Male opinions on dating a rape victim

What I Learned From Dating Women Who Have Been Raped

although he did not rape me (somehow, i managed to stop him before it happened), i have had a really hard time even trusting men since. tears in my eyes, i turned to them and said, “could y’all not joke about rape?, red pillers, no one is telling you that you are obligated to date rape survivors — or, for that matter, cancer patients, or billy joel fans, or indeed anyone in any particular category that human beings fall into. may also lose interest in sex for a while due to the rape., if you expect a man to be willing to date a rape victim because “it wasn’t her fault,” then you should be willing to date a pedophile because “it isn’t his fault. if you haven't dated a rape victim yet, you likely will., if you expect a man to be willing to date a rape victim because “it wasn’t her fault,” then you should be willing to date a pedophile because “it isn’t his fault. especially since i’m a rape victim who was victimized by a pedophile. i guess she ran out and told them i raped her.

Why You Should Avoid Dating Girls Who Claim They Were Raped

@rosa: there are puas and the like who would advocate for dating rape victims or other women who are suffering through trauma because they’re easily manipulated, i imagine., it’s hard sometimes to date someone who has been raped, and yes, it’s hard sometimes to date someone who is mentally ill, either because of being raped, or having it develop by other means or traumas.'s important to understand that while you may feel that your support isn't enough, indeed your support of the rape victim is appreciated even if she can't always express it. rapists aren't hiding in the bushes: around two-thirds of rapes are committed by someone known to the victim, and 73 percent of sexual assaults are perpetrated by a non-stranger. but i feel i have to say something because jokes like these perpetuate rape culture and make rape seem mundane. said, there’s no question that rape (or any kind of sexual abuse) can be extremely traumatic, with far-reaching and long-lasting consequences. if you have a partner who was raped, and then replace them with a pedophile, you’re not going to get the same person. i agree, you have to pick carefully who and what you are about to tell…when i started doing karate, the gf of one of my sparring partners told me a story about how she was raped in her college dorm room when she was sick by an acquaintance of her roommate…. being attracted to someone who has been victimised but has never themselves victimised is very different than knowingly finding a pedophile attractive.

male opinions on dating a rape victim

Male opinions on dating a rape victim +Would you date a person if you knew he/she were a rape victim?

Rapists Explain Themselves on Reddit, and We Should Listen

a survivor of childhood rape, who suffers from ptsd, this made me feel a variety of emotions, anger, sadness and weirdly smugness. culture is unable to address rape with the sobriety and clarity the topic deserves because we are still unable to address sex with the sobriety and clarity it deserves. comments on "7 pitfalls to avoid when dating a sexual assault survivor". you may have thoughts that the victim is "dirty" or "contaminated. supporting a rape victim can be challenging but it is worth it to know that you are helping someone who has gone through something so unthinkable. "in other words: yeah, yeah, enough about rape victims, let's hear from the real victims here: the poor menz," shit reddit says lamented." insisting that no rape is ever "about" sex but is rather about an individual man acting on a patriarchal mandate to sow terror by exercising "power" does a disservice to us all. charlotte shane put it well in a recent essay for the new inquiry on moving past rape by being able to talk about it in non-victimizing terms:. remember that while supporting a rape victim, it's also important to care for yourself too.

Red Pill Redditor: Dating a rape victim is like dating a pedophile

my sexual assault and after my rape, I was fortunate to have some good friends and family members who stuck by my side through the tears and. dating a rape victim can seem daunting, it's worth remembering that in the united states someone is sexually assaulted every two minutes. little experience with comedians was nothing compared to the women who stood up to daniel tosh or lindy west who went on national television to debate with a comedian about rape culture and comedy, but i did feel a tiny tinge of pride in saying something.: rape victim stories: real stories of being raped~ all articles on rape~ all articles on abuse. a rape victim can bring about many feelings in you as well as your partner. but you shouldn't dismiss the thread as mere rape apologia. remember reading it aloud to make fun of it, but was stunned when i got to the notorious rape passage. one of the papers he cites, actually looking at the effects of childhood sexual abuse rather than rape per se, reports that, contrary to the poster’s claims,There is insufficient evidence to confirm a relation between a history of childhood sexual abuse and a postsexual abuse syndrome and multiple or borderline personality disorder. i don't doubt she feels molested and i feel like an awful person but it wasn't rape as snuggleswithruggles pointed out it was rape.

