Is my hook up falling for me quiz

  • Does He Want a Relationship or a Hookup?

    Is my hook up falling for me quiz

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    Is my hook up falling for me quiz

    he continues to come by my office to have coffe, we talk and we exchange things. i want to stay with you” he likes stroking my head and he looks into my eyes in an intense way, infact i’ve caught him looking at me quite alot and so i keep saying ”why are you looking at me? being someone’s “fake girlfriend” doesn’t count, so don’t deceive yourself. i mean this was probably why i kept holding back my feelings towards him.“am i just fooling myself into believing something might still happen with this guy? i had started to develop feelings for him too so i told him and all seemed well. a recent study revealed men place women into marry-or-don’t-marry boxes – ladders, if you will – extremely quickly. come thursday she texted me that she wasn’t up for going out. maybe it was his charger left home… a crazy week, i don’t know, but even the tone of his texts is more formal, yet interested. the fwb code reframes that person as “in the wrong” for breaking the agreement, but it’s an agreement that can’t be legislated so to speak. your friends may have a point if you two are holding back on going to full partner status due to anxiety, personal hangup, etc, but in my experience people who are “meant to be together” want to integrate their lives and bring each other into their social circles. for a month-plus of dating, that’s not a bad outcome (better to find out now than six months of hooking up later). it’s essential that you understand that, so that you don’t make the same mistake again. i don’t know if your still even answering this question but i came across it in hopes of answering my situation. also, no woman lost interest in a guy for not initiating sex right away unless she was just looking for something casual. he stopped me, introduced us, fixed us breakfast and told me he would like to see me “bond” with her if i was going to be “hanging around”. that break is now a break up because this new guy has caused me to loose all the feelings for the old guy. not even 10 minutes later he text-ed me he needed a cuddle buddy. one day out of the blue he just literally stopped talking to me! if you don’t get clarification on this you are setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. don’t get me wrong we talk about everything and anything, he does tell me things like he had a lot of love for me and cares about me, i just got sick and he was calling and texting every five mins. we share alot of the same interests, but i don't quite understand his angle or what he wants. i said if things flow in a certain direction and it feels right and worthy, my life is flexible… hi smiled wide. my question is can a guy fake making love/ passion/ intimacy? he is not interested in just sleeping with me but rather he sees me as more than friends.. just about a month and a half ago my now ex boyfriend of 4 years left me for someone else. so we went out on the balcony and he started kissing me, at which point i initiated a conversation that if he expected us to hook up he needed to contact me and hang out with me sober. He hasn't officially said he likes you, but you sense something's there. other day he told me he cancel his online account (dating website) because he didn’t want to pay again, i try to access his profile and its true, is not active anymore. he told his friend that am his special friend and then when he talk to me about his friend he said ” if you ever meet him don’t tell him this that am going to tell you”. given your anxiety and “crushing,” you don’t seem comfortable with the fwb arrangement either.  he said he could never hate me if he loved me. he seemed happy to talk to me, and said to hit him up when i came back. am a freshman in college, and i met this girl who i am very attracted to about 3 weeks ago.’ve been trying to let this go and i found your website and decided to just get it out one time in hopes of finally having some clarity! the whole night although less conversation, all our sexual exchanges (i’m not going to get graphic) were not typical to someone you randomly sleep with, or not in my previous encounters. we are both in our 30s, and i am falling for him more and more and i believe he is the one for me but i dont see any move from his side. i suggest that you tell him exactly what you said to me. if there’s no verbal commitment, all the other stuff is just a fun little diversion for him, and is totally meaningless. we still emailed for the remainder of the 7 months before i got a surprise message from him after 7 months of emailing that he was back home for the holidays to visit and he wanted to see me so we made plans to see eachother and he drove down with a friend to stay with his other friend and make sure to see me. we continued to text/talk on the phone for the next couple of weeks, we discovered that he knows my ex, and that i know his family. now, he was not married at the time he first began pursuing me- he broke up w/ his now wife, for a time, in order to do it, but then, a few months later, decided to marry her because he accidentally knocked her up. i didn't know what this meant for our "relationship," though. just put the whole thing out of your mind and do some other stuff this week you enjoy. he flirted with me on and off ans showed minor signs he liked me but i never caught cause really i didnt expect someone as popular as he was to like someone like me who was low key.  he text me after he t to ask if i was ok and i said well, yes but you did upset me. to me makes as much sense like saying: "gee, i really like strawberries, so lets not eat them for another 6 months. lot of times, studies are silly and don’t tell us much. the first time we hung out we just took a walk and talked. just text me “i can’t wait to hold you”……. i don’t think he drove down for another reason because his brother ended up going to visit his family for the holidays a few days after that so i took it that the main reason he came down was for me. from him once everywhile until around october of last year that he was giving me a heads up that he would because around in december, which i wouldn’t have been able to see him because i was going to be traveling around that time, which i found out that was when he was coming back permanently. i also enjoy his company so much, particularly the hooking up. i’ve just grown feelings for this guy and i’m not sure if i should just walk away and give up because i know my father would never allow it or keep having a secret relationship until i do get more freedom., i have read a lot of your posts and seems as though hook up situations can be very confusing lol. we again hooked up but we still talked for hours still trying to ask me questions and figure me out. am surprised that after the time apart, he feels ready to hang out again and give even that a shot after such intense emotions the first time. he would sometimes talk about his frustration with his backa nd forth ex, which i really couldn’t care less about. i know sporadically through the years he has asked me things like “would i relocate/leave my area? our relationship is so strange i really dont get it…he told me the other day basically that whenever we are out together i am welcome to stay there whether we hookup or not, ik now that hes not seeing anybody else, he told me the other day that i “so great things for him he will never deny that and greatly appreciates them”, we hangout, hookup, im so attracted to him and hes very attracted to me, we get along great most of the time but i know he does get mad bc on a few occasions i have been drunk and gotten mad at him over frustration with this situation…we have been through so much together in not a lot of time, but it makes me feel bad because i care about him so much and understandably have a huge emotional attachment to him, i do believe he does care about me but i feel like he is still nowhere close to being able to commit to a serious relationship. i played it very cool until a week after i became very upset. seems to try to break away from me every 4 weeks, but keeps coming back. he also teases me about how ‘i need space’ and how he wishes he could see me more often, but cant, because of my ‘boundaries’. for valentine’s day, he came over and cooked me dinner. i don’t think i’m really ready for a serious relationship but am not real good at this “hooking up” thing. doubt it’s true that he had never thought about it when you asked him, but obviously didn’t want to get into a heavy conversation about it at that time, particularly if he was unsure of your feelings. so, lets hope it’s for that and not for my flight tickets…. have come out of a very serious relationship 6 months ago, i was engaged at age 18 and he broke my heart when he went to university and told me that he wanted to do the “uni thing” and sleep with other girls and he could not be committed to me for the next 60 years of our lives. love has failed me and im ready to put it aside until i graduate college. he was always concerned about my feelings- even more than i was, so he was very aplogetic and seemed to want to be honest because guilt ruined him. some people should not be parents, and i’m pretty sure he’s one of them. thanks for answering to my previous mssg, i love reading your messages! he finally responded telling me he didn’t want to hold me back and that he really wasn’t making sure i wasn’t with anyone, that he was just asking (which i don’t believe because he got jealous angry when i brought up the last guy, which wasn’t even a big deal to me). ” and as he leaves he says ” i just wanted to make sure you were ok and try to put a smile on your face ” or driving 30 mins at 1am to come be with me so i wasn’t alone when i found out that my friend had passed. when he touches me, genuinely i know that he loves me, perhaps he isn’t ready for what that means, and what it can bring down on both of us.  we chatted some more, then he said he had to leave and would text me.?First, i think you need to ask him point blank if he still feels the same way he did at the beginning, or if his feelings about a relationship have changed. i cannot tell you how many women have written to me giving those behaviors as examples of encouragement, only to have the guy say he doesn’t want a relationship. some examples: he comes to my house every night and spends the night. as i said he’s still texting but he seems almost to be hiding behind those texts where as before he was calling me and i him. reading this i was thinking about a guy i have been seeing, in a casual, physical manner (sporadically over long time), but last time i saw him things went different.” now, many men are not like this…in fact most (in my estimation) betas seek monogamy with a woman they can bond strongly with. tell him that you think he could be a very important person in your life, and that you are willing to give him time. he started to show some real affection and then one night we went out and came back home really drunk and ended up having a 3 some with his roommate like he proposed. is he feeling guilty or am i stupid to think that he still has any feelings for me?,maybe if you hook up with him for another ten years he’ll think about making you his girlfriend. unlike many of the posts on this blog, i think this actually has some overall rules. women don’t want it to be too easy – any whiff of eager or supplicating and our attraction nosedives. when were alone he shows affection also and we can just hang out without “hooking up”.“i truly like him, but i act a bit untamed at times”. we meet on colleagues’ birthdays and similar occassions and sometimes we go for drinks after work with some friends. went to see him with the strength to not hook up with him and i fell week and we did. just because a man enjoys affection in the moment, doesn’t mean he’s ready to sign a lease. i can’t help but now get a sinking feeling she’s over it for some reason. he’s been very sweet too with his messages, asking about work showing concern about whether i’ve had enough sleep or [email protected] this case i have to follow my head and not my heart, i don’t speak to him or see him as much as i used, probably once every 2-4 weeks there has been times where i haven’t spoken to him for months and ever since i’ve distanced myself he has started to open up, when i do see him he keeps me there won’t let me leave sometimes i’m there for a couple of days. try to take it one week at a time, and enjoy the relationship for what it [email protected] and frustratedone of the reasons he gave me was” you are very time consuming and are enough, my meeting up with other girls would not make you happy. has said that he likes me, finds me very attractive, said he likes spending time with me. theres this guy i met who lives on my floor at school, and he is in a few of my classes. you really like this guy, i would stop having sex with him immediately. most guys are suckers and come across as pretty desperate i guess. he came over and we watched a movie and had sex that same night, which ended up being great. we both were involved in some traveling afterward, and spent a month apart while continuing close contact through ld calls, emails, skype, you name it.. and i feel like its sincere bc he is kinda of a quiet more reserved guy, not someone who is fake outgoing. he treats me nice and everything but i still wont let it grow to something more so i`ll talk to him about it and see how it`ll all work out in the end..how do i tell if he wants to stop dating me? think i’m falling for him…how do i turn what we have into an ltr…. he even dried my hair for me after and dressed me after. he hides stuff on his social networking site because he’s afraid i’ll see something. and don’t wait forever – at some point he needs to go all in, or you’re just wasting your time. he has told me about his past and he is defiantly experienced… lets just put it that way. a couple of months at the end of last year i hooked up with this guy a few times. he has had many monogamous relationships, some of which he would classify her as a girlfriend and some not. truth is that any relationship that isn’t a full commitment (marriage) lasts only as long as both people want to be in it. i go over his house around once a week and we see each other throughout the week, but i just dont understand his intentions with me. if he does reply, and wants to go out, tell him that sunday is now booked (at this point, he shouldn’t have a random-access claim on your time hours in advance). i was going to the gay club with my friend and i asked him to come hang out with me; he did although he was very afraid at first so i gave him some credits for that. my friends told me that i blew it and that was the only chance i was going to get because either he thought i responded that way because i wasn’t interested in him or because he is afraid of getting hurt. im a committed person wheb it comes to relationships blahblah blah. work, his age, his indifference and the intensity of what i feel for him, and what a does not feel for me is soul consuming. i was really upset because i felt like he was lying to me just to keep me around (for sex perhaps). advice is to stop playing games and trying to pretend something you’re not feeling – being “just friends. he was happy at the moment he had a conflict at school could attend at that moment. if by wanting to be with you, he means a full-blown relationship, you might agree to discuss it with him first and see if you both want the same thing.:oh im sorry didnt know u were on crutches :/ if i had seen u i would have offered some help. here’s how it started: when i started my job back in march of 2009 (i’m a housekeeper) there was a young gentleman who was working the front desk at the hotel. thank you so much for showing the light to so many women all over the world. i would like to be exclusive and start a relationship, so maybe i should just give it more time.  there is no one else and he does not want anyone else we are exclusive and i said if i met another guy (relationship type) i would stop what we have together, this is when he started to get wierd and was like “no you don’t have to do that we can still see each other, i’d be fine about it”. i could go on and on with a list of caring, thoughtful things he does but these are just a couple examples that to me show that he cares for me very much. thank you for your help 🙂oh and i forgot to say, concerning the ‘hooking up’, it wasn’t just a physical thing. serious relationships can and do start with hooking up, if both parties were open to a relationship from the start. i told him and he was extremely supportive and wanted to talk about things a lot in person on the phone, or one night i was out to dinner with friends and didnt feel good and i called him to come get me and he dropped what he was doing to come pick me up and i stayed the night there…or he would ask how i was feeling and would rub my back when i didnt feel good…he was really there for me. he tried to find time to make friend and hang out with me but i was very busy with school and other things. he then said that he was a loser and going nowhere with his life and that i deserve someone better than him. a month ago i met this great guy on a dating website and today we went on our 4th date. he told me one day to tell him how i feel so i told him and his response was: “just because i enjoy my freedom doesn’t mean i don’t want someone in my life. i really don’t mean to, because i am dead-set on not pursuing him or accepting his advances- and he is, despite his circumstances, dead-set on continuing to pursue me! i showed hesitency just because the situation to me is weird but whatever. which he always really wants to assure me that nothing will happen again. maybe he likes me but doesn't want a relationship right now or maybe he's hooking up with other girls, though i haven't seen him acting interested in other people. he’s ashamed to be seen with you but not ashamed to have sex with you? what really got me was how he reacted when he saw me. before anything major happens however, every time, he holds my hand and we just lay there. partial blame here goes to romcoms and other cultural tropes where a guy “wears down” a semi-unwilling woman with a nice guy beta-bonding script.’m alarmed that you told this guy you would always be there “regardless of his mistakes. he takes me out with all of his friends and mine come too. i hadn’t been able to feel for anyone since my ex. both parties have something to lose when there’s a misunderstanding. i hadn’t been with a man in over 3 years, in fact, my last relationship was with a woman. he took me to a movie, and ever since march we’ve been talking nearly every single day. he toned himself down to make sure it wasn’t too much for me and didn’t put me last. remember, men can compartmentalize b/w hooking up and love. my husband i will break away from in november, but a. so i acted like i didnt fancy him like everyone else which i think is why he showed me some interest from the start. the first thing he said to me after hi was, so what happened? it was very slow and he wanted me on top a lot, kept pulling me closer to him, looking into my eyes, saying my name a lot, and holding my hands almost the entire time. i also think the guys at hus could be enormously helpful in giving you some guidelines about dealing with women.) we make small talk on facebook when we’re both online; somestimes i start it, sometimes he does. i realized that day that i’ve never met anyone just so similar to me. there’s something unfortunate (and perhaps unfair) that the person who feels more gets blamed. i met this guy i work with about 6 months ago. can’t tell if this is too soon after my ex-boyfriend to be seeing someone new, and i can’t tell what our mutual friend wants to do about us.

