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baker beach in san francisco, black’s beach in san diego, maui's little beach, and of course fire island pines, a historic gay dreamland, are still fun places to visit. everard was open for almost 100 years and was visited by such gay luminaries as gore vidal and truman capote. adult video stores have private video booths, but if the one in your city does not, the gay section is where you want to be. knew my barber was a keeper the first time i sat in his chair: “i want a typical gay haircut.

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but the quintessential gay bar — that tawdry dive with a rainbow flag in the window and a glory hole in the bathroom — is important, because long before chat rooms and mobile apps, gay bars were some of our original cruising zones. i have not mastered the art of street cruising, but i have felt that heightened tension when walking down a sidewalk in a gayborhood — the castro in san francisco, the streets of hell’s kitchen, santa monica boulevard in west hollywood — and knowing that i am in cruise territory. gayborhood gyms are almost asking for public sex, while gyms in smaller towns and conservative communities might be higher risk. the following hookup may happen in your apartment, in a public restroom, or in the alley out back.

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i almost never go to nongay bars, because i give my dollars to spaces that exist for me. beauty of dancing in a room full of gay men (and typically getting high with them) is something i can hardly describe. have heard some younger gay men — guys closer to my age — say they would never set foot in a bathhouse “because they are filled with old guys. i discovered the seminal book the joy of gay sex  by charles silverstein and edmund white in the lgbt section when i was 10.

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you’ve ever been in a gay dance club or leather bar and wondered what that dark hallway across from the bathrooms is used for, this is it. because they are evidence that “free love” is back and gay men are celebrating their sex lives again. wherever you choose, you are engaging in an art that gay and bi men have been perfecting for decades. it is a feeling i think every gay man should experience.

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“dude, every gay man in town gets haircuts from you,” i said one day while he was trimming my ear line, “and since i can’t move my head, i am literally forced to look at all the guys waiting. the piers weren’t much to look at — a series of decaying wood and steel structures jutting into the hudson river from christopher street up to chelsea — but their location as well as their storied nightly sex spots solidified their place as the most famous gay cruising site in the united states. Cities San Diego is your guide to gay bars, clubs, hotels & events in San Diego with reviews and maps. parents, if you don’t want your kids to be gay, do not leave them alone in a bookstore.

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cursory history of gay new york must include the west side piers — a gay landmark that, for many gay men in the '70s, was the epicenter of the art and sex movement that happened between stonewall and the onset of the aids epidemic. diego men seeking men - craigslistYou are herehome » park & recreation » regional and open space parks » developed regional parks » mission bay park. unzipped, attitude, and the advocate were my first signs of gay life; the first proof i had that others were out there. take a pilgrimage to see them — it will be bittersweet, considering how many died during the plague years — but save the public cruising for one of new york’s many gay nightclubs.

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the proverbial “playroom,” “dark room,” or “backroom” is a lights-off, “anything goes” space typically used for sex and drugs, and were once common features of gay establishments. maybe it is located in a gayborhood, or maybe it is the one business in your conservative town where you can be yourself. in the future, we will look back at a massive turning in gay culture — when gay hookup apps, which locate other users through the geolocation devices in your smartphone, hit the market. haven’t figured out the formula of what makes a gay bar stay open, but i imagine there are many factors: hot bartenders, hot crowds, and the seemingly unavoidable threat of getting priced out.

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all other parts of gay culture, gay bars have changed. while you are casually scanning the dildos, sex toys, and gay dvds, check out who might be scanning you. when i have those nights, i feel part of a gay tradition that started in the pre-aids sex reverie, survived a plague, and is still alive today. regardless which side you fall on, hookup apps are here to stay.

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sexual overtones aside, gay bars were places where we could meet, organize, let loose, and foster community. some say grindr and other apps have destroyed gay life. i applaud the guys who make hookups happen simply from exchanging glances with the men they pass on the sidewalk. and (you guessed it) hookup apps have all but gutted these spaces of the crowds that used to flock them.

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-owned businesses are not always cruising zones, but lgbt people tend to feel comfortable in them and patronize them, so you are more likely to find an guy who is down-to-fuck in, say, your local gay-owned ice cream shop than ben & jerry’s. if you give gay men an effortless way to hunt for sex on-the-go, everywhere they go, all the time, they are going to go for it. love backrooms and see them along with public cruising as part of the same picture, one that composes a big part of our history as gay men. a place where sweaty guys work out in minimal clothing, strip in front of each other, take showers, and sometimes sit together in a steam room is going to be a gay cruise zone — how could it be anything else?

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circuit parties, which are essentially massive cruising fests, are beautiful, expensive things that cater to gay men with enough disposable income to afford tickets and travel (and clothes, and drugs, and hotel rooms, and harnesses, and all the many other costs that inevitably factor in). have never been to a gay aa or cma (crystal meth) meeting, but i have heard from friends who attend them that these groups are notorious eye wars. parents suspected i was gay years before i even knew what “gay” meant — maybe all that finger-painting and borrowing my mom’s eyebrow pencil gave something away — and they installed a parental blocker on our internet that blocked absolutely everything. you will find the term “public lewdness” on warnings posted in gay-heavy gyms (“any public lewdness in the steam room will result in immediate termination of membership and possible legal action”) and cruising hotspots where a manager has caught wind of what’s been going on.

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train stations, parks, and public restrooms have more security personnel and fewer cruising patrons — particularly when many guys can just sit at home and hookup on scruff. like scruff’s unlimited profile text — goodness knows i’m long-winded — along with the app’s attention to minority demographics within the gay community like leather guys and hiv-positive guys (both groups i fall into). barbershops are cruising zones, especially if they have gay-heavy clientele. birthplace of gay circuit parties, underground discothèques were where gay men danced in the '70s — and have not stopped since.

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his 13-minute explicit film beach 19 peeks in on the activities at a popular gay beach in portugal. their bathrooms have long been homes to cruising and gay sex. new york’s christopher street taught us anything, it is that a street in a gay part of town is the ultimate cruising ground., there are dozens of gay dating apps in addition to these two: daddyhunt, growlr, jack’d, hornet, mr.

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but gay bars today are now flocked with bridesmaids and visited by health inspectors and must struggle to stay afloat in a world where hookup apps have hurt their business, meaning backrooms have all but disappeared. as with everything i write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men. and since i love being around men — their presence automatically makes me feel comfortable, like being in a locker room — i love coffee shops in gay neighborhoods. this is why your local gay-owned café is probably a cruising zone.


the erotic vibe is heightened, they say, from the fact that you’re in a room full of gay men who already know something personal about you.. urban mo's (87 fans) fun in the heart of san diego. after the devastation of the aids epidemic and after generations of gay men seeing their lifestyles portrayed in ugly ways, the feeling of being in a warehouse filled with gay men celebrating themselves and their sex is radical and life-changing. to navigate san diego, you'll need a car (and a designated driver) as the hot spots aren't really in walking distance of each other, but there are clusters of.

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