10 Signs You're Dating and Not Just Hooking Up Casually | . but again a week ago he was encouraging me to meet other guys and hook up and i was like ‘why are u telling me to do this do u really want me to? real problem with fwb is that no matter what rational boundaries are set, the hindbrain does what it wants, and odds are somebody’s going to want more. i mean i feel a connection way beyond the sex cus that was never the main focus our friendship was and is but i’m unsure. wonder if you ever wanted no strings attached, that saying that was just a negotiating technique or a defense mechanism to keep yourself for getting too attached too early. if he did get hurt by the previous gf, he may not be ready for another commitment. the thing is, he hasnt formally asked me out on any dates, or expressed that he wants to be in a relationship with me. he is constantly complimenting me and he swears he has never been a cheater and will never be with another girl as long as we are seeing each other. a guy isn't going to waste his time having conversations with you if he doesn't care about you. but i’m afraid if i ask, i will come off as too “much”…. he texts me everyday without fail and calls me every week. every girl at my school was totally head over heals for him and i was too. he told me that he understood where i came from, he was trying to keep in touch with me as much as he could, or he was giving me a lot of the free time he barely had. so i explained to him about my past relationship and that i didn’t think i was ready and he totally understood and we left it in the past. we share the same political and (non-)religious beliefs and we both love movies and books and have similar backgrounds, etc. he’ll bring me my favourite candy on a study date) he is territorial – much of his facebook has to do with me, which is more or less a public indicator of all the time we spend with each other (his ex has taken note 🙁 she has expressed her dislike at the situation – shes not over him) most importantly, if another guy starts flirting with me he will get concerned and interrogate (and plays it off humourously – “designed to elicit information” hits the nail on the head perfectly) i have a best guy friend at university who’s girlfriend happens to be my best friend back home (the three of us are really close) i have to convince my guy frequently that i dont have feelings for my best friend, and the one time that the two of them chatted with each other, my guy acted rather hostile to my best friend. get a text the next day asking how i am and then i hint at (did not offer/ask) a second visit, and he says he’ll call, which he did a few times to keep me up to date on where he was with his guy friends, all of whom were listening to him talk to me sweetly on the phone. used to text me maybe once a day… we wouldn’t text all day either it was just about classes or about something relevant at the moment (no “hey”. think this is a case of both us us exhibiting the principle of least interest and it’s driving me insane. hung out a couple more times and then, about two weeks ago he came into a room i was in with his friends studying. if he plans a date with you a few days in advance to go see a movie or get something to eat, he wants to date you. i know this is my 3rd maybe 4th post but i am not getting anywhere, so anybody reading this please respond and susan if you do read all my posts as i said before i’d love to hear your straight up thoughts. a part of me feels like he genuinely wants this to work, but something else makes me feel like he might not be as interested as i am. if i could bring myself to date a guy, i would definitely pick him in a heartbeat. seems to be quite some deranged behavior of others in his hinterland that perturbs me. that’s my fear because i don’t want to be the girl before the girl the guy marries. since my first relationship went horribly wrong due to rushing, i am more than okay with taking my time. when we finally got together things were awesome, but i got drunk and yelled at him and i dont remember what i said and he wont tell me what i said but he was freaked out and stopped calling me the usual nick names etc but we still had sex after that episode i guess i did in an attempt to get closer to him, but he never wanted to be with me in public after that, his excuse was every one thinks we are dating already and i dont want a commitment (he had a bad break up). that night he finally kissed me and it just felt so wonderful. he considers us friends, nothing more, nothing less and that he wanted us on the same page. it’s wonderful how you take the time to respond to all these women by delivering practical yet caring advice. i just said no and asked why he ignored me.’ve been trying to let this go and i found your website and decided to just get it out one time in hopes of finally having some clarity! he always kisses me hello and gives me a kiss and a hug when i leave. at any time either of you could meet someone you like more. on the way there he tells me tonight is the night of his date we had fought over and that he tried to move it to the day time but the girl said it wouldn’t work for her. started to go out together; i started to like/notice him around mid december due to some heart-quality he showed to me and i was deeply moved by that way of being. he cared about whether i was having a good time or not (whereas before it just was so long as he was happy, hah) and for the first time he stayed all night and slept beside me all cuddly. i got to see him crying at work, it made me so sad. hope he gets the proper help and a sincere look within himself)i am learning that there is some ….