My hook up kissed me on the forehead

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    you need to know whether he feels the same way. he looks into my eyes, moves my hair from my face and sometimes even just strokes my hair with his hand. tell him that you think he could be a very important person in your life, and that you are willing to give him time., i have a situation that is driving me insane to figure out. to add, he told me i’m everything he likes in a woman and called me beautiful. and don’t wait forever – at some point he needs to go all in, or you’re just wasting your time. on the otherhand i can’t decide if i should bring it up to him how i feel about him or just wait for him to come to me. i moved away again and we kept in touch and hed ask me advice on a girl he liked and they eventually got together. i kept asking myself the same- i don’t know if i hurt/confused his feelings or he was a player who got impatient. you didn’t have to make a decision about the new job, i would encourage you to spend time together, getting to know one another and taking it slow. kinda gave me an explanation as to why he didnt want to have sex..he values his “guy time” and i think he doesnt want to be tied down but i wonder why this is still going on with us or what im supposed to think.’s always asking me about my life or stories from my past. need to have a sense of a man being actually thrilled about being with me and shows it.“but several other friends’ comments have made me wonder if we are actually meant to be together, due simply to the fact that we’ve carried on for so long. he’s been very sweet too with his messages, asking about work showing concern about whether i’ve had enough sleep or food. talk basically every day and i went out with him and every time i would see him talking to one of his friends (girl) i would walk up and he would instantly hug me and kiss me in front of everyone and say, “this is my ‘bestest’ friend”. there’s this guy that i have liked for a long time and he never really liked me back. he flirted with me on and off ans showed minor signs he liked me but i never caught cause really i didnt expect someone as popular as he was to like someone like me who was low key. been texting on and off since we both left our uni (we live far away from each other) and the conversation always moves towards whether im seeing anyone at home “so, any hot dates? first, let me say that you are thinking about this in exactly the right way. after that one serious conversation, the good signs he’s shown, and the short time we’ve been dating (7 weeks) i do not want to ask any more because it would feel pushy and i just want to let things flow and feel natural, but i get confused with some other signals and do not want to drive myself into falling hard for somebody who is not available… i’d appreciate your comments! we hit it off, started talking and exchanged numbers, a week after that he sends me a text message and from there we kept in touch. i am rather confused about the whole thing since i have the feeling he desires me sexually only. the things that got me worried were that we talked a lot about sex (he said that it showed attraction); and we did not hang out as much recently ( he said that because he always had to close in the weekend at 10:30 and when we did, there was not much to do), and that he wasn’t attentive enough since sometimes he didn’t text me for 2 days ( and he said that he was too busy with everything going on. i’ve typed too much already, but just to add… he really is so good to me. he toned himself down to make sure it wasn’t too much for me and didn’t put me last. it shows him that his wants and needs are more important than yours and will come first. his best friend invited me for his leaving dinner tomorrow, i won’t go as it wasn’t him that invited me and now i think i’m not the one for him, feeling quite unhappy and planning not to see him. he’s more than just a hook-up, but not a boyfriend., i feel like im getting really mixed messages from this guy. it sounds to me like you both talked a good game about keeping it 100% physical, but both have also caught feelings. i finally asked him when he was leaving the country and he told me next week he was going and it crushed me. so i told him if he ever needed to talk, to give me a call or text me and i’m an open ear. he may be content to continue on in this way as long as you’re both enjoying it, with zero commitment. met this guy 6 months ago, he and i constantly kept in touch every single day when i left the country and he told me towards the end how much he liked me, and ultimately one night texted me while drunk saying he was in love with me (we used to talk for hours every single day). i really don’t know if he feels anything for me. i wanted a serious relationship and he seemed like a player so i was acting/being very indecisive. five months is a long time to feel insecure about a relationship. he asked me to stay over and we cuddled the rest of the night and even into the morning. im loving and al this other stuff but for some reason when im singal this freind and i always hit it off. third date consisted of me going over to his house. hes extremely affectionate with me, and my roomates think hes very into me. but i am really falling for this guy and i don’t know if he is too or just wanting to a permanent hook up here. for valentine’s day, he came over and cooked me [email protected] i didn’t see your comment earlier – is your question still relevant? boy a and i talked a few times, and my boyfriend and i even ran into him at a concert once.” the answer is simple – men typically don’t think “wow this woman is great, she’s so great i should marry her. maybe he likes me but doesn't want a relationship right now or maybe he's hooking up with other girls, though i haven't seen him acting interested in other people.  he text me after he t to ask if i was ok and i said well, yes but you did upset me. then, he’s texted me about twice a week with random things, asking my opinion on his hair or an outfit, or telling me he had work early like me, etc. i return to my guy and he asks me ‘so did you get his number? so we went out on the balcony and he started kissing me, at which point i initiated a conversation that if he expected us to hook up he needed to contact me and hang out with me sober. i emailed him the next day apologizing and don’t know how i took it that way and asked him what he meant by “where are we? i’ve heard that means a guy wants the company of a girl but at the same time wants his distance. that night he finally kissed me and it just felt so wonderful. you’re fwb, which is zero strings, and you’re still very young and live at home. he visited that night and we kissed and i’ve been head over heels every since. we are still talking basically every day, even when im not in town for the weekend we talk on the phone at least once or twice and text also, we are hanging out during the week we went to happy hour one week with his friends and just him and i got food after, i brought him cupcakes for his birthday the other week and just the two of us hungout, on the weekends we will meet up to get food after going out (or sometimes we will go out together it just depends) and then i usually end up staying there and we have started having sex again. he asked what made him so different and i explained… he responded with “i like to have a connection as friends before sex comes into play… so that if anything more does or does not happen at least we have that base of friendship” he texted me the next day as if everything was normal…i am honestly so confused. but i’ve never brought him around, he’s never brought me around his circle and, while at first i wasn’t sure, now i know and consider him a companion. we are both very busy-he works full time, and i am a full time student. every time i would call him drunk and ask his feelings he said he still liked me, but it didn’t fall back together. i know he likes me a lot because he only dates girls he really cares about.“his response: that i like you as a person and love spending time with you but i am not in love with you. the guy i’m seeing says if i had more freedom he would love to date me but it’s hard because of this and i agree. when i asked him if we were on the same page he said he likes me alot and not to worry about anything. i didn’t offer because i wanted him for myself by any means no. he is somewhat of the frustrated artist as well which adds to the reclusive behavior.” he hates such talks, in any case, mentioned that he is quite perplexed and confused, because he did not expect things to progress the way they have. i've seen the way he looks at me, but i dont understand?. just about a month and a half ago my now ex boyfriend of 4 years left me for someone else. we did exchange some rather racey texts the day after we hooked up. comments really put me at ease and i feel more confident on what i need to do. next night we had a very intense two hour fool around session in which he told me he is not looking to be in a relationship and that he isn’t sure that i can keep my emotions seperate and that he doesn’t want to hurt me… i told him that i could just have fun and things have been progressing from there…since then we have been fooling around every now and again as well as having some sexually charged conversations via text message. unless he has specifically stated that he wants something different this time, i think you can assume he’s recycling the old deal. and i’ve even have a very close, well-trusted and well-seasoned guy friend tell me that a man will not pursue a woman for more than a few short months if he is not genuinely interested. i asked him if its because he just wants to hook up with other girls he said no he just wants to mingle. i could talk to him about anything and he could me. when he’s being super intimate, comment that he’s acting like a lot more than a fuckbuddy and see what he says. hasn’t made a move yet, no kissing or even holding my hands, nothing sexual… so im starting to feel insecure… im not sure if it is that he is been respectful and wants to take things slow or that he doesn’t like me. he told me straight that he has feelings for me and i told him i do too thus we decided to be exclusive. after he came back, i didn’t hear from him much because i had a feeling he was going to be leaving soon for his job out of the country and maybe that he didn’t want me to get attached/him to get my hopes up, but then all of a sudden i was hearing from him everyday. we did and were laughing and talking a lot until he asked if he could kiss me. assuming you’re young, say between 18 and 22, i would say it’s highly unlikely you’re going to flip a player for any period of time. being someone’s “fake girlfriend” doesn’t count, so don’t deceive yourself. he made me feel like he really likes me and he knows i like him and i don’t understand why he is acting the way he is. something happens where we didn’t hook up as much hug each other and all that. i also have a sinking feeling that i am going to fall flat on my face with this one…yet i can’t help myself, this is new and exciting and i feel like i have to see where it goes even if i don’t like the outcome…any thoughts you might have on my situation would be immensely helpful! we started hanging out, then thats when he started making out with me. he also is recently divorced, father of two, he raises his children also, and his ex has them on the same weekends as my ex. now he only just got out of a 1 and a half year relationship so i am extremely worried i may be his ‘rebound girl’. i remember i was holding onto him and i didn’t want to leave. you’re smart to go down about 5 years if you can – those women are so fed up with players and guys keeping their options open, they’ll jump at a chance to be with an older guy if they’re looking for a relationship. but i wonder if he has feelings, misses me etc.:– said “i don’t want to like you” and “you don’t want me to fall in love with you, do you? after 5 days of not saying anything, he sends me a text 11:30 tuesday night saying “hey stranger”this is how it went. why would he ask you to move after hanging out and hooking up for a week? i would be totally honest with him – let him know that it’s not personal, you’re still healing from your breakup, and it will take a long time to build trust. i said i didn’t want to hear his copouts with me because he is a good guy. i met this guy online we being talking for a couple of weeks so this sunday we went on the first date. he has told me that no other girl has come over to his place and he’s not the type to lie (there was a toothbrush at his place and i said i didn’t know who has used it). couldn’t explain it but just something about him somehow got me attracted to him. when we did he revealed to me that he had been thinking about me for the full 3 weeks and we made out again. like me, i know, but should i mention any of this or wait for him to and play it by ear? fast forward 3 years later and i heard that he has settled down with a new girlfriend and about a month ago i get a message from his sister who now works where i do and she said ‘by the way my brother says hello to you! once shared with me that he feels i'm quite a good match for me (because just before he discovered that i like to do some outdoor excursion that he enjoys very much too but has never found a woman who shared that passion) … but also that it feels so intense for him being with me that he tries to slow it by not seeing me. thanks for answering to my previous mssg, i love reading your messages! the circumstances, im hoping he’d decided what he wants and weighed out the options before even trying to get involved with me again. is this guy confused, screwed up, not into me, the two times he brings up the conversation about us he trys to see whats happening and if all is ok etc but we just go round in circles. one night we were making out and i got scared that he might think this is just a hook up. i sometimes hear about stories where things are going well then all of a sudden the guy starts acting weird because feelings start getting too intense. when we went to sleep he spooned me and was holding one of my hands. in some ways it sounds like you enjoyed it, but in the end you caught feelings anyway.. there’s something unfortunate (and perhaps unfair) that the person who feels more gets blamed. when i was pregnant we were still not hooking up or kissing or anything and even when i would spend the night there we would sleep on opposite sides and not cuddle or anything. his statement that he tries to slow down his feelings for you by not seeing you tells me that he does not want a committed relationship.,maybe if you hook up with him for another ten years he’ll think about making you his girlfriend. About seven months ago I met this guy on Craigslist and became, well,CHICAGO — You may call it love, but scientists call it philematology. little things such as taking time to get to know my friends and such prove this. theres this guy i met who lives on my floor at school, and he is in a few of my classes. the first night that we hung out, i implied that i wanted something with no strings attached. for a week again no contact, a few days ago we met again at an event (i know we are a bit sociable:), he was around me constantly, lots of questions etc, then i went to his place with him and few friends who also live with him, on our way he was holding my hand, hugging me, and at some point, one of our friends cheekyly said something like, “there is something special about you, he never changes his mind for me although i’m his best mate” when we were talking about his date of next work travel, i wanted him to leave a few days later so that he can come to an event with us:). that wednesday he asked me to sit with him at this all faith mass at my school, but he had to rush off right after bc he had a meeting (he is really busy, has two jobs) he didnt text me till friday at 7:00 asking “what r u doing tonight? he is in a funk due to his very recent unemployment.) he mentioned it again before he left, and was still being very sweet and kissed me goodnight. i met some members of his family and it was obvious he had talked to them about me. i mustered up the strength and asked him if we could progress and become official today and he said. anyways, so he started texting me a couple of weeks ago and we decided to get together since it had been so long.  prior to us getting together he had been chasing me for a good 6 months…. not even 10 minutes later he text-ed me he needed a cuddle buddy. and have been 2-3 timesa a week for the past 3 years. after that i will close comments and give instructions for contacting me. with that being said, i can personally identify myself in all subject areas 1-10…pretty much to the last detail even though its a general opinion it is very accurate and i can tell that you are extremely knowledgable in relationships. it took me a lot of time to let go of it… i dont want any drama and would like to keep it simple and sweet- im def not going to even kiss him right away because there was so much pressure from moving fast the first time and i got hurt. he made an effort to show me around his city. he then texed me that me and him have no future in bf or gf but if i would like a mess around with him then he would be fine with it. he was the one who would search me out, pursue/flirt with me etc, and he respected me without overstepping the line. then he told a guy in his house he could ask me out, but told me not to go. i became so confused but still didn’t do anything or talk to him about things (i am very passive when it comes to relationships)i don’t know. he told me he hasn’t been able to feel this way ever since his official breakup with his ex a year ago as well. then next day, he sent me a message saying he fell a sleep and “thank you for the lovely evening, night and morning, i had really nice time. he started to pay me more attention starting where he had left off while in school. one time he said we shoule get married he said he was kind of serious. he said that he was sorry if he seemed distant right now and that his entire life is changing, so that’s all he can focus on at the moment. i liked him enough that i would have worked with it & keep trying with him, but after that we never talked about it and he wanted to stop hooking up- i got the impression he was discouraged. the point is, we spend so much time together, he shows me he cares in numerous ways, wants to take me out, on trips, do everythign with me, his friends and mother know of me and he alwys tries to make me happy.
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Dating after mastectomy no reconstruction