    How do i know if it s just a hookup
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    i saw him in a different light when he came back.  please help i am mega confused by all this and thinking seriously of bailing completely on him for good. to me it seems that he is pushing me away, but just far enough to just reel me back in. if you do wind up in the same place, you can pursue the relationship. i separated from my husband 6months ago and am a mother of two little girls. please do check back in anytime and keep me updated! i have dated the same guy my entire high school career. he hasn’t told anyone, not even his family or friends about me. i want is to keep it casual,that was the agreement from the start and we made it clear,over and over again., last april i had sex with this guy (it was both of our first times), and since i’d been hurt a lot in the past i at first tried to make it a one night stand, but he was really sweet so i suggested “fuckbuddies.:i want to hear your thoughts tho, its not just about meand no answer. we usually run into eacth other on hallways and in the cafeteria and he comes to my office for coffe and mate (a national drink here) and the like.’m keeping my cool, i’m scared to tell him how i fee this early because i don’t want to lose him. he was the one who would search me out, pursue/flirt with me etc, and he respected me without overstepping the line. i asked somebody was he dating someone to be curious because he shouldn’t be that close to me like he is. i can always tell my brother is serious about a girl when he starts having hour-long conversations with her on the phone. he would get upset every time my phone went off, and kept asking me questions about how i feel about my ex, trying to make sure that we were definitely over. since then, i look great, i work out everyday, i watch what i eat, i have learned to protect myself agains the mental and psychological abuses of my husband and in november we will be divorce. but it seems every time i think i have he sweet talks his way back into my life ans does the same tjing. this conversation went late into the night, until he finally asked if it would be absurd to come over. trust me, if he liked you you would be on his mind constantly, he would be texting you for “maintenance”, as in, “to see how you’re doing” [or check up if youre hooking up with another brother] … id say see what the vibes are like while you guys are both on break and then see how it is when you go back to school, but in the end you should definitely stand up for yourself<3. which i feel isn’t showing he really likes me back. i felt a connection but that could just be me. he was openly affectionate in public and in the car, holding my hand, caressing my cheek, holding my hand and kissing it in the car. there is no way around the dreaded talk – that just creates a “don’t ask, don’t tell” situation – one that in my experience, nearly always works out poorly for the [email protected]’s clear that this guy loves to flirt and enjoys interacting with a variety of women., and talked after, still asking me questions and trying to get to know me., i am in college and its my second year here different program this time. watch how he communicates, how often, and whether he wants to spend time with you. he told me that i had already said otherwise and now he wanted to see things out with her. you are comfortable how you are, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, don’t let your friends talk you into ruining it by taking it somewhere you don’t want to go. on the other hand, he is an absolute gentleman, it could be something expected from him a friend said.’m checking in on this very old thread, and i will answer all outstanding questions to the best of my ability. i don’t need a commitment, but i also don’t need a broken heart…. he gave me a hug during one of his breaks (which is pda). i still dont know why i thought he would be happy to see me. men don’t consider wife material until they’ve got the radar screen on. just be careful about who else he may be pursuing at the same time.. i left him our last night thinking everything was straightened out and we were fwbs only no more but he randomly texted me “have you been hooking up with anyone since you’ve been home? he holds my hands during it, kisses me on the forehead, strokes me plays with my hair etc….'m okay with keeping things casual, a really serious relationship doesn't sound too appealing to me either at this point in my life, but i think i'm due at least the respect of exclusivity. so we got together, and ultimately it ended in us having sex, really really great sex if i do say so myself! you have an update, let me know, and i’ll try to answer right away. has burnt me in the past so i choose not to. he told me in the beginning he just wanted to be friends, but he never introduces me as such, and now seems to be getting into arguments with me or getting annoyed with me. ale: we never actually “hooked-up”, and thank god for that. but a few times and especially when he was leaving he seem rejected and offended that i only wanted him as a fb. through it all though my feelings haven’t changed because we do have a good friendship. most guys just hook up and move on or i guess the term ‘hit it and quit it’.  on the other hand, he may just be genuinely busy, and will actually text me when he has time. now, to be fair, over time, i have realized that i have sent him some unconscious signals that have apparently led him to believe that i am interested– that’s my fault, because even though i know he’s not right for me, i am still physically attracted to him; but like i said, i have been ignoring him for quite some time now, and he will not give up. he has been super friendly sense and when i got us food and made sure it was spicy he said “that’s my girl. we have hung out several times since and he hasn’t made a move, drunk or sober and our friends have been teasing me about the fact that we hooked up and asking whats up (we used to hide it before). i don’t know what he means by “it’s complicated” and neither do you! i had a conference to go to and during the entire weekend of my conference we were texting back and forth, and he hinted essentially that he was worried i might catch the eye of another guy during my conference, and that he cared about me beyond a hookup level. the beginning it was kinda on and off, i stop talking to him for 3 weeks, i ignored his text messages until he called me and ask me for a second chance that he really miss me and wants to be with me so since that time its been steady. i don’t buy that crap and i have had enough of men using me for my kind and generous nature. we talked about the lack of time issue and i said well if i met someone i really wanted then i suppose i’d make time for them and that obviously i haven’t met that person yet, he then asked if i’d have a relationship with him, i said yes he asked why and i said cos we get on really well, he is my kinda normal with good values/morals etc and the sex is great. he claimed eve his mother ans brother cant underatand it, but that space is sometimes required. sometimes he does or say things like that that makes me feel like im his gf then other times he doesn’t. surely making life plans around one another would signify an intent to marry – that you are “the one” and it sounds like after such a short time, he is in no way ready to say that. the contact has been pretty even between us, though we go a day or two without talking sometimes. if he really had respected me and had feelings for me wouldn’t that question not make sense? maybe he doesn’t want a commitment right now, but i’m not looking to rush into anything myself. we are both very busy-he works full time, and i am a full time student. i’ve been being chased by this guy i know, for a couple years now, and although, at first, i liked him, after a few months, decided that he was not for me, and short of telling him bluntly, “give it up, i’m not interested”, i’ve dropped every subtle– and obvious– hint that i can think of. (i guess that’s expected when we only hooked up once. Here are 10 signs you're dating your crush and not just hooking up with no commitment. if you like him, enjoy the time you spend with him, and let things develop naturally and without pressure. then i ended up talking a day or two later with our mutual friend who had talked to her about the events of saturday night and said that the girl really loved the affection and cuddling was fine with me not coming but that she had also said that she wasn’t looking for affection. arrives a little drunk since it was boys night out and honestly, i’ve had hookups before, and when my other fwb arrive, they weren’t like him. they’re like super bff and my friends think thy flirt etc bc she’s safe. this adnextyou talk every day on a regular basisif a few weeks have gone by and you've realized that you've been talking to this dude every single day - for more than five minutes at a time! if you stop seeing this man, i would think very carefully before entering another arrangement like this one. however, i’m aware that it’s not realistic to expect women to have “the talk” in the first few weeks. couple of weeks ago i saw my “whatever he is” and we had a horrid evening, he really upset me and was just in a nasty mood. but still i’m not sure if he is my boyfriend, or wants to be, or if we’re fwbs.. what is his typical response when you ask him to do something for you? (he never tried to go further) the other night i went to his party and he asked me to stay the night.  so i keep my options open and kick myself in the head hahaha. in the meantime my husband wants me back, but he feels like there is nothing else he can do. never defined our relationship, although he asked me once if i am using him just for sex and i said no. he has been given medicine for bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety, but no longer takes anything. wrote a few weeks ago about my confused feelings over the guy i was hooking up with on the regular who claimed to have feelings for me. im just confused i just wantvto know if he likes me and how i can play this right. fwb has also asked me to bring my dog over, since we’re both dog lovers. we’ll jump ahead a bit and basically ever since then… we hung out all the time. susan, i’d like to ask something regarding this r/s i have with this guy. anyway, i haven’t really talked to him but my friends keep asking me about him because they all seem to think he cares about me, shocked we haven’t seen eachother yet, and that we were just in eachothers lives at the wrong time. generally don’t put any time or energy into platonic friendships with women. we (me and my friend) have been talking a lot lately, even before we hooked up. so last night i ended up going out and bringing a completely random girl to my room and made out..I have never believed hook ups would lead to something and have had longterm relationships for a long time, so i had never really had to come across with this situation until a short while ago. and today understands what went wrong, but if i get too close to him, although he says that he wants to work on our marriage, he gets angry and lashes out at me. in the meantime, it’s not realistic to expect chit chat texts, especially if he’s already said he likes to take things slowly. andrew was always an amazing shoulder to cry on and about 6 months later (november 2010), we ended up hooking up sober. i could always feel his eyes on me and i was always right when i checked to see for myself. i'm falling for my hookup and i'm sure if he's falling for me. he texts me and we talk for hours about his job and his life we talk about my figure skating ( i figure skate) and all kinds of things it will get sexual for a few texts then we are back to talking about each others lives., over january he told me how he wanted to take me on a date. to further complicate the matter my ex just moved in with him. for you for vocalizing your feelings, something many people can’t or won’t do because they are too afraid to face the action that might have to follow from the discussion. thanks, again, for responding and for the tactful method that you suggested. at the time he was in a relationship and so was i. he’s responded civilly in person but hardly got back to me via other types of communication i. only evidence i really have to base this on is the following: 1) she’s never made an attempt to contact me but does respond to text messages reasonably quickly 2) i left her a voicemail yesterday about a concert tonight and have yet to recieve a response. now with all of that being said we have seen eachother almost every day since thenand every time were together he is constantly telling me how much he likes me and how good i make him feel and how great i treat him and that he’s not used to it etc… he’s more than affectionate with me and when he looks into my eyes i would swear that he is falling very hard for me. or they lived in another city or weren’t really interested in commitment, etc. he may be content to continue on in this way as long as you’re both enjoying it, with zero commitment.  this is the first time in 2 1/2months that he has not contacted me, no evening text or call and no morning text. i mean it was like love at first site with me but i’m really not the type thats comfortable around boys especially if i like them. he is somewhat of the frustrated artist as well which adds to the reclusive behavior. he even brought up to me in front of his friends something like, “if we were living together, would you do this ______”. he’s also mentioned on more than one occasion that he’s moving to the city where i live but that there’s been a bit of delay. but we would still stay in touch with msn or with facebook from time to time and when he came to visit. he considers us friends, nothing more, nothing less and that he wanted us on the same page., came into my life… i am so heartbroken, because i don’t know what a wants. boy a and i talked a few times, and my boyfriend and i even ran into him at a concert once. his not being able to enter you, it can take a while for a woman to become aroused enough to make penetration easy. it sounds to me like you need to get things out in the open.:– said “i don’t want to like you” and “you don’t want me to fall in love with you, do you? he asked what made him so different and i explained… he responded with “i like to have a connection as friends before sex comes into play… so that if anything more does or does not happen at least we have that base of friendship” he texted me the next day as if everything was normal…i am honestly so confused., madlyinaction, i don't think you are going to like my thoughts. me and this guy have talking for a few weeks. hang out and watch movies together, as well he cuddles with me and holds my hand, i do not want to read too much into it, so could you shed some light on this? however, the bottom line was ” i don’t have time for a relationship. i feel like she already knows everything about me – exposing myself like that on a first date is very unlike me. we hang out at the same bar and obviously see each other when we are outside at our houses. everyone at work seems to think there’s something between us (or there should be something going on; since we really seem to be into each other). he always asks who i’m texting, and asks if it’s my boyfriend. i found out he was on a dating website meeting other girls, but he would say ” don’t worry it’s not going to work out” i don’t know why he kept telling me that. he ended up cooking my fajitas and made me a homemade cake which he pointed out he had never done before for anyone. asked me out a day later and we had an amazing first date on the 1st of january 2012 that ended with breakfast and beer at 6 am. when we did he revealed to me that he had been thinking about me for the full 3 weeks and we made out again. i have learned to sometimes just let things sort themselves out: i. having a secret “relationship” kind of makes me nervous because most of his friends will never know i even hangout with him. the past two months, he comes rushing in once per month, only to ignore me for the next 4 weeks, and as soon as he feels my distance, he comes rushing back, only to ignore me again for the next 4 weeks. i know the new guy enjoyed talking to me too since he posted something about it on his facebook. on friday and the time before that we also looked into each others eyes whilst having sex which didn’t happen before. meanwhile, i urge you to keep meeting new people, dating, etc. so here’s my question…what are we doing then? he introduced me to his friends, and i'm always over his house. on my last night as he was dropping me off at home he said “not to miss him too much”. i volunteer at a hospital, and one day a man begged me to take him off life support.  we rescheduled again for the last day of classes before thanksgiving break, and he cancelled on me again. is tough, because it’s a weird mix of not knowing what the other person is thinking, even though it’s someone you’ve known well. he got serious and said he wasn’t like him, and continued to ask if he could kiss me. so now i feel like i’ve had my heart cut up into pieces, although technically i am not in love with him…his first and only relationship lasted 5 months but everything progressed really fast until it hit the wall and fell apart. well he asked me out on a date, and we had sex that night. my guy refers to it as ‘university dating’ (which is scary in itself, because that means he thinks that’s what we are doing as well) me and my guy were discussing it and he said “if he liked her hed let her know it, he would man up and ask her out before he lost her” and i said “but then again who would want to date their fuck buddy” and he says “you wouldn’t? it sounds like the two of you are not compatible, or it would have worked the first time. not asking you to glance into the crystal bowl, but perhaps some enlightening words on how to glean some sense from this behaviour?  its also important to know that i initiated the fwb arrangement as i am tired of being lonely, thought he is sexy/attractive and he’s always been kind to me. “boyfriend” would like to know what you mean by “fake bf”…btw he loved the chart! to me, we were growing apart a month or two before i broke up with him, so i’m already pretty much over the relationship. i explained to him that anthony had advised me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship at this time and he was shocked and also proud that he seems to be changing and he then said to me well my brother is a great catch don’t let him go. i remember we had a really deep conversation about our lives and he actually asked questions like “why do you make out with me? made plans to spend the entire day with me saturday and we did, nothing fancy, went to lunch and did a little shopping. the first thing he said to me after hi was, so what happened? and let’s add in my coffee in bed, as usual! »lifestyle »dating & relationships »dating tips » quiz to find out if he is falling for you. he wasn’t looking for a relationship he just got out one at the time and so did i, but we hang out a lot still do til this day. he is also used to a lot of sexual variety, and promiscuous men rarely make good long-term partners. reserve your affection for someone who’s not keeping you hanging.

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  • Is my hook up falling for me quiz

    10 Signs You're Dating and Not Just Hooking Up Casually |

    10 Signs You're Dating and Not Just Hooking Up Casually |

    . but again a week ago he was encouraging me to meet other guys and hook up and i was like ‘why are u telling me to do this do u really want me to? real problem with fwb is that no matter what rational boundaries are set, the hindbrain does what it wants, and odds are somebody’s going to want more. i mean i feel a connection way beyond the sex cus that was never the main focus our friendship was and is but i’m unsure. wonder if you ever wanted no strings attached, that saying that was just a negotiating technique or a defense mechanism to keep yourself for getting too attached too early. if he did get hurt by the previous gf, he may not be ready for another commitment. the thing is, he hasnt formally asked me out on any dates, or expressed that he wants to be in a relationship with me. he is constantly complimenting me and he swears he has never been a cheater and will never be with another girl as long as we are seeing each other. a guy isn't going to waste his time having conversations with you if he doesn't care about you. but i’m afraid if i ask, i will come off as too “much”….  he texts me everyday without fail and calls me every week. every girl at my school was totally head over heals for him and i was too. he told me that he understood where i came from, he was trying to keep in touch with me as much as he could, or he was giving me a lot of the free time he barely had. so i explained to him about my past relationship and that i didn’t think i was ready and he totally understood and we left it in the past. we share the same political and (non-)religious beliefs and we both love movies and books and have similar backgrounds, etc. he’ll bring me my favourite candy on a study date) he is territorial – much of his facebook has to do with me, which is more or less a public indicator of all the time we spend with each other (his ex has taken note 🙁 she has expressed her dislike at the situation – shes not over him) most importantly, if another guy starts flirting with me he will get concerned and interrogate (and plays it off humourously – “designed to elicit information” hits the nail on the head perfectly) i have a best guy friend at university who’s girlfriend happens to be my best friend back home (the three of us are really close) i have to convince my guy frequently that i dont have feelings for my best friend, and the one time that the two of them chatted with each other, my guy acted rather hostile to my best friend. get a text the next day asking how i am and then i hint at (did not offer/ask) a second visit, and he says he’ll call, which he did a few times to keep me up to date on where he was with his guy friends, all of whom were listening to him talk to me sweetly on the phone. used to text me maybe once a day… we wouldn’t text all day either it was just about classes or about something relevant at the moment (no “hey”. think this is a case of both us us exhibiting the principle of least interest and it’s driving me insane. hung out a couple more times and then, about two weeks ago he came into a room i was in with his friends studying. if he plans a date with you a few days in advance to go see a movie or get something to eat, he wants to date you. i know this is my 3rd maybe 4th post but i am not getting anywhere, so anybody reading this please respond and susan if you do read all my posts as i said before i’d love to hear your straight up thoughts.  a part of me feels like he genuinely wants this to work, but something else makes me feel like he might not be as interested as i am. if i could bring myself to date a guy, i would definitely pick him in a heartbeat. seems to be quite some deranged behavior of others in his hinterland that perturbs me. that’s my fear because i don’t want to be the girl before the girl the guy marries.  since my first relationship went horribly wrong due to rushing, i am more than okay with taking my time. when we finally got together things were awesome, but i got drunk and yelled at him and i dont remember what i said and he wont tell me what i said but he was freaked out and stopped calling me the usual nick names etc but we still had sex after that episode i guess i did in an attempt to get closer to him, but he never wanted to be with me in public after that, his excuse was every one thinks we are dating already and i dont want a commitment (he had a bad break up). that night he finally kissed me and it just felt so wonderful. he considers us friends, nothing more, nothing less and that he wanted us on the same page. it’s wonderful how you take the time to respond to all these women by delivering practical yet caring advice. i just said no and asked why he ignored me.’ve been trying to let this go and i found your website and decided to just get it out one time in hopes of finally having some clarity! he always kisses me hello and gives me a kiss and a hug when i leave. at any time either of you could meet someone you like more. on the way there he tells me tonight is the night of his date we had fought over and that he tried to move it to the day time but the girl said it wouldn’t work for her. started to go out together; i started to like/notice him around mid december due to some heart-quality he showed to me and i was deeply moved by that way of being. he cared about whether i was having a good time or not (whereas before it just was so long as he was happy, hah) and for the first time he stayed all night and slept beside me all cuddly. i got to see him crying at work, it made me so sad. hope he gets the proper help and a sincere look within himself)i am learning that there is some ….-he’ll slip sometimes and refer to me as his girlfriend. when it didnt work out he told me he’d like to “hang out” again, when the next weekend comes around. he was there for me when th eguy i was seeing cheated and drove to my uni to see me and just talk all night. he kisses me in front of friends, h loves meeting my mom, wants to meet my dad, etc. you give me an example of what should i say? after that i will close comments and give instructions for contacting me. statement that you're not even sure he knows what he wants is a telling one – it sounds like he does have mixed feelings. this guy doesn’t talk to me all day long like we used to and i just feel like he doesn’t go out of his way for me ever.(there are always popping up and being waved … i just did not want to acknowledge them/ see them)i am learning to trust that the actions of people, especially men here it seems, will speak louder than any fluff-chats and fluff guys will reveal themselves without fail based on their actions., should i ask him next time i see him in person or is it ok if i just ask him over the phone? so, we have been dating since mid november (but keep in mind that thanksgiving break and a month apart during winter break are included) we texted all over january winter break, like he was super sweet and cute and really made an effort, calling me on the phone as well. he is home every 5-10 days for a day, then back out. he would sometimes refer to me as his gf and try to kiss me and hug me.. there’s something unfortunate (and perhaps unfair) that the person who feels more gets blamed. do you think something has shifted or am i being paranoid! susan, i hope you can shed some light on a situation i thought i had with a guy! recently, we have been spending quite a lot of time together, at least 3-4 times a week.: kara is, but later i think, my other two roomies are not. he has severe problems expressing his emotions about his “feelings” for me whatever they may be…he gives me glimpses of his caring side and i truly adore and enjoy spending time with him but i’m very confused.,i’ve “hooked up” (no sex) with this one guy two different times within the past four months. we spend every weekend together, sometimes he’ll get off work (his work is midway between his home and mine) and spend a night over during the week. but this really helped me know where i stand and if the girl i am talking with right now is taking me seriously. is this a communication issue, or does this indicate a noncommitment from one or both of us?.go to dinners (he always paid for me) going out for ice cream renting movies going to see movies going out together on the weekends whether it was w/ my friends or his…things were perfect with us. to me, it seemed like he cared a great deal about me.,i’m puzzled by how things are going with this guy and need some advice. then another night at the bar we danced and ended up making out on the dance floor, he took me back to his dorm and we just made out for awhile, talked and watched a movie and then he walked me home later that night. i was alarmed (i had no intention of falling for him, both of us had just gotten out of horrible relationships and, as far as i had thought, both of us were looking for an optimal friends-with-benefits situation to supplement our intense university lifestyle) and i so insisted that we have the “talk” when i return. my friend encouraged me to email him just making simple conversation and he responded back pretty much telling me he noticed me and wanted to hang out. when i asked him if we were on the same page he said he likes me alot and not to worry about anything. i am a 20 year old female who started to hook up with a guy lets call him “john”., i’d like some advice or at least feelings about this relationship or whatever it is i have…i met up with this guy in first year of college, this was about 6 years ago. thank you for your help 🙂oh and i forgot to say, concerning the ‘hooking up’, it wasn’t just a physical thing. did talk about been exclusive with each other, he told me he wasn’t seeing or talking to anyone else and that yes we are exclusive. i’m so confused but really feel that there is something there between us.. i really don’t know what to do because he didn’t give any warning, and i think it was my outburst that caused this. he plans for us both three months ahead, cooks for me all the time, tells me things he never told to anyone before, is eager to cover all the bills up and prioritizes me in bed always, suggested to meet my child. i was gentlemanly at the time and said i understood and recieved a very passionate kiss outside her dorm but was left out in the cold with a major boner., i’m still distrustful of guys (after my ex) and don’t know if i’m capable of being in a relationship. one night we just cuddled and i thought maybe this is going somewhere. and after 2 days, he texted me again last night and was flirting a little bit and i made it clear to him that i “used to” like his dirty talk and he got the point when he said ” well, i don’t think you do now that’s why i said ‘used to’. my heart dropped and i guess i realized then that we probably wouldn’t be getting in a relationship because i figured it would be impossible to do when separated like that. he spent a few nights at my place (no sex, just spooning in bed until we fell asleep). the friendship aspect is still there, he remembers little things i say to him and asks my opinion on things that are important to him. then he said he wanted to just sleep with me and that if i just wanted to sleep with him.’ve spent a lot of time on this guy, and i encourage you to stop right now and realize nothng will ever come of it. also the whole time i have known this guy his friends always call him a man whore which concerns me a lot, but at the same time this summer i spent a lot of time with him to the point where i would have noticed if he was with lots of girls. after our last exchange there was a moment where he asked me to fo something and i joked about getting a prize and he said anything. i just let it go and finally he emailed me to see how i was doing and noticed some changes i’ve made (just school direction and such) and was writing to me like nothing bad happened in the past. i’ve been told that he does but he is ‘afraid of commitment’ or something, i understand he was traveling before and have always been understanding of that and that could be a reason why he was the way he was, and i’ve heard that if a guy isn’t financially/emotionally ready, he’ll push any girl away, even if he really cares, and who knows maybe he’ll come back when he’s ready. is this guy confused, screwed up, not into me, the two times he brings up the conversation about us he trys to see whats happening and if all is ok etc but we just go round in circles. i realize that im sending him very mixed signals too but its bc im s cared he doesnt feel the same way. he didn’t know i was coming over and seemed a bit caught off-guard. one time he said we shoule get married he said he was kind of serious. very, very few men under 25 are looking to get serious, and the fact that this guy is newly single after a long period means that he is likely to want a lot of sexual variety. he said that he was more of an asshole than he used to be, but that it didnt mean he didnt care. most guys just hook up and move on or i guess the term ‘hit it and quit it’. so, about that time as the gods would have it… i got a call from a really good guy that i have known for the better part of a decade and we had drinks (no hookup! i wanted to be like a man and sow my wild oats if you will., there is something very strange about a guy who does not like sex. truth is that in this smp many guys are not interested in a long night of cuddling with some groping thrown in., i love this freedom of not having my center of gravity evolve around the action or non-action of a man. know this forum is intended for girls, but i feel that you could probably help shed some light on my situation. however, many men don’t attach any importance to these behaviors. if there’s no real possibility of a future, and he is deciding to keep it casual for that reason, then falling for him is a bad idea. i thought we should probably get onto the same page about this. after my friend left, he has gone back to how he was before the friend visit.: haha well if u can find the time stop by borrego 2nd, im the only one herethis is when i get annoyed. he said that when he finds out if a sex buddy is falling for him that he cuts the sex off and concentrates on being friends. months ago i was told by a man who also works there and who has been friendly, kind and very helpful to me whenever i had asked for help, that he actually has been very attracted to me ever since he met me. so the whole relationship was kinda not there, it was a mutual break up, even though i was really sad about it, and really liked him by that time. j/k, just send some xxx’s my way; those can stay up here a lot longer than your fingers, haha! i still haven’t met his family or friends and he hasn’t ask me to be his girlfriend., keeps rushing into my life as soon as he feels that i am settling back into my world with my husband. he acts like one most of the time, but he never verbalized his intentions. couldn’t explain it but just something about him somehow got me attracted to him. we are both in our thirties, we met online, the first time we met in person something clicked just right and literally sparked: a short mid afternoon date ended up lasting for almost 6 h during which we did not stop looking at each other eyes, smiled stupidly, and talked about tons of deep things, discovering we actually share even the most rare of habits, tastes and thoughts., do you think it would be forward or presumptuous of me to send him a little text to let him know he’s on my mind or hope you’re having a good weekend, etc? and i just felt like it's not that he didn't want a girlfriend, he just didn't want me as his girlfriend and it's just so hard to wrap your head around something like that.! its a great feeling to know that are people out there that take the time to help women like us, who are confuse and maybe need to boost our confidence. he asked me to go to a concert with him next week that's out of state, said that i should come and there's room in his car for me. he flirted and acted nicely every time he saw me. but i can’t continue feeling so insecure, and withholding my feelings. if he still says he doesn’t want anything serious, and says to let him know if you decide you want to stop, then he is clearly signalling that he has no intention of making a commitment. i just know that i need to break away from both men. we've been friends for about a year and just started hooking up a few months ago, it's not awkward at all and i'm incredibly comfortable with him which is a rare thing for me. over a year has gone by and he finally sends me an email, but he didn’t say anything, just sent me a link he wanted me to see about his experiences there. saw him a few days after that and we hooked up again. we’ve had sex three times and i have a hard time reading his personailty. the routine usually went like this: come over for dinner, cook, watch a movie, go to “sleep”, cuddle a ton, actually sleep, wake up together, cook breakfast together (the whole time he would always touch me and be affectionate while we were cooking together and give me kisses etc). is he just using her while he flirts with someone else? he took me out to dinner for the first time. he was living at home so i wasn’t able to see him until he told me he was going to be in town and wanted to see me so we set a date and made plans to see eachother. so my question is does he care about me or is it all just a game? he has told me that he finds me to be very provocative and he’s used the word cute. i’ve been told that he does but he is ‘afraid of commitment’ or something, i understand he was traveling before and have always been understanding of that and that could be a reason why he was the way he was, and i’ve heard that if a guy isn’t financially/emotionally ready, he’ll push any girl away, even if he really cares, and who knows maybe he’ll come back when he’s ready. and i know how much it seems like he just came to me because he knew i'd say yes, and i feel like shit about that. susan,i met a guy at a party a few weeks ago, and recently we’ve been chatting online. i’m not worried about the age difference at all, but a guy that age is unlikely to want a serious commitment, especially if it involves the lives of three children.  he texted me ahead of time to let me know he wouldn’t be able to make it because one of his guy friends was giving him a car ride home. has just come out of a year and half relationship as well that was heading towards marriage but he cheated on her (not with me) by accident and she broke it off and it left him incredibly wounded. it was quite romantic, he had a fire waiting for me (which he knows i love). it's kind of hard for me to accept, though, because of the way he treats me when we're together. next day he tells me about a girl he’s arranged a date with. but the catch is, my ex boyfriend was abusive and i wanted out. yes, he might do so at some future point, but there’s no guarantee it won’t be because of someone else!’m going to be frank, it sounds like you guys are just placeholding for each other until one or both of you find someone else to really connect with. second time we hooked up we woke up the next day at 7am and just cuddled and kissed in bed until 3pm, talking about everything. i am rather confused about the whole thing since i have the feeling he desires me sexually only. however, being a female, it is almost impossible to have sex without feeling something and getting attached in one way or another. he approached me, made small talk, asked for my number and proceeded to ask me out the same night. he has told me of that’s all he wanted he wouldn’t have stuck around for awhole year. we went star-gazing again and he kissed me and held my hand & wanted to know about my past relationships and stuff. language, and many so called 'dating rituals' here are to me most peculiar, to say it kindly. the circumstances, im hoping he’d decided what he wants and weighed out the options before even trying to get involved with me again. like there’s no one in the room but me, and after the party is over we usually, shamefully i’ll say it, end up sleeping together. an acquaintance from 3 years ago messaged me on facebook asking how i am, how’s my boy, to which i replied, we broke up and then he joked, so that means i can take you out right?: yeah, im in my friends room haha, leaving soon, come in 10ish min? have quietly hinted that im seeing other guys in addition to him (lately not so much) and hes loudly indicated that im the only girl in his life (by joking that im ‘enough’ to deal with) – i am aware that his best friend knows about ‘us’ (the first time i met him he winked at my guy) some other points of interest: he has slept over almost every single time, and prefers it when i sleep over when i go to his place. he brought all the food and even brought me flowers. do you think i should ask him why he wants me to move up there? but as soon as we came back, he texted me and asked me to go star-gazing. talk basically every day and i went out with him and every time i would see him talking to one of his friends (girl) i would walk up and he would instantly hug me and kiss me in front of everyone and say, “this is my ‘bestest’ friend”. sure, you can say “he knows it’s just sex and nothing more,” but you should be able to understand that once someone’s emotions start rolling the rational mind can’t make it stop. i became so confused but still didn’t do anything or talk to him about things (i am very passive when it comes to relationships)i don’t know.