-he’ll slip sometimes and refer to me as his girlfriend. when it didnt work out he told me he’d like to “hang out” again, when the next weekend comes around. he was there for me when th eguy i was seeing cheated and drove to my uni to see me and just talk all night. he kisses me in front of friends, h loves meeting my mom, wants to meet my dad, etc. you give me an example of what should i say? after that i will close comments and give instructions for contacting me. statement that you're not even sure he knows what he wants is a telling one – it sounds like he does have mixed feelings. this guy doesn’t talk to me all day long like we used to and i just feel like he doesn’t go out of his way for me ever.(there are always popping up and being waved … i just did not want to acknowledge them/ see them)i am learning to trust that the actions of people, especially men here it seems, will speak louder than any fluff-chats and fluff guys will reveal themselves without fail based on their actions., should i ask him next time i see him in person or is it ok if i just ask him over the phone? so, we have been dating since mid november (but keep in mind that thanksgiving break and a month apart during winter break are included) we texted all over january winter break, like he was super sweet and cute and really made an effort, calling me on the phone as well. he is home every 5-10 days for a day, then back out. he would sometimes refer to me as his gf and try to kiss me and hug me.. there’s something unfortunate (and perhaps unfair) that the person who feels more gets blamed. do you think something has shifted or am i being paranoid! susan, i hope you can shed some light on a situation i thought i had with a guy! recently, we have been spending quite a lot of time together, at least 3-4 times a week.: kara is, but later i think, my other two roomies are not. he has severe problems expressing his emotions about his “feelings” for me whatever they may be…he gives me glimpses of his caring side and i truly adore and enjoy spending time with him but i’m very confused.,i’ve “hooked up” (no sex) with this one guy two different times within the past four months. we spend every weekend together, sometimes he’ll get off work (his work is midway between his home and mine) and spend a night over during the week. but this really helped me know where i stand and if the girl i am talking with right now is taking me seriously. is this a communication issue, or does this indicate a noncommitment from one or both of us?.go to dinners (he always paid for me) going out for ice cream renting movies going to see movies going out together on the weekends whether it was w/ my friends or his…things were perfect with us. to me, it seemed like he cared a great deal about me.,i’m puzzled by how things are going with this guy and need some advice. then another night at the bar we danced and ended up making out on the dance floor, he took me back to his dorm and we just made out for awhile, talked and watched a movie and then he walked me home later that night. i was alarmed (i had no intention of falling for him, both of us had just gotten out of horrible relationships and, as far as i had thought, both of us were looking for an optimal friends-with-benefits situation to supplement our intense university lifestyle) and i so insisted that we have the “talk” when i return. my friend encouraged me to email him just making simple conversation and he responded back pretty much telling me he noticed me and wanted to hang out. when i asked him if we were on the same page he said he likes me alot and not to worry about anything. i am a 20 year old female who started to hook up with a guy lets call him “john”., i’d like some advice or at least feelings about this relationship or whatever it is i have…i met up with this guy in first year of college, this was about 6 years ago. thank you for your help 🙂oh and i forgot to say, concerning the ‘hooking up’, it wasn’t just a physical thing. did talk about been exclusive with each other, he told me he wasn’t seeing or talking to anyone else and that yes we are exclusive. i’m so confused but really feel that there is something there between us.. i really don’t know what to do because he didn’t give any warning, and i think it was my outburst that caused this. he plans for us both three months ahead, cooks for me all the time, tells me things he never told to anyone before, is eager to cover all the bills up and prioritizes me in bed always, suggested to meet my child. i was gentlemanly at the time and said i understood and recieved a very passionate kiss outside her dorm but was left out in the cold with a major boner., i’m still distrustful of guys (after my ex) and don’t know if