I'm in a Casual Relationship with a Guy, but He Kisses Me on My

as the years went on he had his gf who for some reason unknown to me hated me from the beginning. i meant was i wouldn’t take this as a sign he was or wasn’t serious. two weeks ago we were at a halloween party and my friends and i invited him to come and hang out with us, which he agreed to. anyway, when he drove me home, he told me he hoped i realized i didn’t want a relationship because he wasn’t ready at all. he may find you attractive, but that doesn’t mean he wants to pursue a relationship. susan,i met a guy from another city sometimes in may. do i leave him alone and see if he comes to me? we cuddled and watched movies if i came over at night. it doesn't matter that it didn't last with her – the point is that he would not make that commitment to you., i am in college and its my second year here different program this time. think the best one is;“if you have to wonder whether or not he likes you, then you should assume that he doesn’t. he tells me about how his ex girlfriend took advantage of him on st. sort of evolved into an exclusive hook up before i knew it.  does he want me to say, actually i really have developed some feelings for you and want to see if we are good together or does he want me to end it. we had studied together, hung out in class together and hung out with others around the dorm after he came to my room to introduce himself.-i met this guy a month ago and he has become my fwb. yes, he might do so at some future point, but there’s no guarantee it won’t be because of someone else! but anyway, i know he’s into me, but when i asked him what he considers us yesterday he didn’t really know.  he said he really wanted to see me and that he thought about me everyday. saw him a few days after that and we hooked up again. i give him advice and he listens and offers me with just that. you already know he will commit to someone he is really into, so if he won't by your boyfriend, then…. so with all of this being said here’s my problem… i did not have any intention of getting into a serious relationship having just come out of one but the heart wants what it wants and unfortunately my heart is telling me it wants him! he continues to come by my office to have coffe, we talk and we exchange things. most guys just hook up and move on or i guess the term ‘hit it and quit it’. eventually he confessed he had feelings for me and i said that i didn’t feel the same, but didn’t want things to stop. i’m not even sure if i want it to happen again (i’m looking for something fun, not serious, after that 2 year relationship. if he isn’t suffering the same way, he’s likely to just maintain the status quo. we are together, he's very attentive, kind and we have a lovely time … and then there is the gap-land of: anybody there? i'm sorry, but nothing good whatsoever can come of that., i’d like some advice or at least feelings about this relationship or whatever it is i have…i met up with this guy in first year of college, this was about 6 years ago. we actually know eachother 2 months and its in the past month that we’ve started spending so much time together. he’s my fb friend and although he seems alpha, there’s a sensitive side to him and his party photos aren’t littered with women hovering all around him. but something happened this past weekend he spoke to one of his friends ” therapy talk” about i guess this one girl and me. that seems disrespectful to me, unless he’s made it clear he doesn’t mind. this comment box is not long enough for me to explain everything that went wrong in my marriage, and everything that i put up with to make sure that our kids his and mine got off to college. anyway, i haven’t really talked to him but my friends keep asking me about him because they all seem to think he cares about me, shocked we haven’t seen eachother yet, and that we were just in eachothers lives at the wrong time.” i tried yo get a sense of what he meant, hoping he wasn’t he wasn’t just bring really forward. if he’s not really interested in spending much time together, except for sex, you’ll have your answer., the fact that his profile is off the dating site bodes well for me. he has told me that he finds both my physical appearance and personality attractive and we always have a great time together, laughing. back to my birthday, on my birthday i had sex with her for a good hour and a half pretty much sober had one or two shots earlier in the eve and i wasn’t able to finish without my friend “pamela handerson” ;).  he said he thinks about me all the time, rest of the week he has texted, called etc and hopefully we will meet up again friday night. its like he helped me free myself from one tyrant, only to capture me in his invisible, but no less painful and restrictive cage. i know i am worthy of something better as i tend to put the guys needs first before mine and i tend to fall in love easily with them…after a string of really unsuccessful moral crushing internet dating where all the men were commitment-phobe sex fiends, someone crossed my path in my real life.  so he misses me, we are exclusive, he texts me everyday (i never text first) and / or phones me…. we spend every weekend together, sometimes he’ll get off work (his work is midway between his home and mine) and spend a night over during the week. i have seen him for the longest time, and when i look at him i mess up on the music i’m supposed to be playing (if that’s any indication of my physical attraction towards him)..whenever we hang out he tells me how much he likes me. we women tend to attach great importance to affectionate gestures and spending time together as indicative of emotional investment because that’s the way we operate. it was going great until this past friday night @ around 2 am, (we both occasionally get insomnia so we hang out really late) we both wanted to hang out and he suggested we drink (he had said something about me trying smoking & me trying drinking prior to this night). finally two weeks ago we went for drinks (he seemed to be really nervous the whole time and had a little too much to drink). his age is obviously a huge factor – i advise 21 year-old women to stick to guys 25 and older. my partial problem is, i feel like most of the time, it has been me initiating a hangout session. we have never talked about just being a hookup or never having a relationship. he always kisses and hugs me goodbye and often comes to my house straight from work.” and he came out and said “i don’t know if i want a relationship cus my past ones have ended badly and well we live in the same building so it’d be awkward. if you act like something to be “tamed,” he will be bored once he tames you. i brought up the “talk” again and this time he went on the defensive, and that night he basically said “though im over my ex, its hard for me to move on to a new relationship right now and im not sure what i want just yet. im not sure exactly what else happened through out the night because both of us were intoxicated, but every time he talked to a girl he’d look back at me and smile and every time i talked to a guy he’d do the same. basically me and my fab met in grad school when he sent me his number via facebook after we grabbed drinks as a group after orientation. we haven’t talked about “us” since last year but things seem to have changed…and yet they’re the same. i know you dread it, but believe me, it is the only way forward. it sounds to me like you need to get things out in the open. would think he really likes me based on the above, right? isn’t it supposed to be a process or am i just fooling myself into believing something might still happen with this guy? he asked if i was taking classes and said maybe he’ll see me around campus. after meeting up with him a few more times and his display of “affectionate bf” behavior, i asked him how he feels about all of this, mentioning also my feelings. from him once everywhile until around october of last year that he was giving me a heads up that he would because around in december, which i wouldn’t have been able to see him because i was going to be traveling around that time, which i found out that was when he was coming back permanently. his last disappearing act resulted in his apology (which came about on his own), it wasn’t to be take personally and i deserve to know so since we are an intimate relationship and it’s something he does every now and then. i took it and me and the guy have now been exclusive for three weeks… best three weeks of my life to be honest. he’ll always text me and see what i’m doing and seems interested in my life stories..is he just playing around, being comfortable with me until he finds someone better who comes along, or would he not mean what he said and waste as much time. he asked what i was doing later, and i told him about my plans to go to a screening of a snowboarding movie with my friend and he said sincerely that he hoped i have a time and he would see me laterstill no text from him. i guess i didn’t mind doing this for so long cus i didn’t feel anything at the time, but now that i do, it just really messes with me. a year after we became friends we had out first kiss and it was perfect. his response: that i like you as a person and love spending time with you but i am not in love with you. and he kept saying that a girl was trying to get him to take her to his place but he told me he said no, he had to see “his girl. even though he was willing to go places with me and said that he would always keep his promises, i felt that all the things he said were to get into my pants.. but im afraid to ask my friends about it bc i feel like they are judging me for kissing him/making out wednesday night and him not being my boyfriend. i would like to be exclusive and start a relationship, so maybe i should just give it more time. i was scared that he would use me but already falling for him. need to understand something – this is important: it does not matter if he kisses the tip of your nose, your eyelids, stares at you while you sleep, strokes your hair, spoons, cuddles, says i love you once while drunk.?i’ve always wondered about this, what do you think this could mean from his stance? we talk more…he texts me more…if he happens not to be at my apartment…always tells me goodnight. why can’t he tell me how he feels, instead of wanting me to put my feelings on the line and pleasing him?” i want him to bring it up to me [email protected] he also asked me if i would like to have a 3 some with his hot roomate. if by wanting to be with you, he means a full-blown relationship, you might agree to discuss it with him first and see if you both want the same thing. it was all good and in the end after his roommate he asked me to be his girlfriend. can you please give me your take on it, because despite that i am tryign to convince myself that it is all nothing and stick to the initial outcomes of our conversations, i can’t help feeling confused as i think his actions often betray his words. i hope you like him too, or that poor boy is going to have some serious heartache. so either way, if i make a decision i see myself getting hurt so it’s much easier to have someone make this decision for me that way i can’t hold myself accountable. he cared about whether i was having a good time or not (whereas before it just was so long as he was happy, hah) and for the first time he stayed all night and slept beside me all cuddly. i told him to tell me the truth, even if it hurts, and it took him awhile to respond back, i’m guessing either he put it to the side because i blew it and he didn’t care or because he was trying to figure out what to say. all his friends know this about him, he is far worse than the average guy in that department. i feel like alone we get along great when he lets his guard down we are so compatible but in public is a whole other story we have never been out together on like a “date” and if we bump into eachother while we are out clubbing or at an event he never approaches me just stares and watches my every move! i found out it was because his ex girlfriend came back on the scene and he just cut me off without any explanation. his father found out, an was very offended, by still provided me with a promotion, and i was so grateful that he continued to believe in my work and leadership. when men are interested, they generally say so unless they fear rejection. say you want love and partnership from this man, but it seems to me that he’s made it pretty clear he’s not offering either. we are both in our 30s, and i am falling for him more and more and i believe he is the one for me but i dont see any move from his side. he has told me of that’s all he wanted he wouldn’t have stuck around for awhole year. enjoying your comments/articles susana – thank you for sharing them! i just let it go and finally he emailed me to see how i was doing and noticed some changes i’ve made (just school direction and such) and was writing to me like nothing bad happened in the past. a recent study revealed men place women into marry-or-don’t-marry boxes – ladders, if you will – extremely quickly. i have feelings for him, but i’m having a hard time reading him and i think it’s too early to drop the bomb on him, so to speak, and tell him how i feel. he seems to be comfortable, does not even make plans ahead of time as his weekend is pretty much free and i select which day/time is good for me. and since am new to this kind of relatioship,i thought it was a good thing to start from here and have fun with someone i wont have to run into on the streets or something like that,so……we`ve been chating everyday and having our online satisfaction but since we had our first real encounter,things have changed.  i want to believe he’ll text me back, but something says that he probably won’t. this happens so rarely to me so he has stayed on my mind after that.. he doesnt want to be with in public but pretty much every one knows we are hooking up and our friends know about each other as well. she has never said anything about not wanting attachment, and if her friend hadn’t told me that i would think we were heading straight for a relationship. tell him that you want to continue to spend time together and get to know each other better. but i am begginning to fall for him and i want to see if we are on the same page. susan,if you could help me out here i’d greatly appreciate it. but i’m afraid if i ask, i will come off as too “much”…. all, well i have story for anyone is interested and maybe help me out, i’ve never been in this situation before i’m 24 and the guy is 31, well we met 6 months ago, we get along great, good chemistry and we hook up here and there in the beginning we like each other. try to take it one week at a time, and enjoy the relationship for what it is. first i thought he was a player and it was a one-time thing, but now he’s showing some of your [email protected] and frustratedone of the reasons he gave me was” you are very time consuming and are enough, my meeting up with other girls would not make you happy. but i bring it up because if your man is openly asserting his desire for sexual variety it’s going to be a long time or a lightning strike before he will work out that instinct to the point he’s comfortable with marital sexuality. spending every weekend together, meeting family and friends, daily contact – these are all behaviors of a couple! he tells me that he likes me a whole lot all the time. i don’t want to just hook up with him and repeat the past, with me feeling broken hearted, confused, and our friendship becoming awkward? he said he cares for me, loves spending time with me and once he kisses and embraces me, he does feel things but just not the “marry me” things. when i think about hooking up, and my own past experiences, what he did was so far from what i consider a hook up. forgot to say, that conversation ended with him saying that if that was the case (me being flexible…) he wanted to continue seeing me and see how things would go. this was my 2nd time ever having sex and i seem to have a very unusual problem. a sophomore in highschool and i recently moved to a very small town during first semester. i’ve even asked guys whom i trust and they even said that the way he was with me was unusual. he said that he meant nothing by the texts, and he was just trying to assess whether i was into him based on my replies, and was doing this to avoid hurting me. thank you for your help 🙂oh and i forgot to say, concerning the ‘hooking up’, it wasn’t just a physical thing. he is not interested in just sleeping with me but rather he sees me as more than friends. i think im going to need a shot before i do that hahathank you sooooo much for taking the time to read and respond to my messages! there is no way for you to salvage this – so resign yourself to the outcome with dignity. i don’t know his reasons because i of course can’t read his mind, but if i’m not mistaken he drove all the way down just to see me because in that weekend he only saw the friend he drove down with, the friend who let him stay at his place, me, and his brother. he told me in the beginning he just wanted to be friends, but he never introduces me as such, and now seems to be getting into arguments with me or getting annoyed with me. he’s handsome and sweet and kind and respectful of me. in the start it was supposed to be casual but as time went on the texting,calling and time we spend together has become a lot more frequent…like multiple times a week seeing eachother and texting everyday(but he hardly will ever text me first)now this has progressed over the last year. we still talk, but i’m nervious, don’t know what to do when i see him next time, help please…. then another night at the bar we danced and ended up making out on the dance floor, he took me back to his dorm and we just made out for awhile, talked and watched a movie and then he walked me home later that night. so either he feels that way, which would be okay i’d guess cuz it sounds like you feel the same, or else he’s trying to tell you he loves you but is using the word heaps to protect himself. he toned himself down to make sure it wasn’t too much for me and didn’t put me last. i told him i didn’t want him to leave and he looked back at me and said, you really don’t want me to go, do you? also thank you so much for taking the time to write back. have quietly hinted that im seeing other guys in addition to him (lately not so much) and hes loudly indicated that im the only girl in his life (by joking that im ‘enough’ to deal with) – i am aware that his best friend knows about ‘us’ (the first time i met him he winked at my guy) some other points of interest: he has slept over almost every single time, and prefers it when i sleep over when i go to his place. 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i also told him i was confused because he didn’t want me with anyone else and he could get that ‘jealous’ tone if there was any guy and how he kept in contact with me all these years and i didn’t know what that means and i felt like i deserve to know something because of that. sounds to me like it’s really not that big a deal. he could have just done that so he didn’t seem like an ass in front of me.. does he actually have feelings for me or is it just a hook up? we did end up fooling around (by fooling around i mean kissing, heavy petting, some oral) minimally and he cuddled me all night. always makes little comments about how he wants to take me to some restaurant or place he likes or how we are spending more time together. we went star-gazing again and he kissed me and held my hand & wanted to know about my past relationships and stuff. the other hand, if he is actively seeking additional women to date, you need to know that right away. when it didnt work out he told me he’d like to “hang out” again, when the next weekend comes around. it sounds like you have changed your mind a few times, so perhaps that’s not surprising..Lisa, i can only go on the information you’re giving me, but it sounds like his changing his mind about commitment is unlikely. i am currently planning on waiting for her to text me to initiate. now we are done with college both hanging out, still flirting, and eventually lots of sexual tension lead to a really hot hookup (w/ sex). i know you don’t want to waste your time, but it sounds like he needs more time, and that’s not surprising after only three weeks. he said since he can not ask somebody to follow him, he does not want to get romantic as it would hurt him. i finally asked him when he was leaving the country and he told me next week he was going and it crushed me. i’m so confused but really feel that there is something there between us. fast fwd a week—he was out of town visiting fam, and i was out with his roommate andh is roommate sent him a texting joking around that i said i missed him—he ends up asking for my number, and we text the entire night…he says the nicest things to me like “waking up next to you was undoubtably amazing” and “when you have a girl as gorgeous as you its pretty easy to want them to stay” (talking about me leaving the next day after my bday when i spent the night there)….-he brought me to meet his family who lived 4 hours away (for thanksgiving). he was living at home so i wasn’t able to see him until he told me he was going to be in town and wanted to see me so we set a date and made plans to see eachother. he was very into kissing me, using eye contact, and making sure i was feeling good, and asking me questions. the occasional text takes 10 seconds to send and is meaningless. i broke up with my bf 3 weeks ago n this guy and i hung out and had a great time and slept together again., my name is karen and i’m from misissipi and i just wanted to tell you i absolutely love your hookinkupsmart webstie! surely making life plans around one another would signify an intent to marry – that you are “the one” and it sounds like after such a short time, he is in no way ready to say that. shows of affection or sex do not mean he wants to get “committed.” what’s not ok is to blame or rage at him for it, more on that later…. this may have played itself out by now, but in general i tell women that if you have to wonder if a guy likes you, he doesn’t. but there is a huge kicker—both of us play way too many games with each other…we both continuously say to each other we are just friends just friends just friends. forward to this past summer and he randomly texts me to say he misses me and remembers hoe awesome our first night was together.  over the next few days i got the silent treatment, eventually i text and then it all seemed to et back to normal.  please help i am mega confused by all this and thinking seriously of bailing completely on him for good. but as soon as we came back, he texted me and asked me to go star-gazing.  it seems to me its going further than just fb relationship. anyway, since that all happened we seemed to have gotten really close. chemistry between us is amazing, sex is explosive, all the things you mentioned above is present. don’t really know because he never told me about her. the reason for me to choose someone far away from here is because i know that casual relationships are not for everyone, so if things can go wrong,then it`ll be easier for me to get out of it and be free knowing that he wont be close by to remind me of my mistakes. we’re mostly just having sex, but he invited me over earlier, had food together, hung out etc (and obviously sex as well). he always holds my hand, hugs or kisses me in public or when alone and sends the occasional text message asking how is my day going. i’ve recently met his friends and he even mention that i need to come over more often in front of them (i rebutted by telling him to invite me over more). so that kind of leads me to believe that he’s interested in the “hook-up” more than anything. for the record, talking on the phone all the time is not any form of commitment or sign that he wants you for more than a f*ckbuddy. this was before i told him it was out of the country and not any guy around here) and even during the hook up he brought the guy up and he wanted to make sure that i didn’t have him in mind and that i didn’t think any guy was better for me than he was. he apologized for the late response and hopes everything is well with me. one of the guys in particular kept looking at me and smiling and when i went to the bathroom he said something to me but i didn’t hear him or respond due to the fact that there was a female with them. first “date” consisted of me going to his house and he made me soup. he wanted to bring me into a family party to meet his family, he wanted me to go out and meet with his friends, he talked to his sister about me and introduced me to his niece. through the duration of a couple hours he’d keep coming back to me to talk. i dont know how to take it back… im not sure i want a boyfriend but i want him to know not to be afraid to tell me if he likes me. i took this that he was testing me to see if i’d respond or if i gave up on him. he was living at home so i wasn’t able to see him until he told me he was going to be in town and wanted to see me so we set a date and made plans to see eachother. advice is to stop playing games and trying to pretend something you’re not feeling – being “just friends. i was alarmed (i had no intention of falling for him, both of us had just gotten out of horrible relationships and, as far as i had thought, both of us were looking for an optimal friends-with-benefits situation to supplement our intense university lifestyle) and i so insisted that we have the “talk” when i return. to my knowledge, he’s not flirting or hooking up with anyone else. it’s only been 2 weeks of texting and talking on the phone and 2 hook ups, then yesterday he called asking if it was okay that we put off the sex for now, so we wouldn’t get sick of it and so that he could put more respect into it and just hang out. i realized then that i don’t want to be that girl who gives years to a guy who decides late that she isn’t the right girl for him and leaves her and finds someone else. i dont know if i should let my feelings come forward or if i should cut back on our communications so that my feelings do not get involved and i dont get hurt. came back after graduating, about 2 years since my relationship ended, when i finally healed. am surprised that after the time apart, he feels ready to hang out again and give even that a shot after such intense emotions the first time. he held me really close then asked if he could kiss me. and he started calling me baby and sweetie again in the past few days some thing which he stopped before until i tried to end it. i’m curious whether he truly is into me, or uses work as a reason to hold back from the relationship. also the whole time i have known this guy his friends always call him a man whore which concerns me a lot, but at the same time this summer i spent a lot of time with him to the point where i would have noticed if he was with lots of girls. it was like we both got scared and ran away to our comfort zones (the ex’s, and his ex would always be trying to talk to him from what i remember, and show she cared, i didnt really do that much =/ i didnt wanna be clingy). but we continued to sleep together, and i guess i can't blame him because i okayed it. often say that they enjoy intimacy in the moment, but that it doesn’t change their desire to stay single and pursue other women. he use to give me looks like i was doing something wrong when i was near him.” i was little mad cus it felt like he had given me mixed signals. there’s no reason he can’t have a girlfriend and still have his guy time. men rarely change their minds about commitment, no matter how much they like a woman. have come out of a very serious relationship 6 months ago, i was engaged at age 18 and he broke my heart when he went to university and told me that he wanted to do the “uni thing” and sleep with other girls and he could not be committed to me for the next 60 years of our lives. in general, if he is asking to see you and wanting to spend time together, you can assume that he likes you, especially if he is not trying for sex. am a freshman in college, and i met this girl who i am very attracted to about 3 weeks ago. was wondering if you could shed some light on this situation…. the summer holidays has kicked in and we are no longer near his ex, he has been better with me and he barely has mentioned his ex and we go out each week and enjoy eachothers company. in the beginning he would tell me that he is like this with all his friends and likes making them feel good. arrives a little drunk since it was boys night out and honestly, i’ve had hookups before, and when my other fwb arrive, they weren’t like him. we usually run into eacth other on hallways and in the cafeteria and he comes to my office for coffe and mate (a national drink here) and the like. he's always genuinely interested in what i have to say, what my plans are for the day, week, whatever, who i'm talking to, if any boys are pursuing me, etc.  on the other hand, he may just be genuinely busy, and will actually text me when he has time. he enjoys showing me off, and i say this because he tells me. he discussess that he is inlove with this same girl who is mu friend and she ddoesnt want to be wih him because her friends and family dont like him. and when we got back to my place he continued telling me how much he likes me nd how happy i make him and that he was going to invite me to his house upstate for the weekend if i didn’t already go out with my girlfriends. we often flirted thru texts and had plans of meeting up just never did because of our schedules being so different. we weren’t building enough of an emotional connection though, after hooking up, not like we did when it was just a friendship. i could always feel his eyes on me and i was always right when i checked to see for myself. we were on and off the past year i know on one of our off times i had another guy(b) im pretty sure he(a) was jelous of this one(b). and i said a little joke that would let him know that i was a dang good friend and he better feel lucky to have me as one! a comment got made about us dating and he laughed and said “we’re not dating”.. but that didnt last long before me and guy a was back together again. he said that before he even met me he wanted to be single for awhile. when i post on facebook he comments things that imply that he think am attractive. on the way there he tells me tonight is the night of his date we had fought over and that he tried to move it to the day time but the girl said it wouldn’t work for her. he says he has trust issues due to being “screwed over” so many times. don’t really know because he never told me about her.– cuddles post-sex and stays the night as well as in the morning – leaving w/ me at the same time. a few years ago i met a guy at work and in a short space of time we became quite close in a chatty and conversational way. my only concern was the age difference with me being a very mature 26 year old and him being 23 but i figured what the heck why not give it a shot. i want to tell him he has nothing to worry about but last time i did he ran away and i thought i scared him off or lost him. we live very close to eachother within an artist community and have mutual friends so came across at another event just near where i live (with other people), that evening he was with me all the time, asking lots of questions, we went to my place, he met my friends, then went out again, and then came back towards morning, after a very long chat, we had sex, he was very much affectionate, hugged and kissed me all the time, we had breakfast, a few hours later, met at a park nearby with also other friends, he was looking at my eyes constantly, i was thinking i was in a dream or something, which is unfortunately the case i guess.. it's odd that his friends tease him about hooking up with girls and he denies it. by the same token, don’t waste time holding back from someone you could really love. last night he came over to my place and the same thing happened, but we ended up hooking up. we have become incredibly close, he’s introduced me to his best friends and i have introduced him to my best friends (my roomates, and he has become extremely close to them in particular), we spend most of our time around each other, preferring to study with each other and hang out with each other. it’s none of their damn business and it bothers me they suggest i “owe” it to her or something.  a part of me feels like he genuinely wants this to work, but something else makes me feel like he might not be as interested as i am. i understood and we hooked up but at the same time it didn’t feel like just a hook up. at times he is so sweet to me,holding my hand,kissing me,holding me,making me laugh!, defense, it has been one hell of a ride, but he stands challenged by judgemental society and his father’s opposition to it all, our administration counts on me to overcome this phase in my life, and wants me to stabalize, and a. it’s not often that a good relationship can come out of so much drama and miscommunication in the past. i always feel maybe i should end to give hime room to find that one. that, i suppose, everyone has to gauge or find themselves what that means to them.: k see u in a bitwe hung out and it was once again back to normal, talked, cuddled, kissed, then he had to leave bc he had to run early in the morning (he does track)nothing sat, nothing sun. he even said to me ”i like you quite alot” and he was worried that i only wanted him for sex.” and i responded stupidly because i guess i didn’t understand what he was saying so i responded with the city that i met up with him and he said the city and connected it with a country that had the same city that we were in. there was an instant attraction–i ended up going home w/ him that night but nothing happened we only kissed and he didnt push for anything else. he also asked me if i would like to have a 3 some with his hot roomate. he just didn’t seem fake with me and he always seemed to be trying to figure me out and learning more about me, emotionally and mentally, not physically. your words have helped me to reinforce within me this path of healthy ways of being in a relationship. when i asked him why, one of the reasons he gave me was” you are very time consuming and are enough, my meeting up with other girls would not make you happy. three months is not such a long time, and he may be “playing it safe” by keeping his options open – after all, you could decide to leave him.), does not seem to care much about learning what things i like, does not seem to want to see me more than once per week, has never complimented me, and his profile is still on the online site (mine is as well…). finally when i was at the bar, the bartender was flirting with me and he came up behind me and said back off that i’m his girlfriend. know it's hard, but believe me – whichever way it goes you will feel a huge relief afterwards.  it still feels like some kinda test as i said before in my preivous posts. i know that he knows the power he has over me because he’ll stop communicating with me for a period of time and then when i finally feel like im moving on he’ll pop up with this i want u to be close again and i see me marrying you in the future i just want you to fall on your head a few times. i was and still am ok with that for now, but he acts like he is falling for me. we’ve had sex three times and i have a hard time reading his personailty. he does not want to cross a line into a new involvement right now.” since friday he has also been texting me “sweet dreams” every night. remember, a guy’s showing affection, cuddling, talking for hours, etc. i don't understand either, i mean he took the time to explain to me that he didnt hook up with certain girls, but when he found out i got asked out by someone else, he didnt believe me and said its not like he cares. but the big problem and why i am now more confused is because he said he does not have time for a proper relationship (neither do i thats fine) that it would not be fair as he cannot commit the time to me or anyone else at the moment. was away in europe for a couple months and he contacted me once, but i was super distant and he didn’t contact me again. truth is that any relationship that isn’t a full commitment (marriage) lasts only as long as both people want to be in it. he gave me a rather vague and useless answer which i cant even remember. both parties have something to lose when there’s a misunderstanding. there are many guys out there – don’t settle for someone who doesn’t know what he wants and doesn’t treat you respectfully. he came over and we watched a movie and had sex that same night, which ended up being great.. i mean i like him, but sometimes i feel like he sends such mixed signals and i feel strung along, waiting for him to do something.  he always compliments me and will drop anything to do what i ask. men don’t consider wife material until they’ve got the radar screen on. every time we go out in public he holds my hands, kisses my forehead or lips, displays affectionate gestures, and doesn’t have wondering eyes.. ignoring him when he said hi to youthis isn’t like some dude you met in a bar that night.  i still don’t know what he is doing though, all these mixed signals are really confusing me and actually beiginning to annoy me. are both under 30, i’m dating other guys as well and i assume he sees other women. 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he got jealous mad and told me he wanted to beat the guy up (just figurately, of course!“i mean we only kiss but still is he just using me as someone to kiss? recently found and started talking to my first love after not seeing or talking to him for 20 yrs we have been communicating via text and phone calls for over a month, he lives about 2-3 hours away from me. he may even have gotten closer to me in terms of showing it. to be perfectly honest, part of my obsession with him is probably my thing for game-playing and drama; several of my friends whom i discuss with (and have only seen pictures) say “you are way to good-looking for him”, “he needs to make you his girlfriend”.  he asked if i’d told anyone about us and i said yes a couple of friends, i asked him if he has told anyone and he said, exactly  “no i don’t think its a good idea to tell my kids as they would get upset and think i don’t have time for them or that someone will take time away from them” um i never asked if he’ told his kids and wouldn’t have expected him too, i haven’t told mine about him either. that night, he started to text me more and more and we hung out on a regular basis, like 4 times a week. you say we should always keep dating and meet guys as long as we’re not agreed upon being exclusive, and i assume that goes for guys too? moved back home and we started to sleep together occasionally but he was still my best friend.“i’m not ready as i only broke up with my ex 4 months ago, i still need a little more time, but i’m glad you asked me and i do like spending time with you. however i dont understand his angle, and what he wants from me. when i was leaving his house, he asked me if i wanted to leave some of my things there, so next time i wouldnt have to pack so much. may do all this hooking up and stuff, which is fine, but if they dont care about a girl, they are really making it harder on us and make us feel worse by playing with our emotions. so like those that have preceded me, i’m in need of advice. was looking for signs to tell if this guy likes me and i came across your list, i really like it and think its accurate but my current situation doesnt fall under most of the signs which left me confused. but after that night i told him, he seemed even more into me. moving along here, a, started to keep his distance from me after things got really difficult for me, and during a few life challenges. he wrote me asking if i remembered him and gave me his number. otherwise, i’d have told him a long time ago. i don’t want him to one day just move on to someone else.“so i guess my question really is, just because he’s not ready for any sort of commitment now does that mean he won’t be in time?  he said – next time we will have to have a nice chat. he lived with 4 other guys and one night he got super drunk downtown and called me at like 2am for a ride. i think i’m not fully committing a crush here because he is a commitment phobe and always pulls back from me when we have deeper convos – he did this even when we were just friends. come thursday she texted me that she wasn’t up for going out. he’s introduced me to his buddies at work (all high ranking in the military), talked about me to his roomate/friend that’s deployed. he treats me like his gf sometimes, calls me hunnie, kisses me all the time and one time i was joking that we should have a threesome with this guy( haha it was a joke!” maybe i should give this a little bit more time? in the meantime, it’s not realistic to expect chit chat texts, especially if he’s already said he likes to take things slowly. anyways, we were making out for the 2nd time last night and the same thing happened. the first time we hung out we just took a walk and talked. we write to each other almost everyday in between and he calls me for some lengthy talks. he said he hasnt fallen for anyone this fast and everything about me seems right. he was so affectionate it put me off balance, because it was intense. i volunteer at a hospital, and one day a man begged me to take him off life support. he texted me 2 days later and we have been texting ever since. so, that we should just stop hooking up and be friends. i decided that i was ready to move on and meet different people. seems we met during one of his diciest times, & i am not inclined to berate or have a tantrum, i just like to be able to draw some conclusions/assessments and then see what feels right and how to proceed. women do the same with who they’d sleep with. i walked by and he tried stopping me and asking if i was mad. he said that he was there to make sure it was good for me so he kept delaying his own and asking what i wanted. he wanted to sleep with me, but it was the wrong time of the month, but he said he was okay with just kissing and cuddling. anyway just a few nights ago he got pretty drunk and i picked him up and the whole drive back to my place which was about 20 mins he’s telling me how happy he was that i was with him and he must have said “i like you alot lisa, like really alot” at least 20 times … no exaggeration! we met in person after two weeks of exchanging messages. i feel really good about this conversation:) while i read the last paragraph of your article regularly, especially the “reliable and consistent attention” bit, not to chill out too much:) i’ll meet one of his best friends this week, might invite him as well, and next time i see him i will keep an extra eye on the above signs:) lets see what happens…. but come the end of the night she said she just wanted to sleep in her own bed tonight. hung out a couple more times and then, about two weeks ago he came into a room i was in with his friends studying. i held it steady, i put up with the pain and emptiness, and then a came along, and now i really get to feel the pain of being on the hook of someone you so thoroughly adore. i guess what i’m wondering is, if he’s just in it for the hookup or how to realize if he wants more. after he left he limited conversation and to 2 times a week and he never start texting me and if i do he will answer with long delay or call me the day after that. he knows me very well now – what i find funny, the kind of food i like (and brings me things every so often – eg. before thanksgiving time however, he stopped texting as much and would respond bluntly to anything i say like a simple “mkay,”so we hung out in his room and kissed friday, then saturday i initiated texting 5:00pm. he also invited me to hang out sober and asked me about my new job. he was a life guard at my pool at that time. during the first few months, from what i know, he met up with different girls but since new years, it has only been me. it’s wonderful how you take the time to respond to all these women by delivering practical yet caring advice. i have to believe that if he wanted a real commitment he would have locked it down by now, but you’ve put so much into this relationship, it really doesn’t make sense to do anything without having a frank talk first. don’t “hookup” (meaning casual sex), unless i know i’m in a committed, exclusive situation with the other party. his teenage kid sometimes lives with him, sometimes w/ the ex. last night he almost didnt meet up with me to get food and when i commented that he seemed like he was still annoyed with me (from a tiff we got on on wednesday) he was like no i am just fine with being friends or soemthing like that…i do the same thing to him because i told him when i was hooking up with this other guy a month ago before him and i started having sex again…since we have been hooking up again i havent talked to the other guy at all. he even brought up to me in front of his friends something like, “if we were living together, would you do this ______”.• tags: awkward, casual sex, date, dating, emotional intimacy, emotions, eye contact, fall, favorite things, friend, friendship, guys, hook up, hooking up, hookup, humor, hurdles, intimacy, open, perils, reassurance, relationship, relationships, romantic relationship, sex, sexual intimacy, signals, signs, talk, together. but shortly after we started spending time together, things started shifting gear.: yeah kinda haha, come hang out if ur not busy:). but several other friends’ comments have made me wonder if we are actually meant to be together, due simply to the fact that we’ve carried on for so long. susan, i hope you can shed some light on a situation i thought i had with a guy! however, it he has already started seeing someone else i would definitely consider it over. it was fine for me as i just came out of a long relationship and wanted something without complications. i am a 20 year old female who started to hook up with a guy lets call him “john”. given your anxiety and “crushing,” you don’t seem comfortable with the fwb arrangement either. he tells me he doesn’t know where we’ll go but until then, he just isn’t ready right now to ask me out. he is constantly complimenting me and he swears he has never been a cheater and will never be with another girl as long as we are seeing each other. he would get upset every time my phone went off, and kept asking me questions about how i feel about my ex, trying to make sure that we were definitely over. it sounds like he has never fallen for anyone before, or allowed himself to become attached. i said no several times and he kept asking why until i finally told him i had had a bad experience with another guy in our building (whom he knows). now that you have hooked up, he will either back off or continue his interest. forgot to say that when was out on a walk a woman went by he commented about her cheast i said was ah right he was like it is an guy thing did your ex not say stuff about other woman i said no he did not he said probably was too scared to and made privite joke we had about my ex that he started i lauthed abit never mentioned any woman again but none went by really then we walked on also he hardly looks at me or holds my hand unless i hold his first. he considers us friends, nothing more, nothing less and that he wanted us on the same page. that’s a total waste for you when you are in your prime! you kindly for taking the time to reply – and spot on! over the past year, he has indicated interest in hanging out, just the two of us, and i have always brushed it off with a joke or something. my friend encouraged me to email him just making simple conversation and he responded back pretty much telling me he noticed me and wanted to hang out., and talked after, still asking me questions and trying to get to know me. took me to a hotel bar where a band as playing, he wanted to hear me sing (i sing for jazz band on the side) and he even took a video. so i met this guy 6 yrs ago in college, wasn’t really attracted to him and didn’t really say much to him at all and then one day it just hit me. mean, i spend alot of time with this guy, but now he's not even kissing me anymore. men who are emotionally invested cannot bear the thought of their woman having sex with another man. when they accuse him of hooking up with another girl he explains to me that thats not what happened, that he didnt do that. or do i feel like i am falling for him because of the attention he is giving me now?[captcha]leave this field empty if you're human: follow hooking up smart:Like us on facebooklatest tweetstweets by @susanawalsh homeaboutadvertiseprivacy policycontact. i told him it’d give us a chance to become proper friends and he seemed to like the idea. i miss him a lot and i want to tell him that but don’t know how, so now i don’t know when am i going to see him because he didn’t mention anything. he never pressured me into having sex, but we did anyway under my request (i wasn’t used to waiting after being in a long term relationship). i had to leave early june before the semester was over not expecting anything to come from me and guy a. he recently graduated from our college but plans to stick around for the upcoming semester looking for a job and what not. he even brought up to me in front of his friends something like, “if we were living together, would you do this ______”. i know mean, but he wouldn’t stop and i was tired and had an appointment int he morning. is tough, because it’s a weird mix of not knowing what the other person is thinking, even though it’s someone you’ve known well. he will again state that he is not ready for commitment. so i’m taking this as i must be something special. he’s also invited me to places and offer to pay for me. i said i was cool with it but that i did really like him and think that it would be nice if we spent time together getting to know each other but that would happen the longer what we are doing continues as its inevitable, he said he felt bad about what was happening and just wanted to make sure i was ok about [email protected]’s clear that this guy loves to flirt and enjoys interacting with a variety of women. me and this guy have talking for a few weeks. we had a few talks, always initiated by me, regarding “us. he came over to me the next night after that happened and it looked so bad. they can enjoy a woman, feel fond of her, feel strongly attracted to her, and still not want a commitment of any kind. , he was there too and we by chance we able to talk and he hugged me when he saw me and kept purposely running into me. during my first time 3 weeks prior to meeting this girl. one ammendment, i said the mutual friend said she wasnt looking for affection, that’s supposed to be “attachment”.)but what even feels better than that is the sense finally being able to trust my choices with men. i like that but the hooking up is appearing to be more than that and im fine with that as well its just he told me he wanted something causal at first and to see where it went because he just got out of a very long serious relationship with a girl he loved dearly who cheated on him and then played his heart, his exact words. don’t get me wrong we talk about everything and anything, he does tell me things like he had a lot of love for me and cares about me, i just got sick and he was calling and texting every five mins. i understand if you don’t want to ask too early, but i figure if you hook up early, it’s fair to ask how he sees it. as i said he’s still texting but he seems almost to be hiding behind those texts where as before he was calling me and i him. i found out she was single and sent her a message on facebook, so i guess you could say this was basically the first time we had ever really spoke to each other. i guess i didn't know what i was signing up for, because it became very obvious that he came over to have sex, which we did. he picked me up and walked me back to my room. i don’t know how much hurt i can keep taking from him in hopes that we’ll be something more in the future.” then he automatically corrects himself with: “i mean, another guy.” waiting for him to come to you is not a good strategy, because you are already feeling confused and conflicted. he was happy at the moment he had a conflict at school could attend at that moment. well, after we spent a few hours that passed very quickly – we went to leave, and we kissed, which he initiated. despite all these things, i feel he is a great guy if he really cares for someone and is in love…i just don’t understand what is wrong with me since he apparently loves so many things about me yet wants nothing apart from spending time and bed. we talked more and got nowhere other than me being stupid and sticking it out still. talked to him yesterday (monday), he told he wanted to see me and that he would call me, he knows that today and tomorrow i was off but i didn’t heard a from him today 🙁 do you think he lost interest or he is just busy…? i am “hit on” all of the time, and most guys don’t interest me, but he does! some examples: he comes to my house every night and spends the night. apologies, i just found your comment here – sometimes they slip through the cracks. fwb has also asked me to bring my dog over, since we’re both dog lovers. the end of january, he became very pushy and questioned me whether i liked him at all or wanted to date him.” ditto whatever comes out of his mouth while he’s drunk (would you want to be held to things you said while drunk?“then on thanksgiving, he didnt call me but texted me that night saying “hey sorry i didnt call u, im not feeling well, will try to call u tomorrow but i cant make any promises” and he didnt call. do know he is a very affectionate cuddler by nature and likes public displays of affection and that he certainly made me feel that way when we met. during those 3 years he was truck with cancer, and i was there for him, and a was there for me, as best as he could. dream that he will fall for you is normal – that’s what women always feel. then right after that he went to her and went to her locker and he paid her attention and totally avoided me like i was nothing and it did hurt. really dont know how to approach this i know hes said some things before and came crawling back to me but i dont want to be used for just sex. i’ve been pretty receptive i think, and he initiates contact most of the time. he seems interested, so i guess i’ll find out one way or another about what he wants from me – other than the hu if anything. i remember we had a really deep conversation about our lives and he actually asked questions like “why do you make out with me? but we would still stay in touch with msn or with facebook from time to time and when he came to visit. he would sometimes refer to me as his gf and try to kiss me and hug me. it hurt, i felt used and thought he was going to avoid me. usually when he says good bye, he would give me a great hug and kiss on the forehead, but at the end of that night, it was an awkward hug. we share the same political and (non-)religious beliefs and we both love movies and books and have similar backgrounds, etc.

