelings lightly. i truly believe this man loves me deeply, which is also why it’s so hard to let go because i can’t let go of the hope i hold onto that he might still come back some day. the lies, deception and constant disappointment of having an affair with a married man was awful. i too have seen the fb posts from his wife and the comments about what a great guy he is and how wonderful they are together. left my married man of 20 years off and on on palm sunday this year. my so called married man insisted that he was separated from his wife but still lives in the same house as his wife and child and says he only does it for his daughter. we were not together for 2 months and recently started seeing each other again. you’ll feel better about yourself and your life after ending the affair, and you’ll see the married man differently. we get suckered back in because they keep saying they love us and miss us. are right, i do need to get some answers, but i will wait until i can see him in person, i don’t want to have that conversation by text. many self help books later, many smashed glasses in temper, many wet pillows later i finally couldn't care less and what a relief. we were their targets and they knew exactly what they wanted from us and could careless what our needs were or are. have a broken my heart, we have cried together in each other’s arms for 4 hours. if you did , you r either never been in love or u still not getting over with each other” . i felt in my gut that he was never separated but living as man and wife. why should anyone have to do so much work to keep a married man? see that you are texting/e-mailing your married man yourself, and he either responds or not. see the pain that loving another woman’s husband causes. i did one week nc recently which really helped me to get rid of the clingy and neediness. we ended up getting off the phone because i met up with my girlfriends to have a drink.’s been one month since the married man ended it with me and i haven’t contacted him since, neither has he..I blocked my married lover, but of course he came to my house, i was so angry, how dare he compromise me, invade my life?!But i didn’t get any news or anything from him, even he didn’t say he can’t or he’s busy ! i had a talk with my bf who is married with kids that i decided to do the right thing and breaking him up. and believe me there have many break up attempts in the past. and therefore, a vulnerable woman is the perfect thing for them. he’s a facade: you know enough about him to give you some insight into his personality and life, but you’re not involved with the real man. single one of us, whether you choose to believe it or not, had major emotional mind games played on us (some still being played), and manipulations that go well beyond normal. however, i wouldn’t want to ever forget the love we shared. but all this being said, he used to constantly tell me he loves me, and wish we were together, and ofcourse he was very happy that i was so emotionally available to him.’t get me wrong, i do feel the pain and the hurt and i sneak to find time to cry my eyes out but i need to step up and be strong. he has not matured into a man even though he’s 38 and most likely, never will. came across this website while seeking help how to break free of a mess i found myslef in… im 27, and i have started to fall for a married man who works in the same company. i have been busy more and more but could not do no contact well today was ulta sound day and all is fine (he was worried it would not take) i have decided i need to be strong i deserve more them last min get togethers. i am so thankful i came across this page on how to break up with a married man, i relate to every single one of you and you have given me so much, saved me. we went on vacation together, several weekend trips, trips with both his brother and sister. i truly feel like i’m in a much better place now, a place where if the mn does come back, he won’t be getting an ounce of my time, emotions, energy or fuel. recently i met a lovely leo woman at an online dating platform. and even if life may not be romance and roses, it doesn’t really give you an excuse to stray. but i know if i hadn’t have texted him friday i would yet to hear from him. i went through a rocky divorce and he was ‘there’ as a friend, but i never crossed the line, neither did i let him do that, because he was married. i guess it depends on the situation youre in with your married man. the thing is, this man, he was engaged when we met. he’s capable of manipulating me in the best possible way and every single time i fall for his manipulation. 2 months ago im seeing a man who told me from the beginning that he was married and he was getting a divorce but he dont have kids but he still lives with his wife. the potential in reflecting on your own marriage and deciding if you can love that man again. 3yrs after we met he married his girlfriend in an impromptu vegas ceremony. however it does not seem so easy for them to keep a woman feeling loved, desired and happy.. i am married, no kids, have an extremely loving husband but still i fell for this married man at work whos quite elder to me. my married man even came to a wedding with his partner in my city, and low and behold, the wedding was held at my athletic club a km from my house! started dating seriously in 2016 mar he was the best man to ever happen to me he was 32yrs when we met . is married with adult children, and i am married with children myself.. any suggestion from anyone who goes thru the same problems with married men & how to avoid it? and being the pathetic human being i am i called . there are no exceptions, i would definitely end up being hurt – so it was better to dump him immediately rather than wait months, maybe years (as many of you) and get deeply involved with him.. the one post that hit home very hard and made me gulp and feel tearful was 'in love with a married man' – it's amazing how one page essay compiled of simple, clear and concise paragraphs say so much. i’ve tried to break it off with my married man. lives on my street which makes it harder but i need to figure out why i would get my self involved like this when i know what it feels like. i know that he’s married i know that he’s comfortable and i know that he would never leave his kids but i also know that i was not the first affair he’s had on his wife but why stay and be unhappy and lie for the rest of your life instead of telling the truth and being happy and if he’s really chosen to make this decision to stay with his wife or his wife to stay with him how do i get over this hurts how do i begin to heal after 10 years of loving the same man? think the married man is so happy to feel again that you become his focus! you and i have more or less the same age, we have so many years to be happy. yes he is the most incredible man i have ever met, but, he also isn’t the most honest either so that kind of cancels the good bit out! yes, he works loads, but, he find a few hours for football matches during the season and i’m sorry but nothing is stopping him see his friends maybe every other saturday evening for a few hours (he manages the local pub for a few hours many times a week, he claims his escape and so he talks to people as he doesn’t talk to his gf he has a child with and works with 10 hours a day (! been in an affair with a married man for 2 and half years. sue, i can sense you’re an intelligent woman, please read the blog, starting with his first article beginning august of 2015. he’s still fucking baby mama 2 for years during all that…there are many more before i show up. i know it gets better as i’ve been through it and thought i would die without him in the past. money problems are the worse on top of things, i hope you can soon find a new job, even if not the best just to make sure to get money coming in and a routine every day. i don’t know how long you were in this relationship or how long your bit of progress has been but don’t get down on yourself. you’re never going to get what you want from him because he has absolutely nothing to give. i am pretty sure you do not love that married man, it’s because you have a void deep inside of you for romance/intimacy and this married man just filling this void at this point, therefore, the connection with is like an addiction. at first i want to say i wish i had a chance to finish my relationship with my married man like you girls but it was him to dumped me for no reason and if you read my story you knew how much i loved him and tried to understand what’s in his mind but i can’t find out. i have blocked my ex married man on my phone the past two weeks and have been feeling better! remember, it's not cheating on your part because he is married. i have always felt that he had a big ego, and i don’t want to get into the complexities about him that i fell in love with. am not going to lie about how painful the past couple of weeks have been since i left a “last text” telling the married man who i have allowed in my life on and off and on and off for far, far too many years i needed for us to stop and that i wanted “no contact”. for me, i’m going to error on the side of caution that my ex-mm is a narcissist because he targeted me, preyed upon me (all without my knowledge for years) and pounced on me with the love he knew i wanted, needed and desired to have in my life. reason i’m telling you this, and if you read the posts on here is so you get out as soon as possible. he responded and said more than any other woman ever before and he loves me more than his wife.. neither can we be husband & wife nor a committed future together so what are we? he knows it and you would think a decent human being would not want to hurt you that way. these married men are totally selfish and i believe they are unhappy with themselves deep down and that is why they do the things that they do.. so after his wife and kids keep treating me i decided to break it off with this married man but he cried and begged me not to leave him this continued until the last couple of weeks ago when his wife showed up to my job and then they came to my house…it hurts so bad but the sad thing is that i really miss him but at the same time i can’t stand him. i yearn for a real relationship with an available man. after trying over and over to help him, get his citizenship to help him figure out work and money to give us a future, he couldn’t change anything. four years of seeing my married man we stopped talking in the first week of july.. leave without notice i suggest(up to u to take or not) and do not get tempted when he’s at your feet to get you back. choose you above all else, and it will change everything- your relationships with your self, kids, your married man will feel it, your family, friends , your colleagues, everyone..and i am sure all of us before we met them, we were happy human beings with life in front of us being enthusiastic about many things. i still ache for him but it’s getting better. the time together was perfect (majority of the time) and as you described yours. i was newly separated from my husband (about 6 months into my separation) and i had been dating single men and it had been hard going. having other people in similar situations who can relate to you is definitely comforting and it gives me courage to let go of this man. i just want you to be open to the possibility that this man is not the man you thought he was and that’s the reason why he doesn’t care. he is so so much willing to get involved with my baby girl and me. one day i agreed to go out with him for drinks in the evening as i had finally gotten divorced and that eve after tooo many cocktails we ended up kissing and then having sex. i mean y wud he do so if he doesnt love her n if hes getting everything from me? yet i’m sitting here this morning fighting the urge to flirt and get his attention. out of 5 starsvery disorganized & confusingbyjmvon july 28, 2013format: paperback|verified purchasei bought this book because i was seeing a young married man in the middle of a divorce so i thought i could possibly relate to some of the stories in the book. so many days nc n the married man is happy in his life, he didn’t call me even once in 6 days n he says he loves me? that said, i’m going to post this link:And hopefully it will bring insight to many of you looking for help and/or wondering why. nobody should talk to woman just to put her down. well after 3 plus years of having this man be apart of my life, i decided enough is enough and walked away.. i dnt see any, any reason why i m with this married man! i am an intelligent, clever woman struggling with the fact that i have allowed myself to get in this situation. give yourself time to heal away from him is my only free advice to you based on my sad and lonely and infuriating years of experience with a married man. i almost lost my job behind this man because we work together, i thought i was pregnant at one point and now the latest story this man told me he’s sick and that his liver is bad and he’s having problems with his heart. one of my friend once told me, if a man doesn’t get serious with you after 3 months max, he never will. you need to talk it out, and to talk it out many many times. i hope sumday down the line he will regret losing me & wud want me back in his life, n i will get my revenge! nothing in life is worth ending your own, especially your married man. married man i see lives in another town he is very rich and powerful. only 9 out of 10 married men leave their wives at best. we went on vacation together, several weekend trips, trips with both his brother and sister. married man will go thru times sometimes a day or three without contact. unless they come home to us every night and we are the only woman in their life, we are not their priority. i know it sounds mean but this man has taken me through the wash-rinse-spin cycle one too many times. i never, ever thought i would end up with him because he was married, but i knew if i had such strong feelings for him, i could not be with my boyfriend any longer. you should reply to jessica on this post, she is contemplating having an abortion for a mm, at least she should see that its not easy and how a man just moves on..It took me 6 years to realize i evolved my life around a married man who did and still does love but couldn’t give me a healthy relationship. he wants to be with you, nothing and no one on this planet will stop him from moving out of that woman’s place. you deserve a man to mess up your lipstick not mascara. i don’t know how many times my married man says but what if i leave and it doesn’t work out …. the thing that has me really hurt right now is i saw the married man this week and the next day my son had surgery. u just walk away from someone you call your soulmate and just go on living with another woman for the rest of your life…. i was consider the good guy that everyone looks up to, a man of integrity and she was consider the good girl. i found out last saturday that my guy of 6 months was married. about a 16 year long affair with possibly a child with him, he wasn’t married when it started, he is military, he honestly is the only man i’ve ever allowed my heart to love. plus those married men of course do everything to hook us, they go out of the way to get you in their net, so you are dealing with the best version of him, quite a fantasy, but not with the actual person. i’ve been having a affair with a married man for 7 years! that letting go of an affair with another woman’s husband is painful, but you can put it behind you. it’ll take a lot longer, but i know i will get there as i have to get there. so i tried dating websites and had a few hook ups while still seeing him but nothing i did worked, no one compared and i’ve continued seeing him. that you’re not in love with the real man. you find strength and courage to stop dating this married man. may you find your way through the darkness, especially before you get to the nine year mark.

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How to survive dating a married man

you get your high and then crash like you didn’t know you could feel such abandonment, sadness and shame. it will take months, maybe years but every day that you wait for someone to give you crumbs, you’re wasting one day that you’ll never get back. each day i’ll set little goals for myself with the first being do not contact and focus on what i need to get done.. he has too much ego n his ego gets satisfaction wenever i sent him any, any msg. i hope to get a response so i can get through this. i know it’s probably too early for you to think of him as anything of the sort, but this book is extremely helpful in teaching you how to get the person you love out of your head and ultimately your heart. he even planned a trip for us and told me he would leave his family so we can be together. i know my married man is ultimately a coward and he’s worried about losing his money but i can’t seem to end it. i have been in 3 serious relationships 2 of them were with habitual cheaters and liars and one of them left me for another woman and as much as i’d like to think im strong, confident and have the highest self esteem the truth is those relationships broke me down and made me feel like cheating is what happens to people so why should i care. getting hurt and giving love to someone who makes us miserable is not being kind and is definitely pain inflicting. always pray to god so this man leaves whe he doesn’t contact for a day i kneel day and ask god please let him not contact me again before i know it i see his call and he explains why he dnt contact me. one day he couldn’t get enough of me and after he’s had me, he pulls away. but last i heard from him was friday morning when he was home sick. for the first time in almost 3 years, i was having a normal friday evening, not one where i’m at home and the am is with his family…i had someone elses attention, and fully, no texts from the gf or worrying his dad will phone…. your man became distant as soon as he slept with you, it’s horrendous behavior but i guess it’s common enough. i need to break up with my married man but cant bring myself to do it. i promise you that it gets better with time, professional help (i saw a counsellor for almost a year), surrounding yourself with friends and family, and doing things for you..no way…im wife and mother material…i allowed myself to get caught up with some lame dude just because i was deseperate for attention…never again…. changed my job and he said it won’t change anything between us but no more communication, nothing i could meet him maybe every two months for an hour,He made an excuse that he’s busy all the time and i was the one always understanding, till almost one month ago we had a plan to meet each other but he said he has something to do and try to manage time to be with me also, anyway it didn’t happened again and i was upset this time when he asked i said i canceled my medical appointment because i wanted to be with you and then he stopped talking to me! i learned through my situation that the married man can learn to make his way back in even when you think it’s done forever, so it’s something to prepare for in order to not fail. isn’t it astounding how this scenario has so many common features, behaviours, and patterns throughout most if not all of the mm relationships ? is utter rubbish and now i realise, a free man can be loved from head to toe inside out 24/7 so much more than the attached men! so both these married men want 2 women in their lives. and the last girl he dated, he slept with her just a few days before he got married.. i dont blame u for havin an affair so coz any woman whos at ur stage, dealing with a crumbling marriage and a cheating husband can fall prey to exploitative men like u did! am also married my marriage has been unhappy for the last two years and i know that’s not an excuse.!Popo even worse, not only is my married man not at all my usual type, he is actually the closest thing to a combo of my mother and father’s combined personality types that i have ever experienced. i have been reading so many books to help get me through, along with talking to a counselor, my mother and a couple of really close (nonjudgmental) friends. recently after a 2 year relationship broke off a relationship with a married man. whatever this married man says, it’s at best an illusion and at worse, blatant lies. we are living in the same life, the same time, the same city, we are in love but we will never be together..It has been the best article so far i read about how to break up with a married man. although i have regretted so many things in my life , getting involved with a martied man has been far the ultimate biggest regret of my life. we never got intimate in our time together, lack of oppportunuty and also lack of effort from his side., even though this is a blog, your responses are so genuine and so human. i’m just so consumed by him and i’m so tired of being ok with us not being together and then back at it again..was a nasty a**hole who makes every excuse under the sun to have an affair that also manipulates us too. my friends would never dream of being with a married man or letting themselves get into my situation so it makes talking to them very difficult. there are no better times with this man coming your way. i have known for some time that the man i was seeing just needed some passion, despite everything else he said to me about wanting me forever. i often thought it was cute, like a romantic quest. just confused, i dont know if he needs time to think or if its another woman. when he told me that, i realized how devastating that would be if i had bumped into them, i don’t know if he really understood that initially, as he knows many people and many friends in his business,so he was covered. also, texted a woman from an online game site a few years back. don’t beat yourself up on that, if married men didn’t withdraw the way they do, we wouldn’t need to be so over the top in our pursuit of them. i promise you that it gets better with time, professional help (i saw a counsellor for almost a year), surrounding yourself with friends and family, and doing things for you. “what would you be, without the thought that (married man) is happy without you while you are suffering? i’ve left married man many times but the longest was 4 days. on the 2 days he stayed, we’d shop together for food, cook together, chat, put the bins out, clean a bit, watch a movie…clear up etc. you said you don’t miss your married man and it’s not regret, but if isn’t that, then what is it? i had a phone through him and his wife’s contract but he broke it, went to get it fixed, and i still havent received it 2 months later. and of course i’ve given him another chance … even though i hate that phrase i’ll do my best because it’s like a get out of jail free card if he doesn’t do something i know he will say but i did my best… the hardest part of this is i know i need to walk away before i lose everything ,my husband, hurt my kids for someone who doesn’t really give a dam. i can’t believe how much time and energy i wasted on this man. i told him that i am sorry and that i apologise to him and i apologise to god for having any contact with him knowing full well he is married and that i am not ending all contact for us both to get on with our lives. i have been dealing with the married man for 5 months only! i know it gets better as i’ve been through it and thought i would die without him in the past. see i’m in a loveless sexless marriage and the man i’m in love with is newly married as well. i have just ended a 6 month relationship with a married man and i am sick and devastated. i have been to therapy and am a very self reflective woman who believes we are all continually evolving. we’ve been through what you have, and are living examples of a woman’s innate ability to rise above difficult circumstances. today the married man msgd me saying he wants to meet but i gave him a cold shoulder n i dnt wana meet him. after our closeness he started to back off, hot and cold and this is when i started to get depressed and i started to make demands from him. wish i have your courageous and strength…you are a strong woman…. it’s not romantic, sexy, or charming to help a married man cheat on his wife. love him but these break ups are killing i want to move on but we work together and i see him everyday. get some help, talk to a professional, read some books about forgiving yourself. even then i was trying to be detached, knowing that this would be just sex, and he was the one that started saying i love you, that turned into i adore you, and he was the one talking about our future together. 21 years ago i started a new job and was introduced to a married man who was to become an important part of my life.. leave without notice i suggest(up to u to take or not) and do not get tempted when he’s at your feet to get you back. by me posting this i am just trying to get an idea that my mind is going in the right place by ending it. i came out a difficult marriage and my married man has been unhappy a very long time in his. many women who have very loving and fun relationships as you have find that when the guy leaves his wife, things change, and all the good they were enjoying is gone. look, he’s playing a very masterful game with you and i would much rather know i did what i could to help you get the upper hand on what he’s going to ultimately do to you if you don’t act now. if this man wanted to reach you, there would be absolutely nothing that would stop him, period. the only way you can begin self-care is by removing the married man from your life. but that thought makes me sad because we can’t be together although we love each other. i admire me made wise decision and take charge of your own life and let this man go. i’m so tired and i feel like i just want let his wife know and for him to get what he deserves. you ask, “how can a man live in a world of no love? i’m copying your message to keep reading and get this through my head. always thought i’d end up with my am, i mean, like many, we have spent almost 4 years (and 3 years too long! i never knew how draining it was trying with all my being to love an emotioanally unavailable man. later, he texted my manager again to check on me and told her he can’t show his emotions otherwise i get crazy again. things with my married man and i were simply just physical. he and his wife got tattoos within days of each other and when i mentioned i was thinking about getting one, he blew up. but for this man, there is never enough love, never enough attention, never enough adulation, never enough sex. he will create a lot of excuses just to get me out of his life. you like the sweet of honey but you can get cut by the knife. that was my cue to get out without any excuses. we always talked about having kids when we lived together for a year. stay strong and reach out to get some help and support! there is a way to get through this, and once you kick this, the sense of self worth and relief is mind blowing. he said…im not too good but i am managing. i never thought i would see a married man but i fell for him and i wasn’t even looking for anyone at the time it was a complete surprise and i couldn’t resist him. u imagine this from a man who is cheating at the moment? same date from friday popped in sunday, in the evening on the way back from his cousins. for me, i’m going to error on the side of caution that my ex-mm is a narcissist because he targeted me, preyed upon me (all without my knowledge for years) and pounced on me with the love he knew i wanted, needed and desired to have in my life. i know i need to get out but why can’t he see that being with me is what he needs. do not underestimate emotions you could get for a free partner, i think they’ll be stronger as they’ll be, quite frankly, much nicer, caring and loyal people. it’s not specifically about breaking up with a married man or getting over an affair with another woman’s husband, but it will help you move forward in your life. so far its working because never ever with 6 yrs of being together did he tell me that. (and men in our position going through the same thing – applies to both, i’m certainly no man hater, funny enough i’ve very close male friends who i totally respect and are like brothers to me and i mostly work with men who are wonderful, it’s a handful of men and women that ruin things) so…. it’s a slow healing process, but will get better. you will get there, the other side of this pain is a beautiful fulfilling life awaiting you. then, when that relationship ended unexpectedly, i got a job working with my married man, and my vulnerability let it start all over again. i know you sincerely believe he’s the love of your life, but if you’re truly ready to end the rollercoaster ride you’re on start with reading the overwhelming, but intriguing and alarming (creepy) things the admitted narcissist has to tell those of us who are super empaths, empaths and co-dependents. other problem his denied ever staying with any one i found out from outside sources they had ever gone to court twice with the mum of kids but the court usually gives the custody to th mum of the twins so since this guy cant let his kids be taken they end up getting back together the twins r 6 n they have a 1yr . if he is content to have sex with you and makes no move to make a permanent life with you, then you must understand that he does not see you as being very important. honors her everytime and do whatever she expects from him to get closer to her but it never lasted long and the cycle continues. missing someone while you can’t do anything about it, especially when that someone has left you to choose another woman – his wife. i was in this awful situation for a year, but spent more years turning other men down and even leaving my fiance for the married man i got involved with. we would use precious time at work for a couple hours to be together or last minute rendezvous. now my merried man texted me back asking what’s going on why i think his wife texted me. he never hid the fact that i was his first love and the woman who broke his heart. i walked on water, and basked in sunlight for so many years. some day’s i feel so disgusted that i allowed myself to get into this situation. i see this man as my soul mate and love of my life, but i’m laying here alone in bed crying and writing this. i know it helps to have someone to talk to who gets it. i haven’t talked to mine since friday which he got upset at me cause i texted him but was with his wife and he just ignored me and later ok i said what is your problem? the pain is unbearable, and we will all be miserable without a chance to meet “the one” until we let the married man go. please protect your hearts ladies…married men are quick to steal our hearts and leave us in ruins! say some very truthful things here, we have all been there, sacrificing our pride for love…because we love them so much. how do i leave the man that i am so in love with. it is the beginning of the process i need in order to get away. but i am crying everyday, and many days i wish i would just sleep forever and not have to deal with anything of that. our 3 years together is exciting and electrifying but lately we have lots of fights he is blaming me that even the smallest things is already a big issue to me. i want a man that is only invested in me. in fact, i dont wish to live with my mm or another man if i dont have to. forgetting that if a marriage is build strongly no one will be able to break in it. i’ve tried so many times to break up with him but somehow we end up back together. i’m babysitting 3 little girls tonight, daughters of a friend, getting busy helps. we have been through break up and make up many times like this. we haven’t been together in person and alone since christmas however. i don’t know why i keep sleeping with a man who do not love me. to know he got in his own bed, without another woman naked too next to him that night just highlighted all that was wrong seeing someone attached. i feel especially heartfelt for those of you who had a married man who treated you like a princess because it makes it harder to move on versus someone who is a complete jerk. month we went on an eight day vacation to the bahamas which included a cruise and a few days in florida. i sometimes try and make mike mad to see if he gets angry with me. i always judged women who had affairs with married men, and i know people who have never been in this situation who would say i deserve what i’m getting. welcome your thoughts on how to break up with a married man. i read somewhere that it takes you half the time you were in a relationship to get over a relationship. love him dearly, we won’t live together for sometime as its not right yet, i’ve said he needs time out, i need to continue my life with him dating. married man was a very decent person, he was so good to me for eight years that words would fail me if i tried to describe it. after all, it’s not all about dating and affairs, is it? i especially loved this part:this is not the loss you think it is- she gets a serial lying, cheating husband and you get to walk away, start new. the ultimate slap on the married man’s face wud b wen i leave his city without even meeting him once! there is no way youre getting away from your family twice today. i do not understand how he ended up like this and feel so lost and yet, i know i have to walk away from this man, who remove the circumstances is truly my soulmate. the married man in my life knows that “no” rarely means “no with me (at least from my past behavior with him) . he sounds like the very same married man i was in an affair with too. i told him he’s married, we live in the same building and i kind know his wife. or maybe deep down you secretly enjoy the secrecy and lies, dishonesty and pain of having an affair with a married man. and, know that you are helping other women break up with married men and heal their hearts. that was exactly what i was trying to prevent by dating him.. you can only get over it if you do the right thing and rescue yourself from the dream quickly becoming a nightmare causing you pain, pain that is very real unlike the way things play out when you rely on (your mm) someone else to do the right thing. i dont know how to get over this pathetic break-up, but i dnt hav a choice. the married man i’ve been having an affair with – it’s been 16 years and a child together although he wasn’t married then. tiff, just in your description of how your feeling tells me you need to get away from him right now. holding on because yiu have a feeling his the one for you but on the other hand you feel he could be using you to make his family stronger im your situation kind of my guy never told me he stays with them mum of his kids when i found oit he totally denied but he never took the step to start staying with me he says he loves me he ignores it when i dump jim loke as though he dnt hear i said its over his so good and caring to me it’s hard to let him go but i dumped jim 2wks ago again i hope this time strong not to let him in again he keeps pleading that im all his got but these mem we cant really tell if thwu really love is or just string ing us along aa we waste more years hope we get the guts to let go for ever i will be proud of myself. affection is less as normal home and life stuff gets in the way, your time is spread out so it’s not always intense and fun. for all the crazy thinking we find ourselves having and the self loathing that comes, this is the addiction, the insane thinking, the attachment to the married man. your mm won’t cut ties as he is still using you mentally, just like my attached man. give an example, he one time questioned his wife if she was “seeing” anyone else after he found a message from another man on her phone. i have friends who had men string them alone during the best years – the years when you get married and have children. plus you are married so you don’t feel the full weight of being alone. my hands literally started shaking, and for the first 10 minutes after i received it, i could not even get myself to open it out of pure fear. so, for the next 2 years, we have spent a lot of time together. read carefully through the comments so many of us women have left here and learn about the patterns most of us fall into with these situations. i can pretty much say with certainty that i would never have ended up in an affair with this man if i had ever witnessed such a thing years ago. he looks another woman straight in the eye and lies. the last time he and i were together i drank a bottle and a half of wine and cried uncontrollably for hours. i go out all the time to try to meet men but it’s hard to find the chemistry and all of the things i like in a man. i’m really praying to get pregnant again so i can just close this chapter and move on. i was discarded out of the blue after being together nearly 5 years, and after he professed all his unending love for me the night before. am with him for one year 2 months and initially i didn’t even know he is married until i met his wife personally in the airport when we were back from a trip. read up on narcissistic/sociopaths, especially before your anger gets the better of you and you try taking revenge. both you and i and anyone else in a similar situation have to really look deeply at ourselves and what we need to become whole within ourselves but not necessarily through someone else married or not. these married men are totally selfish and i believe they are unhappy with themselves deep down and that is why they do the things that they do. yes, they can play happy families and happy married couples – but the fact they had you ladies means there was something wrong in their marriages, something was missing there and you were providing them with what was missing. not every person is a good human being and there are lots of nasty people out in this world, who are just nasty and not necessarily have a personality disorder. its hard coz the mind wants to justify… its hard i know but because you are here it shows you are desperate to get better. pursued me at work, and i did not know he was married, but he did tell me on our first date. this man is probably “unavailable” whether he is married or not.. but i need to stay strong when others upset me or i have a problem and stop running to him…as i can only ever message, he can take hours to reply…and i need to find a way to ignore things upsetting me (like this friend,i hope i didn’t offend her but i read back and it was a nice but hard text trying to get her to see my point). the few of us who have read this website never, ever, wanted to believe this was who our married men were, hell sometimes i still find myself questioning if it’s true, but that’s only during my down times. up late and waited for his text but just to get clichéd ones like how’s ur day, is everything ok, goodnight etc. he wants to be with you, nothing and no one on this planet will stop him from moving out of that woman’s place.!The write up above i’ve mentioned is why…none is real, on our side yes, not their side (but not really real for us – we don’t know what these am/mm really are…we see the fake person…the manipulative liar…the twister). i get in my moods of “if he do not contact me, i will not contact him” he told me on several occassions that it seems like im too busy for him.!Talking about the horrible man am with, i broke up with him agn! have only one friend that i can talk to but she doesn’t advise me to get out of the situation. then, when that relationship ended unexpectedly, i got a job working with my married man, and my vulnerability let it start all over again. when we are younger and unmarried, we are free to move onto another relationship if the one we are in doesn’t work out. i have gone through the same thing with my married man.. i dont blame u for havin an affair so coz any woman whos at ur stage, dealing with a crumbling marriage and a cheating husband can fall prey to exploitative men like u did!, i can’t express enough how important it is to read up on the possibility of your married man being a narc. we think they are princes, and maybe they do treat us like princesses when we are together, but they are also actors, and deceivers too, and let’s face it, absence makes the heart grow fonder, a relationship that has periodic visits will have much more spark and passion in it than the ones with the day to day repetition of living together, paying bills, doing laundry, food shopping and living with the total package. he always insisted its me he wanted his life with, and no matter how many outs i tried to give him, he always assured me of his love and that the last thing he wanted was to watch me and my love walk away. after our closeness he started to back off, hot and cold and this is when i started to get depressed and i started to make demands from him. am single and have been seeing a married man for a year now! so all this bs of them leaving us alone no contact is just a way for them to emotionally manipulate us. every girl here, im in a relationship with a married man for about 6mos. you are better than that, and don’t even forget it. i am not sure why i havent found the strength to get out….’m having to go back out with work a few times this summer and will be seeing our friends so almost certainly married man too. and therefore, a vulnerable woman is the perfect thing for them. i’m pushing 40 so i get what you mean about not finding someone better. they don’t see us as human beings, and they sure as hell don’t treat us like humans. if you work with him, you need to get another job. basically, it was fun, he was romantic and he took me out of my day to day. we were together for 4mounth and he offer me being his business partner which was his way to my world. time flies, do not waste it chasing a man who has not left his wife. other problem his denied ever staying with any one i found out from outside sources they had ever gone to court twice with the mum of kids but the court usually gives the custody to th mum of the twins so since this guy cant let his kids be taken they end up getting back together the twins r 6 n they have a aon 1yr . we work together occasionally ( see each other professionally about twice a month).’s been over a month now that my married man ended it and i haven’t reached out. my friend once referred to my married man as a narcissist and i completely disagreed with her. but you have to figure this out and put an end to the married man once and for all and move on with your life with your bf. and he will always think what he’s doing to her is worse (cheating with us) so he will go out of his way to be accommodating. he will continue cheating on her and he will do to the next woman as he has done with you., forget-me-not, sim, fiona, flavass, thank you for the concern and for your responses. he’s been married to the same woman for the past almost 18 years they have four children together. the attached man (he is not married but been with his gf a good 12 years, they have a business child and mortgage together) helped me escape my violent crazy ex about 11 months after we got together. why do you leave the door open for the married man? he still contacts me claiming that he was manipulated to go back and that he is very unhappy and wants me. you will get there, the other side of this pain is a beautiful fulfilling life awaiting you. he doesn’t get the simplest things i try to get through to him in my time of need so it’s now just a dead end street. your right i am only getting the crumbs and i’m miserable. we are in dysfunctional relationships but not every married man having an affair is promising their left arm to someone. i think of him everyday i won’t lie, but really i feel so much of a stronger woman that i can move on without him and refocus on me.?Considering this man told me he doesn’t feel the same way and wants to be friends and after i told him i will open my heart and let him go his response was ‘thank you for understanding’… wtf is he on about…? is my coworker, i was married my left my husband earlier this year. i can sense he knows that i’m wanting to end it because he uses expressing himself as a way to get me back in. he is married and lives in the same building as i do. its so simple for these disgusting married men to cheat on their wives & in the process break hearts of the girlfriends & then return to their usual life. i’m zooey i recently got involved with a married man when i’m also married we’ve been seeing each other for about 3 months until last week when he text me and said he valued his wife and jesus more and he is sorry.! i don’t need any man or any person to treat me like that. dating a married man is something i looked down on others for doing and now look at me. will i ever trust a man to enter my life again on any terms? a colleague who is actually a close friend of my am for about 10 yrs, managed to keep his job but needed somewhere new to stay, he came over and liked the room so i got that sorted too (there was no more rent from the am). grant 13 months ago from united kingdommy feeling is that a leopard never changes its spots, and if you get involved with a married man, he is likely to lie to you like he lies to his wife, and ultimately, if you get together, he will be unfaithful to you just as he was to his wife. and of course i’ve given him another chance … even though i hate that phrase i’ll do my best because it’s like a get out of jail free card if he doesn’t do something i know he will say but i did my best… the hardest part of this is i know i need to walk away before i lose everything ,my husband, hurt my kids for someone who doesn’t really give a dam. i discovered they were married shortly after he became my boss. once you can get out of denying yourself the truth, then you’ll be able to truly move on.” i have a feeling many of these men are hiding in what they call “unhappy marriages”. is hard but you can get through this, i promise.? i’m taking off tomorrow so it will give more time to pull myself back together and hopefully remain strong.. you will manage i promise but you have to do one thing everyday to leave that nightmare. at times, i still find it shocking how everything turned out and i may never fully understand how any human being can cause so much anguish in another person’s life. anyway, 2 months ago he lost his job as many did where i worked. it’s been a week since i broke it off with my married man of two years. and that’s the thing, each time we end it and i get to where i’m good there he is again. 