    Is It Just a Hookup Quiz

    i talked to him two or three times and he was still keeping up with his celibacy. you don't have to say, i'm crazy about you, head over heels, but you do need to say, "hey, i want to know what you're thinking/feeling about this, because it's been on my mind. although, once after a fight he said that it hurts, cause probably he has feelings for me. i should mention that i am a woman and my lover /fwb is a friend as well as coworker. when i post on facebook he comments things that imply that he think am attractive.  he thinks about me everyday and really misses me when we dont get the chance to catch up but its ok cos when we do its so much better. the first night my friend came, he wanted me to bring him something he had left at my house as an excuse for a quickie. don’t try to be his friend – that just means more sex when he finds it convenient. but alas i am falling for him, i am so confused about him though.” you’re having sex, you certainly have every right to understand what it means to each of you. there is no way for you to salvage this – so resign yourself to the outcome with dignity. about two nights later i hung out with her and she ended up taking me back to her place where we made out for a good while during the week i text with her most days joking and flirting, but find myself initiating almost all of the conversations. he said he cares for me, loves spending time with me and once he kisses and embraces me, he does feel things but just not the “marry me” things. after hanging out for a bit my friends decided to leave, since they thought we wanted to be alone. we cuddled and watched movies if i came over at night. we talked online after that and he made last minute plans to come hang out at mine but they fell through. the following monday he was distant and not talking to me. what i am confused about is that i know he really liked me up until that one night. i feel trapped in the middle of this emotional storm, and many times just crawl into bed feeling so defeated. my husband was secretly hooking up with his x-sister in-law,  for moral support he says, but it was more of a bash me fest. something happens where we didn’t hook up as much hug each other and all that. he treats me like his gf sometimes, calls me hunnie, kisses me all the time and one time i was joking that we should have a threesome with this guy( haha it was a joke! then next day, he sent me a message saying he fell a sleep and “thank you for the lovely evening, night and morning, i had really nice time. i don’t really have any doubts that he is interested in me, and likes me, but i want to know how to realize if he is in it for sex, or for more. and when he first saw me since my day of hire he gave me a really weird look. he’s even looking for some extra jobs now (i hope i didn’t get him all bankrupt) and wants to take me to a place i promised my granddad i’ll visit (far far, expensive expensive)… he wants to get a bigger flat as well for some reason. i said i would be willing to do that if it was the one (i don’t like my area anyway! well, every time i would tell him i’m talking to a guy he would say ” don’t date him” or always say something like oh he’s too old. in fact, he wanted me back over tonight after he went to the movies. you’ve identified yourself as someone who would cheat, and he is someone who will jump at the chance to hook up with someone else’s gf. the things that got me worried were that we talked a lot about sex (he said that it showed attraction); and we did not hang out as much recently ( he said that because he always had to close in the weekend at 10:30 and when we did, there was not much to do), and that he wasn’t attentive enough since sometimes he didn’t text me for 2 days ( and he said that he was too busy with everything going on. that night he finally kissed me and it just felt so wonderful. he asked if i was taking classes and said maybe he’ll see me around campus. i just got dumped by my ex 3 weeks ago and the attention was nice. i care about him immensely, and i dont want to hurt him.’s a bit of a loner, and does not enjoy going out much, so much of our time is spent @his place dancing, listening to music, and having profound deep conversations, and yes followed by passionate sex (with an equally profound level of intimacy). the first couple of times that i have been over we would just make out. he clearly enjoys your company and likes spending time with you, his referring to you as “bestest friend” is a red flag. i realized then that i don’t want to be that girl who gives years to a guy who decides late that she isn’t the right girl for him and leaves her and finds someone else. he wanted to sleep with me, but it was the wrong time of the month, but he said he was okay with just kissing and cuddling. he has a 9 year-old daughter (who i believe is special needs, though he’s never actually told me this…i’ve seen the pictures in his home). that night when i got home i added the guy on facebook by accident because my friend was in the front of his default picture. said he wants a designated person to hook up with because i was upfront and said that i am not sleeping with multiple people at once…and wanted the same respect. it sounds like you have changed your mind a few times, so perhaps that’s not surprising. he holds me and sleeps next to me when we have sex he wants me to get off at least 2-3 times before he even wants to have sex as in oral sex and then spends more time focused on me again not complaining just curious as to what it could mean. we again hooked up but we still talked for hours still trying to ask me questions and figure me out. the whole summer i was mostly thinking about him and skeptical about all the times we was in school and looked on random sights about signs of him liking me and they seem to match. a horrible breakup with my boyfriend, i met a guy at a party a few weeks afterwards. susan,here is my situation…………i`ve met a guy on a dating website,he lives in another country but that its not a problem for our casual relationship because he always comes to where i am for business,twice a month. you need to know asap so that you can keep your level of involvement equal to his. he still wanted to talked to me but i needed time and after a few days, i initiated the conversation to let him know that i got over it and that we could talk. you describe sounds like a full-blown relationship to me, not fwb. i’m looking for something fun and light which could potentially turn into an ltr and eventually marriage. he gave me a rather vague and useless answer which i cant even remember. i know he likes me, but i am not sure if there is any potential of him developing greater feelings towards me. that most definitely adds a complication – guys are extremely susceptible to feeling like failures with any kind of sexual dysfunction. we both go to the same university, are from the same state and hometown and have several mutual friends.  anyway during the conversation he said he thought it best to keep it as it was cos he didnt want to start feeling jealous if i was having dinner with a guy etc…… (does this mean that deep down he was jealous about my business dinner with a guy), he also said the only time things would go wrong is if i developed feelings for him and he got with another girl, i turned the tables and said what if he fell in love with me and that he’d then end up hating me if i didn’t feel the same. you susan, i don’t know why but your reply made me feel better. if he is settled down with his girlfriend why does he care about saying hello to me and passing hello messages on to his sister 3 years later? his statement that he tries to slow down his feelings for you by not seeing you tells me that he does not want a committed relationship. he told me he had a crush from beginning he met me (7 years ago) and he was in touch with me but he never told me before. last night he came over to my place and the same thing happened, but we ended up hooking up. but if you made a graph of the times he initiated, would the line be declining sharply?. its now been almost 2 months… should i ask him, if he likes me just as a friend or something more? about 6 months ago i started talking with a guy at work who’s 1 year older than me.)but what even feels better than that is the sense finally being able to trust my choices with men. but ultimately, i’m not sure what to do because i want something legitimate that i can feel confident about. because i want to be his girlfriend, but he said he needed time to make the decision himself without me forcing him into it. later that i asked my friend what was said and he told me that he changed the subject just the way he did when he talked about me before. not saying this is my situation but i’m hearing this a lot and everyone seems to believe it’s true. so either he feels that way, which would be okay i’d guess cuz it sounds like you feel the same, or else he’s trying to tell you he loves you but is using the word heaps to protect himself. i get texts almost everyday (or every other) about how my day went, and other random stuff…. a sophomore in highschool and i recently moved to a very small town during first semester.)i guess it’s unfair to accuse you of this, but there’s a meme floating around young women who have seen too many rom-coms that the man’s attraction is static, and she can dither, flake, even date other guys, and expect that when she’s finally ready for him, he’ll still be there ready to pursue again until she feels like saying yes. so, that we should just stop hooking up and be friends. and he gave me that heavy flirting, that interest, and now, more formal. i feel confused because he does (planning to spend extended periods of time with me outside of work) and says things that seem to contradict his “fun only” statement. moving along here, a, started to keep his distance from me after things got really difficult for me, and during a few life challenges. i have feelings for him, but i’m having a hard time reading him and i think it’s too early to drop the bomb on him, so to speak, and tell him how i feel.” and i responded stupidly because i guess i didn’t understand what he was saying so i responded with the city that i met up with him and he said the city and connected it with a country that had the same city that we were in. if i may, i perhaps even post an up-date in the future if there are further developments. men who are emotionally invested cannot bear the thought of their woman having sex with another man. i realized that day that i’ve never met anyone just so similar to me. and i personally knew things were getting real with my boyfriend and i when i felt comfortable calling him rather than always sending texts.… he hoped i realized he didn’t want a relationship i meant*. i finally asked him when he was leaving the country and he told me next week he was going and it crushed me.) he mentioned it again before he left, and was still being very sweet and kissed me goodnight., defense, it has been one hell of a ride, but he stands challenged by judgemental society and his father’s opposition to it all, our administration counts on me to overcome this phase in my life, and wants me to stabalize, and a. if he starts acting attached and you don’t like it, set some limits. i liked him enough that i would have worked with it & keep trying with him, but after that we never talked about it and he wanted to stop hooking up- i got the impression he was discouraged. i first met him i asked him what he was looking for, he said: “im looking for a potential relationship but i want to start as friends first to make sure we get along”.,he told me that he cant seeing anyone else so i shouldnt either because he doesnt want to have std`s which was a lame excuse,i mean come on,there are condoms,so its obviously am seeing this like a relationship or am being paranoid with everything?  he proceeded to apologise and ask if i could forgive him, i replied that i would but that i was not sure i could mea meaningless f*** anymore as i had developed some feelings and thought we should end it before i got hurt. susan,was wondering if perhaps you could help straighten out my thoughts. he has told me that he isn’t ready for a relationship. i told him if it counted or anything i had spent all day thinking of ways to bond with his daughter and he told me that that meant alot. it has turned into something more passionate and intimate where he actually cares for my wants/needs. he said he likes me, lvoes spending time with me, etc etc, but a relationship would not be wise as our future is so uncertain (i may have to leave the country in a few months for school and he is also not sure where he will be). he was a complete sweetheart and as he was going he talked about some stuff we could do together and i asked if that lune always worked for him, and he laughed, said he was serious but wasn’t looking fir “a girlfriend or wife or anything). it’s only been 2 weeks of texting and talking on the phone and 2 hook ups, then yesterday he called asking if it was okay that we put off the sex for now, so we wouldn’t get sick of it and so that he could put more respect into it and just hang out. evidence for (1): you’re quite defensive about jesus’ assessment that you’re just boning. just little things like that really express how much he cares about me. the night i broke up with my ex (which had nothing to do with the friend i swear! susani was in an relationship which was not working i meet another guy online talked for about a week or two before meet seem to get along ok was alot of physical chemistry between us and could make me lauth seemed nice meet a few times ended up having sex with him he know i had boyfriend explained situation to him that we was pretty much over for years and that we was like friends and that i was going to end it though meet up about 5 times before i managed to end with bf seemed still to get along ok but most times we meet up ended up having sex would go for odd walks,watch tv, kiss after sex etc talk abit seemed to be going ok still was asking if i dumped my bf yet and when said no i want to but it very hard to said i was a big chickens though i had ask him to meet up most of times and only talked to him on msn and if i would txt him he mostly txted me back. the fwb code reframes that person as “in the wrong” for breaking the agreement, but it’s an agreement that can’t be legislated so to speak. he is an upper classmen and has been heartbroken by a girl that he was with for a few years so i dont know if he likes me or if he is trying to play me. this guy gives me crazy mixed signals and it is hard for me to tell whether he likes me as more than just a friend. it means that every day or other day he’s sending a note. if both of you were ready for a relationship, had sex early and went on to spend time together, as you have, a relationship is just as likely to succeed as if you had waited longer to have sex. i think im going to need a shot before i do that hahathank you sooooo much for taking the time to read and respond to my messages! some of his friends were casually talking and they included me in their conversation right away. now we are done with college both hanging out, still flirting, and eventually lots of sexual tension lead to a really hot hookup (w/ sex). he tells me he doesn’t know where we’ll go but until then, he just isn’t ready right now to ask me out. don’t know why he wouldn’t just leave me alone instead of dragging everything up. we haven’t really gone on many dates, but we hook up and sleep together on the regular now. he started to pay me more attention starting where he had left off while in school. i said i was cool with it but that i did really like him and think that it would be nice if we spent time together getting to know each other but that would happen the longer what we are doing continues as its inevitable, he said he felt bad about what was happening and just wanted to make sure i was ok about it. don’t really know because he never told me about her. talked alot about relationships in general, things that make them go wrong, our own past realtionships and why they went wrong etc and i feel that he is somehow feeling me out, seeing what i think about relationships, men, sex, commitment, longterm relationship changes etc, its like an interview or initaition as to whether or not i am suitable for the 100m sprint or the marathon. i asked why he called me out of everyone else and he said because he wanted to see me. he has never said if he likes me or not and i cant figure it out. it was fine for me as i just came out of a long relationship and wanted something without complications. the other night, i picked up a pizza and went to his place to get some studying done- which did happen, but again, one thing led to another. also mentioned to me that he can’t tolerate cheaters because both wives cheated on him and he caught them in the act., i don’t really understand it either, so i’m trying to safeguard myself and let it go.” i want him to bring it up to me first.’m 32 years old, attractive, and pretty much balanced and complete in my life and with myself… i am aware of who i am (flaws and strengths) and where i’m headed in the future. i’m from another country, came from different culture and inexperienced. basically he told me he doesn’t want to hurt me, and that if he is… i should walk away. am i fooling myself and walk away from this situation? he has told me that no other girl has come over to his place and he’s not the type to lie (there was a toothbrush at his place and i said i didn’t know who has used it). he called and told me to meet back at his house for my birthday dinner. i realized that he was with another girl he met there who was from a different country. he still tried to hang out with me again and trying to figure out a day. and i said a little joke that would let him know that i was a dang good friend and he better feel lucky to have me as one! i obliged, and told him i went back to my long term ex bc i changed my mind about relationships and would rather be in one. i have no doubts that he likes me he is always telling me that am pretty, attractive. so i let it go and we really didn’t talk much but he still stared at me all the time.: guess this just means we need to see each other more often 🙂. but he stayed with me every night for a week and we hooked up a couple times but not every night. he’s probably just trying to get in there one more time, after which he’ll dump you again. last night he almost didnt meet up with me to get food and when i commented that he seemed like he was still annoyed with me (from a tiff we got on on wednesday) he was like no i am just fine with being friends or soemthing like that…i do the same thing to him because i told him when i was hooking up with this other guy a month ago before him and i started having sex again…since we have been hooking up again i havent talked to the other guy at all. met this guy in around january at an exhibition when he came with a friend of mine and as soon as i saw him i was attracted to him, and the more, as i talked to him. i was afraid he wouldnt want to talk to me. i guess my question really is, just because he’s not ready for any sort of commitment now does that mean he won’t be in time? then for the rest of the week he acted distant, not answering calls or texts, not wanting me to come over. we have talked a few times and texted maybe once or twice…i don’t know if this guy likes me or what! he’s been mostly concerned about me and how i am doing and what i’m doing. so i told him if he ever needed to talk, to give me a call or text me and i’m an open ear. than, there was zero communication bc i didnt want to initiate again bc it seemed he didnt want to talk to me. we are still hanging out every weekend, i went to his place, i even met some of his friends when we went to a concert but still no kissing, holding hands, no sex, any of that.: not sure where kara is, but my other two roomates are at my friends house, i had to skype home bc of family stuff, now just relaxing 🙂. we started hanging out a lot this summer and he seemed as if he liked me. he said that he meant nothing by the texts, and he was just trying to assess whether i was into him based on my replies, and was doing this to avoid hurting me. he very clearly tried to figure out how close i still was with my ex, and if i was with another one of our mutual friends. it’s something you’ll just have to wait out, that’s the price of freedom, the same freedom that gives us the chance to choose our own partners. he asked for my number after having a little talk. well i was out of town and traveling and when i got back saw him again and he wasn’t even working with me but came out to chat while i was passing through. when i walked into one of my classes i glanced around and noticed several guys and a few of the girls that i would spend the rest of the year with. kind of talked off and on since then because we were both busy with end of school/finals and such and somehow we got to talking and agreed we would take it a step further and hook up.” i could feel the tension rising and his nervousness so i put my hand on his chest, stroked his forehead and told him not to worry about it, that he didn’t have to think about it at that exact moment and just to relax. i broke up with my bf 3 weeks ago n this guy and i hung out and had a great time and slept together again. sometimes it's difficult to see all the sings that a guy is in love with you.