i’m capable of being in a relationship. one night we just cuddled and i thought maybe this is going somewhere. and after 2 days, he texted me again last night and was flirting a little bit and i made it clear to him that i “used to” like his dirty talk and he got the point when he said ” well, i don’t think you do now that’s why i said ‘used to’. my heart dropped and i guess i realized then that we probably wouldn’t be getting in a relationship because i figured it would be impossible to do when separated like that. he spent a few nights at my place (no sex, just spooning in bed until we fell asleep). the friendship aspect is still there, he remembers little things i say to him and asks my opinion on things that are important to him. then he said he wanted to just sleep with me and that if i just wanted to sleep with him.’ve spent a lot of time on this guy, and i encourage you to stop right now and realize nothng will ever come of it. also the whole time i have known this guy his friends always call him a man whore which concerns me a lot, but at the same time this summer i spent a lot of time with him to the point where i would have noticed if he was with lots of girls. after our last exchange there was a moment where he asked me to fo something and i joked about getting a prize and he said anything. i just let it go and finally he emailed me to see how i was doing and noticed some changes i’ve made (just school direction and such) and was writing to me like nothing bad happened in the past. i’ve been told that he does but he is ‘afraid of commitment’ or something, i understand he was traveling before and have always been understanding of that and that could be a reason why he was the way he was, and i’ve heard that if a guy isn’t financially/emotionally ready, he’ll push any girl away, even if he really cares, and who knows maybe he’ll come back when he’s ready. is this guy confused, screwed up, not into me, the two times he brings up the conversation about us he trys to see whats happening and if all is ok etc but we just go round in circles. i realize that im sending him very mixed signals too but its bc im s cared he doesnt feel the same way. he didn’t know i was coming over and seemed a bit caught off-guard. one time he said we shoule get married he said he was kind of serious. very, very few men under 25 are looking to get serious, and the fact that this guy is newly single after a long period means that he is likely to want a lot of sexual variety. he said that he was more of an asshole than he used to be, but that it didnt mean he didnt care. most guys just hook up and move on or i guess the term ‘hit it and quit it’. so, about that time as the gods would have it… i got a call from a really good guy that i have known for the better part of a decade and we had drinks (no hookup! i wanted to be like a man and sow my wild oats if you will., there is something very strange about a guy who does not like sex. truth is that in this smp many guys are not interested in a long night of cuddling with some groping thrown in., i love this freedom of not having my center of gravity evolve around the action or non-action of a man. know this forum is intended for girls, but i feel that you could probably help shed some light on my situation. however, many men don’t attach any importance to these behaviors. if there’s no real possibility of a future, and he is deciding to keep it casual for that reason, then falling for him is a bad idea. i thought we should probably get onto the same page about this. after my friend left, he has gone back to how he was before the friend visit.: haha well if u can find the time stop by borrego 2nd, im the only one herethis is when i get annoyed. he said that when he finds out if a sex buddy is falling for him that he cuts the sex off and concentrates on being friends. months ago i was told by a man who also works there and who has been friendly, kind and very helpful to me whenever i had asked for help, that he actually has been very attracted to me ever since he met me. so the whole relationship was kinda not there, it was a mutual break up, even though i was really sad about it, and really liked him by that time. j/k, just send some xxx’s my way; those can stay up here a lot longer than your fingers, haha! i still haven’t met his family or friends and he hasn’t ask me to be his girlfriend., keeps rushing into my life as soon as he feels that i am settling back into my world with my husband. he acts like one most of the time, but he never verbalized his intentions. couldn’t explain it but just something about him somehow got me attracted to him. we are both in our thirties, we met online, the first time we met in person something clicked just right and literally sparked: a short mid afternoon date ended up lasting for almost 6 h during which we did not stop looking at each other eyes, smiled stupidly, and talked about tons of deep things, discovering we actually share even the most rare of habits, tastes and thoughts., do you think it would be forward or presumptuous of me to send him a little text to let him know he’s on my mind or hope you’re having a good weekend, etc? and i just felt like it's not that he