11 months ago i have been in a on and off relationship with my ex boyfriend for 5 years, and in this time he was also dating someone else, and i knew about it, but i was so obsess and in love with him that i really didnt care, eventually we parted ways, and he married the other woman and they have a beautiful son togther, it was really painful i couldnt get past the pain, eventually i found the strenght to let go, but couple of months later i once again found myself back with him, i dont know what to do, i am so confuse, the sex is amazing, but im not getting anything out of it, im happy when im with him, but the thought of him sleeping next to his wife just kills me, and the fact that i have to make appointments to see him, and im not allowed to call him at night, i love this guy, but i dont know i how to walk away. they don’t see us as human beings, and they sure as hell don’t treat us like humans. i was consider the good guy that everyone looks up to, a man of integrity and she was consider the good girl. i dont expect him to leave his woman for me but it is definitely bitter sweet. these men lie and manipulate and by the time you realise, you’re in love with low self esteem as a result of competing with his wife. i hope you find the courage in you to block this man from your life and open yourself up to the potential of meeting someone who will be available to you, and will treat you like how you should be treated. as much as they say they love you, no man who truly loved a woman would put her through hell like this. he lies and says he felt like he lost his right arm – not once did he try to get his right arm back or find out what had happened! i feel happy most days and i love dating men that want to be seen with me. can’t speak for you natalia, but i wrote a very long letter to my married man as i wanted him to understand how painful my position was and how it was tearing me apart. she probably is an awesome person, who is unfortunately married to a dick who should be thankful for what he has, but has probably already headed out to find the next poor gal to enjoy the hours of 3:30-5pm with. one day i agreed to go out with him for drinks in the evening as i had finally gotten divorced and that eve after tooo many cocktails we ended up kissing and then having sex., heaviness is a good way to describe it – i’m having days where i’m ok too, and then i suddenly get hit with terrible sadness and heaviness. have been seeing my married man for about a year now. i am only two weeks post breakup, still grieving, and unlike many, we did exchange a few emails back and forth, because for me, cold turkey was not the way to my healing and i have known this person for over thirty five years, always felt a strong soul connection and friendship foundation. i think of him everyday i won’t lie, but really i feel so much of a stronger woman that i can move on without him and refocus on me. i get to pay for the food, our room, his gas, and even end up giving him money. either way, he gets the best of both worlds; both you and his wife get half a life.. m waiting for the day wen i wil be over him in such a nice manner that reading all these journals will only make me laugh & i will laugh at my stupidity, just like i laugh about my teenage & college breakups! he lied to me initially that he was a divorcee but i was caught by his wife after our 9 months of dating. so i said hey either get back to who you were or i’m done. i would be walking on egg shells all the time, just to make sure that we were happy together and he would have the child. just know he doesn’t just get to snap his fingers and go back to happy home life. i feel horrible… he then spends 30 minutes on the phone with me while out getting the groceries to entertain her and their friends for a dinner party tonight. because we get so frustrated by the mm up and down behavior, their lies and blowing us off and all the other drama that goes down. i don’t know what it will take to get you there but one day you will. but, you have to remember that when you date married men, you will get hurt. i found out the truth i never gave him any tantrum i just told him i had found out and told him im to good to be aside woman so we end it,he never accepted that he stays with baby mama. but i don’t want to break up his family being the another woman. because he could not muster the courage to do the right thing until now, he let me down so many times that i did not have much hope anymore. i wanted to put him and every man like him in his place. i have started dating again and although i feel lost and odd, after 3 years of being alone, it’s nice to say i’m off out tonight on a 2nd date with a single (younger too! i totally get how hard it is bc they can make you feel on top of the world but they also can make you feel like the lowest life form possible. so those kinds of facts/truth really get in my way and that’s why i have all of these negative thoughts. he was open that i was such a pure woman, unexposed to the badness in the world, and he would not promise any future in this relationship to confuse me. i just want to be strong enough to move on and forget him. i never really thought anything about her, or their marriage, other than they seemed kind of strange together. is married with adult children, and i am married with children myself. i’m a married woman having an affair with a married man. told me he was happily married he didn’t want to leave her. even though it sucks and it’s so painful…the feeling that you get from leaving them is a little rewarding and helps the pain a little. found the strength i needed to end a secret love affair i was having with a married man. it’s a different world altogether, you and your baby. never forget that life is only made by our decisions. you can never trust a man how is cheating cause there is no exception if he can do it with his wife he can do it with you and so many others. when i met my mm he was so charming sweet and handsome my type lol anyway i never knew he was seeing anthor woman til one day i look through his mail while he in the shower i seen a woman name the mail but i had been with him 9m before seeing the woman’s name he had told me there were nobody else the way it looked to me there wasn’t anybody else but me but it all seemed a big old lie my betfriend finds him on fb married and having twins with his wife while i’m 5mths pregant with his baby boy i was alone during pregancy baby shower it was hard but i am strong i’m so hurt now 2016 its 4yrs over been with him i don’t know how to leave him i love him so but i need faith to move on hes in and out my life my son life his not supportive emotionally i just need a way to find the courage to move on to better. you may need to actually move away from the area you live in altogether in order to move on with your life. i told the married man yesterday i wish i wer like u, heartless & unaffected, wud hav been easy for me to move on, like u hav. you go off on a rant about how expecting or wanting money or gifts is prostitution and that it's all about the love here, remember that dating a married man is not exactly moral either. but, hearing stories of woman that continue to see the married man, i just could never do. now i see that no matter how good they are and how sweet and good man they are. take care of yourself and detach from your married man. you are not alone, we are so many, left the same way, like if all we lived never happened and never happened…but the best thing you can do, is live for yourself and not let yourself be his puppet even when he doesnt want you in his life anymore. if i fell asleep before saying good night, i’d get the cold shoulder. they have deteriorated over time, and i’m looking to get back into church, even if i’m watching sermons online and then hopefully some volunteering. i’m not even sure i can truly recover enough from this to ever be with another man but i can be on my own and with my kids no problem. why should anyone have to do so much work to keep a married man? a man will use excuses and make promises that he will break. these men would not be the first men in history to get a divorce and still be an active, loving parent to their child. our love is stronger than our own ego and we are willing to sacrifice our pride for the love from that person. i love this man and i know he loves me., i took the decision today that i have to leave my married man, i just don’t know how, i search for help and here i am… i really want to be with him one more time, smell his chest and hug him soooo hard.. i later went on facebook and found out he had been married 3 years now. i can almost scream at the top of my lungs because so many of the women on this site, are in denial and completely brainwashed and just don’t want to believe what i’ve been saying for months is true. in january 2016, i finally managed to put an end to sleeping with the married guy. there is always an emotional void in my life because my marriage is kind of based on responsibility and structure of family, my bf ( the married man ) is 4 years younger than me. he is still in the whole relationship routine and i’m not sure how other women get to spend so many weekends with their married men but i guess all our circumstances are different. believe nothing stays in the dark for too long…no one gets away with type of behavior forever. he wil trap more girls like me & dump them also wen they get into melodrama & all. and in another section here, from sharon…if married men wanted to leave they would, no ifs and no buts and no blaming the kids/money/business and so on. he always uses his daughter as an excuse and then gets agitated at me for complaining or fighting about it which then leads him to disappear for hours or days and then comes back pretending as if nothing happened. for me anyway, i feel desperate sometimes but have to remind myself that no matter how great it felt when we were together that i’m better off without him and the lies. until one day, today, i stop crying though i’m still immensely in sadness, and i start getting used to the fact that i don’t have him anymore. of christ 11 months ago all of you who are dating married men have your priorities wrong! i saw a pic on facebook of the married man with his wife on valentines day. e confused anymore and you’ll at least get some type of closure. this is first with a married man but i also had to overcome many breakups before, and when i look back, they have all gone into the past. initially he used to force me to get married to him anyhow, but i knew as per law that is illegal, so i never agreed. if he is truly giving his marriage “the chance it deserved” shouldn’t he be burning down his wife’s door trying to get her back and not talking to me? it only turned sour in the last year with the breaking up and getting together again. i learned through my situation that the married man can learn to make his way back in even when you think it’s done forever, so it’s something to prepare for in order to not fail. i have a young child i'm in a bind financially and i could really use the extra help and he knows that's the only reason i'd be getting involved with him. i really love this man for a few reasons: he helped me see the value in me, he taught me a lot about people, i learned a lot about myself, i learned about the complexities of life, and he taught me to be a good judge of character. i never really thought anything about her, or their marriage, other than they seemed kind of strange together. man has robbed me of my life the last 11 months. my husband is the one man who loved & loves me truly & unconditionaly! i love him so much but last dec 26 we had a major fight which i told him i will talk to his wife ( thou i will not do that, just want to get equal because of all the nasty things he told me) he was very angry and shouted every hurtful words he can throw to me like don’t you dare, you don’t know the implications of what you just told me, this will be the last time that you can bother me etc etc. of the first things to consider is this: did he tell you he was married from the beginning or did he lie to you and then have to tell the truth? i just need to let him go but what is killing me is letting go of wanting revenge, not the man. how many of us grew up with strong morals, faith, happiness, and are also the last people in the world anyone would ever suspect would be in this situation? say some very truthful things here, we have all been there, sacrificing our pride for love…because we love them so much. i wil b the bad woman here & the husband-wife will work things out amongst themselves . i have too many other things to worry about than being intimate with married men that really could careless about me. he is a generous man and has always been, but he loves me… i love him… if i need anything he will always be there (if he can) and i will always be there for him. it is hard for me to leave him now after two months, i cannot even imagine how it could feel after years of my invested emotions and commitment to a man who doesnt really care about any of that. it was definitely hard for my married man to get me entangled in this mess. i am all for womanhood, and in no way possible did this woman deserve to be cheated on by her husband. i tell myself that in time it will get better, i sure hope so. fyi, im a virgin, i dont want to loose my virginity before married. it’s very comforting to know that i am not the only one going through this, as for the longest time i felt so alone and felt like such an awful person for being involved with a married man. i am in love with a man that doesn’t love me. fell down but now you get back up and start over again. i feel sad bc in the past year i’ve made some connections with friends at the gym but in order for me to separate i have to totally let everything associated with this man go. this man has been married for 24+ years and has had several affairs that i personally didn’t find out about until later. on one hand it makes me feel less alone in loving a married man, on the other hand the pain that all your words are drenched in is so heart wrenching. it is very hard and i have my weak moments throughout the day but i’m determined to get away from him. my man was a waste of my time but i guess i needed to learn. i dont know anything other than him and our restricted times of seeing each other and being together…. it’s not a race but it will make a huge difference and it will effect how you manage the post-break up feelings. but i just cannot accept a relationship where a man’s heart is torn in two. when he took my old phone i had not reset it and there were some texts from a couple other guys i had dated while dating him… he became furious and asked that it just be me and him so i agreed. my married man broke up with me four times in the last two years, although he doesn’t really call it break up. can talk to many people who have experienced similar situations on my blog. hopefully someone reading my story will get some comfort knowing that they are not alone and that these married men are very clever in how they operate.'s such a nice and kind, been helping me a lot at work and push me for promotions and salary increment for many times, even before we started dating. i don’t think he can help it cause i know i’m not the only woman he’s had an affair with. it’s not specifically about breaking up with a married man or getting over an affair with another woman’s husband, but it will help you move forward in your life. my ego was bruised but i don’t believe i was as invested in him as i thought i was…anyway my point of bringing this up is because i’ve truly always been loyal and yet left behind for the next woman.. cried myself to sleep too many nights cos he was perfect. let us know how you get on 🙂 and good luck, you’ve no need to be ‘friends’…. however, there is a twist when a married guy at work i was hanging out with at first i thought he is just a friend but then over time i felt in love. as for reaching out to your am, don’t get down on yourself. then, as long as you are not in contact with him, you will begin to heal and get your life back. married man i see lives in another town he is very rich and powerful. he told me he wants to work on his marriage but is on a dating site and i found out he’s seeing other women. trust me, trust us, the best thing you can do is walk away with pride and stop thinking about what he may or may not think. reason a married man can end an affair so easily is because his first allegiance is to his wife. the potential in reflecting on your own marriage and deciding if you can love that man again.) through college and get a new job because we worked together, which wouldn’t have been allowed, not to mention his wife worked at the same establishment. it’s just been me to pull away from him because of my married man. one day recently, he confessed that he's had feelings for me since we worked together 16 years ago., the workplace, as well as church and online dating are some of the most popular places narcissists like to target and entrap their victims. yeah, brain gets so addictive to those “happy” chemicals with a married man, that we become hooked very quickly. i already feel better just getting off my chest and it’s nice to hear other stories and know i am not alone in what i feel. married man and i keep getting back together…idk y honestly…why are we so afraid to let go? it gets easier and it was painful but not as painful as staying. they have no kids together and they both earn great money so there really wasn’t anything holding him back from what i could see and from what he continually told me. i have moved behind the initial phases of recovery, in the sense that i am not in blinding grief, i am living my life, and i have lost the urge to call or message my married man. i worked with a married man for yrs and became involved. don’t get me wrong, i’m sure a lot of mm love their mistresses but they do something about it and don’t throw breadcrumbs and lies for years. me if you get strong you can walk away easily without a pity party! i am all for womanhood, and in no way possible did this woman deserve to be cheated on by her husband.. but all in vain as i didnt get even an iota of it in return. i cried all weekend but feel this is part of the grieving / mourning process that you have to go through to get to the other side. that means that he will get an apartment, he will move out, he will give you keys to his apartment, he will have you around his child, he will take you when he goes to pick up his child for visits. he has said that before that its hard on him to when we’re not “together”. you will be proud of yourself that you had the courage and dignity to stop dating a married man, and you will start readying yourself for a healthy new relationship.. i will fight the addiction & urge to talk to the married man. and in that dream, he tried to send me some kind of…links, and when i clicked on those links, all i could see was how he proposed sweetly to his wife, how they got married, how they are happy together. like you are describing my relationship with my married man. yourself so hard you can’t get angry because of anything ,that also means you have forgiven yourself! i am married with three young kids and have been seeing amarried man on and off for 5 years.’s been 3 days since i’ve talked to my married man. even though i sleep over at his home and sometimes we vacation together, i want him to say i will put you before any other woman. she got on her high horse by stating that if a man has kids he can't leave. marries man said he wants to grow his children that’s why he stays (lame excuse really). please just try to get out and around friends, or family, it will take your mind off of it for at least a short while, or at least help ease the pain. married man no longer talking to me or texts me back. ladies, i have a few questions…how many of you really want to be exclusive with your married man?, i am trying to feel as little about him as possible these days except for a welcome peace and an acceptance that i was in a very f–ed relationship for a very long time with a man who is incapable of love. thinking that the man will leave and you will get your happily ever after. i know that this – not being with a him or any other man who is not mine – is the best best decision for me. tiff, just in your description of how your feeling tells me you need to get away from him right now. i hope you break free from the married men you’re involved with, because those relationships don’t go anywhere. after the christmas holiday, i told him i didn’t want to continue anymore and i managed to put a stop to it for a few months.) and sometimes it takes a few attempts to get it right, but, please do not expect the married man to come running. i guess here is a good thing: i can never eva go back to this man now. remember, i have been in this for nearly 5 years now and i am being so dead serious when i say get out now. anyway i have no other choice except to grit my teeth and get on with my life- sans him..Heartbreak, i like to read your writing about how to deal with the thoughts of the married man and his wife. whole situation has broken me and i am trying to get myself back again., i’m basically in the same boat other than it’s only been 4 years that we’ve been together and i’m the one who told him we needed to cut off all contact until he makes a decision. it’s not my business to manage his wife schedule. i’m still seeing my man, but i don’t feel like i’m being his doormat anymore. i know it is hard, often we only feel we are someone in their eyes, and we forget the rest of the world. he is the one that was persistent with me from the get go messaging me! i know i will heal and get stronger in time, although i never stop thinking about him and i still love him. the other woman: the complete handbook for every woman in love with a married man..It has been the best article so far i read about how to break up with a married man. he is the kindest, gentlest man i’ve ever met. we had worked closely together but began to get closer when he was going through some things with his kid. he still denies it today that they live as man and wife but when i ask to see the divorce papers that were signed a few months ago he refuses and he refuses for me to meet his son. still i did not get attached but we kept seeing each other and of course eventually we both got deeply involved and fell in love – physically, mentally and even more so spiritually. know what true love is, and you also know that if the married man really loved you…he’d be with you every night. we were together up until august 2016 (baby was born march) he broke up with me once again. he still contacts me claiming that he was manipulated to go back and that he is very unhappy and wants me. advice…please please – do not leave your husband for this disgusting old married man. and soon enough i know and i believe we will be with the man we deserve!. i'm exhausted from this, utterly utterly exhausted (it's funny as thought this earlier before buying the book…and in the book…tudor mentions when you realise he's a narcissist or has some of the many traits, you'll suddenly feel exhausted! i definitely think that not all married men are just using us but they start sinking under the weight of when fantasy turns to reality. no matter how common it is to fall in love with and date a married man, it is degrading, dishonest, and disappointing. following week, i bumped into him after work and we ended up getting left by all of our workmates because we were so absorbed in each others conversation. i felt so alone until i found this site and all of you, and i’m truly grateful you shared your stories even though it makes me sad to know so many other women are experiencing such pain. my readers are discussing how difficult, painful, and destructive it is to keep hanging on to an affair with a married man.’t accept this married man’s phone calls, text messages, facebook popups, emails, facetime prompts, tweets, blog comments, or notes at work. the married guy i chose to get myself involved with was an old high school friend. i had the exact same breakup convo with my married man. then he told he will divorce his wife(he is married since 25 years with one son, and one daughter who has died at the age of 3, who also shares the same birth year as mine), but i don’t wanted to be a family breaker so i forbid him not to do so. he is still in a tight schedule, i get b*tchy and say ‘the shackles are on, off you go home’ – but i have no right, however awful and nasty or screwed up his gf is meant to be, she expects him home after work. are so many beautiful and nice things in our lives, we just have to see and enjoy them again…step by step. the only way i could finally leave the married man this current time was to say to him, “look we have all this history together and i do have very deep feelings for you but i am no longer okay with our arrangement. of course you still hurt, you are a normal woman and people hurt from getting played in the way we get played. they just get trapped in a situation where reality sets in and they don’t know how to get out and actually be with us. i had made so many positive changes and he couldn’t make any. its been 2 days i sent my married man the breakup mail & i was feeling so relaxed & free that day, he replied saying u have gone mad n u cant stop me from loving you. i’m hanging on to every word he says just to get that clarification i need to go on about my day. just as chatting with someone online is a choice, having a lunch together, going for a drink, climbing into bed… these are all the choices which can lead to ‘falling in love’ and setting the foundation for creating and stoking an affair. kim, if it’s hard for you to truly believe what we’re saying right now, i totally get it. he has not matured into a man even though he’s 38 and most likely, never will. i’m not sure what hurts worse blowing me off after 10 years in this relationship where i have given this man everything from my heart to my mind to my body in a five minute phone call or the fact that he would rather stay with a woman that he’s told me on several occasions that he loves her but doesn’t like her. there are many other short blogs by this author and it would do you a world of good to educate yourself on what you’re truly dealing with. i agree that the married men are not happy, which is why they wander. it’s way more trouble than it’s worth anyway, but at least if you are getting some sort of happiness or validation, there is something to say for that. just a note, my mm has told me many times in the past that he and his wife had gone to counseling years before we got together, but they eventually stopped going after they both felt like it didn’t do either one of them any good. i was his friend and coworker, and was even happily dating..I’m on day 9 now and it does get easier! the least we deserve is to be broken up with in a kind manner. but now, he said he shouldn’t have lifted his bar so high so it’s time i get accustomed to reality that we have family to care of, to hide from and not to arouse their suspicions. married men will come back to you if you let them cause it’s just a game for them. years after that suggestion…we’ve not even had a weekend together! it seems like i’m back at square one with my married man. to avoid falling in love with your crush and getting into a relationshipby princesswithapen0. please help me understand and get thru this hard time. and it’s hard to move on from a married man unless you totally cut him out of your life. women get exhausted and lose themselves in motherhood and can’t meet the demands the husbands make on top of all that they do and men get frustrated and feel neglected. if he is truly giving his marriage “the chance it deserved” shouldn’t he be burning down his wife’s door trying to get her back and not talking to me? what type of callous person would use their own child to get what they want! i get that you probably don’t believe the mm is a narc, but i didn’t either with mine, until i started reading this site. he loves his wife and has stated it many times. when i arrived he was already crying, saying that i can’t leave him and he has been seeing all of these signs that we need to be together. he tried so many tactics to see me again, be my friend and i flipped out. married man told me everytime we split up he was so depressed he didn’t want to go on, he started trying to find a way to make more money, so he could leave, but i can’t be a part of that. someone i can go to dinner with someone who we can spend the night together. he is gone on spring break and i leave the week he gets back and then i am out another week.! how do you get over it and on with your life. accidentally found site and the comments on how to end a relationship with a married man. we worked very closely together and he was immediately drawn to me. you talked about exhausting schemes trying to keep this man and scheduling dates, it reminded me of myself. used to feel like i was the exception with my married man. women get exhausted and lose themselves in motherhood and can’t meet the demands the husbands make on top of all that they do and men get frustrated and feel neglected. my office manager told me just keep distance for now. is my childhood friend and best friend…he was married for 22yrs…. honestly guys it seems ridiculous but that how it happens. anyone know how i can break away from this relationship with a married man as nicely as possible but he can still be part of my life because of work?’s so ironic that for almost 24 years i was saving myself for the right person, and of all people, i had to relinquish it to a married man. the truth of what’s behind our addiction to these men, which they “need” us to believe is “love”, is his lies, his deceit, his deflections, his manipulations, his gaslighting techniques, his word games, his silent treatments, his blame-shifting, his betrayals, his future-faking, his facade! story, were were friends he went to kiss me i turned away but we stayed friends and eventually sleeping together. he’s never spoken bad about his wife he says she’s a great mom and that they get along well enough to coexist and raise the girls. 3yrs after we met he married his girlfriend in an impromptu vegas ceremony. orders over —or get free two-day shipping with amazon prime. after you start to come through the grief, you will be grateful to no longer be trapped in the hell of searching for articles on how to break up with a married man. i’m going to shut the new married man situation now before i get hurt or hurt anyone else more. i just need to pull through work days (friday is crucial) and i’ll be fine, i’ll emerge stronger, why? i think we just have to deal with the pain before it gets better. he and i work together and run into each other very rarely but we do. 12 months ago i am currently seeing a married man who is my boss..funny enough, i called an ex colleague who lives in germany who i haven’t talked to in months, ended up letting her know about my mm. honestly, sometimes i find myself wishing i’d get something from mine too just so i can throw the silent treatment back in his face. i too see my married man not every day but at least twice a month…we live in the same building. when we started out he was getting divorced and i was single. i already feel lonely but i’d rather be alone and healthy with myself than lonely in a really sick, unhealthy relationship with a married man. this married man never returned even an iota of my love, care or affection. i have to show this fool what kind of woman i am. because like any addiction, i am powerless over the married man. how many of us are actually professionals trained to make that label? he called me everyday this week except friday and today. i too wish my married man pain and bad things. i questioned this many times as i never saw the love in his eyes or felt his love and affection for me.! i’ve been with this married man for 2 years and 3 months. have a 5 week old baby girl from my married man. he also talked constantly about how he couldn’t wait to come home to me every night, and how “perfect” everything would be for us, once we could be together. » breaking up » emotional affairs » how to break up with a married man and heal your heart. professional help is very good (but even with a professional help it will take a while to get your brain back to the normal functioning). i have no idea how his wife got my number,I told my office manager about it later on. that still is no excuse to get back into a dysfunctional relationship. i am a strong, resilient 51 year old woman, but this situation has brought me to my knees, literally. love this man – i can’t seem to be able to let go. on my last day (1 month ago) when we were together, we talked and he said he enjoyed our time together but we couldn’t see each other outside the office because of his work life and because it could lead to more feelings and he couldn’t allow it…although i never hoped for a relationship with him (i have a partner and a 2 yo son, he’s married and has a 4 yo daughter, we don’t really know each other) i was so sad and i spent the following week missing him…i sent him a few emails asking how he was,etc and sometimes he would reply or not…weeks later when i thought i was starting to get over him, as i didn’t hear from him for days, i’ve decided to send him an email to which he replied and proposed lunch (5/23), for my astonishment.” so even through you are desperate to get through the pain and come out the other side, what it will mean is that what mattered so much and was such a large part of your life, will be no more. stay strong, surround your self with good people and don’t give up and don’t go back, i have gone back so many times, and then you have to start all over again. 10 months ago i am a widow but recently began seeing a married man that i work with. (i am sure he is upset with me for doing this) then when i awoke i became paralyzed in bed because i could not bear to stand up to get up out of bed to see if the call/text was there or the call/text was not there. we’ve been together for 5 years and we have two beautiful kids together. i’m not going to though because i know it would be a disaster and anything could happen…i don’t want to get hurt physically too in all this…u know. , what a drama :I broke up with married man for about 10 days now. should i tell him and move forward or do you just move forward without having a conversation with the married man? he tried to get with me but i have my own life and i’ve been busy..natural and we share so many of the same interests and and and. we lost contact, he remarried and a few years later, had a child at 50, with his present wife. if this man is showing any signs at all of dysfunction, it’s simply not a good, healthy relationship for you. i was very shocked a man i loved for a whole year can talk to me like that…. will i ever trust a man to enter my life again on any terms? i have to get over this and i have to find the strength to do so. he says to me i ask too many questions (when i ask what he is doing on weekends etc). i have also had major problems with concentrating and keeping it together. hg tudor also has many, many books (on amazon) describing in full detail what a narcissist is all about. to make it short, i started to think that why should i be loyal be honest to this married men, and i cheated on him i met guy. i got the image and i have it on my computer for when i get tempted to reach out to that scumbag. trust me: it is no joke getting out of an affair! we become like a drug to them (they are to us also) and they will do and say anything to get their fix. he told me he was married and they were having a baby due december 2015. it’s a huge mistake – destructive emotionally, spiritually, physically, socially – to have an affair with another woman’s husband. i can be the strong woman i always wanted to be and i will never let anyone treat me as badly as he did.. needless to say i have not heard back from him, but rest assured i will as there is a pattern developing here where i will begin to somehow get the good owl one liners and appologies again. ive always been the loyal girlfriend that was cheated on by every guy i was with and now im the other woman…i am still in the beginning stages and im sure it is probably best to leave now. see we affair partners make waves, we want changes, we make demands and have expectations. still, despite my horror at my own behavior, it was a tough day to tell him that i wanted to stop seeing him (woo, a few coffee dates a week and one mediocre overnight where he snored and sweated all night while i lay there wanting to get the hell out) and i cried spontaneously a few times, but then, it stopped. it takes all of us a ridiculous amount of time to really understand the games of being with a married man. as long as they can get away with their wives and come back like nothing every happened, they will just move on and forget everything.

