Are You Dating a "Loser"? - Women's and Gender Studies, The feels like you’re constantly dancing to the beat of his drum rather than the other way around. have all been there at one time or another — fallen head-over-heels for someone, despite an abundance of red flags waving in our face. allow them to think anything they want about you as long as you’re in the process of detaching. this is the “honeymoon phase” – where they catch you and convince you that they are the best thing that ever happened to you. “the loser” tells stories of violence, aggression, being insensitive to others, rejecting others, etc. you don’t say “i love you” enough, you don’t stand close enough, you don’t do enough for them after all their sacrifices, and your behavior always falls short of what is expected. become more boring, talk less, share less feelings and opinions. he will do his very best to make you feel worthless, so that he can feel superior to you. many individuals are forced to “play confused” and dull, allowing “the loser” to tell others “my girlfriend (or boyfriend) about half nuts! if you listen to those phone calls, as though taping them, you’ll find “the loser” spends most of the call trying to make you feel guilty. look up the symptoms of a sociopaths victims, then you will have a small minute glympse of the torment a person was blindly led into. l grant 5 years ago from united kingdomthe one thing we do agree on dashingscorpio is that we are all ultimately responsible for our own happiness. it is not always easy to realise, lest admit to yourself, that you are dating a loser. signs 💟☮️ you're better off 🙌🏼 dating yourself ✌🏼 and forgetting the rest 🖕🏼 . if you are having problems getting over them, then you should consider implementing a period of no contact. a small token gesture which is intended solely to further increase your confidence in lending him larger amounts of money. also, do not forget that these are the very people who will be there for you, picking up the pieces, long after the loser has disappeared. if your boyfriend or girlfriend blows up and does dangerous things, like driving too fast because they’re mad, breaking/throwing things, getting into fights, or threatening others – that temper will soon be turned in your direction. when you get offended and speak up about his disrespect, he will try to claim that it was all a joke. if no date is present on friday night – “the loser” will inform you that they will call you that night – sometime. abuser physical abusers begin the relationship with physical moving – shoving, pushing, forcing, etc. rest assured that your behavior will return to normal if you detach from “the loser” before permanent psychological damage is done. this gradual chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem allows them to later treat you badly – as though you deserved it. remember – “the loser” never takes responsibility for what happens in any relationship.” they may tell others you’re crazy or confused but you’ll be safer. it is very informative and discusses some of the warning signs of emotional and physical abuse to look for within dating relationships. however i would have to slightly disagree with you about the problem not being "you" in the article. you might think that will calm “the loser” but it only tells them that the possibilities still exist and only a little more pressure is needed to return to the relationship. yes, of course we have all heard of whirlwind romances, but these are the exception to the rule and not the norm.
Dating a Loser? 6 Reasons You Can't Leave Him | you’ll also find yourself walking with your head down, fearful of seeing a friend who might speak to you and create an angry reaction in “the loser”. you will be dealing with the bad side once the honeymoon is over in the relationship.. his actions don’t match his wordsa loser has a tendency to say one thing but do the complete opposite. in public, you will be “walking on eggshells” – always fearing you are doing or saying something that will later create a temper outburst or verbal argument. hubpages and hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including amazon, google, and others.. discounted feelings/opinions “the loser” is so self-involved and self-worshiping that the feelings and opinions of others are considered worthless. he is secretly setting you up to fail at everything you do. you will be hurt and damaged by “the loser” if you stay in the relationship. it also has the potential to cause physical or emotional damage and can have a long-lasting effect on your future relationships. he lives in a fantasy world where nothing is real to him. “the loser” panics, you’ll receive a shower of phone calls, letters, notes on your car, etc. your emotions hinge on his actions in an unhealthy way. if he or she hits you, twists your arm, pulls your hair, kicks you, shoves you, or breaks your personal property even once, drop them. “the loser” will stop playing a machine that doesn’t pay off and quickly move to another. they can turn what is supposed to be a loving, supporting, and understanding relationship into the “fatal attraction” often described in movies. as disgusting as it may seem, you may have to use a theme of “i’m not right for anyone at this point in my life. “the loser” is extremely hostile toward criticism and often reacts with anger or rage when their behavior is questioned. the cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. you found yourself nodding to these questions, it’s time to consider the strong possibility that you’re dating a jerk. your friends and family may spot the signs and try to alert you to their concerns. if they are cheap – you’ll never receive anything once the honeymoon is over. the question is, will you choose to act upon them? that effectively keeps you home, awaiting the call, fearing the verbal abuse and questions you might receive if you weren’t home for the call. “the loser” only is concerned with how they feel – your feelings are irrelevant. this is another method of destroying your self-esteem and confidence. someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. you start feeling guilty during a phone call, get off the phone fast. the generation gap, women's liberation, and children divorcing or suing parents movements did not help much with this practice of family involvement. you may even discover that your partner has a history of this type of poor behaviour.