Scientists Agree: It's in His Kiss | WIRED

of course, i take medicine for depression and anxiety as well.  there is no one else and he does not want anyone else we are exclusive and i said if i met another guy (relationship type) i would stop what we have together, this is when he started to get wierd and was like “no you don’t have to do that we can still see each other, i’d be fine about it”. he was there for me when th eguy i was seeing cheated and drove to my uni to see me and just talk all night. months ago i was told by a man who also works there and who has been friendly, kind and very helpful to me whenever i had asked for help, that he actually has been very attracted to me ever since he met me. since then we’ve seen each other about once or twice a week, at least once a week, and i’ve stayed at his house about three times. i don’t ask him if he’s dating anyone else or how he spends his time (i really don’t want to know). i want us to talk it out so that we can make sure we’re on the same page. did asked him one time if he was shy when it came to making the first move and he said yes. he started to show some real affection and then one night we went out and came back home really drunk and ended up having a 3 some with his roommate like he proposed. well, every time i would tell him i’m talking to a guy he would say ” don’t date him” or always say something like oh he’s too old. however, being a female, it is almost impossible to have sex without feeling something and getting attached in one way or another.  maybe he feels some affection, but i doubt anything more–at least i doubt it based on anything you’ve said. i dont want to invest in him emotionally, but at the same time, he is definitely someone i would consider being a part of my life in the future, he has all of the qualities im looking for in a man. i know because of the type of job he does he has to be very independent and distanced from others most of the time.” now, many men are not like this…in fact most (in my estimation) betas seek monogamy with a woman they can bond strongly with. we spend huge amounts of time together, i stay at his place for days on end, sometimes up to a week, he gave me his key to his apartment, we do everything together, including grocery shop and stupid “baby ad marriage jokes”. im just confused i just wantvto know if he likes me and how i can play this right. i didn't know what this meant for our "relationship," though. next day via sms he was messaging about how he had such an amazing time and how much fun we had. i realized that day that i’ve never met anyone just so similar to me. anyway, about a week later he decided to call me. and after 2 days, he texted me again last night and was flirting a little bit and i made it clear to him that i “used to” like his dirty talk and he got the point when he said ” well, i don’t think you do now that’s why i said ‘used to’.  i have no doubt in my mind he cares about me so, so much.: haha night 🙂the next night he texted me asking if u wanted to hang out, i went and hung out with him and his roommates at 8:30 (his roommates are really nice and cool) and then the two of us hung out by ourselves in his room 10 till 12, talking at first, watching a movie, and then the night ended with us making out for the first time. so, we have been dating since mid november (but keep in mind that thanksgiving break and a month apart during winter break are included) we texted all over january winter break, like he was super sweet and cute and really made an effort, calling me on the phone as well. i have dated the same guy my entire high school career. talked alot about relationships in general, things that make them go wrong, our own past realtionships and why they went wrong etc and i feel that he is somehow feeling me out, seeing what i think about relationships, men, sex, commitment, longterm relationship changes etc, its like an interview or initaition as to whether or not i am suitable for the 100m sprint or the marathon. i hooked up with him last week, and i’m trying to figure out what to make of it. he acts like one most of the time, but he never verbalized his intentions. then you can make an informed decision about what you want to do.“now i dont know how to take it back… im not sure i want a boyfriend but i want him to know not to be afraid to tell me if he likes me. after 2 months, i tried to define the relationship bc i felt it was at that point and i think me having that talk made him feel pressured and he even told me at one point that it wasnt that he didnt like me but that he felt i was further ahead in the relationship progression than him…so after a few months i was very frustrated with him for not wanting to commit bc i didnt understand why and he was frustrated bc he felt like i was pressuring him…so finally i said it would be easier for us to be friends and he told me “i guess we’ll have to try it that way”…so for a month we stopped talking as much or hanging out really…we would still talk and text at least al few times a week but it felt weird. we started drinking together after that and i went home with him, where he cooked food and we went to bed. this conversation went late into the night, until he finally asked if it would be absurd to come over. some of my colleagues have told me that he never used to visit the area or stop for coffee and a chat and on the days i missed work, he didn’t even show up. i was really upset because i felt like he was lying to me just to keep me around (for sex perhaps). either hit it and quit it or leave me alone. yes, we kissed passionately (no necking)…and yes he asked if i wanted to spend the night to which i politely declined, after which we had breakfast…. now his brother was explaining to me how anthony (the new guy) is always so quick to fall in love etc…. now with all of that being said we have seen eachother almost every day since thenand every time were together he is constantly telling me how much he likes me and how good i make him feel and how great i treat him and that he’s not used to it etc… he’s more than affectionate with me and when he looks into my eyes i would swear that he is falling very hard for me. so sometimes i don’t know what to make of him and psych myself out; how much do i like him? he watches you all the time and goes out of his way to bump into you.,i’ve “hooked up” (no sex) with this one guy two different times within the past four months. and when he first saw me since my day of hire he gave me a really weird look. like i said i feel like his actions are telling me different than his words. during this time he talked about his strong feelings for me, how amazing i am, etc. yet we’re both unsure as to when we will be seeing each other again until now…when i’ll be coming up for the weekend to see him (my mum wants me to go on a trip with her to the city where he lives…what perfect excuse to see him)for the past three weeks he’s all i could think about, i could barely eat or sleep and i feel really energized. so on friday i take her out to dinner and then we meet up with our friends and the whole night we are affectionately kissing and feeling each other and at one point she started rubbing my dick through my pants. i feel trapped in the middle of this emotional storm, and many times just crawl into bed feeling so defeated. in fact, i think it’s very odd when people get really close and are spending a lot of time together and don’t talk about what they’re doing, or try to define it in some way. he was a complete sweetheart and as he was going he talked about some stuff we could do together and i asked if that lune always worked for him, and he laughed, said he was serious but wasn’t looking fir “a girlfriend or wife or anything). about two weeks ago he said that we should stop having sex (we hooked up twice) because he doesn’t want it to complicate things with us living so close (we both own our houses) and that if we dated it could be the best thing in the world or the worst. just little things like that really express how much he cares about me. he has had many monogamous relationships, some of which he would classify her as a girlfriend and some not., so thats the story so far, so the things that are really bothering me are:1. that confused me because when i tried to end it he got so upset.. i just need more time and i want to take things slowly with you. i know he liked it but again he told me to stop., should i ask him next time i see him in person or is it ok if i just ask him over the phone? the thursday before that weekend he came to my job and i took my break and sat with him and we discussed what our situation was. after a few times of hanging out (like 4) i noticed that he was holding my hand in public and putting his arm around me in [email protected] was in an relationship which was not working i meet another guy online talked for about a week or two before meet seem to get along ok was alot of physical chemistry between us and could make me lauth seemed nice meet a few times ended up having sex with him he know i had boyfriend explained situation to him that we was pretty much over for years and that we was like friends and that i was going to end iti think he’s just after sex. man kissed me unexpectedly four months ago and since then we see each other regularly at least twice a month for 4-5 days every time. these are not “mixed signals,” he’s been very upfront about what his actions mean and do not mean.. he finds out about midway trough last semester i have been hanging out with our mutual guy friends roommate and asks me 4 times in the following weeks if i’m dating the guy after we hadn’t hooked up for a while. thing is, i don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling about me. think an important point to make is that when it comes to the sex it’s all down to me. in one way or another we maintain some kind of contact when we are not physically together. you susan, i don’t know why but your reply made me feel better. there’ve been some hints at a another potential activity together. when things first started i told him i wanted a relationship, but he told me he was not looking for a girlfriend. however, i’m aware that it’s not realistic to expect women to have “the talk” in the first few weeks. we hang out at the same bar and obviously see each other when we are outside at our houses. he’s even looking for some extra jobs now (i hope i didn’t get him all bankrupt) and wants to take me to a place i promised my granddad i’ll visit (far far, expensive expensive)… he wants to get a bigger flat as well for some reason. (also if anyone else would like to comment, i would love to hear your thoughts):i’m a university sophomore studying far away from my hometown – a few months ago, i had an assignment, and my partner was a friend of a friend who happens to be in my program- we hit it off really well and we ended up hooking up the first night we met each other (incidentally out of character for both of us – that very night we had a talk suggesting that this was just to be a one night stand and that it was a one time deal). sometimes we stay in and watch movies, but other than that there has never been purposeless hanging out, but other than that for all intents and purposes he pretty much acts like my boyfriend. he introduced me to his friends, and i'm always over his house. he apologised for the way he’d treated me and said hed missed me too.?First, i think you need to ask him point blank if he still feels the same way he did at the beginning, or if his feelings about a relationship have changed. there are so many guys willing to treat me right and take me out properly so if he’s not willing i dont want to settle for less- but i find it so hard to find someone i actually like… and i really liked/like him. you describe sounds like a full-blown relationship to me, not fwb. i have no idea what hes doing with me – when we hang out i have seen other women openly gape at him. i broke up with him because we were spending too much time together, ignoring our friends, never leaving the house, etc. he finally responded telling me he didn’t want to hold me back and that he really wasn’t making sure i wasn’t with anyone, that he was just asking (which i don’t believe because he got jealous angry when i brought up the last guy, which wasn’t even a big deal to me). instead of praying my tomato plants to grow, i go to the store and buy some tomatoes. i think that in view of the way things have developed, he could not expect me not to want to be exclusive and, as he said, “it comes with the territory. on friday and the time before that we also looked into each others eyes whilst having sex which didn’t happen before. i asked him several times if this is what he wanted and he said yes. these are just some of the things that confuse me since we are only fwb. so i told him to call me or text me anything he wanted if he needed someone to talk to. wrote to you earlier, i have a question me and my hook up have been hooking up for a few years, roughly 3 years now. she mentioned other guys that had tried to date her and she wasn’t interested and found them too pushy. i’m a firm believer that if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen and be, and if not, i’m okay with that. i don’t think he drove down for another reason because his brother ended up going to visit his family for the holidays a few days after that so i took it that the main reason he came down was for me. late june after he found out i was returning he started to ask “did i love him” that conversationwent on then all summer he was saying how much he missed me and stuff. however, the bottom line was ” i don’t have time for a relationship., later he was glued to my side and very touching, caressing, and just very attentive to me. susani was in an relationship which was not working i meet another guy online talked for about a week or two before meet seem to get along ok was alot of physical chemistry between us and could make me lauth seemed nice meet a few times ended up having sex with him he know i had boyfriend explained situation to him that we was pretty much over for years and that we was like friends and that i was going to end it though meet up about 5 times before i managed to end with bf seemed still to get along ok but most times we meet up ended up having sex would go for odd walks,watch tv, kiss after sex etc talk abit seemed to be going ok still was asking if i dumped my bf yet and when said no i want to but it very hard to said i was a big chickens though i had ask him to meet up most of times and only talked to him on msn and if i would txt him he mostly txted me back. he started to kiss me a lot more, and caress me, and look into my eyes so strangely. i’ve had men i was in love with cheat on me. we spent the weekend together as planned and had an amazing time, great sex, great conversations, we laughed and just carried on. he is very attentive when i have life problems, and he listens and tries to help me come up with solutions. after he came back, i didn’t hear from him much because i had a feeling he was going to be leaving soon for his job out of the country and maybe that he didn’t want me to get attached/him to get my hopes up, but then all of a sudden i was hearing from him everyday. i am too much of a chicken to tell him flat-out to stop chasing me, because he is rather sensitive to criticism. but he stayed with me every night for a week and we hooked up a couple times but not every night. guess is that he is enjoying your company and wanting to spend time with you but might balk if pressed for a commitment. the next day was a weekend,i didnt have any plans so was he and he asked me to come over again but in the morning which it surprised me but hey………i said what the hell so i went for it and things were different. on the other hand, he doesnt always call me when he says he will and his ex gf still calls him sometimes although he says he doesnt want to be with her. i asked him what he was crying for and he said it was just really good to see me. i was gentlemanly at the time and said i understood and recieved a very passionate kiss outside her dorm but was left out in the cold with a major boner. he plans for us both three months ahead, cooks for me all the time, tells me things he never told to anyone before, is eager to cover all the bills up and prioritizes me in bed always, suggested to meet my child.: not sure where kara is, but my other two roomates are at my friends house, i had to skype home bc of family stuff, now just relaxing 🙂. i had met her once or twice before (very briefly) through a mutual friend a few years back. he told his friend that am his special friend and then when he talk to me about his friend he said ” if you ever meet him don’t tell him this that am going to tell you”. after by chance again (we didnt text to meet) he saw me sitting outside reading and joined me, and we hung out for like 20 min. But what does it mean when a guy kisses you on your forehead? i go over his house around once a week and we see each other throughout the week, but i just dont understand his intentions with me. he is going away for a few weeks in a few days, i also heard from another mutual friend that for a long time he has actually been quite low in mood, up and down and in one of their conversations he said i want to fall in love etc. is the first time i date a man of this rare breed: an entrepreneur, a workaholic, and the frustrated artist in one package. that is a huge sacrifice to make, a commitment really, when it doesn't sound like he was ready to reciprocate. we started getting closer in the physical level but when it comes to friends he is there for me. afternoon he contacted me to ask how my weekend has been, said we should definitely have dinner soon, also told me where he was with his friends and asked me what i was doing, and i said the weekend has been very busy (not a lie!(an aside: i’m starting to react with rank insult at people, usually women, who ask me why i’m not thinking about marrying my lady friend. sometimes it seems as if were heading towards a relationship then other times it seems as if we are what we are. but i realize i'm letting him do this to me, so it's up to me to stand up for myself. those are the signals that point me in the “more-than-friends thinking” direction.. and he did tell me he loved me once and keeps in touch. so my question is does he care about me or is it all just a game? after we were married, 1 year into the marriage, he stopped having sex with me, and kept photos of his x-wife of 15 years in a shoe box in our bedroom closet, not to mention old cards, letters and photes of his x-wife, even as i threw them out after i discovered them, he kept digging them out of the trash. the following monday he was distant and not talking to me.!    i figured it helps me to write about it to try and get it clear in my head but then again maybe i am just deluding myself. recently, we have been spending quite a lot of time together, at least 3-4 times a week.: hey ___ hope the retreat went well 🙂 goodluck on the sunday night homework! and i really really really need some answers and advice, because i can’t seem to take my own or even listen to myself at all. language, and many so called 'dating rituals' here are to me most peculiar, to say it kindly. we'd even gone on a few dates/hung out with friends on a few occasions during that time, and he would put his arm around me, kiss my head, and treat me like i was his. i was under no illusions that it was anything more than just sex which suited me fine. this pain is really killing me and i dont know what should i do. school started and he seemed angry with almost as if he held some type of grudge. a month ago i met this great guy on a dating website and today we went on our 4th date.! but seriously, this highlights how men and women view marriage in radically different ways. he kept asking if i was ok and he brought me water & stuff after i got sick. we gave it a chance and it became a few failed attempts on his part. he is going out of town to vegas for his job and asked me to come along he would pay for my ticket and all my accomodations we have talked about sex on several occasions and i suppose there is an expectation of sex on this trip my question is is he only in it for the sex? and the other day he made a comment about his friends and refer to me as his girlfriend (this was the first time he use the word “girlfriend”)so what do you think?/susan,i find helen’s comment to encapsulate all of a typical woman’s (and a lot of men’s) thoughts about fwb at the same time. if you have a date for wednesday, he will likely be in touch monday or tuesday to confirm and make arrangements.