Is kristen stewart dating robert pattinson again

How to get rid of dating a married man

you are not a masochist, you are a human being and a woman at that. many of us have, it is tough, it hurts every day, but this is doable. love this man – i can’t seem to be able to let go. they are very upset they didn’t get charges on me. i was vulnerable because i had not gotten over my divorce and jumped straight into this toxic relationship with my married man. i was involved with a married man for nearly 5 years, so i know pain and suffering, and i know how hard it is to get away, but you have to start someplace and i’m doing my damndest to lead all of you in the right direction. fell down but now you get back up and start over again. i was trying to get pregnant for 5 years, i had to take infertility treatment for all these years and nothing worked. we had a great night together then the next day he found out and told me. they have no children together, however, his son (25 yrs – prev. we spend so many days and nights together which makes so hard for me to let go. in fact, i dont wish to live with my mm or another man if i dont have to. because of many factors, they have many outside interests, and don’t share outside passions or interests. isn’t it astounding how this scenario has so many common features, behaviours, and patterns throughout most if not all of the mm relationships ? i'm guessing that she likes me too because i did get kissed back that night or was she just too polite to reject me outright? it is getting better but the process is so slow. told him to leave me alone for the last time this friday and this weekend he is celebrating his birthday with his wife and entire family without a single shred of guilt/remorse. no matter how much you hope and regardless what your married man tells you. he finally asked about if i ever dated a heavy set man, or older man and then finally a married man. is my childhood friend and best friend…he was married for 22yrs…. my reader kay broke up with the married man she was having the affair with, she experienced deep grief and heartache. i know i have to end this affair with a married man and focus on my healing. don’t think of what he might get and deserve. then he told her he was married with 2 kids but we still all went out as friends. i have never in my life had a one night stand nor ever had sex with any man the first date. you again for writing this article about breaking up with a married man, and ty to everyone that wrote in and shared their story 🙂. so many times i wished for a memory loss so i never have to think about those days again and suffer those pain and disappointments over and over again..questioning his whereabouts and all along he is still living with his wife……i loved this man so much but i knew in my heart the truth. understand that many of you are exactly where i was almost a year ago. we have not had sex, although we tried to on many occasions, but i always backed out. i agree with you not all married man are monsters and intended to hurt us in the start but in the end we all get hurt and has to carry on with the guilt, shame, disappointment and bitterness for i don’t know how long. how long does it take to get over a married man? may you see how valuable and worthwhile you are, and know that you deserve to be loved by a man who is 100% committed and available to you. the lies, deception and constant disappointment of having an affair with a married man was awful. left him because i said i no longer wanted to be with a married man. the married man ended it…im okay with the decision…i was about to end also…. i’m not letting my feelings get involved this time around., never fall in love with a married man… this is just a game to them… learn to play the game…. all i knew was i wanted the truth, and although i knew i’d really never get it, i didn’t give up putting the pressure on him..wow 5 years…i hope i don’t get caught up for that long! i wonder have a tainted my next relationship because i am emotionally tied up with another woman’s husband. i am at day 5 of nc and it is probably the hardest day thus far…but i do see glimmers in the mirror of the woman i once was…strong, confident, at ease, calm,peaceful (because i am not waiting to hear from him every second of my life anymore) i have begun to look at my role in this relationship and found that i have been looking for someone to fix me…so i am learning to fix me and be there for myself first! still try to move on but if i only knew why my married man dumped me, maybe help me to stop thinking about him. the knife cuts in deep over and over again but you cant get out because of fear you wont find something better. my ego was bruised but i don’t believe i was as invested in him as i thought i was…anyway my point of bringing this up is because i’ve truly always been loyal and yet left behind for the next woman. i said to liz above, it will take a long time (if ever) before he leaves your mind, but if you can just come to terms with the fact that he is not who he said he was, you will only get stronger and stronger. the end, i will be stronger because if it but he will not meet another woman like me. day you will be strong to walk away but for now ,get a life! this way when the time comes that you are not together anymore, at least he helped you pay your mortgage. never enough of it and when there is i get brushed off or lied to but go on social media and find the real reason i was lied to. he can say he loves me and he hasn’t felt like this in many years. i was in a 7 year long distance relationship with a married man and 7 years ago i broke it off. i feel happy most days and i love dating men that want to be seen with me. … forgot to also mention that my married man and i also tried friendship. the married man i’m with is also my best friend. was one year in may, & the first time we spoke of the “elephant in the room” was friday june 4. if we were able to get into this situation then we can definitely come out of it stronger and better. i was not able to cut off all contacts with a married man, it was too painful for me, so i was doing it slowly, very slowly. yrs and knowing my am will be sleeping, as usual, next to his gf naked again tonight and has been since we met…slowly starting to get sick of it. i do not understand how he ended up like this and feel so lost and yet, i know i have to walk away from this man, who remove the circumstances is truly my soulmate. i’ve met my married man, my soulmate, the love of my life more than four years ago. i was still living in ohio…divorced now…… and the one doing the driving or flying to make it happen for us to be together. so yeah, they will only get worse by coming back i guess. this man is clearly angry but in total denial as well. i also told him i wanted a child if we were to end up together, but he said that he wasn’t sure if he wanted more children. because they are a married man having an affair they are narcissistic? the first month of chatting with my married man i didnt know he was married but on our first date, i asked and he answered honestly. want to let go of mine thats all i want do not know how i will forget him his on my mind all the time but well tie heals all wounds i think if we got over other exs we will get over these ones. but last i heard from him was friday morning when he was home sick. leaving my married man was tough (we were supposed to meet in dubai, i never took the flight, we never spoke again and he was due to pay half my ticket but never did, and i don’t even have much money and got screwed) i guess now he is all happy with his wife and kid, and what can i do. now we have been together for a year plus, few days back he talked to his wife who promised to divorce him once he gave her daughter school fees. i text back saying thank you so much, you have really cheered me up and this is the first saturday i have woken up happy in many many years..im happy but the other said still have pain cos he is married. just ride the pain and aceept that all days are not created equal. neighbor has been and still cheating on his wife…in face throughout their relationship…they been married over 17 years but together over 23 years…since dec 18 i have been talking to my other neighbors, and to realized it is a common knowledge he’s a cheater…. kim, if it’s hard for you to truly believe what we’re saying right now, i totally get it. my married man is also my boss and the highs and lows are dreadful. swear we’re all dating the same married man…they give us all the love and affection in the beginning…but later on they start to treat us like crap…why is that? also, texted a woman from an online game site a few years back. after not seeing the married man for about 10 years (i broke it off) i started seeing him again because my partner passed away. i don’t know how to get off him as he said he only loves me and want to have our kid as he doesn’t have one by his own. he had been trying very hard to get my sympathy because he was laid off after 17 years and had “no more job in the field he loves.. i wudnt wish bad for him or his wife, but i really really want her to either die or leave him for another man. we are long distance i cant stand the time they spend together when he doesn't talk to me and although i do not question whether he is faithful i am turning more cynical and bitter every month. but in saying this you seem to be conveniently forgetting that many women having affairs with mm are also cheating on their partners! he gets his energy from internal not from other people like me. you will never again get the golden period back, period. every time i get the courage to think i am going to say it to him i dont say it. i didn’t even tell the mm i had feelings for him, i just knew that if i felt so strongly, i could not get married! but moving forward she went out of town and we’ve spent every day together.. going into this i knew he was married and i knew it was wrong and i expressed that to. i keep asking god for signs, & no matter how many signs god gave me, i always refused to believe them. we get together and for four years i don’t let him touch me. However the two of you come across one another, it is almost going to feel like an instant attraction and a mutual recognition of understanding each other . initially he used to force me to get married to him anyhow, but i knew as per law that is illegal, so i never agreed. and when i said this time i mean one of many breakups we’ve had. i will always love this man with him, without him, or with someone else. i still miss my married man too much, i think about him almost all day, it makes me tired and stuck. but that thought makes me sad because we can’t be together although we love each other. he is now telling me he will give me a baby as soon as i’m physically able to get pregnant again (if i terminate). if a man truly loved you, he wouldn’t put you through this! but i’m not carrying on being a secret, i deserve a man who can love me 100% of the time, as we all do. he says he doesn’t love her or she doesn’t understand him, but the truth is that he is committed to her because he wants to stay married to her. hate myself so much for getting involved with a married man…i feel like i cant let him go…idk y…smh…he and his wife paint such a pretty picture of there lives on social media…makes me always wonder why he cheats the way he does…i also wonder does she have a clue?’ve been in a relationship with a married man for 9 years. this is why i think these damn affairs are so hard to get up and leave! and it was because i’d be stressing, nervous about getting his, “are you still there” text. takes strength and courage to let go – but you can learn how to get over a married man! my married man, he is married to the one he loves, spending time with her, having a baby with her, building a life with her, everything is smooth. that was 6 weeks ago and he has been round for sleepovers twice ( how can she put up with this) and yesterday he turned up after 11 days no contact (my choice) to tell me how much he loves me, how sorry he is for hurting me and i’ve told him not to come again and not to contact me again, i need more than crumbs of this man and his wife needs him to step up and be the man she thought she had married. stay strong, relax and meditate if you can, exercise, find a hobby and focus on yourself because even if you were with this man you need your own life. loving and leaving a married man can drive you crazy and make you do and say things that are not the real you. i don’t deserve to be second or lower priority to a man. he wud come to pik me at the airport even if my flight lands at 3 am, whereas this disgusting man wud not bother to ask also if i landed safely, or for that matter drop me at the airport even during daylight! we can and will get through this your right, self worth is so important. they have 3 children together and i never wanted to disrupt their family. out of 5 starsbustedbyqon january 4, 2011format: paperback|verified purchasethe only problem i have with this book is that the author is making it difficult for a man to be a serial cheater. he said hmmm…ok, call me when you get home. i still miss my married man too much, i think about him almost all day, it makes me tired and stuck. they’re happily married now and my friend is glad she stayed with him…but it was a long road! it took me a total of 6 months, but little by little i got rid of anything my ex-mn gave to me and each time i did, i felt just a little bit better. they’ve been happily married for about 6 years and their daughter adorable. you know this isn’t real love, and you know the married man won’t leave his wife for you. while my story started slightly different, the communication and breakups with my married man were the same as you. after searching several websites to help get over this yucky, gut wrenching feeling, i ran across this site which has helped me realize that i am definitely not alone. i feel devastated right now, being left, abandoned while they are coming back together, so happy. feel sane finally, after reading this post……i can’t cope physically pr mentally anymore with the rollercoaster that is my ‘fake’ relationship with my married bf…. he has someone to keep him warm, through the nights, while i stare at the ceiling with endless thoughts and so many questions and the hours seeming like days. the way these married men love you is just not enough. love yourself and you will learn and understand that you’re more than a man who wants you because he’s not confident enough or man enough because of his problems since childhood. i’d rather be me and walk away/him ignore me than the woman doing his washing, cooking, childcare, working flat out on the business (he’s a bully when it comes to that after all his business stories, i can see why the ex wife went mad in the end) then returning home to clean and iron his clothes…. it’s madness but it’s a madness only a woman in an affair with a married man can understand. prayer for you is that you find the strength and courage you need to stop dating this married man, to stop being the other woman.’re madly in love and want to be together, but he says he can’t decide what to do because the wedding is being arranged by his sister, and he has a 13 year old son (with another woman) who is close to his fiancee. and even ready to see or hear that she's dating other men because she has a life.. i cannot get him out of my head, my mind and i am back in college and trying to focus to get my degree so i can get a job again, i cannot concentrate as i constantly check my phone and texts etc, to see if he is online, then the texting starts but mainly at the weekend and i feel so happy to be talking to him then nothing. i hate that my married man is the only male i am seeing. i pray you reconnect with god, with your husband, and with the you who deserves so much more than being the other woman. why cant she just find out and he get what he deserves. i’m married myself, 2 young kids, and ended my affair exactly 1 month ago today. am also dating a married man for one year 2 months. somehow i remembered i got married, had children and told him he had the wrong house. i dreamt of him and me being in 2 totally different worlds, it’s like the death – alive, the human being – ghost kind of world, but somehow we managed to talk to each other, and communicated to each other. i am trying to think with my head and tell myself that i can get past him if i give my heart and mind a fair shake at moving on by instigating no contact and actively redirecting my thoughts to where they should be which is with husband and kids and extended family. but i do agree, it takes immense amount of time, pain, tears, anti-depressants & even therapies to get over the breakup! i wasn’t this woman who could separate my feelings this way. searching for what your life is missing – and it’s not a married man. they aint married officially but they stay together when i confronted him he denied every thing he told me its me he loves me & stays with nobody. my friends used to be adamant he would come back, saying he’ll never find anyone like you who wants him. a life apart from him,open up to others and answer his calls less,get so busy you stop looking forward to his visit! michelle i just wanted to say that i am in your same position for over 2 years, yes i fell inlove with a married man like you he caught my heart and he always wanted me to stay and never give up and of course i never give up for him for almost 2 years and then the time passes i always hurt and get jealous with his wife i need his attention but he always with her wife he also told me that he is never happy in his marriage but he cannot leave his wife maybe that’s all the married man can’t do, so i decided to let go of him and i tell him that i give up on our relationship but he insisting his self to me he goes on my work place but i told him to stay away and don’t ever come back i don’t know what i feel but something your heart will put you on the right decision if your tired of all the things, yes i forgive him and i wish i will forget him soon just be strong to tell him that i deserve a man that will love me. it seemed as though he was never fully ready to pull the plug, even though he made steps to get to that point. the truth of what’s behind our addiction to these men, which they “need” us to believe is “love”, is his lies, his deceit, his deflections, his manipulations, his gaslighting techniques, his word games, his silent treatments, his blame-shifting, his betrayals, his future-faking, his facade! he just needed to get another restaurant opened so he could give me the lifestyle he wanted for us both. from “knowing the narcissist”:Is the silent treatment on emails a trick of narcissistic married man? through as many as you can and make note of the narcissist website sharon has mentioned, seems you’re already dealing with one!, these men are all the same and use the same tools to manipulate and make us fall in love. the married man in my life was never a warm and dependable friend that’s for sure. he always treated me well, totall gentle man but as time passed. i may not ever meet my available man because i am sexually and emotionally involved with someone elses man ? just found this site on friday night and it was like someone threw me a life preserver when i saw it! i’m not sure i imagined this i really thought i’d be single for 6 months or so and get tired of being along and start dating. a man who can’t keep his word or promises when he married someone, he will never change and you will always stay the side chick you will never be more than that to him. after listening to her talk about their intimate discussions, i figured out that her lover had caught on to the fact that darleen seemed to accept him going home to his wife as long as he and his wife were no longer sleeping together. i moved out after a year because i wanted to get out of the situation and it was getting hard for him to pay my rent. if you are not getting what you need from your husband, re-evaluate what is wrong in your marriage causing you to seek emotional solace and support from someone else. he doesn’t call as much, doesn’t text as much, and i am pretty positive that he is moving on to his next experience, and will eventually leave altogether. now i’m like an obsessed, insane woman checking my phone every ten minutes for a message. i’ve read so many different stories and everyone is right. am so mad… found out (through some social media investigations) that my married man dated a young 23 year old for 7 years until she was 30. have broke up and got back together so many times, i cannot even keep count, but now i see how others are treated and then dumped and i do not want to waste my time anymore. i have actually said sorry to him and to god for ever getting involved on any level with a married man at all. there anyone who have this experience that her married man saw the results of his actions? part of what i loved about my married man was his emotional availability. me when i say this, no man who truly loved you would stay married if he found the love of his life elsewhere. we started and i get pregnant and he was happy as we were getting ready for our marriage i found out he was married in africa without kids. he wants you to keep dating him even though he’s married and even though he won’t leave his wife. married man told me today he can’t and won’t leave his daughter. it’s so hard to think of all the beautiful memories we shared, yet knowing that none of it meant anything to him, which is why it’s also so hard to see him as even being human. & in a way i think i was hoping that he came to his senses, realized he loved me, & we would ride off into the sunset together.) but he isn't getting my time, however little i have to do or however busy i become but can't stop thinking of him. saw him last tuesday, ignored me wednesday and thursday, finally friday he responded and said i’m so sorry yesterday and wednesday we’re just not good days for me. need to find some way to get out…this man is only thinking of himself…no phone, friends go some where even living in the street is better then the situation ur in… you left home at 18, do u have family members? this is one of the best tips on how to break up with a married man: cut off all contact and leave him alone. when we were “together” (and i use that term loosely since i’ve now realized that he was never really mine), we never went more than 3 weeks without seeing each other.? i’m taking off tomorrow so it will give more time to pull myself back together and hopefully remain strong. we are the ones that get the short end of the stick when it goes downhill. the affair continued because i had fallen in love with this man. i stupidly thought ok well we will never be together but hes a cool guy to chat with and thats it well 3 months after that the chatting turned into amazing sex and now @6 months down the line, im trying to figure out how to let him go. he tells me that he doesn’t want us to disturb our families n yet be together! i became very sick and he saved my life by getting me to a hospital. struck a cord in my heart because he reminded me what it was like to actually be the only woman, even for that evening, that was a part of him…no wife or gf at home. i’m going to post an excerpt from the book so you can get an idea of the author’s thought process. tell him you need a “time out” to think things over and in the meantime taht you need for him to get his sh-t completely together. because we get so frustrated by the mm up and down behavior, their lies and blowing us off and all the other drama that goes down. the married men who refuse to let go of their marriage are the types that find too difficult to face their problems and to deal with reality so they need a fantasy to escape to. anyway, 2 months ago he lost his job as many did where i worked. he’s been with his wife since highschool (he’s 40 i’m 25) and they have kids together. 4 months ago i found out that he is married only two months from now but i really love him . you will never again get the golden period back, period. its not about how many times you fall…pick yourself up and start again. i was with him for 9 years, eight were good and the last one year was just series of breakups and getting back for few weeks then breaking up again. about 2 years ago, i met an older man (60 – i am 43), and he pursued me like crazy. more true than we still probably even believe ourselves, but we’re getting there. you hate yourself for sleeping with another woman’s husband, and you also tell yourself that you can’t break up with this married man because you love him. now we have been together for a year plus, few days back he talked to his wife who promised to divorce him once he gave her daughter school fees. i am an intelligent woman but why do i let this married man lie to me and use me and string me along? just feel so stupid but i’m not strong enough to let go of this married man… he treats me like crap and i know it. i have too many other things to worry about than being intimate with married men that really could careless about me. just last week, when we were together someone texted him, a woman. i counted how many times i tried leaving my ex-married man, and it is 7 on the dot. nine years, five years, 2 days is time we can never get back, but hopefully we can learn something valuable from all we’ve been through. and even knowing it’s better for me if i don’t hear from him so i can get it through my head that this won’t work. i managed to go five months no contact and then when he messaged me i caved. had the exact same reaction when i read the many posts on this site. his apparent passion et al is manufactured to draw fuel (emotional attention) from you. we would meet in different states and have amazing sex and time together but i always cried because i wanted more. am with him for one year 2 months and initially i didn’t even know he is married until i met his wife personally in the airport when we were back from a trip. he also gets jealous about other guys but has no issues talking about going to a nice din with his wife. everything you described is my married man and our situation to a tee. back now, after 6 months of being away from the married narc (mn), i see clearly where he played mind games on me during the entire 4. it is so hard and painful to let go of the man i still believe to be my soulmate and the love of my life.’ve been in a relationship with a married man for 9 years. am moving slowly into my brand new life without my married man of 20 years (on and off). he sounds like the very same married man i was in an affair with too. he lied to me initially that he was a divorcee but i was caught by his wife after our 9 months of dating. my husband was a cheater so why would i do that to another woman? in islam it’s allowed to marry more than one the thought of having another woman aside from me is killing me inside. it doesn’t matter if you’ve been with this man for 3 months or 10 years, if you have been dealing with a narcissist, you need to start by being patient with yourself right now. it’s so hard to get out of these relationships, i am taking all the help i can from good friends and i have two therapists. i replied to his last friday afternoon texts saying ‘yes will have a lovely time, have fun with family and your laptop'(he works from home and i was off for a ramble and night at a spa hotel…not far from him and something i should be doing with him after all these years! god will never open the door for you for what you truly deserve until you close the door with the married man. once you have the baby, the grip this man has on your psyche will lessen. so if you can recover yourself or keep your balance during this period of time which means you don't have intimacy or getting addictive to the feeling of being closed to him. i am afraid i am starting to get clingy, but i try to just remember he already chose his priority..So i spent almost ten years to the day with a married man i thought i truly loved and wanted im sure ive got to be one of the biggest fools but im trying to forgive myself for that. several times during the relationship i asked him was he married because signs started telling me he was. i told him that i appreciated him stopping by and hoped thinges get easier. on our first date, the second day i knew him we slept together. i will see him in a few weeks at a competition that we are both part of, and i only hope my team destroys his, and maybe he will realize it’s not cool to leave a wake of broken hearts when he, like me, just needs to man up and fix or end his marriage..you seem so weak and i have been there severally,get a life of him,wean yourself off him gradually,meet people for lunch and other activities and gradually stop explaining yourself! kiss me out in public , go dancing with me, dinners, drive and show up to work together regularly. from my experience, my married man ended things with me twice and that feeling of being let go and abandoned is absolutely awful. i expected he would get my message to call me. getting emotionally attached to someone who’s still tied to a relationship – especially if they’re married…. since our previous encounter he had gotten married to,the same girl he was with then and,had a child. i had found out, he never forgot me and because of the dynamics dated many who had similar traits as i. my ex-married man, did the exact same thing to me after nearly 5 years. although i havent gotten strong enough to leave, i honestly feel that this forum will help me get through this part of my life…. i have been seeing my married man for over two years now as well and have talked to him every single day. i just want you to be open to the possibility that this man is not the man you thought he was and that’s the reason why he doesn’t care. dealing with married men while single might be harder coz those ‘lonely’ moments at night alone-the mental movies will start and you start overthinking, overanalysing……. i believe he married her, then turned her world upside down, just as he did mine. i contacted him (i was married, ready to file for divorce), we met and i told him i didn’t want to see him again because i needed to figure out my own life. but never ever ever underestimate the power of the mm (especially a narc) to try and play mind games to get you back! off to the supermarket we’d go to grab food for the next 2 evenings of ‘us’- we even have our own nickname which i’m sure many do! the sex was great or at least think so because i have been with the same man since i was 16…the passion was there which has not been in marriage for some time because it is hard to want to be with someone who is not nice to children. when he told her he wanted to get the divorce started she asked him to hold off as they shouldn’t make “rash decisions they might regret later”. i too have seen the fb posts from his wife and the comments about what a great guy he is and how wonderful they are together. one of your messages, you talked about getting revenge and hoping that one day he’ll want you the way you want him. i remember the beginning of my affair as one of the “best” moments romantically in my life.?You have bonded with him so it will take time to detox from him that is exactly what you must do you are young do not waste your youthful years with this man he will never leave because he will not leave the money he has built why should he get the best of both worlds! he lies and says he felt like he lost his right arm – not once did he try to get his right arm back or find out what had happened! i am though much better than those months when i was waiting for a text, getting panic attacks imagining him with her etc. it’s your hearts way of telling you that you are going to be ok and get through this. he still with his mistress when he had his relationship with me (if this true, he has 1 wife and 2 mistress – what an amazing man *crying*). he went for vocation with family this week in florida. i dressed up for this man like never before, bought lingerie, talked about interesting topics, followed politics, etc. you have to be truly sick of it all and desperate to get better…. the married man is always going to want to have his cake and eat it too as i long as he can find a gullible woman like me to enable his fantasies. i’m really praying to get pregnant again so i can just close this chapter and move on. all this while during nc i was on road to self rediscovery & trying to understand wat is that i miss abt this man or y did i indulge in an extramarital. i dressed up for this man like never before, bought lingerie, talked about interesting topics, followed politics, etc. once we leave our mm, it feels so hard because we are not getting much of an emotional connection with the husband either, but we have to look inwards at ourselves for validation and happiness and contentment. i’ve been having a affair with a married man for 7 years! she liked this guy at the pub, being a single mother didn’t get to go out that often (we live 200 miles from each other) but kept saying there’s this guy that kept turning up she liked. i laid against my husband while watching tv and even though my heart ached for my lover, i knew that my husband was mine; that i could hold him all night – unlike the stolen moments i get with my lover. however, i wouldn’t be where i am today without my many prayers to god being answered in little ways and i know one day with all the hard work i put into finally caring for myself, i will be given what i truly deserve in this life and that is a real true love all my own, even if it’s just from me to myself.. i wil fight the urge to stalk my married man and his wife on social networks. it’s a different world altogether, you and your baby. have had a relationship with my married man for 4 yrs and it just ended yesterday when he told me his wife is pregnant. everything i read says to cut off all communication with the married man in order to heal, but how do i do that when we have a child together? he says he doesn’t love her or she doesn’t understand him, but the truth is that he is committed to her because he wants to stay married to her. i know i wana get rid of it but scared to undergo the therapy, as well as worried abt the repercussions. are helping married men cheat on their wives…what if we were in the wives place…i most certainly would not be able to handle it…. i disappeared from my bridal party at the restaurant and we went into his car and down the street and he was all over me. finally after the last time we were together and he didn’t even acknowledge me the next day i told myself enough is enough. advice…please please – do not leave your husband for this disgusting old married man. maybe he is and maybe he isn’t, these married men don’t really let on how they feel about you. there is a world outside of the circle in which your love for your married man is holding you captive and the door is there for all of us to walk out. after he left, i heard nothing from him for two weeks but found out he had gotten married! have anyone else done some therapy to understand why you are dealing with a man that is unavailable and why it is hard to let go ? always knew being with a married man would be heartbreaking and i was right. affair with another woman’s husband is painful, yet you can’t let him go because you love him. i simply could not get out of bed for days and days. yes, they can play happy families and happy married couples – but the fact they had you ladies means there was something wrong in their marriages, something was missing there and you were providing them with what was missing. he started to demand, to know everything and cannot even go out without his permission. this point, i honestly can’t say whether this man truly loved me or not, but i can say without hesitation and doubt that i do love myself and i am getting stronger by the day. yes, i miss the married man but i miss the man i used to know. i discovered they were married shortly after he became my boss. depend on him for love and if you’re not married just trust in god and leave this man alone. i never wanted to be the other woman and i struggled for 4 years with this. your mm won’t cut ties as he is still using you mentally, just like my attached man. we both know the pain these man have caused, just as much as everyone on this thread, but the more people like you and i who are willing to come together and help each other, is the most empowering and rewarding thing we can ever do. never imagined i would ever be with a married man, but in a blink of an eye, 4 years later and i am left feeling so utterly lost and alone. he was openly affectionate to me, where another manager said something to him about it. when i am upset or need support and i am not all fun and laughs and romance, he treats me with silence. we deserve a man that that treasure us, not hiding us like dirty laundry.! i keep getting these cravings to see if hes online or not, but if he is, i only feel disheartened coz he doesnt ping me! today marks two weeks since i ended things with my married man and today is truly the worst day of my life. here is my rational…i am a lonely young woman, single parent of 2 beautiful children 14 & 11. also, google – narcissist abuse recovery books: pdf bundle – and you can get “when love is a lie” and “stop spinning, start breathing” by zari ballard (also downloadable pdf) for . he has manipulated (brainwashed) you into believing every single lie he’s told and it will only get worse with time. don’t forget how strong your live to your self is. also, if you want to ask a question, you’ll get the most truthful answers you’ve probably had in a long time. i read and informed his messages early on from the get go because i thought what could he possibly want with me?! he wasn’t less emotion with me and him but we have been together for almost 2 years off and on so how can you go from emotion to almost nothing? have gone back and forth to this man for so many times because i can’t stand the pain of being away from him. been seeing a married man off and on for about a yr, his wife has ms and has told him to find someone because she is unable to dothings he enjoys. if he’s on a dating site and married, that should be your first sign that he’s a creep. we’ve met up a few times, although nothing has happened between us – because he’s admitted he’s married. however, i do know that there is no way that i would ever get back with him, should he ever want to. he still with his mistress when he had his relationship with me (if this true, he has 1 wife and 2 mistress – what an amazing man *crying*). the longest he ever did on the phone with me and we were together for a year.. i was shocked wen i heard this but so blindfolded in love that i ignored the fact that if my husband really gets to know n decides to divorce me, i wil hav nowhere to go! 11 months ago i'm married, and i just started seeing a married man. it did nothing in my case, if anything it made them more determined to stay together. i often thought it was cute, like a romantic quest. despite knowing all of the terrible things i have learned about him, sometimes i get this wave of intense love for him when i remember how i once felt and who i believed him to be. article as well as all your comments have made me decide to once and for all end my relationship with a married man. not shared my feelings with him and only weeks earlier i knew i was in love with this man. but i try to tell myself that what he gets up to with his wife is no longer my business. anyway, you will be blown away by what you learn about your married man and yourself.’ve bought the caravan he and i were looking at buying, they got a new dog, she’s posting on his business page about their romantic trip to paris. thats y i say, the only way out of the mess is not to get into the mess itself! the man accepts it, because he has to, he doesn’t have a choice, unless he leaves, but that is almost impossible by this point in your life. they stay married because they have built a life together and it would totally be a mess if they split up. it has been 4 months for me, and i just slowly get my life and self back, but some days and happy and others not, it is exactly that. leaving and getting your life back will be the best decision you can make. some day’s i feel so disgusted that i allowed myself to get into this situation. that i will miss him (just like many of u), but this is not a sign of true love. never imagined i would ever be with a married man, but in a blink of an eye, 4 years later and i am left feeling so utterly lost and alone. still, despite my horror at my own behavior, it was a tough day to tell him that i wanted to stop seeing him (woo, a few coffee dates a week and one mediocre overnight where he snored and sweated all night while i lay there wanting to get the hell out) and i cried spontaneously a few times, but then, it stopped. many woman have said if he lie/cheat on his wife he will do the same to you. if i only knew at the beginning that falling for this man was going to turn my world upside down! i have a strong connection with my man and don’t know how to give up my best friend. married man is lonely and feels rejected at some level, how can you not? as much as i’m baffled with my attached man (i’m ‘forever waiting’, please excuse my spelling and general errors, its so hard to type on a mobile! anybody ever thought maybe the reason why these married men become distant is because they’re seeing other women? the catch is, if he reaches out to you, he knows that you are demanding more -and he doesn’t want to give you more. i know this is a horrible thing that i have done and i feel guilty all the time but right now i’m glad i ended this affair with a married man and i’m just trying to gather courage to stay on this path.. i had so much proof and his wife and i had spoken many times. when he realized i was no longer playing by his set of rules (manipulations), he discarded me out of the blue. you, like most women, want a family of your own, but because you are with him instead of a single man you cannot have a family with him. unfortunately, for many of us, it’s not as easy to do. i have been involved with a married man for a little over 4 years now and am married myself. it all started when we found each other on a site for married people looking for attention. i hope you get the help you need, you need to talk to someone. if i have learned anything it is never to get involved with a married person, no matter how deep or strong your love is. they have one son together and he is in his 20’s. i always made fun of women who dated a married men. then about 6months ago he got into this argument with his wife (quite a big one) and they have not been sleeping together or normal together for 6 months. i used to workout regularly, meditate in the morning, give my undivided attention to friends/family when we’re together. 11 months ago i'm in love with a married man he doesn't lie to me. the catch is, if he reaches out to you, he knows that you are demanding more -and he doesn’t want to give you more. i was married for 12 years and have been divorced for 13. if i fell asleep before saying good night, i’d get the cold shoulder. here is his response to you:Yes, most married men who maintain long term affairs are narcissists. i miss him but when i break down what i actually miss realize i don’t miss the long silences, always so scared that he will leave, actively searching for interesting topics of discussion, being ignored, tiptoeing around him, begging him to tell me he loves me…i realise that i always had a permanent pain in my stomach…. i tried to get stronger each day, and felt refreshed and proud of myself, i felt sad a few times but was too angry things had come to this after 3..I saw a video my married man shared on instagram, he was at concert. ive worn out and let the sadness go in, i accept the fact that im abandoned by my married man and i just live another day..Start reading dating a married man: memoirs from the "other women" on your kindle in under a minute. it’s been over a month since my married man decided to cut contacts with me. i’ve tried to break it off with my married man. unfortunately, mm can’t give a woman everything she needs emotionally . now he knows i’m still hurting, which he probably gets an ego boost from. have been seeing my married man for three years now. i no longer care if they argue or not, make love or not, celebrate valentine’s day together or not because he is showing me clearly he is a good liar. i know this is no life for me… i sit around waiting for him… we can’t go out together for a meal or movies… incase we get seen. he told me he felt the same way the entire time we were together. he was supposed to come over so many times so that we can talk and he could tell me his plans and what’s going on but each time, he delays and delays and ends up cancelling which kills me. i had the exact same breakup convo with my married man. we dont see each other much maybe once or twice a month do to him being over an hour away and finding time to get here is “hard”. the previous night he told me how much he loved me, how i was the only one who could ever love him the way he wanted, needed and desired to be loved, and how much he couldn’t wait to live our life of love together “for all eternity”.. i feel if we love each other thn we shud b together n not cheat on our spouses. this is why i think these damn affairs are so hard to get up and leave! it’s so hard because my man is truly my best friend. good outcomes have been my friends dad fell in love 20 years ago, was an affair but he left her mum when she turned 18 and married to his ‘soulmate’ (they are a wonderful couple and my friend loves her dads wife to bits) for 20 yrs, they are still as close as ever. i just don’t know what to do, so i’m hoping i just get pregnant again and my hormones help reset my life. that is as much as i want to forget everything and this pain to be gone, i’m also at the same time afraid that things to fade away. my married man of 3 years used to say the same to me! i’m waiting until i feel the time is right to tell them what i’ve been doing… or perhaps one day one of these men will catch me with the other man and the problem will sort itself out. i am sorry to read so many women are still going through this on top of the new ones being sucked into it daily. if that is the case then why is he constantly texting her when we are together? 12 months ago i have been having an affair with a married man a little over a year now. we dont see each other much maybe once or twice a month do to him being over an hour away and finding time to get here is “hard”. this man is not worth my time and yet here i am missing and wanting him.. my ex married man left his work like 2 yrs ago cause he didnt want to continue there and my dum quite the job too. through as many as you can and make note of the narcissist website sharon has mentioned, seems you’re already dealing with one! i deserve some time alone to repent for being with another womans husband like he belonged to me. he married his wife because she was from a rich family, same religion, state, everything. the married man ended it…im okay with the decision…i was about to end also…. i couldn’t go on vacations, couldn’t go to any gatherings or birthday parties because, “i’d look like a single woman”. thr wer talks abt him havn an affair with another woman at out workplace, but he assured me that it was false n i believed him, but now i think it might b true!’ve been visiting this site almost every day while i was in a relationship with my married man.’m on this site because a couple months ago, i got involved with a different married man (yea, real bright). there was a picture of him with her wife wrote the power of married man is smile of the lady beside him. trying to discourage him i told him a single woman only dates a wealthy married man for one reason. been together for 23 years but married 17 years…we live in the same building…half of my neighbor knows he cheats for years…why she stay is the million question. he will talk to me while he is in the bathroom if he has to and who knows how many ladies he have this relationship with. once you have the baby, the grip this man has on your psyche will lessen. the harder it’ll be to break up with this married man and heal your broken heart. my whole world started revolving around him, i would end up taking time off work just to be with him during the weekdays and surviving on only 2-3 hours of sleep just to ensure we get to spend the maximum amount of time with each other and then one day he mentioned that him and his wife are going for the ivf procedure. i was with him most weeks monday to friday at work, like how we first started. my married man did the exact thing to me in the end. with all the technology out there, i am in my 50s, and can’t call the man who i write to everyday, and am in love with? i think it is a brilliant idea to get pregnant again, i feel it’s one of the best ways to get over a married man. and then last night – i was out with friends and the married guy showed up. we have worked together for 18 and driven to and from work for at least 10 years.’ve been with my married man for a little over two years. i had said the same things to him so many times, that it was almost starting to lose its meaning. the connections we had with the married men were about “need fulfillment” and “holes” we all have in our lives and trying to fill these holes, but it is not about real “love”. we had this shared blog, and i wrote him so many times, i sent him offline messages. it is not about the married man after all; it is about me and my choices and my lack of self care! i wanted to text him so many times before and never did but yesterday i was weak. is hard but you can get through this, i promise. of course it led to more and eventually us meeting up and sleeping together. we both know the pain these man have caused, just as much as everyone on this thread, but the more people like you and i who are willing to come together and help each other, is the most empowering and rewarding thing we can ever do. what i find so difficult to wrap my mind around is how absolutely these men can turn their backs on you, however caring they may have been when you were together. truth i need his money too he spoils me , his young as of now we are back together but imnot the lovely woman i used to be his the one who first communicates then i reply. do something else tomorrow, anything fun, cancel the married man! i believe she fell for a charming man, who made her feel like the greatest woman on this earth, just like he did me. the longer you keep cheating with another woman’s husband, the worse and more degraded you will feel…. he told me he was married and they were having a baby due december 2015. more than that i’m always scared that if my boyfriend gets to know about this, he might break up with me. i no longer know how to relate to him because the confirmation that he’s married has changed how i look at him now…reality does really hit hard and it’s made me go back in my mind and disbelieve many things he said to you that may not have been genuine. love a married man just like chasing a shadow u can never actually own it. told him monday not to say he loves me or cares since he didn’t check on me all weekend and monday morning i get a , how are you kid, asking how i’m handling chemo. it may get worse before it gets better…but it will get better. these stories and felt obliged to message,as i’m typing tears fill my eyes,been involved with a married man for only 2 months but i fell hard ,fell strong, wish i could turn bk the hands of time an be in control of this situation but unfortunately it’s not the case,i love him…. i hope to get a response so i can get through this. i was ok being alone and taking care of my children as a single parent (atleast i thought i was) my married man fills a void and truth be told i genuinely enjoy him…most days! he wil trap more girls like me & dump them also wen they get into melodrama & all. the younger guy i’ve had a few dates with said you’re stunning and can have anyone you want, but it doesn’t stop me from choosing the wrong guys (abusive, physically and mentally…use me for money etc and get me into debt! i read my married man’s love horoscope everyday wondering how he’s getting along with his wife or whether he had another woman when he had me. i like many, never…ever thought i would be with a mm because like others i detested women who could do that. ladies…one of good friends whom recently got married told me she wasn’t sure of what to say to me about my married man situation. a few weeks after this happened, another married man (let’s call him fred) came to me (i don’t know what the hell it is that i do that attracts married men and i wish i did so i would stop doing it! yeah, brain gets so addictive to those “happy” chemicals with a married man, that we become hooked very quickly. i can’t figure out how i let myself get into this situation but i need to figure out how to get out of it. we fell in love, we are alike in so many ways. i spoke to my married man after 10 days of no contact. been dating a married man to my full knowledge for a few months now. i was obesessed and almost crazy during the months that passed, chasing him, nagging and demanding answers and explanations from him, acting out. we are staying together for long we keep fighting a lot for some or the other reason, earlier the reason used to be my doubts. he would get away often, we would have coffee or just talk and holds hands. you need to talk it out, and to talk it out many many times. i’m still seeing my man, but i don’t feel like i’m being his doormat anymore. hes not a one woman man for sure n this he himself told me, which makes me think if i really should be mad at his wife!?And he wanted me to get pregnant for him but i said no.” i have a feeling many of these men are hiding in what they call “unhappy marriages”..you seem so weak and i have been there severely, get a life without this married man, wean yourself off him gradually meet people for lunch and other activities and gradually stop explaining yourself!. and i am young, recently married to my childhood sweetheart. to reply to you,i am in the same situation only difference is that i am married too. i was vulnerable because i had not gotten over my divorce and jumped straight into this toxic relationship with my married man. 10 months ago im single mom and i dated married men who work in same place with me for three years. it’s been a week since i broke it off with my married man of two years. i already feel better just getting off my chest and it’s nice to hear other stories and know i am not alone in what i feel. on our first date, the second day i knew him we slept together. affair with another woman's husband is painful, yet you can't let him go because you love him. i have been in his world longer than she, they have no children together and he’s on his 3rd marriage. he is with a cold, aloof wife, with no children together. i promise you, you’ll begin to get reacquainted with the woman you have been missing for so long. lost my love when i was 63 after 2 1/2 year intense emotional affair with a married man. i am dating a married man and when i am asked if i am seeing anyone, i say no, he gets angry. i guess he does this all the time and gets what he wants for a few months and move on to the next victim. the woman says she is not interested in sex anymore. it is not that difficult to sweep a woman off her feet, men are smart and know that very well. at the time he didn't mention being married and pursued me relentlessly. so he claims that he can’t see my friend anymore and is moving in with this woman so his ex can’t use the affair attack (i did explain its rubbish and the courts would not be interested in the affair and who is seeing who). thus, if you are with a man who cheats on his wife for years, he is abusing his wife and thus he is disordered in some way. you are married and hes not about to make you his second wife. i know i will never get involved with a married man again and i know what i deserve now. they aint married officially but they stay together when i confronted him he denied every thing he told me its me he loves me & stays with nobody. other problem his denied ever staying with any one i found out from outside sources they had ever gone to court twice with the mum of kids but the court usually gives the custody to th mum of the twins so since this guy cant let his kids be taken they end up getting back together the twins r 6 n they have a 1yr . i read a psychiatrist’s article that said unlike women, men can easily have sex without gettin emotional or havin any sort of feelings for the other person. i’m struggling with this as well but i’m grateful for this platform where women can come together and support one another. my biggest problem is that i love him and am just hoping that he gets the balls to leave. my advice get lost in a good book, fall in love with yourself again, do girls night out! if a man really loved you, would he put you through this? he says i don’t know when to stop texting and i expect to much from him but since he’s married he can’t give me what he would if he wasn’t. he says all the right things we have so much fun when we’re together and the intimacy is off the charts amazing. years ago and like you, then and now, my work suffers, i get ill, and now i don’t see the am and don’t know what to say to him anymore as i feel incredibly used (see my initial post ‘forever waiting’ and many replies to people) i’m exhausted from the mental and sometimes physical impact. still i did not get attached but we kept seeing each other and of course eventually we both got deeply involved and fell in love – physically, mentally and even more so spiritually. i am so thankful i came across this page on how to break up with a married man, i relate to every single one of you and you have given me so much, saved me., it literally kills you they will manage to live without you even after to have done so much for them. kim, i guarantee you now is the time to end things because trying to get out later (you will want out eventually) will be the most heart wrenching, heart breaking, mind numbing, traumatic experience you may have ever had in your life. ive been on the other side too – reality – with a different relationship of 3 years, where we lived together and the romance ends quicker when you dont retire to your separate homes at the end of the day. here, you’ll learn how to break up with a married man – and even more importantly, you’ll discover ways to let go of someone you love. my married man, he is married to the one he loves, spending time with her, having a baby with her, building a life with her, everything is smooth. then he got married and i was so upset but he still loved me a lot and tried to maintain the relationship and we loved each other even more. once i again i apologized for my distance and he said no worries…life is too short to get wrapped in emotions., before you start repeating what i said, get your wording straight. too, like all of you am involved with a married man. when we reconnected he was 35, in an unhappy marriage of 2 years (no kids) and i was also married at 31, with one 4 year old child. i’ve read so many different stories and everyone is right. can assure you that you will better for every day that you succeed to get by. his wife studies abroad and they have never really lived together for more than a month. had emotional affair with a married man for 10 months now. can’t speak for you natalia, but i wrote a very long letter to my married man as i wanted him to understand how painful my position was and how it was tearing me apart. no way am i the cheating type but my ex sent me crazy, and when i met the am, i knoew he was ‘the one’ and we just got on so well (worked together), 6 months later we’re in an affair. give an example, he one time questioned his wife if she was “seeing” anyone else after he found a message from another man on her phone. have only one friend that i can talk to but she doesn’t advise me to get out of the situation. do something else tomorrow, anything fun, cancel the married man! he humiliated her, demeaned her and ridiculed her for years before i became entangled in his fantasy life. so u could get a little peace with your wife. i know it’s hard for some to believe their married man is the one, but that’ll change with time. the bottom line is you’re being abused (emotionally brainwashed and manipulated) and so is she. he told me he had cheated on her the entire 15 years together. and gosh how bad do i think all of us should get together for a week, let it all out of the rage, pain, disappointment and then look forward to life. i don’t get jealous, i don’t play games. matter what he says about his marriage, his wife, and his kids – remember that you’re only getting his perspective. kim, i guarantee you now is the time to end things because trying to get out later (you will want out eventually) will be the most heart wrenching, heart breaking, mind numbing, traumatic experience you may have ever had in your life. carla, if you see messages from him saying he loves her, and if you see lovey photos on fb the red flags are all there that your man is a good liar! these are cowards , if they truly don’t or can’t leave their wives get a prostitute and quite ruining good decent emotional woman’s lives. dated a married guy for 9years…with him promising me marriage etc. many of us have tried many times to break things off and don’t succeed at first, second, 3rd, 4th or even 5th time tries and the reason is because there’s an addiction that has to be broken through education and extreme help (therapy and prayers). i have been busy more and more but could not do no contact well today was ulta sound day and all is fine (he was worried it would not take) i have decided i need to be strong i deserve more them last min get togethers. with my married man almost a year and a half. i can get better but truth i know the process wont be easy. the website i gave you will tell you many times over and over again, what going back to him will do for you and for him. just found this site on friday night and it was like someone threw me a life preserver when i saw it! i felt like, he should’ve shown his appreciation for me making time to watch him play (i probably sound ridiculous but oh well) his wife never comes to a game never!. ladies, plz plz plz tell me how do i end things with my married man? my mm was all the good qualities you can hope for in a man multiplied by a million. things were getting complicated and i was wondering how the heck i would get myself out of this.’s been a few days since i left a post and i really thought the dynamic with my married man had changed. broke up with my married man of a bit more than 2 years. he lied to you in the beginning about whether or not he was married, you should seriously consider whether or not you can trust him. i never realised that having an affair with a married man can be such a similar experience, whatever the circumstances and whoever may be involved. you must love him, otherwise you wouldn’t be sleeping with him because you know he’s another woman’s husband. last night i put my goodbye note together and sent it. going no contact is a great idea but we all handle things differently, so for me throwing breadcrumbs and hearing back, even 2 words once a day is helping me whilst i get my head straight(well, as straight as possible…i’m in utter shock at the moment it’s come to this and i realise he is a manipulative liar). i say well have a good rest of the day and week and weekend and message me if you get to missing me and just want to talk. yes, we get back together but not all of me…if that makes any sense. my husband is 10 times the man he’ll ever be and i’m just the idiot that that has took my husband for granted the past two years. i couldn’t call him when i wanted to, i saw him once or twice a week based on his schedule, we couldn’t go out in public together, he never met my friends and family, etc. any case i love him and i know he loves me yet he finds fault with everything and im not sure if it is because it gives him reason not to leave his wife…his wife found some stuff out and he asked me to call his wife one time and tell her that he keeps calling me and that he just called me–he wanted me to do that while he was sitting with her so that she would think i was a liar and crazy and that would get him off scott free and no have her think he is seeing me and then we would be able to still see eachother. i have been seeing a married man for about 10 years. 17 months ago i think am inlove with a married man. they’d rather keep on manipulating and circumventing the situation that’s working for them. he just told me that he found out today that he will be going home (he’s from out of state) and when he returns after 20 days he will be staying elsewhere, i couldn’t believe how much this hurt me, i found out about his being married a week ago and thought i had just accepted that he was a no-go but figured that i would leave him on my own timeline, this sucks! after that i got rid of the music cd’s he gave me and little by little started deleting all pictures and videos i had of him, all that led me to pawning the necklaces he gave me (i should get something for them. been in an affair with a married man for 2 and half years. i always took pride in my relationship because my husband is an awesome man. i will never let myself be any man’s doormat again. this is the best time to get over your mm. he tells me this and that about his marriage and i try not to get inside of it because it is not my situation to give my opinion. everyone… after searching google, i came across this site on how to break up with a married man and started to read everyones comments.