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“Does He Like Me” Quiz (Really Works!)

he’ll kiss my forehead, carress my hair, hold my hand, kiss me, etc… and there’s the sexual parts too… but anyway, we’ve been real close since that very first day he called me. we ended up just hanging out like the first time and it felt the same. met this guy at school and he insisted getting to know me at first. it would be a grave mistake to put your needs on the back burner while trying to meet his. did asked him one time if he was shy when it came to making the first move and he said yes. he volunteered to ride in my car a day early to hang out with me and a couple girls he barely knows. he also invited me to hang out sober and asked me about my new job. women do the same with who they’d sleep with. if he wants to stay uncommitted, he owes it to you to tell you if he gets with some other woman. i told him to tell me the truth, even if it hurts, and it took him awhile to respond back, i’m guessing either he put it to the side because i blew it and he didn’t care or because he was trying to figure out what to say. i remember most of the conversation we had but there are parts that i don’t and that’s what’s killing me. another such example was last night when i left my facebook on his computer and he took my account, and commented on some girl’s insomnia-related status that “thank god i had *** to help me sleep, he is such a nice guy – you need to text me about this :p” … i’m not even sure how to react to that, he said it was just a joke but honestly, it seems he wants everyone to know that we are “together”.. he doesnt want to be with in public but pretty much every one knows we are hooking up and our friends know about each other as well. i mustered up the strength and asked him if we could progress and become official today and he said. so i say i’m housesitting and could use some company, and he says he’d love to and maybe keep me company all weekend. eventually he confessed he had feelings for me and i said that i didn’t feel the same, but didn’t want things to stop. but the big question is does this mean he will never want a commitment with me? we also have the most amazing sex i’ve ever had in my life…. he’s giving me mixed signals and i can’t desifer them. also he randomly texts me tue day after he broke his arm to hang out and have dinner. in fact, i think it’s very odd when people get really close and are spending a lot of time together and don’t talk about what they’re doing, or try to define it in some way. i was worried he would stop hanging out with me when i gave him that answer … but if anything, he has been more caring and thoughtful since that happened. we have become incredibly close, he’s introduced me to his best friends and i have introduced him to my best friends (my roomates, and he has become extremely close to them in particular), we spend most of our time around each other, preferring to study with each other and hang out with each other. i also don’t want to be the one to ask, because there have been a couple times we discussed it (briefly) via text messaging, and he indicated that he “definitely likes sex with me, but also really enjoys hanging out with me. we had sex again and again there was more of a connection than the times last year. the whole recurrent hooking up fizzled out after the bad sex. really dont know how to approach this i know hes said some things before and came crawling back to me but i dont want to be used for just sex. i don’t know how much hurt i can keep taking from him in hopes that we’ll be something more in the future. when he was asked if he liked me he juss brushed it off and tried to change the subject. i have always known men to do what they say.. and then we hung out for a the rest of the night and i slept over with him (no sex, but we hooked up) (i had gotten locked out of my dorm and he said i could sleep with him). often say that they enjoy intimacy in the moment, but that it doesn’t change their desire to stay single and pursue other women. bring it up next time you see him, and say that you don’t want to be demanding or a nag but you’d like to talk to him on the phone (make it sound like something you’d enjoy rather than a demand on his time). some say he’s not “good-looking enough to be”, but he is charming and i find him adorable. but at the same time, i have this feeling like he checks up on me too via my blog and social network site. suggests or helps you find someone else to do it. he always asks me question after question after question about me, almost like i don’t even get a chance to answer his questions because he keeps asking more! i feel like i’m over thinking everything and it’s driving me insane. both times we’ve hooked up, i spent the night and he wrapped his arm around me all night and throughout the morning. i have difficulties to fully trust and show my emotions without holding back, because i am affraid to get hurt. he even admitted like he felt he loved me (in which i rationally just thought was cute, but didn’t buy cuz it was too soon). normal everyday conversation consists of me sharing while he says nothing.“then on thanksgiving, he didnt call me but texted me that night saying “hey sorry i didnt call u, im not feeling well, will try to call u tomorrow but i cant make any promises” and he didnt call. yet i wonder if he does this to every girl he hooks up with. i think about him all the time and miss him like crazy. i remember i was holding onto him and i didn’t want to leave. forward to this past summer and he randomly texts me to say he misses me and remembers hoe awesome our first night was together. now his brother was explaining to me how anthony (the new guy) is always so quick to fall in love etc…. after that, we still texted often; maybe i was paranoid but i got mad if he didn’t not text me everyday.” i said i guess i would and he said well, you never know you might find a man, fall in love, get married, and move to somewhere like ______”. i used to hook up with a guy that i had gotten to know a bit as friends first. i think i’m not fully committing a crush here because he is a commitment phobe and always pulls back from me when we have deeper convos – he did this even when we were just friends. he is always texting me, he tells me that he misses me through out the day, has a nickname for me, he comes over after he is done with work, picks me up from work sometimes, has introduced me to his daughter and close friends which he considers family. i had not been drinking and decided to make my way upstairs to the bedroom of one of the guys.“so i guess my question really is, just because he’s not ready for any sort of commitment now does that mean he won’t be in time? he introduced me to his best friend and the three of us hungout for a bit. but over time he became more and more attractive to me. i know you’ll miss the attention, it’s flattering, but as long as you are attracted to him and in touch, you’re making yourself emotionally unavailable to some guy who is single! curious and feel the same way as he does, but he doesn’t seem to care. i can honestly see he genuinely cares deeply about me. talked to him yesterday (monday), he told he wanted to see me and that he would call me, he knows that today and tomorrow i was off but i didn’t heard a from him today 🙁 do you think he lost interest or he is just busy…? we live very close to eachother within an artist community and have mutual friends so came across at another event just near where i live (with other people), that evening he was with me all the time, asking lots of questions, we went to my place, he met my friends, then went out again, and then came back towards morning, after a very long chat, we had sex, he was very much affectionate, hugged and kissed me all the time, we had breakfast, a few hours later, met at a park nearby with also other friends, he was looking at my eyes constantly, i was thinking i was in a dream or something, which is unfortunately the case i guess. we exchaned a couple of text messages over the weekend and everything seemed to be fine. he has hooked up with a few girls before he met me here. although we didn’t have sex, i felt terrible for my actions and broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years saying i needed a “break”. but come the end of the night she said she just wanted to sleep in her own bed tonight. it sounds like he has never fallen for anyone before, or allowed himself to become attached. went to see him with the strength to not hook up with him and i fell week and we did., despite feminization of our society, men still understand marriage as a corporate enterprise, something that needs to be constantly pruned and recapitalized, one they are expected to head up, and an enterprise upon which they will be judged as men. i would like him to love me, because love doesn’t exist and i tried everything that does…:). like him alot, i’d love to have a commited relatioship with him and see where it went, he makes me laugh, when we talk on the phone i have an amazing grin on my face, he compliments me, says i look amazing, he can’t keep his hands off me, thinks about me all the time, up until sunday, used to text call all the time. even told him no more hooking up and tried dating someone else.  i would like to try and talk to him over the weekend to find out how he really feels but not sure how to do this or even if any of this means more than just fb. i said i didn’t want to hear his copouts with me because he is a good guy. the two of you should spend plenty of time doing other things before you try for sexual intercourse. i took this that he was testing me to see if i’d respond or if i gave up on him. i told him i was fine with taking things slow and keeping things causal at first and seeing where it went from there but now it seems like it is more, he is spending hours talking to me about my life and things in my past, telling me about his life and him growing up his past sexual relationships and his “first time” i have spoken to him about mine. i originally found this article because a few of his friends have told me he’s “in love with me,” whatever that means. he got really defensive and tried assuring me to stick it out and see where it goes. in other words i haven’t met a guy that really piqued my interest until……before new year of 2012 where i was introduced by my close friends to this amazing (and hot) guy (he’s 34, a bit of an alpha i think but has been known to be in ltrs) during a party in a bar.. i’m scared, what if he rejects meeting me, or what if he said he doesn’t know what to say anymore or anything.: shutterstock he didn't try to immediately make a moveyes, there are some relationships out there that happen after sex on a first date. my question is this, should i have cut the date off early and not let her stay over on the first date? i like this guy and i just want to know if he likes me back. those are the signals that point me in the “more-than-friends thinking” direction.– cuddles post-sex and stays the night as well as in the morning – leaving w/ me at the same time. long story short we had a conversation and he said something that i took the wrong way and pretty much thought he wasn’t interested in me at all. he exihibits all the signs in the article, he seems interested in my life and even confides in me about his. he shows some of the above signs but im still in the dark., though, you’re facing the same problem so many young people face when they hit it off: an expiration date. well later on that night he was texting me to tell me lets do something on sunday i said ok. to me like you are in the awkward and unpredictable stage of figuring out whether and how you will transition from a few dates to actually dating. i know you dread it, but believe me, it is the only way forward. and he’s not supposed to care about me after about 5-6 yrs? if a reasonably attractive guy wants to be sexually stimulated, he’d be going beyond first base and he wouldn’t be using you for it, he’d find some floozy who’s begging to go [email protected],if you mind me saying something – you know, technically he didn’t “stick around for a year” bc you guys technically didnt meet up or do anything solid, it was just back and forth texting — however the fact that youve hung out all summer and the fall before hooking up in november(was it? he will again state that he is not ready for commitment. he asked me to stay over and we cuddled the rest of the night and even into the morning./susan,i find helen’s comment to encapsulate all of a typical woman’s (and a lot of men’s) thoughts about fwb at the same time., the fact that his profile is off the dating site bodes well for me. i realized that he was with another girl he met there who was from a different country. so with all of this being said here’s my problem… i did not have any intention of getting into a serious relationship having just come out of one but the heart wants what it wants and unfortunately my heart is telling me it wants him! his ex ended up dropping off his daughter that morning and so i did my best to avoid her and leave since that’s how things had been. that is a huge sacrifice to make, a commitment really, when it doesn't sound like he was ready to reciprocate. know i have exhaustively explained my situation as best as i can – what i really need is to know his possible angle, if there are any major clues i am missing out on, and more importantly how to approach this situation. my advice is to not do anything too intimate until you know where you stand. if he isn’t suffering the same way, he’s likely to just maintain the status quo. irks me were instances of when we agreed on an outing, but he did not show nor canceled nor called. basically me and my fab met in grad school when he sent me his number via facebook after we grabbed drinks as a group after orientation. i sometimes hear about stories where things are going well then all of a sudden the guy starts acting weird because feelings start getting too intense. i could talk to him about anything and he could me. and what i like that most is that he remembers everything i tell him about me. in general, if he is asking to see you and wanting to spend time together, you can assume that he likes you, especially if he is not trying for sex. i don’t ask him if he’s dating anyone else or how he spends his time (i really don’t want to know). and of course now that we are sleeping together i’m getting all “girlie” lol please help me sort this out. so i’m taking this as i must be something special.” maybe i should give this a little bit more time? may do all this hooking up and stuff, which is fine, but if they dont care about a girl, they are really making it harder on us and make us feel worse by playing with our emotions. that seems disrespectful to me, unless he’s made it clear he doesn’t mind. he was so affectionate it put me off balance, because it was intense. but after only the 2nd time we hooked up he was all cuddly and sweet and kissing me on my nose and forehead and said he liked me and even asked what my plan is for new year’s and it’s only august! some things, behaviour or words are simply not okay to do or to say.. ignoring him when he said hi to youthis isn’t like some dude you met in a bar that night. my next question is this, should i cease communication with her by respecting her decision not to return my call? at this point (about august that year) he still had not asked me out or anything. i told him to tell me the truth, even if it hurts, and it took him awhile to respond back, i’m guessing either he put it to the side because i blew it and he didn’t care or because he was trying to figure out what to say. i have seen him for the longest time, and when i look at him i mess up on the music i’m supposed to be playing (if that’s any indication of my physical attraction towards him).-i met this guy a month ago and he has become my fwb. cannot peg this situation… the smarter part of me feels that i should end this now before future hurt, but the unwise part wants to continue, because this feeling i get with him is like a high i cannot control. the thing is we made out and such, but he did not try to have sex with me., during the winter break he started flirting with me a lot and i flirted back. so i met this guy 6 yrs ago in college, wasn’t really attracted to him and didn’t really say much to him at all and then one day it just hit me. if you want to be dating “out in the world” and not in his room, what you can do is lead that kind of life regardless of whether he comes along – plays, music events, art shows, pep rallies, sports, mixers, you get the idea. i know he likes me a lot because he only dates girls he really cares about. i took this that he was testing me to see if i’d respond or if i gave up on him.. so i don’t know what to do, for me is really hard to make a move because i don’t know what he is thinking and im a little shy too. you need to know whether he feels the same way. i am going to riff on your words and what they mean to men (e. your own behavior strikes me as irresponsible and shady as well – have you thought about the effect of all of this on the daughter? he was very into kissing me, using eye contact, and making sure i was feeling good, and asking me questions. my friends and i were at a restaurant and we seen two guys that kept looking at us and smiling. you’re young at 24 but you shouldn’t even consider spending a year or two with this guy if he’s not ready for something serious.. but that didnt last long before me and guy a was back together again.: shutterstock you've met his family membersif he's introduced you to his parents and siblings, that's almost a guarantee that you're dating - especially if you've had dinner with them or something like that. he finally brought up his family to me for the first time the last time i saw him, which he has never done that before (i loves his family dearly and are very close). saw him a few days after that and we hooked up again. am perfectly happy to be slow, but that sense of standstill at times (or is it still stand? he suggested we could go ‘somewhere more private’ but i declined; i said i really wanted to be with him but i implied that i wasn’t really used to doing these things on a regular basis and i needed just a little more time. for leaving a comment, i appreciate your taking the time to visit several of my posts! i had to leave early june before the semester was over not expecting anything to come from me and guy a.-the look in his eyes when he looks at me is always so intense, as if he wants to say he loves me. but i don’t know if it’s just wishful thinking on my part. i have trouble talking about my feelings and think that maybe he does too. and what i like that most is that he remembers everything i tell him about me. but i’ve never brought him around, he’s never brought me around his circle and, while at first i wasn’t sure, now i know and consider him a companion. i would definitely not let him come visit unless you reach that agreement. making out with somebody you’ve gone on a couple of dates with and/or hung out with just the two of you is not abnormal or slutty behavior. i complained that i wasn’t looking for a relationship, just sex but every guy i tried the arrangment with ended up wanting to date. either way, being in limbo is just a huge waste of time!” i said i guess i would and he said well, you never know you might find a man, fall in love, get married, and move to somewhere like ______”. listen, i agree that you are getting super mixed messages. he contacted me everyday until we finally hung out and it was like we’ve known eachother for years. to be perfectly honest, part of my obsession with him is probably my thing for game-playing and drama; several of my friends whom i discuss with (and have only seen pictures) say “you are way to good-looking for him”, “he needs to make you his girlfriend”. i thought he’d never contact me again and i didn’t care since after he invited me to go out, i said i didn’t want a relationship.

Which Superhero Should You Hook Up With?