What Does It Mean When a Guy Kisses Your Forehead? | PairedLife

Guys, i need your advice!!

he is home every 5-10 days for a day, then back out. the thing is, he hasnt formally asked me out on any dates, or expressed that he wants to be in a relationship with me. susan,its me again…so i wasn’t able to hold out long and i confronted the man and we had a small talk about “us. he finally called and asked me if i wanted to go on a date with him. even told him no more hooking up and tried dating someone else. if you were the one to break the engagement, this is truly cruel on your part. felt like i had soo many questions and decided to send him an email basically telling him that what i wrote before wasn’t what i meant and what i meant was that i enjoyed our friendship before and i realize that i can’t do the in between because i can’t handle it and i have feelings. his not being able to enter you, it can take a while for a woman to become aroused enough to make penetration easy. if both of you were ready for a relationship, had sex early and went on to spend time together, as you have, a relationship is just as likely to succeed as if you had waited longer to have sex. if he had real feelings, he would not have been eager to go hook up with other people, even if you were the one who suggested it. if he wants to stay uncommitted, he owes it to you to tell you if he gets with some other woman. i know the new guy enjoyed talking to me too since he posted something about it on his facebook.:” (he had said something about me trying smoking & him* trying drinking prior to this night)”. my husband was secretly hooking up with his x-sister in-law,  for moral support he says, but it was more of a bash me fest. well that first weekend we ended up sleeping together and he made it clear he wasn’t interested in me bc he started hooking up with another girl in our class. meanwhile, i urge you to keep meeting new people, dating, etc. he got really defensive and tried assuring me to stick it out and see where it goes. now we can go a week without talking as in before we would talk in some form everyday. we meet on colleagues’ birthdays and similar occassions and sometimes we go for drinks after work with some friends.  we chatted about work etc, i said i’d been really busy, had a dinner meeting with a guy, got the contract signed etc and was really pleased……. we normally stay at my house, but we sometimes go out to have dinner. contact between us was way more strained and awkward, but we hung out a couple times in the month following the breakup. what really got me was how he reacted when he saw me. i met this guy that came into my work, and we talked for a while, went back to his house, he cooked dinner, and we just talked the whole night, the night ended with a kiss and nothing else. here’s why: if he doesn’t want a relationship, he will say so and you will be free to end it and find someone more compatible. if he starts acting attached and you don’t like it, set some limits. secondly, he expresses that he is willing to forego other women because it would make you unhappy. he’s been single as long as i’ve known him (3 years), we have amazing sex and he easily gets upset if i cannot come to see him. i met this guy a couple of days ago at a club and we danced all night and then he came back to my flat with me and some friends and watched a movie. he has kept his promise of contacting me and hanging out sober, but to the least degree possible. reminds me… every time we’re at a party, the whole night his eyes are on me, and they oddly appear as if they’re smiling. it definitely caused some sleep deprivation on both ends, and an understanding that further engagements could not be the same. so the girl didnt like me she picked cause i guess she was threatend by me but there was no need cause i had made up my mind to let him go. my friends told me that i blew it and that was the only chance i was going to get because either he thought i responded that way because i wasn’t interested in him or because he is afraid of getting hurt. guys know that girls want to hear exactly those things, so they do it without making any kind of real commitment. he’s been divorced for over 2 yrs, and claims i’ve met him at the best point he’s reached in his life. when we first starting texting it was every few days or so and then before i knew it we have been texting everyday, he usually texts me before he goes to sleep and in the morning when he wakes.,“he has told me of that’s all he wanted he wouldn’t have stuck around for awhole year. if he’s 45, i assume his kids are a bit older. you affectionate names and referring to a future time when you might be dating is not a commitment. or they lived in another city or weren’t really interested in commitment, etc.“am i just fooling myself into believing something might still happen with this guy? could the change in the way he is having sex with me be indicative of his feelings toward me? he always asks me question after question after question about me, almost like i don’t even get a chance to answer his questions because he keeps asking more! we go out and hold hands, he pays for me, etc etc. he hides stuff on his social networking site because he’s afraid i’ll see something. i met this guy over a year ago through another guy i was dating at the time. since then, he has been texting me consistently every day, showing a complete interest in my life, wanting to know everything thats going on, shows concern for my kids, sends me pictures of his kids and little projects they are working on around the house.“these are just some of the things that confuse me since we are only fwb. to me, we were growing apart a month or two before i broke up with him, so i’m already pretty much over the relationship. i’m not worried about the age difference at all, but a guy that age is unlikely to want a serious commitment, especially if it involves the lives of three children. anyway, last year i changed jobs and started to work with a lot of people and i’ve become a little more sociable.  i do really like him and think we would be great in a relationship but we do need to make a little more time for each other and at least be able to go out occasionally. i first met him i asked him what he was looking for, he said: “im looking for a potential relationship but i want to start as friends first to make sure we get along”. if he met someone tomorrow he wanted to see or have sex with, he would end it with you in a heartbeat, no? women oftentimes think “he says he loves me, so why doesn’t he want to marry me? i said that i understood, i just needed some reassurance sometimes that it wasn’t just meaningless sex. from him once everywhile until around october of last year that he was giving me a heads up that he would because around in december, which i wouldn’t have been able to see him because i was going to be traveling around that time, which i found out that was when he was coming back permanently. anyway, i’m not really pursuing anyone at the moment. we talked online after that and he made last minute plans to come hang out at mine but they fell through. like there’s no one in the room but me, and after the party is over we usually, shamefully i’ll say it, end up sleeping together. the past year 2009/2010 school year there was this guy me and him got together in october, dating and cuddling and sex. i was shocked (he really is a sweet guy, i wouldnt describe him as manipulative at all) and i gently told him that i wasnt interested in a relationship with him, just an optimal friends with benefits, and that perhaps it might be a good idea to space out our hookups/not text each other 24/7 and limit our affectionate tendencies in order for this to be more fwb-like. don’t you want a relationship with someone who makes your relationship a priority? she saw me and him together once and he was upset she saw me. to me makes as much sense like saying: "gee, i really like strawberries, so lets not eat them for another 6 months. he said that he was more of an asshole than he used to be, but that it didnt mean he didnt care.” i could feel the tension rising and his nervousness so i put my hand on his chest, stroked his forehead and told him not to worry about it, that he didn’t have to think about it at that exact moment and just to relax. we had sex again and again there was more of a connection than the times last year. we became friends and hang out with the same circle of friends often. you’re investing a lot in this relationship, and you need to know asap whether he is doing the same thing. normal everyday conversation consists of me sharing while he says nothing. he would sometimes talk about his frustration with his backa nd forth ex, which i really couldn’t care less about. so off to work i went and he texts me asking me back over.. also he always encourages me to meet other guys but if i do anything with any one else he gets so upset. and after a month spending time together and being intimate it is completely reasonable to have that conversation. seems to try to break away from me every 4 weeks, but keeps coming back. and you should reserve the right to do the same thing. he asked me to go to a concert with him next week that's out of state, said that i should come and there's room in his car for me. may be too early to ask him if you’re “the one” but if you’re having sex it is certainly not too early to ask, “how do you see me?” however, there’s a very wide berth between hooking up and getting married, so there’s nothing wrong with getting a little deeper into things if you are feeling more intensity. i don’t need a commitment, but i also don’t need a broken heart…. reading this i was thinking about a guy i have been seeing, in a casual, physical manner (sporadically over long time), but last time i saw him things went different. new year's eve rolls around and we spend it together, he kisses me at midnight, then tells me his resolution is to be celibate for awhile, but he invites me to stay the night (which i declined due to work in the morning). but a few times and especially when he was leaving he seem rejected and offended that i only wanted him as a fb. he just never texts me anymore unless i text him first and then it isn’t a long convo. i understood and we hooked up but at the same time it didn’t feel like just a hook up. since then, i look great, i work out everyday, i watch what i eat, i have learned to protect myself agains the mental and psychological abuses of my husband and in november we will be divorce. untill now, i messaged him to see how he’s doing. my gut has been right well over 95% of the time in my life, and i just can’t help but get the feeling this thing was over before it even started. if i may, i perhaps even post an up-date in the future if there are further developments. he told me he liked me, and everything was fine. we both go to the same university, are from the same state and hometown and have several mutual friends. irks me were instances of when we agreed on an outing, but he did not show nor canceled nor called. i couldnt, and i was so scarred, and i told my guy – we had a online chat – he told me i should have taken him off life support. (he never tried to go further) the other night i went to his party and he asked me to stay the night. he ended up cooking my fajitas and made me a homemade cake which he pointed out he had never done before for anyone. so about a month and a half ago i met this kid at work who is honestly my perfect match. my problem is he seems to be giving me mixed signals, because we have such a clear communication on what is best for our situatuation, but he is acting and treating me differently than just a hook up..He told me he would come to meet me in the evening with our few mutual friends, but fell a sleep and didn’t make it. don’t delay – ask him the next time you’re together., i have read a lot of your posts and seems as though hook up situations can be very confusing lol. i have mixed feelings myself, but i want something more than casual- i would like to be exclusive, hang out more, and get to know hm better. wouldn’t worry about this – the idea of “dating” as a long-term pattern of actually going on dates is almost unheard of in american colleges today. my friends told me to let it go and/or just follow my heart but not to listen to anyone, just myself. i told him if it counted or anything i had spent all day thinking of ways to bond with his daughter and he told me that that meant alot. went to see him with the strength to not hook up with him and i fell week and we did. first, let me just say that there is no way you can blow it with a woman by staying out late and letting her stay over. he gets upset still though if i go out with friends or if he finds out another guy is interested in me. i still like him, but i’m not sure if i should talk to him again or if i was really just a one time thing for him. we haven’t really gone on many dates, but we hook up and sleep together on the regular now. so i told him i need time to get over it and he apologized for hurting my feelings.: guess this just means we need to see each other more often 🙂. he has introduced me to every friend, and took me out to several dinners. met up with a guy last weekend that i know casually from church. if you do wind up in the same place, you can pursue the relationship. tell him how you feel and see if he feels the same way.  its also important to know that i initiated the fwb arrangement as i am tired of being lonely, thought he is sexy/attractive and he’s always been kind to me. i want him to be into me more than that… i can see him as a future boyfriend or something serious. if he comes around with concrete, tangible interest and follows through, then you can think about what it means. thanks for posting this site – i’ve been reading up on a ton of info on the web as this is my first fwb arrangement (i’m 28! he told me that i had already said otherwise and now he wanted to see things out with her. he has literally had trouble fitting you into his schedule and has admitted that even close family members feel that he doesn’t make time for them. over a year has gone by and he finally sends me an email, but he didn’t say anything, just sent me a link he wanted me to see about his experiences there. when he left on friday he knew i would be away all this week and asked me if i was able to be online and talk to him when i’m gone. at any time either of you could meet someone you like more. but isn’t that the moment when you don’t care what others think anymore, and you say how you really feel? i didnt even notice him honestly, and he grabbed my attention and seemed really surprised & energetic. sometimes i think he really wants a relationship, and then he will do something that just indicates the opposite. he tried to find time to make friend and hang out with me but i was very busy with school and other things. he was always very sweet and very focused on me, telling me how beautiful i am and that he can’t believe i would be with him, etc. so i didnt hear from him over the whole summer saw him a few times around the neighborhoods but that was it. we (me and my friend) have been talking a lot lately, even before we hooked up. him kept saying he is coming to me but always something came up and could not make it., i would first like to start with acknowledging the fact that this site is great and at the moment i am very appreciative of it! so we started play wrestling and tickling each other and ended up hooking up. started to hook up 1-2 times a week for a month and a half now, without sex though. he’ll bring me my favourite candy on a study date) he is territorial – much of his facebook has to do with me, which is more or less a public indicator of all the time we spend with each other (his ex has taken note 🙁 she has expressed her dislike at the situation – shes not over him) most importantly, if another guy starts flirting with me he will get concerned and interrogate (and plays it off humourously – “designed to elicit information” hits the nail on the head perfectly) i have a best guy friend at university who’s girlfriend happens to be my best friend back home (the three of us are really close) i have to convince my guy frequently that i dont have feelings for my best friend, and the one time that the two of them chatted with each other, my guy acted rather hostile to my best friend. i thought he’d never contact me again and i didn’t care since after he invited me to go out, i said i didn’t want a relationship. i have learned to sometimes just let things sort themselves out: i. in fact, he wanted me back over tonight after he went to the movies. i need to spend the night alone” and walked me back to my own place, though texting me on and off to make sure i was okay. he came round about 9pm ish, we chatted, got fruity chatted more got very fruity & had mindblowingly good sex a number of times. he wasn’t looking for a relationship he just got out one at the time and so did i, but we hang out a lot still do til this day. kind of talked off and on since then because we were both busy with end of school/finals and such and somehow we got to talking and agreed we would take it a step further and hook up. well he ended up moving 2 hours away for a job and we text all the time and he says he wants me to move there with him and keeps asking and asking. my mind says no but my heart and soul tell me there’s something in this still. Capricorn man dating a pisces woman

UNPOPULAR OPINION: Forehead Kisses Are Not Romantic

has said that he likes me, finds me very attractive, said he likes spending time with me.’m a guy and most of this sounds like total bs to me. now, he was not married at the time he first began pursuing me- he broke up w/ his now wife, for a time, in order to do it, but then, a few months later, decided to marry her because he accidentally knocked her up. he has never said if he likes me or not and i cant figure it out. some of his friends were casually talking and they included me in their conversation right away. the next day he went back home and now things have gone completely way out of hand,he is sending me videos,romantic love songs,calling me 3 times in a day,even more wanting to know where i am or my plans for a day and he is trying so bad to know more about my family but in a cleaver way and everytime i changed the subject he finds a way to sink me in into it again. know this forum is intended for girls, but i feel that you could probably help shed some light on my situation. i met with no response, so why’d he ask me then? other day he told me he cancel his online account (dating website) because he didn’t want to pay again, i try to access his profile and its true, is not active anymore.’m sorry to be harsh, but i have seen literally dozens, even hundreds of women convince themselves that guys care using this kind of evidence, only to learn that none of it meant a thing. entire week, he didnt text me, not even when the weekend came. i was touching him (down there) and he told me to stop. i didnt ask for his number b/c i was nervous the next day when i left but i stayed over there until late the next afternoon and he drove me 30 minutes home to my house made comments the whole way that he hopes there was traffic so he could spent more time w/ me ect. american men often confuse the heck out of me, but i can't see myself taking intercontinental flights just so i have a lovely relationship with a suitable man. you need to know asap so that you can keep your level of involvement equal to his. about a week ago he left my place in the morning (and at thus time we hadn’t slept together yet) he texted me asking how i feel about him and if i’m falling for him. listen, i agree that you are getting super mixed messages. if he does reply, and wants to go out, tell him that sunday is now booked (at this point, he shouldn’t have a random-access claim on your time hours in advance).“i met this guy a month ago and he has become my fwb. at the end of the work day, i asked him if there was something wrong and he seemed really embarassed. me and this guy were talking, hoping we could be more while getting to know eachother, i really liked him, i felt i more then liked him. the routine usually went like this: come over for dinner, cook, watch a movie, go to “sleep”, cuddle a ton, actually sleep, wake up together, cook breakfast together (the whole time he would always touch me and be affectionate while we were cooking together and give me kisses etc). did i mention he referred to us as an “intimate relationship? i just said no and asked why he ignored me.,After we had sex i told him that he should consider himself “lucky” b/c i’m very picky with who i choose to hook up with. and from what i’ve seen, guys usually are not the ones to bring this up – it’s pretty well understood that women generally want a commitment, and the guy decides. i don’t know what the outcome will be, or exactly what i am doing writing about it on this post, but if there is a voice out there that can offer my heavy heart and soul some words of wisdom, i would certainly listen. the first night my friend came, he wanted me to bring him something he had left at my house as an excuse for a quickie. i don’t think i’m really ready for a serious relationship but am not real good at this “hooking up” thing. i originally found this article because a few of his friends have told me he’s “in love with me,” whatever that means. and he hides his feelings well, so instead of just waiting to talk to him in person i spoke before i thought and sent him an email telling him that i just didn’t want to just hook up everytime i saw him, i wanted to know what was on his mind. i thought we should probably get onto the same page about this. i’m sure he is eager to get some sexual experience, but you are correct to be suspicious of his motives.  this past friday, i made a move on him, and to my surprise, was blown away when he told me how extremely attractive it was that i was going after what i wanted. if he wants to make the commitment, that this is something real and serious, and that you are going to be in each other’s lives, you will embark on a whole new relationship that should include a lot more than being in bed together. if this is a case of arrested development, you’d be better off ending it. all of our texts had a purpose usually) but there would be some flirty moments of courseso this time i initiated the date- asking and we planned the place and everything together. he introduced me to his best friend and the three of us hungout for a bit. also think about whether you are capable of being anyone’s sex buddy without developing feelings – most women aren’t. day i'm gushing to a coworker about boy a, this guy that i've been in love with since i was 13 and as i'm telling her about it he chats me on facebook. if not, how can i keep him interested in me?. i’m scared, what if he rejects meeting me, or what if he said he doesn’t know what to say anymore or anything. why not just mention that things have felt really different recently and you wonder what it means? i care about him immensely, and i dont want to hurt him. he apologized for the late response and hopes everything is well with me. the fact you’re turned upside about this tells me you very much do want a romance with this guy, you can call that “rushing into something” or whatever but you don’t have to rationalize that you don’t want to “rush. so i did and he ended up coming over the next night and we watched a movie and ended up hooking up. do you think he just not ready yet to introduce me to his friends or family or that he is just not thinking about it… im confuse cause i don’t know the rules of dating… i don’t know when do you become the girlfriend or if guys even ask this days… help! at the end of the date, he walked me to my car and i said so “i had a lot of fun, you should give me a call” he replied “i had fun too but you seem to have a busy week” and i said well how about next sunday? i’ve known him for 3 months now, and in the beginning, he told me that we could only be friends, that he likes me but his “gut” tells him we could never be together, that there is a difference between liking and being in love. susan,here is my situation…………i`ve met a guy on a dating website,he lives in another country but that its not a problem for our casual relationship because he always comes to where i am for business,twice a month. and in any event, women “growing on” men usually happens when it’s a friend – not someone a man is having flingy sex with. he hasn’t ever really declined unless he has other plans or something, but i am wondering if it could possibly be one-sided. you might have guessed, i am beyond early college years, (we both are in our mid-40's) – but as far as catching onto to american mannerism between men/women, i am a bloody virgin. he would tell me about his past and ask about mine (which i didn’t even want to talk about). j/k, just send some xxx’s my way; those can stay up here a lot longer than your fingers, haha! he moved back to his parents house, just 8 hrs away from where i live and a few days later on new years eve/day, he spent hours just texting me and focusing on me while at a party when most people would be having fun and just partying the night away. next day he tells me about a girl he’s arranged a date with.. you start off by telling me that you and this guy were very flirty when you were married and he was in a relationship with the mother of his child. we decided to meet up, he seemed pretty intent to have sex with me and i was horny so i agreed. second time we hooked up we woke up the next day at 7am and just cuddled and kissed in bed until 3pm, talking about everything. it didn’t work out and as soon as he found out he asked if he could come see me….” i said i guess i would and he said well, you never know you might find a man, fall in love, get married, and move to somewhere like ______”. which i feel isn’t showing he really likes me back. i played it very cool until a week after i became very upset. i met a guy first semester of my freshman year in college. they broke up two months later because she didn’t like his relationship with me and then cheated on him. he is affectionate- kisses me hello, holds my hand, calls me hun and baby. maybe it was his charger left home… a crazy week, i don’t know, but even the tone of his texts is more formal, yet interested. remember, men can compartmentalize b/w hooking up and love. hang out and watch movies together, as well he cuddles with me and holds my hand, i do not want to read too much into it, so could you shed some light on this? you are concerned about things that you should be concerned about, and that is good, because you are unlikely to spend much time with a man who cannot deliver what you want. i told him that guy friend was coming and staying with me ahead of time. ps yo u should sleep over some time 🙂 i would love to spend an entire night with you but anyways good night. you give hints that say no, but something about your manner or body language says yes! when we are together in his room hanging out he compliments me and he is always so cute- and we don’t always hook up sometimes we just talk and cuddle. this shocks me since we just had the conversation we did and we get in a fight about it. his “girlfriend” is the same girl that he dated in college broke up with every other day and now she lives in europe (we live in the us). it means that every day or other day he’s sending a note.  i know this contradicts my first post a bit but whilst having the chat i realised i would rather keep it as it is for the time being than not have him and that now we have given it the fb lable i could remove my feelings from the equation……but i am not sure that he can, which is exactly where i was in the beginning, he seemed so dejected, he was joking and fooling around about it – laughing etc like he was really hurt and even said i am going home now to feel shit about this. most guys are suckers and come across as pretty desperate i guess. as a freshman, you’re already pulling girls so you will probably do well in the hookup scene. friends saw me meet this boy at a small get together and tell me they think he genuinely likes me but i feel that its because he is a lot nicer than my ex. a few weekends later we ran into each other at the bar again and all we did was just talk about where we went to school back home and got to know each other a little more, no dancing or anything that night. do you think something has shifted or am i being paranoid! he is always texting me, he tells me that he misses me through out the day, has a nickname for me, he comes over after he is done with work, picks me up from work sometimes, has introduced me to his daughter and close friends which he considers family. and of course now that we are sleeping together i’m getting all “girlie” lol please help me sort this out. met this guy in around january at an exhibition when he came with a friend of mine and as soon as i saw him i was attracted to him, and the more, as i talked to him. but i live with a strict father so the only time i get to see the guy is when i’m at home along and i can walk to his house and hangout with him. he still doesn’t talk to me as much as before (neither do i). he’ll kiss my forehead, carress my hair, hold my hand, kiss me, etc… and there’s the sexual parts too… but anyway, we’ve been real close since that very first day he called me. you: you say you want a relationship with him, but you’ve told him something different on several occasions. he took me to a movie, and ever since march we’ve been talking nearly every single day. more than that the truth is i’m overly analytical, like i’m the type to obsess over something and dissect it completely — like i literally cannot “go with the flow” — more than that i cant bring myself to ask him what is going on with him bc everytime the conversation moves that way he just avoids the question or manages to work around it.” i said i guess i would and he said well, you never know you might find a man, fall in love, get married, and move to somewhere like ______”. operating the marriage requires a lot of time and effort, and most men are pragmatic and want to build up other enterprises in their lives before they devote the bulk of their effort to that one. and he said we were exclusively seeing one another and only sleeping with one another)he wants to be introduced to my friends and hinted to me a few weeks ago “i think its really cool when a girl asks a guy out. i asked why he called me out of everyone else and he said because he wanted to see me. now not even a full week after we are both back on campus we were cuddling and watching a movie he tells me how he likes me as a “really good friend” i dont like the “just friends” thing… but he keeps saying “we’ll see” about me and him later on…(i am a bigger girl and im a bit clingy he wants me to give him space and lose weight. curious and feel the same way as he does, but he doesn’t seem to care. i agree that wanting to show her off is a strong sign that he’s very interested in something serious though. if he really had respected me and had feelings for me wouldn’t that question not make sense? i don’t consider myself the normal everyday kind of girl and i have always found it hard to find someone who really understands me. if he says “no relationship” i advise you to end it immediately, before you get even more hurt. he gets drunk and tells me that he can’t be with me and then apologises the next morning profusely begging that he hopes he hasn’t ruined his chances with me. if you like him, enjoy the time you spend with him, and let things develop naturally and without pressure. it would be a grave mistake to put your needs on the back burner while trying to meet his. when we stepped outside that night he kissed me for no reason, and when i asked he just said ” because i wanted to. that is not (as this rxxxx poster on some other tread on this site) me refusing or denying something against a man, but it is for me…. that’s how we fell asleep and he wrapped his legs between mine and spooned me the entire night. he left town, we havent seen each other for three weeks but he sends me almost every night a text [email protected] this case i have to follow my head and not my heart, i don’t speak to him or see him as much as i used, probably once every 2-4 weeks there has been times where i haven’t spoken to him for months and ever since i’ve distanced myself he has started to open up, when i do see him he keeps me there won’t let me leave sometimes i’m there for a couple of days. the other weekend i stayed fri and sat night there after we got food together, i was in florida last wknd and he called me while i was gone sat to tell me he had a bad night and we talked for a while, we made plans to hangout this past thursday to get ice cream and watch a movie and we met up last night and ended up going back to his house where i stayed the night and we hooked up…even when we hookup it feels like way more than that bc we cuddle before and after, etc. has burnt me in the past so i choose not to. from what i know he is a very or used to be a rather promiscuous men who “likes variety”. even bringing up stuff in the past that i told him because he remembers everything i tell him. anyway, we mutually decided to meet up for a few beers and just chat/get to know one another. so i say i’m housesitting and could use some company, and he says he’d love to and maybe keep me company all weekend. about a month later (april 2011) he told me we should stop hooking up because he was talking to a girl, mary, that he had stopped talking to in the fall for me and didn’t think it was fair. i mean, i really don’t know what to do! he offered to make me breakfast but i declined and left early in the morning. i did talk with him a few months ago and he talked to me like everything was fine and he wanted to joke with me about something we used to tease eachother about. my friends think im crazy and delusional that if we were meant to be together then we would be by now. i used to hook up with a guy that i had gotten to know a bit as friends first. i also think the guys at hus could be enormously helpful in giving you some guidelines about dealing with women. has just come out of a year and half relationship as well that was heading towards marriage but he cheated on her (not with me) by accident and she broke it off and it left him incredibly wounded.. ok, i understand what you’re saying, susan, thank you for your help:) i usually am direct with people, but find it extremely difficult to be direct with him; partly because of my attraction to him, but also partly because he’s very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily. becuase he feels threatend i guess and like he feels he’s losing me.. his failure to call when he had an emergency is inexcusable. he invited me over all the time to stay with him. he was always concerned about my feelings- even more than i was, so he was very aplogetic and seemed to want to be honest because guilt ruined him. the sooner you can cut yourself loose from any contact at all with him, the sooner you will feel open to meet someone who might be emotionally available. i’m not sure if i was used for a ride or if he actually likes me and really wants me to move up there or what. well now its my second year in college and we reconnected over the summer and have been texting and flirting. if he did get hurt by the previous gf, he may not be ready for another [email protected],if you mind me saying something – you know, technically he didn’t “stick around for a year” bc you guys technically didnt meet up or do anything solid, it was just back and forth texting — however the fact that youve hung out all summer and the fall before hooking up in november(was it? the past two months i’ve been hooking up with an old friend from high school. it sounds to me like you care a lot about him and would like to seriously date him. this was before i told him it was out of the country and not any guy around here) and even during the hook up he brought the guy up and he wanted to make sure that i didn’t have him in mind and that i didn’t think any guy was better for me than he was. used to text me maybe once a day… we wouldn’t text all day either it was just about classes or about something relevant at the moment (no “hey”. it started off by him always texting me, wanting to hang out. because of his work, he’ll be leaving in some months far and for very very long. when we came back to school, we hung out on that monday night and everything went back to normal., though, you’re facing the same problem so many young people face when they hit it off: an expiration date. he has told me about his past and he is defiantly experienced… lets just put it that way. the fwb code reframes that person as “in the wrong” for breaking the agreement, but it’s an agreement that can’t be legislated so to speak. he had a lot to tell me, but i guess never an excuse to talk again so i let him vent it out.