How to manage dating a married man

this is first with a married man but i also had to overcome many breakups before, and when i look back, they have all gone into the past. when we are older and married, we are bound to that relationship legally and everything we have worked so hard for our entire life can go poof, or we lose half of it…so we stay and numb ourselves into believing this is the way it will be. the wife is very strong willed, thinks a lot of herself and extremely manipulative. the man i loved for a year who i comforted is nowhere around to hold me when i need him. october 2014 i started having an affair with a man who is basically married (living with his long-term partner).) i tried so many times to cut off with him, so many times i told him its over n we wud spend days without being in contact, but i realized that i m stuck in a swamp, the more i try to get out of it, the more i sink deep inside! so many times i tried to make my married man feel jealous by telling him how me and my husband had a romantic night but he was totally unperturbed, whereas i couldn’t tolerate that he goes close to his wife even for a day! u imagine this from a man who is cheating at the moment? have been together for 4 month and then i cut it, now one and half months have passed from my break up with the married man. i had to get out and make my own closure, and leave the poor deluded wife to her own resources. affection is less as normal home and life stuff gets in the way, your time is spread out so it’s not always intense and fun. i asked him about it and he said that it’s because he gets very occupied as his line of work can be very demanding at times. (and men in our position going through the same thing – applies to both, i’m certainly no man hater, funny enough i’ve very close male friends who i totally respect and are like brothers to me and i mostly work with men who are wonderful, it’s a handful of men and women that ruin things) so…. i'd like to tell my story and get some feedback. of course he had no idea that i had been seeing a married man. love yourself and you will learn and understand that you’re more than a man who wants you because he’s not confident enough or man enough because of his problems since childhood. in my past, the men who wanted me, searched for me, came back to me, sent me flowers, went to great lengths to get me back., what you say is so true in that every time you break up and get back together, a part of you doesn’t. still nothing, he keeps getting letters from her lawyer and he still refuses to sign them! she hooks on to him(fucking him with her gf while he is still married to wife #1. he has been married for 8 years but no children, every time he mentioned about his wife he was sad and always portrayed that there was nothing between them. every time i think of him now, i think of how happy they are together. if even a smidgen of it was real and true and heaven sent, a man who’s sincerely in love with you would’ve never allowed you to be put in a position where you’re having to wait for him to leave another woman. i enjoy the companionship, the sex, the butterflies and romance. i can so relate to what you wrote about chasing your married man and demanding answers, hoping to jog his conscience into recognizing how badly he is behaving to another living breathing human being who he actually claimed to love.. these are not the actions of a man that cares, he holds on for someone to lean on, but at this very moment he is happily at home with his daughters and partners, and will never ever admit it. things were getting complicated and i was wondering how the heck i would get myself out of this. and your purpose is definitely not to satisfy some man who isn’t willing to change his life for you right now, no questions asked. i plan on reading hgs book on getting rid of the narcissist from your life. married men develop a staggering degree of detachment to you and your pain, and they do not budge from their comfort zone to give you even a smidgeon of relief. every man i meet i compare to him and i am not happy. from a woman hurt and deceived by a 60 year old married man. i’m 40 and have been with this 46 year old married man for 2 1/2 years. holidays, birthdays, weekends alone… no dinners, holding hands in the street, taking vacations together, movie nights and sleepovers.! how did u get the strength to handle it for 10 years? it hurts me because when thinking back, i reckon he’s never chosen me from the beginning, he could have a chance but he got married anyway and what he always said to me is he was sorry he couldn’t be with me 100% of his time, that he was not 100% mine although he loved me with all his hurt. he will just continue to do this until he either gets caught or she leaves him. don’t get me wrong, as beautiful and as loving as it was, it was still filled with lies, trips with his wife, and extensions on “his” deadlines. he even planned a trip for us and told me he would leave his family so we can be together. in march, i met a man or so i thought. don’t take his texts seriously, he isn’t even giving you the basics of trust, care and respect, forget above love.’ve been involved with a married man for almost 10 months. hate myself so much for getting involved with a married man…i feel like i cant let him go…idk y…smh…he and his wife paint such a pretty picture of there lives on social media…makes me always wonder why he cheats the way he does…i also wonder does she have a clue?.learnt later he was married with a 2 years old, but we fell in love and i never let go. if ur married man really luv u and wants to b with u. married man texted me right away after we met and we texted everyday since. i am a size 16 and beautiful but i am literally the complete opposite of this woman. i have never met a prouder man in my life. i said to liz above, it will take a long time (if ever) before he leaves your mind, but if you can just come to terms with the fact that he is not who he said he was, you will only get stronger and stronger. in love with a married man right now, but your advice on how to break up gives me power and makes me strong to say it’s over now. we’re both married and i find it’s harder to break up with him coz we’ve been living together for 3 years now abroad. lastly, something i realized in myself and many of the ladies on here is that we miss our married men even more because of what they have now. feel so horrible to let the married man come to my life and tell me all those thing that i can’t even be sure if was truth or lies. that’s why these married men bolt so quickly imho. u r a source of inspiration for many of us who r scared to breakup coz of the after effects. i have been seeing a married man for 9 months and no one knows. this is the second time i reconnected with my married man, the first was 35 years ago. changed my job and he said it won’t change anything between us but no more communication, nothing i could meet him maybe every two months for an hour,He made an excuse that he’s busy all the time and i was the one always understanding, till almost one month ago we had a plan to meet each other but he said he has something to do and try to manage time to be with me also, anyway it didn’t happened again and i was upset this time when he asked i said i canceled my medical appointment because i wanted to be with you and then he stopped talking to me! i will never forget how devastated i was after i was discarded so abruptly. all in all, im dating someone new and moving very slow with this amazong new man. like most of you, i too was having an affair with a married man. i am pretty sure you do not love that married man, it’s because you have a void deep inside of you for romance/intimacy and this married man just filling this void at this point, therefore, the connection with is like an addiction., i try to hate him more each day & only think abt the times wen i was alone n he was havin a nice romantic night with his wife! deep inside i know it is not right and i dont want to really hurt another woman the same way i have been hurt. i am only getting the crumbs of his love and emotion. he’s capable of manipulating me in the best possible way and every single time i fall for his manipulation. four years of seeing my married man we stopped talking in the first week of july. takes strength and courage to let go – but you can learn how to get over a married man! now i am mourning the end of my marriage and a bad breakup all while working with this man who is now going on a family vacation 🙁. this man did not have the guts to marry the girl he says he loved. i know it helps to have someone to talk to who gets it.?And he wanted me to get pregnant for him but i said no., these men are all the same and use the same tools to manipulate and make us fall in love. because he could not muster the courage to do the right thing until now, he let me down so many times that i did not have much hope anymore.. i have been seeing this married man for 2 years now, i am also married with two kids and a very good husband. i am though much better than those months when i was waiting for a text, getting panic attacks imagining him with her etc. dont know how to get the strength to talk to him, if he gets back in touch. would you have stayed the other woman for the rest of your life, not having any real life of your own, while he would have ? we had our relationship going for round 12 months, 1 month together, the rest long distance. part of me is so angry that he can get away with this, but other part of me has realized how broken and selfish i was to have even fallen into this situation in the first place. i do not want any strong beautiful amazing woman to go through i have or them and anyone else in our position. i didn’t even get a reply frn him wen i told him this is my last msg n m deleting ur no. it was obvious then that i was holding out because i was in love with a married man, which is against everything i was taught growing up. am so mad… found out (through some social media investigations) that my married man dated a young 23 year old for 7 years until she was 30. unfortunately, for many of us, it’s not as easy to do. he used to call me babe or baby all the time and now he says he’s not going to because he feels like i’ll get to attached! in the end the other woman gets hurt,sad and feeling isolated. many people think it doesn’t just happen but it does. be 21 this year 2016 i met my married man when i was 17 he is now 29. i pray everyday that god brings me someone who loves me enough to put me first, because god knows, i put the man i love first. look at us all, all of us in the same pain, they rarely chose the other woman. felt the same with my guy but i even met him when i was married! he told me that their relationship was built on business and making money together., i has been trying to go and get to know more guys. i can guarantee you right now they are making plans on how the family will come together long term. was from another country, he told me he was getting divorced. i have been noticing all of his lies, his manipulations and his disappearing acts on weekends, holidays and leave. he made so many promises and set so many dates of when this would take place and when that would take place. was already jaded about married men on site because i met a guy i went on a date on and the next day, he refused to give me his last name. i never wanted to be the other woman and i struggled for 4 years with this. i have been seeing a married man for about 10 years. what a dream after being tangled up in a pointless love triangle for so many years. ve stopped all this i want to make it that im so so busy when he complains why ive stopped contacting him first i will be like sorry ive been busy like that may be he will get tired of trying to be with me and he will let go himself . suddenly, having to deal with his less-than-mediocre married life has become less bearable than having to deal with a whiney side object.’ve been with a married man for the past 5 years. not destroy your life and waste your most valuable years on this married man. he never promised anything, told me that before he met me never considered getting a divorce, he was used to be in this unhappy life and when he met me, he starting thinking of it, and now he thinks everyday. i knew upfront they were together, i know nothing will come out of the relationship and had no expectations around that, but i can’t seem to give him up. i am an attractive and successful single woman but this behavior of mine is very self-destructive and only i can fix this part. was from another country, he told me he was getting divorced. me to elaborate on the ‘trying to get pregnant’ bit. your marriage ended and now you are in a dead end relationship with your married man. other problem his denied ever staying with any one i found out from outside sources they had ever gone to court twice with the mum of kids but the court usually gives the custody to th mum of the twins so since this guy cant let his kids be taken they end up getting back together the twins r 6 n they have a aon 1yr . unfortunately, after our marriage, he reverted to cheating but for many years, he behaved and gave me what i wanted. i’m going through the breakup process with this married man again because enough is enough. married man used to say he loves me so much but can’t get devours for crap reasons. did i realise i was about to fall in love with this man and him me. i have gone through the same thing with my married man. i haven’t talked to mine since friday which he got upset at me cause i texted him but was with his wife and he just ignored me and later ok i said what is your problem? the married man that if he doesn’t leave you alone, you’ll tell his wife! now i’m physically in agony, mourning the future i so wanted with him, hating myself for loving someone else’s husband and wondering if i’ll ever get over this. just commented earlier bc i’m in this hell of a roller coaster ride as well and totally feel like i can offer empathy and get some support on this one. i know how every one of you feel when you are in love with someone who is in a relationship/married, and you don’t know how to escape it because the love you feel for them is just too strong. i finally ended it for real, i had broke it off with him so many times but this time it’s real. i found out that if a man really wants to be with me then they would move mountains. i think i’m searching for something and the answer lies with me and not in a man whether he is available or unavailable. you can never really know a married person until they are free and clear of their marriage. shortly after getting engaged i received a letter from the married man. it is extremely difficult to remove yourself from the married man especially when the 2 of you love each other. my married man of 3 years used to say the same to me!. he is a best friend of a family member of mine and he is married with a baby, i on the other hand should know better as am six years older than him, and have teens and am single, my choice split from the kids dad a year and half ago, never the right relationship for either of us. i’m trying to tell myself to get the strength to end it. 10 months ago i met a man online last year and we became good friends, or so i thought. i am no longer that happy, vivacious and innocent young woman he met. when i get emotional and upset, he always told me: look at the big picture. dec 30, 2015 was our last passionate moment…his wife found out we were together, he told her everything. no man that truly loved you would put you through this — never. i am also confident in the fact that the day i come across a good man, i will appreciate him. phony relationship with married man also ended a week ago but we mutually agreed to move on and set each other free. i’m a shadow of my former self always feeling so low … any advice on how to get through this how to see the bigger picture ? after the first 3-4 weeks, i started by getting rid of (meaning throwing them away with the dog crap) his toothbrush and hairbrush (i kept the hairspray :), a week or so later i got rid of all his t-shirts and pajama bottoms. i feel played but i just wanted to let her know what he husband gets up to. you can never really know a married person until they are free and clear of their marriage. i posted just enough to get out what i was feeling but heres my story: my grandparents live next door to married mans parents. i took him back… i missed him and i allowed his words to get to me. here is my rational…i am a lonely young woman, single parent of 2 beautiful children 14 & 11. he hasn’t said much to me since we got together on monday except casual good morning, etc. he says all the right things we have so much fun when we’re together and the intimacy is off the charts amazing. does it heal you and do the pregnancy hormones help in the forgetting process. crazy twisted thing is we used to be together 15 years ago for two years. i just want to get out of this before i get depressed that eventually its going to end. you imagine what it’s like to actually live with a manipulative liar that cheats so so easily? we have emotional holes in us and the married men have holes and we try to fill the holes with the affair. he turned against me, was manipulated by the wife he claims, moved out from our place and says he has been miserable and has regretted it since. for months i believed me and my married man would end up together and we would be happy but the more i read these comments it’s unrealistic and delusional. i have spent so many days with him, gave myself to him. 2 years ago i am not sure my story fits but in the end i am dating a married man. my story we worked together for 4 years, we always had much respect for each other, never cross each other the wrong way. find it comforting knowing many others are guilty of this. well, doesn’t look over to me when they spend 24/7 together! i know this is no life for me… i sit around waiting for him… we can’t go out together for a meal or movies… incase we get seen. so after i gave up all hopes of getting pregnant again, and was trying to accept that maybe this is the will of god, i started feeling unwell and and lo and behold, there was the positive pregnancy test. you start to realize that you as a woman want more, you need more affection, not just what he gives you when he can. you get a few perks: release endorphins (which make you feel great), you get to look at hot guys, and you eventually look even more amazing. my mm has cheated before he told me he was in love with the woman and she was married as well. get the control back and take care of number one, which is you. you need to look at taking care of yourself and your child with this man. married man is bad with technology so he was always complaining to his assistant that something in his office wasn’t working and she was tired of it, so i offered to fix his new problem and went to his office. holding on because yiu have a feeling his the one for you but on the other hand you feel he could be using you to make his family stronger im your situation kind of my guy never told me he stays with them mum of his kids when i found oit he totally denied but he never took the step to start staying with me he says he loves me he ignores it when i dump jim loke as though he dnt hear i said its over his so good and caring to me it’s hard to let him go but i dumped jim 2wks ago again i hope this time strong not to let him in again he keeps pleading that im all his got but these mem we cant really tell if thwu really love is or just string ing us along aa we waste more years hope we get the guts to let go for ever i will be proud of myself. i keep thinking “what if he changes his mind and can’t get in touch with me”. i didn’t eat, almost lost my job, had to get on medication, and attempted to end my life. i am 38 years old im married but my husband is gay thou he is in denying it to me all the time. i know i deserve all the heart ache i’m getting but it doesn’t seem fair he gets everything he wants when he was the married person. these tiny little moments of love that i get to see him are not what i deserve.) she helps him get divorced, deals with 3 kids and 2 baby mamas…and eventually married him.. these are not the actions of a man that cares, he holds on for someone to lean on, but at this very moment he is happily at home with his daughters and partners, and will never ever admit it. we worked very closely together and he was immediately drawn to me. man came to your life and treated you with cheating and lying. believe me, there were days (i counted over 2 weeks in total) in the past year, that i was so distraught and literally did not get out of bed, other than to use the washroom. when things got tough, when i made demands or needed explanations for poor behavior, they left and just moved on. i didn’t even tell the mm i had feelings for him, i just knew that if i felt so strongly, i could not get married! i could never look for this man in no one else because he is unique. stay strong and reach out to get some help and support! i did tell him i am deserving of a man of my own. you must love him, otherwise you wouldn’t be sleeping with him because you know he’s another woman’s husband. i love the part about breaking away from the man (although real men don’t treat ladies like this! thus, if you are with a man who cheats on his wife for years, he is abusing his wife and thus he is disordered in some way.!I made the mistake of talking to a married man. i don’t like the fact they are still married and i feel he still my be involved with her. and live and experience the pain and sadness, get it though, don’t put anything under the carpet. sometimes i wish i could get to know all of you women personally. too get nauseous wen i think about him n his wife! writing this to make sense out of the relationship i had with a married man to see if anyone agrees, or has also experienced, or thought the same way about this. don’t let this married man ruin that, and you still deserve the best just because of this bad decision., i have been seeing a married man for about 8 mths and now 2 mths pregnant. i never realised that having an affair with a married man can be such a similar experience, whatever the circumstances and whoever may be involved. got me here today, the last time we were together, it was like what he described to me, what it was like when he had sex with his wife. they will have a happy family, still play sweet heart with their wives, are still happy dads, they have everything while we lost it all: our pride, our dignity, our love, ourselves. i have a strong connection with my man and don’t know how to give up my best friend..hes quite elder to me, father of a kid & married for over 10 yrs now. i know the best thing is for us to not be together cause when we’re not in not wondering when i’ll talk to him again but it still makes me sad. i simply could not get out of bed for days and days. i suspected that he was trying to hit on me with his sudden friendly manners. and wife and kids never get short charged, however he may profess to hate her( and he does, always). i wish i could get him out of my life but it’s so hard…he said he will divorce his wife but he is still legally married to her till now…..we are so happy together except when something triggers a memory of teh reality of teh situation or when he gets jealous or somethng. they don’t leave…and you get to a point where you just can’t handle it anymore, and in fact, it almost sends you crazy. i am sorry to have loved a man who wasnt mine, or who will never be. seriously, where are the dinners, movies, weekend plans, brunches, vacations, sleeping in together, etc? then i met the married man by accident on my sidewalk. you may even see what his reaction is to the suggestion that he leave his wife, stop living a lie, and get serious with you. he also talked constantly about how he couldn’t wait to come home to me every night, and how “perfect” everything would be for us, once we could be together. last month my married man’s wife found a text from me. do i do it as he cabt seem to let me goo i know i will my owm man because at least im hard working though he helps out i laso make my own money. he knew i was getting to a place of being finished with the charade, and instead of me reaching the deadline i had set, he went out in typical narcissist fashion … giving me the silent treatment. back now, after 6 months of being away from the married narc (mn), i see clearly where he played mind games on me during the entire 4.) but he isn't getting my time, however little i have to do or however busy i become but can't stop thinking of him. he started getting jealous of me been with my boyfriend (he knew i had a boyfriend he was ok with it) he didn't wanted me to have sex with my bf. he didn’t love me and your married man doesn’t love you! orders over —or get free two-day shipping with amazon prime. we tried to put things on the table and he confessed that in his 10 years of marriage i am the only woman he has cheated with on of his wife and all he wants to do is to spoil me. i’m not going to get into the details of how i ended up loving someone who was married, because it’s not important at this point, but just know that i did not set out to be in this type of relationship. you all i pray god almighty give us the grace to move on with our lives and give us the man made for us amen., i don’t say this to give you “hope” that your married man will come back, i say it because, chances are he very well could at some point. i patched up with this man coz i dnt hav a choice! it may sound a bit harsh to many because most of us are oblivious to, or in denial of, what a narc is capable of. maybe you are not in love with your husband, but eventually, you would see the other man for who he is too. dont know how to get the strength to talk to him, if he gets back in touch. he went for vocation with family this week in florida. i am sure i am not the only woman he sees outside of his wife. forgave him since i had no evidence but what was strange is i never knew where he stays which shows that he stays with someone since then ive tried to break up with him like 5 times but i find myself letting him back in my life again when i breakup with him he tries to ask what the problem is his so caring all ive dreamt of but his someone else’s man.. towards beginning of our affair we both were ok with the fact that we are married and cant leave our families but we still want to b together. married man texted me right away after we met and we texted everyday since.’ve never felt more connected to a man then i do with him. he is with a cold, aloof wife, with no children together. in fact i think so many people hide in their marriages. he turned against me, was manipulated by the wife he claims, moved out from our place and says he has been miserable and has regretted it since. i have been involved with a married man for almost 9 years. many of us have gone through a form of ptsd because the addiction is so strong. ;d ) – this poor other woman in his life deserves better herself. aren’t proud of dating a married man, and you know it’s destroying your spirit and soul.!Talking about the horrible man am with, i broke up with him agn! four months doesn’t seem like a long time but we’ve spent at least 3 nights a week together (he travels for work) during that time, and are constantly in touch with each other. can relate, but my married man never hid me…his wife knows me, so do his kids…this is a toxic relationship. some days i could not get out of bed, felt physically ill, took days off of work, cried, and just slept. it took me 52 years to finally get it, but i promise you, the only reason i finally got it was by the grace of god leading me to “knowing the narcissist”.) and sometimes it takes a few attempts to get it right, but, please do not expect the married man to come running. it will be extremely overwhelming at first, but it will give you answers to questions you may find yourself asking, if you choose to stay with your married man. it heals farster if you are deliberate about getting better and desperate to end the nonsense and pain. the guy who will truly love you one day will make you feel like the best woman in the world, not make you lose yourself and cry harder than ever. i would like to say one more thing if, a married man, is so unhappy with his marriage, and tells you he loves you, its total lies, if hes so unhappy, and hes so in love with you he would leave, get real, its just plain sex, thats what they love, and if it wasn’t you it will be someone else, once a cheat always a cheat, girls dont lose any sleep, because they won’t over you . you must know just how much i told this man i loved him.? or just wait till i give birth cos for sure my baby will help me get this easier to get over with. a real man, in real love would not cause the kind of heartache and pain we have all felt. you think your situation is unique and that he’s different than other married men, but they’re not. that is not love, that is selfishness making sure they get the best of both worlds. it breaks my heart, but i need to get my freedom back and stop being at the mercy of his love, was there ever any. have gone back on my word , all the comments i have made, my married man has been in contact with me, he asked me if i would let him stay with me for the night, as his wife is away for a few, days, and haven’t had the chance to do this very often in the 5 years, so stupidity, i said yes, we arranged that he would come when she had rung him , which would have been about 11. i used to workout regularly, meditate in the morning, give my undivided attention to friends/family when we’re together. remember, i have been in this for nearly 5 years now and i am being so dead serious when i say get out now. it is hard, but seeing how there’s so many of us taking it one day at a time is such an amazing help. i got pregnant during our first year together and had a son. it’s been 11 days since i heard from him and the last email from that time said “thank you for being with me and being a sexy beautiful woman…” hate feeling like at this age i am being used…even though i thought i could handle it. was scared of dating, and he has gone ‘cold’ since, not in a horrible way, but he is a little confused as i’ve turned him down for 6 years, i feel like a besotted teenager and except for checking my phone still to see if the am has been online checking for messages from me – i’ve not given him one thought really as this young guy has captured my attention and heart. you’ll find several readers who are honest and strong enough to share what it’s like to date and break up with a man who is married. 3 weeks ago i have been dating a married man for about a year now. he’s still fucking baby mama 2 for years during all that…there are many more before i show up. i miss my married man so much it hurts, the worst pain ever, yet he can laugh and joke like we never existed – we go to the same gym. with all the technology out there, i am in my 50s, and can’t call the man who i write to everyday, and am in love with? it’s hard, very (ask me how i know…), but you will feel sooo much better after you get thru the nc suffering, some day you may even wonder how you were able to be attracted to that mm. get a lawyer, and steel yourself for some more heartache and a fight. in those 4 months, i was doing counseling with my husband, when he decided he didnt want to go to counseling anymore and got verbally and emotionally abusive, i ran back to this man. once, why can’t my heart and mind just work together? me if you get strong you can walk away easily without a pity party! ive worn out and let the sadness go in, i accept the fact that im abandoned by my married man and i just live another day. you sacrificed too much for him and forget about what is really important in your own life. but the reason i fell in love with him is going to be the reason we wont be together. both you and i and anyone else in a similar situation have to really look deeply at ourselves and what we need to become whole within ourselves but not necessarily through someone else married or not. it is so hard and painful to let go of the man i still believe to be my soulmate and the love of my life. i don’t deserve to be second or lower priority to a man. i have never admitted to be in love with my mm and i don’t think i am but my point is, don’t get involved with an mm, it changes you and not for the better. prayer for you is that you find the strength and courage you need to stop dating this married man, to stop being the other woman. i can’t get up today and i’m so sad…i can’t wrap my mind around the fact hat i’ll never have him again, and it’s hard to imagine that all the special moments we shared are now just memories. he told me he was married and has been honest with me. ladies, i am having so many mixed feelings right now. i am back with the married man again after one week nc. neglected to include, how physically sick walking on egg shells in my mind, when we weren’t together, knowing today, could be the day. in fact, she is dating a married guy who happens to be a friend of mine. my cousin had an affair with a guy who was much older and married for 20 years, 1 child, her teen twins…she fell pregnant and he still didn’t leave his wife…9 mths pregnant she sits outside his house in her car until he left for good…it worked. just before he met me he was already planning his amazing job overseas to look after his amazing kids and nothing was going to get in the way of that – so i don’t know why he ever bothered with me but i guess love is a complicated thing. they will go back to being unhappy and miserable while we get the chance to be set free. i just wish he would get exactly what he deserves. i know that sharon and many other women gave me much needed strength, and i am so grateful for that. why have you decided that aiming beneath the bar of common self-respect is better than saying no to a sexual relationship under the auspice of unattainable ‘romantic’ mirage? i hope that everyone on here is willing to at least read some of the articles that hg has written, and i’m sure they’ll see the similarities between their married men and a narcissist. i have to get over this and i have to find the strength to do so. i come on and read the stories every time i feel down about him, it makes me realize that there isn’t such thing as a loving, special or fairytale ending when you are involved with a married man. and it was because i’d be stressing, nervous about getting his, “are you still there” text. he said that he would have a child with me if we were together and things were going well. i am in love with a man that doesn’t love me.! he is 15 years my senior and he is still married! after all, our relationship didn’t start out by my looking for a married man and i wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes by getting involved with him. mean i lost my job, the man i think i love, my health,…. had an unusual relationship because we were working in another city together. how can married men do this so easily and we can’t? i think the way he talked about getting married was so nonchalant that i sort of didn’t believe him. had the best time, laughing, playing board games in the bar, he held my hand, i felt truly special, it didn’t matter we were out together.!I am completely heartbroken and devastated, what hurts also is i can’t share this with anyone on my life because it’s wrong dating a married man, no one would dare give me any comfort, for this is what i deserve; which brings me here. he has said that before that its hard on him to when we’re not “together”. he was my manager at work and due to the nature of the business he was in i had met and spoken to his wife and kids many times. i saw him and had a huge crush on him but found out he was married so i forgot all about him. i too feel worthless, guess i’m looking for love from a man who only loves me for sex. we’ve only been together a few times but i see the emotional drain it’s causing me. i was discarded out of the blue after being together nearly 5 years, and after he professed all his unending love for me the night before. maybe there is a chance that your married man isn’t a narcissist, but based on what we’ve all been through on here, i doubt it. it helps you take your power back from the get go and the road to recovery is less rocky than if you keep the back and forth. i sersly feel this man doesn’t deserv my love or attention. should i just start thinking and doing things as getting over him or really just sit and wait on him to text? all ladies who r thinking of breaking up with your married men, i think we have to do some pre-break up actions. so after i gave up all hopes of getting pregnant again, and was trying to accept that maybe this is the will of god, i started feeling unwell and and lo and behold, there was the positive pregnancy test. i need to break up with my married man but cant bring myself to do it. i am usually confident, and since i met him, i feel so unworthy that i am losing all my confidence and becoming needy, demanding, someone i never was. i told him not to do this to another woman, but i don’t think that matters to him. tried many times but still end up being normal again to him. recently ended things with my married man of 5 yrs, as well. like the other reviewer,karen, it gave me tremendous insight into the other woman and how pathetic and sad she truly was. the few of us who have read this website never, ever, wanted to believe this was who our married men were, hell sometimes i still find myself questioning if it’s true, but that’s only during my down times. so, in turn, his apologies were actually his way of manipulating me further. his wife already found out about us a year ago but somehow he was able to pacify her and convince that we’re not together anymore. many victims i’ve heard from move forward into healthier relationships and marriages that last the rest of their lifetimes. can’t my heart get the memo that my brain wrote? he was married, older, my boss and not my type. what other lies might he tell you once you are together? the moment you feel your married man is dicking you around, break up with them. from everything i have been reading (and thank you for sending the links because i am taking them to heart), i just can’t deny that he has too many similarities to one. i have been involved with a married man for a little over 4 years now and am married myself. so both these married men want 2 women in their lives. he wanted to leave her at this time i sat him down and said no way can you do that, she needs you to be the man she think you are and you need to be able to look in the mirror at the end of each day. if you are not getting what you need from your husband, re-evaluate what is wrong in your marriage causing you to seek emotional solace and support from someone else. he was having performance problems with her so i barely got it 1x/week for fear if she might want some he’d have to do it. as someone who is/also dated a married man with 2 kids i can totally relate.“you will find that when you see the blessing in the darkness, many other blessings will also come to light – new support, new dreams to be fulfilled, new ways to connect to your divine inner guidance and god-given worth. i read a psychiatrist’s article that said unlike women, men can easily have sex without gettin emotional or havin any sort of feelings for the other person. i have my ex-married man blocked, but sometimes unblock him so to see if he has is last online status shown. hope it helps you move forward in love and peace, and find a man who is available and willing to unite his life with yours. he always said he knew how unfair it was to ask this of me, but that he just needed time to get through his “process”, whatever the hell that meant. i am an intelligent, clever woman struggling with the fact that i have allowed myself to get in this situation. he was after something more sinister and wrong and he lured you into his fantasy just like all the other married men on this site. but, you have to remember that when you date married men, you will get hurt. i read somewhere that doing the same thing over and iover again and expecting different results is relationship insanity and we will keep getting the same message over and over from the universe until we learn from it what we need to. just broke up with a married man after 3 months and he was my business partner too. it did nothing in my case, if anything it made them more determined to stay together. please get as much support as you can, don’t engage with him. long story short……he’s had a child, i was forced to abort mine cause he said he didn’t want anymore, he got married, my marriage is still rocky and i’m stuck lonely sad depressed and wanting to be loved. had a good chatty week on and off but i get down on saturdays and my am didn’t even check his phone friday evening. i love him so much but last dec 26 we had a major fight which i told him i will talk to his wife ( thou i will not do that, just want to get equal because of all the nasty things he told me) he was very angry and shouted every hurtful words he can throw to me like don’t you dare, you don’t know the implications of what you just told me, this will be the last time that you can bother me etc etc. gets so upset when he finds out i’m away. we ended up spending more and more time together at work and after work, we would message all day every day and i fell in love with him and he fell in love back (or at least i assume he did when he was looking my straight in the eye telling me he’d loved me since i first started working there). i was in a 7 year long distance relationship with a married man and 7 years ago i broke it off. for me anyway, i feel desperate sometimes but have to remind myself that no matter how great it felt when we were together that i’m better off without him and the lies. i am only two weeks post breakup, still grieving, and unlike many, we did exchange a few emails back and forth, because for me, cold turkey was not the way to my healing and i have known this person for over thirty five years, always felt a strong soul connection and friendship foundation. your logical mind tells you the right thing, you need to end it to save yourself, such relationships unfortunately damage woman’s self esteem, slowly killing the sense of self worth. i told my married man that i wanted to be there and he got mad. when i talk to him sometimes his reasoning makes sense although it is always me that gets name called or bullied. we have set dates to stop and she even tried breaking up with me………but we just end back up together.!Renee - carolina 9 months ago i was in a 15 year relationship with a man and we have four children together he wanted an out do he left us . sinclair 16 months ago my married man advertised himself as separated on a dating website. he told me he was married from the beginning but they had problems. i will see him in a few weeks at a competition that we are both part of, and i only hope my team destroys his, and maybe he will realize it’s not cool to leave a wake of broken hearts when he, like me, just needs to man up and fix or end his marriage. he’s been married to her for 30 years and we been doing this for 7 years. ways to support yourself financially is the best way to get over your affair with a married boss. i don’t even care about my feelings nearly as much as i care for those people getting hurt and lied to . i’m just accepting the fact that i have to let my married man go…but it hurts like hell. your married man also has a void so that when he feels he needs you to feel that void, he contacts you. i put my foot down and said hats it i’m telling her -you’re my man. so many days nc n the married man is happy in his life, he didn’t call me even once in 6 days n he says he loves me? he tells me he is happily married and wants to know. should i tell her wife what a type of man she married to. the man who wanted kids with me and to spend our lives together. one really starts off wanting to wreck their married man’s family life or even their own. up late and waited for his text but just to get clichéd ones like how’s ur day, is everything ok, goodnight etc. trying to get me from the beginning and evantually i had falling in love with this man. putting his wife aside, i promise you things will only get worse, and whilst a good distraction from your marriage, it’s not going to help fix it or end it either way. i try to breakup and then get sucked right back in. if he does, it will only get worse for you after he’s issued you the “golden period” again. i questioned this many times as i never saw the love in his eyes or felt his love and affection for me. of course, he had every excuse in the book: he couldn’t bear the thought of breaking his child’s heart and telling her he and his mother would no longer be together; he could never find the time to sit down and speak with her about how they would tell their daughter, or when they would tell her, because they seldom were home at the same time; or their child was around and they couldn’t have the conversation. im married and found myself attached with a colleague who is also married. the other thing that helps with staying away is that we won’t have the chance to let someone walk into our lives who will be free to love us unconditionally unless we stay free from married man…texts included. now i’m sitting here at a wellness center in negril, jamaica doing everything to release this attachment to this man, praying, yoga, mineral baths, dancing, writing. imagine that poor girl: 7 years, her best years to find a mate (the 20’s) wasted with a lying married man. after i left, my attached man started staying with me 2 nights a week, it was bliss as was usually the car and hotels before (gosh, who’d thought an intelligent level headed mid thirties girl would do such tacky things! am not sure of your age but if you want your own family than i urge you to go see a councillor and get some really good support. i kept asking a million questions to friends, so i could understand the man’s side of it. so i tried dating websites and had a few hook ups while still seeing him but nothing i did worked, no one compared and i’ve continued seeing him. you can never trust a man how is cheating cause there is no exception if he can do it with his wife he can do it with you and so many others. he loves his wife and has stated it many times. he ended up staying there instead of coming back home and said that he will clean up his mess so that we can be together but his kids need him. it’s as if you were describing my situation though in my case there are children involved and my married man is very involved in their lives. you also say we could romance and enjoy the thrills because we ain’t married to each other hence we wouldn’t be bored by the mundane experienced by the married couples. i’m married and have a good to great marriage and have been seeing this mm in hopes we could be together because he stalked me so i thought he really did want us together! i never know how long it take to get over this thing, i guess i will need to wait and be patient. there is a world outside of the circle in which your love for your married man is holding you captive and the door is there for all of us to walk out. aren’t together now, we can’t be, it was turning me into a mean, frustrated person with a lot of anxiety. it feels like death how this man is hurting me. i know it feels like it but you have so many people in your life that love you. when we are together, he’s said, “you are mine. he married 3 times and cheated on all 3 wives…he not a winner. loved my family like his it gets harder for me i don’t want to breakup with him the 6th time then after i forgive him i want to slowly pull away i want to stop caring and act so busy may be he will slowly stop caring too. one day i looked him dead in the face and ask d him if he was married and he said no as if it were a foreign word. when you sleep with your boss, you entangle your love life with your financial affairs — and the best thing to do after you stop dating a married man is to get financially independent! it almost was like it was the first 8 months we were together. he was pursuing me but i was slow to give in but once we spent the night together, it just clicked. any woman reading this, you are not alone if you want to break up with a married man, we are here, we are a support group from different countries and we will and have helped each other more than we thought. so many times i wished for a memory loss so i never have to think about those days again and suffer those pain and disappointments over and over again. i cannot get over the disbelief of how much a man can change, how he can just cut you dead and go on with his life, and you start questioning all the things that you ever shared together. anytime you feel weak remember how long it took you to get this far. whatever this married man says, it’s at best an illusion and at worse, blatant lies. so yeah, they will only get worse by coming back i guess., i has been trying to go and get to know more guys. i’ve been a psychotic mess over my married man. in that i mean married mans logic, and this “type” of relationship. the problem is i find out he’s been playing me, to get a piece of me and now he not answering my text or when we do run into each other he yells. but when he call and looking for me i just forget everything. this hurts like hell and i feel like i can’t get off the couch but this too shall pass. i don’t like who i am and i know i’m better off without him it’s just getting to that point of not caring. he is not prepared to start all over again with a younger woman with a young child. during the time i knew him and when i was single, i held myself back from dating other people because i never felt a connection like the one i had with him.. i’m not a stupid person, far from it really actually very intelligent and i actually find he is kind of dumb in many ways and he would not be the type of man i would ever usually go or fall for. i didnt hear anything from married man until today and stopped by to thank me for the email. myself is involved with a married man for 3 and half years now trust me you made the right decision lonely weekends holidays i wish i had your courage to walk away i tried several times and he sucks me right back in yes we have great sex and hes very loyal to me in ways like texts all day long phone calls visits every month i was married 2 times and both failed so maybe im afraid of full commitment or just settle for someones crumbs but if i had to do it all over i would of never got involved with a married man he lives 2 hrs away from me and im a catch for my age and the same age as you just turned 47 this past week and feel the same way you do honey if he lied to you about the marriage hes a fraud and you mentioned you paid for everything hell no a man who cheats can at least treat you because all we are to them is there dessert best wishes to u be strong im gonna let loose soon new year and new phone number always helps. so many times i try ending this relationship but he will called a beg, cry that i shouldn’t leave him, that he can’t do without me. let him f**k his wife or any woman for that matter. it will only get worst and your feeling will get stronger and the harder it will become to end the affair, when you fully realized that he is only stringing you along and you do deserve better. and in another section here, from sharon…if married men wanted to leave they would, no ifs and no buts and no blaming the kids/money/business and so on. are right, i do need to get some answers, but i will wait until i can see him in person, i don’t want to have that conversation by text. told him to leave me alone for the last time this friday and this weekend he is celebrating his birthday with his wife and entire family without a single shred of guilt/remorse. i lost my hair and physically am not the same person, but he is still around and paying for my many expenses. i was in this awful situation for a year, but spent more years turning other men down and even leaving my fiance for the married man i got involved with. he got married for the wrong reasons and i told him. leaving my married man was tough (we were supposed to meet in dubai, i never took the flight, we never spoke again and he was due to pay half my ticket but never did, and i don’t even have much money and got screwed) i guess now he is all happy with his wife and kid, and what can i do.) through college and get a new job because we worked together, which wouldn’t have been allowed, not to mention his wife worked at the same establishment. of my age, i have talked to so many people (around same age) that do not have any intimacy in their marriages. how long does it take to get over a married man? if by thursday i hadn’t seen him, i would panic ‘ohh my word only friday left’ -what if my worst nightmare is realised and he…. let us know how you get on…make those demands…give him a deadline and in the meantime stop trying for a baby because your child deserves 2 parents or at least a father who is not in denial. you hear the hate which they talk about the side chick or the other woman. i am at day 5 of nc and it is probably the hardest day thus far…but i do see glimmers in the mirror of the woman i once was…strong, confident, at ease, calm,peaceful (because i am not waiting to hear from him every second of my life anymore) i have begun to look at my role in this relationship and found that i have been looking for someone to fix me…so i am learning to fix me and be there for myself first! luck ladies, be strong - just stay away from married man no matter what. i truly feel like i’m in a much better place now, a place where if the mn does come back, he won’t be getting an ounce of my time, emotions, energy or fuel. to handle loving and dating a married manupdated on october 28, 2016. my married man ended it with me a month ago. found the strength i needed to end a secret love affair i was having with a married man. and i don’t know maybe i feel sorry for her that she would have to put up with a man like that. my heart racing when he calls or texts feeling euphoric when we are together. working with this married man, looking after a young girl and facing the emotional abuse of my ex. please girls and guys, do not get caught up in this web of destruction and deceit. he is a great father and a very caring man – i got to give him that. i replied to his last friday afternoon texts saying ‘yes will have a lovely time, have fun with family and your laptop'(he works from home and i was off for a ramble and night at a spa hotel…not far from him and something i should be doing with him after all these years! at the same token later on i told my married man i was spending time at my son’s house beach for three weeks he mentioned he wants to spend time with me there. he gets jealous if i even talk to another man at work but he can flirt and talk to any women he wants to and i shouldn’t comment. i’m a married woman having an affair with a married man. never forget that life is only made by our decisions. why does he get the attention while i don’t? one day the married man meets someone (you, us) that jump starts his whole life again! are helping married men cheat on their wives…what if we were in the wives place…i most certainly would not be able to handle it…. all this while during nc i was on road to self rediscovery & trying to understand wat is that i miss abt this man or y did i indulge in an extramarital. otherwise, you will find yourself rejected by your married lover and you will be left alone. a man who can’t keep his word or promises when he married someone, he will never change and you will always stay the side chick you will never be more than that to him. i am so lucky in amazing friends who love me and are helping me get through this. married man was a very decent person, he was so good to me for eight years that words would fail me if i tried to describe it. i told him that i will start dating other men and as soon as i find someone we will end it. you are so drowned in pain you can’t see light from day and i have been here where you are so many times when i was with mm…. i would tell anyone else to get out of this kind of relationship and yet, here i am. he is still married and mad right now at me because i’m giving the silent treatment. is not an excuse for them and no woman should stay in a relationship like this. my married man is my colleague and we work together in the same ward, thank god he is not my boss. i told him that he is a liar, cheater and manipulator. i need to understand why i have been so willing to settle with crumbs and why i have been so willing to help another man lie to his wife. it hurts and is lonely but it will get better eventually. i think that is the best advice i have gotten from many women on this site. nobody knows he’s married they just know i have a “boo” i think i’ve falling in love with him and i don’t know what to do . how did you get out of a relationship from someone at work that can im you or email you in the office aside from getting a new job? be aware though, all of our situations are different and sometimes the married man will come begging you back (hoovering) immediately or like in most cases, they give you the silent treatment for however long they feel like it. i started about 18 years ago when i was involved with someone myself (not married – just living together) for 7 years. then, he dumps her, finds another woman to sleep with before getting rid of her when she gets tired of being a doormat. will plead till i let him in again truth he could be loving me but i cant be aside woman i want out hope i dont listen to him this time and i move on. when we were still together, my mm and i blocked each other on most of communication means, because he didn’t want me to see his updates, i didn’t either because i know that would hurt me. i wish there was a formula to get over the pain and heartbreak. i hope every woman or man reading this can gain the strength to finally come to a point where you decide you deserve more. i’m now on my first full day of zero contact with my married mam. this man is trouble, get away from him as soon as possible. story goes like this i live in europe and i met a man in my church , before we started our relationship i asked him are you married he said no.. long story short, a married man persued me, we have what you would refer to as an online romance/affair/fling there really is no words to it. i have gone through worst heartbroken now while married than when i dated before.. but anyways the other night i didn’t get a message off him and then next day he was really odd and said he needed to talk to me on the phone … he explained that his wife’s family had surprised him and his wife with a vacation overseas….. is back off n dedicated myself to him… he’d get back with playing with my emotions but if i brought it up he’d say you know why i’m so up and down. i was getting over a heartbreak and worked really late hours in order to cope with the pain. any of you have read my posts in regard to the narcissist website then you’ll know that i sincerely believe many of the married men we’re entangled with are full blown narcissists. think sometimes i sound crazy when i talk to him asking why it took so long to get back to me and snapping at him but at the same time i feel like this circumstance makes sense for met to turn into this. i find myself ignoring all the fun of the season to wait by the phone – only to get nothing. e confused anymore and you’ll at least get some type of closure. these married men treat us as their fantasy and we serve one purpose only and that is to massage their egos. how could a man live in a world with no love, or intimacy? there was a time when i would never have believed that my married man could hurt me. he will just continue to do this until he either gets caught or she leaves him. he told me he felt the same way the entire time we were together. never forget you are alive, your mind is stronger than you may think ( i know how the brain wash of us becoming puppets makes us feel like we can’t be strong on any level) but we can, every day that passes is a day you survived the pain. a part of me says yes because he’s still in my life but i’m a woman and i’m to emotional for that. healer i spoke to tied everything back to our relationship with our self and our souls, when our choices are lacking integrity or hurting and taking from others, our actions will inevitably block our path to wholeness because we have betrayed ourselves, and left a crack in our integrity with our choice to be with the married man. those two things made me finally start understanding that the married man i was with was a pathological and chronic liar. am dating, in fact i have fallen in love with total opposite man…. i am married with a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful kids. believe me, there were days (i counted over 2 weeks in total) in the past year, that i was so distraught and literally did not get out of bed, other than to use the washroom. i broke up with my married man for 2 months now. yes, i miss him and yes i get lonely but i keep coming back to this site and reading about the pain and heartbreak and i don’t want that anymore…i wish you great happiness with the right man., even though this is a blog, your responses are so genuine and so human.. i am usually a happy, energetic, sunshine and rainbows type of girl, he said “hey there”, my heart went to my chest and my whole demeanor changed to sad blah blah blah. he was my boss, so before anything could go any further with us, he needed to get a new job. my friend once referred to my married man as a narcissist and i completely disagreed with her. maybe your prayers are being answered by finding this site and now it’s up to you to decide if you’re truly ready to see your entire relationship with the married man from a completely different perspective.. i have been married for 16 years and i met this guy at work who was also married for i think 3 years back then with one child. remember this, if you can do it once, you can do it 2nd time, 3rd time, so let’s believe we could overcome this hardship together. after a 40 year, lifetime apart, we started flirting, remembering the past and inevitably got together at my house. understand that many of you are exactly where i was almost a year ago. are all human and we all need love and intimacy and to feel good about ourselves. when we are younger and unmarried, we are free to move onto another relationship if the one we are in doesn’t work out. you all i pray god almighty give us the grace to move on with our lives and give us the man made for us amen. i decided not to be intimate with him but ultimately i was having an emotional affair regardless and then last week after nearly 2 years of knowing him as a close friend he decided to tell me that yes, he is in fact married but even though he loves his wife he’s not having any intimacy with her and he looks for it outside of his marriage for that reason. about 2 years ago, i met an older man (60 – i am 43), and he pursued me like crazy. we would write letters to each other and during one letter i asked him if he was married? but the man i am marrying is the father of my daughter we have been together since age 21. u r a source of inspiration for many of us who r scared to breakup coz of the after effects. i had made so many positive changes and he couldn’t make any. the dates i went out with other guys really just keep my mind away from my married man. but i would rather be on my own and have the possibility of meeting someone who is devoted to me, than stay with a married man who doesn’t have what it takes to give me the life i deserve. the second one came when we were together, and it is since that one that he realised his error and went back, although he claims it was all her manipulation by threatening to harm them, etc. the first was that he got his son, from his previous marriage, graduated from college; and the second, was that he find a new job because he was my boss and we couldn’t work together if we were going to be together. he wanted to have kids and his parents pressured him and heck, even found him a bride. please please do not believe the man you’re involved with. i keep thinking “what if he changes his mind and can’t get in touch with me”. to hav this man in ur life u decided to settle for the crumbs! affair with married man is nearly a year but slightly different he works in my town away from his wife and goes home to her to see his son he says every six weeks or so for weekend then comes back and lives with me he’s told her he lodges here he says he wants to leave her and he wants the marriage to dissolve in its own way but i’ve found messages on his phone telling her he loves her and misses her why say that if u are trying to distance urself from wife she suspects he’s seeing me but he says he’s neither denied or confirmed it but they havnt discussed it i checked her fb and she’s put photos of them both from this weekend all lovely fovey after he says they don’t talk or intimate at all i keep trying to walk away from him but he always wears me down he it’s like i’m the wife and she’s the baby mother cud he lives here with me i don’t know wat to do he says he loves me please help any advise. and maybe ever anti-depressants but there is no shame in needing all the help you can get! think about your life, your husband’s and that man. you have to be realistic bc expecting a married man to stop having sex with his wife is impossible. if he can’t get from her what he needs, and chooses to stay, then that’s his choice to live with on his own. does it heal you and do the pregnancy hormones help in the forgetting process. have been nc with my married man since almost 2 months.. i will fight the addiction & urge to talk to the married man. there was a time when i would never have believed that my married man could hurt me. i had been with my mm for nine years myself, but i am married too so there was no question of leaving our spouses and kids, it was just that he completed me in a way my husband never could, and we were more of friends than lovers anyway. you’re always speaking my language and i hope between the two of us, we can continue to get the word out about who these men (or women) really are. he gets to go out to dinner as a family. hope people out there could give me more ideas and ways to get out of this relationship without so much pain…. i don’t want to ruin our lives, and i want out so badly, i just keep getting sucked in with crumbs because it hurts to be without him. everything i read says to cut off all communication with the married man in order to heal, but how do i do that when we have a child together? with all the evident…she still stay…as far as i know when his wife at work, he fool around with many women…. he kept insulting my husband and calling him all names for what he did to me and said he would never do that to any women yet at this point in time its all he has been doing and if i even mention it to him he thens gets aggressive saying i’m comparing him to my puss husband. ve stopped all this i want to make it that im so so busy when he complains why ive stopped contacting him first i will be like sorry ive been busy like that may be he will get tired of trying to be with me and he will let go himself .