tell him that you want to continue to spend time together and get to know each other better.  he asked if i’d told anyone about us and i said yes a couple of friends, i asked him if he has told anyone and he said, exactly  “no i don’t think its a good idea to tell my kids as they would get upset and think i don’t have time for them or that someone will take time away from them” um i never asked if he’ told his kids and wouldn’t have expected him too, i haven’t told mine about him either. i figured i should sit on my hands, tape my mouth, and [email protected] was in an relationship which was not working i meet another guy online talked for about a week or two before meet seem to get along ok was alot of physical chemistry between us and could make me lauth seemed nice meet a few times ended up having sex with him he know i had boyfriend explained situation to him that we was pretty much over for years and that we was like friends and that i was going to end iti think he’s just after sex. it’s none of their damn business and it bothers me they suggest i “owe” it to her or something.  prior to us getting together he had been chasing me for a good 6 months…. i have been in a 3 year relationship that was amazing, but then i came for an exchange program in a different country. time you have sex with a guy and then a few days pass with no word you have your answer: no relationship. he's always genuinely interested in what i have to say, what my plans are for the day, week, whatever, who i'm talking to, if any boys are pursuing me, etc. was hard for me to read considering the guy i've been pining over falls under the majority of those signs, but i still feel slightly played. he then told me that he wanted me to find someone else and i told him i didn’t want anyone else. despite all these things, i feel he is a great guy if he really cares for someone and is in love…i just don’t understand what is wrong with me since he apparently loves so many things about me yet wants nothing apart from spending time and bed. we saw each other my chance again when i was walking to office hrs and he was biking from class.  i have no doubt in my mind he cares about me so, so much.: haha night 🙂the next night he texted me asking if u wanted to hang out, i went and hung out with him and his roommates at 8:30 (his roommates are really nice and cool) and then the two of us hung out by ourselves in his room 10 till 12, talking at first, watching a movie, and then the night ended with us making out for the first time. but this recent survey found on usa today has revealed something that is surprisingly accurate. we had a few talks, always initiated by me, regarding “us. but shortly after we started spending time together, things started shifting gear.. a guy who asks for your number and asks you out the same night is displaying strong interest, unless he makes it clear it's "just friends. even after that convo, we were infatuated so quickly and so much that we met up, he took it back and apologized (this was after a couple days and a couple drinks) cause he couldnt deal with how much he liked me. you give really amazing advice and i really want your opinion on my boy situation. at times he is so sweet to me,holding my hand,kissing me,holding me,making me laugh! we often flirted thru texts and had plans of meeting up just never did because of our schedules being so different. i have two classes with him next semester, so i’ll be seeing him whether i want to or not. he would show up at the bars i was going to, come into rooms i was hanging out in at the fraternity, or appear next to me on the dance floor. don’t “hookup” (meaning casual sex), unless i know i’m in a committed, exclusive situation with the other party. anyways, we were making out for the 2nd time last night and the same thing happened., he might think you are not a girl for a "one and done" hookup. of course, i take medicine for depression and anxiety as well.. but hes so hot and cold i dont know what to do… also when i see him again in a few months we plan on doing the usual hooking up. they know about me but i think he feels awkward about my age and my children..is he just playing around, being comfortable with me until he finds someone better who comes along, or would he not mean what he said and waste as much time. he seemed then, and every other time we hung out, was that he truly wanted to get to know me. he said “you are my canvas and i want to paint a masterpiece. my girl friends often complain about guys that act like that very early on. we hooked up and then i kicked him out of my house after. the fact that your relationship is mostly just sex as opposed to spending time together outside the bedroom is another clue. so now he’s irritated because he wants me to tell him how much he means to me again like i did while we was in school. i met some members of his family and it was obvious he had talked to them about me. we weren’t building enough of an emotional connection though, after hooking up, not like we did when it was just a friendship. why don’t women ever believe it when men tell them that? he told me straight that he has feelings for me and i told him i do too thus we decided to be exclusive. for a week again no contact, a few days ago we met again at an event (i know we are a bit sociable:), he was around me constantly, lots of questions etc, then i went to his place with him and few friends who also live with him, on our way he was holding my hand, hugging me, and at some point, one of our friends cheekyly said something like, “there is something special about you, he never changes his mind for me although i’m his best mate” when we were talking about his date of next work travel, i wanted him to leave a few days later so that he can come to an event with us:). he’d offer to give me lifts and ‘rescue’ me from unwanted attention if i was out. and from what i’ve seen, guys usually are not the ones to bring this up – it’s pretty well understood that women generally want a commitment, and the guy decides. he has warned you multiple times not to get too attached to him. he then texed me that me and him have no future in bf or gf but if i would like a mess around with him then he would be fine with it. the other hand, if he is actively seeking additional women to date, you need to know that right away. and his words and his actions don't match up (ie i want to be single, but i'm going to treat you like my girlfriend). we like each other and he mentions he sees me as a friend but his actions says another. i decided that i was ready to move on and meet different people. if he does make a move, be careful that he isn’t just going for a one-time thing. (his job had a retreat for teambuilding kinda stuff on sat and sun)he never respondedtuesday we had a club fair at out school, and i was there with my business frat and to look at the other orgs. tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same way and can see it working out. i don't know if i should feel like shit because he turned to me as soon as he started having sex again, or flattered. besides, he’s a pretty reserved guy, i can never know how he feels about me. the occasional text takes 10 seconds to send and is meaningless. it’s like he can’t keep his hands off of me, and it’s so confusing. he tried to make plans for when to meet again and he’s been quite active on the phone later and asked me to prolong my stay in town to meet again. we had studied together, hung out in class together and hung out with others around the dorm after he came to my room to introduce himself.  over the next few days i got the silent treatment, eventually i text and then it all seemed to et back to normal. are both under 30, i’m dating other guys as well and i assume he sees other women. like me, i know, but should i mention any of this or wait for him to and play it by ear? i said i would be willing to do that if it was the one (i don’t like my area anyway! i find out now, from his other best friend, jake, that andrew was “in love” with me from the very beginning of our friendship. men rarely change their minds about commitment, no matter how much they like a woman. he looked over at me and smiled the cutest smile ever. i don’t know his reasons because i of course can’t read his mind, but if i’m not mistaken he drove all the way down just to see me because in that weekend he only saw the friend he drove down with, the friend who let him stay at his place, me, and his brother. we'd even gone on a few dates/hung out with friends on a few occasions during that time, and he would put his arm around me, kiss my head, and treat me like i was his. all of my friends keep trying to get to be at the same place at the same time like at parties or on the vacation that we are all planning this summer and it makes me wonder if they know something i dont. i moved away again and we kept in touch and hed ask me advice on a girl he liked and they eventually got together. she mentioned other guys that had tried to date her and she wasn’t interested and found them too pushy. every time i would call him drunk and ask his feelings he said he still liked me, but it didn’t fall back together. chemistry between us is amazing, sex is explosive, all the things you mentioned above is present.  this past friday, i made a move on him, and to my surprise, was blown away when he told me how extremely attractive it was that i was going after what i wanted. at the end of the date, he walked me to my car and i said so “i had a lot of fun, you should give me a call” he replied “i had fun too but you seem to have a busy week” and i said well how about next sunday?” over the last month of school (we’re in college) we’re hooking up and he’s exhibiting a fair number of these signs (affectionate, cares how i feel, etc. the point is, we spend so much time together, he shows me he cares in numerous ways, wants to take me out, on trips, do everythign with me, his friends and mother know of me and he alwys tries to make me happy. your words have helped me to reinforce within me this path of healthy ways of being in a relationship. my friends told me that i blew it and that was the only chance i was going to get because either he thought i responded that way because i wasn’t interested in him or because he is afraid of getting hurt. it took me 4 months of him running me down until i made up my mind to let him know i liked him. i will not judge him, but i don’t want to get my hopes up, and i didn’t know if i should have “a talk” with him about expectations so soon in. i had also asked him the same , he said that he himself didnot know that he would get so close to me. haven’t been to his apartment and he hasn’t been to mine either, we always met at a mall and go from there. the other weekend i stayed fri and sat night there after we got food together, i was in florida last wknd and he called me while i was gone sat to tell me he had a bad night and we talked for a while, we made plans to hangout this past thursday to get ice cream and watch a movie and we met up last night and ended up going back to his house where i stayed the night and we hooked up…even when we hookup it feels like way more than that bc we cuddle before and after, etc. however, we became close after that, and for two weeks straight we spent almost 24/7 with each other – classes, studying, sleep-overs, and sex. you give hints that say no, but something about your manner or body language says yes! he flirted with me and gave me his card for work purposes but as i was leaving reminded me that i had his number now in case i ever wanted to game (a discovered common interest). if the guy doesn't seem like he wants you to hang out with him and his buddies, or even meet them, that could mean it's because he only sees your fling as totally casual. this comment box is not long enough for me to explain everything that went wrong in my marriage, and everything that i put up with to make sure that our kids his and mine got off to college. been texting on and off since we both left our uni (we live far away from each other) and the conversation always moves towards whether im seeing anyone at home “so, any hot dates? do i wait it out and eventually embrace he’s just not that into me? kinda gave me an explanation as to why he didnt want to have sex. there is nothing good that can come of this “friendship. all, well i have story for anyone is interested and maybe help me out, i’ve never been in this situation before i’m 24 and the guy is 31, well we met 6 months ago, we get along great, good chemistry and we hook up here and there in the beginning we like each other. apologized for not talking and said “im sorry i just been super busy 🙁 i hope you forgive me”. don’t delay – ask him the next time you’re together. now he only just got out of a 1 and a half year relationship so i am extremely worried i may be his ‘rebound girl’. anyway, come around march, his girlfriend had cheated on him with some douche. another analogy…my tomato plant seedlings are buried under soil. if he really had respected me and had feelings for me wouldn’t that question not make sense? we were on and off the past year i know on one of our off times i had another guy(b) im pretty sure he(a) was jelous of this one(b). he recently graduated from our college but plans to stick around for the upcoming semester looking for a job and what not. we have been hooking up for about a month now. wouldn’t worry about this – the idea of “dating” as a long-term pattern of actually going on dates is almost unheard of in american colleges today. also, the last time that i saw him, i told him that i needed to leave at a certain time. i broke up with him because we were spending too much time together, ignoring our friends, never leaving the house, etc. i feel ashamed because on the second day we wnt to his house and things got a little heated up and i don’t normally do things like these, i don’t know what is happening to me. afternoon he contacted me to ask how my weekend has been, said we should definitely have dinner soon, also told me where he was with his friends and asked me what i was doing, and i said the weekend has been very busy (not a lie! we met at the campus bar back in november and we just talked and got to know each other a bit and danced, he asked for my number and immediately friended me on facebook. for the record, talking on the phone all the time is not any form of commitment or sign that he wants you for more than a f*ckbuddy. and my friend from work always watches his mannerism when i’m around other guys. he still tried to hang out with me again and trying to figure out a day. susan, one of my girlfriends left you a question over a year ago and i see your advice was well received. need to have a sense of a man being actually thrilled about being with me and shows it. we go out and hold hands, he pays for me, etc etc. what this means for you is that the demand comes first (which hasn’t happened with your man), then he goes looking for the supply. i stopped contacting him, then he wished me a happy birthday with a nice text, i invited him to my birthday dinner but didnt make it again. even bringing up stuff in the past that i told him because he remembers everything i tell him. he flirts with other girls in front of me but doesn't like it when i hang out with other guys?: yeah kinda haha, come hang out if ur not busy:). we never actually dated, probably because he is two years younger than me so i felt weird about it or something. we work with all these amazing foreign women who are so much younger than me and they flirt with him all the time, and hes naturally charming, but he always ignores it. i’ve heard of women doing a 180 when the good guy friend walked, by the way. once he went away for a few days and told me he missed me. the first time we hooked up (last week) we kissed and touched ( fully clothed).’m sure you’ve been in this situation: the dude you’ve been crushing on asks you to hang out, but instead of doing something traditional (like dinner and a movie), you sit on his couch and watch a movie off of netflix. i don’t sleep around, but it was so difficult for me to keep my hands off of him. it didn’t work out and as soon as he found out he asked if he could come see me…. i emailed him the next day apologizing and don’t know how i took it that way and asked him what he meant by “where are we? i dont know if i should let my feelings come forward or if i should cut back on our communications so that my feelings do not get involved and i dont get hurt. he wrote me asking if i remembered him and gave me his number. i dont know what to do… should i just be patient and wait for him to contact me? is not coming easy to me at all in this matter … i liked to charge ahead, to get on with it … but in that rush i have not paused enough to see them fed flags! cringed when i read this because it seems crystal clear to me that if, after 3 yrs, your only clues about how he feels relate to his sexual repertoire, then he’s only in it for the sex. months after that, i wanted to apologize to him, whether he would care or not, just wanted to get it out of my system to move on so first i wrote to him asking him how he was doing and he responded that he was doing well and all that, so i then sent an apology for what had happend before and he never responded back, so i figured either he didn’t care or i hurt him, not really sure. he pursued me alot and made his actions very strongly that he liked me and was into me and i was confused because he was still involved with her. day of the date came and he canceled on me 🙁 he said his coach said they had to do something as a team that night, but said that “we should do it in the week sometime next week”so that would be this week,,, and he has yet to mention it again.“despite all these things, i feel he is a great guy if he really cares for someone and is in love…”. can you please give me your take on it, because despite that i am tryign to convince myself that it is all nothing and stick to the initial outcomes of our conversations, i can’t help feeling confused as i think his actions often betray his words. just a couple days ago our “relationship” became more sexual … i am wondering if this is a sign that i could mean more to him, since i said before i didn’t want a sexual relationship unless it meant more to him. when we do fool around he is very attentive to my needs. we have been seeing each other for the month and he hasnt really said anything about being bf/gf and my friends keep asking me about it. i don’t want him to one day just move on to someone else. we are still talking basically every day, even when im not in town for the weekend we talk on the phone at least once or twice and text also, we are hanging out during the week we went to happy hour one week with his friends and just him and i got food after, i brought him cupcakes for his birthday the other week and just the two of us hungout, on the weekends we will meet up to get food after going out (or sometimes we will go out together it just depends) and then i usually end up staying there and we have started having sex again. he offered to make me breakfast but i declined and left early in the morning. does this mean he doesnt want the girl to think he likes me? they broke up two months later because she didn’t like his relationship with me and then cheated on him. he lived with 4 other guys and one night he got super drunk downtown and called me at like 2am for a ride. and as i said, i think this is extremely disrespectful to your ex. so the next night he invited me out for drinks with him and his broher which i also know and he was so affectionate and treated me with so much respect. us your juiciest, wildest, weirdest and embarrassingest (it’s a word) hook up stories! i feel hopeful that maybe he does feel more for me than he is letting on but feels like a relationship would distract him from his goals. he even said to me ”i like you quite alot” and he was worried that i only wanted him for sex.: just chilling out in my dorm for now haha what are you up to? upshot of this is that men don’t typically consider who they want to marry until they’ve decided they actually want a marriage itself. i like that but the hooking up is appearing to be more than that and im fine with that as well its just he told me he wanted something causal at first and to see where it went because he just got out of a very long serious relationship with a girl he loved dearly who cheated on him and then played his heart, his exact words. then, he’s texted me about twice a week with random things, asking my opinion on his hair or an outfit, or telling me he had work early like me, etc. felt like i had soo many questions and decided to send him an email basically telling him that what i wrote before wasn’t what i meant and what i meant was that i enjoyed our friendship before and i realize that i can’t do the in between because i can’t handle it and i have feelings. i want him to show me that he likes me more than just some girl who comes over and now probably has sex. fast forward 3 years later and i heard that he has settled down with a new girlfriend and about a month ago i get a message from his sister who now works where i do and she said ‘by the way my brother says hello to you! he had a lot to tell me, but i guess never an excuse to talk again so i let him vent it out. he always asks me question after question after question about me, almost like i don’t even get a chance to answer his questions because he keeps asking more! i would definitely recommend not wasting any time on it – and you should be aware of any red flags.

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that i’m back in my own city he messages me every night…. there was an instant attraction–i ended up going home w/ him that night but nothing happened we only kissed and he didnt push for anything else. he looks into my eyes, moves my hair from my face and sometimes even just strokes my hair with his hand. the past two months i’ve been hooking up with an old friend from high school. anyway just a few nights ago he got pretty drunk and i picked him up and the whole drive back to my place which was about 20 mins he’s telling me how happy he was that i was with him and he must have said “i like you alot lisa, like really alot” at least 20 times … no exaggeration! these are not “mixed signals,” he’s been very upfront about what his actions mean and do not mean. i really don’t know if he feels anything for me. long story short we had a conversation and he said something that i took the wrong way and pretty much thought he wasn’t interested in me at all. that intense chemistry came to a halt with him in bed, he genuinely couldnt perform in bed for more than 30 seconds before…. also think about whether you are capable of being anyone’s sex buddy without developing feelings – most women aren’t. when i asked him why, one of the reasons he gave me was” you are very time consuming and are enough, my meeting up with other girls would not make you happy. he asked what i was doing later, and i told him about my plans to go to a screening of a snowboarding movie with my friend and he said sincerely that he hoped i have a time and he would see me laterstill no text from him. i’m not talking about playing major mind games – i’m talking about not laying all your cards out on the table too soon. i met a guy at a bar and i noticed he was interested in me cause he kept looking my way, i kept looking his way too. freshman year of college (january 2010) i became best friends with this guy, let’s call him andrew. there are definitely signs in your description of attraction and possibly attachment on his part. he made an effort to show me around his city. as much as these words make me cringe it’s turned into making love. i was under no illusions that it was anything more than just sex which suited me fine. i told him i didn’t want him to leave and he looked back at me and said, you really don’t want me to go, do you? i think i could relax into it if i knew for sure that he likes me so with all of my peculiarities and wants to be my man. lets comments slip, and it goes a little like this: me: “hey remember that movie avatar we went to and loved? enjoying your comments/articles susana – thank you for sharing them! he is going away for a few weeks in a few days, i also heard from another mutual friend that for a long time he has actually been quite low in mood, up and down and in one of their conversations he said i want to fall in love etc. you didn’t have to make a decision about the new job, i would encourage you to spend time together, getting to know one another and taking it slow. but he still texted me or called me every day, and his friends talk to me and make an effort to get to know me and always ask me to hang out but this guy says he’s not uncomfortable with that or avoids the subject so i dont hang with his friends., when i had shown him the apprehensions of me coming to his apartment , he got angry saying that its wrong of me doubting him. forgot to say that when was out on a walk a woman went by he commented about her cheast i said was ah right he was like it is an guy thing did your ex not say stuff about other woman i said no he did not he said probably was too scared to and made privite joke we had about my ex that he started i lauthed abit never mentioned any woman again but none went by really then we walked on also he hardly looks at me or holds my hand unless i hold his first. we then hung out the next day, but i ended up going to his place and meeting his roomates and we stayed up all night talking. this pain is really killing me and i dont know what should i do. susan,you seem to be giving good advice, so here i am with my questions. i finally felt like i had him out of my system. don’t get carried away with visions of moving somewhere with him to live happily ever after. he always holds my hand, hugs or kisses me in public or when alone and sends the occasional text message asking how is my day going. i truly like him, but i act a bit untamed at times and he says i’m keeping him on the edge all the time. becuase he feels threatend i guess and like he feels he’s losing me. so i told him i need time to get over it and he apologized for hurting my feelings. that is something way out of character for me, but it just sorta happened.’s top-ten list notwithstanding, i recommend you brush up on your greek – philia, agape, eros, the three words for love. so much, because at 11 years my junior and 75lb over weight i looked and felt horrible. we made out, and afterward he gave me his #, and for the next few days he kept in touch.: idk i feel like you’re avoiding my question — if youre not just say so and ill drop it. but the big problem and why i am now more confused is because he said he does not have time for a proper relationship (neither do i thats fine) that it would not be fair as he cannot commit the time to me or anyone else at the moment. was wondering if you could shed some light on this situation…. it feels like she thinks she is out of my league. sure enough i got sent a letter from him a month later explaining that this is just a break like in rom-coms where he will have his fun and realise in 5 years time that i really am the one. first, let me say that you are thinking about this in exactly the right way. he asked lots of questions about me, my life, family and education, which he’s never done before. started to hook up 1-2 times a week for a month and a half now, without sex though. you find out it wasn’t dating when he hooks up with someone else, which is his right if there was no official commitment. it’s been a few weeks, so this particular situation may have resolved itself one way or another, but i do have some general advice for you moving forward. but then when we came back from the break, he asked me out. (at least not when expecting me to remain in the same room/conversation/relationship). i told him i liked him, and it blew up in my face. my dad would never approve of him because of his age, even though i really think he is a good guy. we ended up hooking up the night before i left for europe (july 2011).  he always compliments me and will drop anything to do what i ask. unless he has specifically stated that he wants something different this time, i think you can assume he’s recycling the old deal. he has a pet name for me and seems to genuienely care about me…. one night he took me to a party and when we left we were alone in his care and we um… well you know :p i felt a bit bad because i didn’t want to begin it like that. we women tend to attach great importance to affectionate gestures and spending time together as indicative of emotional investment because that’s the way we operate. my blowing him off and my calling him out (in a nice way) to the fact that he wanted to “spend the night”…he’s kept in touch vis sms ever since. came back after graduating, about 2 years since my relationship ended, when i finally healed. we had fooled around randomly throughout college (no sex), nothing really came of it, it was always just drunken fun. my question is does he really want me and is it legit?. i dont know why i am telling u to i really dont know’ i didnt reply and he kept messaging me saying please reply and then he called me but i told him i dont want to argue and fight and to please talk about any thing else but not why he keeps encouraging me to hook up. his father found out, an was very offended, by still provided me with a promotion, and i was so grateful that he continued to believe in my work and leadership. kissed passionately…(no sex, nor did he pressure or ask me for it unlike our first date when we kissed and he sort of “tested” me and asked if wanted to spend the night). i’m curious whether he truly is into me, or uses work as a reason to hold back from the relationship., i like him very much; but i like me more. met up with a guy last weekend that i know casually from church. we have the same lunch and he will sit and stare at me and he goes out of his way to bump into me in the hallway. thing is, i don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling about me. i wrote all my thoughts and feelings in the letter about this whole thing… 🙁. he finally responded telling me he didn’t want to hold me back and that he really wasn’t making sure i wasn’t with anyone, that he was just asking (which i don’t believe because he got jealous angry when i brought up the last guy, which wasn’t even a big deal to me). he seems interested, so i guess i’ll find out one way or another about what he wants from me – other than the hu if anything. he is genuinly concerned about my feelings and makes sure i am comfortable. men enjoy affection, and many like to cuddle, spoon, and have wonderful conversations when they hook up.: can you not lol i dont feel comfortable discussing this with my fwb. and it’s stirring up quite the frustration bug inside of me. my previous relationships have been heavy cohabitating type situations or long distance; i’ve never really “dated” anyone so i have no idea what is normal, or expected, or what to do. we started drinking together after that and i went home with him, where he cooked food and we went to bed.,me and my hook up have been hooking up for a few years, roughly 3 years now. yeah, a random hookup might spill on his life story after a steamy sex session, but if a dude is voluntarily talking to you about this stuff a lot, not only after hooking up, it means he's trying to bond and make a deeper connection. the reason for me to choose someone far away from here is because i know that casual relationships are not for everyone, so if things can go wrong,then it`ll be easier for me to get out of it and be free knowing that he wont be close by to remind me of my mistakes. here’s why: if he doesn’t want a relationship, he will say so and you will be free to end it and find someone more compatible. he asked if i missed him i said “no but my aims getting better” and he texted back “well i’ve missed you”.” waiting for him to come to you is not a good strategy, because you are already feeling confused and conflicted. he moved back to his parents house, just 8 hrs away from where i live and a few days later on new years eve/day, he spent hours just texting me and focusing on me while at a party when most people would be having fun and just partying the night away. he saw me from a ways away, got off his bike and came up to me and hugged me, sweetly talking to me, we talked for a while, and before we parted ways he gave me a really good hug and a kiss on the forehead. i couldnt, and i was so scarred, and i told my guy – we had a online chat – he told me i should have taken him off life support. don't need a man to be alone, i can do that on my own! i understand there’s an element of the forbidden here, and that is very enticing, but a secret relationship can’t really grow in a healthy way, and secret fwb? and he hides his feelings well, so instead of just waiting to talk to him in person i spoke before i thought and sent him an email telling him that i just didn’t want to just hook up everytime i saw him, i wanted to know what was on his mind. he may be wonderful, but these are all red flags if you are seeking a deep and abiding commitment. we became friends and hang out with the same circle of friends often. we started hanging out, then thats when he started making out with me. think an important point to make is that when it comes to the sex it’s all down to me., well i have been talking to this guy for over a month, and we have hooked up twice. he suggested going somewhere more private – was he hoping to have sex? if he still wants to come around, and you think you want something more than casual sex, i’d try and schedule time to hang out without sex. he won’t give me straight answers, which if he was a normal guy i would know what that meant but he is not normal! and he hides his feelings well, so instead of just waiting to talk to him in person i spoke before i thought and sent him an email telling him that i just didn’t want to just hook up everytime i saw him, i wanted to know what was on his mind. my facial expressions can be easily read and he could tell right away if i liked or didn’t like something and he right away changed it up and made it better. if not, how can i keep him interested in me? so i told him to call me or text me anything he wanted if he needed someone to talk to.  but we do seem to be getting on quite well and he pops in to see me during the week and is lovely. i don't understand either, i mean he took the time to explain to me that he didnt hook up with certain girls, but when he found out i got asked out by someone else, he didnt believe me and said its not like he cares. meant not sure if he's falling for me* haha i wish i was sure that he was. he discussess that he is inlove with this same girl who is mu friend and she ddoesnt want to be wih him because her friends and family dont like him. i don’t do this as a rule, and i don’t want to be told i messed up royally now because again, this guy is exactly my physical type in every way, and i thought we were connecting mentally and emotionally too…. but its kept secret…he hooksup wih other girls and does not keep it a secretn he says its for our friends sake. now not even a full week after we are both back on campus we were cuddling and watching a movie he tells me how he likes me as a “really good friend” i dont like the “just friends” thing… but he keeps saying “we’ll see” about me and him later on…(i am a bigger girl and im a bit clingy he wants me to give him space and lose weight. i am a manager and just before the break-up my ex convinced me to hire his friend. i know he liked it but again he told me to stop. i’m dating, meeting new people and traveling a lot. they can enjoy a woman, feel fond of her, feel strongly attracted to her, and still not want a commitment of any kind. before thanksgiving time however, he stopped texting as much and would respond bluntly to anything i say like a simple “mkay,”so we hung out in his room and kissed friday, then saturday i initiated texting 5:00pm. in the start it was supposed to be casual but as time went on the texting,calling and time we spend together has become a lot more frequent…like multiple times a week seeing eachother and texting everyday(but he hardly will ever text me first)now this has progressed over the last year. i am “hit on” all of the time, and most guys don’t interest me, but he does!“should i just be patient and wait for him to contact me? when we are together in his room hanging out he compliments me and he is always so cute- and we don’t always hook up sometimes we just talk and cuddle. i bought a ticket but i'm still so confused, my mind's been going crazy thinking about this whole situation. i want us to talk it out so that we can make sure we’re on the same page. felt like i had soo many questions and decided to send him an email basically telling him that what i wrote before wasn’t what i meant and what i meant was that i enjoyed our friendship before and i realize that i can’t do the in between because i can’t handle it and i have feelings. yes i do get jealous from comments on his facebook wall, obviously never express any of it. if he says “no relationship” i advise you to end it immediately, before you get even more hurt. we still talk, but i’m nervious, don’t know what to do when i see him next time, help please…. i wouldn’t say “i love you,” but you could let him know that you’re falling for him in just those words. three months is not such a long time, and he may be “playing it safe” by keeping his options open – after all, you could decide to leave him. do like him, but if there are not some other flavours coming through from him whenever he gets back to town, i will just keep liking him from a distance, and keeping it friendly, as you said! if a guy knows that the is not committed and can pull back at any time, or have sex with someone else, he may thoroughly enjoy your company in all the ways you describe. would advise you to take a deep breath, there’s a good chance he’s going through all the same anxieties, wondering if he came on too strong with cuddling-style behavior, etc. this was before i told him it was out of the country and not any guy around here) and even during the hook up he brought the guy up and he wanted to make sure that i didn’t have him in mind and that i didn’t think any guy was better for me than he was. that’s how we fell asleep and he wrapped his legs between mine and spooned me the entire night. and since am new to this kind of relatioship,i thought it was a good thing to start from here and have fun with someone i wont have to run into on the streets or something like that,so……we`ve been chating everyday and having our online satisfaction but since we had our first real encounter,things have changed.,i am having a major issue right now that is completely stressing me out in a time that i don’t need stress. we got chatting online and told him if he’s not too busy he could come to my friends and the three of us could just hang out. sounds like a classic case of a guy who’s been burned bigtime, and may want to date a woman but a full-blown integrated relationship is going to be a long-range project for him. it was all good and in the end after his roommate he asked me to be his girlfriend.. but im afraid to ask my friends about it bc i feel like they are judging me for kissing him/making out wednesday night and him not being my boyfriend. he says i should come next time because it’ll be more fun with me. is going to school to become a doctor and is very driven. did i mention he referred to us as an “intimate relationship? sometimes we stay in and watch movies, but other than that there has never been purposeless hanging out, but other than that for all intents and purposes he pretty much acts like my boyfriend.“these are just some of the things that confuse me since we are only fwb. this shocks me since we just had the conversation we did and we get in a fight about it. he’d want to be involved in my day but sincce he wasn’t my boyfriend i didn’t want to get carried away. we are about the same age and both from latino backgrounds. he is just playing you to get sex, and probably doing the same, or trying to, with other girls. i talk about him, we spend time together, go out, eat, do the dirty, talk, yadda.” [he said he places a premium on looks, which was his basic criteria for all his previous relationships, but in my case hes attracted to my entire personality] there was one occasion where i was really angry about having to walk a few kilometers in the freezing cold and bitching about it so he called me a cab and arranged for it to drive us home. i’m a firm believer that if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen and be, and if not, i’m okay with that.” what’s not ok is to blame or rage at him for it, more on that later…. or he has a fear of commitment/doesn’t want to get hurt? i spent most of the last 5 years doing the single thing, dating, sleeping around, etc, mostly because i had my own issues i needed to work out and i wasn’t ready for a real relationship i guess. day i'm gushing to a coworker about boy a, this guy that i've been in love with since i was 13 and as i'm telling her about it he chats me on facebook. stop all interaction with him, and don’t give him any encouragement. i met this guy over a year ago through another guy i was dating at the time. man kissed me unexpectedly four months ago and since then we see each other regularly at least twice a month for 4-5 days every time. i said that i am, that i like him very much and enjoy our time together. susan,well this is still doing my head in, as per my previous posts. what other women are willing to do, to condone or participate in can not be my guiding line in such a deeply personal and private matter. one ammendment, i said the mutual friend said she wasnt looking for affection, that’s supposed to be “attachment”.