7 Pitfalls to Avoid When Dating a Sexual Assault Survivor -

part of supporting a rape victim is not trying to rush them and understanding that they will heal in their own time. as in, actually look for rape victims and try and date them because of it? otherwise, anti-rape campaigns will continue to tell victims to dress and act differently as a matter of "prevention," college campuses will continue to report high rates of sexual assault, and people will continue to take advantage of others without even looking them in the eye while doing so. think it’s less about projection (though i imagine that’s some of it), and more about their own sexist views of rape with the whole “we don’t give a shit about male rape victims until we can use them to make a point” thing. stories end with redditors expressing how horrible they feel about what happened:i have never in my life felt as shitty and depressed as when she told me that she felt what happened was rape. particularly if you’re dating, you should be thinking about what to reveal and when and the responsibility rests solely on you to make the right call. you are already brave and resilient, and i hope your dating journey is rewarding, fun, and results in someone who deserves to be with you!'s not hard to see why some people would dismiss this thread as a circle jerk of rape apologists, especially because some quality redditors assured the storytellers that "it's not your fault. if you have your doubts or questions, please don't share them with the victim.

What I Learned From Dating Women Who Have Been Raped

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How Not To Be A Dick To A Rape Survivor

the rape victim is considering suicide, get them help immediately and check in with them frequently., of course it isn’t a rape victim’s fault that they were raped, but that still doesn’t mean that it is a good idea to date a rape victim. i looked, rape survivors generally didn’t go around raping children. as activist and writer wendy mcelroy points out, "there can be as many motives for rape as there are for murder and other violent crimes … rape is every bit as complex. can’t decide what’s grossest: the op’s gaslighty aspersions on the mental state of rape victims (the same tactic rapists use to nullify their victims’ testimony and silence them), the idea that rape survivors are damaged goods and therefore undateable, or the way redpillers always respond to “hey, women who are xyz are equally worthwhile and valuable and let’s be mindful of their struggles” with feminazis are trying to force us to have sex with xyzs. think it’s less about projection (though i imagine that’s some of it), and more about their own sexist views of rape with the whole “we don’t give a shit about male rape victims until we can use them to make a point” thing. the national sexual assault hotline 1-800-656-hope for information on professional help for the rape victim and those around her. the red piller advancing this, er, argument tries to explain in more detail what exactly he means:Rape victims often develop a variety of serious psychological issues, including depression, borderline personality disorder (aka borderline insanity disorder), self-harm, alcohol and/or drug addiction, and ptsd. it is so important that you do show support for victims.

How to Support a Rape Victim – For Men and Women - Rape

(the gender "she" is used in this article for the victim, however, this is not always the case. the rape victim to report the crime but understand it is ultimately her decision., if your first thought upon hearing that someone us a rape survivor is to think “ick, she’s probably all messed up,” guess what?  |    share hide replies ∧survivors news and reviews » blog archive » this week’s links (weekly)4 years 7 months ago[…] 7 pitfalls to avoid when dating a sexual assault survivor […]."advertisementgiven the disturbingly high amount of men's rights activists and rape apologist redditors — a recent reddit thread counted the many, many ways the site is "anti-women" — it's easy to see why some would be skeptical about the possibility for productive discussion. / featured content / 7 pitfalls to avoid when dating a sexual assault survivor. is there any group of people saying that people should date rape victims? to categorize it as "legitimate," "forcible," “gray rape” or "rape rape" doesn't do any favors either. appreciate it that those red pillers don’t date rape victims.

Date Rape's Other Victim -

have male friends who struggle with their identity as a survivor because of the added stigma that comes with being a male victim. the rape victim by going with her to medical or legal appointments (see rape law: what are the laws against rape?"he's right — not about the "be careful" victim-blaming, but about his multifaceted identity. in fact, many who were victimized as children do not start uncovering and processing memories until they are adults.'s incredibly painful to watch a person you love go through a trauma like rape and you might not know how to support a rape victim. victim may lose interest in sex or in certain sexual activities for a while. keep his or her confidence, even if you don’t continue dating. it's important not to judge the rape victim and to listen to her and let her know that you are there for support. if you decide you don’t like the person enough to continue dating them, call them.

My own rape shows how much we get wrong about these attacks

some of them are tough to read, but their brutal honesty illustrates how a lack of communication and education perpetuates rape culture. too bad the deterrent he used was that a rape victim might not have a chance to date someone like him., people don't let rape happen to them, the rapist makes it happen. it is my…read more readnothing will change if we discuss rape culture in a vacuum.  |    share hide replies ∧sex in san diego: 7 pitfalls to avoid when dating a sexual assault survivor4 years 6 months ago[…] by sarah beaulieu / the good men project […].. don't forget that men can be rape victims and women can be rapists. my sexual assault and after my rape, i was fortunate to have some good friends and family members who stuck by my side through the tears and dark times. the contention that rape should be regarded as an asexual act has done nothing to remedy this. again, this is not a reflection on you, only on the rape.