10 Signs That Your Hookup is Falling For You * Hooking Up Smart ,

Advice: Help! He Disappears, Doesn't Call, Pops Up Every Fortnight

felt like i had soo many questions and decided to send him an email basically telling him that what i wrote before wasn’t what i meant and what i meant was that i enjoyed our friendship before and i realize that i can’t do the in between because i can’t handle it and i have feelings. so now i realize that i have some feelings for him and i dont want it to just be sex, but i dont know if i should ask him how he feels straight out or what sort of signs i should look for…. like him alot, i’d love to have a commited relatioship with him and see where it went, he makes me laugh, when we talk on the phone i have an amazing grin on my face, he compliments me, says i look amazing, he can’t keep his hands off me, thinks about me all the time, up until sunday, used to text call all the time. he didn’t know i was coming over and seemed a bit caught off-guard. for the long post, but i’ve never quite been through something like this. everyone at work seems to think there’s something between us (or there should be something going on; since we really seem to be into each other). he tells me that sex isn’t the only reason he likes me, and thinks i’m a good person. i asked somebody was he dating someone to be curious because he shouldn’t be that close to me like he is.” and i responded stupidly because i guess i didn’t understand what he was saying so i responded with the city that i met up with him and he said the city and connected it with a country that had the same city that we were in. somehow i am drawn to him and i know i will not run a mile. do you think it’s now just a booty call or something more for him? he took me to dinner and invited me over for movies, and we basically had sex on the 5th day ( i made the first move). saw him a few days after that and we hooked up again. i’d encourage you to ask that sooner rather than later, because his being eager to meet up again for sex says nothing about having feelings. his body language was the same as when we initially began, very zoned in and focused on me, he’d brought up things that reminded him of me, and repetedly showed that he cared and approved of the little things he somehow knew i’ve been up to recently.. he told me that he’s not ready for a r/s and he doesn’t want to meet me up to talk about it because he claimed there is nothing to talk about. also, the last time that i saw him, i told him that i needed to leave at a certain time. the first day i met him there, he kept staring at me in an infatuated way, which was weird i thought. the past two months, he comes rushing in once per month, only to ignore me for the next 4 weeks, and as soon as he feels my distance, he comes rushing back, only to ignore me again for the next 4 weeks. it’s been a few weeks, so this particular situation may have resolved itself one way or another, but i do have some general advice for you moving forward.’s talking oneself into the rationality of the arrangement (neither of us have time for a relationship, don’t want to get tied down, what about my career, etc etc), the rational setting of boundaries (you don’t have to call the next day, sleeping over is optional, yada yada yada), the repeating of “there’s no place like home” (“it’s only sex, i’m not having any feelings for him/her,”) the admission that they’d love to have a real relationship, endless questions about what this or that semi-romantic gesture means (holding hands during sex, making breakfast, calling for no reason), barely repressed frustration at the tantalizing could-be’s. haven’t been to his apartment and he hasn’t been to mine either, we always met at a mall and go from there. i got to see him crying at work, it made me so sad.“i just don’t understand what is wrong with me since he apparently loves so many things about me yet wants nothing apart from spending time and bed.. but hes so hot and cold i dont know what to do… also when i see him again in a few months we plan on doing the usual hooking up. but regarding point 9 – wouldn’t it be very ambitious to expect him to drop every other girl and not have interest in others and go for me, when we haven’t gotten further than we have? had a couple girlfriends (one after the other) during this time. cut it short, we had a meal and drinks together that night, sat up until late, had sex and slept all hugging until i had to go to work. couldn’t explain it but just something about him somehow got me attracted to him.  we chatted for a long time about all of this, i think i mucked up a couple of times but hey we can only say what we do/don’t feel. he cuddles a lot in bed, to the point that he is always touching me. on my last night as he was dropping me off at home he said “not to miss him too much”. having a secret “relationship” kind of makes me nervous because most of his friends will never know i even hangout with him. i was going to the gay club with my friend and i asked him to come hang out with me; he did although he was very afraid at first so i gave him some credits for that. not asking you to glance into the crystal bowl, but perhaps some enlightening words on how to glean some sense from this behaviour? he wasn’t able to stay all night this time but he stayed for a while and we talked and he stroked my back.“im afraid to ask my friends about it bc i feel like they are judging me for kissing him/making out wednesday night and him not being my boyfriend. don’t try to be his friend – that just means more sex when he finds it convenient. then a few weeks later, i saw him at a music event again, he was very interested, we talked just for a bit and i could feel that he was watching me whole night. we havent been hooking up for long at all and im fine with the hooking up its fun for both of us. i don’t think he was saying that just to get me away. but after only the 2nd time we hooked up he was all cuddly and sweet and kissing me on my nose and forehead and said he liked me and even asked what my plan is for new year’s and it’s only august! he then said that he was a loser and going nowhere with his life and that i deserve someone better than him.  we chatted some more, then he said he had to leave and would text me., despite feminization of our society, men still understand marriage as a corporate enterprise, something that needs to be constantly pruned and recapitalized, one they are expected to head up, and an enterprise upon which they will be judged as men. this guy just wants the ego reinforcement of knowing you like him because he saw you as a challenge. don’t focus on the sex, focus on the friendship or attachment. before we hooked up, i asked him what his plans were then because he graduated that semester and he told me he was going to leave the country to teach english. i don’t think he drove down for another reason because his brother ended up going to visit his family for the holidays a few days after that so i took it that the main reason he came down was for me. for a month-plus of dating, that’s not a bad outcome (better to find out now than six months of hooking up later). (why she came to my room to cuddle i’d be massively confused about). to you to, i didn’t realize you had left a comment on this thread!“i truly like him, but i act a bit untamed at times”. i realized then that i don’t want to be that girl who gives years to a guy who decides late that she isn’t the right girl for him and leaves her and finds someone else.  he said he could never hate me if he loved me. he spent the night and stayed at my apartment while i went to work the next day…. the beginning it was kinda on and off, i stop talking to him for 3 weeks, i ignored his text messages until he called me and ask me for a second chance that he really miss me and wants to be with me so since that time its been steady.  this is the first time in 2 1/2months that he has not contacted me, no evening text or call and no morning text. that night when i got home i added the guy on facebook by accident because my friend was in the front of his default picture. yes, american men can be inconsiderate, and your response should be to tell him that is not acceptable, and that he may never do it again. hm, big surprise for me, he surely kept this a federal secret, but then again, leo's are trained to contain/conceal their feelings/emotions. he said i just dont want to hurt you and i dont want to get hurt, i know im very affectionate and that can be confusing but i guess iif you’re not thinking about any of that then were on the same page. are easy together, have so much fun every time and we do the whole sit to watch movies, go out to eat, take walks and show pda…he’s never raised his voice at me or hurt me in any way. don’t know why he wouldn’t just leave me alone instead of dragging everything up. as much as these words make me cringe it’s turned into making love. truth is that in this smp many guys are not interested in a long night of cuddling with some groping thrown in., came into my life… i am so heartbroken, because i don’t know what a wants.. he told me held feelings for me since the first year of college.’ve been trying to let this go and i found your website and decided to just get it out one time in hopes of finally having some clarity! gets jealous whenever i text someone or someone texts me. if you want to be dating “out in the world” and not in his room, what you can do is lead that kind of life regardless of whether he comes along – plays, music events, art shows, pep rallies, sports, mixers, you get the idea. he brings and leaves stuff at my apartment…my problem is i’m too afraid to tell him how i feel. he can’t tell me he sees me in the future but he also doesn’t deny it. he asked lots of questions about me, my life, family and education, which he’s never done before. two of his friends that i know of, know of me. we sit next to each other 8 hours a day at work and hang out sometimes on our spare time, whether it be weekends or weekdays. we’ll jump ahead a bit and basically ever since then… we hung out all the time. besides, he’s a pretty reserved guy, i can never know how he feels about me. the third time we were cuddling at his house we ended up sleeping together. we talked about the lack of time issue and i said well if i met someone i really wanted then i suppose i’d make time for them and that obviously i haven’t met that person yet, he then asked if i’d have a relationship with him, i said yes he asked why and i said cos we get on really well, he is my kinda normal with good values/morals etc and the sex is great. just because you don’t see him with lots of other girls doesn’t mean he doesn’t have something else going on or wouldn’t jump at the chance if a hot new girl fell into his lap. are 24, you do not have the time to waste on a complete dead end like this. far as your points go:He did look me in the eyes, kiss my face, very attentive, held my hand during and after sex, and in the ride back in the car. we never actually dated, probably because he is two years younger than me so i felt weird about it or something.” and when i answer “you just want me to miss you and like you, which doesn’t mean i do” he would say “yes”.” i tried to pursue the topic further by asking why he cares about my happiness all of a sudden, nothing seemed to stop him from meeting other girls just two months ago. also mentioned to me that he can’t tolerate cheaters because both wives cheated on him and he caught them in the act. one night he took me to a party and when we left we were alone in his care and we um… well you know :p i felt a bit bad because i didn’t want to begin it like that. i realize that im sending him very mixed signals too but its bc im s cared he doesnt feel the same way. susan,i met a guy at a party a few weeks ago, and recently we’ve been chatting online.– tells me what type of woman he wants to marry, why he thinks the world of his amazing sisters, his career dreams and his future goals for his future children (seriously).. but i’m really at lost here, and i don’t know what to do :'( please help me it sucks. we dated and he asked me out and i turned him down. i am scared of putting so much energy into this awesome but temporarily insecure guy. i saw him in a different light when he came back. because i want to be his girlfriend, but he said he needed time to make the decision himself without me forcing him into it. we like each other and he mentions he sees me as a friend but his actions says another. he told me he just wanted to be single, he told me i deserved better.. my ex) he’ll tell me that he doesn’t want to know or he’ll playfully make fun of the guy.” [he said he places a premium on looks, which was his basic criteria for all his previous relationships, but in my case hes attracted to my entire personality] there was one occasion where i was really angry about having to walk a few kilometers in the freezing cold and bitching about it so he called me a cab and arranged for it to drive us home. i also don’t want to be too availablee too soon and be hanging out all the time right away. he finally brought up his family to me for the first time the last time i saw him, which he has never done that before (i loves his family dearly and are very close). first few times together were kinda that “booty call” sex, but then it has kinda shifted to more passionate, almost intimate sex.. i left him our last night thinking everything was straightened out and we were fwbs only no more but he randomly texted me “have you been hooking up with anyone since you’ve been home? we share alot of the same interests, but i don't quite understand his angle or what he wants. i still haven’t met his family or friends and he hasn’t ask me to be his girlfriend. i facebook messaged him saying sorry and thank you for what he has done for me. i would definitely recommend not wasting any time on it – and you should be aware of any red flags. he tried to make plans for when to meet again and he’s been quite active on the phone later and asked me to prolong my stay in town to meet again. think this is a case of both us us exhibiting the principle of least interest and it’s driving me insane. but then he spends all this time with me and makes out with me but doesnt try to have sex? this 2nd time he kissed me on the cheeks several times after making out and in the morning. to me, it seemed like he cared a great deal about me. and i know how much it seems like he just came to me because he knew i'd say yes, and i feel like shit about that. do i wait it out and eventually embrace he’s just not that into me? i met him almost a year ago and he liked me right from the start, but unfortunately i was still not over another guy. he took me out to dinner for the first time. asked me if i’d flashed my breasts at him…. except this time i put my hands down his shorts. i would put it on hold and risk this opportunity if it was more clear this is heading towards something more. he got serious and said he wasn’t like him, and continued to ask if he could kiss me. he didn’t want to see me or have nothing to do with me. if he still wants to come around, and you think you want something more than casual sex, i’d try and schedule time to hang out without sex. a part of me feels he’s genuinely interested but doesn’t want anything too serious right now just got out of a year long relationship late in the summer) which is why he’s not pushing to have sex with me. do not meet during the day, due to our schedules not matching up. so school was soon over and i stopped going a week before school turned out and he wasnt aware of me doing it but i didnt think he would care. we met on fb but we seen eachother around as well as have mutual friends. i urge women to wait for someone who will make his interest and intent clear.. and then we hung out for a the rest of the night and i slept over with him (no sex, but we hooked up) (i had gotten locked out of my dorm and he said i could sleep with him). as soon as i avoided him for a while he came running back in my face. men and women both hope for it and are both wrong. i do get to every question from readers, but i receive many emails and requests for advice – it can take me a while to dig out. or he has a fear of commitment/doesn’t want to get hurt? evolution does indeed happen 🙂i am so happy that you are sharing all this with many women / men who are stopping by this website.'m okay with keeping things casual, a really serious relationship doesn't sound too appealing to me either at this point in my life, but i think i'm due at least the respect of exclusivity. yet i wonder if he does this to every girl he hooks up with.” you’re having sex, you certainly have every right to understand what it means to each of you. this guy gives me crazy mixed signals and it is hard for me to tell whether he likes me as more than just a friend. i sensed that he was happy to see me and at least still attracted. generally speaking, women see marriage as a social proof enterprise, a demonstration of their successful hypergamy (“i’ve been chosen! he then told me that he wanted me to find someone else and i told him i didn’t want anyone else. there is nothing good that can come of this “friendship. it just doesn’t work to spend this kind of time together and have no idea what the other person is thinking, especially if you find yourself bonding with him..I have never believed hook ups would lead to something and have had longterm relationships for a long time, so i had never really had to come across with this situation until a short while ago.. i dont know why i am telling u to i really dont know’ i didnt reply and he kept messaging me saying please reply and then he called me but i told him i dont want to argue and fight and to please talk about any thing else but not why he keeps encouraging me to hook up. somehow the chemistry grew between us and we ended making out on my bday. i was afraid he wouldnt want to talk to me.

JAY-Z – What More Can I Say Lyrics | Genius Lyrics

he looked over at me and smiled the cutest smile ever. i eventully dumped my bf and told him that asked if he still want be with me had suppose be meeting him that weekend as i had told him that planned to end it with bf which i did but then he said he was busy and said he had went to ireland on wesday was gonna be back on monday away as needed a break suppsely family problems was getting to him but did not tell me what so i left few msgs then did not heard much back until friday night had asked if i wanted meet him the next day near where i live and if wanted to be with him then that was fine so i said i did and went meet him went for a walk hold my hand and had kiss but ended up went back to his house spent weekend there sat watch tv offered to buy me food for dinner but did not know what wanted so got an takeaway things seemed fine watched tv ended up in bed still kissed and hugged me but mostly i had do it first said i should go home on fri night late on as i had not told my mum about us know i was seeing someone but thought it was an friendship i did not like the idea and i felt like he was trying get rid of me so then on saturday i was in bad mood asked me what was up said nothing then kept asking said i had wanted to stay said it made sense to go home and tell mum and that he would try see me next weekend so we went for a walk and then i was suppose to go home but could see i was still mad so end up he said i could stay though was like i don’t know if got enough food for us both(was near a shopping centre and i know he had some food in it) but he said ok can stay and went and got some food though he seemed abit less affectionate but still was some affection but he kept txting said was woman friends but it was annoying as was most of night until later on he turned off phone went to bed hugged into him watched tv went to sleep odd kiss hug etc so then on sunday i was still abit mad as did not say anything about the txts though could see i was mad kept asking what was wrong said nothing eventully gave up and did not kiss or hug me until i kissed him so went out for a walk then pretty eary he said i should go home coz of buses and such gave me an hug and kisses before i got on train said see me later though still don’t txt me unless i txt him speak mostly on msn i have asked him if he thinks moved to fast or what he thinks about me says that ive to stop worrying we don’t really talk about much but when together he will make jokes and tease me very touchy feely in public but never really said he liked me or said i look good or such asks odd time how iam, what been up to though since sunday not been on msn much as he says he has family thing to sort out and could take all week txt him a few times txted bk but never txts me first or never has called me sorry for long msg but basically do you think this guy is interested in me or just after sex ? sure enough i got sent a letter from him a month later explaining that this is just a break like in rom-coms where he will have his fun and realise in 5 years time that i really am the one. even after that convo, we were infatuated so quickly and so much that we met up, he took it back and apologized (this was after a couple days and a couple drinks) cause he couldnt deal with how much he liked me.  he thinks about me everyday and really misses me when we dont get the chance to catch up but its ok cos when we do its so much better. he holds me and sleeps next to me when we have sex he wants me to get off at least 2-3 times before he even wants to have sex as in oral sex and then spends more time focused on me again not complaining just curious as to what it could mean. when i tried to ask him the same he skirted around it then said no. than, there was zero communication bc i didnt want to initiate again bc it seemed he didnt want to talk to me. i think about him all the time and miss him like crazy. if he still says he doesn’t want anything serious, and says to let him know if you decide you want to stop, then he is clearly signalling that he has no intention of making a commitment. i can honestly see he genuinely cares deeply about me. i’ve had opportunities to be in relationships with other men, committed ones, but i’ve all but chased them away because they don’t compare to him. of course he’s in no hurry, but it’s different for women., during the winter break he started flirting with me a lot and i flirted back. he’s also mentioned on more than one occasion that he’s moving to the city where i live but that there’s been a bit of delay. night i returned we met up, and i asked him what was up. bring it up next time you see him, and say that you don’t want to be demanding or a nag but you’d like to talk to him on the phone (make it sound like something you’d enjoy rather than a demand on his time). on the other hand, he is an absolute gentleman, it could be something expected from him a friend said. thank you for your help 🙂oh and i forgot to say, concerning the ‘hooking up’, it wasn’t just a physical thing. i want is to keep it casual,that was the agreement from the start and we made it clear,over and over again. my facial expressions can be easily read and he could tell right away if i liked or didn’t like something and he right away changed it up and made it better. finally, i had to go and while he was walking me out, he turned and asked me “where are we? he made me feel like he really likes me and he knows i like him and i don’t understand why he is acting the way he is. i like this guy and i just want to know if he likes me back. if they hit on me, she tells me that he gets really jealous and the look on his face is like he’s gonna kick their ass." you definitely need to know if he's hooking up with others girls, especially if you are having sex. i guess my question really is, just because he’s not ready for any sort of commitment now does that mean he won’t be in time? a couple of months at the end of last year i hooked up with this guy a few times. that most definitely adds a complication – guys are extremely susceptible to feeling like failures with any kind of sexual dysfunction.  he proceeded to apologise and ask if i could forgive him, i replied that i would but that i was not sure i could mea meaningless f*** anymore as i had developed some feelings and thought we should end it before i got hurt.’m going to be frank, it sounds like you guys are just placeholding for each other until one or both of you find someone else to really connect with. and suddenly he emailed me on fb and told le to text him. to some men, getting married is not so much a “commitment” as it is a resignation, a statement that “i’ve had enough variety. i was worried he would stop hanging out with me when i gave him that answer … but if anything, he has been more caring and thoughtful since that happened. also as he works for me we are together all day (it is only a two person office). your own behavior strikes me as irresponsible and shady as well – have you thought about the effect of all of this on the daughter? i realized that day that i’ve never met anyone just so similar to me. he’s responded civilly in person but hardly got back to me via other types of communication i. and since i’m so insecure on this subject i’ve never felt he was really into me but strangely, now sometimes, i can feel his interest – i’ve noticed he seems more attentive and i catch him staring at me more frequently. even though you say you’d rather not know what he’s up to, at some point you will know, and it may be hurtful. he has told me that he finds me to be very provocative and he’s used the word cute. he would take me to movie, go out to play pool with me, introduce me to his dad when i came over, be willing to cook for me (because i cooked for him and i guess he wanted to return the favor), and ask me to stay the night with him. i suggest that you tell him exactly what you said to me. we made out, and afterward he gave me his #, and for the next few days he kept in touch. when i say i've seen how he looks at me i mean i see longing, like he wants to get closer but something is holding him back. i don’t really have any doubts that he is interested in me, and likes me, but i want to know how to realize if he is in it for sex, or for more. that is something way out of character for me, but it just sorta happened., he might think you are not a girl for a "one and done" hookup. he continually came to my side and engage in the conversation i was having (or just stood there by me) or he offered to get me a drink (even though he knows i don’t drink); he even walked me to get a taxi (even though nothing happened there – he seemed to be somewhat scared). generally don’t put any time or energy into platonic friendships with women. i have never heard of a woman wanting casual sex with the same person over a period of time without catching some kind of feelings. i’ve been being chased by this guy i know, for a couple years now, and although, at first, i liked him, after a few months, decided that he was not for me, and short of telling him bluntly, “give it up, i’m not interested”, i’ve dropped every subtle– and obvious– hint that i can think of.  am i that daft, have i been played or is there more to this than meets the eye. we often told eachother how much we really liked eachother throughout the whole hooking up, and it is safe to say the emotions were very overwhelming and surprised me.: haha well if u can find the time stop by borrego 2nd, im the only one herethis is when i get annoyed. not a fan of that and makes me think twice about him anyway. although, once after a fight he said that it hurts, cause probably he has feelings for me. he shows some of the above signs but im still in the dark. doubt it’s true that he had never thought about it when you asked him, but obviously didn’t want to get into a heavy conversation about it at that time, particularly if he was unsure of your feelings. i explained to him that anthony had advised me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship at this time and he was shocked and also proud that he seems to be changing and he then said to me well my brother is a great catch don’t let him go. upshot of this is that men don’t typically consider who they want to marry until they’ve decided they actually want a marriage itself. i just get somewhat offended when he does not answer, as it feels disrespecful, but i can clearly see he wants to rule the pace, perphaps to really get the idea whether this is worth or not rather than jumping into it. it is confusing because before i gave into hanging out with him, as more than friends, it was always him texting me asking to hang out. never defined our relationship, although he asked me once if i am using him just for sex and i said no. he admitted he was a little tipsy, but not much and said that he liked that i was sober (we used to hook up sober and drunk). one week we'll be at a party and he'll show interest in me, talk to me a lot, have his arm around me infront of everyone, ask me to stay over. anyway, i’m wondering if i should expect that he’ll want to keep seeing me in the fall, and if he does have any feelings for me. to me like you are in the awkward and unpredictable stage of figuring out whether and how you will transition from a few dates to actually dating. why should she bond with you when you are a booty call and he is dating other women? now i don’t know when am i going to see him because he didn’t mention anything. ive been running a google search on ‘how to tell if your fwb/hookup is into you’ and voraciously trying to find some kind of relevant commentary on my situation 🙁 i noticed in the comments that you have been so generous to assess personal issues, and so i was hoping you could help me out with a current issue im facing- i would appreciate any and all help, thank you! my guy refers to it as ‘university dating’ (which is scary in itself, because that means he thinks that’s what we are doing as well) me and my guy were discussing it and he said “if he liked her hed let her know it, he would man up and ask her out before he lost her” and i said “but then again who would want to date their fuck buddy” and he says “you wouldn’t? it is after then that he kissed me and i met his family…so i take he was positive about it.  we rescheduled again for the last day of classes before thanksgiving break, and he cancelled on me again. i'm falling for my hookup and i'm sure if he's falling for me. do some guys do all of the above simultaneously with several women? since then, we have hung out a couple times (during the weekends because we both have careers) and i can’t figure out his motives. it still felt the same like before but what had changed is he doesn’t want me with anyone else. you give me an example of what should i say? i don’t consider myself the normal everyday kind of girl and i have always found it hard to find someone who really understands me. so i met this guy 6 yrs ago in college, wasn’t really attracted to him and didn’t really say much to him at all and then one day it just hit me. susan,i met this guy about a month ago, we meet on a dating website.. we are now a part once again in different countries but he still texts me every day and calls me at least twice or thrice a week and we have phone sex, and once when he called me drunk he told me he doesnt want to have sex with any one but me and how much he misses me… but after that he kinda backed off and the past couple of days after he said that while drunk i think he got embarrassed bcos he’s just been texting me with no intimate talk like before. and i said a little joke that would let him know that i was a dang good friend and he better feel lucky to have me as one! thank you so much for showing the light to so many women all over the world. he still wanted to talked to me but i needed time and after a few days, i initiated the conversation to let him know that i got over it and that we could talk. he smiles at me when i look back at him and it makes me feel quite embarrased :o also after we have sex he wants to hold me and kiss me, he wants to make conversation afterwards also. ale: we never actually “hooked-up”, and thank god for that. of my friends suggested to just ask him to kiss me! after 5-6 dates we have not be “physical” yet, apart from some kissing, as he seems respecful and somewhat conservative. i understand there’s an element of the forbidden here, and that is very enticing, but a secret relationship can’t really grow in a healthy way, and secret fwb? we’ve met on another birthday the following week and he seemed really ‘friendly’ (even flirty, i guess). i drunkenly lost my v and i was unable to finish which i was sure was primarily due to my intoxication at the time. we started hanging out a lot this summer and he seemed as if he liked me. kissed passionately…(no sex, nor did he pressure or ask me for it unlike our first date when we kissed and he sort of “tested” me and asked if wanted to spend the night). at the time he was in a relationship and so was i. he contacted me everyday until we finally hung out and it was like we’ve known eachother for years. it’s essential that you understand that, so that you don’t make the same mistake again. i went home and talked to my best friend who told me i was being pussie wipped and talked me into trying to hook up with someone else. i talk about him, we spend time together, go out, eat, do the dirty, talk, yadda. for leaving a comment, i appreciate your taking the time to visit several of my posts! two days after we broke up, boy a chats me up inquiring about my recent single status and makes plans to hang out with me the next day. i don’t hear often from women that guys have been pursuing for two years. i really do like him and he appears to like me but i dont want to push him away by making him think i am wanting more or moving to fast does it appear he is devloping feelings or am i simply over reacting or mis reading the situation? so i acted like i didnt fancy him like everyone else which i think is why he showed me some interest from the start.! its a great feeling to know that are people out there that take the time to help women like us, who are confuse and maybe need to boost our confidence. the other night, i picked up a pizza and went to his place to get some studying done- which did happen, but again, one thing led to another. is this a communication issue, or does this indicate a noncommitment from one or both of us? i showed hesitency just because the situation to me is weird but whatever. you find out it wasn’t dating when he hooks up with someone else, which is his right if there was no official commitment. cannot peg this situation… the smarter part of me feels that i should end this now before future hurt, but the unwise part wants to continue, because this feeling i get with him is like a high i cannot control. he holds me as if he really cares about me. i am relatively new to this whole hook up/fwb thing and i need some objective advice. it doesn’t need to be hostile, just an honest statement that the fwb is not working for you anymore. hope he gets the proper help and a sincere look within himself)i am learning that there is some …. but all that time he was more than obviously staring at me in a way that suggested he found me attractive. and we didn’t have sex, but while we were hooking up he was clearly focused on me. and i just felt like it's not that he didn't want a girlfriend, he just didn't want me as his girlfriend and it's just so hard to wrap your head around something like that. he said he likes me, lvoes spending time with me, etc etc, but a relationship would not be wise as our future is so uncertain (i may have to leave the country in a few months for school and he is also not sure where he will be). they said yeah he suppose to be with her (they told me who she was) but he didnt claim her. i say i’m confused cause sometimes all he wants to do is talk about sex.,i am having a major issue right now that is completely stressing me out in a time that i don’t need stress.” the result was always the same: only fwb or spending time together, cuddling until one of us finds someone else. we have hung out several times since and he hasn’t made a move, drunk or sober and our friends have been teasing me about the fact that we hooked up and asking whats up (we used to hide it before). making out with somebody you’ve gone on a couple of dates with and/or hung out with just the two of you is not abnormal or slutty behavior. the entire vegas trip he was looking out for me and really sweet, telling me how pretty i looked every night and mentioning that we had hooked up by making jokes in front of people.)i guess it’s unfair to accuse you of this, but there’s a meme floating around young women who have seen too many rom-coms that the man’s attraction is static, and she can dither, flake, even date other guys, and expect that when she’s finally ready for him, he’ll still be there ready to pursue again until she feels like saying yes.. :'( i don’t know how to ask him to meet me since he didn’t want to at first..So we started dating a little after halloween, and i know he def likes me bc from the beginning, he made all the first moves, asking for my number, texting me, and asking me out. long story short, the marriage went downhill, and 3 years into the marrige and 75 added pounds on my 5′ 2 body a man 11 years my junior befriends me at work. susan, i’d like to ask something regarding this r/s i have with this guy. i don’t sleep around, but it was so difficult for me to keep my hands off of him. he kissed me goodbye a few times deeply before he got out. it sounds like the two of you are not compatible, or it would have worked the first time. regarding your list – if by “falling for” you mean falling in love, i think that might be a bit soon in my case. susan,so i met a guy a couple months ago and we had been talking regularly for about a month. susan 🙂 okay so i’ve met this guy recently and i took his virginity and he keeps saying ”how special it was to him and he’s glad he lost it to me” he said he also had butterflies when we spent the day together and mentioned how he wants to see me all the time” oh and he had to go home one night for some family occasion and he said ”i dont want to go. i also told him i was confused because he didn’t want me with anyone else and he could get that ‘jealous’ tone if there was any guy and how he kept in contact with me all these years and i didn’t know what that means and i felt like i deserve to know something because of that. no i dont first time i cheated on bf or anyone had been having problems for like 5 years tried to talk about it went on same way can understand where you are coming from and i did feel so bad about the way it ended should not have did what i did but thanks for your reply. and he hides his feelings well, so instead of just waiting to talk to him in person i spoke before i thought and sent him an email telling him that i just didn’t want to just hook up everytime i saw him, i wanted to know what was on his mind. i don't know if i should feel like shit because he turned to me as soon as he started having sex again, or flattered. and then still have absolutely no desire to become an exclusive couple. before anything major happens however, every time, he holds my hand and we just lay there. who has known us since the beginning says there’s no way he doesn’t have feelings and that it’s obviously not about the sex if he rarely makes a move even though we see each other a few times a week. my facial expressions can be easily read and he could tell right away if i liked or didn’t like something and he right away changed it up and made it better. then i ended up talking a day or two later with our mutual friend who had talked to her about the events of saturday night and said that the girl really loved the affection and cuddling was fine with me not coming but that she had also said that she wasn’t looking for affection. he’d get close and lightly touch me on the arm in this certain way when talking to me, it was familiar and acknowledging.