didn't want a girlfriend, he just didn't want me as his girlfriend and it's just so hard to wrap your head around something like that.! its a great feeling to know that are people out there that take the time to help women like us, who are confuse and maybe need to boost our confidence. he asked me to go to a concert with him next week that's out of state, said that i should come and there's room in his car for me. he flirted and acted nicely every time he saw me. but i can’t continue feeling so insecure, and withholding my feelings. if he still says he doesn’t want anything serious, and says to let him know if you decide you want to stop, then he is clearly signalling that he has no intention of making a commitment. i just know that i need to break away from both men. we've been friends for about a year and just started hooking up a few months ago, it's not awkward at all and i'm incredibly comfortable with him which is a rare thing for me. over a year has gone by and he finally sends me an email, but he didn’t say anything, just sent me a link he wanted me to see about his experiences there. saw him a few days after that and we hooked up again. we’ve had sex three times and i have a hard time reading his personailty. the routine usually went like this: come over for dinner, cook, watch a movie, go to “sleep”, cuddle a ton, actually sleep, wake up together, cook breakfast together (the whole time he would always touch me and be affectionate while we were cooking together and give me kisses etc). is he just using her while he flirts with someone else? he took me out to dinner for the first time. he was living at home so i wasn’t able to see him until he told me he was going to be in town and wanted to see me so we set a date and made plans to see eachother. so my question is does he care about me or is it all just a game? he has told me that he finds me to be very provocative and he’s used the word cute. i’ve been told that he does but he is ‘afraid of commitment’ or something, i understand he was traveling before and have always been understanding of that and that could be a reason why he was the way he was, and i’ve heard that if a guy isn’t financially/emotionally ready, he’ll push any girl away, even if he really cares, and who knows maybe he’ll come back when he’s ready. and i know how much it seems like he just came to me because he knew i'd say yes, and i feel like shit about that. susan,i met a guy at a party a few weeks ago, and recently we’ve been chatting online. i’m not worried about the age difference at all, but a guy that age is unlikely to want a serious commitment, especially if it involves the lives of three children. he texted me ahead of time to let me know he wouldn’t be able to make it because one of his guy friends was giving him a car ride home. has just come out of a year and half relationship as well that was heading towards marriage but he cheated on her (not with me) by accident and she broke it off and it left him incredibly wounded. it was quite romantic, he had a fire waiting for me (which he knows i love). it's kind of hard for me to accept, though, because of the way he treats me when we're together. next day he tells me about a girl he’s arranged a date with. but the catch is, my ex boyfriend was abusive and i wanted out. yes, he might do so at some future point, but there’s no guarantee it won’t be because of someone else!’m going to be frank, it sounds like you guys are just placeholding for each other until one or both of you find someone else to really connect with. second time we hooked up we woke up the next day at 7am and just cuddled and kissed in bed until 3pm, talking about everything. i am rather confused about the whole thing since i have the feeling he desires me sexually only. however, being a female, it is almost impossible to have sex without feeling something and getting attached in one way or another. he approached me, made small talk, asked for my number and proceeded to ask me out the same night. he has told me of that’s all he wanted he wouldn’t have stuck around for awhole year. we went star-gazing again and he kissed me and held my hand & wanted to know about my past relationships and stuff. language, and many so called 'dating rituals' here are to me most peculiar, to say it kindly. the circumstances, im hoping he’d decided what he wants and weighed out the options before even trying to get involved with me again. like there’s no one in the room but me, and after the party is over we usually, shamefully i’ll say it, end up sleeping together. an acquaintance from 3 years ago messaged me on facebook asking how i am, how’s my boy, to which i replied, we broke up and then he joked, so that means i can take you out right?: yeah, im in my friends room haha, leaving soon, come in 10ish min? have quietly hinted that im seeing other guys in addition to him (lately not so much) and hes loudly indicated that im the only girl in his life (by joking that im ‘enough’ to deal with) – i am aware that his best friend knows about ‘us’ (the first time i met him he winked at my guy) some other points of interest: he has slept over almost every single time, and prefers it when i sleep over when i go to his place. he brought all the food and even brought me flowers. do you think i should ask him why he wants me to move up there? but as soon as we came back, he texted me and asked me to go star-gazing. talk basically every day and i went out with him and every time i would see him talking to one of his friends (girl) i would walk up and he would instantly hug me and kiss me in front of everyone and say, “this is my ‘bestest’ friend”. sure, you can say “he knows it’s just sex and nothing more,” but you should be able to understand that once someone’s emotions start rolling the rational mind can’t make it stop. i became so confused but still didn’t do anything or talk to him about things (i am very passive when it comes to relationships)i don’t know.