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he’ll always text me and see what i’m doing and seems interested in my life stories., i would first like to start with acknowledging the fact that this site is great and at the moment i am very appreciative of it! i don’t know his reasons because i of course can’t read his mind, but if i’m not mistaken he drove all the way down just to see me because in that weekend he only saw the friend he drove down with, the friend who let him stay at his place, me, and his brother.“but several other friends’ comments have made me wonder if we are actually meant to be together, due simply to the fact that we’ve carried on for so long. i didnt ask for his number b/c i was nervous the next day when i left but i stayed over there until late the next afternoon and he drove me 30 minutes home to my house made comments the whole way that he hopes there was traffic so he could spent more time w/ me ect. we don’t usually do back-to-back get togethers so it threw me for a loop but sure. it still felt the same like before but what had changed is he doesn’t want me with anyone else. it just doesn’t work to spend this kind of time together and have no idea what the other person is thinking, especially if you find yourself bonding with him. also, he has cooked for me several times whenever i come over. i have an odd schedule (usually work weekends) so we kinda work around my work schedule. i assume he still has one or two on the side, which he doesn’t really tell me about, as he says its not important. the third time we were cuddling at his house we ended up sleeping together.” since friday he has also been texting me “sweet dreams” every night. still, that week i got a few questionable texts, again hinting that he may have deeper feelings for me. the (short version) conversation went like this (ps this was yesterday night):z: jesus you didnt even answer my question. i drunkenly lost my v and i was unable to finish which i was sure was primarily due to my intoxication at the time. we did end up fooling around (by fooling around i mean kissing, heavy petting, some oral) minimally and he cuddled me all night. if they hit on me, she tells me that he gets really jealous and the look on his face is like he’s gonna kick their ass.), i’m happily chilling at home and not planning to go out (which wasn’t a lie either! when we stepped outside that night he kissed me for no reason, and when i asked he just said ” because i wanted to. this one night we hooked up, then we went out the next day, and the day after that but it’s not like he asks me out. and you are right, i don’t want to make the decision myself..whenever we hang out he tells me how much he likes me. his best friend invited me for his leaving dinner tomorrow, i won’t go as it wasn’t him that invited me and now i think i’m not the one for him, feeling quite unhappy and planning not to see him. he expressed to my father that he had always had a thing for me and i just so happened to be interested in him as well. we went to three different bars, my place, went out to a restaurant for late night food, and then she spent the night. instead of praying my tomato plants to grow, i go to the store and buy some tomatoes. i know he’s has a past of getting around with alot of other girls, but he doesn’t treat me like one of them.. my ex) he’ll tell me that he doesn’t want to know or he’ll playfully make fun of the guy. so i have been reading all of your great advice and hope you can shed some light on the very confusing & complicated situation i’m in—i met this amazing guy about 5 months ago and we hit it off immediately (we met the night of my bday party his roommate who i am good friends w/ introduced us). terrasini, thanks for sharing your story, i'll do my best. i also have a sinking feeling that i am going to fall flat on my face with this one…yet i can’t help myself, this is new and exciting and i feel like i have to see where it goes even if i don’t like the outcome…any thoughts you might have on my situation would be immensely helpful! he said that he was sorry if he seemed distant right now and that his entire life is changing, so that’s all he can focus on at the moment. he can’t tell me he sees me in the future but he also doesn’t deny it. sometimes i think he really wants a relationship, and then he will do something that just indicates the opposite. so like those that have preceded me, i’m in need of advice. operating the marriage requires a lot of time and effort, and most men are pragmatic and want to build up other enterprises in their lives before they devote the bulk of their effort to that one. would think he really likes me based on the above, right?” and when i answer “you just want me to miss you and like you, which doesn’t mean i do” he would say “yes”. i need to spend the night alone” and walked me back to my own place, though texting me on and off to make sure i was okay. i wanted a serious relationship and he seemed like a player so i was acting/being very indecisive. but i was genuinely concerned and felt very bad because i have been there myself.’m sorry to be harsh, but i have seen literally dozens, even hundreds of women convince themselves that guys care using this kind of evidence, only to learn that none of it meant a thing.“his response: that i like you as a person and love spending time with you but i am not in love with you. after 5 days of not saying anything, he sends me a text 11:30 tuesday night saying “hey stranger”this is how it went. a comment got made about us dating and he laughed and said “we’re not dating”. this “thank you” bit sounded weird to me, i felt like i had done a favor or smth. it's up to me to walk away and let the other be the way they are. the next day he told me he didn’t want a relationship and wasn’t ready for one yet. him kept saying he is coming to me but always something came up and could not make it..as such, hope you can help me with my little problem. the next day he went back home and now things have gone completely way out of hand,he is sending me videos,romantic love songs,calling me 3 times in a day,even more wanting to know where i am or my plans for a day and he is trying so bad to know more about my family but in a cleaver way and everytime i changed the subject he finds a way to sink me in into it again. third date consisted of me going over to his house. me and my coworker were very flirty from the beginning and all our coworkers would joke about us but nothing had ever happened at that point. we did and were laughing and talking a lot until he asked if he could kiss me. he readily admitted that he’s attracted to me, and he talks to me one-on-one when we’re out with friends, but no pda. in a sad way, not “damn, there goes my piece of ass” kinda way. no i dont first time i cheated on bf or anyone had been having problems for like 5 years tried to talk about it went on same way can understand where you are coming from and i did feel so bad about the way it ended should not have did what i did but thanks for your reply. you could actually do that now, or at any time, but i can understand why you might want to give him some time without pressuring him. are easy together, have so much fun every time and we do the whole sit to watch movies, go out to eat, take walks and show pda…he’s never raised his voice at me or hurt me in any way. would be great since you seem to be so good at it and i am so new to this whole “single” thing… it seems like every guy these days wants nothing but a hook up buddy.. you start off by telling me that you and this guy were very flirty when you were married and he was in a relationship with the mother of his child. sounds to me like it’s really not that big a deal. i know that he knows the power he has over me because he’ll stop communicating with me for a period of time and then when i finally feel like im moving on he’ll pop up with this i want u to be close again and i see me marrying you in the future i just want you to fall on your head a few times. i went out of town on sunday, otherwise i think he probably would have tried to see me again. a part of me feels he’s genuinely interested but doesn’t want anything too serious right now just got out of a year long relationship late in the summer) which is why he’s not pushing to have sex with me. we actually know eachother 2 months and its in the past month that we’ve started spending so much time together.. he plans to go to medical school, which means 7 years, during which a relationship would be a total pain in the ass. he may even have gotten closer to me in terms of showing it. and he started calling me baby and sweetie again in the past few days some thing which he stopped before until i tried to end it. next night we had a very intense two hour fool around session in which he told me he is not looking to be in a relationship and that he isn’t sure that i can keep my emotions seperate and that he doesn’t want to hurt me… i told him that i could just have fun and things have been progressing from there…since then we have been fooling around every now and again as well as having some sexually charged conversations via text message. at the same time, he’s repeatedly told you he’s not ready to get “serious. the girls he flirts with he tells me that they are just his friends or are his friends girlfriends. the things that make me feel as though he is indeed falling for me are more like him going out of his way to come see me at a wake to make sure i’m ok… granted he lives a few blocks away from where the funeral home was but he came by and called me and said ” i’m outside, would you like to take a break and a cigarette with me? he seems to be comfortable, does not even make plans ahead of time as his weekend is pretty much free and i select which day/time is good for me. over the past year, he has indicated interest in hanging out, just the two of us, and i have always brushed it off with a joke or something. i kept asking myself the same- i don’t know if i hurt/confused his feelings or he was a player who got impatient. at this point i would like to point out that this guy has a big ego and i know hes had plenty of women. apologies to those who have been waiting a while, some of these wind up slipping through the cracks. this will be a bit long, just because i have so much in my mind. so school was soon over and i stopped going a week before school turned out and he wasnt aware of me doing it but i didnt think he would care. i’m not sure if i was used for a ride or if he actually likes me and really wants me to move up there or what. i appreciate the effort he is taking to carve himself a niche in my life. he said that before he even met me he wanted to be single for awhile. there’ve been some hints at a another potential activity together.• tags: awkward, casual sex, date, dating, emotional intimacy, emotions, eye contact, fall, favorite things, friend, friendship, guys, hook up, hooking up, hookup, humor, hurdles, intimacy, open, perils, reassurance, relationship, relationships, romantic relationship, sex, sexual intimacy, signals, signs, talk, together. since then we’ve seen each other about once or twice a week, at least once a week, and i’ve stayed at his house about three times. yourself: do i see myself with him in the long term? well we did and during that he started kissing me, which made me uncomfortable and i asked him to stop.[captcha]leave this field empty if you're human: follow hooking up smart:Like us on facebooklatest tweetstweets by @susanawalsh homeaboutadvertiseprivacy policycontact. no guy, or girl, is going to introduce a random hookup to their family with any kind of importance.“i met this guy a month ago and he has become my fwb. i replied next morning (yesterday) concluding with “you should come here with your x friends for food and wine” etc and again no contact since.: let me know the next time you want to hang out, for now i have to go to bed, have an acct test :/. susan/badger,let me start by saying i am a 40 year old woman who is just returning to the dating world after a 20 year marriage. or do i feel like i am falling for him because of the attention he is giving me now? he held me really close then asked if he could kiss me. i mean, i really don’t know what to do! obviously, he hasn’t gotten the message so far, so you’re going to have to be direct. if he wants to make the commitment, that this is something real and serious, and that you are going to be in each other’s lives, you will embark on a whole new relationship that should include a lot more than being in bed together. he does not want to cross a line into a new involvement right now. when we came back to school, we hung out on that monday night and everything went back to normal. and i said a little joke that would let him know that i was a dang good friend and he better feel lucky to have me as one! fast fwd a week—he was out of town visiting fam, and i was out with his roommate andh is roommate sent him a texting joking around that i said i missed him—he ends up asking for my number, and we text the entire night…he says the nicest things to me like “waking up next to you was undoubtably amazing” and “when you have a girl as gorgeous as you its pretty easy to want them to stay” (talking about me leaving the next day after my bday when i spent the night there)…. the entire vegas trip he was looking out for me and really sweet, telling me how pretty i looked every night and mentioning that we had hooked up by making jokes in front of people. hes also told me and expressed to me that he cares about me (though im not sure if he means on a friend level or on a romantic level). first few times together were kinda that “booty call” sex, but then it has kinda shifted to more passionate, almost intimate sex. guys generally don’t spend a lot of time cultivating platonic friendships with women. he came and spent 2 weeks here which we travel together and he stayed in my place and we had a great lovely time together. he needed to express this because i was getting kind of attached to him and he didnt wanna do something stupid and have me hate him. i’ve had opportunities to be in relationships with other men, committed ones, but i’ve all but chased them away because they don’t compare to him. however, if we were at the same place, there is a chance of “something more developing” (whatever that might be). he is very attentive when i have life problems, and he listens and tries to help me come up with solutions. i always know when my guy friends are legit dating a girl because when they are, they start bringing her around and introducing her to everyone. long story short, the marriage went downhill, and 3 years into the marrige and 75 added pounds on my 5′ 2 body a man 11 years my junior befriends me at work. he’s also invited me to places and offer to pay for me. except this time i put my hands down his shorts. susan,its me again…so i wasn’t able to hold out long and i confronted the man and we had a small talk about “us. i suggested that maybe we should hang again sometime after i get back. i want him to be my boyfriend (although i know you’ll say that’s pretty unrealistic)..he values his “guy time” and i think he doesnt want to be tied down but i wonder why this is still going on with us or what im supposed to think. and if it’s the former, how will that work living in two separate countries? however i dont understand his angle, and what he wants from me.-sometimes he’ll tell me he misses me already after only being apart for like an hour.. also he always encourages me to meet other guys but if i do anything with any one else he gets so upset. i told him it’d give us a chance to become proper friends and he seemed to like the idea.” ditto whatever comes out of his mouth while he’s drunk (would you want to be held to things you said while drunk?” he hates such talks, in any case, mentioned that he is quite perplexed and confused, because he did not expect things to progress the way they have. school started and he seemed angry with almost as if he held some type of grudge. he said that he was there to make sure it was good for me so he kept delaying his own and asking what i wanted. a few days later my roommate and i went to his apartment and hung out, and he asked if i wanted to be “fuck buddies”. he may be shy, he may be wary because he was hurt once, or he may not want to get involved with someone when he knows he is leaving..He told me he would come to meet me in the evening with our few mutual friends, but fell a sleep and didn’t make it. i never say that, so he called me like 2 minutes later knowing something was wrong. he would never admit to me that mary was his girlfriend, even though everyone said she was. for future reference, i think that if you have something casual with someone, stop and then pick up again at some future point, you should assume that it is still casual. i have been pretty lucky in that my first dates with men usually result in second dates and so on. he has literally had trouble fitting you into his schedule and has admitted that even close family members feel that he doesn’t make time for them. if you're dating, your relationship isn't all about hooking up - it's also about hanging out and getting to know each other, going places in public and just generally bonding. i took it and me and the guy have now been exclusive for three weeks… best three weeks of my life to be honest.” and i responded stupidly because i guess i didn’t understand what he was saying so i responded with the city that i met up with him and he said the city and connected it with a country that had the same city that we were in. we did exchange some rather racey texts the day after we hooked up. women oftentimes think “he says he loves me, so why doesn’t he want to marry me? my only concern was the age difference with me being a very mature 26 year old and him being 23 but i figured what the heck why not give it a shot. comments really put me at ease and i feel more confident on what i need to do. long story short, he comes over, we talk and have great conversation and eventually hook up. i always feel maybe i should end to give hime room to find that one. he kissed me goodbye a few times deeply before he got out. well that first weekend we ended up sleeping together and he made it clear he wasn’t interested in me bc he started hooking up with another girl in our class. this time, we were touching foreheads for a good minute and even eskimo kissed afterwards. susan,if you could help me out here i’d greatly appreciate it. first, let me just say that there is no way you can blow it with a woman by staying out late and letting her stay over. my friend encouraged me to email him just making simple conversation and he responded back pretty much telling me he noticed me and wanted to hang out. he bought me flowers because he felt bad for the miscommunication. we ended up hooking up for ages and stopping to chat for a second or do something silly. 2) i’ve only met one of his friends and ive never been invited to hang out with his other friends. but he recently told me that he does not really like sex. more than that the truth is i’m overly analytical, like i’m the type to obsess over something and dissect it completely — like i literally cannot “go with the flow” — more than that i cant bring myself to ask him what is going on with him bc everytime the conversation moves that way he just avoids the question or manages to work around it.?i’ve always wondered about this, what do you think this could mean from his stance? from the next day onwards we both had an unspoken agreement to forget that discussion and we have continued to this day (two months later) being friends-with-benefits. gets jealous whenever i text someone or someone texts me. i met this guy (we'll call him boy a) 7 years ago at a summer camp. i do get to every question from readers, but i receive many emails and requests for advice – it can take me a while to dig out. i don’t have a car and i don’t have any freedom in my house to go places or hang out with friends.