You always kissed me on the nose or forehead, my last kisses to you

i told him i had a one night stand in another country with some guy i met while traveling, no big deal, i thought, but i told him because he wanted to know if i was with anyone while he had been gone. i just worry sometimes, but i know most of his friends’ aren’t the type of guys. real problem with fwb is that no matter what rational boundaries are set, the hindbrain does what it wants, and odds are somebody’s going to want more. started to go out together; i started to like/notice him around mid december due to some heart-quality he showed to me and i was deeply moved by that way of being. what this means for you is that the demand comes first (which hasn’t happened with your man), then he goes looking for the [email protected] he has said he doesn’t see any point in meeting, that there is nothing to talk about, then anything you try to do or say will just annoy him. and as i said, i think this is extremely disrespectful to your ex.. i mean we only kiss but still is he just using me as someone to kiss? we again were at the bar a few weekends later and he came up to me and hugged me and asked me to dance, afterwards he held my hand and told me he wanted me to meet some of his friends, that night we didn’t do anything either. so i let it go and we really didn’t talk much but he still stared at me all the time. at the same time, he’s repeatedly told you he’s not ready to get “serious.) we make small talk on facebook when we’re both online; somestimes i start it, sometimes he does. susan,so there was a guy in my class last semester. anyway when he left all was fine etc……that was early hours sunday morning, i’ve not heard from him since execpt once, i text him and he replied saying he’d love to be with me (sexual conatation). we are about the same age and both from latino backgrounds. (of course he asked for my number so we could keep in contact about classes and such)i went to a party he was at and we danced together and he surprised me by telling me he wanted to kiss me ( we did ), then we all went back to the dorm together and hung out, just talking for hours. made plans to spend the entire day with me saturday and we did, nothing fancy, went to lunch and did a little shopping. about 6 months ago i started talking with a guy at work who’s 1 year older than me. he also spent his birthday with me instead of going out w friends. don’t let him get the idea the best use of your time is locked in his room. i was even the first person he saw first thing him landing home. he’s been mostly concerned about me and how i am doing and what i’m doing.: let me know the next time you want to hang out, for now i have to go to bed, have an acct test :/. they know about me but i think he feels awkward about my age and my children.… what if a hook up becomes very regular, displays quite a bit of affection in public (around people we had discussed should not be aware of said “hooking up”), allows you to be alone in his house while hes at an appointment, buys you coffee, makes you breakfast, provides you with a new toothbrush and insists you spend a majority of the day with him while going out of his way to be affectionate? he kisses me in front of friends, h loves meeting my mom, wants to meet my dad, etc. the first time we hooked up (last week) we kissed and touched ( fully clothed). of course, everyone seemed to think that i was going to be with this friend, sexually, but that wasn’t my intent and i made that clear as well. some people should not be parents, and i’m pretty sure he’s one of them. if you’re wondering, either he’s not into it, or he’s playing mind games. i know you’re probably going to tell me to just talk to him about it or ask him what the deal is but i don’t want him to think “oh god… look what i got myself into. and what i like that most is that he remembers everything i tell him about me. if there’s no verbal commitment, all the other stuff is just a fun little diversion for him, and is totally meaningless. i moved away and changed my nuimbers and deleted his so i couldnt contact him and he couldnt contact me. and today understands what went wrong, but if i get too close to him, although he says that he wants to work on our marriage, he gets angry and lashes out at me. and what i like that most is that he remembers everything i tell him about me. perhaps he can let you know, even if he can’t commit right now, whether this is something that you should plan your career around, even temporarily. im curious and feel the same way as he does, but he doesn’t seem to care. he sat next to me and held my hand under his leg and was hugging me and teasing me in front of them. i’ve been told that he does but he is ‘afraid of commitment’ or something, i understand he was traveling before and have always been understanding of that and that could be a reason why he was the way he was, and i’ve heard that if a guy isn’t financially/emotionally ready, he’ll push any girl away, even if he really cares, and who knows maybe he’ll come back when he’s ready. he seemed then, and every other time we hung out, was that he truly wanted to get to know me. however, he does not respond to my emails or texts when i send them (only 1-2 per week… just to share something or even to ask something quick! i mean i feel a connection way beyond the sex cus that was never the main focus our friendship was and is but i’m unsure. that you enjoy the sex, and that it is meaningful to you. the first month was amazing, but it was clear he was pushing himself to make extra time/stealing time to get to know me. that night he finally kissed me and it just felt so wonderful. there are too many women around him i think and he is a guy that would attract women very easily (eh, libra), and i feel he would not ignore the opportunities… i don’t know whether he is just playing his game, i can’t believe how much affectionate someone can be while acting on the other hand. i’ve been told that he does but he is ‘afraid of commitment’ or something, i understand he was traveling before and have always been understanding of that and that could be a reason why he was the way he was, and i’ve heard that if a guy isn’t financially/emotionally ready, he’ll push any girl away, even if he really cares, and who knows maybe he’ll come back when he’s ready. he also teases me about how ‘i need space’ and how he wishes he could see me more often, but cant, because of my ‘boundaries’. i would like him to love me, because love doesn’t exist and i tried everything that does…:). what is confusing me is the fact that his friends always tease him about his past girlfriends whenever i walk into the house, or tease him that he hooked up with another girl. just because a man enjoys affection in the moment, doesn’t mean he’s ready to sign a lease. reserve your affection for someone who’s not keeping you hanging. so, about that time as the gods would have it… i got a call from a really good guy that i have known for the better part of a decade and we had drinks (no hookup! the thing is we made out and such, but he did not try to have sex with me. he could be over her and just want to have fun for now, and it’s fine seeing as i can’t blame him for not wanting to hop right into another relationship so soon. i may or may not be cubbs when i come back. so i have been reading all of your great advice and hope you can shed some light on the very confusing & complicated situation i’m in—i met this amazing guy about 5 months ago and we hit it off immediately (we met the night of my bday party his roommate who i am good friends w/ introduced us). but over time he became more and more attractive to me. what other women are willing to do, to condone or participate in can not be my guiding line in such a deeply personal and private matter. if a reasonably attractive guy wants to be sexually stimulated, he’d be going beyond first base and he wouldn’t be using you for it, he’d find some floozy who’s begging to go further. if you are 29, ready to meet someone for a serious relationship, and as much fun as it sounds like from this story, you will be in high demand.. what should my course of action be, at the end of the night when she kissed me we agreed we would see each other wednesday, since she will be busy for the rest of the weekend since she has another midterm tomorrow. he contacted me everyday until we finally hung out and it was like we’ve known eachother for years. i have never had more than one sex partner at a time…and i find it weird i’m usually the one with the pants on in a relationship…go figure. he stopped me, introduced us, fixed us breakfast and told me he would like to see me “bond” with her if i was going to be “hanging around”. i cannot tell you how many women have written to me giving those behaviors as examples of encouragement, only to have the guy say he doesn’t want a relationship. it was quite romantic, he had a fire waiting for me (which he knows i love). he then said that he was a loser and going nowhere with his life and that i deserve someone better than him. i truly like him, but i act a bit untamed at times and he says i’m keeping him on the edge all the time. the first thing he said to me after hi was, so what happened? it was until recently when he had to study for his papers, we stopped meeting for a week. my best bet know is to be my most charming attractive self and see how this all unfolds…most of the signs you mentioned in this post seems true of him…. sure, you can say “he knows it’s just sex and nothing more,” but you should be able to understand that once someone’s emotions start rolling the rational mind can’t make it stop. fake bf is when you are hooking up regularly with a guy, you think it is going great, it feels just like dating except that you have never actually had the define the relationship talk. because so many relationships do start with hooking up first (although only 12% of sexual hookups ever progress to a relationship), a guy can hook up, have real feelings, and then worry about showing them too early. i feel ashamed because on the second day we wnt to his house and things got a little heated up and i don’t normally do things like these, i don’t know what is happening to me. no guy, no ex for that matter even, has made me feel so loved before, ironically. he’s probably just trying to get in there one more time, after which he’ll dump you again. we ended up just hanging out like the first time and it felt the same. yet, when he meet up at each others house to hook up he cuddles me constantly, tells me things like how his never been so comfortable with any one like this, strokes my hair, hugs me close when we fall asleep together and he doesnt hook up with any one else but me. still, that week i got a few questionable texts, again hinting that he may have deeper feelings for me. the girls he flirts with he tells me that they are just his friends or are his friends girlfriends. we have been seeing each other for the month and he hasnt really said anything about being bf/gf and my friends keep asking me about it. for future reference, i think that if you have something casual with someone, stop and then pick up again at some future point, you should assume that it is still casual.) he holds my hand, gives me hugs, and brushes hair from my face. i met a guy at a bar and i noticed he was interested in me cause he kept looking my way, i kept looking his way too. andrew was always an amazing shoulder to cry on and about 6 months later (november 2010), we ended up hooking up sober. i mean this was probably why i kept holding back my feelings towards him.“he asked me once if i am using him just for sex”. he has severe problems expressing his emotions about his “feelings” for me whatever they may be…he gives me glimpses of his caring side and i truly adore and enjoy spending time with him but i’m very confused. the whole recurrent hooking up fizzled out after the bad sex. we both were involved in some traveling afterward, and spent a month apart while continuing close contact through ld calls, emails, skype, you name it. day of the date came and he canceled on me 🙁 he said his coach said they had to do something as a team that night, but said that “we should do it in the week sometime next week”so that would be this week,,, and he has yet to mention it again. when we are together he tells me that he is going to take me on trips away and says he likes me, and talks all about his family and gets excited about me meeting them etc. i remember most of the conversation we had but there are parts that i don’t and that’s what’s killing me. trust me, if he liked you you would be on his mind constantly, he would be texting you for “maintenance”, as in, “to see how you’re doing” [or check up if youre hooking up with another brother] … id say see what the vibes are like while you guys are both on break and then see how it is when you go back to school, but in the end you should definitely stand up for yourself<3. that killed my mood in particular about him, before the past even came back into the picture. he told me he is very good at compartamentalizing things and im not sure of the extent to which he does so with me. went to see him with the strength to not hook up with him and i fell week and we did. if you love him and he’s just in it for sex and friendship, then you are wasting your time and need to exit that immediately. the both times we have hooked up, we just kissed, the first time he didn’t try anything more but the second time he wanted sex. “boyfriend” would like to know what you mean by “fake bf”…btw he loved the chart! my husband and i got back together a couple of times, only to come apart again because a. my friends told me that i blew it and that was the only chance i was going to get because either he thought i responded that way because i wasn’t interested in him or because he is afraid of getting hurt. he does not call often as he is busy and is very independent, but call every 2-3 days and clearly says he enjoys being with me and want to keep dating. we had fooled around randomly throughout college (no sex), nothing really came of it, it was always just drunken fun.… he hoped i realized he didn’t want a relationship i meant*. and then he is shamed as a “bad friend” and told it’s “unfair” that she loses him, as if she’s the only one who should get to decide the terms of the relationship and whether it exists at all. even bringing up stuff in the past that i told him because he remembers everything i tell him. we talked once a couple days after that, a basic “hi, how are you” talk and after that i didn’t see him at all for about a week during which time i decided i was probably just a failed one night stand for him, but this past week hes said hi to me a couple times, the first time i ignored him, then felt bad and the second i just said hi back, and i think he wants to talk to me. he even looked almost furious with another guy that approached me in a bar not noticing i was with him. night, he just said hi, but didn’t really pay much attention to me when i showed up to see another one of his friends for a minute that’s just in town for the weekend. one night we just cuddled and i thought maybe this is going somewhere. when we are in class he will do things to get my attention and i will catch him staring at me out of the corner of his eye. very, very few men under 25 are looking to get serious, and the fact that this guy is newly single after a long period means that he is likely to want a lot of sexual variety.“phone or not, i would think if he hadn’t lost that comfort, and if he was really interested in me, he would be calling even if from a pay phone. a guy who is reluctant to be someone’s boyfriend is not right for you. i just know that i need to break away from both men. i mean he invited me to meet his friends, have dinner, invite me to work on a project together (which we spent nearly the entire day together) (and did not introduce me as his friend when meeting his friends) and wanted to/met my friends so i dont quite understand. i mean it was like love at first site with me but i’m really not the type thats comfortable around boys especially if i like them. i am a manager and just before the break-up my ex convinced me to hire his friend. when he was walking me to get a taxi, he finally kissed me (it was my very first kiss), it was really passionate and it went on for a long time (i’d never thought i’d be willing to engage in a somewhat intense pda – to be honest, i was really happy, i didn’t even realise where we were at some point)., over january he told me how he wanted to take me on a date. when we finally got together things were awesome, but i got drunk and yelled at him and i dont remember what i said and he wont tell me what i said but he was freaked out and stopped calling me the usual nick names etc but we still had sex after that episode i guess i did in an attempt to get closer to him, but he never wanted to be with me in public after that, his excuse was every one thinks we are dating already and i dont want a commitment (he had a bad break up). out of the blue he tells me  last week that he misses me and wants to come to be with me. (at least not when expecting me to remain in the same room/conversation/relationship). i know he’s has a past of getting around with alot of other girls, but he doesn’t treat me like one of them. when i tried to end things he called me 15 or more times till i picked up crying saying he couldnt be without me in his life and that if i stop talking to him he will never be even friends with me and cut me off because thats the only way he could get over me. we work with all these amazing foreign women who are so much younger than me and they flirt with him all the time, and hes naturally charming, but he always ignores it. he finally responded telling me he didn’t want to hold me back and that he really wasn’t making sure i wasn’t with anyone, that he was just asking (which i don’t believe because he got jealous angry when i brought up the last guy, which wasn’t even a big deal to me). that leaves you with taking a “wait and see” approach, or giving him more time. i find out now, from his other best friend, jake, that andrew was “in love” with me from the very beginning of our friendship. i met this guy a few weekends back when my friend and i went out party hopping. but he recently told me that he does not really like sex. i’m confused again… do you think that means he is not as into me as i am to him. it was very slow and he wanted me on top a lot, kept pulling me closer to him, looking into my eyes, saying my name a lot, and holding my hands almost the entire time. about two nights later i hung out with her and she ended up taking me back to her place where we made out for a good while during the week i text with her most days joking and flirting, but find myself initiating almost all of the conversations. some men will go through all the motions of a relationship because it’s enjoyable, but then state that there is no formal commitment. we hooked up and then i kicked him out of my house after. this is highly unprofessional, and you could be legally liable for sexual harrassment. but that’s not enough to merit a one-way commitment on your part. he flirted and acted nicely every time he saw me. meant not sure if he's falling for me* haha i wish i was sure that he was..how do i tell if he wants to stop dating me? i am going to riff on your words and what they mean to men (e.. having the strength of not needing to meddle, or pull on anyone's sleeves, trying to push the river.