“Does He Like Me” Quiz (Really Works!) he’ll kiss my forehead, carress my hair, hold my hand, kiss me, etc… and there’s the sexual parts too… but anyway, we’ve been real close since that very first day he called me. we ended up just hanging out like the first time and it felt the same. met this guy at school and he insisted getting to know me at first. it would be a grave mistake to put your needs on the back burner while trying to meet his. did asked him one time if he was shy when it came to making the first move and he said yes. he volunteered to ride in my car a day early to hang out with me and a couple girls he barely knows. he also invited me to hang out sober and asked me about my new job. women do the same with who they’d sleep with. if he wants to stay uncommitted, he owes it to you to tell you if he gets with some other woman. i told him to tell me the truth, even if it hurts, and it took him awhile to respond back, i’m guessing either he put it to the side because i blew it and he didn’t care or because he was trying to figure out what to say. i remember most of the conversation we had but there are parts that i don’t and that’s what’s killing me. another such example was last night when i left my facebook on his computer and he took my account, and commented on some girl’s insomnia-related status that “thank god i had *** to help me sleep, he is such a nice guy – you need to text me about this :p” … i’m not even sure how to react to that, he said it was just a joke but honestly, it seems he wants everyone to know that we are “together”.. he doesnt want to be with in public but pretty much every one knows we are hooking up and our friends know about each other as well. i mustered up the strength and asked him if we could progress and become official today and he said. so i say i’m housesitting and could use some company, and he says he’d love to and maybe keep me company all weekend. eventually he confessed he had feelings for me and i said that i didn’t feel the same, but didn’t want things to stop. but the big question is does this mean he will never want a commitment with me? we also have the most amazing sex i’ve ever had in my life…. he’s giving me mixed signals and i can’t desifer them. also he randomly texts me tue day after he broke his arm to hang out and have dinner. in fact, i think it’s very odd when people get really close and are spending a lot of time together and don’t talk about what they’re doing, or try to define it in some way. i was worried he would stop hanging out with me when i gave him that answer … but if anything, he has been more caring and thoughtful since that happened. we have become incredibly close, he’s introduced me to his best friends and i have introduced him to my best friends (my roomates, and he has become extremely close to them in particular), we spend most of our time around each other, preferring to study with each other and hang out with each other. i also don’t want to be the one to ask, because there have been a couple times we discussed it (briefly) via text messaging, and he indicated that he “definitely likes sex with me, but also really enjoys hanging out with me. we had sex again and again there was more of a connection than the times last year. the whole recurrent hooking up fizzled out after the bad sex. really dont know how to approach this i know hes said some things before and came crawling back to me but i dont want to be used for just sex. i don’t know how much hurt i can keep taking from him in hopes that we’ll be something more in the future. when he was asked if he liked me he juss brushed it off and tried to change the subject. i have always known men to do what they say.. and then we hung out for a the rest of the night and i slept over with him (no sex, but we hooked up) (i had gotten locked out of my dorm and he said i could sleep with him). often say that they enjoy intimacy in the moment, but that it doesn’t change their desire to stay single and pursue other women. bring it up next time you see him, and say that you don’t want to be demanding or a nag but you’d like to talk to him on the phone (make it sound like something you’d enjoy rather than a demand on his time). some say he’s not “good-looking enough to be”, but he is charming and i find him adorable. but at the same time, i have this feeling like he checks up on me too via my blog and social network site. suggests or helps you find someone else to do it. he always asks me question after question after question about me, almost like i don’t even get a chance to answer his questions because he keeps asking more! i feel like i’m over thinking everything and it’s driving me insane. both times we’ve hooked up, i spent the night and he wrapped his arm around me all night and throughout the morning. i have difficulties to fully trust and show my emotions without holding back, because i am affraid to get hurt. he even admitted like he felt he loved me (in which i rationally just thought was cute, but didn’t buy cuz it was too soon). normal everyday conversation consists of me sharing while he says nothing.