Dating a Married Man | The Truth Exposed - YouTube

i’m stuck with this black soul of man who is not only married, but treats me like a slut. it hurts and is lonely but it will get better eventually. good outcomes have been my friends dad fell in love 20 years ago, was an affair but he left her mum when she turned 18 and married to his ‘soulmate’ (they are a wonderful couple and my friend loves her dads wife to bits) for 20 yrs, they are still as close as ever. ugh, i hate that i am falling into this even though i told myself i can do it ‘just for fun’ and i won’t get hurt. i’m glad we could make a difference – always remember and never forget – you absolutely deserve more! many things she didnt know about him, or he never thought to share. i tell myself a thousand times that i don’t want to be the other woman. the second time around i really started looking at him from outside of the bubble and it was getting less and less attractive to me. Here's how to break up with a married man and heal your broken heart, plus encouragement from a woman who broke up with an unavailable husband that she was cheating with. and i know that looking for validation from a married man after he decides to break from you) is optimism at best and stupidity at worst. this endless cycle of making up and breaking up is the most dreadful and soul destroying aspect of an affair with a married man. i’m afraid that every man i meet i will compare to my married man and i’m afraid i will push them away., give yourself a chance, i’ve been dating for many years before, and got nowhere, but had fun, lovely times and memories and spend normal weekends with these guys. btw, i met him on one of the dating sites. it took me a whole year of intermittent silent treatment and back and forth until it just broke my mind and then thought i either get out or i will die. you and i have more or less the same age, we have so many years to be happy. its been 2 days i sent my married man the breakup mail & i was feeling so relaxed & free that day, he replied saying u have gone mad n u cant stop me from loving you. dont think i realized how difficult this whole “breaking up with a married man” thing would be! the first was that he got his son, from his previous marriage, graduated from college; and the second, was that he find a new job because he was my boss and we couldn’t work together if we were going to be together. my married man is also trying for a baby, so i can understand how that feels. i’m close to his mates and his dad is aware of our affair and just told him no more babies but he is a man so didn’t cautian him or tell him he is wrong. i know that feeling all too well, as i went back to my married man twice. i know you’ve given me many reasons to be happy when i’m with you, but the guilt i feel after our encounters has become insurmountable to me. ex-married man dumped me so my ego took a beating. that’s when i realized i needed a man of my own. was involved in an affair for nearly 5 years with a man i knew for 10 years before., i can honestly say i thought we would be together. we have ended so many times to the point you are uncertain if it’s for real this time. the main reason why i blocked my married man from my phone is because i knew that i was deserving of a relationship that was not secretive and based on lies. am praying i can end my relationship with my married boyfriend. following week, i bumped into him after work and we ended up getting left by all of our workmates because we were so absorbed in each others conversation. they are the ones who end up stuck in their unhappiness while we can break free and do have the choice to be happy again, with or without a man in our lives. i’m not the type of person who relies on counseling to get through my life, but with this situation, i had no choice. that was 6 weeks ago and he has been round for sleepovers twice ( how can she put up with this) and yesterday he turned up after 11 days no contact (my choice) to tell me how much he loves me, how sorry he is for hurting me and i’ve told him not to come again and not to contact me again, i need more than crumbs of this man and his wife needs him to step up and be the man she thought she had married. he will create a lot of excuses just to get me out of his life. 9 months ago found out recently that a man i have been sleeping with is sleeping with someone i know and have worked with. while my mm says this woman at work doesn’t know, she does and she looks at me like i am poop every time i see her. every girl here, im in a relationship with a married man for about 6mos. and that’s the thing, each time we end it and i get to where i’m good there he is again. it would not be malicious intent if there were a modicum of honesty to tell your so or have the character traits to settle for so little with a married person. because they are a married man having an affair they are narcissistic? and if he is so easily manipulated once, then who knows what is around the corner. the course of the past year i can count on one hand how many times we had sex. i ended my relationship with my married man after two years. week before last i was going out of my mind about this guy and did read your post many times to real in my besottedness (is that a word? when i was suffering and lonely one day, i really wanted to call my married man but never could, he didn’t use a cell except on rare occasions, and i thought to myself ‘ how insane is this? have had so many gifts from my relationship and the ending of it, yes it has been soul breaking, but i have kept searching for where the meaning is in all this and am finding answers and it does help with the pain and grief. my heart is broken and need strength to nit get go back. started dating seriously in 2016 mar he was the best man to ever happen to me he was 32yrs when we met . i need to get out like today and nothing is really holding me back, am just holding me back. he slept over every night and we spent everyday together for months. while my mm says this woman at work doesn’t know, she does and she looks at me like i am poop every time i see her. my problem is i cant be the other woman it kills me so much despite my mm being so good to me supporting me financially denying he stays with any woman telling me he loves me soo much and showing it to me i want to let it go because i want the number one spot not second. now 27yrs i met my married man when i was 25yrs he really pursued me for a year but he never told me he was was still with the mum of his twins he told me he was a single dad of twins. you said you don’t miss your married man and it’s not regret, but if isn’t that, then what is it? i need to get out like today and nothing is really holding me back, am just holding me back. of course, i told him i dont think i can get comfortable with talking to you and youre married. when i try to explain to my married man how i feel he does not get it, or pretends he does, but changes the subject. to reply to you,i am in the same situation only difference is that i am married too. we have emotional holes in us and the married men have holes and we try to fill the holes with the affair. i knew the ex-mn in my life 10 years prior to anything happening, but after learning all i have, i now know i was targeted from the moment he saw me. i have been with my husband for over half my life, married 22. hope you can get to a place where you realize that you deserve better than this. the following few days he called me and said he’s sorry of his lied and he wanted to divorce his wife but many reasons that he can’t and his wife did not want to. met the married man i am seeing at my childs sport event. we see the perfect man (most the time) who makes us feel amazing. hope people out there could give me more ideas and ways to get out of this relationship without so much pain…. then about 6months ago he got into this argument with his wife (quite a big one) and they have not been sleeping together or normal together for 6 months. have been dating a married man for a year now. i had never thought that i can drift away from my marriage as my husband loves me so much and so do i, i always thought there was no room for anyone else but i fell for this man. the narcissist website, the bit about being in love with a married man, the 3 last sentences sum it up and are something like ‘my wife knows nothing about her, she thinks she knows all about my wife, neither of them know what i am’ – and that’s the core of it! it helps you take your power back from the get go and the road to recovery is less rocky than if you keep the back and forth. my ex husband and i decided to call it quits after 7 years of being together and 1 being married (he was my high school sweetheart). but thats not enough we need to be the one and only woman in a relationship with a man. i will do my best to part in a peaceful way and keep good memories of the love i got to experience with this man. i feel that i will never find a man and i will be alone forever. i would suggest reading gloria bonds' book on the rules for dating a married man if you are a single woman who is contemplating an affair with a married man. i have been married for 20 years have 4 kids (ages 19 girl, 18 boy, 16 girl,15 girl). i was very shocked a man i loved for a whole year can talk to me like that…. but then i get the text telling me now if i’m not talking to him, he has no one. i’m so sorry you have been on your roller coaster ride for so long. we could’t resist the love for each other so we continued and fell even deeper in love when he got married and after he got married., chasing and having sex with people you know are married or you are the married person in pursuit of the liaison the why is a huge question to ask yourself. my husband is 10 times the man he’ll ever be and i’m just the idiot that that has took my husband for granted the past two years..Iv been in affair for 5 yrs, and iv just ended it , his reply was i want your cunt, well says it all doesn’t, it, no i love you, please dont leave, for him it was just sex , as in the 5 yrs he never ever bought me anything, took me out, no birthday cards nothing, and the stupid fool i was i let it happen, because i loved him, of course he said the usual things that he lived in a sexless marriage, that he hated her, but never said he would leave her, they still had their holdays together, and there is no children, since i ended it its, over a week now haven’t heard a word since, and i never will contact him, what a waste of soul destroying 5yrs, never ever will i become involved, with a married man again, and the stress is unbelievable, if my children ever found out that i had been involved with a married man they would disown me , as their father had affair, which broke up my marriage, well onwards and upwards, is all im going to do, there is someone, free out in the big wide world, and if i dont find him, im going to enjoy my stress free life. he used to call me babe or baby all the time and now he says he’s not going to because he feels like i’ll get to attached! and no married man deserves to be given all the love that comes from a good, beautiful, caring woman, especially if it’s not his wife. in my past, the men who wanted me, searched for me, came back to me, sent me flowers, went to great lengths to get me back. he is another woman’s husband; he stood in front of his family and friends and vowed to love her forever.. i try to b strong, everyday i think of ending it with the married man, but when i see his pic on watsapp, i get carried away n numb! i want to explain to him that i want to be treated the way i deserved and that small things for him is already huge thing for me and we always end fighting before he will talk to me and get things fixed but now he is ignoring me and letting me the one to do a way to patch things up with him. the second one came when we were together, and it is since that one that he realised his error and went back, although he claims it was all her manipulation by threatening to harm them, etc. we fell in love, we are alike in so many ways. right now i'm completely, madly in love with a married guy. i did tell him i am deserving of a man of my own. if i fell asleep before saying good night, i’d get the cold shoulder. never in a million years would i have ever believed my ex-married man was a narcissist, but when you start to read of similarities between your married man and others, and then read about who and what narcissists are, it’s almost impossible to deny the truth. so somehow the grip this man had on my psyche dimmed, i had so much more to think of. have deleted him from my life,Kelly, leave the married man now. i get it well and i know how you feel. of course i thought it was different, like many, but at least now i feel less alone. i have to admit that he was on my mind quite a bit especially after seeing him and his wife together. maybe this will push me harder to get out of there and find a new job. ive been on the other side too – reality – with a different relationship of 3 years, where we lived together and the romance ends quicker when you dont retire to your separate homes at the end of the day. how can married men do this so easily and we can’t? i don’t know how many times my married man says but what if i leave and it doesn’t work out …. i really want a man of my own and i want to get married. he is aggressive in pursuing me and told me in the beginning when he really wants something he doesn't stop until he gets it. whatever you decide, please don’t do it for the married man.…im also getting jealous of the life they seem to have…it looks like lala land…. blah blah blah yes my former married man needed constant affirmation and attention and never liked being alone (hence the need for more than one woman). this man is married with three kids but his wife is not giving him peace of mind, he wants me to accept his proposal so he can come see my family. you actually spend you time chasing the am/mm (mine with his gf for 12 yrs so i say attached man), wanting their constant approval, apologising lots if you feel you’ve pushed them etcetc. broke up with my married man of a bit more than 2 years. and live and experience the pain and sadness, get it though, don’t put anything under the carpet. was involved in an affair for nearly 5 years with a man i knew for 10 years before. he was completely up front and said he’s married with 2 daughters and has zero intentions of leaving his family. being with my martied man for many years and being head over heals in love with him, i can tell you now that i hate him, i hate him and not because we are not together as i never expect us to be but for his constant lies, deception and consciously playing with my emotions. each day i’ll set little goals for myself with the first being do not contact and focus on what i need to get done. i had a talk with my bf who is married with kids that i decided to do the right thing and breaking him up. they’re happily married now and my friend is glad she stayed with him…but it was a long road! maybe you are not in love with your husband, but eventually, you would see the other man for who he is too. want to forget him completely and erase him from my mind! do have respect for my married man in the fact that he did not play mind game with me. you’ll feel better about yourself and your life after ending the affair, and you’ll see the married man differently. he can say he loves me and he hasn’t felt like this in many years. i have not had any more contact with mm but i took off friday. his wife studies abroad and they have never really lived together for more than a month. i’m in a much better place now (time is a good healer, i’m in the ‘shock’ stage, not the shock of not being with him, but all the lies, manipulation and at some points nastiness to get what he wanted over the years…. off to the supermarket we’d go to grab food for the next 2 evenings of ‘us’- we even have our own nickname which i’m sure many do!, he started pulling back, saying doesn’t want to text so much any more, and has friended some very pretty younger woman on facebook. we loved the highs, but the lows (times without the married man), which was most of the time, destroyed us. he called me everyday this week except friday and today. so many of us here have been lied to and have believed the lies. all i knew was i wanted the truth, and although i knew i’d really never get it, i didn’t give up putting the pressure on him.’s been a few days since i left a post and i really thought the dynamic with my married man had changed. you think your situation is unique and that he’s different than other married men, but they’re not. now 27yrs i met my married man when i was 25yrs he really pursued me for a year but he never told me he was was still with the mum of his twins he told me he was a single dad of twins. i’ve been dating a married man for nine month and this relationship has gotten out of control. stumbled across this page last night on my way home from work and it has been so helpful to read everyone else’s stories and to not know that i am the only woman who had an affair with a married man. he wants me to believe we are soulmates who are supposed to be together, yet he will never leave. used to feel like i was the exception with my married man. we were in close contact even though many miles apart. married man no longer talking to me or texts me back. look, he’s playing a very masterful game with you and i would much rather know i did what i could to help you get the upper hand on what he’s going to ultimately do to you if you don’t act now. i would like to say one more thing if, a married man, is so unhappy with his marriage, and tells you he loves you, its total lies, if hes so unhappy, and hes so in love with you he would leave, get real, its just plain sex, thats what they love, and if it wasn’t you it will be someone else, once a cheat always a cheat, girls dont lose any sleep, because they won’t over you . i am now in the process of getting a license for work that will double my pay and let me be the extrovert that i am. he still marry but we live together and he tell me he doesnt get a divorce but she'll take him for alimony what do i do. everyone… after searching google, i came across this site on how to break up with a married man and started to read everyones comments. i am back with the married man again after one week nc. because you think things are going to get better, but they only get worse, much worse. i always said i would never get involved with a married man.’ve tried so many times to leave him before, but i can’t stand the thought of not only having him as my lover, but also as my best friend. when i try to explain to my married man how i feel he does not get it, or pretends he does, but changes the subject. i wish more people would read the narcissist website i posted so many times, but i also understand that everyone has to learn in their own way, my prayers are with you, asking for strength, light and guidance as you find your way out of the mess that he dragged you into. but you will managed, you can’t believe it now but you will. i hope u keep urself strong & get over it soon! should i tell her wife what a type of man she married to. have broke up and got back together so many times, i cannot even keep count, but now i see how others are treated and then dumped and i do not want to waste my time anymore. i have broken up with so many times and in so many ways i have lost count! i started seeing my married man again after swearing off 10 days ago. we are staying together for long we keep fighting a lot for some or the other reason, earlier the reason used to be my doubts. going through a similar situation…my question is…do these married men ever get caught? we cuddled for an hour on the sofa, on a sunday, like most the weekend when i’m usually alone, i had a lovely young man, in fact good looking and fit! i am sleeping with a married man but i think you will beat yourself up if you sleep with him and he doesnt break things off with his wife to be with you. myself is involved with a married man for 3 and half years now trust me you made the right decision lonely weekends holidays i wish i had your courage to walk away i tried several times and he sucks me right back in yes we have great sex and hes very loyal to me in ways like texts all day long phone calls visits every month i was married 2 times and both failed so maybe im afraid of full commitment or just settle for someones crumbs but if i had to do it all over i would of never got involved with a married man he lives 2 hrs away from me and im a catch for my age and the same age as you just turned 47 this past week and feel the same way you do honey if he lied to you about the marriage hes a fraud and you mentioned you paid for everything hell no a man who cheats can at least treat you because all we are to them is there dessert best wishes to u be strong im gonna let loose soon new year and new phone number always helps. have been there, so i will tell you this: if you truly want to cut ties with this married man, delete his number (do not memorize it first), block him and delete him on all social network accounts.! i think at the time he was panicking about losing me for some reason and at that time had not perfected the manipulation. course your hearts hurt, of course you will have hard time sad days find your self crying and many other things but you gonna be alright. i’m reading another book right now from hg tudor called “sitting target: how and wht the narcissist chooses you”. i wasn’t this woman who could separate my feelings this way. i don’t feel like being branded as ‘ the home wrecker’ and ‘the other woman’. i wonder have a tainted my next relationship because i am emotionally tied up with another woman’s husband. it is challenging to let go completely but i believe you get stronger as the weeks go on. but life got in the way, he had too many stresses and he couldn’t continue. i have been seeing a married man for 9 months and no one knows. he gets his energy from internal not from other people like me. matter how many years you have been loving this mm, as long as he is not divorcing, nothing will end good. the last time we spoke he mentioned he was married and had one child., i don’t say this to give you “hope” that your married man will come back, i say it because, chances are he very well could at some point. i have no idea how his wife got my number,I told my office manager about it later on. well one day out of the blue (i was doing well without him, i am the one who broke it off) he left a message on my vm that he was getting married. tomorrow is another day and the beautiful thing about new days is that you get to start over my friend. people who watched us when we weren’t doing anything in the beginning commented that we had a connection (these people don’t know we are together now) so i know it wasn’t all in my head. the attached man has still not left almost 3 years on. this woman took the man i loved his traits and rules his life. married men persuade you you’re their soulmate, and create this fake world…i will find the links soon and post them here! don’t let this married man ruin that, and you still deserve the best just because of this bad decision. i have also had major problems with concentrating and keeping it together. i conjured up in my own mind that i could be the one that provided the love and relationship to him while he made money with this woman. he ensnared me in the worst way imaginable and i’m just to the point where i really don’t care if i meet anyone ever again, and if i do, i will handle myself in a completely different manner than what i’ve done before. i know my married man is ultimately a coward and he’s worried about losing his money but i can’t seem to end it..i also asked him to return my keys and to come get his stuff from my place. i can’t speak for all married men, but it seems to me that they enjoy having a woman that “needs them” emotionally and physically. and he will always think what he’s doing to her is worse (cheating with us) so he will go out of his way to be accommodating. but i am taking it one day at a time and hope it gets easier then it is right now. don’t get me wrong, i’m sure a lot of mm love their mistresses but they do something about it and don’t throw breadcrumbs and lies for years. it’s not romantic, sexy, or charming to help a married man cheat on his wife.. i know full well i will get responses and feel bad for him that i’m not there for him, on the days leading up to his dads funeral. i worked out of town and went home to find my husband had another woman living in my house. however, he was married and although it is a loveless, sexless marriage it worked. trying my hardest to get hint to understand my pain and what he is doing to my life. i mean, i did a bad thing by knowingly getting involved with a married man in the first place. he may not be 100% happy but who cares, he still gets to wake up having his wife and his family while im still on my own sobbing, they still have each other and he can be with her, comforting her while im being abandoned. everything i read says to cut off all communication with the married man in order to heal, but how do i do that when we have a child together? tomorrow marks one month since i ended things with my married man and while i do miss him so much every day, i am doing better than i thought. any case i love him and i know he loves me yet he finds fault with everything and im not sure if it is because it gives him reason not to leave his wife…his wife found some stuff out and he asked me to call his wife one time and tell her that he keeps calling me and that he just called me–he wanted me to do that while he was sitting with her so that she would think i was a liar and crazy and that would get him off scott free and no have her think he is seeing me and then we would be able to still see eachother. this is just one blog hg tudor has from an archive of many and i just felt like it was a good place for you to start. we are living in the same life, the same time, the same city, we are in love but we will never be together. i spent money on getting a background check and ended up getting links to his wife's facebook page. although i am hurting i know that this would be my first and last time messing with a man that is in a relationship -married or not. you’re here because you want to be free of the guilt, shame, and self-loathing that accompanies cheating with another woman’s husband. met the married man i am seeing at my childs sport event. the way these married men love you is just not enough. one thing i’ve been struggling with lately, is just getting him out of my head.’ve never felt more connected to a man then i do with him. i have many scars from an abusive relationship, physically and emotionally. still don’t know if this is is 2nd wife or 1st wife remarried. hearing your story has helped because the way we left things were not great but still not hurtful, i just asked him not to contact me for a month(we had been friends for 10 years together for 6 ahh that is too long)and i did not want to give the friendship up but i am thinking i did that 6 years ago. married man used to say he loves me so much but can’t get devours for crap reasons. i totally get how hard it is bc they can make you feel on top of the world but they also can make you feel like the lowest life form possible. i had a phone through him and his wife’s contract but he broke it, went to get it fixed, and i still havent received it 2 months later. i went back to my old ways and we ended up in bed together. i’ve tried breaking it off numerous times and like you get the begging, pleading and threats of wanting to kill himself. i thought i could manage it because it’s much different than the other situation; but i know heartbreak is inevitable.. we spoke and he cleared a few misunderstandings about work and then he started getting all romantic, after the sex he just upped and was ready to leave without even satisfying any of my needs. he was open that i was such a pure woman, unexposed to the badness in the world, and he would not promise any future in this relationship to confuse me. in that i mean married mans logic, and this “type” of relationship.. his mom likes me alot and everyone already assumes we are together . he’s everything you’ve ever wanted, you belong together…but he is another woman’s husband. is a key component of narcissism because sex/romance/love are powerful tools to gain fuel from you. like you are some woman who understands every bit of his foolish acts that you will be there waiting for him. told him monday not to say he loves me or cares since he didn’t check on me all weekend and monday morning i get a , how are you kid, asking how i’m handling chemo. you talked about exhausting schemes trying to keep this man and scheduling dates, it reminded me of myself.. i’m not a stupid person, far from it really actually very intelligent and i actually find he is kind of dumb in many ways and he would not be the type of man i would ever usually go or fall for. yeah it was nice to have texts saying how great i make him feel, to make out with someone who gave you butterflies (of course he did, it was all new and simple), and to fantasize about the day that we would be in that cul de sac home together, planting roses and strawberries and just making perfect, passionate eternal love every day (infatuation fu*ks you in the head). we would use precious time at work for a couple hours to be together or last minute rendezvous. after trying over and over to help him, get his citizenship to help him figure out work and money to give us a future, he couldn’t change anything. there is something intoxicating about a man in uniform and in power. i’m trying to tell myself to get the strength to end it. she said she wanted to keep the family together and would do anything.. may his career get screwed as thats wat is most important for him. the sex was great or at least think so because i have been with the same man since i was 16…the passion was there which has not been in marriage for some time because it is hard to want to be with someone who is not nice to children. i’m copying your message to keep reading and get this through my head. i was on one and met a guy who had chased me for 6 years, although he is very laid back, i’ve seen him 3 times and its my escape for now, we don’t message much, but i forget my worries when i’m with him as he is so much younger and has a different outlook to life, which helps me calm down and distress. you may need to actually move away from the area you live in altogether in order to move on with your life. if u are single dont you ever date a married man. last thing my coffee partner said, was not to idealize the relationship, or the married man. i may actually see the married man tonight at a party with mutual friends and i have vowed to myself not to allow his presence to alter my mood and even entertain the idea of sleeping with him. trust me, trust us, the best thing you can do is walk away with pride and stop thinking about what he may or may not think. just last week, when we were together someone texted him, a woman. this january he went on a family vacation, during this time he messaged me he missed me, i was getting tired of everything, so i sent a snark remark back. i was in a relationship with a married man for nearly 2 years and we were in love head over heels. a real man, in real love would not cause the kind of heartache and pain we have all felt. he and his wife got tattoos within days of each other and when i mentioned i was thinking about getting one, he blew up. if i can also suggest, read the comments (there may be many) because you might recognize yourself in many of the people. i need to forgive myself because i was such an idiot to love a man like him, but i believe time makes things work.. i am usually a happy, energetic, sunshine and rainbows type of girl, he said “hey there”, my heart went to my chest and my whole demeanor changed to sad blah blah blah., if there’s anything i can say that will help, it’s to tell you to stop looking for love from a man who cannot and will not give it to you, the way he’s promised to do so many times. my ex married man has no children and says he doesnt sleep with his wife bla bla. that is as much as i want to forget everything and this pain to be gone, i’m also at the same time afraid that things to fade away. but yes, most of these married men are thinking about you and are unhappy. i can sense he knows that i’m wanting to end it because he uses expressing himself as a way to get me back in. i just want to get out of this before i get depressed that eventually its going to end. i have been to therapy and am a very self reflective woman who believes we are all continually evolving. wrote me so many messages that he really loves how about he formalizes our relationship . my friends would never dream of being with a married man or letting themselves get into my situation so it makes talking to them very difficult. i have gotten into trouble at work for my absenteeism since the official mark of the end of the relationship between my married man and i. read up on narcissistic/sociopaths, especially before your anger gets the better of you and you try taking revenge. it’s not just married men, it’s all men who don’t know how to behave decently and empathically and do the right thing , however uncomfortable it may feel to do it. i always knew he was married from the beginning, she was in a diferent country and he was alone you could say. am a well educated woman as well, i don’t think you have to be smart to avoid a married man, i think we have to love ourselves more. a few days later he messaged me about something for the game and i replied and it was all pretty innocent for a little while then we started talking more and more and flirting and getting into deep conversations about our lifes,  talking daily ,several times a day. i so totally get how you are feeling right now. now i’m sitting here at a wellness center in negril, jamaica doing everything to release this attachment to this man, praying, yoga, mineral baths, dancing, writing. he acted like everything i said didn’t make sense and he’d say he was getting more and more frustrated. i was in a scary ‘relationship’ and suffered many hardships with my bf at the time whom i’d only been with a few years. im confused, and in love and not sure how to break it off without getting drawn back in. i know you’ve given me many reasons to be happy when i’m with you, but the guilt i feel after our encounters has become insurmountable to me. it quickly became clear we were going to have an affair — texting all the time, sexual innuendos, going away together… i knew he was married – 30 years – and had a daughter. they took individual surveys that said they shouldn’t be married but yet he is making excuses. married men will come back to you if you let them cause it’s just a game for them. i never in a million years would have picked this man out of any line up of men i would normally choose. ex-married man dumped me so my ego took a beating. i thought he was a widower when i met him, he failed to tell me he had remarried immediately after his wife passed away. when i was suffering and lonely one day, i really wanted to call my married man but never could, he didn’t use a cell except on rare occasions, and i thought to myself ‘ how insane is this? i never, ever thought i would end up with him because he was married, but i knew if i had such strong feelings for him, i could not be with my boyfriend any longer.: woman reacts to break up of long-term marriage by only dating married men. we are watching movie, we are kissing, we are dating. when you talked about schemes to keep a married man. got back together – tried again at something -things go back to bad.?You have bonded with him so it will take time to detox from him that is exactly what you must do you are young do not waste your youthful years with this man he will never leave because he will not leave the money he has built why should he get the best of both worlds! hopefully we’ll get more and more of these women (and possibly men in the same situation) to see things from a different perspective. you do not get over something like this you get through it. 2 months ago how can i see that a married man really loves me? i have not cut things off completely but have a genuine desire to and i think i am getting there. yes he is the most incredible man i have ever met, but, he also isn’t the most honest either so that kind of cancels the good bit out! i know i need to leave, i don’t even think we will ever be together.’s impossible to have a healthy relationship with a married man. my friends used to be adamant he would come back, saying he’ll never find anyone like you who wants him. have been on the “married man” train off and on with the same guy for many years. it’s as if you were describing my situation though in my case there are children involved and my married man is very involved in their lives. don’t even want write much about this married man anymore. but all this being said, he used to constantly tell me he loves me, and wish we were together, and ofcourse he was very happy that i was so emotionally available to him. he’s still living happily with another woman, he’s doing fine without me, he doesn’t bother to show me his love, nothing matters anymore. one year is about right when it comes to shifting from playing around to getting serious.'m laurie - married, childless, joyful, saved - writing to help women blossom! i have been involved with a married man for almost 9 years. you again for writing this article about breaking up with a married man, and ty to everyone that wrote in and shared their story 🙂. he has been to my home and job before, but to be honest, i do not believe he will come to either demanding what happened. hard thing was and i read this somewhere about affairs…the married man is far more concerned about his friends finding out and their feelings than their mistresses!’m curious how long you have been in no contact and how you ended things permanently? take care of yourself and detach from your married man..The married guy i chose to get myself involved with was an old high school friend. what type of man of father does that to their child? if ur married man really luv u and wants to b with u. i told him that i will start dating other men and as soon as i find someone we will end it. the married man may have detached from you emotionally but that’s because their brain is wired differently to ours. read carefully through the comments so many of us women have left here and learn about the patterns most of us fall into with these situations. my married man and i have had the greatest time together. he agreed, we said we’d forget about it, and i left. i was newly separated from my husband (about 6 months into my separation) and i had been dating single men and it had been hard going. i promise you though, by educating yourself, you will see things more clearly and get better xo 🙂.!I am hurting right now and i miss married man terribly. did a little digging and found out that guy was married. know exactly what you mean about not being able to get your ex-mm out of your head. been dating a married man to my full knowledge for a few months now. have written before how my married man and his wife are expecting. i get that you probably don’t believe the mm is a narc, but i didn’t either with mine, until i started reading this site. thing is, when i do get my revenge, i won’t even care.. i had so much proof and his wife and i had spoken many times. the first month of chatting with my married man i didnt know he was married but on our first date, i asked and he answered honestly. they have a small child together, they are a family.’m with a married man for more than a year now and he has been marrie for a year and a half. lives on my street which makes it harder but i need to figure out why i would get my self involved like this when i know what it feels like. ladies why do we find these relationships so intoxicating and give so much of ourselves and our loyalty to a man that not only does not deserve it but also probably doesn’t have much concept of it! i became involved with this man thinking it would be a brief fling. we would meet in different states and have amazing sex and time together but i always cried because i wanted more. anyone who is still involved with a married man, all i can say is end it now. he said he told my friend about it when they were together. there are many other short blogs by this author and it would do you a world of good to educate yourself on what you’re truly dealing with. if i had to do it all over, i would walk away as soon as he told me he was married, which was the third sentence out of his mouth. if you think for once that that man doesn’t think about you you are very mistaken. i’m struggling with this as well but i’m grateful for this platform where women can come together and support one another. the only way to do it is just do it and take the pain but know that it gets better. i feel that i will never find a man and i will be alone forever. when you get single, give me a call if you want.) she helps him get divorced, deals with 3 kids and 2 baby mamas…and eventually married him. in those 4 months, i was doing counseling with my husband, when he decided he didnt want to go to counseling anymore and got verbally and emotionally abusive, i ran back to this man. while my story started slightly different, the communication and breakups with my married man were the same as you. i told him was i never had a problem with him but i cant be a sidewoman. since we wor together and doesn’t want any evidence through texts emails, he will stop by my office a week or so later to ask how im doing. this was a long term affair with many on then off moments but i was never in all the years able to call him anything else rather than the “love of my life”. true love means you can introduce the man you love to your family and friends. i am partly in love with the fact that he is so successful-we work together. i never chased him; i liked him, but since he was married i never would’ve made a move on him. i love the part about breaking away from the man (although real men don’t treat ladies like this!! of course my guy said he never did but honestly i would not want to be married to a man like him if you think about it. it’s not a race but it will make a huge difference and it will effect how you manage the post-break up feelings. he got rid of me to keep his own family. i am sure i am not the only woman he sees outside of his wife. carla, if you see messages from him saying he loves her, and if you see lovey photos on fb the red flags are all there that your man is a good liar! well, i have to own that i put myself here, but i too am involved with a married man. i realized that i have the will & strength to get up and walk without stumbling even after falling & failing so many times. further told him if his not ready to settle down now he can forget me & i move on peacefully cant waste my youth full years on an decided man he told me his decided its me he wants. believe nothing stays in the dark for too long…no one gets away with type of behavior forever..what was it i saw ,feel so foolish ,desperate and idk how to get whole again ,i find myself listening to our calls and crying myself to sleep,i convinced myself he was unhappy and that i’m here to save him,i convinced myself we will be together and gave him all of me foolishly, what he gave me was what i needed,felt so amazing getting his affection,we had a huge argument and haven’t spoken in 2 days mainly cuz he’s off from work ,how can he put his feelings for me off till he gets bk to wrk? i’m tired of being the woman he uses for masturbation. i can get out of my affair with mm, she is stuck with him! after i left, my attached man started staying with me 2 nights a week, it was bliss as was usually the car and hotels before (gosh, who’d thought an intelligent level headed mid thirties girl would do such tacky things!.you seem so weak and i have been there severally,get a life of him,wean yourself off him gradually,meet people for lunch and other activities and gradually stop explaining yourself! i know not the best thing to do but i felt like hey if both parties are up front then no one gets hurt. i become involved with a married man who lives in the same building as i do. he wanted to financially, and without chaos, get his son (prev. clearly am not expressing myself enough that there is a way to get “through” the heartbreak and pain … it’s the narcsite website (hg tudor – author).’t think for one minute that your married men love you because they don’t. have a broken my heart, we have cried together in each other’s arms for 4 hours. there anyone who have this experience that her married man saw the results of his actions? i have been crying off and on all week but the pain is getting better actually. one minute i like him and find a way to be ok with this and the next minute i am saying i deserves better than this…i deserve a man that is not attached to someone else, a man that is available to love me. why choose an innocent woman when u already have a wife, n u don’t have the intention of leaving her? those men do not like when we disappear, it’s a damage to their ego 🙂 so that when we give cold shoulder, they go out of the way to get you back (but once you are back, he will be hot/cold with you again). these men would not be the first men in history to get a divorce and still be an active, loving parent to their child.? still i did this to such a nice man like my husband. it’s so hard to think of all the beautiful memories we shared, yet knowing that none of it meant anything to him, which is why it’s also so hard to see him as even being human. i'm the one that brings up sex, because a married man only gets involved with a single woman for one reason. if this man wanted to reach you, there would be absolutely nothing that would stop him, period. she will get all his pension and benefits even tho he lives with me. i went to all the performances and he never hid me from anyone. i bet you felt all sorts of different emotions when seeing an email, and getting those calls, from your ex-mn. my parents wont accept me n this man wont leave his family for me, this he made clear from day 1! can assure you that you will better for every day that you succeed to get by. he’s been married 11 out of 16 and me 14 out of 16. i know i deserve more i just don’t know how to get to that point and just let go. it’s very comforting to know that i am not the only one going through this, as for the longest time i felt so alone and felt like such an awful person for being involved with a married man. any tips you could give me to get through this would be so appreciated. i just wish he would get exactly what he deserves. minute you start talking to someone who admits they’re married, alarm bells should be ringing. i enjoy the companionship, the sex, the butterflies and romance. i have been dealing with the married man for 5 months only! even if that image was pure bullsh-t i realized the mm was always going to play at being “the happily married man for his own ego. i know i will heal and get stronger in time, although i never stop thinking about him and i still love him. i started liking him more so i did some digging online and found out hes married. i read this article and i agree with the statement "ask yourself this question: "what am i getting out of dating a married man? if you think for once that that man doesn’t think about you you are very mistaken. i just need to pull through work days (friday is crucial) and i’ll be fine, i’ll emerge stronger, why? he hasn’t said much to me since we got together on monday except casual good morning, etc. this person has stolen 12 years of my life that i can never get back. i do not want to be alone either so i have to continue to figure where my happiness lies and it should not be with a married man. so, with that thought in mind, i’m actually (in a strange sort of way) thankful i went through my experience because it’s ultimately made me so much more aware of who i am, why i was targeted in the first place and how to protect myself for the rest of my life. but at least you still have a choice in this… what if the married man wakes up and says he doesn’t feel the same way anymore? but why i gave up someone that was not mine and did not really care (although he said i was one of his best friends why could he block me so easy) now how to get thorugh the next days we would say good mornign or hope you have a good day every day or every other day. thankfully i am also married and would stay married (but i did have a foolish thought that i would do anything to be with u). i will never forget how devastated i was after i was discarded so abruptly., it definitely gets harder before it gets easier, please go easy on yourself and just take it a day at a time. recently ended things with my married man of 5 yrs, as well. anyway this man that was pursuing me i finally gave in around may of this year and i’m embarrassed and ashamed to say we had online sex. after he left, i heard nothing from him for two weeks but found out he had gotten married! that letting go of an affair with another woman’s husband is painful, but you can put it behind you. realised, i was smitten, and that i could love someone far more than the am man. i really want a man of my own and i want to get married.’ve been involved with a married man for almost 10 months. i remember ur advice abt leavin the pathetic old married man whom m datin n i did exactly the same! many victims i’ve heard from move forward into healthier relationships and marriages that last the rest of their lifetimes. i’m stressed, and exhausted from dealing with this relationship and i’m trying to get out of it but its become very hard. all of us worked together in the same building, which had it’s good parts and bad. whatever you decide, please don’t do it for the married man. he also told me so many lies like he wasn’t sleeping with his wife but i found out she had a miscarriage two weeks ago. i have just ended a 6 month relationship with a married man and i am sick and devastated. that is as much as i want to forget everything and this pain to be gone, i’m also at the same time afraid that things to fade away..Heartbreak, i like to read your writing about how to deal with the thoughts of the married man and his wife. i can guarantee you right now they are making plans on how the family will come together long term. was one year in may, & the first time we spoke of the “elephant in the room” was friday june 4. , its not going to be easy, at first but if you hold on, it will get easier as you see it through and in that gain strength. very easy for us to spend time together as we’d takes days off too, she thought he was at work. for the first time in almost 3 years, i was having a normal friday evening, not one where i’m at home and the am is with his family…i had someone elses attention, and fully, no texts from the gf or worrying his dad will phone…. from everything i have been reading (and thank you for sending the links because i am taking them to heart), i just can’t deny that he has too many similarities to one. got me here today, the last time we were together, it was like what he described to me, what it was like when he had sex with his wife. he used to socialise with his friends and his gf lots (the first 2 years we were together, which i accepted)…but then they moved from the edge of the city to the end of the peninsula which is just hard to get too and not somewhere you can pop too. on one hand i want to keep him around but on the other hand…whats the point, i will get hurt in the long run…. i have eventide to see he and his wife in public so i could hurt myself and get over it. i’m hoping that if he gets in contact next year i will feel strong enough to finally talk and get my answers but for now, i miss him so much it hurts. it is hard for me to leave him now after two months, i cannot even imagine how it could feel after years of my invested emotions and commitment to a man who doesnt really care about any of that. am at the moment is married to a muslim man who is married. think about how you were before the married man and during the affair. i can be the strong woman i always wanted to be and i will never let anyone treat me as badly as he did. it’s took me 2 years to get to this point.’m a little love sick over him but know he is a nervous about us so is still on the dating site, and tbh he does need someone a little younger and that is all i’ve gone about – his age. lost my love when i was 63 after 2 1/2 year intense emotional affair with a married man. neighbor has been and still cheating on his wife…in face throughout their relationship…they been married over 17 years but together over 23 years…since dec 18 i have been talking to my other neighbors, and to realized it is a common knowledge he’s a cheater…. may god bless you because you’ll need the strength, wisdom and patience with yourself to get through this, but you can get through it. i was approached by 2 other men being dignified i said i wasn’t interested, i’m a smart woman i take great pride in my appearance. i think he loves the idea of a younger woman to control. n if his wife gets to knw, he wont think even for a minute before ending it with me. married men just move on so quickly, as if nothing ever happened.. i have not been keeping wel since 2 days, i even told him this, but that horrible man didn’t care to ask me the whole day how i was feeling.’m over my obsessive impulses now, to act in order to get his attention. the comments below about breaking up with a married man. i have been with my husband for over half my life, married 22. you're an unmarried woman in an affair with a married man and you want to understand the truth of what's happening -- read this book. when i get emotional and upset, he always told me: look at the big picture. it’s easy fix if you want to get back with him.. going into this i knew he was married and i knew it was wrong and i expressed that to. we went together on a trip for thanksgiving, and he introduced me at a christmas office party to co-workers as his girlfriend. i have been noticing all of his lies, his manipulations and his disappearing acts on weekends, holidays and leave. sue, i can sense you’re an intelligent woman, please read the blog, starting with his first article beginning august of 2015. i understand his fears and i told him that i do get it. this man is not worth my time and yet here i am missing and wanting him. for anyone new to this site and new to this experience get the f out while you still have your sanity. how do you get through a breakup up with a married man, its for the best i know but my heart hurts. the man i loved for a year who i comforted is nowhere around to hold me when i need him..why would you want to see a man like that?.my married man was three decades older than me he is 54 and i’m 27 and his wife was my pastor.! there are millions of single guyz out there and this writer will be telling us how to "caress" being in love with a married man. me when i say this, no man who truly loved you would stay married if he found the love of his life elsewhere. because i finally moved on from my married man at one point in life. i’m so grateful for the time we got, and that we were able to have our own world where his being married almost didn’t matter. i felt like, he should’ve shown his appreciation for me making time to watch him play (i probably sound ridiculous but oh well) his wife never comes to a game never! he had put me under the impression that we would spend time together that day, but he was only interested in sex. feel so horrible to let the married man come to my life and tell me all those thing that i can’t even be sure if was truth or lies. i have many scars from an abusive relationship, physically and emotionally.’ve been in a relationship with a married man for nearly 2 years and i’m devastated right now. wrote me so many messages that he really loves how about he formalizes our relationship . i have been looking for answers for one year now, and did not get him to even open his mouth, forget about actually saying something that may make sense out of nonsense. this man is probably “unavailable” whether he is married or not.. i could if he could treat me like shit too, because that's what many guys do when a woman accept to have sex with them without commitment. i recently broke things off with a married man last week. i mean literally all my life (our family had close ties) and i allowed myself to get so caught up with him because i knew him as a family friend and knew he liked me all my life that i neglected to really get to know him before i rushed into a relationship with him well one year later he moved out from my home into the next woman’s home. of course i thought it was different, like many, but at least now i feel less alone. post i posted we back together, he came to meet me twice last thursday. ive always been the loyal girlfriend that was cheated on by every guy i was with and now im the other woman…i am still in the beginning stages and im sure it is probably best to leave now. you become an easy target for those who don’t deserve you. it is extremely difficult to remove yourself from the married man especially when the 2 of you love each other. i didnt hear anything from married man until today and stopped by to thank me for the email. i’m 19 years old and i am involved with a married man. i wanted to text him so many times before and never did but yesterday i was weak. the visits starting getting further apart, the phone calls less. will manage to think less and less about it, the truth is you will never get answers and never know what is the truth. you’re very strong, the thought of even going near my attached mans front door makes me feel ill, as he lives 70 miles away and i guess i’ve never had to face his reality (i’ve never been anywhere near where he lives) and like you, we haven’t been trying for a baby, but i’ve never fell pregnant so have spent the past 2 years having fertility checks, and now it’s time to make an appointment to plan a date…yet he hasn’t left? i met my married man i was married too- that was 7 years ago. later we lost contact and met back through facebook, by then i am married with two kids. never would have picked up my married man from a line up. i’m going through the breakup process with this married man again because enough is enough. » breaking up » emotional affairs » how to break up with a married man and heal your heart. did i realise i was about to fall in love with this man and him me. no matter how common it is to fall in love with and date a married man, it is degrading, dishonest, and disappointing. caved and started having this affair with the married man two years ago. so i’m the other woman and i’m being cheated on. we have worked together for 18 and driven to and from work for at least 10 years.. but this one more time never really end, and thus starts the dynamics of breaking up and getting back together again which is the the hallmark of affairs with a married men and so detrimental to our self worth and peace of mind. but try your hardest to believe that it will get better eventually. it seems like i’m back at square one with my married man. though i think right now whatever you do you need to do it for you and not for you married man. but then i healed and i was in a better place, and i was trying to get pregnant again. he made it clear that we are both married and this is a distraction from current life. shortly after he married, he migrated to a neighboring country for work but some how he never gave up even when i rebuffed his suttle advances. this woman took the man i loved his traits and rules his life. his wife hadn’t caught us six months ago, if still want to be in it even though it was slowing killing my mental health…that’s what i can’t get past. married men develop a staggering degree of detachment to you and your pain, and they do not budge from their comfort zone to give you even a smidgeon of relief. week before last i was going out of my mind about this guy and did read your post many times to real in my besottedness (is that a word?, i have been involved with my married man since 6 months and have cut off communication since 3 days. jenny thank u for your compassion… its comforting to know someone else has been through this dating a married man that really understands because when your in this type of situation you feel so alone and isolated. you’ll find several readers who are honest and strong enough to share what it’s like to date and break up with a man who is married. the narcissist website, the bit about being in love with a married man, the 3 last sentences sum it up and are something like ‘my wife knows nothing about her, she thinks she knows all about my wife, neither of them know what i am’ – and that’s the core of it! i’d rather be me and walk away/him ignore me than the woman doing his washing, cooking, childcare, working flat out on the business (he’s a bully when it comes to that after all his business stories, i can see why the ex wife went mad in the end) then returning home to clean and iron his clothes…. started seeing an attached man (almost 4 long years now) and i was chased and chased every time about 4 months down the line when i tried to end it. to fiona, sim, littlefrenchie, melissa, rebecca, brown girl, forget me not, learning from you all, cathy, miku. we broken up so many times and got back together but now its really over. i be careful of how often i express any of my feelings…its just so dumb because i don’t even know why i’m continuing to entertain this when i know…he+me will never = we i wish i had other male friends i was dating. please, bern, do yourself a favor and put an end to it and find out the truth once and for all … believe me, it doesn’t hurt any worse than what you’re feeling right now, but at least you have a fair chance at getting and feeling better. however, i do know that there is no way that i would ever get back with him, should he ever want to. i laid against my husband while watching tv and even though my heart ached for my lover, i knew that my husband was mine; that i could hold him all night – unlike the stolen moments i get with my lover. i have never met a prouder man in my life. these married men treat us as their fantasy and we serve one purpose only and that is to massage their egos.’ve been with my married man for a little over two years. neglected to include, how physically sick walking on egg shells in my mind, when we weren’t together, knowing today, could be the day.’s very strong of you to stop the physical relationship, something i tried many times. i ended my relationship with my married man after two years. now i get the occasional phone call from work, if he is alone with the kids he calls but spends alnost the whole time sharing laughter and games with them. 2 months ago i'm glad i came across your article about dating married men, because i am considerding dating a wealthy married man. just commented earlier bc i’m in this hell of a roller coaster ride as well and totally feel like i can offer empathy and get some support on this one. i’m 19 years old and i am involved with a married man.’s ‘happily married’ likes being married, doesn’t want to leave his wife and yet here we are. just looking for the strength to get through the next few hours, days, weeks. too get nauseous wen i think about him n his wife!’s only been a few days so i assume it will get easier right? be prepared to face the reality that breaking up with a married man is difficult and painful – but the best thing you could do for yourself. is the note i sent to my married man when breaking up. you are so drowned in pain you can’t see light from day and i have been here where you are so many times when i was with mm….’m greatful that you ladies are sharing your stories, and experiences with these married men. i’ve tried so many times to break up with him but somehow we end up back together. i started liking him more so i did some digging online and found out hes married. a boss…but do you think its easier for you cuz you’re already married? are so many others, but these are a good starting place. however, he was married and although it is a loveless, sexless marriage it worked. throughout the 10 years of just knowing him, we never had a sexual attraction to one another in the way that would make either one of us want to get involved just for the sex. married man is bad with technology so he was always complaining to his assistant that something in his office wasn’t working and she was tired of it, so i offered to fix his new problem and went to his office. they are very upset they didn’t get charges on me. i’m just accepting the fact that i have to let my married man go…but it hurts like hell. she has to hear this ex pull up outside her house 3 times a week to pick us his daughter, he refused to say goodbye claiming ‘i’d break down and i don’t want to cheat on my new woman’ – very rich coming from him as he forgot to end it with my friend before he decided to start with this other woman!