I'm in a Casual Relationship with a Guy, but He Kisses Me on My

How Tinder Helped Me Heal – AnnaMarie Rose – Medium

partial blame here goes to romcoms and other cultural tropes where a guy “wears down” a semi-unwilling woman with a nice guy beta-bonding script.) we also have some sort of communication/contact every day…. if she was looking for a hookup, and you acted like a potential bf, that would explain her diminished interest. he considers us friends, nothing more, nothing less and that he wanted us on the same page. was hard for me to read considering the guy i've been pining over falls under the majority of those signs, but i still feel slightly played. so andrew and i talked every single day all day via text, sometimes on facebook chat, and he would call me every few days and every time he went out drinking. well we did and during that he started kissing me, which made me uncomfortable and i asked him to stop. i’m dating, meeting new people and traveling a lot. 1 week later we met at a show again, i was pretending not to be very interested, he was very interested, then again a few days later at something else, again i was pretending and he was wandering around me, i left early, about which he was very surprised, and next day in the morning he texted me saying it was great to see you, etc etc have a nice day, i replied with a very casual text. he expressed to my father that he had always had a thing for me and i just so happened to be interested in him as well. unlike many of the posts on this blog, i think this actually has some overall rules. he let me lay on his lap and then he laid next to me on a couch cus i was getting cold. he would never admit to me that mary was his girlfriend, even though everyone said she was.) some of the things he did raised a red flad and i didn’t want to deal with it any longer so i actually told him that if we weren’t going to have a relationship, i wanted us to stop being intimate. i first began talking to him it started on a hookup level which i was okay since i was coming out of a bad 2 year relationship, but after seeing how nice this guy was to meexamples: always responds to my texts/calls immediately, brings me around his friends, still talks to me after i fell in a pile of snow out of drunken clumsiness, shares common interests, kisses my foreheadi couldnt help but start liking the guy, but being over protective of my feelings i told him my new years resolution was to not have a boyfriend and no love in 2011. also, he has cooked for me several times whenever i come over. just text me “i can’t wait to hold you”……. he mocks me and i do the same with him very often. i dont know what to do… should i just be patient and wait for him to contact me? there are very, very few women who can pull that off, and it’s clear you like him. he shows some of this signs but mmmm still not convince. which he always really wants to assure me that nothing will happen again. i told him and he told me to move on without him being more than just a friend. i was hurt, because i thought that he meant it was basically a one night stand. there are only three things that bother in all this: 1) he’s always afraid we’ll walk into someone we work with and they’ll discover our litte thing. but ultimately, i’m not sure what to do because i want something legitimate that i can feel confident about.:oh im sorry didnt know u were on crutches :/ if i had seen u i would have offered some help. am perfectly happy to be slow, but that sense of standstill at times (or is it still stand? for example, he said this winter he’d like to take me skiing.’s a bit of a loner, and does not enjoy going out much, so much of our time is spent @his place dancing, listening to music, and having profound deep conversations, and yes followed by passionate sex (with an equally profound level of intimacy). if he really had respected me and had feelings for me wouldn’t that question not make sense? on the wednesday b4 thanksgiving, he was having minor surgery, so i decided to be nice and send him a text and he repsonded back in 2 minutes saying “thanks i really appreciate it, ill let u know how it goes, ill call u tomorrow” then on thanksgiving, he didnt call me but texted me that night saying “hey sorry i didnt call u, im not feeling well, will try to call u tomorrow but i cant make any promises” and he didnt call. and if it doesn’t work out for some reason, better to know now. at first in a group but for over a month now it’s almost always just me and him. is going to school to become a doctor and is very driven.), i’m happily chilling at home and not planning to go out (which wasn’t a lie either! you really like this guy, i would stop having sex with him immediately. a horrible breakup with my boyfriend, i met a guy at a party a few weeks afterwards.,me and my hook up have been hooking up for a few years, roughly 3 years now. even in front of his friends hell show affection by holding me or even kissing me and then other days he won’t do anything. i don’t know his reasons because i of course can’t read his mind, but if i’m not mistaken he drove all the way down just to see me because in that weekend he only saw the friend he drove down with, the friend who let him stay at his place, me, and his brother. a month ago he asked me if i wanted to be “friends with benefits” i told him i didn’t want if it wasn’t going to mean anything more than that to him. lets comments slip, and it goes a little like this: me: “hey remember that movie avatar we went to and loved? and it’s stirring up quite the frustration bug inside of me. we get a long really well and i watch his two adorable kids for him sometimes. he has told me that he isn’t ready for a relationship. well later on that night he was texting me to tell me lets do something on sunday i said ok. and the threesome is just waaayyyy out of bounds for a girl he cares about. is he feeling guilty or am i stupid to think that he still has any feelings for me? i know that i can’t control what he thinks about me after the fact… but, is it possible to establish a more meaningful connection after the “lid is off of the jar”? he readily admitted that he’s attracted to me, and he talks to me one-on-one when we’re out with friends, but no pda. im really sorry for the mixed messages, and i dont want to hurt you., the guy i was talking to only wanted a hook-up. he approached me, made small talk, asked for my number and proceeded to ask me out the same night. he’s never in my area so he should have just left me alone. i feel hopeful that maybe he does feel more for me than he is letting on but feels like a relationship would distract him from his goals. he was kissing my nose and forehead during the whole conversation and holding my hands. im a committed person wheb it comes to relationships blahblah blah. he even admitted like he felt he loved me (in which i rationally just thought was cute, but didn’t buy cuz it was too soon). and he even picked me up randomly at 4 am and asked me to sleep over because he missed me. i also think it’s a bit rude to mention other guys trying to date her while on a date with you., well i have been talking to this guy for over a month, and we have hooked up twice. he called and told me to meet back at his house for my birthday dinner. although i was very confused, i was waiting so long for him to ask me that. i know sporadically through the years he has asked me things like “would i relocate/leave my area?: haha i guess we are both not good at the texting thing but im glad we are both on the same page on the last bit 🙂. we kept in touch a little, but he hooked up with other girls (which was part of the arrangement i stupidly suggested to protect my feelings). he clearly enjoys your company and likes spending time with you, his referring to you as “bestest friend” is a red flag. he always asks me question after question after question about me, almost like i don’t even get a chance to answer his questions because he keeps asking more!– asked me to sleep with my head on his chest, made sure i was comfortable and was staring at me on his chest sleeping (i woke up suddenly to make sure my big head didn’t make his arm fall asleep and he couldn’t close his eyes fast enough! one day out of the blue he just literally stopped talking to me! the friendship aspect is still there, he remembers little things i say to him and asks my opinion on things that are important to him. should i ask him by email because it s not easy for me to ask on phone. but at the same time, i have this feeling like he checks up on me too via my blog and social network site. we ended up just hanging out like the first time and it felt the same. so we ended up doing something he goes this could be a date right. his mom is really special to him, so it surprised me. serious relationships can and do start with hooking up, if both parties were open to a relationship from the start. well he asked me out on a date, and we had sex that night. sometimes we meet the perfect person for us but the timing isn’t right – we’re with someone else, we’re unsettled geographically, or we’re healing from a bad relationship experience. i’ve heard of women doing a 180 when the good guy friend walked, by the way. this time, we were touching foreheads for a good minute and even eskimo kissed afterwards.’ve spent a lot of time on this guy, and i encourage you to stop right now and realize nothng will ever come of it. we have been hooking up for about a month now. i think he’s made it very clear that he does not want a relationship, which puts you on the same page. wrote a few weeks ago about my confused feelings over the guy i was hooking up with on the regular who claimed to have feelings for me. obviously, he hasn’t gotten the message so far, so you’re going to have to be direct. advice would be greatly appreciated, as this is my first time being in a situation like this. r meeting this friday so i will let you know if i make the move hehe…thank you!.i forgot to mention that we waited a month or so into hanging out to have sex at all.,i just want to mention that  i have a friend with benefits, and we both agreed that we are in it for the sex. long story short we had a conversation and he said something that i took the wrong way and pretty much thought he wasn’t interested in me at all. but that doesn't work so well for you – maybe he'll come around later, but for now i would definitely let it go. we’ve actually been pretty good friends, go to the same university, live in the same apartment complex, and go to the same church. this guy doesn’t talk to me all day long like we used to and i just feel like he doesn’t go out of his way for me ever.. but again a week ago he was encouraging me to meet other guys and hook up and i was like ‘why are u telling me to do this do u really want me to? but this really helped me know where i stand and if the girl i am talking with right now is taking me seriously. one day he went through my phone ( we were not even dating yet ) and he saw some texts from a guy that i was also interested in but i had stopped talking to. well i was out of town and traveling and when i got back saw him again and he wasn’t even working with me but came out to chat while i was passing through. if he does make a move, be careful that he isn’t just going for a one-time thing. a few days later my roommate and i went to his apartment and hung out, and he asked if i wanted to be “fuck buddies”. am a 28 year old singlr mom of 3 and for the past month and a half i have been hooking up with a 22 year old man. i just let it go and finally he emailed me to see how i was doing and noticed some changes i’ve made (just school direction and such) and was writing to me like nothing bad happened in the past. that intense chemistry came to a halt with him in bed, he genuinely couldnt perform in bed for more than 30 seconds before…., and talked after, still asking me questions and trying to get to know me. also i think we’re both moody and complex personalities, sometimes fickle. we are still hanging out every weekend, i went to his place, i even met some of his friends when we went to a concert but still no kissing, holding hands, no sex, any of that. he even told me he was hurt that i was very [email protected] course it could be something more, and there’s a good way to find out. just put the whole thing out of your mind and do some other stuff this week you enjoy. he even called me “his girl” in passing conversation when it turns out i’d met sone friends of his and they’d been “friendly” toward me (small world). real problem with fwb is that no matter what rational boundaries are set, the hindbrain does what it wants, and odds are somebody’s going to want more. apparently i blew up at him because i wanted to meet him so badly on the day his exams end, but he seemed so nonchalant about it. so now he’s irritated because he wants me to tell him how much he means to me again like i did while we was in school. again i’d like to say before, during, and after the intimate time, we still had a full on conversation catching up and he was still asking me questions and questions still wanting to know more about me. as cliche as it sounds im scared shitless to be hurt again, and to seriously fall for someone. i feel like i’m over thinking everything and it’s driving me insane.-he’ll slip sometimes and refer to me as his girlfriend. we've been friends for about a year and just started hooking up a few months ago, it's not awkward at all and i'm incredibly comfortable with him which is a rare thing for me.. but then the next day he told me that he didn’t want to continue with this because he might get back with his ex over the weekend. after our last exchange there was a moment where he asked me to fo something and i joked about getting a prize and he said anything. he sent me a friend request on fb, which i accepted. he may be shy, he may be wary because he was hurt once, or he may not want to get involved with someone when he knows he is leaving. “i love your dimples when you smile”, etc etc, always makes sure he has something to feed me with when i come over and. here is my question,Recently i met an old friend and the second night i was in his place we had sex. to me it seems that he is pushing me away, but just far enough to just reel me back in. some things, behaviour or words are simply not okay to do or to say. after not talking for a while, he randomly contacted me and said he was getting back with his ex and he wanted to be friends. like in statistics, “mixed” results usually mean a hypothesis tested false. i don’t think he was saying that just to get me away. thats what i got based on what you said) means he waited quite a bit to hook up with you – so obviously he invested time and thought you were a real prospect if hes going to wait that long. the contact has been pretty even between us, though we go a day or two without talking sometimes. it’s something you’ll just have to wait out, that’s the price of freedom, the same freedom that gives us the chance to choose our own partners. i talked to him two or three times and he was still keeping up with his celibacy. we again hooked up but we still talked for hours still trying to ask me questions and figure me out. i am in management, he is finance but i am definately higher ranking personnel, and the bosses find out and would have fired me, but i had not violated any company policy. he flirts with other girls in front of me but doesn't like it when i hang out with other guys? he’s ashamed to be seen with you but not ashamed to have sex with you? to my questions, he answered he didn’t regret what had happened between us but it wasn’t the way he had wanted to do things; he said he liked me but it was complicated. freshman year of college (january 2010) i became best friends with this guy, let’s call him andrew. first, you quit your job to hook up with your boss?. and i feel like its sincere bc he is kinda of a quiet more reserved guy, not someone who is fake outgoing. i have always known men to do what they say. on some of these occassions, after having drinks, we’ve gone just the 2 of us to a different place (a coffee store, a restaurant, a bar, etc. i had also asked him the same , he said that he himself didnot know that he would get so close to me. i replied next morning (yesterday) concluding with “you should come here with your x friends for food and wine” etc and again no contact since. he has warned you multiple times not to get too attached to him.

Being An Old School Romantic In A Hook Up Culture

i don’t know what he means by “it’s complicated” and neither do you! it got my attention and reminded me of how it used to be. the fact that your relationship is mostly just sex as opposed to spending time together outside the bedroom is another clue. we again hooked up but we still talked for hours still trying to ask me questions and figure me out. i feel confused because he does (planning to spend extended periods of time with me outside of work) and says things that seem to contradict his “fun only” statement. out of that arrangement, and wait for a guy who is interested in a relationship. i realized that he was with another girl he met there who was from a different country.. both is hard for me)i keep thinking he doesnt want me because of my weight and he wants the skinny girl that he dated once upon a time she was engaged to her boyfriend but broke off that one when the guy im talking about went up for the summer… she is up in the northwest territories(canada) while me and him is in newfoundland. in the beginning, we always texted back and forth and he always had really cute things to say to me, like compliments not just on what i look like but personality as well. there are other girls surrounded by him and he chooses to talk to me and i’m not even near him. love has failed me and im ready to put it aside until i graduate college. do you think i should ask him why he wants me to move up there? is he just using her while he flirts with someone else? ive met a guy, it started out as friends with benefits. we got chatting online and told him if he’s not too busy he could come to my friends and the three of us could just hang out.  since my first relationship went horribly wrong due to rushing, i am more than okay with taking my time.“once after a fight he said that it hurts, cause probably he has feelings for me. do like him, but if there are not some other flavours coming through from him whenever he gets back to town, i will just keep liking him from a distance, and keeping it friendly, as you said! i just can’t decide whether in his head he regards me as a seriously potential mate, minus the marriage and kids, neither one of us see these variables in our future. wonder if you ever wanted no strings attached, that saying that was just a negotiating technique or a defense mechanism to keep yourself for getting too attached too early. it sounds like you are falling for him, so you need to know asap if he feels the same way. you’re young at 24 but you shouldn’t even consider spending a year or two with this guy if he’s not ready for something serious. you have feelings for him, so any time you spend in a dead end relationship is bad for you. time you have sex with a guy and then a few days pass with no word you have your answer: no relationship. just be careful about who else he may be pursuing at the same time. just last night he introduced me to some of his friends from back home (i went to grade school and high school with some of them) and we all talked for awhile, him and i then danced and ended up making out. he pursued me alot and made his actions very strongly that he liked me and was into me and i was confused because he was still involved with her. women don’t want it to be too easy – any whiff of eager or supplicating and our attraction nosedives. statement that you're not even sure he knows what he wants is a telling one – it sounds like he does have mixed feelings. once he went away for a few days and told me he missed me. he flirted with me and gave me his card for work purposes but as i was leaving reminded me that i had his number now in case i ever wanted to game (a discovered common interest). men can’t take advantage of your good nature if you demonstrate self-respect by refusing to stick around when someone treats you poorly. he even dried my hair for me after and dressed me after. men don’t say that if they don’t mean it. he came over again this weekend, all was great, we had great sex, mammoth deep chats etc. and he gave me that heavy flirting, that interest, and now, more formal. i complained that i wasn’t looking for a relationship, just sex but every guy i tried the arrangment with ended up wanting to date. the other thing you can do is just let him set the pace, but if you like him, and you think the ex is a real factor, i wouldn’t recommend it. so since he lives in another city far from mine, after i came back home i invited him to come for a visit as he did. we have talked a few times and texted maybe once or twice…i don’t know if this guy likes me or what! you are comfortable how you are, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, don’t let your friends talk you into ruining it by taking it somewhere you don’t want to go. would really appreciate some feedback as it appears i cant think rationally anymore even though rationality was once my strong side with men. he says love commitment etc…i then explained that i by no means meant that. i want him to show me that he likes me more than just some girl who comes over and now probably has sex. over a year has gone by and he finally sends me an email, but he didn’t say anything, just sent me a link he wanted me to see about his experiences there. he held my hand the rest of the night and brought me back to his dorm again where we did everything but have sex, he didn’t even seem to be trying for it and was very sweet about everything and kissed me a lot. if you stop seeing this man, i would think very carefully before entering another arrangement like this one. cringed when i read this because it seems crystal clear to me that if, after 3 yrs, your only clues about how he feels relate to his sexual repertoire, then he’s only in it for the sex. then for the rest of the week he acted distant, not answering calls or texts, not wanting me to come over. he told me one day to tell him how i feel so i told him and his response was: “just because i enjoy my freedom doesn’t mean i don’t want someone in my life. i really don’t mean to, because i am dead-set on not pursuing him or accepting his advances- and he is, despite his circumstances, dead-set on continuing to pursue me! nation, those weeklong-visits-across-national-borders work out like this: he researches and suggests me some possible dates, asks me to think about it and offers to pay for it himself. your friends may have a point if you two are holding back on going to full partner status due to anxiety, personal hangup, etc, but in my experience people who are “meant to be together” want to integrate their lives and bring each other into their social circles. he seemed happy to talk to me, and said to hit him up when i came back. he held me and kept asking if i was ok and if i wanted to go to bed..Do you think i should ask him why he is not making move or if he just sees me as a friend? i guess you’re right and he obviously didn’t or doesn’t give a damn about me. did talk about been exclusive with each other, he told me he wasn’t seeing or talking to anyone else and that yes we are exclusive. and i feel like i know the answer, but he has mentioned hanging out in the daytime three times, although not concretely, and his actions and words didn’t seem like someone not interested in more than sex (eg holding hands and eye contact during). so the next night he invited me out for drinks with him and his broher which i also know and he was so affectionate and treated me with so much respect. often he would say things like “you like me, or you miss me. part of me feels he’s still very much in love with his ex. he may be wonderful, but these are all red flags if you are seeking a deep and abiding commitment. i’m not talking about playing major mind games – i’m talking about not laying all your cards out on the table too soon. i've like about your comments – the ones i've read this far – that they are not 'formula responses'.(there are always popping up and being waved … i just did not want to acknowledge them/ see them)i am learning to trust that the actions of people, especially men here it seems, will speak louder than any fluff-chats and fluff guys will reveal themselves without fail based on their actions. an acquaintance from 3 years ago messaged me on facebook asking how i am, how’s my boy, to which i replied, we broke up and then he joked, so that means i can take you out right? but it seems every time i think i have he sweet talks his way back into my life ans does the same tjing. i found out he was on a dating website meeting other girls, but he would say ” don’t worry it’s not going to work out” i don’t know why he kept telling me that. i don’t know why things went wrong between you, but is this someone you respect and want to be in a relationship with? after that he would continuously text me and call me up every day just to say hi… what is going on here? later that night, when he was drunk at bars, he said he didn’t know what to say, but he was sitting rereading it drunk and he would text me the next day. he’s started to add more kissing, he’s now clasping hands, and being snuggly with me., you left a bolded sentence above regarding other indicators he has feelings, and i believe, though have yet to confirm, these are also indicators that a hookup is falling. the whole, ‘i love you “heaps” ‘ thing is interesting to me., there are a couple of things here that worry me. there are definitely signs in your description of attraction and possibly attachment on his part. he has hooked up with a few girls before he met me here. he claims he hasn’t felt emotions for someone since his marriage, and that relationships generally do not work well with him since women he’s dated in the past can’t seem to understand/accept that work is his #1 priority and relationships fall below on the priority list. before we hooked up, i asked him what his plans were then because he graduated that semester and he told me he was going to leave the country to teach english. the first night that we hung out, i implied that i wanted something with no strings attached. if a guy knows that the is not committed and can pull back at any time, or have sex with someone else, he may thoroughly enjoy your company in all the ways you describe. that i’m back in my own city he messages me every night…. another thing that really bothers me is that he doesnt like having emotional discussion with me. know he likes me but how can i tell if wants me for something serious or just fling? he comes over every other night or so, and he even spends the night. i know you’ll miss the attention, it’s flattering, but as long as you are attracted to him and in touch, you’re making yourself emotionally unavailable to some guy who is single! my question is does he really want me and is it legit? i would definitely not let him come visit unless you reach that agreement. most guys just hook up and move on or i guess the term ‘hit it and quit it’. does this mean he doesnt want the girl to think he likes me?” over the last month of school (we’re in college) we’re hooking up and he’s exhibiting a fair number of these signs (affectionate, cares how i feel, etc. i had a lengthy argument and at some point he said ‘you remind me of my ex’ and left the conversation. said he wanted me to know that he didn’t just want sex.. i think that’s a good sign because i met them and he says they both really liked me. the whole summer i was mostly thinking about him and skeptical about all the times we was in school and looked on random sights about signs of him liking me and they seem to match. it hurt me but at the same time, i just understood cause he was there by himself and probably felt lonely. i said that i am, that i like him very much and enjoy our time together. another such example was last night when i left my facebook on his computer and he took my account, and commented on some girl’s insomnia-related status that “thank god i had *** to help me sleep, he is such a nice guy – you need to text me about this :p” … i’m not even sure how to react to that, he said it was just a joke but honestly, it seems he wants everyone to know that we are “together”., had a girlfriend at the time, but he and i spent many nights together, went out on dates in open public, and i moved out of my home, as my marriage began desolving at the seams prior to a. now i might want more…and i don’t know whether i am reading too much into his actions and words, or whether what i am seeings is really there…we talk everyday, we cuddle a lot and spend time together without always having sex, he tells me “i am his” , that he misses me and likes me and spending time with me. although, he said,”it’s not that he wouldn’t think of me as a gf or w/e. 4 months in i got really drunk and ended up hooking up with a guy i found very attractive and had some flirty tension with every time i spoke to prior during my time here. spend every weekend together (either he stays over or i do) and we say that we like the other person a lot, have mutually good sex (we’re both very physical), have met each other’s family, and he’s met my friends and made an effort to impress them. he has agreed not to see anyone else, but that’s meaningless. he really didnt know that i liked him but i never caught on that he liked me but then all of a sudden i noticed liked him but it was too late., long story shorter… he has never stopped putting in effort to spend time with me. i messaged him and called him once and he didn’t answer, so i just went out without him. if he is into hook ups, and has done so in the past, why am i any different? it took me 4 months of him running me down until i made up my mind to let him know i liked him. the past month and after getting over that huge hurdle, it seems like he is starting to slowly come around. at the last minute, he decided he was starting to feel better and really wanted to see me. maybe he doesn’t want a commitment right now, but i’m not looking to rush into anything myself. he has made it clear that he only wants to have sex with me, and he expects the same from me. this “thank you” bit sounded weird to me, i felt like i had done a favor or smth. he even declared he hadnt felt emotions for someone like this in several years. susan/badger,let me start by saying i am a 40 year old woman who is just returning to the dating world after a 20 year marriage. but we were hanging out too much, too soon, multiple times a week. however, we became close after that, and for two weeks straight we spent almost 24/7 with each other – classes, studying, sleep-overs, and sex. and if it’s the former, how will that work living in two separate countries? he would show up at the bars i was going to, come into rooms i was hanging out in at the fraternity, or appear next to me on the dance floor. we still emailed for the remainder of the 7 months before i got a surprise message from him after 7 months of emailing that he was back home for the holidays to visit and he wanted to see me so we made plans to see eachother and he drove down with a friend to stay with his other friend and make sure to see me. i said all was fine and that i really liked him and the “relationship” we have at the moment is great. so the whole relationship was kinda not there, it was a mutual break up, even though i was really sad about it, and really liked him by that time. i also enjoy his company so much, particularly the hooking up. he said he didn’t care but then confided the next day that it would bother him because “he didn’t want to share me because he liked me”. i don’t know if that even pushes him away from me. met this guy at school and he insisted getting to know me at first. 8 months ago i started working (non-official capacity) in a law enforcement agency in a large metro area which i enjoyed immensely. would he not want to define the relationship if i meant something more to him than just a companion and someone to kill time with?.go to dinners (he always paid for me) going out for ice cream renting movies going to see movies going out together on the weekends whether it was w/ my friends or his…things were perfect with us. he was very into kissing me, using eye contact, and making sure i was feeling good, and asking me questions. long story short we had a conversation and he said something that i took the wrong way and pretty much thought he wasn’t interested in me at all. if i’ve been talking to a woman for “about a month,” and she and her friends invited me to a party, and then she refused to kiss me when we were alone, i’d take that as a serious rejection and that i had been friend-zoned. please do check back in anytime and keep me updated! he doesn’t text or chat me, but when we see each other out in public he’ll acknowledge me, give me a hug and talk for a bit. in general, it’s not helpful to hook up with people who are in love with someone else. but if you made a graph of the times he initiated, would the line be declining sharply? he seemed then, and every other time we hung out, was that he truly wanted to get to know me. he bought me flowers because he felt bad for the miscommunication. when he touches me, genuinely i know that he loves me, perhaps he isn’t ready for what that means, and what it can bring down on both of us. couple of weeks ago i saw my “whatever he is” and we had a horrid evening, he really upset me and was just in a nasty mood. when were alone he shows affection also and we can just hang out without “hooking up”. he has only been in a few relationships before me and he’s still a virgin. in any case, you should ask him why he is calling you a friend at the same time he is seeking sex. he exihibits all the signs in the article, he seems interested in my life and even confides in me about his. i hope things will eventually work out with us and that at some point he will be ready to commit but i just dont know…can you please help me out and shed some light on the situation i am in?