“then on thanksgiving, he didnt call me but texted me that night saying “hey sorry i didnt call u, im not feeling well, will try to call u tomorrow but i cant make any promises” and he didnt call. yet i wonder if he does this to every girl he hooks up with. i think about him all the time and miss him like crazy. i remember i was holding onto him and i didn’t want to leave. forward to this past summer and he randomly texts me to say he misses me and remembers hoe awesome our first night was together. now his brother was explaining to me how anthony (the new guy) is always so quick to fall in love etc…. after that, we still texted often; maybe i was paranoid but i got mad if he didn’t not text me everyday.” i said i guess i would and he said well, you never know you might find a man, fall in love, get married, and move to somewhere like ______”. i used to hook up with a guy that i had gotten to know a bit as friends first. i think i’m not fully committing a crush here because he is a commitment phobe and always pulls back from me when we have deeper convos – he did this even when we were just friends. he is always texting me, he tells me that he misses me through out the day, has a nickname for me, he comes over after he is done with work, picks me up from work sometimes, has introduced me to his daughter and close friends which he considers family. i had not been drinking and decided to make my way upstairs to the bedroom of one of the guys.“so i guess my question really is, just because he’s not ready for any sort of commitment now does that mean he won’t be in time? he introduced me to his best friend and the three of us hungout for a bit. but over time he became more and more attractive to me. i know you’ll miss the attention, it’s flattering, but as long as you are attracted to him and in touch, you’re making yourself emotionally unavailable to some guy who is single! curious and feel the same way as he does, but he doesn’t seem to care. i can honestly see he genuinely cares deeply about me. talked to him yesterday (monday), he told he wanted to see me and that he would call me, he knows that today and tomorrow i was off but i didn’t heard a from him today 🙁 do you think he lost interest or he is just busy…? we live very close to eachother within an artist community and have mutual friends so came across at another event just near where i live (with other people), that evening he was with me all the time, asking lots of questions, we went to my place, he met my friends, then went out again, and then came back towards morning, after a very long chat, we had sex, he was very much affectionate, hugged and kissed me all the time, we had breakfast, a few hours later, met at a park nearby with also other friends, he was looking at my eyes constantly, i was thinking i was in a dream or something, which is unfortunately the case i guess. we exchaned a couple of text messages over the weekend and everything seemed to be fine. he has hooked up with a few girls before he met me here. although we didn’t have sex, i felt terrible for my actions and broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years saying i needed a “break”. but come the end of the night she said she just wanted to sleep in her own bed tonight. it sounds like he has never fallen for anyone before, or allowed himself to become attached. went to see him with the strength to not hook up with him and i fell week and we did., despite feminization of our society, men still understand marriage as a corporate enterprise, something that needs to be constantly pruned and recapitalized, one they are expected to head up, and an enterprise upon which they will be judged as men. i would like him to love me, because love doesn’t exist and i tried everything that does…:). like him alot, i’d love to have a commited relatioship with him and see where it went, he makes me laugh, when we talk on the phone i have an amazing grin on my face, he compliments me, says i look amazing, he can’t keep his hands off me, thinks about me all the time, up until sunday, used to text call all the time. even told him no more hooking up and tried dating someone else. i would like to try and talk to him over the weekend to find out how he really feels but not sure how to do this or even if any of this means more than just fb. i said i didn’t want to hear his copouts with me because he is a good guy. the two of you should spend plenty of time doing other things before you try for sexual intercourse. i took this that he was testing me to see if i’d respond