How to Handle Loving and Dating a Married Man | PairedLife

Is It Ever Okay To Date A Married Man? | Annette Marie Westwood

i always see him as such a good person, he never promised me anything, he said i should go many times because he loved me and did not want to hurt me. married man and i have been messing around for a few months and i am beginning to get bored with this but no matter how bored i feel with it at times my life would seem emptier without him. i had been with my mm for nine years myself, but i am married too so there was no question of leaving our spouses and kids, it was just that he completed me in a way my husband never could, and we were more of friends than lovers anyway. i get sick of it, tell him i need space and totally blow him off. being in love with a married man has made me want to close myself off to all men but i feel in my heart there is someone out there for me. there are many other short blogs by this author and it would do you a world of good to educate yourself on what you’re truly dealing with. he was always available to see me during the week/text constantly/spent weekends together. going no contact is a great idea but we all handle things differently, so for me throwing breadcrumbs and hearing back, even 2 words once a day is helping me whilst i get my head straight(well, as straight as possible…i’m in utter shock at the moment it’s come to this and i realise he is a manipulative liar). right away, he texted my office manager to calm me down and text me again saying he will never stop working with me, i need to balance myself. i’ve been with this married man for 10years… it’s a long time to be hiding. seems like he’s unhappy in the relationship, though, and if things between us develop, i think he’d probably leave his wife and we could be together instead. i love him hurts me knowing that he gets "hurt" and hurts me more that i'm cheating on my boyfriend but i just don't love my boyfriend anymore i got used to him. these tiny little moments of love that i get to see him are not what i deserve. we constantly talked about growing old together and our lives and marriage would be the envy of everyone around us. holidays, birthdays, weekends alone… no dinners, holding hands in the street, taking vacations together, movie nights and sleepovers. but try your hardest to believe that it will get better eventually. i think it is a brilliant idea to get pregnant again, i feel it’s one of the best ways to get over a married man. i’ve been drinking heavily to escape while he gets the comfort and security of family. my married man ended it with me a month ago. don’t get hung up thinking he’s happy make you feel bad…because he’s not happy. this is how people get what they want out of life. after that i got rid of the music cd’s he gave me and little by little started deleting all pictures and videos i had of him, all that led me to pawning the necklaces he gave me (i should get something for them. he said it was the first time he (been married 23 years)cheated. i am no longer that happy, vivacious and innocent young woman he met. initially, i liked this man because of his voice, his spanish accent, then i thought it was hot he had a phd, intelligence is a turn on but once i got to know him, he was just as messed up as the rest of us. it’s horrible i can’t get my head around it and what’s worse is i can’t stop seem to think about him. once you can get out of denying yourself the truth, then you’ll be able to truly move on. i never would have thought or considered being with a married man. (32) met “my” married man (42) 4 months ago, when i started a temporary job. we get suckered back in because they keep saying they love us and miss us. have been involved with a married man for almost 12 years. and all his effort and doings are for her, all his plans are for her interest and their togetherness. in islam it’s allowed to marry more than one the thought of having another woman aside from me is killing me inside. a boss…but do you think its easier for you cuz you’re already married? draining is the word – i am totally exhausted for many reasons but underlying is the emotional stress that he put me though for 1. hope you can get to a place where you realize that you deserve better than this. it feels like death how this man is hurting me. it’s a pattern with all of us who have been attached to a married man. i knew i lived in this bubble about us the whole time and would daydream of us being really together and a small part of me knew that if that happened it would be tough, but i believe he’s worth it. had an unusual relationship because we were working in another city together. i told him if i get a whiff that he’s messing around on his wife again, i will be the first to fill her in with all the details. my ex-married man also said he would not have another baby, then changed his mind to lure me back in (it worked), and then said no again. nobody knows the extent of our relationship he and i have said it many times that outside people who know just don’t understand don’t understand how we feel about one another. if you are at the beginning of your affair and think you “will not get that involved” or “attached” think of my story! the other woman: who we are, what every woman should know and how to avoid us. every time, and every day, they’d leave or come into the building together, they’d walk 3′ away from each other, neither of them talking, and both of them walking like soldiers. throughout the 10 years of just knowing him, we never had a sexual attraction to one another in the way that would make either one of us want to get involved just for the sex. and make you end up feeling sub human and less than, to be treated like this. have been involved less then a year with a married man. i have eventide to see he and his wife in public so i could hurt myself and get over it. i feel played but i just wanted to let her know what he husband gets up to. he was crying and saying am the one he loves because for years he has not gone to africa to see this wife ,yes he cares for me and our child but i can’t live with some man who lied to me, almost getting married to me and he still cheat on me with other women on facebook and all. i don’t know will he really divorce…i just getting more and more tired and insecure. he made allthese promises before leaving that his love n feelings wil never change n he wil call me everytime he gets an opportunity n wil take me for a holiday once he gets a job blah blah blah. we are all probs pretty lucky we’re not trapped with a self-centered sociopath who only cares about himself and manipulates others. his new wife didn’t even live with him after they were married, she only came home on weekends. also get you regarding living with someone, this is why i wonder if i’ve been doing this for so long…but i also know i want a full time relationship with this man which would result in us living together, and i certainly don’t want past issues and problems with partners to stop me maybe experiencing a happy relationship. they aint married officially but they stay together when i confronted him he denied every thing he told me its me he loves me & stays with nobody. am also guilty of loving a married man and i am being very stupid and i need serious help.. it’s been four months broken up from my nine year relationship with a married man. he acted like everything i said didn’t make sense and he’d say he was getting more and more frustrated.. “i couldnt get out of bed” or “i was with my wife. it hurts me so much see that i allowed myself to get in this position. he married his wife because she was from a rich family, same religion, state, everything. we spend time together with our son as a family. i hope his wife gets a backbone and sees right through him. i want to explain to him that i want to be treated the way i deserved and that small things for him is already huge thing for me and we always end fighting before he will talk to me and get things fixed but now he is ignoring me and letting me the one to do a way to patch things up with him. today marks two weeks since i ended things with my married man and today is truly the worst day of my life. unfortunately, this man goes hot and cold with his emotions. he had messed around a few times but nothing more than a couple of dates so he was really upset with himself for allowing himself to get caught up with me long term. i do think men manage to just drop one thing to move on to the next more easily than us, but i also think it comes back like a boomerang to the them one day, while we took longer to heal but we will heal in the long term. many on this website, we understand very well what you are going through..The married guy i chose to get myself involved with was an old high school friend.’ve been seeing my married guy for a little over 1 1/2 yrs. don’t get sucked back in and to do that, firstly – stop telling yourself you can’t live without him. and i know that looking for validation from a married man after he decides to break from you) is optimism at best and stupidity at worst. ladies…one of good friends whom recently got married told me she wasn’t sure of what to say to me about my married man situation. you’re very strong, the thought of even going near my attached mans front door makes me feel ill, as he lives 70 miles away and i guess i’ve never had to face his reality (i’ve never been anywhere near where he lives) and like you, we haven’t been trying for a baby, but i’ve never fell pregnant so have spent the past 2 years having fertility checks, and now it’s time to make an appointment to plan a date…yet he hasn’t left? 15 months seems like a short time compared with some, at the same time, 15 months too many. i especially loved this part:this is not the loss you think it is- she gets a serial lying, cheating husband and you get to walk away, start new. he tells me every thing when we started dating he told me his a single dad when i found out the truth he denied ever staying with her but his never taken me to his house he tells me its me he wants to marry but his doesn’t act ive dumped him 5times im now tired he will apologise threaten to do a lot to himself i find myself forgiving him. my biggest fear has been that i won’t meet someone who i connect with in the same capacity because i, as well as many others, feel our married men are/were our best friends and soulmates. i do not want any strong beautiful amazing woman to go through i have or them and anyone else in our position. how do you let go of a hot successfull young married man you love and he shows he loves you im so torn i dumped him on 15. i dont know how to get over this pathetic break-up, but i dnt hav a choice. never enough of it and when there is i get brushed off or lied to but go on social media and find the real reason i was lied to. i have been feeling like if the married man in my life stubbed and broke his toe all i would do is laugh! what a/an *insert rude word here* – smile, things will get better! is so true, because even though we want to be with our married men full-time, we all know deep down, he would eventually do the same thing to us too! i get it well and i know how you feel. recently he has attempted to get physically intimate with my bff. on one hand i want to keep him around but on the other hand…whats the point, i will get hurt in the long run…. i hope to get over this initial painful period soon. specially married man is unavailable, and it makes him even more desirable (it’s natural thing, not our fault). i returned to work and his first week not being there (we’d worked together for 4 years, was a huge shock, we worked on pieces of the project together 60% of the time, that’s how closely we worked for a good 3 years of the time! i changed my attitude towards him we got closer , i let him move in my room lol, we just got super cool & i thought to myself like this too good to be true, he has a great career, not bad looking to be 42, tells me he has a daughter , & a house in texas, i said if u not married your gay, he denied being married for another month or 2, finally wen were were drunk coming from brunch heading home to cook for our friends i got it out of him, he married❗️ it’s my fault cus i should’ve broke it off then (i’ve never dated a married man), but he was like my only person who supported my decisions, & i just felt like he has my best interest in things, didn’t break it off so we lived together for 6 months whom he was here working, motivated me to get back in school, work etc got me back on track, but i’ve been feeling depressed since he left 3weeks ago❗️ i’m getting better but we are fading away, i know i deserve better & today i plan to just loose all contact, we said we were going to text & talk everyday but he slipping up! i don’t understand how they can hop back and forth from one woman to the next. it’s been horrific, i don’t live near family or many friends, he has it all, promised me the world and delivered nothing.’s been one month since the married man ended it with me and i haven’t contacted him since, neither has he. this led to me developing huge feelings for him and he me, only problem is he is married with a new baby too. give him everything he has never had all through this married life. its not about how many times you fall…pick yourself up and start again. they love the attention, that another woman out there wants them, craves them, needs them and they love that relationship, i will let her have me when i want to let her have me. she liked this guy at the pub, being a single mother didn’t get to go out that often (we live 200 miles from each other) but kept saying there’s this guy that kept turning up she liked. the least we deserve is to be broken up with in a kind manner. now i get the occasional phone call from work, if he is alone with the kids he calls but spends alnost the whole time sharing laughter and games with them.’m finally getting tired now because things have changed and the “i love you’s” has stopped..live the emotions and get everything out of your system, and one day you will have had enough. saw him last tuesday, ignored me wednesday and thursday, finally friday he responded and said i’m so sorry yesterday and wednesday we’re just not good days for me. how many of us are actually professionals trained to make that label? i found out last saturday that my guy of 6 months was married. i’ve tried breaking up with my married man (whom i happen to work for which makes it infinitely worse) for months. so it is up to me to get healthier and to leave him! it is so easy to get caught up but extremely difficult to get out! they have observed us and know what most ,not all woman are like when in love. that is the best for the families and children getting involved . even when you think you were dumped it doesn’t matter -its still getting back control. i want to explain to him that i want to be treated the way i deserved and that small things for him is already huge thing for me and we always end fighting before he will talk to me and get things fixed but now he is ignoring me and letting me the one to do a way to patch things up with him. we work together and it’s extremely difficult to not have contact with each other. he just needed to get another restaurant opened so he could give me the lifestyle he wanted for us both. all in all, im dating someone new and moving very slow with this amazong new man. you imagine what it’s like to actually live with a manipulative liar that cheats so so easily?)… and i started thinking to myself “do i really want to get into that again? i cried myself to sleep that night, only to get accused of “still going and lying about it”. the married man that if he doesn’t leave you alone, you’ll tell his wife! started seeing an attached man (almost 4 long years now) and i was chased and chased every time about 4 months down the line when i tried to end it. but it’s scarier to think about how living off the crumbs of your married man will destroy you. i started to find article, ask friend opinion and started to met other man. mind tells me that he is not the right one for me, that this is not going anywhere anyway, that is he now looking for the next woman to be with, that he is no longer thinking of me (or maybe, yes, he still does) and if i am going to go on with this it will hurt me even more., please if your in a relationship with a married reconsider and leave the relationship nothing good will come out of it. i love him so much plus he has 4 other kids with 4 other women plus i have his 2 year old daughter we had together! so many of us pass years in this fog, getting more and more involved until it just tips us over the edge.. i wud tel him how much my husband luvs me, stories of our weddin, dating & honeymoon, wud deliberately post my pics with husband on social network, so that he sees them n feels jealous. don’t know whether to trust him or not as he said that previously but didn’t do it when he get to his country. don’t get hung up thinking he’s happy make you feel bad…because he’s not happy. for all the crazy thinking we find ourselves having and the self loathing that comes, this is the addiction, the insane thinking, the attachment to the married man. i wish i had never participated in this lie to myself and to another woman. because i’ve moved on from my married man once in life and was great then fell back years later when we worked together again. there is so much that doesn’t add up and although he worse 7 days a week he always has done as his job was only ever temporary and he has a huge mortgage and business bills to pay – he made out for almost 4 years he worked non stop to leave but he’s working non stop to pay his bills, he is a business man and he is working hard now for lack of salary not for me! i’d say let his wife have his sorry ass, she, poor woman, is stuck with him while you are free if you can just see it as freedom. what other lies might he tell you once you are together? i have leanrt many lessons, and this i had no idea about before i met him. this man was the love of my life, whether i was truly his or not, but it no longer matters to me, what i was or wasn’t to him.. i have been seeing this married man for 2 years now, i am also married with two kids and a very good husband. i have worked with a married man who pursued me quite hard and confessed his feelings for me once he learned i was going through a divorce. that i will miss him (just like many of u), but this is not a sign of true love. he bought me things, took me places, we ran errands together, sought each other’s advice on lots of things. have been dating a married man for the past almost 11 years. i know, it has been 4 months since our dday and we were together for a year. i’m not even sure i can truly recover enough from this to ever be with another man but i can be on my own and with my kids no problem. after a year…3 years…5 years, you should be moving on and up…not no change or still apart and things getting worse! somehow, these married men tend to know how to do that to us and yet, the price is so high. keep focusing on you, read more stories and keep proactively working to get over him. married man is also working abroad so his wife isn’t a physical presence so to speak. do have respect for my married man in the fact that he did not play mind game with me. but he left me to cry by myself because he had to get back. married man feels like to meet the most beautiful, perfect man for you. he wanted to financially, and without chaos, get his son (prev. it is all different for everyone, but as sharon always said, please realise than most those married men if not all are narcissist and the only thing their want is their own happiness. am really do hoping that once i have my baby in my arms, i wouldnt think much about him anymore and i could get my life back on track. my married came over to visit on weekends or whatever time was available it was so wonderful feeling thst we belonged to each other. by the time it got to 9pm, i started getting a sinking feeling. he told me that he was married for 17 years but they are a product of an arranged marriage and they have 2 children but are just friends, more like roommates, they have had sex only once or twice a month if even that. i want you to get strong and be the woman you’re meant to be. i first found this site, i thought the exact same way, but i did convince myself my relationship with a married man was different, unique, not like all the stories i had read all over the internet. truth is, a man will change his life around and do anything to win you over if he truly does love you. good care of yourself, and run from your married man while it’s not too late! years but i already felt like i’ve known my married man for years. it’s his manipulation tactic to try and draw me back in, and i see right through it. the married guy i chose to get myself involved with was an old high school friend. and he didn’t even think that i deserve a decent breakup after bring together 9 years, he broke up by text with me two months ago. you actually spend you time chasing the am/mm (mine with his gf for 12 yrs so i say attached man), wanting their constant approval, apologising lots if you feel you’ve pushed them etcetc. thing is, when i do get my revenge, i won’t even care. but once, i used another account to look for his facebook updates and what i saw was his posts of their honeymoon trip to maldives with the hashtag #anywherewithwifeisbest, and another post that said “being with the one you love is the best thing in this world” – i broke down completely, who i am to this man? course your hearts hurt, of course you will have hard time sad days find your self crying and many other things but you gonna be alright. i have been so 2 minded and i am in a state where i feel like all i want are answers for his behavior and his treatment towards me and i feel like i will only get it if i contact his wife and find out for myself. but, i can't forget this man who has stood by me when he has no obligation whatsoever.. any suggestion from anyone who goes thru the same problems with married men & how to avoid it? i too wish my married man pain and bad things. dump that married man and live your life and find your own happiness with a guy for whom you will be a center of his universe. the guy who will truly love you one day will make you feel like the best woman in the world, not make you lose yourself and cry harder than ever. sometimes i stayed with him but i didn’t want to get myself too emotionally involved till he “really” divorce. when people talk about our married men as a drug, it’s the truth. don’t know whether to trust him or not as he said that previously but didn’t do it when he get to his country. you have found yourself in a relationship with a married man, you must protect yourself and weigh your options. tomorrow you will get to see him and all of this will feel better. married man is still with his wife after many many years. the married man i’ve been having an affair with – it’s been 16 years and a child together although he wasn’t married then. had emotional affair with a married man for 10 months now. dated a married guy for 9years…with him promising me marriage etc. you for sharing your stories about being involved with a married man. no matter how much you hope and regardless what your married man tells you. i never know how long it take to get over this thing, i guess i will need to wait and be patient. his wife was a actually the one who told me in 2014 they were still married. you need to go no contact now because this man will destroy your life and steal your soul. but then i healed and i was in a better place, and i was trying to get pregnant again. this man really loved you, wouldn’t he want what’s best for you and let you move on with your life? i was married for the first 6, i had never cheated before in my life, and i found it impossible to be so in love with my married man and going through the motions with my husband.!I am hurting right now and i miss married man terribly. i’m waiting until i feel the time is right to tell them what i’ve been doing… or perhaps one day one of these men will catch me with the other man and the problem will sort itself out. please help me understand and get thru this hard time.. he is a best friend of a family member of mine and he is married with a baby, i on the other hand should know better as am six years older than him, and have teens and am single, my choice split from the kids dad a year and half ago, never the right relationship for either of us. he and i have intense passion, every single time we are together. i cannot believe how badly a man who professed to love you can behave. i miss him but when i break down what i actually miss realize i don’t miss the long silences, always so scared that he will leave, actively searching for interesting topics of discussion, being ignored, tiptoeing around him, begging him to tell me he loves me…i realise that i always had a permanent pain in my stomach…. if you have a baby with this man, it will be very hard to cut contact with him, especially since he and his wife both have acknowledged the fact. i can so relate to what you wrote about chasing your married man and demanding answers, hoping to jog his conscience into recognizing how badly he is behaving to another living breathing human being who he actually claimed to love. the man who wanted kids with me and to spend our lives together. have been there, so i will tell you this: if you truly want to cut ties with this married man, delete his number (do not memorize it first), block him and delete him on all social network accounts. does he believe the wife’s words that i manipulated him for whatever reason and am cruel to have done that when he has small kids…. recently i’ve had some very honest conversations with my friends about dating married men, and i’ve realized that affairs are more common than i realize. thats y i say, the only way out of the mess is not to get into the mess itself! on the other hand, if i think he doesn’t love me anymore and he totally forgets me to come back to his wife, it equally hurts because i feel abandoned and left. they talk about us living together and making them complete…i’m told this constantly…that without me he is incomplete…. i believe that my married man was with me only coz he was alone in this city. this man has made me cut all contact with my husband( my husband left me, but soon after realized all his mistakes and was trying evergthing to come back to me), he made me put my life on hold for him, has kept me bound indoors…. i have skimmed many websites but i just can’t see many of these qualities in my married man?, give yourself a chance, i’ve been dating for many years before, and got nowhere, but had fun, lovely times and memories and spend normal weekends with these guys. just ride the pain and aceept that all days are not created equal. he tells me he is not happy at home and the only reason why he is staying married is because of his kids. i know i deserve more i just don’t know how to get to that point and just let go. i need to forgive myself because i was such an idiot to love a man like him, but i believe time makes things work. about a 16 year long affair with possibly a child with him, he wasn’t married when it started, he is military, he honestly is the only man i’ve ever allowed my heart to love.?Considering this man told me he doesn’t feel the same way and wants to be friends and after i told him i will open my heart and let him go his response was ‘thank you for understanding’… wtf is he on about…? i’m not the type of person who relies on counseling to get through my life, but with this situation, i had no choice. my married man still wants to be with me…but he doesn’t give me the same attention he used to…so im like why do you still wanna be here?'ve been dating a married man for a year, after been working with him for 5 years. like you all, i am a smart woman doing something so stupid. you went through so many hard situations that you deserve the best from now on! i have broken up with so many times and in so many ways i have lost count! he has 4 kids (set of triplets) and i have 3 kids (set of twins), so we connected in many levels. so it’s not like you can’t be in an affair with a decent man, but most often they never break up with you in a decent way, relationships end all the time but it’s only with married men that they are so long drawn out, torturous and exhausting. came accross that website and your comments as i was trying to get away from a difficult situation.. and i also failed to mention just last week he needed to borrow some money because his car broke down and yes i gave it to him but deep down i don’t think his car broke down i think i subsidised his first week of holidays because i know he gets paid next week. found this site so helpful, i was involved with a man who had another woman. last night i put my goodbye note together and sent it. he gets sad and asks if he can do anything. started dating seriously in 2016 mar he was the best man to ever happen to me he was 32yrs when we met . i wish i could tell every woman that is doing this to stop. he told me many things along the way but i was getting small clues that things were not that bad between them, and most important of all my gut was telling me. i’ve been sneaking around with this married man, ignoring my own husband who loves me more then anyone in this world. i worked out of town and went home to find my husband had another woman living in my house. there was nothing that he wouldn’t do for me and i never, ever felt like the other woman. we’re all going through the same hell, and it’s going to get better because all we did was believe in someone. this was a long term affair with many on then off moments but i was never in all the years able to call him anything else rather than the “love of my life”. broke down and cried once today, but every time i go to do it again i have to keep reminding myself of how many lies i have told over the years. my married man and i are no contact since palm sunday whenever that was. i wish i could tell every woman that is doing this to stop. men are very weak and it doesn’t matter how hard they try and keep it together they sooner or later crack but he wants it to be where he messages me when he wants to see me and maybe will text me here and there just to see how i’m doing. looking back, i see that my married man and i reconnected only a year after my marriage ended 2 years ago. of course it led to more and eventually us meeting up and sleeping together. please know we are all in this together, and it will get better. even the days following he never asked how my son was doing or even how i was doing knowing how little sleep i was getting. my married man has 3 children, one of whom is autistic. he’s never spoken bad about his wife he says she’s a great mom and that they get along well enough to coexist and raise the girls.’s what one of my readers said about breaking up with the guy she was having an affair with:“i became involved with a married man after my divorce,” says kay on how to end your toxic love affair now – before it’s too late. then, i learned on this site many others went through the same thing. we were together up until august 2016 (baby was born march) he broke up with me once again. maybe you can’t get rid of your hope and dream that he’ll leave his marriage for you. 2 months ago finding myself divorced after having been married for fifteen years, the last thing i wanted was to be in a serious relationship.. i feel if we love each other thn we shud b together n not cheat on our spouses. he never lied to me about getting a divorce, we go out for dinner and shows. i have blocked my ex married man on my phone the past two weeks and have been feeling better! and you have life in front of you, never forget that. i cried myself to sleep that night, only to get accused of “still going and lying about it”. i am sorry to have loved a man who wasnt mine, or who will never be. had been dating for eight months when i met chris. 15 round of iui and this time it took a surprise to me cause the sunday he said they did not think it did we had a great time together the tuesday night and wednesday night i got the facebook message (thats right a message) that is worked. this is why our relationship is easy to hide from others as people have seen us “together” for many years. he’s always telling me that he loves me and we should be happy coz he’s living his life with me and we’re spending more time together rather than with his family. be aware that not everything you read in these articles are going to be exactly what your married man does; however, i guarantee a huge chunk of it does. but the mask of deception fell off 33 days ago when he took his wife on a romantic weekend away to london. it’s all business and money (so he says), but for someone that cried 3 years ago saying he’s not sure how much more he could take of this evil horrible nasty spiteful gf of his…he is doing quite well considering they are together practically 24/7. i’m addicted and i can’t seem to get myself out long enough before i’m begging for more. he confessed – told me he was supposed to meet another woman but that it was cancelled. now 27yrs i met my married man 2015 when i was 25yrs he really pursued me for ayear but he never told me he was was still with the mum of his twins he told me he was asingle dad of twins. gets me is that like most people on here state their mm vowed to be with them and said they loved them but mine never. these stories and felt obliged to message,as i’m typing tears fill my eyes,been involved with a married man for only 2 months but i fell hard ,fell strong, wish i could turn bk the hands of time an be in control of this situation but unfortunately it’s not the case,i love him…. got back together – tried again at something -things go back to bad. but they are probably so entangled in their lies, control, and manipulations, just as we once were. remember that when you’re dating a married man, you see the ideal and perfect guy. exactly like the story, he says they don't sleep together, they don't talk (unless it's about the kids). have tried for over a year to have a child together. he wants me to believe we are soulmates who are supposed to be together, yet he will never leave. he ended up staying there instead of coming back home and said that he will clean up his mess so that we can be together but his kids need him. may you find your way through the darkness, especially before you get to the nine year mark. how dare he, i have been living by his way, in his side of the story for 4 years but now i finally get some backbone and our relationship is suddenly too much work and struggle. i’ve read tons of articles about cheating married men and fact is they will always choose to stay in a comfortable situation, even if it’s not what they want, because it’s easier. but i feel better knowing i'm not going to be responsible for hurting another woman the way i was or for breaking up a family. had to stay separate and then again we reunited and start staying together. i wish i had never participated in this lie to myself and to another woman. maybe he is and maybe he isn’t, these married men don’t really let on how they feel about you. if he couldn’t even get rid of her stuff, how could he be ready for someone new? may not be at a place yet (in your mind, heart and soul), for any of this to register fully, but trust me, you will gain all the answers and knowledge you need to know to help you get through this painful and difficult time. my biggest problem is that i love him and am just hoping that he gets the balls to leave." if you are not getting anything, you should ask the man to make the affair worth your time financially or move on. i too knew my married man before the affair started and had a close friendship with him. i’m hoping that if he gets in contact next year i will feel strong enough to finally talk and get my answers but for now, i miss him so much it hurts. 4 days i’ve finally talked to my married man but from me texting him. still try to move on but if i only knew why my married man dumped me, maybe help me to stop thinking about him. i’m a married woman that is desperately trying to end thing with a very clingy man. he was after something more sinister and wrong and he lured you into his fantasy just like all the other married men on this site. i believe i love him and now i want him to myself we share strong feelings for each other and he tells me he is not happy in his marriage, he looks after me pays my bills and we go out and sleep out sometimes and spend a significant amount of time together. is not an excuse for them and no woman should stay in a relationship like this. when he finally did get a new job, his boss had a little retirement party for him and his wife sat on the opposite side of the room from him, which showed absolutely no support for him, through the eyes of others. 15 years ago we were both unmarried, my then boyfriend kinda not really now husband was a heavy drinker. her married lover began to only see her for sex. we would write letters to each other and during one letter i asked him if he was married? if you did , you r either never been in love or u still not getting over with each other” . he tells me he is happily married and wants to know. he is still married and mad right now at me because i’m giving the silent treatment. i must say, like most, i want to believe that the love with married man is special, that is was destiny that we met and we are made for each other because it is so special between us. the harder it’ll be to break up with this married man and heal your broken heart. am happy for u to find the strength to get out of the situation. i have now went to the extent of getting his wife cellphone number…. just ended it for the 4th time with my married lover. reason i’m telling you this, and if you read the posts on here is so you get out as soon as possible. but he left me to cry by myself because he had to get back. horrific life once you fall in love with a married man and they won't leave. i don’t even want to talk to another man right now. m totaly pissed with him n wana get rid of him as soon as m prepared. that still is no excuse to get back into a dysfunctional relationship. we both are married, i have a young child as well. the time together was perfect (majority of the time) and as you described yours., the married man i have been seeing said and did those exact same things to me. this man is trouble, get away from him as soon as possible. across this after doing a search on how to break up with a married man. he knew i was getting to a place of being finished with the charade, and instead of me reaching the deadline i had set, he went out in typical narcissist fashion … giving me the silent treatment. if he starts sending you morning messages angelina, you still have got to let this man go. yeah it was nice to have texts saying how great i make him feel, to make out with someone who gave you butterflies (of course he did, it was all new and simple), and to fantasize about the day that we would be in that cul de sac home together, planting roses and strawberries and just making perfect, passionate eternal love every day (infatuation fu*ks you in the head). living in that me street makes you have a way to go back to him or perhaps get to see him unintentionally, perhaps you should change a place to stay or move to another area. however it does not seem so easy for them to keep a woman feeling loved, desired and happy. the other times we ended up back together when we ran into each other. i know that sharon and many other women gave me much needed strength, and i am so grateful for that. they fall into a pattern of being “friends” or “roommates” my married man was even moved into his own bedroom by his “wife”. me getting mad and fed up with it all has really helped me a lot this time. i believe she fell for a charming man, who made her feel like the greatest woman on this earth, just like he did me. why have you decided that aiming beneath the bar of common self-respect is better than saying no to a sexual relationship under the auspice of unattainable ‘romantic’ mirage? even then i was trying to be detached, knowing that this would be just sex, and he was the one that started saying i love you, that turned into i adore you, and he was the one talking about our future together. keep faith that this situation will turn around the blessing of god will manifest in your life. i’m married and have a good to great marriage and have been seeing this mm in hopes we could be together because he stalked me so i thought he really did want us together! if the conditions in the marriage are shaky, then the spouse is vulnerable to another human being meeting the needs they have been missing. have had so many gifts from my relationship and the ending of it, yes it has been soul breaking, but i have kept searching for where the meaning is in all this and am finding answers and it does help with the pain and grief. in the end the other woman gets hurt,sad and feeling isolated. and, know that you are helping other women break up with married men and heal their hearts. do i shut him out for good i still love him, his good to me but i need to settle down how do i go about this anyone in my situation where its you who wants to dump the married man whose so good to you. i think maybe it's because i haven't allowed another man in my life after my precious relationship or that i have been celibate for 2 1/2 years.: advice from the dating wreckage: how do i deal with a partner who’s sh*t in bed? i’m writing because i’m also dating a married man for two years. he was always getting threatening messages from the wife that he didn’t share with me but i could sense everything. we worked together and that has made the relationship even more stressful. as i’ve said before, we each have our own process to go through, but keep taking it a day at a time, and don’t get down on yourself. i was approached by 2 other men being dignified i said i wasn’t interested, i’m a smart woman i take great pride in my appearance. even the days following he never asked how my son was doing or even how i was doing knowing how little sleep i was getting. it is very hard and i have my weak moments throughout the day but i’m determined to get away from him. in all the time i have ever known him or have seen him with her (and there have been too many) i have never seen anything like that. i’ve met my married man, my soulmate, the love of my life more than four years ago. the last time married man and i were together was may 8th and he was pretty much voided me like the plaque. i hope this helps another woman and i’m open for encouraging words from some of you. when i arrived he was already crying, saying that i can’t leave him and he has been seeing all of these signs that we need to be together. injoinrelationshipsmarriagelong-distancephysical intimacyfriendshipdatingcrushesattracting a matedate ideasonline datingbreakupsdivorcerelationship problemscheatingfightingabusesocial skills & etiquettegender and sexualityrelationship advicereligiouslovecompatibilityastrologypersonality typesingle lifeconnect with us. on one hand i want to keep him around but on the other hand…whats the point, i will get hurt in the long run….. i’ve been dating this guy for over ten months now but we just broke up, he lives with his baby mama and they have a one year old daughter but he made me understand he is about to separate from her and that they stayed together because she got pregnant but that i should be patient for the baby to grow up a little . i cannot believe how many women out there have gone/going through the same thing with married men! if the conditions in the marriage are shaky, then the spouse is vulnerable to another human being meeting the needs they have been missing. getting him to pay things for you: do you steal? i don’t know how long you were in this relationship or how long your bit of progress has been but don’t get down on yourself. then i told him i will not do that its just i want to get even with him and not serious about what i told him but he is mad so mad that i told him ok do you want us to separate now?’s like when you’ve played a game too many times and you lose interest, completely. i started liking him more so i did some digging online and found out hes married. i dont know anything other than him and our restricted times of seeing each other and being together…. if this man really loves you it will kill him to think that he is robbing you of a good life and he will want to do something about it. i know, chances are, many of you don’t think the narcissist applies to you or your relationship (i was there … i know how you feel), but please just read the link below because it may just save you many years of unnecessary heartache and deep (usually incurable) pain. by reading so many of these posts here from other women here i do believe the mm in my life is a garden variety narcissist. told my married man when breaking up with him – that i deserve so f***ing much more than he is able to give me. may not be at a place yet (in your mind, heart and soul), for any of this to register fully, but trust me, you will gain all the answers and knowledge you need to know to help you get through this painful and difficult time. i’m excited to get my life back and return to my true self. i know what he liked about me was the fun loving energetic person and i can’t find that anymore. i mean literally all my life (our family had close ties) and i allowed myself to get so caught up with him because i knew him as a family friend and knew he liked me all my life that i neglected to really get to know him before i rushed into a relationship with him well one year later he moved out from my home into the next woman’s home. (read my sad story and those of so many others below)..learnt later he was married with a 2 years old, but we fell in love and i never let go. i feel bad knowing that i’m the other woman, but i just love him too much. she believes that married men are weak, that they don’t have the strength to choose you even if their heart wants to, for whatever reason. nobody knows the extent of our relationship he and i have said it many times that outside people who know just don’t understand don’t understand how we feel about one another. i’m in almost a 2 year long affair and it’s been off and on so many times and we both can’t seem to let each other go completely.’s married, which might add chemistry and excitement to your affair. choose you above all else, and it will change everything- your relationships with your self, kids, your married man will feel it, your family, friends , your colleagues, everyone. informed me monday he’s leaving his wife, they have agreed their marriage has been over a few years and staying together for the sake of their daughter isn’t fair, she didn’t cry or ask if they could reconcile. 11 months ago my husband aged 57 we have been married 35 yrs had an affair last year with a 30 yr old single mother he knew from work.’s married, which might add chemistry and excitement to your affair.’ve been in a relationship with a married man for nearly 2 years and i’m devastated right now. thankfully i am also married and would stay married (but i did have a foolish thought that i would do anything to be with u). told my married man when breaking up with him – that i deserve so f***ing much more than he is able to give me.. these are not the actions of a man that cares, he holds on for someone to lean on, but at this very moment he is happily at home with his daughters and partners, and will never ever admit it. i promise you though, by educating yourself, you will see things more clearly and get better xo 🙂. i wish more people would read the narcissist website i posted so many times, but i also understand that everyone has to learn in their own way, my prayers are with you, asking for strength, light and guidance as you find your way out of the mess that he dragged you into. i never thought separating myself from a married man would be this hard. i’m sure most of us can relate to when we were not even close to being in a position to thinking about another man, let alone going out with one! i have never been treated as badly by any man before in my life. have tried everything ladies before -from phasing him out slowly while getting the fix (still hurt) – pleading for him to try to change, begging, guilt ridden messages (he hated those), even showing him proof i’m leaving my husband. i just ended a 4 year relationship with my best friend and love, we are both married to other people. even when you think you were dumped it doesn’t matter -its still getting back control. ladies, i have a few questions…how many of you really want to be exclusive with your married man? it’s his manipulation tactic to try and draw me back in, and i see right through it. but whatever you do, do not reach back out to the married man. more true than we still probably even believe ourselves, but we’re getting there. we talked about the future dogs we wanted to get, our future kids, growing old together…. we only saw each other in a group environment (we work in the same office building and would often all go for drinks on a friday) so it was very casual friendship, not someone i saw regularly or made plans with. just tell the woman i have no idea what u are talking about.!As is the case with most of us, the married men will never say clearly he doesnt want to b with u anymore cos they want to keep us hanging! you fell prey to this man because you were broken. unfortunately, after our marriage, he reverted to cheating but for many years, he behaved and gave me what i wanted. we shared some many things in common and he opened to me about his past and i opened to him for the first time in my life. i have been feeling like if the married man in my life stubbed and broke his toe all i would do is laugh! we get together and for four years i don’t let him touch me. i know i got myself into this, even though me kept at me over and over after i told him no so many times. i told him he’s married, we live in the same building and i kind know his wife. i told him that i am sorry and that i apologise to him and i apologise to god for having any contact with him knowing full well he is married and that i am not ending all contact for us both to get on with our lives. people who watched us when we weren’t doing anything in the beginning commented that we had a connection (these people don’t know we are together now) so i know it wasn’t all in my head. are so many others, but these are a good starting place. however, the minute i was done i went straight to his game, i was the only woman out, actually i was the only person out there watching them get their butts kicked. even though i sleep over at his home and sometimes we vacation together, i want him to say i will put you before any other woman. you isolate because there are not many you can confide in without being judged and you spend most of your time alone with him as it is difficult to be seen in public together. but, hearing stories of woman that continue to see the married man, i just could never do. you told me that these married men are not really happy but they are. i don’t want to ruin our lives, and i want out so badly, i just keep getting sucked in with crumbs because it hurts to be without him. just just from what you’ve said in your message alone, i can almost guarantee your married man is one, just as mine was, and everyone else’s is.. i do have good willpower so i’m hoping it will get me out of this impossible situation. they lie to get what they want and once they have, they don’t bother anymore. i know it is hard, often we only feel we are someone in their eyes, and we forget the rest of the world. i yearn for a real relationship with an available man. later in 2016 i contacted my married man, i had never really got over him and just needed to speak with him.’s only been a few days so i assume it will get easier right? he and i have intense passion, every single time we are together. i know i wana get rid of it but scared to undergo the therapy, as well as worried abt the repercussions. why cant she just find out and he get what he deserves. i knew i lived in this bubble about us the whole time and would daydream of us being really together and a small part of me knew that if that happened it would be tough, but i believe he’s worth it. we’ve only been together a few times but i see the emotional drain it’s causing me. one of the problems is that living in the same town, so close, meant all we could do was to meet at my house for a few hours when he could get away. do things you couldnt while you were seeing the married man. so right now i’m just trying to get through it. now, how do i get out of love without feeling the weight and guilt of losing my soul mate…? marine/cop working long hours…so the work, wife and lover became to much for him to manage. 10 months ago i was an other woman to a married man who got a child recently. not every person is a good human being and there are lots of nasty people out in this world, who are just nasty and not necessarily have a personality disorder. like you are some woman who understands every bit of his foolish acts that you will be there waiting for him. affair with another woman’s husband is painful, yet you can’t let him go because you love him. just know how you as a woman would treat a man that you truly believed was the one… more than likely we wouldn’t let them just walk away..Like liz’s married man using his daughter, my attached man has never been able to do that as he left his first wife and 2/3 yr old, so he has always used his business – his business he should have dropped when he realised he wanted me 3 years ago (so he said). a soon as one woman says something he does not like, he is on to find another one. it has taken me many months but i know now that his love for me was about what i recognised in him that he needed to feel loved for. i get in my moods of “if he do not contact me, i will not contact him” he told me on several occassions that it seems like im too busy for him. i’d say let his wife have his sorry ass, she, poor woman, is stuck with him while you are free if you can just see it as freedom. my married man is my colleague and we work together in the same ward, thank god he is not my boss. i changed my attitude towards him we got closer , i let him move in my room lol, we just got super cool & i thought to myself like this too good to be true, he has a great career, not bad looking to be 42, tells me he has a daughter , & a house in texas, i said if u not married your gay, he denied being married for another month or 2, finally wen were were drunk coming from brunch heading home to cook for our friends i got it out of him, he married❗️ it’s my fault cus i should’ve broke it off then (i’ve never dated a married man), but he was like my only person who supported my decisions, & i just felt like he has my best interest in things, didn’t break it off so we lived together for 6 months whom he was here working, motivated me to get back in school, work etc got me back on track, but i’ve been feeling depressed since he left 3weeks ago❗️ i’m getting better but we are fading away, i know i deserve better & today i plan to just loose all contact, we said we were going to text & talk everyday but he slipping up! i cannot get over the disbelief of how much a man can change, how he can just cut you dead and go on with his life, and you start questioning all the things that you ever shared together. we worked together and that has made the relationship even more stressful. initially, i thought this would allow us to be together. a soon as one woman says something he does not like, he is on to find another one.’ve heard the i don’t want to leave my child so many times, i ended my 14 year relationship with my children’s father i was so unhappy. i did find out he was still married eventually and was shocked and gutted but it was too late. there’s something wrong about that sentence because no princess would be kept in the dark and be given such pain by a man. he essentially sent me an email that said that he has tried to contact me but could not get through as my phone was blocked. as for me, i pray i will get stronger a little bit at a time….. one wud not do this to his enemy also, out of humanity we even ask our enemy if they r keeping well. clearly am not expressing myself enough that there is a way to get “through” the heartbreak and pain … it’s the narcsite website (hg tudor – author). this point, i honestly can’t say whether this man truly loved me or not, but i can say without hesitation and doubt that i do love myself and i am getting stronger by the day. think about how you were before the married man and during the affair. they will go back to being unhappy and miserable while we get the chance to be set free. is a bad idea even if the guy is not married. time flies, do not waste it chasing a man who has not left his wife. he only cared for me as long as i was in his safety bubble of narcissism, those little gifts were in his safety net of not getting financially caught, he did the max he could to keep me nearby, interested, romanced, somehow that made him feel like the macho man. it’s so hard because my man is truly my best friend. my mm has cheated before he told me he was in love with the woman and she was married as well. we spend so many days and nights together which makes so hard for me to let go.. lol, so yes here is my pattern, he contacts me 99% only through text message and it is usually if not always on either of a friday, saturday evening and late in the evening when wife gone to bed or he in his friends having a beer or whatever and it is the same he will say he loves me, he misses me, i’m his soulmate, he cannot stop thinking about me, i’m such a babe (his words not mind ha), how did we come to this, blah blah blaaahhh blah blahhhh. anyway, you will be blown away by what you learn about your married man and yourself. you hear the hate which they talk about the side chick or the other woman. i couldn’t call him when i wanted to, i saw him once or twice a week based on his schedule, we couldn’t go out in public together, he never met my friends and family, etc. and this is the problem with us women, we are empaths and caring people, we may go in thinking we want what the man wants and that we can handle it, but we can’t. i think when you finally have had enough you get mad instead of hurt. i am involved with a married man and we have been together for a year and a half.’s so insanely crazy how these married men have caused so much damage without us even knowing it at the time? i had to get out and make my own closure, and leave the poor deluded wife to her own resources. you can also go to the website listed above and just get started reading his blogs. i don’t think it’s unusual that you’ve endured many arguments and silences. like you are describing my relationship with my married man. i would end up spending years of my life with a man who in reality is never going to leave. see that you are texting/e-mailing your married man yourself, and he either responds or not.’m just wanting some advise on how you handle working with your married man still… mine is my boss and we have been together for 15 months he is so very manipulative i’m not aloud to wear certain things not aloud to talk to other males he makes me feel if i do that kind of stuff i am the wrong kind of person and his love for me fades when he sees it so i try hard to do everything right…i am also married for 4 years with a young daughter i don’t know how i got myself into this situation but i know i have to stop it now as my mm has told me he and his wife are going to try for another baby and it devastates me a free everything he says to me how much he loves me and if he could he would marry me right now if he could but he will never leave because of his son, i have said we are stopping this when he sayers trying for another baby with his wife i will not put myself through that i have to draw the line somewhere or i will have no self respect, it hurts that when i gave him this ultimatum he either doesn’t try for another baby and keep me or loose me and try for another baby, he has chosen the latter and it kills me! how many times had he told me he was so very “cool” with her? i said its over- 2 days later we were back together and back to his old self. he has brought you down to a place where you no longer feel like you can get up. this married man likes having his wife at home and you as an extra perk on the side. wrote me so many messages that he really loves how about he formalizes our relationship .! he has actually stopped me dating in the past, now he understands, but of course he does, he is running out of lies to keep me! ended up getting stranded because my friend’s phone had died so he said i could stay in his spare room because his fiancée was away for the weekend. i’m stunned by the similarity- it’s as if these men have all read the same manual, isn’t it? he and i work together and run into each other very rarely but we do. and wife and kids never get short charged, however he may profess to hate her( and he does, always). for every single one of us there is a new, bright and free future, with a man who will love us and for whom we will mean the world! he’s a facade: you know enough about him to give you some insight into his personality and life, but you’re not involved with the real man. i’m going to post an excerpt from the book so you can get an idea of the author’s thought process.. but i dont need a man to make me feel thatway. don’t forget how strong your live to your self is. for extramarital affairs: make it worth your timeask yourself this question: "what am i getting out of dating a married man?! of course my guy said he never did but honestly i would not want to be married to a man like him if you think about it. i've been friends for years with an old co-worker who is now married with 3 children. you are so so blind at the time as it seems like a fairytale (yours has already started by you mentioning ‘we get on great’) – trust me…your mm will seem like your soulmate and best friend, i assure you he is not. years when i was with my ex, but when with my ex i said so many times i can’t carry on like this, i wanted commitment. falling in love so hard and getting out so easily while i cry almost everyday and my life is all messed up”? have been married for 6 years and having an affair for almost 5 with another married man from work.. i'm exhausted from this, utterly utterly exhausted (it's funny as thought this earlier before buying the book…and in the book…tudor mentions when you realise he's a narcissist or has some of the many traits, you'll suddenly feel exhausted! but it was with a married man which means there isn’t a person in my life that i’ve been able to talk it through with, and i’m still going through absolute hell. he always seems to find some way to get back in. we flirted heavily with each other, he always had to touch me, do things for me, etc…our co-workers and manager noticed but didn’t say anything. after many sleepless nights, feeling horrendous, i was really good and didn’t contact him (yes i keep checking my email but at least didn’t reach out! and like you, for someone who claims they don’t sleep together, eat together, no connection any more and except business and kids there is little comms…i now find it very hard to believe! it’s the happiness you derive becoz the guy dumped you to get married to the other girl and when he says he misses you u think you are the priority in his life and you mean the world to him. he is married and lives in the same building as i do. lot of people can say all the negative things they want about getting involved with married men/women, but in the end, i believe we all (hopefully) learn valuable lessons. if you decide to get involved, i would say to get something, prferably a lot, out of him first. hope that i would get to meet his son and daughter and his grandchildren. no more wearing dresses because he “couldn’t be with someone who dressed to get looked at” no more visiting my grandma’s house or my 2nd oldest’s home because “he (my ex) might be there. am has wasted the most important years of my life, i can never forgive him, my chances of having children are running low at 38 yrs old and i could have spent the past 3 years dating to find the right partner rather than him manipulating me. don’t get me wrong, it still hurts at times, but at least i can see the truth for what it is and i am no longer in denial. many things she didnt know about him, or he never thought to share. met a married man at work and he came after me with so much charm and enthusiasm that i could not resist in the end. , its not going to be easy, at first but if you hold on, it will get easier as you see it through and in that gain strength. we are always spending time together inside the house and even doing activities outside. i love him terribly but we just can’t be together right now. i am 38 years old im married but my husband is gay thou he is in denying it to me all the time. i am partly in love with the fact that he is so successful-we work together. as i tell him hes married and his reply is i know but what can i do, i answer i cant tell you what to do you have your own mind then the conversation ends. then one fine day he told me that he couldn’t see me with anyone else and wanted to get very serious with me. thr wer talks abt him havn an affair with another woman at out workplace, but he assured me that it was false n i believed him, but now i think it might b true! you are right…we have always been the 2nd option to the married men. it was uncomfortable and awkward but i held it together until he left and then of course broke down into tears. anyway, this rollercoaster ride is already taking me a loop. my problem is i cant be the other woman it kills me so much despite my mm being so good to me supporting me financially denying he stays with any woman telling me he loves me soo much and showing it to me i want to let it go because i want the number one spot not second. if a man wants you, nothing and no one will stand in his way! you start to realize that you as a woman want more, you need more affection, not just what he gives you when he can. no man is worth it (nothing in life is either). you isolate because there are not many you can confide in without being judged and you spend most of your time alone with him as it is difficult to be seen in public together. i love him so much but last dec 26 we had a major fight which i told him i will talk to his wife ( thou i will not do that, just want to get equal because of all the nasty things he told me) he was very angry and shouted every hurtful words he can throw to me like don’t you dare, you don’t know the implications of what you just told me, this will be the last time that you can bother me etc etc. he was engaged at that time but not married yet, we both knew it’s not gonna work but the emotion between us was too strong we couldn’t hold back. he was always available to see me during the week/text constantly/spent weekends together.’d also like to add i know a few exceptions, but the most recent didn’t work out so well and my poor dear friend i’ve known 35 years since nursery had an awful time recently to the point she doesn’t want to go near another man. they are the ones who end up stuck in their unhappiness while we can break free and do have the choice to be happy again, with or without a man in our lives., the married man i have been seeing said and did those exact same things to me. i am not sure why i havent found the strength to get out…. dec 30, 2015 was our last passionate moment…his wife found out we were together, he told her everything. trying for the umpteenth time to break off a relationship of over 10 years with a married man. i think it was just, like all the rest of these attached and married men, they deny a normal life at home but it’s exactly what they have, and why we get pathetic little breadcrumbs. just looking for the strength to get through the next few hours, days, weeks. we set up a secret blog to exchange comments and entries, but now he doesn’t go there anymore, but yesterday i couldn’t help it, i’ve sent a comment to that blog, saying that i’m hurt because i saw the picture of him kissing his wife’s belly and how could he walk away so easily and effortlessly after everything we had together. perhaps it is not quite the same for the younger married men who either enjoy the chase, or those who are dominated by their high level of testosterone or the ones who are just missing the spark when drowning under responsibilities of raising children. i too knew my married man before the affair started and had a close friendship with him. he will never commit to you, the moment he gets in hot water with you, he will turn back to his wife in such a way that it will leave your head spinning. believe me, i know the pain your going through and i absolutely promise you it does get easier with each day that passes.