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at the end of the work day, i asked him if there was something wrong and he seemed really embarassed. well, the longest we went without talking was 2 days and he would text me but after we started having sex, his talk mostly consisted of sex; but other than that, he was always nice to me. with that being said, i can personally identify myself in all subject areas 1-10…pretty much to the last detail even though its a general opinion it is very accurate and i can tell that you are extremely knowledgable in relationships. a similar argument could be made for why beta supplication doesn’t work on young women seeking risk and novelty in their men. also thank you so much for taking the time to write back. after he came back, i didn’t hear from him much because i had a feeling he was going to be leaving soon for his job out of the country and maybe that he didn’t want me to get attached/him to get my hopes up, but then all of a sudden i was hearing from him everyday. he has even put questions out there concerning jealousy ex: “if a year from now you saw me talikng to other females would you get mad? some of my colleagues have told me that he never used to visit the area or stop for coffee and a chat and on the days i missed work, he didn’t even show up. he finally called and asked me if i wanted to go on a date with him. susan,so there was a guy in my class last semester. you think that from reading what i put down that he wrote verbatim he is still interested in me? perhaps he is just wanting to be a nice friend or he’s trying to establish some sort of friends with benefits with me.– asked me to go out with him this weekend to go dancing  (where he normally picks up chicks) and to paint his apartment w/ him…though we are friends at work and occasionally after hours, we’ve been quite sporadic in hanging out. also as he works for me we are together all day (it is only a two person office). i understood and we hooked up but at the same time it didn’t feel like just a hook up. but after that night i told him, he seemed even more into me. and have been 2-3 timesa a week for the past 3 years. a year after we became friends we had out first kiss and it was perfect. i’m going bonkers and getting anxious and i keep telling myself to just sit on my hands and wait. he says love commitment etc…i then explained that i by no means meant that. my best bet know is to be my most charming attractive self and see how this all unfolds…most of the signs you mentioned in this post seems true of him…. i have to believe that if he wanted a real commitment he would have locked it down by now, but you’ve put so much into this relationship, it really doesn’t make sense to do anything without having a frank talk first. from what i know he is a very or used to be a rather promiscuous men who “likes variety”. we’ve been through a lot from rumors he unintentionally spread, pictures he allowed to be posted on the net, and just heartbreak and a lot of game playing. im loving and al this other stuff but for some reason when im singal this freind and i always hit it off., so thats the story so far, so the things that are really bothering me are:1. i emailed him the next day apologizing and don’t know how i took it that way and asked him what he meant by “where are we? so i did and he ended up coming over the next night and we watched a movie and ended up hooking up. he’s started to add more kissing, he’s now clasping hands, and being snuggly with me. he just didn’t seem fake with me and he always seemed to be trying to figure me out and learning more about me, emotionally and mentally, not physically. about a week ago he left my place in the morning (and at thus time we hadn’t slept together yet) he texted me asking how i feel about him and if i’m falling for him. he even told me he was hurt that i was very distant. before we went on break he invited me to come stay the break with him but i couldn’t., i’ve been reading through all these stories hoping to find one similar to my current dilemma. xxx- here’s hoping that i grow some balls, lol:). night i returned we met up, and i asked him what was up. you are concerned about things that you should be concerned about, and that is good, because you are unlikely to spend much time with a man who cannot deliver what you want.,After we had sex i told him that he should consider himself “lucky” b/c i’m very picky with who i choose to hook up with. so either way, if i make a decision i see myself getting hurt so it’s much easier to have someone make this decision for me that way i can’t hold myself accountable. he hasn’t ever really declined unless he has other plans or something, but i am wondering if it could possibly be one-sided. who has known us since the beginning says there’s no way he doesn’t have feelings and that it’s obviously not about the sex if he rarely makes a move even though we see each other a few times a week. it hurt me but at the same time, i just understood cause he was there by himself and probably felt lonely. and we didn’t have sex, but while we were hooking up he was clearly focused on me. you might have guessed, i am beyond early college years, (we both are in our mid-40's) – but as far as catching onto to american mannerism between men/women, i am a bloody virgin. we were both tipsy and yet sparks flew and we hit it off immediately, we basically just flirted like crazy until our friends had to pry us away from each other because it was closing time.!i just wondered if maybe i could get a little insight on my current situation. i really like him a lot, just he seems close to perfect in my opinion. i brought up the “talk” again and this time he went on the defensive, and that night he basically said “though im over my ex, its hard for me to move on to a new relationship right now and im not sure what i want just yet. i asked him what he was crying for and he said it was just really good to see me. i sat down on the bed and eventually leaned back so that my hand was touching the legs of one of the guys..Do you think i should ask him why he is not making move or if he just sees me as a friend? because so many relationships do start with hooking up first (although only 12% of sexual hookups ever progress to a relationship), a guy can hook up, have real feelings, and then worry about showing them too early. unfortunately, we get along on so many levels, i just think he’s still thinking the grass is greener and may be interested in polygamy period. as soon as i avoided him for a while he came running back in my face. two days after we broke up, boy a chats me up inquiring about my recent single status and makes plans to hang out with me the next day. he said he hasnt fallen for anyone this fast and everything about me seems right. i don’t think he was saying that just to get me away. after 5-6 dates we have not be “physical” yet, apart from some kissing, as he seems respecful and somewhat conservative. he is in a funk due to his very recent unemployment. here are 10 signs you’re dating and not just hooking up. i don’t want to just hook up with him and repeat the past, with me feeling broken hearted, confused, and our friendship becoming awkward? out of the blue he tells me  last week that he misses me and wants to come to be with me. these are just some of the things that confuse me since we are only fwb. we haven’t talked about “us” since last year but things seem to have changed…and yet they’re the same. well now its my second year in college and we reconnected over the summer and have been texting and flirting. fact that he is sending them at all, however not as often (not “blowing up my phone” like he had before we slept together) is still a good sign, i think. fake bf is when you are hooking up regularly with a guy, you think it is going great, it feels just like dating except that you have never actually had the define the relationship talk. what is confusing me is the fact that his friends always tease him about his past girlfriends whenever i walk into the house, or tease him that he hooked up with another girl.) we also have some sort of communication/contact every day…. men don’t say that if they don’t mean it.. ok, i understand what you’re saying, susan, thank you for your help:) i usually am direct with people, but find it extremely difficult to be direct with him; partly because of my attraction to him, but also partly because he’s very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily. why i feel like he’s into me:-he always lights up and smiles when he sees me come in at work. when we first starting texting it was every few days or so and then before i knew it we have been texting everyday, he usually texts me before he goes to sleep and in the morning when he wakes. the whole, ‘i love you “heaps” ‘ thing is interesting to me. it may signal a desire for something more, or it may be his idea of heaven just as it is. we decided to meet up, he seemed pretty intent to have sex with me and i was horny so i agreed. think you could just say “listen, i’m not very good at having serious talks, but i find myself feeling confused about what we’re doing.. does he actually have feelings for me or is it just a hook up? i’ve been trying my best to be friendly and even initiate conversations with him lately. we texted sporadically for a while and i invited him to a paintball session a bunch if friends were going to but he works all weekend (two fulltime jobs) so he couldn’t make it but offered to hang out after and we could “fool around. is the first time i date a man of this rare breed: an entrepreneur, a workaholic, and the frustrated artist in one package. the first night that we hung out, i implied that i wanted something with no strings attached. his body language was the same as when we initially began, very zoned in and focused on me, he’d brought up things that reminded him of me, and repetedly showed that he cared and approved of the little things he somehow knew i’ve been up to recently. he also spent his birthday with me instead of going out w friends. we hooked up physically fairly early on; earlier than i’m used to. my friends think im crazy and delusional that if we were meant to be together then we would be by now.. he finds out about midway trough last semester i have been hanging out with our mutual guy friends roommate and asks me 4 times in the following weeks if i’m dating the guy after we hadn’t hooked up for a while. i hope things will eventually work out with us and that at some point he will be ready to commit but i just dont know…can you please help me out and shed some light on the situation i am in? evolution does indeed happen 🙂i am so happy that you are sharing all this with many women / men who are stopping by this website. i don’t consider myself the normal everyday kind of girl and i have always found it hard to find someone who really understands me. he apologised for the way he’d treated me and said hed missed me too. friday again he came back to my friends place with me and once again we were all cuddly and holding hands, kissed me on my forehead. he told me he is very good at compartamentalizing things and im not sure of the extent to which he does so with me.  but now he has started saying that he misses me and can’t wait to spend time with me……………. during the first few months, from what i know, he met up with different girls but since new years, it has only been me. and then he is shamed as a “bad friend” and told it’s “unfair” that she loses him, as if she’s the only one who should get to decide the terms of the relationship and whether it exists at all. i don’t hear often from women that guys have been pursuing for two years. i feel really good about this conversation:) while i read the last paragraph of your article regularly, especially the “reliable and consistent attention” bit, not to chill out too much:) i’ll meet one of his best friends this week, might invite him as well, and next time i see him i will keep an extra eye on the above signs:) lets see what happens…. i was touching him (down there) and he told me to stop. he has told me that he finds both my physical appearance and personality attractive and we always have a great time together, laughing. even though he was willing to go places with me and said that he would always keep his promises, i felt that all the things he said were to get into my pants. and i really really really need some answers and advice, because i can’t seem to take my own or even listen to myself at all.. but then the next day he told me that he didn’t want to continue with this because he might get back with his ex over the weekend. most people also think that he is trying to keep me close, but also at arm’s reach because he is trying to make sure i will fit into his new life, figure out his future, and decide if he wants to trust me again after all the rejection before he decides either way. but then he spends all this time with me and makes out with me but doesnt try to have sex? he contacted me everyday until we finally hung out and it was like we’ve known eachother for years. to some men, getting married is not so much a “commitment” as it is a resignation, a statement that “i’ve had enough variety. otherwise, i’d have told him a long time ago. when i say i've seen how he looks at me i mean i see longing, like he wants to get closer but something is holding him back.: shutterstock you talk on the phone instead of just textinga big sign that you're dating is that you actually talk on the phone rather than just sending short text messages. shows of affection or sex do not mean he wants to get “committed. the summer holidays has kicked in and we are no longer near his ex, he has been better with me and he barely has mentioned his ex and we go out each week and enjoy eachothers company. we work for the same government agency but in different areas. i may or may not be cubbs when i come back. he has introduced me to every friend, and took me out to several dinners. you confused about whether or not you’re dating someone right now? it’s not often that a good relationship can come out of so much drama and miscommunication in the past.!Well, besides flat out asking (which is obviously the best way to figure it out), there are some signs you can look out for. if he just calls you at 9 pm and asks if you want to come over to watch a movie, then immediately tries to get in your pants? he told me if i want to “play the field” feel free but he would stop seeing me. he would tell me about his past and ask about mine (which i didn’t even want to talk about). we ended up just hanging out like the first time and it felt the same. i am relatively new to this whole hook up/fwb thing and i need some objective advice. i told him and he told me to move on without him being more than just a friend., and talked after, still asking me questions and trying to get to know me. he’s handsome and sweet and kind and respectful of me.  he said – next time we will have to have a nice chat. but something happened this past weekend he spoke to one of his friends ” therapy talk” about i guess this one girl and me. i’ve been at my job for about a year and a half now… when i first started housekeeping at a hotel (which was march of 2009) there was a front desk gentleman who i found very, very attractive. to my questions, he answered he didn’t regret what had happened between us but it wasn’t the way he had wanted to do things; he said he liked me but it was complicated. my husband and i got back together a couple of times, only to come apart again because a.“phone or not, i would think if he hadn’t lost that comfort, and if he was really interested in me, he would be calling even if from a pay phone. a few weekends later we ran into each other at the bar again and all we did was just talk about where we went to school back home and got to know each other a little more, no dancing or anything that night. spend every weekend together (either he stays over or i do) and we say that we like the other person a lot, have mutually good sex (we’re both very physical), have met each other’s family, and he’s met my friends and made an effort to impress them. to my knowledge, he’s not flirting or hooking up with anyone else. at the last minute, he decided he was starting to feel better and really wanted to see me. then a few weeks later, i saw him at a music event again, he was very interested, we talked just for a bit and i could feel that he was watching me whole night. the sex problem between my husband and i never found resolution. usually when he says good bye, he would give me a great hug and kiss on the forehead, but at the end of that night, it was an awkward hug. i really do like him and he appears to like me but i dont want to push him away by making him think i am wanting more or moving to fast does it appear he is devloping feelings or am i simply over reacting or mis reading the situation? he held me and kept asking if i was ok and if i wanted to go to bed. i was hurt, because i thought that he meant it was basically a one night stand. this happens so rarely to me so he has stayed on my mind after that. so i texted him, telling him that it made me feel unsure of things when he was dismissive in person on occasion and that it made me worry that he didn’t mean the things he said about caring about me. we spent the weekend together as planned and had an amazing time, great sex, great conversations, we laughed and just carried on. if he’s 45, i assume his kids are a bit older. before we hooked up, i asked him what his plans were then because he graduated that semester and he told me he was going to leave the country to teach english. he sent me a friend request on fb, which i accepted. we dated and he asked me out and i turned him down. i hope you are not still hooking up with this asshole. i’ve known him for 3 months now, and in the beginning, he told me that we could only be friends, that he likes me but his “gut” tells him we could never be together, that there is a difference between liking and being in love. anyway, i’m not really pursuing anyone at the moment. men can’t take advantage of your good nature if you demonstrate self-respect by refusing to stick around when someone treats you poorly. it started off by him always texting me, wanting to hang out. now we can go a week without talking as in before we would talk in some form everyday.  maybe he feels some affection, but i doubt anything more–at least i doubt it based on anything you’ve said. why wouldn’t he call her and explain that he had decided to be exclusive with someone? that wednesday he asked me to sit with him at this all faith mass at my school, but he had to rush off right after bc he had a meeting (he is really busy, has two jobs) he didnt text me till friday at 7:00 asking “what r u doing tonight? so we started play wrestling and tickling each other and ended up hooking up. regarding your list – if by “falling for” you mean falling in love, i think that might be a bit soon in my case.” however, there’s a very wide berth between hooking up and getting married, so there’s nothing wrong with getting a little deeper into things if you are feeling more intensity. he even brought up to me in front of his friends something like, “if we were living together, would you do this ______”. well, right after the friend and i started working together there was some very intense flirting, we even got to the what are you looking for in a life partner conversation (strangely enough we are pretty much exactly what the other is looking for). a few years ago i met a guy at work and in a short space of time we became quite close in a chatty and conversational way.

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The Long-Term Hookup: Unofficially Official or Officially Unofficial

we hooked up a couple more times and hung out. he tells me that he likes me a whole lot all the time. he tells me about how his ex girlfriend took advantage of him on st..So we started dating a little after halloween, and i know he def likes me bc from the beginning, he made all the first moves, asking for my number, texting me, and asking me out. men often enjoy spending time with women, being affectionate, cooking meals together, etc. afterwards, i went to a bar with my friend and was texting him, he admitted that he thought we were sleeping together, but i told him no and that i would rather be doing that with him. it sounds to me like you care a lot about him and would like to seriously date him. of my friends suggested to just ask him to kiss me! i have never heard of a woman wanting casual sex with the same person over a period of time without catching some kind of feelings. he apologized for the late response and hopes everything is well with me. i just let it go and finally he emailed me to see how i was doing and noticed some changes i’ve made (just school direction and such) and was writing to me like nothing bad happened in the past. i said that i understood, i just needed some reassurance sometimes that it wasn’t just meaningless sex. i dont know how to take it back… im not sure i want a boyfriend but i want him to know not to be afraid to tell me if he likes me. you can’t get serious reassurance from this guy very soon, in the form of his trying hard to be in a relationship, my advice is to walk. then right after that he went to her and went to her locker and he paid her attention and totally avoided me like i was nothing and it did hurt. after that he would continuously text me and call me up every day just to say hi… what is going on here? i’ve had men i was in love with cheat on me. remember, a guy’s showing affection, cuddling, talking for hours, etc. the thursday before that weekend he came to my job and i took my break and sat with him and we discussed what our situation was. perhaps he can let you know, even if he can’t commit right now, whether this is something that you should plan your career around, even temporarily. i guess i didn’t mind doing this for so long cus i didn’t feel anything at the time, but now that i do, it just really messes with me. when men are interested, they generally say so unless they fear rejection.. :'( i don’t know how to ask him to meet me since he didn’t want to at first. advice is always to wait to have sex at least until you feel secure that you and he are on the same page in terms of what you’re looking for.. what should my course of action be, at the end of the night when she kissed me we agreed we would see each other wednesday, since she will be busy for the rest of the weekend since she has another midterm tomorrow. i don't have anymore my center of gravity wrapped around the action or non-action of a man, but still, can't get a clear sense of this one here. thanks for posting this site – i’ve been reading up on a ton of info on the web as this is my first fwb arrangement (i’m 28!” then he automatically corrects himself with: “i mean, another guy. about a week later he takes advantage of my offer. he got jealous mad and told me he wanted to beat the guy up (just figurately, of course! he invited me over all the time to stay with him. for the advice, i kind of think the same but one feels more comfortable when ideas are confirmed by someone from outside the problem, who sees it in an unbiased manner. not a fan of that and makes me think twice about him anyway. i also don’t want to be too availablee too soon and be hanging out all the time right away. just last night he introduced me to some of his friends from back home (i went to grade school and high school with some of them) and we all talked for awhile, him and i then danced and ended up making out. so we ended up doing something he goes this could be a date right.’s talking oneself into the rationality of the arrangement (neither of us have time for a relationship, don’t want to get tied down, what about my career, etc etc), the rational setting of boundaries (you don’t have to call the next day, sleeping over is optional, yada yada yada), the repeating of “there’s no place like home” (“it’s only sex, i’m not having any feelings for him/her,”) the admission that they’d love to have a real relationship, endless questions about what this or that semi-romantic gesture means (holding hands during sex, making breakfast, calling for no reason), barely repressed frustration at the tantalizing could-be’s. we again were at the bar a few weekends later and he came up to me and hugged me and asked me to dance, afterwards he held my hand and told me he wanted me to meet some of his friends, that night we didn’t do anything either. of course, everyone seemed to think that i was going to be with this friend, sexually, but that wasn’t my intent and i made that clear as well. i’ve even asked guys whom i trust and they even said that the way he was with me was unusual. if he’s not really interested in spending much time together, except for sex, you’ll have your answer. as cliche as it sounds im scared shitless to be hurt again, and to seriously fall for someone. before we hooked up, i asked him what his plans were then because he graduated that semester and he told me he was going to leave the country to teach english. anyways, so he started texting me a couple of weeks ago and we decided to get together since it had been so long. i would be totally honest with him – let him know that it’s not personal, you’re still healing from your breakup, and it will take a long time to build trust.“so maybe he doesn’t want a commitment right now, but i’m not looking to rush into anything myself. and when we got back to my place he continued telling me how much he likes me nd how happy i make him and that he was going to invite me to his house upstate for the weekend if i didn’t already go out with my girlfriends. we became fast platonic friends and we got along great. the sooner you can cut yourself loose from any contact at all with him, the sooner you will feel open to meet someone who might be emotionally available. now that you have hooked up, he will either back off or continue his interest. about a month later (april 2011) he told me we should stop hooking up because he was talking to a girl, mary, that he had stopped talking to in the fall for me and didn’t think it was fair. you’re smart to go down about 5 years if you can – those women are so fed up with players and guys keeping their options open, they’ll jump at a chance to be with an older guy if they’re looking for a relationship. we met in person after two weeks of exchanging messages. no guy, no ex for that matter even, has made me feel so loved before, ironically. have been emotional in the past and he has given me nothing , and it feels like the tables have turned, i ignore him when he gets emotional it ends up being that awkward silence till his forced to change the subject, i know it’s immature and mean but i feel like if i ignore it it’s not there. we still emailed for the remainder of the 7 months before i got a surprise message from him after 7 months of emailing that he was back home for the holidays to visit and he wanted to see me so we made plans to see eachother and he drove down with a friend to stay with his other friend and make sure to see me. you: you say you want a relationship with him, but you’ve told him something different on several occasions.’s not necessarily a mind game, it may be that he just isn’t sure. we’ve been talking non-stop, and his friends all know about it every time we hang out. i’ve heard that means a guy wants the company of a girl but at the same time wants his distance.’s always asking me about my life or stories from my past. i told him i had a one night stand in another country with some guy i met while traveling, no big deal, i thought, but i told him because he wanted to know if i was with anyone while he had been gone. you kindly for taking the time to reply – and spot on! i met a guy first semester of my freshman year in college. don’t focus on the sex, focus on the friendship or attachment.’s all in the early stages and i want to play my cards right… so i intend to not sleep with him until i know he’s not seeing anybody else or we have a dtr talk. i return to my guy and he asks me ‘so did you get his number?, there are a couple of things here that worry me.  so he misses me, we are exclusive, he texts me everyday (i never text first) and / or phones me…. i eventully dumped my bf and told him that asked if he still want be with me had suppose be meeting him that weekend as i had told him that planned to end it with bf which i did but then he said he was busy and said he had went to ireland on wesday was gonna be back on monday away as needed a break suppsely family problems was getting to him but did not tell me what so i left few msgs then did not heard much back until friday night had asked if i wanted meet him the next day near where i live and if wanted to be with him then that was fine so i said i did and went meet him went for a walk hold my hand and had kiss but ended up went back to his house spent weekend there sat watch tv offered to buy me food for dinner but did not know what wanted so got an takeaway things seemed fine watched tv ended up in bed still kissed and hugged me but mostly i had do it first said i should go home on fri night late on as i had not told my mum about us know i was seeing someone but thought it was an friendship i did not like the idea and i felt like he was trying get rid of me so then on saturday i was in bad mood asked me what was up said nothing then kept asking said i had wanted to stay said it made sense to go home and tell mum and that he would try see me next weekend so we went for a walk and then i was suppose to go home but could see i was still mad so end up he said i could stay though was like i don’t know if got enough food for us both(was near a shopping centre and i know he had some food in it) but he said ok can stay and went and got some food though he seemed abit less affectionate but still was some affection but he kept txting said was woman friends but it was annoying as was most of night until later on he turned off phone went to bed hugged into him watched tv went to sleep odd kiss hug etc so then on sunday i was still abit mad as did not say anything about the txts though could see i was mad kept asking what was wrong said nothing eventully gave up and did not kiss or hug me until i kissed him so went out for a walk then pretty eary he said i should go home coz of buses and such gave me an hug and kisses before i got on train said see me later though still don’t txt me unless i txt him speak mostly on msn i have asked him if he thinks moved to fast or what he thinks about me says that ive to stop worrying we don’t really talk about much but when together he will make jokes and tease me very touchy feely in public but never really said he liked me or said i look good or such asks odd time how iam, what been up to though since sunday not been on msn much as he says he has family thing to sort out and could take all week txt him a few times txted bk but never txts me first or never has called me sorry for long msg but basically do you think this guy is interested in me or just after sex ? he asked about my past too, and if i had similar experience with a cheater. the past month and after getting over that huge hurdle, it seems like he is starting to slowly come around. he’s my fb friend and although he seems alpha, there’s a sensitive side to him and his party photos aren’t littered with women hovering all around him. that leaves you with taking a “wait and see” approach, or giving him more time. he admitted he was a little tipsy, but not much and said that he liked that i was sober (we used to hook up sober and drunk). caring enough to write something like this speaks volumes for my interest. is it too soon to tell him i’m falling for him? anyway when he left all was fine etc……that was early hours sunday morning, i’ve not heard from him since execpt once, i text him and he replied saying he’d love to be with me (sexual conatation). he sat next to me and held my hand under his leg and was hugging me and teasing me in front of them. , he was there too and we by chance we able to talk and he hugged me when he saw me and kept purposely running into me. i've seen the way he looks at me, but i dont understand? now i don’t know when am i going to see him because he didn’t mention anything. we’ve met on another birthday the following week and he seemed really ‘friendly’ (even flirty, i guess). he said since he can not ask somebody to follow him, he does not want to get romantic as it would hurt him. i think he’s made it very clear that he does not want a relationship, which puts you on the same page. then he told a guy in his house he could ask me out, but told me not to go. i don’t know why things went wrong between you, but is this someone you respect and want to be in a relationship with? it is confusing because before i gave into hanging out with him, as more than friends, it was always him texting me asking to hang out. i moved back having left my husband and he was there for me as a friend. i guess i didn't know what i was signing up for, because it became very obvious that he came over to have sex, which we did. i don’t consider myself the normal everyday kind of girl and i have always found it hard to find someone who really understands me. then came my birthday and she ended up staying after the small party i threw and we had sex. how can he possibly know now whether he will want to commit or not…for some reason i have this idea that the more time we spend together, the more he will like me and he will magically end up falling for me. that’s a total waste for you when you are in your prime! another thing that really bothers me is that he doesnt like having emotional discussion with me. if you were the one to break the engagement, this is truly cruel on your part. i sensed that he was happy to see me and at least still attracted. every time we go out in public he holds my hands, kisses my forehead or lips, displays affectionate gestures, and doesn’t have wondering eyes. he then said that he was a loser and going nowhere with his life and that i deserve someone better than him. may be too early to ask him if you’re “the one” but if you’re having sex it is certainly not too early to ask, “how do you see me? the first day i met him there, he kept staring at me in an infatuated way, which was weird i thought.  i want to believe he’ll text me back, but something says that he probably won’t.-in front of my friends from work (one is a mutual friend), he hides his affection.  i do really like him and think we would be great in a relationship but we do need to make a little more time for each other and at least be able to go out occasionally. after a few days, i kind of wanted to see him , cause i fell for him and been falling. spent all day with him and her and then ate with my family. again i’d like to say before, during, and after the intimate time, we still had a full on conversation catching up and he was still asking me questions and questions still wanting to know more about me. he has had a few “friends with benefits” and never ended up falling for any of them, even though they fell for him. i met with no response, so why’d he ask me then? there’s no reason he can’t have a girlfriend and still have his guy time. but i live with a strict father so the only time i get to see the guy is when i’m at home along and i can walk to his house and hangout with him. after bath-time we all pile up in bed, watch a movie, and fall asleep. he mocks me and i do the same with him very often. his “girlfriend” is the same girl that he dated in college broke up with every other day and now she lives in europe (we live in the us). anyway, within the following week, i invited him twice to some events, but he had excuses, then he went for travelling for work again for 10days, did not really initiated any contact but just replied to my very few messages.. i just need more time and i want to take things slowly with you. if he is into hook ups, and has done so in the past, why am i any different? two weeks ago we were at a halloween party and my friends and i invited him to come and hang out with us, which he agreed to. i know sporadically through the years he has asked me things like “would i relocate/leave my area? what was suppose to be just an “eh whatever” situation, i now find myself thinking about him daily.. he told me held feelings for me since the first year of college. he just never texts me anymore unless i text him first and then it isn’t a long convo. i would put it on hold and risk this opportunity if it was more clear this is heading towards something more. this is highly unprofessional, and you could be legally liable for sexual harrassment. and how can i tell him about my concerns without seeming like i’m blaming him, or scaring him off? i said no several times and he kept asking why until i finally told him i had had a bad experience with another guy in our building (whom he knows). i broke up with my boyfriend of two years 2 months ago. my mind says no but my heart and soul tell me there’s something in this still. susan and everyone,i have been reading this page for a while to help myself and finally decided to write.  does he want me to say, actually i really have developed some feelings for you and want to see if we are good together or does he want me to end it.  normally, i find myself making excuses for the guys i like, but i want to see this situation for what it is. and he kept saying that a girl was trying to get him to take her to his place but he told me he said no, he had to see “his girl. when we went to sleep he spooned me and was holding one of my hands. you affectionate names and referring to a future time when you might be dating is not a commitment. he may find you attractive, but that doesn’t mean he wants to pursue a relationship. he is affectionate- kisses me hello, holds my hand, calls me hun and baby. so since he lives in another city far from mine, after i came back home i invited him to come for a visit as he did.  it seems to me its going further than just fb relationship. forgot to say, that conversation ended with him saying that if that was the case (me being flexible…) he wanted to continue seeing me and see how things would go. so another guy got involved we was just talking from hereand there and my crush had found out. he made me feel like he really likes me and he knows i like him and i don’t understand why he is acting the way he is. i realized then that i don’t want to be that girl who gives years to a guy who decides late that she isn’t the right girl for him and leaves her and finds someone else. one of the guys in particular kept looking at me and smiling and when i went to the bathroom he said something to me but i didn’t hear him or respond due to the fact that there was a female with them. months after that, i wanted to apologize to him, whether he would care or not, just wanted to get it out of my system to move on so first i wrote to him asking him how he was doing and he responded that he was doing well and all that, so i then sent an apology for what had happend before and he never responded back, so i figured either he didn’t care or i hurt him, not really sure. do not meet during the day, due to our schedules not matching up. should i ask him by email because it s not easy for me to ask on phone. later that night, when he was drunk at bars, he said he didn’t know what to say, but he was sitting rereading it drunk and he would text me the next day. but i am really falling for this guy and i don’t know if he is too or just wanting to a permanent hook up here. 8 months ago i started working (non-official capacity) in a law enforcement agency in a large metro area which i enjoyed immensely. thats what i got based on what you said) means he waited quite a bit to hook up with you – so obviously he invested time and thought you were a real prospect if hes going to wait that long. couldn’t explain it but just something about him somehow got me attracted to him. i understand if you don’t want to ask too early, but i figure if you hook up early, it’s fair to ask how he sees it. the survey looked at over 2,000 adults and found that the majority of young adults out there are super confused as to whether they’re actually on a date… or just casually hanging out with someone they like. anyway, we mutually decided to meet up for a few beers and just chat/get to know one another. i also told him i was confused because he didn’t want me with anyone else and he could get that ‘jealous’ tone if there was any guy and how he kept in contact with me all these years and i didn’t know what that means and i felt like i deserve to know something because of that. yes, american men can be inconsiderate, and your response should be to tell him that is not acceptable, and that he may never do it again. during my first time 3 weeks prior to meeting this girl. to add, he told me i’m everything he likes in a woman and called me beautiful. i think that in view of the way things have developed, he could not expect me not to want to be exclusive and, as he said, “it comes with the territory.“now i dont know how to take it back… im not sure i want a boyfriend but i want him to know not to be afraid to tell me if he likes me. he was a life guard at my pool at that time. isn’t it supposed to be a process or am i just fooling myself into believing something might still happen with this guy? i have no idea what hes doing with me – when we hang out i have seen other women openly gape at him. guess is that he is enjoying your company and wanting to spend time with you but might balk if pressed for a commitment.