or if i gave up on him. i told him i was fine with taking things slow and keeping things causal at first and seeing where it went from there but now it seems like it is more, he is spending hours talking to me about my life and things in my past, telling me about his life and him growing up his past sexual relationships and his “first time” i have spoken to him about mine. i originally found this article because a few of his friends have told me he’s “in love with me,” whatever that means. he got really defensive and tried assuring me to stick it out and see where it goes. in other words i haven’t met a guy that really piqued my interest until……before new year of 2012 where i was introduced by my close friends to this amazing (and hot) guy (he’s 34, a bit of an alpha i think but has been known to be in ltrs) during a party in a bar.. i’m scared, what if he rejects meeting me, or what if he said he doesn’t know what to say anymore or anything.: shutterstock he didn't try to immediately make a moveyes, there are some relationships out there that happen after sex on a first date. my question is this, should i have cut the date off early and not let her stay over on the first date? i like this guy and i just want to know if he likes me back. those are the signals that point me in the “more-than-friends thinking” direction.– cuddles post-sex and stays the night as well as in the morning – leaving w/ me at the same time. long story short we had a conversation and he said something that i took the wrong way and pretty much thought he wasn’t interested in me at all. he exihibits all the signs in the article, he seems interested in my life and even confides in me about his. he shows some of the above signs but im still in the dark., though, you’re facing the same problem so many young people face when they hit it off: an expiration date. well later on that night he was texting me to tell me lets do something on sunday i said ok. to me like you are in the awkward and unpredictable stage of figuring out whether and how you will transition from a few dates to actually dating. i know you dread it, but believe me, it is the only way forward. and he’s not supposed to care about me after about 5-6 yrs? if a reasonably attractive guy wants to be sexually stimulated, he’d be going beyond first base and he wouldn’t be using you for it, he’d find some floozy who’s begging to go [email protected],if you mind me saying something – you know, technically he didn’t “stick around for a year” bc you guys technically didnt meet up or do anything solid, it was just back and forth texting — however the fact that youve hung out all summer and the fall before hooking up in november(was it? he will again state that he is not ready for commitment. he asked me to stay over and we cuddled the rest of the night and even into the morning./susan,i find helen’s comment to encapsulate all of a typical woman’s (and a lot of men’s) thoughts about fwb at the same time., the fact that his profile is off the dating site bodes well for me. i realized that he was with another girl he met there who was from a different country. so with all of this being said here’s my problem… i did not have any intention of getting into a serious relationship having just come out of one but the heart wants what it wants and unfortunately my heart is telling me it wants him! his ex ended up dropping off his daughter that morning and so i did my best to avoid her and leave since that’s how things had been. that is a huge sacrifice to make, a commitment really, when it doesn't sound like he was ready to reciprocate. know i have exhaustively explained my situation as best as i can – what i really need is to know his possible angle, if there are any major clues i am missing out on, and more importantly how to approach this situation. my advice is to not do anything too intimate until you know where you stand. if he isn’t suffering the same way, he’s likely to just maintain the status quo. irks me were instances of when we agreed on an outing, but he did not show nor canceled nor called. basically me and my fab met in grad school when he sent me his number via facebook after we grabbed drinks as a group after orientation. i sometimes hear about stories where things are going well then all of a sudden the guy starts acting weird because feelings start getting too intense. i could talk to him about anything and he could me. and what i like that most is that he remembers everything i tell him about me. in general, if he is asking to see you and wanting to spend time together, you can assume that he likes you, especially if he is not trying for sex. i don’t ask him if he’s dating anyone else or how he spends his time (i really don’t want to know). and of course now that we are sleeping together i’m getting all “girlie” lol please help me sort this out. so i’m taking this as i must be something special.” maybe i should give this a little bit more time? may do all this hooking up and stuff, which is fine, but if they dont care about a girl, they are really making it harder on us and make us feel worse by playing with our emotions. that seems disrespectful to me, unless he’s made it clear he doesn’t mind. he