Disadvantages of Dating a Married Man - YouTube

you still struggling to break up with your married man? i am 38 years old im married but my husband is gay thou he is in denying it to me all the time. more than that i’m always scared that if my boyfriend gets to know about this, he might break up with me. i don’t know how to get off him as he said he only loves me and want to have our kid as he doesn’t have one by his own. this married man likes having his wife at home and you as an extra perk on the side. it’s hard to believe that so many of us have the same similar story. the comments below about breaking up with a married man. he is a generous man and has always been, but he loves me… i love him… if i need anything he will always be there (if he can) and i will always be there for him. i for some reason cant get myself to do no contact. its so simple for these disgusting married men to cheat on their wives & in the process break hearts of the girlfriends & then return to their usual life. they have 3 children together and i never wanted to disrupt their family. hd wasn’t in the office yesterday but couldn’t get him off my mind. i know he (being what is considered a greater narcissist) knew exactly what he was going to do and how he was going to manipulate me into turning my own world upside down. look at us all, all of us in the same pain, they rarely chose the other woman. i went back to my old ways and we ended up in bed together. there is no other way to get out of relationships like these except for total and absolute no contact. to amazon and download some of hg’s books (all under , us):Sitting target: how and why the narcissist chooses you. last thing my coffee partner said, was not to idealize the relationship, or the married man. today i couldn’t get up to go to work..Iv been in affair for 5 yrs, and iv just ended it , his reply was i want your cunt, well says it all doesn’t, it, no i love you, please dont leave, for him it was just sex , as in the 5 yrs he never ever bought me anything, took me out, no birthday cards nothing, and the stupid fool i was i let it happen, because i loved him, of course he said the usual things that he lived in a sexless marriage, that he hated her, but never said he would leave her, they still had their holdays together, and there is no children, since i ended it its, over a week now haven’t heard a word since, and i never will contact him, what a waste of soul destroying 5yrs, never ever will i become involved, with a married man again, and the stress is unbelievable, if my children ever found out that i had been involved with a married man they would disown me , as their father had affair, which broke up my marriage, well onwards and upwards, is all im going to do, there is someone, free out in the big wide world, and if i dont find him, im going to enjoy my stress free life.)… and i started thinking to myself “do i really want to get into that again? see i get better and he tries to sneak his way back in! dating married men allowed me to avoid commitment and avoid all the snares of falling in love. it has taken me many months but i know now that his love for me was about what i recognised in him that he needed to feel loved for. i don’t know why i married him my heart has been elsewhere all this time. i don’t think it’s unusual that you’ve endured many arguments and silences. i was also married when it first started and unhappy in that marriage. it won’t be easy getting away, but it’s exactly what you need to do, because staying will only get worse … i promise you. a year later married man resurfaces ( there was rare but occasional contact, openly during my marriage) and we decide to meet. how many people do you know who post happy, loving photos while being unhappy or flat out miserable? can he get off scott free and not let it affect his life yet let it ruin mine. i did get him to admit feelings but they’re definitely not as strong as the ones i have for him. the ultimate slap on the married man’s face wud b wen i leave his city without even meeting him once!. yet in the last couple of weeks i have been reeled straight back in again with the nonsense talk of how much he loves me and doesn’t know how to get rid of these feelings for me so when i ask him straight out what i was to him? in march 2016 i started dating a great guy and, after a final night, i also managed to stop the friends with benefits relationship. started seeing each other 8 months ago, it was always to be sex and he said he couldn’t make me any promises that was the mantra of our relationship. i am leaving mine so i know it is complicated but you need to make things straight, for yourself, your husband and the married man. he tells me he wants to be with me, but he is married and has three children and this is the excuse i always get, the children… they are now teenagers, i feel guilty… i want to settle down and have normal things with someone who really wants to be with me… and as much as i know he wants me. would go on trips together and have the most wonderful fun times together where we both said we are madly in love and can’t live without each other. please protect your hearts ladies…married men are quick to steal our hearts and leave us in ruins! when we reconnected he was 35, in an unhappy marriage of 2 years (no kids) and i was also married at 31, with one 4 year old child. god will never open the door for you for what you truly deserve until you close the door with the married man. i have never admitted to be in love with my mm and i don’t think i am but my point is, don’t get involved with an mm, it changes you and not for the better. your married man also has a void so that when he feels he needs you to feel that void, he contacts you. you’re a strong woman and i believe in you! i hate being like that bit dang… i have to say that reading popo message was very encouraging because i’m tired of hurting and feeling like this…i couldn’t even sleep friday night because i was so upset seeing him with his wife. how could a man live in a world with no love, or intimacy?, we were messaging up to 11, then he stopped answering, and noticed he wasnt looking at my messages, and then noticed he had un installed the app, as i kept sending messages, i haven’t heard a word since, absolutely nothing, i even said just message me, to let me know what has happened, for peace of mind, but nothing, iv been strong with the no contact rule, but stupid me , went back on my word, i just cannot believe a man can do such a thing, in so hurt, and have spent most of the day crying, how cruel, can a person be, i feel he has just played me, for the fool that i am, my feelings at the minute is also anger, to tell his wife , as i have pictures etc, to prove everything, but whats the point its obvious, its his revenge, for me ending it in the first place, so now i can see what a weak narssic man he is, hasn’t got the guts to say sorry but iv changed my mind, well iv definitely made up my mind no more married men they are the pits, if i had stayed strong, i wouldn’t be having this hurt and humiliation, and the trouble is most of them get away with it. you keep your married man as your contact, i can assure you that tomorrow, or in a week or two, even three, you will feel an irresistible urge to initiate contact, or worse, he contacts you first which will make it even harder for you to keep silent. he said he hopes he get to see me this weekend but i dont think i even want to see him. i’ve been single since i was born abd never been involved with a man until my married man. i was involved with a married man for nearly 5 years, so i know pain and suffering, and i know how hard it is to get away, but you have to start someplace and i’m doing my damndest to lead all of you in the right direction. he done many things for his wife which i only found out last week. with all the evident…she still stay…as far as i know when his wife at work, he fool around with many women…. you still struggling to break up with your married man? and he gonna pay for all the pain you feel now but you don’t have to even think of that miserable man. years with a man i had known from work and became extremely good friends with, for the first 10 years previous to our relationship beginning. from my experience, my married man ended things with me twice and that feeling of being let go and abandoned is absolutely awful. i have been with my married man for 2 years as well and he says all the right things but his actions don’t match his words. keep focusing on you, read more stories and keep proactively working to get over him. first, i thought to tell her truth after we get intimate. the thing is, this man, he was engaged when we met. my dilemma is getting this young lad out my head…. even though it sucks and it’s so painful…the feeling that you get from leaving them is a little rewarding and helps the pain a little. if i acted bothered when they went out on family vacations or i’d see pictures of them in together and get upset, he’d always turn it around on me and i’d end up apologizing, promising never to complain again. hugs to all…get out there and date when you feel ready just go for it….! words have been used forever to manipulate women wether the men are married or single. it’s just plain wrong to block/ignore from the get go. my recommendation is to get touch with yourself, take back your power and remember this part of your life will pass in time. no stalking facebook, don’t do things you used to do together. feel i am in love with this married man, in the beginning he will call me often but those calls and texts have been little. darleen would tell me that if he could leave his wife for her, he certainly would and that her man often showed great concern for whether or not she was cheating on him. i'm guessing that she likes me too because i did get kissed back that night or was she just too polite to reject me outright? i have my ex-married man blocked, but sometimes unblock him so to see if he has is last online status shown. i was doing fairly well until he stopped by on wednesday and then the feelings erupted friday when i saw mm and his wife.? or just wait till i give birth cos for sure my baby will help me get this easier to get over with. always knew being with a married man would be heartbreaking and i was right. but although he left work 2 months ago, here i am on a friday night alone, him at home probably watching tv and laughing with the gf…having conversations with her after putting their young child to bed (all this of course he denies). used the names and emails you used here, and signed you up to get follow-up comments. finally after the last time we were together and he didn’t even acknowledge me the next day i told myself enough is enough. i’m so glad to know i’m not alone in this situation because they are so many of us. recently he has attempted to get physically intimate with my bff. stay strong, surround your self with good people and don’t give up and don’t go back, i have gone back so many times, and then you have to start all over again. we all want to be with our married men for one more time? we have had many fights, many situations where we could have torn apart. you do… please don’t ever go back to this man. i guess it depends on the situation youre in with your married man. there is too much pride there… we didn’t think of this and the consequences beforehand and i know why. get into a workout routine if you aren’t already active regularly. they will become less frequent and eventually stop all together even though the hurt may still be there in your heart. 15 years ago we were both unmarried, my then boyfriend kinda not really now husband was a heavy drinker..i am so low at the moment … i definitely have more bad days then good due to this relationship… but it’s like i’m addicted to the high even though there is very few …i want to say it’s done but i don’t have to strength to walk away … or if i said it was done i would want him to fight to get me back but i don’t think he would … i known actions speak louder than words …’i just want him to make me happy … not because i ask him to but because i matter…! my story is a little different where a married man took advantage of me. i am married too and my marriage is very very troubled. it’s early days (a few months) but i forgot what it was like having undivided attention of a true and single man who puts you first and can text and call anytime! let us know how you get on…make those demands…give him a deadline and in the meantime stop trying for a baby because your child deserves 2 parents or at least a father who is not in denial. my dilemma is getting this young lad out my head…. dont think i realized how difficult this whole “breaking up with a married man” thing would be! my married man couldn’t bear it if i so much as scratched myself or bumped my head but now i think he won’t even blink if i drop dead at his feet. do you handle it when u know ur married man is still having sex with his wife? being with my martied man for many years and being head over heals in love with him, i can tell you now that i hate him, i hate him and not because we are not together as i never expect us to be but for his constant lies, deception and consciously playing with my emotions. married men only want sex and the only place you can go with him is the bedroom. any tips you could give me to get through this would be so appreciated. we actually both go back and forth about wanting to be together, we were not having sex at this time. he just told me that he found out today that he will be going home (he’s from out of state) and when he returns after 20 days he will be staying elsewhere, i couldn’t believe how much this hurt me, i found out about his being married a week ago and thought i had just accepted that he was a no-go but figured that i would leave him on my own timeline, this sucks! amanda, when i was reading your story, i started crying! so u could get a little peace with your wife. not shared my feelings with him and only weeks earlier i knew i was in love with this man. i’ve been dating a married man for nine month and this relationship has gotten out of control. my married man broke up with me on valentine’s day so imagine how im feeling. we were together before he met his wife and we still “see” each other on a regular basis. i can’t get up today and i’m so sad…i can’t wrap my mind around the fact hat i’ll never have him again, and it’s hard to imagine that all the special moments we shared are now just memories. my married man is also my boss and the highs and lows are dreadful. when he told her he wanted to get the divorce started she asked him to hold off as they shouldn’t make “rash decisions they might regret later”. when we deny them what they are used to getting from us (the ‘quick fix’ we provide) they withdraw. but why i gave up someone that was not mine and did not really care (although he said i was one of his best friends why could he block me so easy) now how to get thorugh the next days we would say good mornign or hope you have a good day every day or every other day. am with a married man for coming 18 months and am trying to get out of this relationship. i would like to qualify this statement by saying that few men set out to bed a woman and lie about never leaving their wife. read sitting target (on amazon) and you will find out why. my mm basically doesnt want to do this anymore bc we are both married. and maybe ever anti-depressants but there is no shame in needing all the help you can get! started seeing each other 8 months ago, it was always to be sex and he said he couldn’t make me any promises that was the mantra of our relationship. to single men, there are thousands and many nice ones. 8 months ago this article open my eyes and helped me with a struggle of dating a married man for 9 years. our 3 years together is exciting and electrifying but lately we have lots of fights he is blaming me that even the smallest things is already a big issue to me..So i spent almost ten years to the day with a married man i thought i truly loved and wanted im sure ive got to be one of the biggest fools but im trying to forgive myself for that., no, you are not alone mara 🙂 i see yours relationship with married man is pretty short too (at this point, hopefully it will end soon for your own happiness! hes the worst human being in the history of mankind! i’ve been dating a married man for the past three months. and it seems easier for married men to move on. a narcissists (please read poster ‘sharon’ and what she has to say over many threads and replies, a few below this one) will seek your attention in anyway they can and manipulate you. your comments, i’ve been meaning to write here for a while, but the festive season and getting back to dating has got in the way! please girls and guys, do not get caught up in this web of destruction and deceit. long story short……he’s had a child, i was forced to abort mine cause he said he didn’t want anymore, he got married, my marriage is still rocky and i’m stuck lonely sad depressed and wanting to be loved. i have started dating again and although i feel lost and odd, after 3 years of being alone, it’s nice to say i’m off out tonight on a 2nd date with a single (younger too! during the time i knew him and when i was single, i held myself back from dating other people because i never felt a connection like the one i had with him. but once, i used another account to look for his facebook updates and what i saw was his posts of their honeymoon trip to maldives with the hashtag #anywherewithwifeisbest, and another post that said “being with the one you love is the best thing in this world” – i broke down completely, who i am to this man? how do i leave the man that i am so in love with. you're young, attractive, available and single - so many nice features about you - what is not to love and being loved right? i’ve tried breaking up with my married man (whom i happen to work for which makes it infinitely worse) for months. the many posts i’ve read on this site, as well as what’s happened to me personally, it’s clear that there have been numerous lies told, promises broken, silent treatments given, guilt-shaming, blame-shifting, false or vague explanations, etc. felt the same with my guy but i even met him when i was married! later, he texted my manager again to check on me and told her he can’t show his emotions otherwise i get crazy again. have anyone else done some therapy to understand why you are dealing with a man that is unavailable and why it is hard to let go ? have been in a 4 year affair this summer with a married man who is older than i am. and it was because i’d be stressing, nervous about getting his, “are you still there” text. because i’ve moved on from my married man once in life and was great then fell back years later when we worked together again. across this after doing a search on how to break up with a married man. once i again i apologized for my distance and he said no worries…life is too short to get wrapped in emotions. basically, it was fun, he was romantic and he took me out of my day to day. plus those married men of course do everything to hook us, they go out of the way to get you in their net, so you are dealing with the best version of him, quite a fantasy, but not with the actual person. i don’t know if this really is the end because he has done this so many times. i think these things are part of the reason for why i am now in a situation where i’m the other woman. he’s always telling me that he loves me and we should be happy coz he’s living his life with me and we’re spending more time together rather than with his family. but on easter sunday, after nearly 5 years of being together, i received his usual, loving, good morning message, yet it was as if he had copied and pasted the message a previous message.! i keep getting these cravings to see if hes online or not, but if he is, i only feel disheartened coz he doesnt ping me! i didn’t even get a reply frn him wen i told him this is my last msg n m deleting ur no. will manage to think less and less about it, the truth is you will never get answers and never know what is the truth. they fall into a pattern of being “friends” or “roommates” my married man was even moved into his own bedroom by his “wife”. i need to do some serious soul searching and get some counseling…. they are stronger together as a couple, even the storm could not tear them apart, how sweet is that. usually when a man has this pattern, he dates the woman until she begins to expect more out of him. but sooner or later we can wise up and get stronger and make decisions to leave the relationship for our won good. now you may be experiencing the best of the best, but when you are living in the real world together, things will change. there is no way youre getting away from your family twice today. blocked him yesterday, our last conversation was normal, then i blocked him… today he was going crazy, calling me from different numbers, texting me… demanding an explanation, why he was blocked, what did he said…etc…. that said, i’m going to post this link:And hopefully it will bring insight to many of you looking for help and/or wondering why. dating a married man is something i looked down on others for doing and now look at me. i was in a coma and bed-ridden for 2 months and then had to learn to walk again. every time, and every day, they’d leave or come into the building together, they’d walk 3′ away from each other, neither of them talking, and both of them walking like soldiers. he is another woman’s husband; he stood in front of his family and friends and vowed to love her forever. when you talked about schemes to keep a married man. 10 months ago am in love with a married man, he told from the beginning that he was married by default and as their culture he has to stay with the wife and the kids and he is allowed to marry a second wife of which he has proposed countless times but i always turn him down, he more willing to take me to his parents but i am scared, his best friend knows about us and his cousin also knows about, his wife contacted me sometimes back after she saw my text on his phone but i didn't respond, he helped me move out and start a new life he supports me fully finacialy buys me expensive staff take me out for lunch twice a week and we go clubbing every weekend and he spents the weekend at my place, we go shopping together,kisses me in public,holds my hands in public we take a lot of pictures with his phone and he never delete, when i try to leave him he becomes crazy he can even drive to my place upto 2am just to say he is sorry, he doesn't like me going to clubs with my friends he will show up if i do, he gives me full access of his phone, the problem is he is still intimate with his wife and he is honest about it and he also want to get me pregnant. i pray everyday that god brings me someone who loves me enough to put me first, because god knows, i put the man i love first.” so even through you are desperate to get through the pain and come out the other side, what it will mean is that what mattered so much and was such a large part of your life, will be no more. you’re always speaking my language and i hope between the two of us, we can continue to get the word out about who these men (or women) really are. i know that feeling all too well, as i went back to my married man twice. i just want to to be that strong woman i always wanted to be and me leaving him is part of going on that path. off all contact with him, for he is another woman’s husband., before you start repeating what i said, get your wording straight. i always said i would never get involved with a married man. on the 2 days he stayed, we’d shop together for food, cook together, chat, put the bins out, clean a bit, watch a movie…clear up etc. it helps me to get rid of all the heaviness inside me. a friend of mine introduced us but she wasn’t aware he was married. the other woman is a intimate partner secondary source who is used purely to provide fuel (emotional attention) to the narcissist and most other women are dirty little secrets. 12 months ago i am dating a married man, he never told me he has a wife, we only meet once in a month, he comes to my house to have sex with me, but he don't support me financial or may be i don't ask, he don't spent a lot of time with me. on one hand, i want to let go, to forget my married man, to just sweep away all the memories, but on the other hand, im also afraid to let it go. that’s when i realized i needed a man of my own. you can’t because you’ve made future plans with this man, he’s promised you so many wonderful things, he gives you a love like you’ve never known in your life … but, and this is the biggest and worst but ever … none of it is real. i thought he was a widower when i met him, he failed to tell me he had remarried immediately after his wife passed away. and no married man deserves to be given all the love that comes from a good, beautiful, caring woman, especially if it’s not his wife. you deserve so much better my love and you will get through this, i promise. would you have stayed the other woman for the rest of your life, not having any real life of your own, while he would have ? all i can say is he was engaged, could have not got married to be with you and yet he did not. hes just using you nothing more, lies lies lies, iv been there, if he really wanted you for real, he would leave his wife and all his commitments, , married men will say anything, to get you into bed, because in reality its all they are after, wise up girl, i did. this man is clearly angry but in total denial as well. when things got tough, when i made demands or needed explanations for poor behavior, they left and just moved on. if a man really loved you, would he put you through this? a colleague who is actually a close friend of my am for about 10 yrs, managed to keep his job but needed somewhere new to stay, he came over and liked the room so i got that sorted too (there was no more rent from the am). because i finally moved on from my married man at one point in life. my children figured out he was married (damn social media). married man contacted me today after days of silence, saying how much he misses me and doesnt know what to do. i plan on reading hgs book on getting rid of the narcissist from your life. have a 5 week old baby girl from my married man. i feel very relieved actually when i found out the man i loved doesn’t worth my emotional investment. i have been so 2 minded and i am in a state where i feel like all i want are answers for his behavior and his treatment towards me and i feel like i will only get it if i contact his wife and find out for myself. mean i lost my job, the man i think i love, my health,…. i see this man as my soul mate and love of my life, but i’m laying here alone in bed crying and writing this. blocked him yesterday, our last conversation was normal, then i blocked him… today he was going crazy, calling me from different numbers, texting me… demanding an explanation, why he was blocked, what did he said…etc…. we cuddled for an hour on the sofa, on a sunday, like most the weekend when i’m usually alone, i had a lovely young man, in fact good looking and fit! feel sane finally, after reading this post……i can’t cope physically pr mentally anymore with the rollercoaster that is my ‘fake’ relationship with my married bf…. we slept together and then he left to go home for holidays., we were messaging up to 11, then he stopped answering, and noticed he wasnt looking at my messages, and then noticed he had un installed the app, as i kept sending messages, i haven’t heard a word since, absolutely nothing, i even said just message me, to let me know what has happened, for peace of mind, but nothing, iv been strong with the no contact rule, but stupid me , went back on my word, i just cannot believe a man can do such a thing, in so hurt, and have spent most of the day crying, how cruel, can a person be, i feel he has just played me, for the fool that i am, my feelings at the minute is also anger, to tell his wife , as i have pictures etc, to prove everything, but whats the point its obvious, its his revenge, for me ending it in the first place, so now i can see what a weak narssic man he is, hasn’t got the guts to say sorry but iv changed my mind, well iv definitely made up my mind no more married men they are the pits, if i had stayed strong, i wouldn’t be having this hurt and humiliation, and the trouble is most of them get away with it. have been nc with my married man since almost 2 months. ive known of married man & had a huge crush on him when i was a kid. i have been so tempted and on day 4 i dont know how i will get through this but we have to stay strong. i knew he was married from the start and we met for work purposes a few times before anything happened. my married came over to visit on weekends or whatever time was available it was so wonderful feeling thst we belonged to each other. every girl here, im in a relationship with a married man for about 6mos. i can’t wait to get to the point where i am not thinking about him throughout every second of every day. if u are single dont you ever date a married man. you thought your affair with this man wouldn’t turn out this way.. but the same thing happens over and over and it is as plain as the nose on my face that i am and have been taken for a ride end of. i am married as well, and realize that i have to deal with that and move on or work on it. a few months ago, a married man came to me (let’s call him david). there are some special reasons that i cannot get divorced. i broke up with my married man exactly a week ago. the younger guy i’ve had a few dates with said you’re stunning and can have anyone you want, but it doesn’t stop me from choosing the wrong guys (abusive, physically and mentally…use me for money etc and get me into debt! have tried for over a year to have a child together. he gets upset at me that i speak of this ending, even though he has stated that we absolutely will have an end. you for being here, and sharing how difficult it is to stop dating a married man. the married man in my life knows that “no” rarely means “no with me (at least from my past behavior with him) . i am still hurt but when the time come you will be able to block him if you get the strength do it at the moment. post i posted we back together, he came to meet me twice last thursday. he made so many promises and set so many dates of when this would take place and when that would take place. he tells me this and that about his marriage and i try not to get inside of it because it is not my situation to give my opinion., no, you are not alone mara 🙂 i see yours relationship with married man is pretty short too (at this point, hopefully it will end soon for your own happiness! after two years of relationship he got married and we still continue our relationship. i work with the married man and he is in “love” with his wife and will always be even though she has cheated on him twice and will always forgive her. he bought me things, took me places, we ran errands together, sought each other’s advice on lots of things. truly hope that every woman who is on this site will be open to visiting hg’s website. just feel so stupid but i’m not strong enough to let go of this married man… he treats me like crap and i know it. would really like to let my married man know how unhappy i am with this situation. i can get out of my affair with mm, she is stuck with him! n if his wife gets to knw, he wont think even for a minute before ending it with me. but after reading so many posts, and seeing how eerily similar many of our experiences are, i can’t help but wonder if what you say is true.’s so insanely crazy how these married men have caused so much damage without us even knowing it at the time? and even knowing it’s better for me if i don’t hear from him so i can get it through my head that this won’t work. i dont expect him to leave his woman for me but it is definitely bitter sweet. this man has been married for 24+ years and has had several affairs that i personally didn’t find out about until later. he knows it and you would think a decent human being would not want to hurt you that way. we both are married, i have a young child as well. just need to keep reading your stories to give me the strength i need to get through this… thank you ladies. just like with anything, it’s a matter of how many times your heart and brain can take a beating before you are done. and as i buy my time away from him i know for a fact i can and i will get stronger and stronger and so then one day i will be able to “no” and mean it! late december this faded away and his wife was trying to get pregnant (not via sex). be 21 this year 2016 i met my married man when i was 17 he is now 29. it may sound a bit harsh to many because most of us are oblivious to, or in denial of, what a narc is capable of. he told me he may not get a chance to talk to me later but he would try to get in touch with me when he could. let him f**k his wife or any woman for that matter., forget-me-not, sim, fiona, flavass, thank you for the concern and for your responses.. the msgs were not hateful like always but i just wrote in a mature manner how i feel now, i hav let go & i learned to detach and be heartless from him. now i get on his nerves and he doesn’t hide that fact. ladies why do we find these relationships so intoxicating and give so much of ourselves and our loyalty to a man that not only does not deserve it but also probably doesn’t have much concept of it! then after a couple weeks things were getting a little serious and we were talking about meeting for the first time, he would fly me out or come to visit.’ve heard the i don’t want to leave my child so many times, i ended my 14 year relationship with my children’s father i was so unhappy. you are so so blind at the time as it seems like a fairytale (yours has already started by you mentioning ‘we get on great’) – trust me…your mm will seem like your soulmate and best friend, i assure you he is not.. cried myself to sleep too many nights cos he was perfect. i met my married man last may on a dating site. i know i should end this for good, before it gets out of hand but i can't seem to! i’ve fallen so deep for this man that i dont want to be with anybody but him. he is the one that was persistent with me from the get go messaging me!!I read your stories of seeing your married man and wife on fb…ouch…. he came over a few days later we slept together and he says i love you for the first time. the man accepts it, because he has to, he doesn’t have a choice, unless he leaves, but that is almost impossible by this point in your life. we can and will get through this your right, self worth is so important. and yes, there are jerks and assclowns, and there are nice decent men who just happen to married. he is a great father and a very caring man – i got to give him that.. i do have good willpower so i’m hoping it will get me out of this impossible situation. one day the married man meets someone (you, us) that jump starts his whole life again! since i married him for all the wrong reasons, it’s safe to say we started having problems in our marriage. somehow it still means i can’t delete him and still get those videos and lots of messages about his love for me… i am mostly completely ignoring them now but i still feel very hurt when he goes quiet at the weekend. i started liking him more so i did some digging online and found out hes married. i don’t regret messaging him as he was great getting an ambulance out to me, but as he said all he did was make a phonecall…how very sad after almost 4 years he wasn’t here to pick me up when i left hospital dizzy, confused and in need of some care. it was like being on drugs and getting easily swept up.. the universe gave us many signs during our friendship, but we ignored them and carried on. i am also confident in the fact that the day i come across a good man, i will appreciate him. you keep your married man as your contact, i can assure you that tomorrow, or in a week or two, even three, you will feel an irresistible urge to initiate contact, or worse, he contacts you first which will make it even harder for you to keep silent. there is another woman who told me she’s been having an affair with him for a couple years. am dating a married man, have been for 2 years next month. i know that he is my center and not a man especially a married one who lies to me. that married men may really be lonely, they may be decent people but the breakup is always messy and cruel and very damaging to us. do not get me wrong my husband isn’t always a jerk…about half and half but the good side is what keeps me in the relationship. we spend time together with our son as a family. i too see my married man not every day but at least twice a month…we live in the same building. he said that he would have a child with me if we were together and things were going well. you should reply to jessica on this post, she is contemplating having an abortion for a mm, at least she should see that its not easy and how a man just moves on. we spend time together with our son as a family. in fact out of 20 years we have been “together” i have left him and gone no contact (! he had been trying very hard to get my sympathy because he was laid off after 17 years and had “no more job in the field he loves. i’m reading another book right now from hg tudor called “sitting target: how and wht the narcissist chooses you”. unfortunately, mm can’t give a woman everything she needs emotionally . i agree that the married men are not happy, which is why they wander. since we wor together and doesn’t want any evidence through texts emails, he will stop by my office a week or so later to ask how im doing. have been involved with a married man for almost 12 years.) holding me hostage, it made me laugh as true but it’s great to also now chuckle at the situation especially when it gets to the point that what has happened is just totally unbelievable! as we were in live-in it was very difficult for me to get over with him. my husband was a cheater so why would i do that to another woman? we are watching movie, we are kissing, we are dating.. i have been married for 16 years and i met this guy at work who was also married for i think 3 years back then with one child.?Just get out of the house n do things u used to enjoy. we ended up spending more and more time together at work and after work, we would message all day every day and i fell in love with him and he fell in love back (or at least i assume he did when he was looking my straight in the eye telling me he’d loved me since i first started working there). i am usually confident, and since i met him, i feel so unworthy that i am losing all my confidence and becoming needy, demanding, someone i never was. i did find out he was still married eventually and was shocked and gutted but it was too late. want to let go of mine thats all i want do not know how i will forget him his on my mind all the time but well tie heals all wounds i think if we got over other exs we will get over these ones. and it was because i’d be stressing, nervous about getting his, “are you still there” text. tomorrow marks one month that i ended things with my married man. you are so young, you have your life and an amazing man on the other side of this pain. i couldn’t go on vacations, couldn’t go to any gatherings or birthday parties because, “i’d look like a single woman”. so many times i try ending this relationship but he will called a beg, cry that i shouldn’t leave him, that he can’t do without me. i told him if i get a whiff that he’s messing around on his wife again, i will be the first to fill her in with all the details. years because he is the property manager of the building i live in and he never wore his wedding ring throughout those years and i only started hanging out with him the past three months outside of the building.’s a good man, i know that he really don’t want to hurt me and his family but it already happened. he told me that their relationship was built on business and making money together. so in essence, we are giving them a ‘get out of jail free’ card and just reeling back and trying to nurse our own broken hearts. several times during the relationship i asked him was he married because signs started telling me he was. i feel tired of feeling half alive, although my life is full with work and kids and friends, that need to get validation just doesn’t leave me in peace. if you’re anything like me, i use to think, “god, this can’t be who my married man is because he was “always” so loving and good to me”. i can take a wild guess and say that at least 95% of you on this site are empathic and you’ve been exploited and manipulated. i broke up with my married man exactly a week ago. my mm was all the good qualities you can hope for in a man multiplied by a million. when we start making demands, the affair becomes yet another struggle they cannot cope with because that is the type of men they are. i have skimmed many websites but i just can’t see many of these qualities in my married man? your right i am only getting the crumbs and i’m miserable. i want to be “the woman”, not the other woman. i know many are scared that they won’t connect with someone like they did their married men, and even i have that fear sometimes, but i have faith and believe it will happen. we all want to be with our married men for one more time? my office manager told me just keep distance for now. what i want you to know is that i don’t want you to get to where we are. to have him to myself for this long has been amazing and now i cant imagine them two being normal together. it was very toxic some days as he was very measured in his approach to me, while i used to throw caution to the wind and want to see him and speak to him on the phone every chance i get. so all this bs of them leaving us alone no contact is just a way for them to emotionally manipulate us. lies can be clever and convincing, but i always say, "assume that the man is lying until you are engaged, married, or something close.’d like to thank all of you for giving me strength to continue to stick to my guns and let my married man go! although i have regretted so many things in my life , getting involved with a martied man has been far the ultimate biggest regret of my life. need to get your butt looking flyy taking dope, sexy pics, and start “feeling” yourself” (beyonce voice). he always insisted its me he wanted his life with, and no matter how many outs i tried to give him, he always assured me of his love and that the last thing he wanted was to watch me and my love walk away. i really wanted to get a sense of empathy for these women and understand their plight - maybe they're afflicted with such incredibly low self-esteem that gaining the attention of a high-powered man is just too intoxicating to give up. know exactly what you mean about not being able to get your ex-mm out of your head.’s a good man, i know that he really don’t want to hurt me and his family but it already happened. but i promise you, if you open yourself up to the possibility of learning who your married man actually is, you will begin to move forward. i read and informed his messages early on from the get go because i thought what could he possibly want with me? i don’t know if this really is the end because he has done this so many times. he cared for me so much in the past n i felt i was e luckiest woman on earth. if you really think about it they’re getting the best of both worlds and now all of their needs are being met.’ve also been reading another website that calls the manipulation part as creating the soulmate effect. was involved with a man who didn’t tell me he was married, until the day his wife found the proof she needs for divorce that he’s been cheating. i’m so grateful for the time we got, and that we were able to have our own world where his being married almost didn’t matter. he has always said that he’s grateful for any time he gets with me. i almost want to get her back because in a way i feel she stole my man, the one i loved so much., i have been seeing a married man for about 8 mths and now 2 mths pregnant. recently i’ve had some very honest conversations with my friends about dating married men, and i’ve realized that affairs are more common than i realize. does he believe the wife’s words that i manipulated him for whatever reason and am cruel to have done that when he has small kids…. i told him not to do this to another woman, but i don’t think that matters to him. i met him on a dating site and we become couple after a month plus. its hard as a single mother with no affection and you meet a great guy only to find out he’s married.’m finally getting tired now because things have changed and the “i love you’s” has stopped., what you says almost explains my married man’s behavior. he says we’re not together but of course still feels for me the same. i knew he was married but i started fallen for him. it seriously is not worth it and you’re absolutely right … if a man truly loves you and wants only you, nothing can stand in his way. four months doesn’t seem like a long time but we’ve spent at least 3 nights a week together (he travels for work) during that time, and are constantly in touch with each other. but sooner or later we can wise up and get stronger and make decisions to leave the relationship for our won good. if you are at the beginning of your affair and think you “will not get that involved” or “attached” think of my story! three and half years ago i met a man in a loveless marriage in who lived 3,000 miles from his wife for over five years. he is still in the whole relationship routine and i’m not sure how other women get to spend so many weekends with their married men but i guess all our circumstances are different. but im still sad, im sad because i will never get to be with my soulmate- my married man, the one who my heart skips a beat for. i dont know what i would do if married man contacted me we are also 7 days nc. it has happened to me with every man i fell in love with. if you think the married man in your life isn’t a narc, think again. i think i’m searching for something and the answer lies with me and not in a man whether he is available or unavailable. dont wanna play smart on you, of course not, i am just trying to help and get you in a more positive mood about yourselves. it can be an “opportunity” for us to get to know ourselves better. this married man never returned even an iota of my love, care or affection. maybe your prayers are being answered by finding this site and now it’s up to you to decide if you’re truly ready to see your entire relationship with the married man from a completely different perspective. too had a year long affair with a man here at work. and you struggle to get back the attention just to take back a little ego but he keeps ignoring you, which makes the situation worse. every girl here, im in a relationship with a married man for about 6mos. the last two years i have had so many arguments about the situation with him, told him i want to be loved and made to feel special… he tells me he knows… he tells me he wants things to change too… i like to think after all these years i know him well, and i do feel sorry and sad for him too, i know we both want to be together, but it hasnt happened properly in 10 years… so my heart and head tell me i need to leave this situation as its affecting the person that i want to be…. it scares me to think that i was actually targeted by this narc. i would be walking on egg shells all the time, just to make sure that we were happy together and he would have the child. i hope that everyone on here is willing to at least read some of the articles that hg has written, and i’m sure they’ll see the similarities between their married men and a narcissist. it is emotional as well and i think that makes it more difficult to get out of it. i think this is a place where if i open up i can get advice to way out…. are my thoughts too, we have husbands that love us & i know if he ever found out about my married man i would lose it all and cause so much hurt in the process to my kids, my husband.!But i didn’t get any news or anything from him, even he didn’t say he can’t or he’s busy ! i promise you, your life will not get better with him. i have actually said sorry to him and to god for ever getting involved on any level with a married man at all. he is gone on spring break and i leave the week he gets back and then i am out another week. and then last night – i was out with friends and the married guy showed up. you’re never going to get what you want from him because he has absolutely nothing to give. we are not dirty secrets, we are woman who deserve to be cherished and loved, dont ever settle for less than that. one thing that really hurts is that i have to be the one getting rid of all the mementos of us, he never had any of them of course. easier said than done, as i know how it feels to let a man in who seems to consume you. i was with him for 9 years, eight were good and the last one year was just series of breakups and getting back for few weeks then breaking up again. and if the man is worth it, the most we should do is give them a second chance if we have both agreed to change the unhealthy patterns and behaviors. i believe he married her, then turned her world upside down, just as he did mine. it’s a pattern with all of us who have been attached to a married man. he lies and says he felt like he lost his right arm – not once did he try to get his right arm back or find out what had happened! he called it soul mismanagement, and his guidance was around understanding the structure and framework and regaining our integrity, working on our soul’s self care, and making a sacred covenant to your self to withhold these commitments to our self..i am so low at the moment … i definitely have more bad days then good due to this relationship… but it’s like i’m addicted to the high even though there is very few …i want to say it’s done but i don’t have to strength to walk away … or if i said it was done i would want him to fight to get me back but i don’t think he would … i known actions speak louder than words …’i just want him to make me happy … not because i ask him to but because i matter…! my ex-mn had a 19 year old son at the time and he told me he needed to get his son through college before he could make a move. i don’t feel like being branded as ‘ the home wrecker’ and ‘the other woman’. it agn boils down to the question, wat is that am getting out of this relationship & wat role did i ever have in his life (if at all i had any) that he let me go so quickly. when i talk to him sometimes his reasoning makes sense although it is always me that gets name called or bullied. i can’t believe that this is the man who used to put his nose close to mine so that he could breath the same air that i was breathing. for months i believed me and my married man would end up together and we would be happy but the more i read these comments it’s unrealistic and delusional. i asked him about it and he said that it’s because he gets very occupied as his line of work can be very demanding at times. he didn’t love me and your married man doesn’t love you! honestly, i did not really have a support system, so i hope you can do better than me, but i went to london many times to see the only real friend i had, and i decided to make new memories (i went with him in so many capital of europe, i was scared of going back, but i decided to make new memories in those places to make sure i would not be scared of living again). seriously, where are the dinners, movies, weekend plans, brunches, vacations, sleeping in together, etc? i moved out after a year because i wanted to get out of the situation and it was getting hard for him to pay my rent. it’s just been me to pull away from him because of my married man. realised, i was smitten, and that i could love someone far more than the am man. we work together occasionally ( see each other professionally about twice a month). he doesn’t call as much, doesn’t text as much, and i am pretty positive that he is moving on to his next experience, and will eventually leave altogether. this person has stolen 12 years of my life that i can never get back.. these are not the actions of a man that cares, he holds on for someone to lean on, but at this very moment he is happily at home with his daughters and partners, and will never ever admit it. they had been married for about ten years when i met him. we have been through is not a life, true love for either of us on both sides and getting an outsiders perspective wonderful too about all of this. he says when i was ready to go further with us he wasn’t and when he was i already married. when a married man says ” i feel stronger for you than my wife” but does nothing to prove that please! this may not be the most effective tip on how to stop dating a married man, but it may help you find compassion for his wife and strength to leave him. i'm not gullible and i know there's no future with man and he will won't divorce his wife even though their kids are grown, but like most men he doesn't want to share his success. so we continued talking and dating (going out to public reataurants) until the first week of march. it is not that difficult to sweep a woman off her feet, men are smart and know that very well. in looking back, i understood that the two relationships prior to first meeting my married man in my twenties, both partners had betrayed me in our ‘committed’ relationships. if you’re his side piece for years, you’re giving up that opportunity and when you look up, you’ll see that all the good guys are married. tonight i did speak with my married men and i was like a crazy women for a solid hour and i told him it was over and he begged me to give him one last chance & that he will do his best by me and he knows he has treated me badly and it’s going to stop. “move on” coming from the man who had told me he loved me more than anything in life and couldn’t live without me. not too many nice guys here and i’m not getting any younger either. the first questions i asked were are you or have you ever been married he said no. he lost the craze or novelty to shower me the attention, romance me with love and lust, reality sets in, he withdraws whenever he’s hit by guilt towards his wife & kids and fear of us being discovered. he’s been with his wife for 23 years but married to her 16.’ve also been reading another website that calls the manipulation part as creating the soulmate effect. when mc went to iraq he met a woman over there kept it from me and me from here. from a woman hurt and deceived by a 60 year old married man. the reason we are in a mess emotionally is because we are in relationships with married men, not necessarily because they are narcissists. i cried all weekend but feel this is part of the grieving / mourning process that you have to go through to get to the other side. i became involved with a close friend who was a married man after i divorced. the author: thank you for validating the love and the relationship even though it is taboo. if that is the case then why is he constantly texting her when we are together? relationships with married men are so painful, even if it starts off seemingly innocuous and fun and both parties “agree to the terms. why do seemingly happily married cheat on their wives-im just going by pictures i see on fb…. since i married him for all the wrong reasons, it’s safe to say we started having problems in our marriage. after two years of relationship he got married and we still continue our relationship. want to end this toxic relationship, i have managed 3 days without texting him, but today i txt him and aske is there is a problem as i haven’t heard from him. i knew that if a man claimed to love me as much as he did, he would not let me be alone when i was going through one of the most difficult things in my life. he would get away often, we would have coffee or just talk and holds hands. i fell in love with this man and i started noticing that we always stayed at my apartment, phone calls only occurred at certain times, never met any family or friends. the only option for you getting out of the hell you’re in is to educate yourself on narcissism and going complete no contact! can he get off scott free and not let it affect his life yet let it ruin mine. my married man and i were acquaintances in the gym., i try to hate him more each day & only think abt the times wen i was alone n he was havin a nice romantic night with his wife!. towards beginning of our affair we both were ok with the fact that we are married and cant leave our families but we still want to b together. all of sudden we star talking agian and getting really envolved with hot text messages . you for being here, and sharing how difficult it is to stop dating a married man.. thatways he can avoid all melodrama n my baggage n can get to enjoy the fruit aka only the good part. two months ago my 7 year relationship with my live in boyfriend ended and what do i do…i start texting my married man! i now think that any man who can straight up lie to his woman at home is bad news. met my married man a few years ago, we clicked i knew he was married from the start, nothing was to happen until 4 years later. or people who started out good but time/ circumstances/ life events/ stresses made them into versions of themselves that don’t get along with us anymore? you also say we could romance and enjoy the thrills because we ain’t married to each other hence we wouldn’t be bored by the mundane experienced by the married couples. still not feeling he was being honest, i did some research and discovered he was married and lied about his name. either way, he gets the best of both worlds; both you and his wife get half a life. both of us are married but her husband already called it quits. may you see how valuable and worthwhile you are, and know that you deserve to be loved by a man who is 100% committed and available to you. it doesn’t matter if you’ve been with this man for 3 months or 10 years, if you have been dealing with a narcissist, you need to start by being patient with yourself right now. i will do my best to part in a peaceful way and keep good memories of the love i got to experience with this man. it is emotional as well and i think that makes it more difficult to get out of it. believe me, i know the pain your going through and i absolutely promise you it does get easier with each day that passes. your man became distant as soon as he slept with you, it’s horrendous behavior but i guess it’s common enough. nine years, five years, 2 days is time we can never get back, but hopefully we can learn something valuable from all we’ve been through. i'm not dating him, but he already gave me tips that he also feels like kissing me. sometimes learning how to break up with a married man involves a decision. the beginning of my affair was like a dream a fantasy and i fell so hard for this married man who worked very very close to my house. i want to believe it with all of my heart, but after reading how so many were treated, after years of waiting, i had to let go. i say well have a good rest of the day and week and weekend and message me if you get to missing me and just want to talk. very high highs when we are together and very low lows when we part. we would get such limited time, and he would still choose to not call me at times because ‘he didn’t feel like it’. leaving and getting your life back will be the best decision you can make. i can’t get upset if i don’t hear from him and if i don’t see him. don’t even want write much about this married man anymore. you need to decide that you deserve more out of a relationship, and that a better man is waiting for you.. but i dont need a man to make me feel thatway. when mc went to iraq he met a woman over there kept it from me and me from here. perhaps it is not quite the same for the younger married men who either enjoy the chase, or those who are dominated by their high level of testosterone or the ones who are just missing the spark when drowning under responsibilities of raising children. i cried myself to sleep that night, only to get accused of “still going and lying about it”.. i wudnt wish bad for him or his wife, but i really really want her to either die or leave him for another man. day you will be strong to walk away but for now ,get a life! it started with seconds not thinking of him, then minutes, now i’m just getting to hour (maybe just under an hour). after the first 3-4 weeks, i started by getting rid of (meaning throwing them away with the dog crap) his toothbrush and hairbrush (i kept the hairspray :), a week or so later i got rid of all his t-shirts and pajama bottoms. it’s horrible i can’t get my head around it and what’s worse is i can’t stop seem to think about him. i fell in love with a married man who is 4 years younger than me for 6 months now . reason a married man can end an affair so easily is because his first allegiance is to his wife. felt the same with my married man but i even met him when i was married!” it is never ever resolved and the relationship never ever gets better! very easy for us to spend time together as we’d takes days off too, she thought he was at work., if there’s anything i can say that will help, it’s to tell you to stop looking for love from a man who cannot and will not give it to you, the way he’s promised to do so many times. 9 months ago im living together with a married man, his wife left him, they have no baby and no communication at all. by the time it got to 9pm, i started getting a sinking feeling. i felt in my gut that he was never separated but living as man and wife.) and then he will tell me how awful i am to do such a thing (block his number) then i’ll feel ashamed of my behavior take him back and get hurt all over again. i don't give advice, but you can get free relationship help from marriage coach mort fertel. if we were able to get into this situation then we can definitely come out of it stronger and better. no one knows about me, even though i saw his son many times on facetime. still he didn’t divorce yet, reason given is he needs to go back to his country to get the divorce done. i’m going to try responding more, but really wanted to get this information to you as quickly as possible. i don’t like the idea that i can’t wear what he buys for me around her because she will get upset and say he is buying things for me (even though it’s true). i am married with a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful kids. he messaged me after coming back off paternity leave and we just fell back into the usual routine but the guilt is getting to me more. he plays in a band as an outside hobby, and is commited to many paid performances. after all, our relationship didn’t start out by my looking for a married man and i wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes by getting involved with him. it’s madness but it’s a madness only a woman in an affair with a married man can understand., i took the decision today that i have to leave my married man, i just don’t know how, i search for help and here i am… i really want to be with him one more time, smell his chest and hug him soooo hard. he was supposed to come over so many times so that we can talk and he could tell me his plans and what’s going on but each time, he delays and delays and ends up cancelling which kills me. i think he loves the idea of a younger woman to control. i try to breakup and then get sucked right back in. swear we’re all dating the same married man…they give us all the love and affection in the beginning…but later on they start to treat us like crap…why is that? heck, it’s even hell on earth with what you go through with a married man. if i sit here and constantly dwell on how heartbroken i am, i feel i would get in a rut and feel the heartbreak indefinitely. it is so easy to get caught up but extremely difficult to get out! now i think, it’s so easy for him to seduce and manipulate me because he is my boss. it is going to be hard, and if you need professional help, please get it. have been involved with a married man for almost 12 years. nine years, my friend darleen dated a man who was married and now regrets it. i always thought it was cute and romantic, like a quest. but i do agree, it takes immense amount of time, pain, tears, anti-depressants & even therapies to get over the breakup! after 2 years together and you calling me that from day one, now you don’t think we should? i am in the same boat i meet a man 18months ago at the time i didn’t know he was married has time went by he told me he is a carer for his wife and nothing more and now he’s doing slot more stuff with her and i need out but can’t do it i have no will power am getting very depressed x. see i’m in a loveless sexless marriage and the man i’m in love with is newly married as well. now he knows i’m still hurting, which he probably gets an ego boost from. i was so sick of it all i just wanted to get away. i so totally get how you are feeling right now. you, i live 8 hours from parents, brothers too, friends dotted around and manage to keep myself busy enough and usually have a flatmate here 3 days a week (my ex-am friend and my colleague funny enough, without his bit of rent, i’d have lost my home too…. these married men will continue to suffer in their marriages and even if they divorce, trust will always be an issue with them. had the same issue with my married man, i met him at work he was my boss, after six months he said he fell in love with me and the same with me, he was everything i wanted, he gave me attention, love and respect for 5 months and then started to change his behaviour. we think they are princes, and maybe they do treat us like princesses when we are together, but they are also actors, and deceivers too, and let’s face it, absence makes the heart grow fonder, a relationship that has periodic visits will have much more spark and passion in it than the ones with the day to day repetition of living together, paying bills, doing laundry, food shopping and living with the total package. but i would rather be on my own and have the possibility of meeting someone who is devoted to me, than stay with a married man who doesn’t have what it takes to give me the life i deserve.. but the same thing happens over and over and it is as plain as the nose on my face that i am and have been taken for a ride end of. it won’t be easy getting away, but it’s exactly what you need to do, because staying will only get worse … i promise you. in a way i think you are getting a blessing from destiny. i guess he does this all the time and gets what he wants for a few months and move on to the next victim. am 24 years old and have been dealing with a married man would be 3 years in october. and i don’t know maybe i feel sorry for her that she would have to put up with a man like that. i like many, never…ever thought i would be with a mm because like others i detested women who could do that. i have been in 3 serious relationships 2 of them were with habitual cheaters and liars and one of them left me for another woman and as much as i’d like to think im strong, confident and have the highest self esteem the truth is those relationships broke me down and made me feel like cheating is what happens to people so why should i care. i guess here is a good thing: i can never eva go back to this man now. 6 months ago i am married to my husband for 33 years, but i have know this other man for about 7 months , & i do have very strong feelings for him , as he does with me aslo ,we both live in different states he is going through his divorce , & he has told me he love me very much & i have said the same and i do love him very deeply with my heart & soul , & now i am trying to undersatand what to really do ! let me explain…the job agency called me on a thursday afternoon about a interview on friday morning at married man’s firm, without giving proper details about the job, conditions, etc.