SparkLife » QUIZ: How Would Jane Austen Describe Your Love Life?

and i’ve even have a very close, well-trusted and well-seasoned guy friend tell me that a man will not pursue a woman for more than a few short months if he is not genuinely interested. but several other friends’ comments have made me wonder if we are actually meant to be together, due simply to the fact that we’ve carried on for so long.: haha i guess we are both not good at the texting thing but im glad we are both on the same page on the last bit 🙂. he tells me that sex isn’t the only reason he likes me, and thinks i’m a good person. however, i am not always comfortable with him paying non stop, so i insist doing it myself sometimes. he has made it clear that he only wants to have sex with me, and he expects the same from me.:” (he had said something about me trying smoking & him* trying drinking prior to this night)”. his teenage kid sometimes lives with him, sometimes w/ the ex. he would pop up into my work occasionally over these weeks that we were talking (he never came into my work before the first time i met him) we had made plans that the next weekend that our children were with our exes we would spend the weekend together. so i didnt hear from him over the whole summer saw him a few times around the neighborhoods but that was it. tell him how you feel and see if he feels the same way. you’re fwb, which is zero strings, and you’re still very young and live at home. he’s been single as long as i’ve known him (3 years), we have amazing sex and he easily gets upset if i cannot come to see him.. but i’m really at lost here, and i don’t know what to do :'( please help me it sucks. hasn’t made a move yet, no kissing or even holding my hands, nothing sexual… so im starting to feel insecure… im not sure if it is that he is been respectful and wants to take things slow or that he doesn’t like me. he seemed then, and every other time we hung out, was that he truly wanted to get to know me. but i am begginning to fall for him and i want to see if we are on the same page. he came over to me the next night after that happened and it looked so bad. susan 🙂 okay so i’ve met this guy recently and i took his virginity and he keeps saying ”how special it was to him and he’s glad he lost it to me” he said he also had butterflies when we spent the day together and mentioned how he wants to see me all the time” oh and he had to go home one night for some family occasion and he said ”i dont want to go. i walked by and he tried stopping me and asking if i was mad.. i think that’s a good sign because i met them and he says they both really liked me. so on friday i take her out to dinner and then we meet up with our friends and the whole night we are affectionately kissing and feeling each other and at one point she started rubbing my dick through my pants. if he had real feelings, he would not have been eager to go hook up with other people, even if you were the one who suggested it. my friends told me to let it go and/or just follow my heart but not to listen to anyone, just myself. reminds me… every time we’re at a party, the whole night his eyes are on me, and they oddly appear as if they’re smiling. while i can say that my life is better since a.” i tried to pursue the topic further by asking why he cares about my happiness all of a sudden, nothing seemed to stop him from meeting other girls just two months ago. although, he said,”it’s not that he wouldn’t think of me as a gf or w/e. when he left on friday he knew i would be away all this week and asked me if i was able to be online and talk to him when i’m gone. he is an artist and told me about his website etc, then i added him to facebook, then he started writing to me, all very nice and lovely stuff, he told he wanted to meet for a coffee which we couldn’t do as he was travelling a lot at the time. i regularly counsel women in their early 20s to go at least 5 years up to find a guy who is mature enough to be contemplating settling down.) should i just flat-out ask him, or do i have to get my head on straight first? i agreed being as i myself had just gotten out of a long term relationship. you have feelings for him, so any time you spend in a dead end relationship is bad for you. first “date” consisted of me going to his house and he made me soup. we even slept in the same bed and his mom asked if he wanted the couch, he told her no he wanted to sleep in the bed with me. he took me to dinner and invited me over for movies, and we basically had sex on the 5th day ( i made the first move). and apparently he 'endured' lots of friendly male banter once the others realized he had a fancy for me…. would he not want to define the relationship if i meant something more to him than just a companion and someone to kill time with? i understood and we hooked up but at the same time it didn’t feel like just a hook up. just can’t see falling for a woman who’d fuck for three years a guy she shows no inclination for more with. he came over again this weekend, all was great, we had great sex, mammoth deep chats etc. it doesn't matter that it didn't last with her – the point is that he would not make that commitment to you. he has kept his promise of contacting me and hanging out sober, but to the least degree possible. i also think it’s a bit rude to mention other guys trying to date her while on a date with you. he never pressured me into having sex, but we did anyway under my request (i wasn’t used to waiting after being in a long term relationship). if going on dates is something you want in your relationship then you should be concerned about it for sure. he gets upset still though if i go out with friends or if he finds out another guy is interested in me. i am a 22 year old female, and a couple of nights ago i hooked up with an old friend that i have not seen in almost 4 years. i’m sure he is eager to get some sexual experience, but you are correct to be suspicious of his motives. a guy who is reluctant to be someone’s boyfriend is not right for you. know he likes me but how can i tell if wants me for something serious or just fling? after he came back, i didn’t hear from him much because i had a feeling he was going to be leaving soon for his job out of the country and maybe that he didn’t want me to get attached/him to get my hopes up, but then all of a sudden i was hearing from him everyday. he has clearly expended considerable time, energy and resources on you, so i can’t imagine you are truly getting played. i didn’t offer because i wanted him for myself by any means no. and since i’m so insecure on this subject i’ve never felt he was really into me but strangely, now sometimes, i can feel his interest – i’ve noticed he seems more attentive and i catch him staring at me more frequently.. having the strength of not needing to meddle, or pull on anyone's sleeves, trying to push the river.  we chatted for a long time about all of this, i think i mucked up a couple of times but hey we can only say what we do/don’t feel. my gut has been right well over 95% of the time in my life, and i just can’t help but get the feeling this thing was over before it even started. the first night that we hung out, i implied that i wanted something with no strings attached. he really didnt know that i liked him but i never caught on that he liked me but then all of a sudden i noticed liked him but it was too late. this was my 2nd time ever having sex and i seem to have a very unusual problem. i did talk with him a few months ago and he talked to me like everything was fine and he wanted to joke with me about something we used to tease eachother about. sometimes it seems as if were heading towards a relationship then other times it seems as if we are what we are.  we chatted about work etc, i said i’d been really busy, had a dinner meeting with a guy, got the contract signed etc and was really pleased……. we normally stay at my house, but we sometimes go out to have dinner. im really sorry for the mixed messages, and i dont want to hurt you. i don’t think he drove down for another reason because his brother ended up going to visit his family for the holidays a few days after that so i took it that the main reason he came down was for me. i know you don’t want to waste your time, but it sounds like he needs more time, and that’s not surprising after only three weeks. we came back to my place and fooled around some more…i guess my dilemma is that even though i didn’t know it at the time, i can’t keep my emotions out of it. in any case, you should ask him why he is calling you a friend at the same time he is seeking sex. advice would be greatly appreciated, as this is my first time being in a situation like this. he doesn’t text or chat me, but when we see each other out in public he’ll acknowledge me, give me a hug and talk for a bit. i just can’t decide whether in his head he regards me as a seriously potential mate, minus the marriage and kids, neither one of us see these variables in our future. yet, when he meet up at each others house to hook up he cuddles me constantly, tells me things like how his never been so comfortable with any one like this, strokes my hair, hugs me close when we fall asleep together and he doesnt hook up with any one else but me. when i was leaving his house, he asked me if i wanted to leave some of my things there, so next time i wouldnt have to pack so much. am so proud of myself for fighting the urge to text him so far, because maybe these things just take patience. i also told him i was confused because he didn’t want me with anyone else and he could get that ‘jealous’ tone if there was any guy and how he kept in contact with me all these years and i didn’t know what that means and i felt like i deserve to know something because of that. generally speaking, women see marriage as a social proof enterprise, a demonstration of their successful hypergamy (“i’ve been chosen!), does not seem to care much about learning what things i like, does not seem to want to see me more than once per week, has never complimented me, and his profile is still on the online site (mine is as well…). i give him advice and he listens and offers me with just that. anyway, about a week later he decided to call me. i told him that guy friend was coming and staying with me ahead of time., my name is karen and i’m from misissipi and i just wanted to tell you i absolutely love your hookinkupsmart webstie! kind of talked off and on since then because we were both busy with end of school/finals and such and somehow we got to talking and agreed we would take it a step further and hook up. it got my attention and reminded me of how it used to be. his response: that i like you as a person and love spending time with you but i am not in love with you. finally, i had to go and while he was walking me out, he turned and asked me “where are we? i asked him several times if this is what he wanted and he said yes. all his friends know this about him, he is far worse than the average guy in that department. he’s more than just a hook-up, but not a boyfriend. but we were hanging out too much, too soon, multiple times a week. i guess what i’m wondering is, if he’s just in it for the hookup or how to realize if he wants more. we havent been hooking up for long at all and im fine with the hooking up its fun for both of us. but that doesn't work so well for you – maybe he'll come around later, but for now i would definitely let it go. he could have just done that so he didn’t seem like an ass in front of me. but i wonder if he has feelings, misses me etc. i dont want to invest in him emotionally, but at the same time, he is definitely someone i would consider being a part of my life in the future, he has all of the qualities im looking for in a man. you already know he will commit to someone he is really into, so if he won't by your boyfriend, then…. i just get somewhat offended when he does not answer, as it feels disrespecful, but i can clearly see he wants to rule the pace, perphaps to really get the idea whether this is worth or not rather than jumping into it. but we continued to sleep together, and i guess i can't blame him because i okayed it. american men often confuse the heck out of me, but i can't see myself taking intercontinental flights just so i have a lovely relationship with a suitable man.“so now i feel like i’ve had my heart cut up into pieces, although technically i am not in love with him…”. he held my hand the rest of the night and brought me back to his dorm again where we did everything but have sex, he didn’t even seem to be trying for it and was very sweet about everything and kissed me a lot.. should i feel guilty for hooking up last night, i have never talked about exclusiveness with this girl, but do i owe her an explanation/ should i tell her? it sounds like you are falling for him, so you need to know asap if he feels the same way.“once after a fight he said that it hurts, cause probably he has feelings for me. i had met her once or twice before (very briefly) through a mutual friend a few years back. a month ago he asked me if i wanted to be “friends with benefits” i told him i didn’t want if it wasn’t going to mean anything more than that to him.’m a guy and most of this sounds like total bs to me. when he was walking me to get a taxi, he finally kissed me (it was my very first kiss), it was really passionate and it went on for a long time (i’d never thought i’d be willing to engage in a somewhat intense pda – to be honest, i was really happy, i didn’t even realise where we were at some point).  i still don’t know what he is doing though, all these mixed signals are really confusing me and actually beiginning to annoy me. so i explained to him about my past relationship and that i didn’t think i was ready and he totally understood and we left it in the past. have stumbled up on this post and these comments in the middle of the night in the midst of a time of great personal turmoil…i found myself hoping there were recent posts and i could ask for a little advice and sure enough 🙂i am 24 and just broke up with my ex-fiance of four years. my partial problem is, i feel like most of the time, it has been me initiating a hangout session.  maybe this is just me but i also feel that when you both orgasm together there is something deeper involved than just “lets fuck and get our rocks off together” but like i said that could just be my way of thinking. am 23 and am currently seeing a man 10 years my senior. he brings and leaves stuff at my apartment…my problem is i’m too afraid to tell him how i feel. he replied that he didn’t want to think about it because he didn’t want me to leave, then asked what i thought. one week we'll be at a party and he'll show interest in me, talk to me a lot, have his arm around me infront of everyone, ask me to stay over. and i feel like i know the answer, but he has mentioned hanging out in the daytime three times, although not concretely, and his actions and words didn’t seem like someone not interested in more than sex (eg holding hands and eye contact during). he does not call often as he is busy and is very independent, but call every 2-3 days and clearly says he enjoys being with me and want to keep dating. he still doesn’t talk to me as much as before (neither do i). but he has said that he doesn’t “care” about me. if she was looking for a hookup, and you acted like a potential bf, that would explain her diminished interest. we’re mostly just having sex, but he invited me over earlier, had food together, hung out etc (and obviously sex as well). i've like about your comments – the ones i've read this far – that they are not 'formula responses'. its like he helped me free myself from one tyrant, only to capture me in his invisible, but no less painful and restrictive cage. however, it he has already started seeing someone else i would definitely consider it over. once shared with me that he feels i'm quite a good match for me (because just before he discovered that i like to do some outdoor excursion that he enjoys very much too but has never found a woman who shared that passion) … but also that it feels so intense for him being with me that he tries to slow it by not seeing me. he tells me he misses me and little stuff like that and no he doesnt come and see me because the job he has he works 7 days a week. so about a month and a half ago i met this kid at work who is honestly my perfect match. but isn’t that the moment when you don’t care what others think anymore, and you say how you really feel? i am too much of a chicken to tell him flat-out to stop chasing me, because he is rather sensitive to criticism.  if you sleep with a guy before you really get to know each other then that is all he will be looking forward to is my belief. that killed my mood in particular about him, before the past even came back into the picture. he finally brought up his family to me for the first time the last time i saw him, which he has never done that before (i loves his family dearly and are very close). when he’s being super intimate, comment that he’s acting like a lot more than a fuckbuddy and see what he says. i still like him, but i’m not sure if i should talk to him again or if i was really just a one time thing for him.  i know this contradicts my first post a bit but whilst having the chat i realised i would rather keep it as it is for the time being than not have him and that now we have given it the fb lable i could remove my feelings from the equation……but i am not sure that he can, which is exactly where i was in the beginning, he seemed so dejected, he was joking and fooling around about it – laughing etc like he was really hurt and even said i am going home now to feel shit about this. there’s this guy that i have liked for a long time and he never really liked me back. at the start of july on a night out (we hang out at the same places so we always bump in to each other), i threw caution to the wind and tried to kiss him. as a freshman, you’re already pulling girls so you will probably do well in the hookup scene. occasionally though he would initiate physical contact with me like touch my arm or back and displayed all the signs of liking me. don’t really know because he never told me about [email protected] he also asked me if i would like to have a 3 some with his hot roomate. so that kind of leads me to believe that he’s interested in the “hook-up” more than anything. one of my roomates has a fwb situation, and she thinks he likes her. contact between us was way more strained and awkward, but we hung out a couple times in the month following the breakup. he cuddles a lot in bed, to the point that he is always touching me. when i tried to end things he called me 15 or more times till i picked up crying saying he couldnt be without me in his life and that if i stop talking to him he will never be even friends with me and cut me off because thats the only way he could get over me. after a few times of hanging out (like 4) i noticed that he was holding my hand in public and putting his arm around me in public. he told me he liked me, and everything was fine. asked me if i’d flashed my breasts at him…. either hit it and quit it or leave me alone. and suddenly he emailed me on fb and told le to text him. the fact you’re turned upside about this tells me you very much do want a romance with this guy, you can call that “rushing into something” or whatever but you don’t have to rationalize that you don’t want to “rush. when they accuse him of hooking up with another girl he explains to me that thats not what happened, that he didnt do that. ive been running a google search on ‘how to tell if your fwb/hookup is into you’ and voraciously trying to find some kind of relevant commentary on my situation 🙁 i noticed in the comments that you have been so generous to assess personal issues, and so i was hoping you could help me out with a current issue im facing- i would appreciate any and all help, thank you! they said yeah he suppose to be with her (they told me who she was) but he didnt claim her.  am i that daft, have i been played or is there more to this than meets the eye.” the answer is simple – men typically don’t think “wow this woman is great, she’s so great i should marry her. in general, it’s not helpful to hook up with people who are in love with someone else. if you have a date for wednesday, he will likely be in touch monday or tuesday to confirm and make arrangements.

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