was so affectionate it put me off balance, because it was intense. but after only the 2nd time we hooked up he was all cuddly and sweet and kissing me on my nose and forehead and said he liked me and even asked what my plan is for new year’s and it’s only august! some things, behaviour or words are simply not okay to do or to say.. ignoring him when he said hi to youthis isn’t like some dude you met in a bar that night. my next question is this, should i cease communication with her by respecting her decision not to return my call? at this point (about august that year) he still had not asked me out or anything. i told him to tell me the truth, even if it hurts, and it took him awhile to respond back, i’m guessing either he put it to the side because i blew it and he didn’t care or because he was trying to figure out what to say. i have seen him for the longest time, and when i look at him i mess up on the music i’m supposed to be playing (if that’s any indication of my physical attraction towards him).-i met this guy a month ago and he has become my fwb. cannot peg this situation… the smarter part of me feels that i should end this now before future hurt, but the unwise part wants to continue, because this feeling i get with him is like a high i cannot control. the thing is we made out and such, but he did not try to have sex with me., during the winter break he started flirting with me a lot and i flirted back. so i met this guy 6 yrs ago in college, wasn’t really attracted to him and didn’t really say much to him at all and then one day it just hit me. if you want to be dating “out in the world” and not in his room, what you can do is lead that kind of life regardless of whether he comes along – plays, music events, art shows, pep rallies, sports, mixers, you get the idea. i know he likes me a lot because he only dates girls he really cares about. i took this that he was testing me to see if i’d respond or if i gave up on him.. so i don’t know what to do, for me is really hard to make a move because i don’t know what he is thinking and im a little shy too. you need to know whether he feels the same way. i am going to riff on your words and what they mean to men (e. your own behavior strikes me as irresponsible and shady as well – have you thought about the effect of all of this on the daughter? he was very into kissing me, using eye contact, and making sure i was feeling good, and asking me questions. my friends and i were at a restaurant and we seen two guys that kept looking at us and smiling. you’re young at 24 but you shouldn’t even consider spending a year or two with this guy if he’s not ready for something serious.. but that didnt last long before me and guy a was back together again.: shutterstock you've met his family membersif he's introduced you to his parents and siblings, that's almost a guarantee that you're dating - especially if you've had dinner with them or something like that. he finally brought up his family to me for the first time the last time i saw him, which he has never done that before (i loves his family dearly and are very close). saw him a few days after that and we hooked up again. am perfectly happy to be slow, but that sense of standstill at times (or is it still stand? he suggested we could go ‘somewhere more private’ but i declined; i said i really wanted to be with him but i implied that i wasn’t really used to doing these things on a regular basis and i needed just a little more time. for leaving a comment, i appreciate your taking the time to visit several of my posts! i had to leave early june before the semester was over not expecting anything to come from me and guy a.-the look in his eyes when he looks at me is always so intense, as if he wants to say he loves me. but i don’t know if it’s just wishful thinking on my part. i have trouble talking about my feelings and think that maybe he does too. and what i like that most is that he remembers everything i tell him about me. but i’ve never brought him around, he’s never brought me around his circle and, while at first i wasn’t sure, now i know and consider him a companion. i would definitely not let him come visit unless you reach that agreement. making out with somebody you’ve gone on a couple of dates with and/or hung out with just the two of you is not abnormal or slutty behavior. i complained that i wasn’t looking for a relationship, just sex but every guy i tried the arrangment with ended up wanting to date. either way, being in limbo is just a huge waste of time!” i said i guess i would and he said well, you never know you might find a man, fall in love, get married, and move to somewhere like ______”. listen, i agree that you are getting super mixed messages. he contacted me everyday until we finally hung out and it was like we’ve known eachother for years. to be perfectly honest, part of my obsession with him is probably my thing for game-playing and drama; several of my friends whom i discuss with (and have only seen pictures) say “you are way to good-looking for him”, “he needs to make you his girlfriend”. i thought he’d never contact me again and i didn’t care since after he invited me to go out, i said i didn’t want a relationship.