Kelly Clarkson Lyrics - I Do Not Hook Up

kind of talked off and on since then because we were both busy with end of school/finals and such and somehow we got to talking and agreed we would take it a step further and hook up. watch how he communicates, how often, and whether he wants to spend time with you. i don’t do this as a rule, and i don’t want to be told i messed up royally now because again, this guy is exactly my physical type in every way, and i thought we were connecting mentally and emotionally too…. i’m from another country, came from different culture and inexperienced.  he texts me everyday without fail and calls me every week. but then when we came back from the break, he asked me out. stop all interaction with him, and don’t give him any encouragement. but he has said that he doesn’t “care” about me. our relationship is so strange i really dont get it…he told me the other day basically that whenever we are out together i am welcome to stay there whether we hookup or not, ik now that hes not seeing anybody else, he told me the other day that i “so great things for him he will never deny that and greatly appreciates them”, we hangout, hookup, im so attracted to him and hes very attracted to me, we get along great most of the time but i know he does get mad bc on a few occasions i have been drunk and gotten mad at him over frustration with this situation…we have been through so much together in not a lot of time, but it makes me feel bad because i care about him so much and understandably have a huge emotional attachment to him, i do believe he does care about me but i feel like he is still nowhere close to being able to commit to a serious relationship. i have been pretty lucky in that my first dates with men usually result in second dates and so on. thanks, again, for responding and for the tactful method that you suggested. we hooked up a couple more times and hung out. at this point i would like to point out that this guy has a big ego and i know hes had plenty of women. tell him how you feel and ask if he feels the same way and can see it working out. just a couple days ago our “relationship” became more sexual … i am wondering if this is a sign that i could mean more to him, since i said before i didn’t want a sexual relationship unless it meant more to him. i’m still unsure about this tho and it makes me do uncomfortable especially during school/between class. apologized for not talking and said “im sorry i just been super busy 🙁 i hope you forgive me”., last april i had sex with this guy (it was both of our first times), and since i’d been hurt a lot in the past i at first tried to make it a one night stand, but he was really sweet so i suggested “fuckbuddies. i can’t decide if he actually likes me, or he’s just using me for sex. we work for the same government agency but in different areas. i regularly counsel women in their early 20s to go at least 5 years up to find a guy who is mature enough to be contemplating settling down. he claimed eve his mother ans brother cant underatand it, but that space is sometimes required. the fwb code reframes that person as “in the wrong” for breaking the agreement, but it’s an agreement that can’t be legislated so to speak. we have the same lunch and he will sit and stare at me and he goes out of his way to bump into me in the hallway. yes i do get jealous from comments on his facebook wall, obviously never express any of it. for you for vocalizing your feelings, something many people can’t or won’t do because they are too afraid to face the action that might have to follow from the discussion. i went out of town on sunday, otherwise i think he probably would have tried to see me again.. its now been almost 2 months… should i ask him, if he likes me just as a friend or something more? hes also told me and expressed to me that he cares about me (though im not sure if he means on a friend level or on a romantic level). because if that’s the case then everything he’s doing right now means nothing… i just don’t understand how he can say he does not want a relationship any time soon but act as though were already in one? i’m kind of worried now because at first i was only interested in a casual hookup but he is such a nice guy, and we have spent the last couple of nights just getting to know each other and just laying in each other’s arms talking all night. he has even put questions out there concerning jealousy ex: “if a year from now you saw me talikng to other females would you get mad? herecontactcart10 signs that your hookup is falling for yoususan walsh •. after two weeks i went to him and again we had a great time together. i told him i was fine with taking things slow and keeping things causal at first and seeing where it went from there but now it seems like it is more, he is spending hours talking to me about my life and things in my past, telling me about his life and him growing up his past sexual relationships and his “first time” i have spoken to him about mine. he has a pet name for me and seems to genuienely care about me…. before we went on break he invited me to come stay the break with him but i couldn’t. can’t tell if this is too soon after my ex-boyfriend to be seeing someone new, and i can’t tell what our mutual friend wants to do about us. he texts me and we talk for hours about his job and his life we talk about my figure skating ( i figure skate) and all kinds of things it will get sexual for a few texts then we are back to talking about each others lives. susan,you responded to a comment of mine earlier, the one where i was anxious about the guy calling. but its kept secret…he hooksup wih other girls and does not keep it a secretn he says its for our friends sake.: yeah, im in my friends room haha, leaving soon, come in 10ish min? he is an upper classmen and has been heartbroken by a girl that he was with for a few years so i dont know if he likes me or if he is trying to play me. he told me if i want to “play the field” feel free but he would stop seeing me. i don’t buy that crap and i have had enough of men using me for my kind and generous nature. he gave me a hug during one of his breaks (which is pda). he suggested we could go ‘somewhere more private’ but i declined; i said i really wanted to be with him but i implied that i wasn’t really used to doing these things on a regular basis and i needed just a little more time. all relationships carry an element of risk, and you will only ruin things if you need answers too soon. anyway, within the following week, i invited him twice to some events, but he had excuses, then he went for travelling for work again for 10days, did not really initiated any contact but just replied to my very few messages. i texted, invited him to places; now, he ignored me. as much as these words make me cringe it’s turned into making love. is not coming easy to me at all in this matter … i liked to charge ahead, to get on with it … but in that rush i have not paused enough to see them fed flags! i met this guy (we'll call him boy a) 7 years ago at a summer camp. i also don’t want to be the one to ask, because there have been a couple times we discussed it (briefly) via text messaging, and he indicated that he “definitely likes sex with me, but also really enjoys hanging out with me. all i know is he wants to spend alot of time with me one minute, then the next he takes alot of space. but i made it clear that she should text me on thursday. and apparently he 'endured' lots of friendly male banter once the others realized he had a fancy for me…. i have two classes with him next semester, so i’ll be seeing him whether i want to or not. he’d offer to give me lifts and ‘rescue’ me from unwanted attention if i was out. it's kind of hard for me to accept, though, because of the way he treats me when we're together.“so maybe he doesn’t want a commitment right now, but i’m not looking to rush into anything myself.’s not necessarily a mind game, it may be that he just isn’t sure. by the end of february, we somehow ended up leaving a bar together and hooking up. it has turned into something more passionate and intimate where he actually cares for my wants/needs. the worst part is he basically ignores me in class and is so hot and cold. but the big question is does this mean he will never want a commitment with me? i had started to develop feelings for him too so i told him and all seemed well. we met at the campus bar back in november and we just talked and got to know each other a bit and danced, he asked for my number and immediately friended me on facebook. after that, we still texted often; maybe i was paranoid but i got mad if he didn’t not text me everyday. i really do like this guy, we have gotten to know each other over the past few weeks, but i need some advice on what to do next. we became fast platonic friends and we got along great. i had a conference to go to and during the entire weekend of my conference we were texting back and forth, and he hinted essentially that he was worried i might catch the eye of another guy during my conference, and that he cared about me beyond a hookup level. we texted sporadically for a while and i invited him to a paintball session a bunch if friends were going to but he works all weekend (two fulltime jobs) so he couldn’t make it but offered to hang out after and we could “fool around. we’ve been through a lot from rumors he unintentionally spread, pictures he allowed to be posted on the net, and just heartbreak and a lot of game playing. either way, being in limbo is just a huge waste of time! if he is settled down with his girlfriend why does he care about saying hello to me and passing hello messages on to his sister 3 years later? caring enough to write something like this speaks volumes for my interest. however, many men don’t attach any importance to these behaviors. we hooked up physically fairly early on; earlier than i’m used to. well, right after the friend and i started working together there was some very intense flirting, we even got to the what are you looking for in a life partner conversation (strangely enough we are pretty much exactly what the other is looking for)., do you think it would be forward or presumptuous of me to send him a little text to let him know he’s on my mind or hope you’re having a good weekend, etc? i should mention that i am a woman and my lover /fwb is a friend as well as coworker. he invited me to stay the night, but it was nothing particularly special. i assume he still has one or two on the side, which he doesn’t really tell me about, as he says its not important. he suggested going somewhere more private – was he hoping to have sex? he is also used to a lot of sexual variety, and promiscuous men rarely make good long-term partners. you think that from reading what i put down that he wrote verbatim he is still interested in me? he has been given medicine for bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety, but no longer takes anything. we exchaned a couple of text messages over the weekend and everything seemed to be fine. we ended up hooking up for ages and stopping to chat for a second or do something silly. he won’t give me straight answers, which if he was a normal guy i would know what that meant but he is not normal!  anyway during the conversation he said he thought it best to keep it as it was cos he didnt want to start feeling jealous if i was having dinner with a guy etc…… (does this mean that deep down he was jealous about my business dinner with a guy), he also said the only time things would go wrong is if i developed feelings for him and he got with another girl, i turned the tables and said what if he fell in love with me and that he’d then end up hating me if i didn’t feel the same. i met someone else and was in a realtionship for a few months and he didnt talk to me much during that time.”likewise this comes up in the discussion of the failing “friend strategy” you had a whole thread about – when a guy realizes that being a chick’s friend isn’t going to get him her body and mind in totality, he withdraws his contribution. or he has a fear of commitment/doesn’t want to get hurt? don’t get carried away with visions of moving somewhere with him to live happily ever after. bottom line, i want to get to know him, to communicate better, and have what you call “the talk” or some version of it. i met this guy i work with about 6 months ago.. should i feel guilty for hooking up last night, i have never talked about exclusiveness with this girl, but do i owe her an explanation/ should i tell her? have stumbled up on this post and these comments in the middle of the night in the midst of a time of great personal turmoil…i found myself hoping there were recent posts and i could ask for a little advice and sure enough 🙂i am 24 and just broke up with my ex-fiance of four years..as such, hope you can help me with my little problem. i know sporadically through the years he has asked me things like “would i relocate/leave my area?-sometimes he’ll tell me he misses me already after only being apart for like an hour. after bath-time we all pile up in bed, watch a movie, and fall asleep. he says i should come next time because it’ll be more fun with me. finally, i had to go and while he was walking me out, he turned and asked me “where are we? only evidence i really have to base this on is the following: 1) she’s never made an attempt to contact me but does respond to text messages reasonably quickly 2) i left her a voicemail yesterday about a concert tonight and have yet to recieve a response. men enjoy affection, and many like to cuddle, spoon, and have wonderful conversations when they hook up. the first thing he said to me after hi was, so what happened? he is just playing you to get sex, and probably doing the same, or trying to, with other girls. he told me that he understood where i came from, he was trying to keep in touch with me as much as he could, or he was giving me a lot of the free time he barely had. at this point (about august that year) he still had not asked me out or anything. we came back to my place and fooled around some more…i guess my dilemma is that even though i didn’t know it at the time, i can’t keep my emotions out of it.  we both have very busy work schedules and kids etc so find it hard to make time to meet up so when we do we just want to rip each others clothes off. i’m looking for something fun and light which could potentially turn into an ltr and eventually marriage. get a text the next day asking how i am and then i hint at (did not offer/ask) a second visit, and he says he’ll call, which he did a few times to keep me up to date on where he was with his guy friends, all of whom were listening to him talk to me sweetly on the phone. i emailed him the next day apologizing and don’t know how i took it that way and asked him what he meant by “where are we?-the look in his eyes when he looks at me is always so intense, as if he wants to say he loves me. he hasn’t told anyone, not even his family or friends about me. why don’t women ever believe it when men tell them that? we were both tipsy and yet sparks flew and we hit it off immediately, we basically just flirted like crazy until our friends had to pry us away from each other because it was closing time. a similar argument could be made for why beta supplication doesn’t work on young women seeking risk and novelty in their men. anyway, come around march, his girlfriend had cheated on him with some douche. however here is the problem we hookup 3-4 times a week and each time it is hours on end like 12 bc thats when he gets off work until like 4 p. friday again he came back to my friends place with me and once again we were all cuddly and holding hands, kissed me on my forehead. in other words i haven’t met a guy that really piqued my interest until……before new year of 2012 where i was introduced by my close friends to this amazing (and hot) guy (he’s 34, a bit of an alpha i think but has been known to be in ltrs) during a party in a bar. does most of the signs in here, gives me nicknames, can spend time with me without having sex with me and when we do have sex he does focus on me and texts me practically everyday even when he is on a lads only holiday. ” and as he leaves he says ” i just wanted to make sure you were ok and try to put a smile on your face ” or driving 30 mins at 1am to come be with me so i wasn’t alone when i found out that my friend had passed. he moved back to his parents house, just 8 hrs away from where i live and a few days later on new years eve/day, he spent hours just texting me and focusing on me while at a party when most people would be having fun and just partying the night away. well it turns out that the guy is good friends with a member of my family and they were talking about me one day. i never say that, so he called me like 2 minutes later knowing something was wrong. said he wants a designated person to hook up with because i was upfront and said that i am not sleeping with multiple people at once…and wanted the same respect. you have an update, let me know, and i’ll try to answer right away. but he still texted me or called me every day, and his friends talk to me and make an effort to get to know me and always ask me to hang out but this guy says he’s not uncomfortable with that or avoids the subject so i dont hang with his friends. i felt a connection but that could just be me. he holds my hands during it, kisses me on the forehead, strokes me plays with my hair etc…. there’s something unfortunate (and perhaps unfair) that the person who feels more gets blamed.  i would like to try and talk to him over the weekend to find out how he really feels but not sure how to do this or even if any of this means more than just fb. he needed to express this because i was getting kind of attached to him and he didnt wanna do something stupid and have me hate him. i want to stay with you” he likes stroking my head and he looks into my eyes in an intense way, infact i’ve caught him looking at me quite alot and so i keep saying ”why are you looking at me? now, to be fair, over time, i have realized that i have sent him some unconscious signals that have apparently led him to believe that i am interested– that’s my fault, because even though i know he’s not right for me, i am still physically attracted to him; but like i said, i have been ignoring him for quite some time now, and he will not give up. the whole night although less conversation, all our sexual exchanges (i’m not going to get graphic) were not typical to someone you randomly sleep with, or not in my previous encounters. he said he cared about me and my feelings and that if i ever felt unsure of the situation all i had to do was text or call and he would reassure me. he’s giving me mixed signals and i can’t desifer them. he tells me he misses me and little stuff like that and no he doesnt come and see me because the job he has he works 7 days a week. we don’t usually do back-to-back get togethers so it threw me for a loop but sure. men often enjoy spending time with women, being affectionate, cooking meals together, etc.

Decoding The Body Language Of Your Ex Boyfriend- Hugging

then came my birthday and she ended up staying after the small party i threw and we had sex. if he doesn’t say anything about making a plan to see one another, then you can assume it’s not on his mind. he still tried to hang out with me again and trying to figure out a day. he told me he had a crush from beginning he met me (7 years ago) and he was in touch with me but he never told me before. what i am confused about is that i know he really liked me up until that one night. it’s like he can’t keep his hands off of me, and it’s so confusing. 2) i’ve only met one of his friends and ive never been invited to hang out with his other friends. sometimes he does or say things like that that makes me feel like im his gf then other times he doesn’t. move on and give someone else a chance, someone who likes you and wants to be with you. he got jealous mad and told me he wanted to beat the guy up (just figurately, of course! i took this that he was testing me to see if i’d respond or if i gave up on him. another striking example was during this one night my guy and i were at the library and i went to find a book and another random guy came up to me and started chatting, asking me about my program, and when the library closed etc. should i just ask him what is it that he wants from me? he has a 9 year-old daughter (who i believe is special needs, though he’s never actually told me this…i’ve seen the pictures in his home). he volunteered to ride in my car a day early to hang out with me and a couple girls he barely knows. my friend encouraged me to email him just making simple conversation and he responded back pretty much telling me he noticed me and wanted to hang out. that break is now a break up because this new guy has caused me to loose all the feelings for the old guy.  but we do seem to be getting on quite well and he pops in to see me during the week and is lovely. i have no doubts that he likes me he is always telling me that am pretty, attractive. it may signal a desire for something more, or it may be his idea of heaven just as it is. after we hooked up he stayed for like four more hours trying to get to know me and cuddling with me, and during our conversations he would randomly touch my arm, hair, kiss me, etc…  how do i know if he is just interested in hooking up or if he may eventually want more? i told him i had a one night stand in another country with some guy i met while traveling, no big deal, i thought, but i told him because he wanted to know if i was with anyone while he had been gone. have been emotional in the past and he has given me nothing , and it feels like the tables have turned, i ignore him when he gets emotional it ends up being that awkward silence till his forced to change the subject, i know it’s immature and mean but i feel like if i ignore it it’s not there. does not mean that this is enough for me to simply close my eyes and say: do as you please! if going on dates is something you want in your relationship then you should be concerned about it for sure. treated me like his girlfriend all day,he even invited his friends over for lunch which was a shock to me but i didnt mind it much,later on in the evening he took me out to dinner and things were hitting up for us,he showed lot of affection to the point of the waiter complimenting me for having such a sweet guy,lol! also he randomly texts me tue day after he broke his arm to hang out and have dinner. work, his age, his indifference and the intensity of what i feel for him, and what a does not feel for me is soul consuming. and don’t even go down that road unless you feel certain he feels the same way. i still dont know why i thought he would be happy to see me.:i want to hear your thoughts tho, its not just about meand no answer. the things that make me feel as though he is indeed falling for me are more like him going out of his way to come see me at a wake to make sure i’m ok… granted he lives a few blocks away from where the funeral home was but he came by and called me and said ” i’m outside, would you like to take a break and a cigarette with me? his friend told me he really liked me a lot, but at the time i was still with my bf( terrible i know but that relationship was dying, he moved out of the country).. so i don’t know what to do, for me is really hard to make a move because i don’t know what he is thinking and im a little shy too. i told him and he was extremely supportive and wanted to talk about things a lot in person on the phone, or one night i was out to dinner with friends and didnt feel good and i called him to come get me and he dropped what he was doing to come pick me up and i stayed the night there…or he would ask how i was feeling and would rub my back when i didnt feel good…he was really there for me.’ve been trying to let this go and i found your website and decided to just get it out one time in hopes of finally having some clarity! what’s not ok is to misandrate him or blame him for your emotions, because that only says that he doesn’t deserve his own wants and needs, he should just serve yours. he would pop up into my work occasionally over these weeks that we were talking (he never came into my work before the first time i met him) we had made plans that the next weekend that our children were with our exes we would spend the weekend together. i try to just start out liking and then let feeling and time decide where it goes. thing that really scares me: as i said hes very close with my roomates, and so he knows their romantic situations and dispenses advice to them accordingly. at 3 am last night he called but left no message. some say he’s not “good-looking enough to be”, but he is charming and i find him adorable. sounds like a classic case of a guy who’s been burned bigtime, and may want to date a woman but a full-blown integrated relationship is going to be a long-range project for him. would advise you to take a deep breath, there’s a good chance he’s going through all the same anxieties, wondering if he came on too strong with cuddling-style behavior, etc. again i’d like to say before, during, and after the intimate time, we still had a full on conversation catching up and he was still asking me questions and questions still wanting to know more about me. we ended up hooking up the night before i left for europe (july 2011). would be great since you seem to be so good at it and i am so new to this whole “single” thing… it seems like every guy these days wants nothing but a hook up buddy. later that i asked my friend what was said and he told me that he changed the subject just the way he did when he talked about me before., when i had shown him the apprehensions of me coming to his apartment , he got angry saying that its wrong of me doubting him. he is an artist and told me about his website etc, then i added him to facebook, then he started writing to me, all very nice and lovely stuff, he told he wanted to meet for a coffee which we couldn’t do as he was travelling a lot at the time. my friends told me to let it go and/or just follow my heart but not to listen to anyone, just myself. we even slept in the same bed and his mom asked if he wanted the couch, he told her no he wanted to sleep in the bed with me. he then told me that he wanted me to find someone else and i told him i didn’t want anyone else. also, no woman lost interest in a guy for not initiating sex right away unless she was just looking for something casual. all of my friends keep trying to get to be at the same place at the same time like at parties or on the vacation that we are all planning this summer and it makes me wonder if they know something i dont. xxx- here’s hoping that i grow some balls, lol:). sometimes he goes so far as to quietly indicate that im ‘taken’ by him- the other night a guy friend instant-messaged me what i was up to and he took my computer and replied “ttyl, having sex. long story short, he comes over, we talk and have great conversation and eventually hook up. when men decide they don’t want a relationship, they very, very rarely change their minds. why i feel like he’s into me:-he always lights up and smiles when he sees me come in at work. me and my coworker were very flirty from the beginning and all our coworkers would joke about us but nothing had ever happened at that point. he replied that he didn’t want to think about it because he didn’t want me to leave, then asked what i thought.. he plans to go to medical school, which means 7 years, during which a relationship would be a total pain in the ass. i know he likes me, but i am not sure if there is any potential of him developing greater feelings towards me. we are both in our thirties, we met online, the first time we met in person something clicked just right and literally sparked: a short mid afternoon date ended up lasting for almost 6 h during which we did not stop looking at each other eyes, smiled stupidly, and talked about tons of deep things, discovering we actually share even the most rare of habits, tastes and thoughts. i could go on and on with a list of caring, thoughtful things he does but these are just a couple examples that to me show that he cares for me very much. at the start of july on a night out (we hang out at the same places so we always bump in to each other), i threw caution to the wind and tried to kiss him. however, i am not always comfortable with him paying non stop, so i insist doing it myself sometimes.  maybe this is just me but i also feel that when you both orgasm together there is something deeper involved than just “lets fuck and get our rocks off together” but like i said that could just be my way of thinking. i was sure that we would go on to do larger things if you know what i mean. why wouldn’t he call her and explain that he had decided to be exclusive with someone? i think i could relax into it if i knew for sure that he likes me so with all of my peculiarities and wants to be my man. when he was asked if he liked me he juss brushed it off and tried to change the subject. it isn’t meant to be, your goals are not compatible.– asked me to go out with him this weekend to go dancing  (where he normally picks up chicks) and to paint his apartment w/ him…though we are friends at work and occasionally after hours, we’ve been quite sporadic in hanging out. perhaps he is just wanting to be a nice friend or he’s trying to establish some sort of friends with benefits with me. the next day he told me he didn’t want a relationship and wasn’t ready for one yet. he finally brought up his family to me for the first time the last time i saw him, which he has never done that before (i loves his family dearly and are very close). it still felt the same like before but what had changed is he doesn’t want me with anyone else. he treats me nice and everything but i still wont let it grow to something more so i`ll talk to him about it and see how it`ll all work out in the end. he brought all the food and even brought me flowers. in the meantime my husband wants me back, but he feels like there is nothing else he can do. how can he possibly know now whether he will want to commit or not…for some reason i have this idea that the more time we spend together, the more he will like me and he will magically end up falling for me.,i’m puzzled by how things are going with this guy and need some advice., i don’t need advice or anything but i just would like to say that i read a lot of these comments and this article is really good. he texted the next day, called within two days and asked to meet again, we have been going out every weekend and all dates felt exactly the same. he always kisses me hello and gives me a kiss and a hug when i leave. you’ve identified yourself as someone who would cheat, and he is someone who will jump at the chance to hook up with someone else’s gf. asked me out a day later and we had an amazing first date on the 1st of january 2012 that ended with breakfast and beer at 6 am. and he’s not supposed to care about me after about 5-6 yrs? i urge you to have sex when and if you feel that the relationship is something that you can count on. he still tried to hang out with me again and trying to figure out a day. advice is always to wait to have sex at least until you feel secure that you and he are on the same page in terms of what you’re looking for.,he told me that he cant seeing anyone else so i shouldnt either because he doesnt want to have std`s which was a lame excuse,i mean come on,there are condoms,so its obviously am seeing this like a relationship or am being paranoid with everything? he takes me out with all of his friends and mine come too.“despite all these things, i feel he is a great guy if he really cares for someone and is in love…”. i can’t help but now get a sinking feeling she’s over it for some reason. he saw me from a ways away, got off his bike and came up to me and hugged me, sweetly talking to me, we talked for a while, and before we parted ways he gave me a really good hug and a kiss on the forehead. guys generally don’t spend a lot of time cultivating platonic friendships with women. i am a 22 year old female, and a couple of nights ago i hooked up with an old friend that i have not seen in almost 4 years. evidence for (1): you’re quite defensive about jesus’ assessment that you’re just boning.  he texted me ahead of time to let me know he wouldn’t be able to make it because one of his guy friends was giving him a car ride home. you could actually do that now, or at any time, but i can understand why you might want to give him some time without pressuring him. then he said he wanted to just sleep with me and that if i just wanted to sleep with him. he came and spent 2 weeks here which we travel together and he stayed in my place and we had a great lovely time together. i have been in a 3 year relationship that was amazing, but then i came for an exchange program in a different country. occasionally though he would initiate physical contact with me like touch my arm or back and displayed all the signs of liking me. we still emailed for the remainder of the 7 months before i got a surprise message from him after 7 months of emailing that he was back home for the holidays to visit and he wanted to see me so we made plans to see eachother and he drove down with a friend to stay with his other friend and make sure to see me. we’ve been talking non-stop, and his friends all know about it every time we hang out. i feel like she already knows everything about me – exposing myself like that on a first date is very unlike me.’s top-ten list notwithstanding, i recommend you brush up on your greek – philia, agape, eros, the three words for love. i’ve heard that means a guy wants the company of a girl but at the same time wants his distance.’m alarmed that you told this guy you would always be there “regardless of his mistakes. it hurt me but at the same time, i just understood cause he was there by himself and probably felt lonely. i hope you are not still hooking up with this asshole. both times we’ve hooked up, i spent the night and he wrapped his arm around me all night and throughout the morning. so i texted him, telling him that it made me feel unsure of things when he was dismissive in person on occasion and that it made me worry that he didn’t mean the things he said about caring about me., i like him very much; but i like me more., there is something very strange about a guy who does not like sex. for the advice, i kind of think the same but one feels more comfortable when ideas are confirmed by someone from outside the problem, who sees it in an unbiased manner.. a guy who asks for your number and asks you out the same night is displaying strong interest, unless he makes it clear it's "just friends. however, if we were at the same place, there is a chance of “something more developing” (whatever that might be). well, the longest we went without talking was 2 days and he would text me but after we started having sex, his talk mostly consisted of sex; but other than that, he was always nice to me. the two of you should spend plenty of time doing other things before you try for sexual intercourse. the first couple of times that i have been over we would just make out.  but now he has started saying that he misses me and can’t wait to spend time with me……………. i stopped contacting him, then he wished me a happy birthday with a nice text, i invited him to my birthday dinner but didnt make it again. apologies to those who have been waiting a while, some of these wind up slipping through the cracks. he has clearly expended considerable time, energy and resources on you, so i can’t imagine you are truly getting played.“should i just be patient and wait for him to contact me? i moved back having left my husband and he was there for me as a friend. this one night we hooked up, then we went out the next day, and the day after that but it’s not like he asks me out. we then hung out the next day, but i ended up going to his place and meeting his roomates and we stayed up all night talking. (there was some kissing involved as well 🙂 ) and he gave me some very nice compliments… *blushes*so for the next few weeks we would hang out and cuddle in his room and there was an occasional hookup or two- sometimes it would be after *some* drinking (no sex, i’m a virgin, but he isn’t- he knows that)then randomly after we sort of had a date(he asked me)- we went out to dinner and then hooked up completely sober- he stopped texting me. if you don’t get clarification on this you are setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. i don’t know if your still even answering this question but i came across it in hopes of answering my situation. i forgot how much we clicked when we first met two months ago. but i just want to know if he is seeing me as a rebound or maybe something more serious? i told him to tell me the truth, even if it hurts, and it took him awhile to respond back, i’m guessing either he put it to the side because i blew it and he didn’t care or because he was trying to figure out what to say. basically he told me he doesn’t want to hurt me, and that if he is… i should walk away. i’ve even asked guys whom i trust and they even said that the way he was with me was unusual. i suggested that maybe we should hang again sometime after i get back. he told me that he didn’t know if he could give me much at the moment because he just got a new job in a different state and is graduating so he is freaking out about life. from the next day onwards we both had an unspoken agreement to forget that discussion and we have continued to this day (two months later) being friends-with-benefits. that make me doubt:-he still tells me he isn’t ready for commitment (i know you’re set on the idea that if they don’t want to commit, they never will… but i feel like he will get there when he’s had time to recover. i realized that he was with another girl he met there who was from a different country. (i guess that’s expected when we only hooked up once.

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