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heck, it’s even hell on earth with what you go through with a married man. i have not read all the comments here but seeing that there are so many makes me feel less alone. now i’m like an obsessed, insane woman checking my phone every ten minutes for a message. i think we just have to deal with the pain before it gets better. we were supposed to get together today but last night got into a huge fight and i caused it. do i shut him out for good i still love him, his good to me but i need to settle down how do i go about this anyone in my situation where its you who wants to dump the married man whose so good to you. i want you to get strong and be the woman you’re meant to be. so, are most married men who maintain long term affairs narcissists? here is his response to you:Yes, most married men who maintain long term affairs are narcissists. i know you sincerely believe he’s the love of your life, but if you’re truly ready to end the rollercoaster ride you’re on start with reading the overwhelming, but intriguing and alarming (creepy) things the admitted narcissist has to tell those of us who are super empaths, empaths and co-dependents. a friend of mine introduced us but she wasn’t aware he was married.. so after his wife and kids keep treating me i decided to break it off with this married man but he cried and begged me not to leave him this continued until the last couple of weeks ago when his wife showed up to my job and then they came to my house…it hurts so bad but the sad thing is that i really miss him but at the same time i can’t stand him. and you struggle to get back the attention just to take back a little ego but he keeps ignoring you, which makes the situation worse. i get holidays with him, just the day before or the day after. also, google – narcissist abuse recovery books: pdf bundle – and you can get “when love is a lie” and “stop spinning, start breathing” by zari ballard (also downloadable pdf) for . we’ve done this so many times in the last two years and each time when it’s him coming back he’s sweet and says what i need to hear and then he’s back to not talking to me. no more wearing dresses because he “couldn’t be with someone who dressed to get looked at” no more visiting my grandma’s house or my 2nd oldest’s home because “he (my ex) might be there. he stills goes home to his gf, we are not together to be dropped! plus you are married so you don’t feel the full weight of being alone. my married man and i are no contact since palm sunday whenever that was. when you get single, give me a call if you want. was nothing i’d ever go for ,not remotely resembling any one i’d ever be interested in but he treated me like a queen,something i’ve been longing for ,i used to always tell him how amazing he is and how happy i am ,we’d always miss each other constantly cuz we only see each other or speak when he’s at work, he never but on one occasion called me while he was at home whispering,i lay patiently every day hoping he goes to work just to hear his voice,i feel pathetic ,he recently told me he can’t give me what i want and that we can’t spend quality time together,just mornings ,evenings or nights ,only if he can come up with a good story,idk why i even got with him…. i become involved with a married man who lives in the same building as i do. things with my married man and i were simply just physical. i told him when he gets to where he really wants to see me he’ll find a way and he doesn’t acknowledge it. is my childhood friend and best friend…he was married for 22yrs…. if you have a baby with this man, it will be very hard to cut contact with him, especially since he and his wife both have acknowledged the fact. married man told me today he can’t and won’t leave his daughter. if you think the married man in your life isn’t a narc, think again. i patched up with this man coz i dnt hav a choice! i got pregnant during our first year together and had a son. he isn’t either, as he works long hours and is touch with me daily, either texting or calling or planning our time together. i told him he on numerous occasions “i don’t get it. further told him if his not ready to settle down now he can forget me & i move on peacefully cant waste my youth full years on un decided man he told me his decided its me he wants. it started with seconds not thinking of him, then minutes, now i’m just getting to hour (maybe just under an hour). have been together for 4 month and then i cut it, now one and half months have passed from my break up with the married man. i mean, i did a bad thing by knowingly getting involved with a married man in the first place. as i tell him hes married and his reply is i know but what can i do, i answer i cant tell you what to do you have your own mind then the conversation ends. many people tell me not to say anything to his wife, but i did to give me some peace.. lol, so yes here is my pattern, he contacts me 99% only through text message and it is usually if not always on either of a friday, saturday evening and late in the evening when wife gone to bed or he in his friends having a beer or whatever and it is the same he will say he loves me, he misses me, i’m his soulmate, he cannot stop thinking about me, i’m such a babe (his words not mind ha), how did we come to this, blah blah blaaahhh blah blahhhh. it’s only been 5 months and i feel like i can’t miss a day without speaking to my married man. there is so much that doesn’t add up and although he worse 7 days a week he always has done as his job was only ever temporary and he has a huge mortgage and business bills to pay – he made out for almost 4 years he worked non stop to leave but he’s working non stop to pay his bills, he is a business man and he is working hard now for lack of salary not for me! used the names and emails you used here, and signed you up to get follow-up comments. i was ok being alone and taking care of my children as a single parent (atleast i thought i was) my married man fills a void and truth be told i genuinely enjoy him…most days! i have always felt that he had a big ego, and i don’t want to get into the complexities about him that i fell in love with. i've never been involved with a married man who is also my ex boyfriends brother who i still care about deeply. i was his friend and coworker, and was even happily dating. not to him or any other man who’s not mine. just know how you as a woman would treat a man that you truly believed was the one… more than likely we wouldn’t let them just walk away. married man is still with his wife after many many years.. m waiting for the day wen i wil be over him in such a nice manner that reading all these journals will only make me laugh & i will laugh at my stupidity, just like i laugh about my teenage & college breakups!. the one post that hit home very hard and made me gulp and feel tearful was 'in love with a married man' – it's amazing how one page essay compiled of simple, clear and concise paragraphs say so much. i am only getting the crumbs of his love and emotion. it’s not necessarily the woman he’s married to. i’ve asked him so many times to just “break up with me” but he never does – and this keeps me hooked and in love with him.?Click on this website:And there is information for help that will get you out of that environment – you need to leave and the sooner the better. i think we have low self esteem, and we have to build each other up, as women, so that we can find strength in one another and not another man. so my gut said do not entertain anything else from this unavailable man but my loneliness said, just dont have sex with him and you are good. i dont know what i would do if married man contacted me we are also 7 days nc. to go to the gas station, to go to lowe’s, to go get food but he never comes back with what he says he’s gonna get saying they don’t have what he’s looking for. i’ve invested 3 years of my life falling more and more in love with this man. thats the fact, i didnt get anything out of it, only lost. i hope u keep urself strong & get over it soon! trying for the umpteenth time to break off a relationship of over 10 years with a married man. they have a small child together, they are a family. i should look back & think, what is that i am getting, or have got till date from this relationship? then, i learned on this site many others went through the same thing., a few more things to add and hopefully you’ll consider … the loving words a mm tells you is a form of manipulation and brainwashing and this is why it’s so damn difficult to cut ties from him. we set up a secret blog to exchange comments and entries, but now he doesn’t go there anymore, but yesterday i couldn’t help it, i’ve sent a comment to that blog, saying that i’m hurt because i saw the picture of him kissing his wife’s belly and how could he walk away so easily and effortlessly after everything we had together. he had told me that he had married with 3 children but i just ignored it because he had convinced me that his feeling on me is true. i had never thought that i can drift away from my marriage as my husband loves me so much and so do i, i always thought there was no room for anyone else but i fell for this man. i don’t know will he really divorce…i just getting more and more tired and insecure. 5 years there have been so many times where i’ve been hopelessly depressed and i’d go out with my friends have drinks and meet men almost like rebelling against him. still live together until divorce is over and have a 17 year daughter. healer i spoke to tied everything back to our relationship with our self and our souls, when our choices are lacking integrity or hurting and taking from others, our actions will inevitably block our path to wholeness because we have betrayed ourselves, and left a crack in our integrity with our choice to be with the married man. i’ve been sneaking around with this married man, ignoring my own husband who loves me more then anyone in this world. the romance isnt there anymore either… i feel the last few months for sure i have wanted to protect myself and started to hold back a lot more… i thought this would make him try harder to sort the situation out… but i asked him outright last week when will he be with me, he doesnt know. if u hav read other comments in this forum, u wud b familiar with the fact that none of the married men leave their wives. laurie can you please write an article on why married men cheat…does he really love his wife if he continues to have affairs? he’s still living happily with another woman, he’s doing fine without me, he doesn’t bother to show me his love, nothing matters anymore. am pretty sure i dont want my married man to leave his family for me. unless they come home to us every night and we are the only woman in their life, we are not their priority.. is back off n dedicated myself to him… he’d get back with playing with my emotions but if i brought it up he’d say you know why i’m so up and down. he stills goes home to his gf, we are not together to be dropped! he will disappear on his own when he no longer gets what he wants. you are right…we have always been the 2nd option to the married men. if i can also suggest, read the comments (there may be many) because you might recognize yourself in many of the people. dating a mm is just so frustrating and exciting at the same time right?! marriage is hard but only good if the two of us are in it together! met my married man a few years ago, we clicked i knew he was married from the start, nothing was to happen until 4 years later., as i’ve said, it’s been 10 months since i’ve spoken to the married man, yet i stay on this site because it’s crucial for me to help those of you either in the fog still, or just coming out. i admit he convinced me and we continue to talk but that's all just talk about our feelings for each other and wanting to be together, he has told me that he won't go into the details with me as he doesn't want me to hurt from it and i agreed that i didn't want to know. we never got intimate in our time together, lack of oppportunuty and also lack of effort from his side. he gets so defensive when i tell him you divorce her. many people tell me not to say anything to his wife, but i did to give me some peace. or people who started out good but time/ circumstances/ life events/ stresses made them into versions of themselves that don’t get along with us anymore? mine is only 5 months and doesn’t share feelings much except how i made him feel like a man again in his “sexless” 2nd marriage of 36 years. the silver lining is that i know once i get through this i’ll be free and empowered. jenny thank u for your compassion… its comforting to know someone else has been through this dating a married man that really understands because when your in this type of situation you feel so alone and isolated. you went through so many hard situations that you deserve the best from now on! do i do it as he cabt seem to let me goo i know i will my owm man because at least im hard working though he helps out i laso make my own money. it’s the most painful way but its the most effective way to get you to heal. we’re all going through the same hell, and it’s going to get better because all we did was believe in someone. i am a married woman having an affair with a married man. so many times i tried to make my married man feel jealous by telling him how me and my husband had a romantic night but he was totally unperturbed, whereas i couldn’t tolerate that he goes close to his wife even for a day! he was my boss, so before anything could go any further with us, he needed to get a new job. i was in a relationship with a married man for nearly 2 years and we were in love head over heels. if you were with a man who you were not having sex with and who you did not love, and you had this man on the side who you truly did love and had a great connection with, would you be content to go home to the man you did not really want, knowing that your lover is single and could easily find someone who is available for him full time? i also included some things i found on the internet about mm being lost little boys and lack the manhood to make a decision. and true love is being used so freely but i don’t know how many really knows the true meaning or ever truly loved someone. i think when you finally have had enough you get mad instead of hurt. i can get better but truth i know the process wont be easy. do i do it as he cabt seem to let me goo i know i will my owm man because at least im hard working though he helps out i laso make my own money. mine is only 5 months and doesn’t share feelings much except how i made him feel like a man again in his “sexless” 2nd marriage of 36 years. i tell myself a thousand times that i don’t want to be the other woman. things were so good and he was making me promises of a future together, never gave me a time which i understand, but promised with all his heart we would one day be together. guess im looking for a life line in this site by getting an understanding of whats happening here. also, if you want to ask a question, you’ll get the most truthful answers you’ve probably had in a long time. but although he left work 2 months ago, here i am on a friday night alone, him at home probably watching tv and laughing with the gf…having conversations with her after putting their young child to bed (all this of course he denies). the time that my husband wud be outdoors, i was cheating on him with this man! thats the fact, i didnt get anything out of it, only lost. don’t forget,heartbreak, you said yourself, “i don’t even know what was reality and what was illusion”. we could’t resist the love for each other so we continued and fell even deeper in love when he got married and after he got married. now, i saw him daily too and he stayed 1-2 nights a week for a rest from driving, so we spent a few work evenings together and never ever weekends. when we deny them what they are used to getting from us (the ‘quick fix’ we provide) they withdraw. found this site so helpful, i was involved with a man who had another woman. i know i deserve all the heart ache i’m getting but it doesn’t seem fair he gets everything he wants when he was the married person.“to anyone who is still involved with a married man, all i can say is end it now,” she says. true love means you can introduce the man you love to your family and friends. we aretogether more often than before with this love affair progresses . october 2014 i started having an affair with a man who is basically married (living with his long-term partner). i meet someone else and though not in love get engaged to this man. we were their targets and they knew exactly what they wanted from us and could careless what our needs were or are. i dnt wana lose my husband, coz the day he gets to knw abt this, he wil throw divorce on my face & i wont hav anywhr to go! what hooked me hard one time was seeing my married man cry because he said he couldn’t leave wife and family and wanted to provide for me as the love of his life, but couldn’t as he felt bad abandoning innocent people. infact, i hav started getting criminal tendencies n i wish that she should just die! how many men do you know who are ruining their lives because of a woman? before i told my married man no contact he told me he want to talk to me about his work and something that happened i am so tempted to text him and ask him about it, but we have to be strong it is very very hard! and make you end up feeling sub human and less than, to be treated like this. initially, i thought this would allow us to be together. you are in an abusive environment and need to get out immediately. we lost contact, he remarried and a few years later, had a child at 50, with his present wife. loved my family like his it gets harder for me i don’t want to breakup with him the 6th time then after i forgive him i want to slowly pull away i want to stop caring and act so busy may be he will slowly stop caring too. i get stronger when he doesn’s chat me, but when he did again, i get the lovely feeling back. he’s been married 11 out of 16 and me 14 out of 16. this may not be the most effective tip on how to stop dating a married man, but it may help you find compassion for his wife and strength to leave him.. remember he’ll treat you like doormat when he gets what he wants afterwards. we work so close together that i have no way out. and if the man is worth it, the most we should do is give them a second chance if we have both agreed to change the unhealthy patterns and behaviors..my married man was three decades older than me he is 54 and i’m 27 and his wife was my pastor. many people think it doesn’t just happen but it does. me getting mad and fed up with it all has really helped me a lot this time. i found a message on his phone from another woman, calling him handsome. in looking back, i understood that the two relationships prior to first meeting my married man in my twenties, both partners had betrayed me in our ‘committed’ relationships. everyone on this site can ignore the fact that their married men are narcissists, but it’s time for all of us to stop being in denial. he responded and said more than any other woman ever before and he loves me more than his wife. he is still in a tight schedule, i get b*tchy and say ‘the shackles are on, off you go home’ – but i have no right, however awful and nasty or screwed up his gf is meant to be, she expects him home after work. i took him back… i missed him and i allowed his words to get to me. that you’re not in love with the real man. of course i can’t say all mm are bad, honestly there are so cases whereby they will divorce their wife and have a new relationship with the one they love, i would say there are not many such cases. you’ll wish you were back together, and you’ll cry yourself to sleep at night. i expected he would get my message to call me.…im also getting jealous of the life they seem to have…it looks like lala land…. and that’s what it boils down to, married men cannot relate to your emotions the way normal decent people can. my recommendation is to get touch with yourself, take back your power and remember this part of your life will pass in time. the longer you keep cheating with another woman’s husband, the worse and more degraded you will feel…. you’re a strong woman and i believe in you! have been dating a married man for the past almost 11 years. i could not see this clearly before because i was so “mesmerized” and hypnotized” by him and by our brief times together. i returned to work and his first week not being there (we’d worked together for 4 years, was a huge shock, we worked on pieces of the project together 60% of the time, that’s how closely we worked for a good 3 years of the time! i first found this site, i thought the exact same way, but i did convince myself my relationship with a married man was different, unique, not like all the stories i had read all over the internet., i have not spoken to him and i never will again, unless he catches me off guard; and if that happens, i will show absolutely no emotion (hate, anger, tears, kindness, nothing) towards him because that’s the only reason he’d be there … to get fuel from me – negative or positive.,244 thoughts on “how to break up with a married man and heal your heart”. i date and have sex with other men on occasion, he knows and gets jealous and complains about it, but i told him too bad. deep inside i know it is not right and i dont want to really hurt another woman the same way i have been hurt. so in essence, we are giving them a ‘get out of jail free’ card and just reeling back and trying to nurse our own broken hearts. i’m excited to get my life back and return to my true self. i knew if that man truly loved me, the way he always claimed to, the silent treatment would’ve never taken place. created you to be a partner for a man who wants to spend his life with you, and who treats you with love and respect. i knew he was married but i started fallen for him. i’m in a much better place now (time is a good healer, i’m in the ‘shock’ stage, not the shock of not being with him, but all the lies, manipulation and at some points nastiness to get what he wanted over the years…. the married man i’m with is also my best friend. am currently dating a married man and i need to cut off all tires with him after reading all these mails it so true the only way is to block him so you have no tires at all with him his promises i cannot deal with any more i deserve so much more than this really i do thanks for all the emails on this website made me decide its not worth waiting. (32) met “my” married man (42) 4 months ago, when i started a temporary job. if i had my way we could have continued like this for the rest of our lives, we had reached a wonderful level of understanding and were so comfortable together. i originally posted a couple months back when i was feeling sad and lonely due to a change in my married man’s behavior. “he told me how much he loved me, and thought we were meant to be together. though i have never expected, but we share the bed, we did not have intercourse as his dialogue was until and unless we get married we should not have that. we immediately started to make out, and tho we both knew what we were doing was wrong, he's married, i have a boyfriend of 8years, we couldn't stop. however , this impression that married men give you about how bad their marriage actually is, is blown up to sound worse than it probably is. and all his effort and doings are for her, all his plans are for her interest and their togetherness. in a way i think you are getting a blessing from destiny.. neither can we be husband & wife nor a committed future together so what are we? on the other hand, if i think he doesn’t love me anymore and he totally forgets me to come back to his wife, it equally hurts because i feel abandoned and left. it was definitely hard for my married man to get me entangled in this mess. i’m not sure i imagined this i really thought i’d be single for 6 months or so and get tired of being along and start dating..questioning his whereabouts and all along he is still living with his wife……i loved this man so much but i knew in my heart the truth. she called me again and asked me to stay away from her husband and i told her i was in love w him and he was in love w me and we are going to be together and she will have to accept that and wonder where he is going everytime he leaves. i feel sad bc in the past year i’ve made some connections with friends at the gym but in order for me to separate i have to totally let everything associated with this man go. last night i get a text that he is in the hospital and lost control of his car. you need to go no contact now because this man will destroy your life and steal your soul. am also in love with a married man and i don’t know what to do. writing this to make sense out of the relationship i had with a married man to see if anyone agrees, or has also experienced, or thought the same way about this. and it’s not like i didn’t get attention from my husband but this was just something exciting and different. didnt say anything – except that we did the right thing and that he wouldnt stand a chance with me as long as he is married, as i deserve so much better than just being an affair. likewise, if you think he will be happy if you have an abortion and its not what you want, you will hate him and yourself for putting yourself through that for a man who walked away and never looked back. had a chance to spend some time together in january and i found myself to be falling for him, badly. i found a message on his phone from another woman, calling him handsome. married man feels like to meet the most beautiful, perfect man for you.’s very strong of you to stop the physical relationship, something i tried many times.. i am married, no kids, have an extremely loving husband but still i fell for this married man at work whos quite elder to me. i got pregnant during our first year together and had a son. if you aren’t even getting the basics of love care and respect, then an extra marital affair is just way more trouble than it’s worth. this is why our relationship is easy to hide from others as people have seen us “together” for many years. he was living in atlanta, ga and he had a child with another woman at the time and never looked back to since he moved. he tells me he wants to be with me, but he is married and has three children and this is the excuse i always get, the children… they are now teenagers, i feel guilty… i want to settle down and have normal things with someone who really wants to be with me… and as much as i know he wants me. when a married man says ” i feel stronger for you than my wife” but does nothing to prove that please! everything you have written, we both know them, that the married man is not worth, that he’s not ours, that he’s not ever coming back, but we keep missing them. he never promised anything, told me that before he met me never considered getting a divorce, he was used to be in this unhappy life and when he met me, he starting thinking of it, and now he thinks everyday. “what would you be, without the thought that (married man) is happy without you while you are suffering? i remember ur advice abt leavin the pathetic old married man whom m datin n i did exactly the same! never forget you are alive, your mind is stronger than you may think ( i know how the brain wash of us becoming puppets makes us feel like we can’t be strong on any level) but we can, every day that passes is a day you survived the pain. never easy, he says he loves me, ive tried breaking up with him as i cant live in a secret relationship even though i truely do love him, but he wont leave me alone and i end up getting back with him. i will never forget knowing the pain and confusion you’re still feeling at this point, but i promise you, you’re absolutely going in the right direction and you will continue getting stronger and stronger in time. i’ve left married man many times but the longest was 4 days. a point i had a complete life without him,it was not easy but i took advantage of the times he abandoned me to get strength .), i know he just likes the pub…more lies to get me to feel sorry for him.’ve been reading several articles about breaking up from an affair with a married man…. he can never be happy with just one woman because he needs constant attention and energy 24/7. he doesn’t get the simplest things i try to get through to him in my time of need so it’s now just a dead end street. however, i sit and think how this is probably keeping me further away from my goal of having a successful relationship with an available man. you will see that each time it happens and you begin to get stronger. i know that he’s married i know that he’s comfortable and i know that he would never leave his kids but i also know that i was not the first affair he’s had on his wife but why stay and be unhappy and lie for the rest of your life instead of telling the truth and being happy and if he’s really chosen to make this decision to stay with his wife or his wife to stay with him how do i get over this hurts how do i begin to heal after 10 years of loving the same man? i suggested that it be best that we keep our distance until i can heal and get over theselfish emotions.!) and trying to get level-headed about it and lower expectations, have a habit of fantasising about the future as we all do! “move on” coming from the man who had told me he loved me more than anything in life and couldn’t live without me. it is the beginning of the process i need in order to get away. we were in close contact even though many miles apart. in march 2016 i started dating a great guy and, after a final night, i also managed to stop the friends with benefits relationship. just as chatting with someone online is a choice, having a lunch together, going for a drink, climbing into bed… these are all the choices which can lead to ‘falling in love’ and setting the foundation for creating and stoking an affair. once a guy like me gets on a roll and you find yourself in our sights, it will take a dedicated effort to break free. he does nothing but fight with his wife and he’s not a happy man. so those kinds of facts/truth really get in my way and that’s why i have all of these negative thoughts. 12 months ago i'm in love with a married man, we have been together for almost 6 yrs. one day he is talking about renting an apartment so we can have our own place together to now running scared. she believes that married men are weak, that they don’t have the strength to choose you even if their heart wants to, for whatever reason. negative i don’t know what to do now after 16 years together it’s like the divorce you never asked for. sucks too much energy from you and us women get to a point where we are exhausted with it. married man called 1am and of course i didnt answer and he never calls me during that time.. 6 months ago, he came around early hours of the morning and layed on top of my bed and said “it’s time you and i got together”. we started and i get pregnant and he was happy as we were getting ready for our marriage i found out he was married in africa without kids. my married man broke up with me on valentine’s day so imagine how im feeling. the knife cuts in deep over and over again but you cant get out because of fear you wont find something better. we have been through break up and make up many times like this. you deserve a man to mess up your lipstick not mascara. i always thought it was cute and romantic, like a quest. i was resentful at happy families too, or i look at every married guy like a cheater, i am thinking “he is cheating for sure”. off all contact with him, for he is another woman’s husband. been together for 23 years but married 17 years…we live in the same building…half of my neighbor knows he cheats for years…why she stay is the million question. the only way you can begin self-care is by removing the married man from your life. it’s actually very sad and it’s probably the one thing that hurts me the most to this day – the fact that he used me to devalue her, and in my case, every day because we worked together. i think it was just, like all the rest of these attached and married men, they deny a normal life at home but it’s exactly what they have, and why we get pathetic little breadcrumbs. i want to believe it with all of my heart, but after reading how so many were treated, after years of waiting, i had to let go. i wanted to put him and every man like him in his place. is it ok to rifle through a woman's handbag while she's on the train? he can never be happy with just one woman because he needs constant attention and energy 24/7. i will always love this man with him, without him, or with someone else. just told my married man that i can no longer do this. infact, i hav started getting criminal tendencies n i wish that she should just die! we have gone nc many times , last one lasted 3 months. i did ask and he messaged, he said that he felt he had lost the only human that he respects the opinions of, the only adult contact that means something to him and those few weeks he felt like he’d lost a limb and i will never ever know where he was (think he meant in his head). get the control back and take care of number one, which is you. tomorrow marks one month that i ended things with my married man. that you are letting go of a man who doesn’t belong to you. you must know just how much i told this man i loved him. tomorrow you will get to see him and all of this will feel better. i got so hurt it is hard to describe the pain i suffered and it took me many many break ups over many years to get totally away from him. i do believe there is truth to what your married man and my married man have told us, i also think we need to remember that they have not honored their commitment of “for better or for worse”. there was nothing that he wouldn’t do for me and i never, ever felt like the other woman. but my husband hadn’t touched me for many years even though i begged him to please get help, to no avail. i married, was happy for 24 of 27 years, and then discovered my ex was cheating, and our marriage was over. have been seeing a married man for over a year. and you have life in front of you, never forget that. you deserve a man to be with you all the time and not just some secret get a way., i have been involved with my married man since 6 months and have cut off communication since 3 days. my ex-married man came across as confident, comfortable in his skin, charismatic, and made me feel like i was the only person in the room. a narcissist hates begging, but will do whatever they have to, if they think they’re going to get fuel from you, be it negative or positive fuel. at times, i still find it shocking how everything turned out and i may never fully understand how any human being can cause so much anguish in another person’s life. but i know if i hadn’t have texted him friday i would yet to hear from him. i completely understand his thought process and i know this is the type of man he is, but as i told him, i can’t just keep waiting indefinitely. a part of me says yes because he’s still in my life but i’m a woman and i’m to emotional for that. i was dating a man for 5 months and only after breaking things off with him (something didn’t feel right) did i find out he was married. were so many times that i said i was done with him, but somehow, i always went back. stop calling him “my married man” he’s not yours. our 3 years together is exciting and electrifying but lately we have lots of fights he is blaming me that even the smallest things is already a big issue to me. it was ridiculous what i was willing to settle for. i’m 40 and have been with this 46 year old married man for 2 1/2 years. he will get what he deserves and he will pay for all your pain and suffer but if you keep thinking about it and if you think that’s your responsibility it just make you suffer more.’m a little love sick over him but know he is a nervous about us so is still on the dating site, and tbh he does need someone a little younger and that is all i’ve gone about – his age. we’ve broken up so many times and he has been the one to break down and get back into contact. we had so much sex and so many moments together and i seriously got very bonded with this man. it breaks my heart, but i need to get my freedom back and stop being at the mercy of his love, was there ever any. belief now is that the married man i fell in love with, and whom i believed fell in love with me, loves absolutely no one but himself. the last time he and i were together i drank a bottle and a half of wine and cried uncontrollably for hours.. he is married and is happy so why the hell does he want to torture me like this? i know i need to leave, i don’t even think we will ever be together. he said…im not too good but i am managing. he used to tell me we are soul mates and if we do the right thing in this lifetime by keeping to our family duties then karma would find a way for us to be together again in our next life. talking about our future and how he only wants 1 woman does not needs lots. do not get me wrong my husband isn’t always a jerk…about half and half but the good side is what keeps me in the relationship. i have met many men in my life and i am attractive confident and beautiful . we’ve been through what you have, and are living examples of a woman’s innate ability to rise above difficult circumstances. we are not dirty secrets, we are woman who deserve to be cherished and loved, dont ever settle for less than that..was a nasty a**hole who makes every excuse under the sun to have an affair that also manipulates us too..There is no future with a married man wishing all the time. i became involved with this man thinking it would be a brief fling. slowly i am sure it will get better just its hard sometimes and hearing from other people and the encouragement is good so thank you! i also told him i wanted a child if we were to end up together, but he said that he wasn’t sure if he wanted more children. he had put me under the impression that we would spend time together that day, but he was only interested in sex. trust all of us who have hoped for a different story, but didn’t get it. i am an intelligent woman but why do i let this married man lie to me and use me and string me along? let us know how you get on 🙂 and good luck, you’ve no need to be ‘friends’…. they have no kids together and they both earn great money so there really wasn’t anything holding him back from what i could see and from what he continually told me. it hurts me because when thinking back, i reckon he’s never chosen me from the beginning, he could have a chance but he got married anyway and what he always said to me is he was sorry he couldn’t be with me 100% of his time, that he was not 100% mine although he loved me with all his hurt. i know i love this man but i can’t leave my husband now, and my family will completely disown me. its hard as a single mother with no affection and you meet a great guy only to find out he’s married. when we are together for a few minutes here and there the way he makes me feel is indescribable but the heartache and loneliness when we aren’t together hurts more than the good times. you deserve so much better my love and you will get through this, i promise. of course i am caught up with a married man and i am starting to realize how much i want it to be over. after hang out with him and try to understand about married cheating man - i know i am playing with fired but i always backed away when i know i am in the danger zone. i miss my married man so much it hurts, the worst pain ever, yet he can laugh and joke like we never existed – we go to the same gym. i can’t believe that this is the man who used to put his nose close to mine so that he could breath the same air that i was breathing. it was uncomfortable and awkward but i held it together until he left and then of course broke down into tears. he's a man who is currently lying to his wife about his activities while he cheats with you. today i couldn’t get up to go to work. one minute i like him and find a way to be ok with this and the next minute i am saying i deserves better than this…i deserve a man that is not attached to someone else, a man that is available to love me. everything i read says to cut off all communication with the married man in order to heal, but how do i do that when we have a child together? am 24 years old and have been dealing with a married man would be 3 years in october. one thing that really hurts is that i have to be the one getting rid of all the mementos of us, he never had any of them of course. i for some reason cant get myself to do no contact. am currently involve with a married man for a year now. we were together for 4mounth and he offer me being his business partner which was his way to my world. a year later married man resurfaces ( there was rare but occasional contact, openly during my marriage) and we decide to meet. remember they preyed upon us at one time and getting your email way back when was part of his plan. there is too much pride there… we didn’t think of this and the consequences beforehand and i know why. dumped my married man on 15/4/17 this time for the 6th time and im sure this time im done ,i will not listen to his please again ,we had dated for 2 years he never told me he still stays with his baby mama all along i thought i was dating a single dad i had been suspicious he could be staying with the baby mama but never had proof when i found the proof i dumped him but his been contacting me since his been pleading that he loves me & wants to marry me but truth is if he really wanted to marry me the 2 years we hve been together he would have already broken up with baby mama to settle for me he dnt. for 2 years we had what cab only be described as a semi physical affair – foreplay in many places but no sex. i know, chances are, many of you don’t think the narcissist applies to you or your relationship (i was there … i know how you feel), but please just read the link below because it may just save you many years of unnecessary heartache and deep (usually incurable) pain. can talk to many people who have experienced similar situations on my blog. i managed to go five months no contact and then when he messaged me i caved. unfortunately, for many, they don’t get the lesson the first time, so they tend to keep repeating their dysfunctional behaviors. he also gets jealous about other guys but has no issues talking about going to a nice din with his wife. almost a year of my life, i was with this man. you would be surprised how manipulative and persuading some men can be. we’re both married and i find it’s harder to break up with him coz we’ve been living together for 3 years now abroad. just wished i understood how married men go from one side to the other in a matter of seconds?… here is my update; it gets harder coming here to update- a funny thing happens after you srart healing; the grieving starts diminishing and you tend to forget. don’t beat yourself up on that, if married men didn’t withdraw the way they do, we wouldn’t need to be so over the top in our pursuit of them. when he took my old phone i had not reset it and there were some texts from a couple other guys i had dated while dating him… he became furious and asked that it just be me and him so i agreed. he has been married for 8 years but no children, every time he mentioned about his wife he was sad and always portrayed that there was nothing between them. just told my married man that i can no longer do this. i told him he on numerous occasions “i don’t get it. after all, it’s not all about dating and affairs, is it? they don’t leave…and you get to a point where you just can’t handle it anymore, and in fact, it almost sends you crazy. he was completely up front and said he’s married with 2 daughters and has zero intentions of leaving his family. they will have a happy family, still play sweet heart with their wives, are still happy dads, they have everything while we lost it all: our pride, our dignity, our love, ourselves. tried many times but still end up being normal again to him. and if he is so easily manipulated once, then who knows what is around the corner. honestly guys it seems ridiculous but that how it happens. forgave him since i had no evidence but what was strange is i never knew where he stays which shows that he stays with someone since then ive tried to break up with him like 5 times but i find myself letting him back in my life again when i breakup with him he tries to ask what the problem is his so caring all ive dreamt of but his someone else’s man. many men do you know who are ruining their lives because of a woman? i believe, to the very core of me, he has destroyed many lives. am also in love with a married man and i don’t know what to do. and i had never been with a married man and it worried my sisters and friends alike., it literally kills you they will manage to live without you even after to have done so much for them. please get as much support as you can, don’t engage with him. on one hand it makes me feel less alone in loving a married man, on the other hand the pain that all your words are drenched in is so heart wrenching. the man you are talking about seems very controlling and probably abusive. i deserve some time alone to repent for being with another womans husband like he belonged to me.! marriage is hard but only good if the two of us are in it together!. but this one more time never really end, and thus starts the dynamics of breaking up and getting back together again which is the the hallmark of affairs with a married men and so detrimental to our self worth and peace of mind. 10 months ago i have been in a relationship with this man for 6 years. one really starts off wanting to wreck their married man’s family life or even their own. bear with it, keep yourself occupied and get out meeting new friends. i believe that my married man was with me only coz he was alone in this city. my beautiful married man whom i still sadly love so much. you get out of it completely and you get relief from the dark feelings in the heart. we would share stories (he was cheating before with other women), and he would even give me advice on my failed romances. i can’t say i have never been attracted to another man in all these years. like you all, i am a smart woman doing something so stupid. and yes, there are jerks and assclowns, and there are nice decent men who just happen to married. they aint married officially but they stay together when i confronted him he denied every thing he told me its me he loves me & stays with nobody. now, she urges you to stop cheating with another woman’s husband. but life got in the way, he had too many stresses and he couldn’t continue. the dates i went out with other guys really just keep my mind away from my married man. still he didn’t divorce yet, reason given is he needs to go back to his country to get the divorce done. not destroy your life and waste your most valuable years on this married man. i’m married myself, 2 young kids, and ended my affair exactly 1 month ago today. the wife is very strong willed, thinks a lot of herself and extremely manipulative. so it’s not like you can’t be in an affair with a decent man, but most often they never break up with you in a decent way, relationships end all the time but it’s only with married men that they are so long drawn out, torturous and exhausting.!I am completely heartbroken and devastated, what hurts also is i can’t share this with anyone on my life because it’s wrong dating a married man, no one would dare give me any comfort, for this is what i deserve; which brings me here. what i did till i knew how to live without my married man. many woman have said if he lie/cheat on his wife he will do the same to you. item: dating a married man: memoirs from the "other women". i haven’t had news from my married man since a month. part of me is so angry that he can get away with this, but other part of me has realized how broken and selfish i was to have even fallen into this situation in the first place. i read my married man’s love horoscope everyday wondering how he’s getting along with his wife or whether he had another woman when he had me. they had been married for about ten years when i met him. married man has made his choice and he is happy. with my married man almost a year and a half. no man is worth it (nothing in life is either). but i just cannot accept a relationship where a man’s heart is torn in two. little did i know then he had proposed to this other woman.“to anyone who is still involved with a married man, all i can say is end it now,” she says. would suggest, in your case, starting with the second book because it’s filled with the reasons why you can’t get him out of your thoughts and heart.. i know one thing though, no man has ever treated me like this before. just tell the woman i have no idea what u are talking about. i felt so alone until i found this site and all of you, and i’m truly grateful you shared your stories even though it makes me sad to know so many other women are experiencing such pain.. you can only get over it if you do the right thing and rescue yourself from the dream quickly becoming a nightmare causing you pain, pain that is very real unlike the way things play out when you rely on (your mm) someone else to do the right thing.’ve been seeing my married guy for a little over 1 1/2 yrs. it was very toxic some days as he was very measured in his approach to me, while i used to throw caution to the wind and want to see him and speak to him on the phone every chance i get. he had asked if it bothered me that he was married and i said no, i was so caught up in what was going on i didn’t think twice. 11 months ago i have a boyfriend who i have dated for seven years he loves me so much, i betrayed the trust he has for me by dating a married man i met five months ago i am in love with him don't know how to tell my boyfriend i vowed never to date a married man, i don't know how i found myself loving him. so many unanswered questions i had so i contacted him again. i met my married man last may on a dating site. ;d ) – this poor other woman in his life deserves better herself. any woman reading this, you are not alone if you want to break up with a married man, we are here, we are a support group from different countries and we will and have helped each other more than we thought. these men lie and manipulate and by the time you realise, you’re in love with low self esteem as a result of competing with his wife. i’m trying to move out of the country, get a new job, know good friends. there it all started… i knew he was married with one child. do i shut him out for good i still love him, his good to me but i need to settle down how do i go about this anyone in my situation where its you who wants to dump the married man whose so good to you. i get told to just stop thinking about him and move on and i think well i’m trying to? i am dating a married man and when i am asked if i am seeing anyone, i say no, he gets angry. i just ended a 4 year relationship with my best friend and love, we are both married to other people. i don’t get why my heart doesn’t stop loving some one who keeps hurting me. article as well as all your comments have made me decide to once and for all end my relationship with a married man. i bet you felt all sorts of different emotions when seeing an email, and getting those calls, from your ex-mn.. we continued being together despite my husband’s doubting on me. created you to be a partner for a man who wants to spend his life with you, and who treats you with love and respect. read sitting target (on amazon) and you will find out why. we have parted for 3 months already but i cant seem to bear the pain, i cant get myself used to it. one day he couldn’t get enough of me and after he’s had me, he pulls away. i’m so sorry you have been on your roller coaster ride for so long. it took me a total of 6 months, but little by little i got rid of anything my ex-mn gave to me and each time i did, i felt just a little bit better. well one day out of the blue (i was doing well without him, i am the one who broke it off) he left a message on my vm that he was getting married.. and i am young, recently married to my childhood sweetheart. if he’s on a dating site and married, that should be your first sign that he’s a creep..im happy but the other said still have pain cos he is married. he used to socialise with his friends and his gf lots (the first 2 years we were together, which i accepted)…but then they moved from the edge of the city to the end of the peninsula which is just hard to get too and not somewhere you can pop too. “he told me how much he loved me, and thought we were meant to be together. he’s become a bit distant since he found out about the pregnancy and not as affectionate but he’s a very intelligent man and i like having him around as a friend. he told me he will come back this friday so that we can discuss everything and told me he will book his ticket right away. unfortunately, for many, they don’t get the lesson the first time, so they tend to keep repeating their dysfunctional behaviors. shay i totally get what you mean you feel they want you but they cant act . i no longer care if they argue or not, make love or not, celebrate valentine’s day together or not because he is showing me clearly he is a good liar. but on easter sunday, after nearly 5 years of being together, i received his usual, loving, good morning message, yet it was as if he had copied and pasted the message a previous message. how does a decent man say, “i can’t discuss this now, maybe next week” and “i can’t love you the way you want, but (but? so i texted him friday morning and was just telling him how i will always miss him and how much i cared for him and we chit chatted throughout the day and by the end of the day we were back to talking like we always have. i guess where i get upset is that he speaks the truth, i lose, i have to change my thinking.. he continues to contact me once or twice a week with the usual text on how beautiful i am to him and how he misses me etc etc etc… i was getting stronger by the weeks and then wham. to anyone that is starting an affair with a married man or considering it please run like hell. to have him to myself for this long has been amazing and now i cant imagine them two being normal together.’ve often wondered (throughout my life) why it was that i attracted so many negative people into my life; and now, i know why. he was manipulative at times, controlling at times, selfish very often, and always turned things around on me. we had a great night together then the next day he found out and told me. how does a decent man say, “i can’t discuss this now, maybe next week” and “i can’t love you the way you want, but (but? i also included some things i found on the internet about mm being lost little boys and lack the manhood to make a decision. shortly after getting engaged i received a letter from the married man. had a affair with a married man for the past 3 years. i had forgiven myself for the past relationship because we met on a dating site and he assured me multiple times that he was single! i mean we don’t live a life together nor anything else outside of work because he is married but to put it plainly, it is based on secrets. he and his wife got tattoos within days of each other and when i mentioned i was thinking about getting one, he blew up. my married man was cheating or trying to cheat on me. there are no better times with this man coming your way. specially married man is unavailable, and it makes him even more desirable (it’s natural thing, not our fault). my opinion is that you should meet this woman, but tell her about the fact that you're married before you start kissing and having sex. if i had my way we could have continued like this for the rest of our lives, we had reached a wonderful level of understanding and were so comfortable together. he is now telling me he will give me a baby as soon as i’m physically able to get pregnant again (if i terminate). if a man truly loved you, he wouldn’t put you through this! and the only thing i really ended up doing was helping my mm get what he wanted from his wife. but yes, most of these married men are thinking about you and are unhappy. that’s when i knew i had to start really focusing on a process to get myself out, if he wasn’t going to change his life. he always seems to find some way to get back in. matter what he says about his marriage, his wife, and his kids – remember that you’re only getting his perspective. dating a mm is just so frustrating and exciting at the same time right? if you work with him, you need to get another job. married man is also working abroad so his wife isn’t a physical presence so to speak. i’m a shadow of my former self always feeling so low … any advice on how to get through this how to see the bigger picture ? i want to explain to him that i want to be treated the way i deserved and that small things for him is already huge thing for me and we always end fighting before he will talk to me and get things fixed but now he is ignoring me and letting me the one to do a way to patch things up with him. this person has stolen 12 years of my life that i can never get back. remember this, if you can do it once, you can do it 2nd time, 3rd time, so let’s believe we could overcome this hardship together. i wish you all the strength in the world to get out, it hurts you feel empty and hurt and you want to die. i am involved with a married man and we have been together for a year and a half. it has happened to me with every man i fell in love with.. i’ve been dating this guy for over ten months now but we just broke up, he lives with his baby mama and they have a one year old daughter but he made me understand he is about to separate from her and that they stayed together because she got pregnant but that i should be patient for the baby to grow up a little . i mean y wud he do so if he doesnt love her n if hes getting everything from me? please please do not believe the man you’re involved with. when people talk about our married men as a drug, it’s the truth. we were supposed to get together today but last night got into a huge fight and i caused it. the married man may have detached from you emotionally but that’s because their brain is wired differently to ours.. but anyways the other night i didn’t get a message off him and then next day he was really odd and said he needed to talk to me on the phone … he explained that his wife’s family had surprised him and his wife with a vacation overseas…. then he told her he was married with 2 kids but we still all went out as friends.. we’re back dating each other (secretly of course) for the past year now. if u hav read other comments in this forum, u wud b familiar with the fact that none of the married men leave their wives. money problems are the worse on top of things, i hope you can soon find a new job, even if not the best just to make sure to get money coming in and a routine every day. dont wanna play smart on you, of course not, i am just trying to help and get you in a more positive mood about yourselves. he looks another woman straight in the eye and lies. part of me wishes his wife knew as no woman deserves this especially since the very beginning of the marriage and has been going on for almost a year! so, for the next 2 years, we have spent a lot of time together. is so true, because even though we want to be with our married men full-time, we all know deep down, he would eventually do the same thing to us too! 9 months ago how about not committing adultery and just staying away from married man altogether?) and then he will tell me how awful i am to do such a thing (block his number) then i’ll feel ashamed of my behavior take him back and get hurt all over again. i have gone through worst heartbroken now while married than when i dated before. am pretty sure i dont want my married man to leave his family for me. by me posting this i am just trying to get an idea that my mind is going in the right place by ending it. lois, if the married guy in your life is anything like the one in mine, he is checking in on you in person very deliberately in order to see whether he might still have what it takes to “stoke the coals” in your situation. looking back i would have never married him in the first place. i started seeing my married man again after swearing off 10 days ago.’m glad that you’re getting comfort from this site. i know that this should be the end but i can not seem to stop thinking about him, his promise to never leave me, his promise to never go anywhere all of those times that he said he loved me so deeply that it would actually make him cry and this is not a man who takes his feelings lightly. you are married and hes not about to make you his second wife.’m over my obsessive impulses now, to act in order to get his attention. married man always said i wish i can do this ,i wish i can do that with you. we talked about the future dogs we wanted to get, our future kids, growing old together…. his new wife didn’t even live with him after they were married, she only came home on weekends. we had so much sex and so many moments together and i seriously got very bonded with this man. i found out the truth i never gave him any tantrum i just told him i had found out and told him im to good to be aside woman so we end it,he never accepted that he stays with baby mama. someone i can go to dinner with someone who we can spend the night together. get a lawyer, and steel yourself for some more heartache and a fight. suddenly, having to deal with his less-than-mediocre married life has become less bearable than having to deal with a whiney side object..natural and we share so many of the same interests and and and. i took another job (not because of him) and now we no longer work together so don’t have the opportunity to see each other. of course i can’t say all mm are bad, honestly there are so cases whereby they will divorce their wife and have a new relationship with the one they love, i would say there are not many such cases. would you feel this way if he weren't married and appropriate for you? i managed to ask for his number as he had mentioned previously a flat up for rent and i was looking at the time so used that as an excuse. yes, i miss the married man but i miss the man i used to know. tomorrow is another day and the beautiful thing about new days is that you get to start over my friend. how many of these married men do you think have done that? what gets me is this is his idea to end things. how can i leave this guy when i have a car that doesn’t run and all these clothes, no money to even get a meal, or any form of communication to anybody through cellphone. my married man broke up with me four times in the last two years, although he doesn’t really call it break up. i truly believe this man loves me deeply, which is also why it’s so hard to let go because i can’t let go of the hope i hold onto that he might still come back some day. when things get to this level of dysfunction, it doesn’t get better. married man is not free to love you the way you were created to be loved. some days i could not get out of bed, felt physically ill, took days off of work, cried, and just slept. a week went by and he texted me that he can’t live without me and that i’m truly the only woman that he loves. when he told me that, i realized how devastating that would be if i had bumped into them, i don’t know if he really understood that initially, as he knows many people and many friends in his business,so he was covered. have written before how my married man and his wife are expecting. my heart is broken and need strength to nit get go back. just like with anything, it’s a matter of how many times your heart and brain can take a beating before you are done. he still denies it today that they live as man and wife but when i ask to see the divorce papers that were signed a few months ago he refuses and he refuses for me to meet his son. u deserve,things you like to do,body you like to have, languages you like to learn and so many other habits that can help you. have been dating my married boss for 3 years until his wife came to my house and all hell broke loose, i’ve left my job because she promised to kick me out if she finds me in the office and so pity my so called boyfriend is a coward he can’t stand up and be a man. but he is suddenly cold the last few weeks and canceled getting together this week due to his boss scheduling a meeting he can’t get out of. anytime you feel weak remember how long it took you to get this far. he is not happy with his life and he hasn’t for many years. the connections we had with the married men were about “need fulfillment” and “holes” we all have in our lives and trying to fill these holes, but it is not about real “love”. i miss my mm but i am somehow happier without him, getting some self respect back and learning to be with people who truly want to spend time with me and not only 9 to 11 type of time. i have a whole wonderful life to live without this married man! yes, i miss him and yes i get lonely but i keep coming back to this site and reading about the pain and heartbreak and i don’t want that anymore…i wish you great happiness with the right man.

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