At colleges plagued with date rape, why 'no' still means 'yes

the police officer who i reported the rape to asking me if i was just trying to get back at an ex boyfriend.’d find it easier to agree that “dating a rapist is like dating a pedophile,” because in both cases you’re talking about somebody who doesn’t respect boundaries (to put it mildly). i tried to train a man i knew away from bringing up women’s rapes from the past."but it's impossible to talk about the reasons people rape without involving rapists in the discussion. can be hard to know how to support a rape victim but supporting a rape victim is possible with these tips in mind. like how the rape victim is a “she” and the pedophile is a “he”. But you shouldn't dismiss the thread as mere rape apologia. short, a rape can affect both you and your partner significantly, but it is possible to get through those feelings with open lines of communication and possibly with the help of a professional. can’t help thinking that not having red pillers wanting to date you is one of those mysterious “rape rewards” they always go on about.

Rape of males - Wikipedia

when i started volunteering at the boston area rape crisis center as a medical advocate and then as a survivor speaker, i found ways to drop volunteer experiences into the conversation.)"let me leave you with this message, you never know who someone truly is, so be careful," said one man who posted a particularly disturbing account of how he used to repeatedly rape women. he led with his memory that a black woman we knew had been sexually violated twenty years in the past, perhaps by a white… read more »0  |    share hide replies ∧apprentissage masculin | pearltrees4 years 1 month ago[…] 7 pitfalls to avoid when dating a sexual assault survivor […]. all of the sources the poster cites as evidence for these claims about rape survivors are behind paywalls, but a quick scan of the abstracts suggest that he didn’t read them very carefully. to the rape, incest and abuse national network, these are other things you can do to support a rape victim:1. pill redditor: dating a rape victim is like dating a pedophile. i was assaulted, a friend said, "at least you weren't raped. we should not be so desperate to establish the seriousness of rape that we stigmatize intelligent discussion of it. it takes courage to articulate these ideas; many women stay mum about what has happened in their pasts for fear that their futures and present lives will be robbed of joy and pleasure and belonging and family if they are known to be victims.

'Men and boys get raped too' - Telegraph

first, of course, is the inherent offensiveness of suggesting there’s some sort of moral equivalency between pedophiles (potential if not necessarily actual predators) with rape survivors (people who have themselves been victimized by predators). <3<3<3" who will then turn around and suddenly act like the victim when you're dealing with a "bad" symptom, because they're fair-weather assholes. you may feel angry about the rape, overly protective of the victim and vengeance towards the rapist. every relationship has issues, and there is absolutely no evidence that rape survivors — or the survivors of any other serious trauma — are incapable of having healthy relationships. i was assaulted 7 years ago and it still has a huge effect on my dating life. wouldn’t expect a man to be willing to date a rape victim for the sole reason that it wasn’t her fault. i’d find it easier to agree that “dating a rapist is like dating a pedophile,” because in both cases you’re talking about somebody who doesn’t respect boundaries (to put it mildly). proposition being debated: “if you expect a man to date a rape victim, then you should be willing to date a pedophile. "reddit's had a few threads about sexual assault victims, but are there any redditors from the other side of the story?

Rapists Explain Themselves on Reddit, and We Should Listen

Men fall prey to date rape drug gangs | UK news | The Guardian

pill creeps absolutely shouldn’t be willing to date rape survivors.’s rights redditor: “we live in a cuckolding culture more than a rape culture” →. comparison is still better than comparing rape victims to pedophiles though. are many things you can do to support a rape victim. no matter what the victim was wearing (or not wearing), what he or she was doing, drinking, taking, sleeping, walking, partying, studying, whatever -- no one deserves to be raped. our places of refuge and help for victims are generally women's centers.’s rights redditor: “we live in a cuckolding culture more than a rape culture” →. i recommend rape, abuse and incest national network for information and pandora’s aquarium for support and networking for the both of you. here are some of the reasons why rapists said they raped or almost raped from the original thread.

Rape Culture, Victim Blaming, and The Facts

and keep in mind that it takes time for a rape victim to heal.: i suspect that he’s taken a common talking point for terpers (“never date a woman who says she’s been raped”) and gotten flack for it, so he’s pushing back against that., was this redditor gracing the internet with his mind grapes for this apropos of nothing? we campaign for awareness about sexual assault and rape, we often talk about women victims and male perpetrators. i was, i now realize, orally raped by a guy i thought was a friend. weekend in america's so-called 'rape capital'"it's the altitude," the sweaty, red-cheeked fraternity brother explains. but throughout my decade of dating, i picked up a few pointers when it comes to encountering a survivor of sexual violence on a date.“so, if you expect a man to be willing to date a rape victim because “it wasn’t her fault,” then you should be willing to date a pedophile because “it isn’t his fault. both men and women can be victims of rape and both men and women can be supports for the victim.

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