I lied about my age on a dating site
if the objective is to meet and connect with someone who likes you for you then how can you achieve that if you haven’t been honest with them? it seems to surprise many of these same guys that women don’t like to be made to feel like a uterus and egg donor – which is exactly how one is made to feel by someone who is 43 seeking out a women 5+ years younger. if i’m not good enough for a guy, just the way i am in real life, then i won’t attract him, no matter what. don't you sign up today to discover what the stitch community is all about? read this email i got from a divorced woman:i went out with a guy who claimed to be 45 when he was really 58. but i thought, who is he to lie his way onto a date with me and expect that i’ll find him so amazing i’ll overlook it? from marketwatch 10 biggest online dating photo mistakes 10 things married couples won’t tell you this valentine’s day, market yourself like a bottle of shampoo. i understand the idea of getting your foot in the door, but continuing on with some false charade just seems to indicate one is a liar. about age is a hot topic among people with online profiles. out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women. ability to get away with lying about your age in online dating is scary, and it happens a lot. 🙂 i think it was your emphatic tone that seemed to be saying that every woman is this way., to answer your question after all, while i don’t know where the line is between the acceptable white lie and the unacceptable whopper – i will say this: ironically, the man who lies online sees himself as insecure, not untrustworthy; if he doesn’t trust anything, it’s that you will actually give him a shot, in spite of his flaws. is that if he feels the odds are pretty strong they’re deal breakers, then lying about them isn’t going to help, and will likely guarantee they’re definite deal breakers.) someone can say they are a corporate vice-president when in reality they are unemployed, and of course, anyone can state that they are any age. is true that my not lying has a tendency to bring attention from individuals who i do not feel are right for me, and i understand this.’m fairly new to your site, and to dating in general – back on the market after a long marriage – so, at this point, i’m mainly trying to figure out how things work, and what the unwritten rules and policies of the dating game are. you know stitch has thousands of members discussing topics like this right now on our members-only forums? i don’t want to meet someone who doesn’t have a basic attraction to me as i look today. which i more or less agree with, but my question is, how can i tell between “a little” and “a lot? did the man lie about in his profile, and what was his reasoning for it?’d say white lies and outright lies are probably frustrating, but par for the course in online dating. i do not fudge my age or weight, my children at home status, or include overstated platitudes, etc. she does no…"rachel jenkins on am i selfish for not wanting to date a man with a special-needs child? i can say that while in my core i've always been the same person, i am very different at age 51 than i was at 21, 31 or even 41. i'm still dealing with issues internally of fear and past experiences, as is he. believe that to assume because someone has a tattoo or wears a cross etc does not tell you about their complete character. out which top banks near you are offering up to 1. of our members are proud of their age and would prefer to share it! while many daters grapple with math on their first date (“could he really be 35 if he graduated in [email protected]
: i think his point is that the woman is trying to target family-oriented men, while disguising an age that would probably elimate many if not all men who want biological children with their partner. explaining why you lied to the person like diana (#5) or me who didn’t lie at all. you are seeking a partner after all, not hiring a baby-making machine.”i'm in my 60's and expected that i would not have a committed relationship again.
People Seriously Need to Stop Lying about Their Ages in Online
he was a pack-a-day smoker and hid it from me. 24-year-old woman can post a photo and watch responses roll in like the tide. i have to say that, from what i’m observed, he’s right. apparently, people worry that potential dates will only search within five-year chunks. type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.” he enjoys smoking and doesn’t want to quit; however, i’m sick of having my friends tell me i smell like smoke after being in his car. it’s sort of like evan’s advice about lying on the age issue. i’m tired of having my nose and eyes itch and run, and have to sit on ashes, any time i ride in his car. age can be an important aspect when browsing profiles, although for many age is just a number when you feel young at heart. the good news: you can also choose to rate someone as a “quality” person. she might not have shown up in his searches, but i’d be willing to bet that he would have responded to an email from her. the problem is all of the 41-45+ year old daters, who also think she is “too old” because -despite their own age – they want someone who is easier to get pregnant. fottrell is marketwatch's personal-finance editor and the moneyologist columnist for marketwatch.– unemployed men and women who reveal their true employment status don’t get many responses. some people will like it and some won't, and that's ok. i would be more concerned with someone who lived with their adult children and 60 because obviously the independence is not there. she did not magically make them go away by lying, they were gone to start with. it is not possible to be accurate about ages from pictures, or even the small profiles. when the market gets more and more competitive – and you recognize the realities of the situation, you’re forced into a tough decision:Most women say to themselves: “there are hundreds of women on here who are younger and thinner than i am. she was very physically fit, very active; and the older men she had dated in the past were very “middle aged” to her. “the reason they portrayed themselves as younger was because they worried that if they didn’t, they [wouldn’t] attract the people they want to [email protected]
: the reason that they need to inflate themselves is because women overwhelmingly care about a guy’s salary. and i am quite sick of all of the lying…."thank you, evan, for enlightening me, having faith in women, and being honest with what 'is'! but, what sets these couples apart is that their spouse didn't lie about his or her age. quite a substantial difference, so not just a small lie but possibly an indictation that the person absolutely cannot be trusted?, 31, says that he has seen women online lie about their age to fit into more desirable search brackets. it would be easy for you to verify age when you do the id check, which would be even better. if you’re uncomfortable including something or if it’s not important to you, omit it. reality is, we look 10 years younger than a few people our age who smoke, drink heavily or spend way too much time in the sun. even if he felt like he was in his mid-30s, i deserved to know the full truth so that i could decide if i wanted to go on a date with him. so what went through my head after talking to all the fine gentlemen mentioned in my email, was – okay, so i don’t really know anything about this guy. you can get everything wrong and still find the man of your dreams. stitch members recently discussed their thoughts about age on profiles with mixed opinions.
Love Essentially: Why lying about your age in online dating is silly
he didn't tell me his actual age until we had gone out on several dates. there is any category where you’re inclined to rule someone out, some person is inclined to lie about it to increase the number of responses they get. post gets to my biggest problem with online dating…that dishonesty is supposed to be an acceptable part of the system.″, so anything my height or better is fine with me, and i’ve stated before how i feel re: a lesser salary. he's not a bad guy, but it's so unfair and misleading. but, even if it did, i’d probably skip that part, because how the heck am i going to find out the truth? two inches, three years, 10 pounds, 10k per year in income will not generally make the difference between whether you are attracted to someone in real life, or compatible with him/her, but if you’re searching an online dating site, those things can certainly determine whether you’ll take a look at someone’s profile or not. and he freely admits, “i have no one to blame but myself because i hid it from you., i actually might give the guy a chance even if he doesn’t fit my checklist precisely. i wish i’d had the opportunity to make an informed choice from the beginning about whether i wanted to date him. separated), however – those are hard lines that are easier to draw, and i don’t think it’s fair to would-be mates to pretend your situation is something that it’s not., the man who lies online sees himself as insecure, not untrustworthy. so if i change my age from 44 to 39, or post a picture that was taken 5 years and 25lbs ago, it will give me a greater chance to get in the door. a year ago, i dated a woman i met online who listed her profile as “42” (i was 38). i am referring only to men in my email, not because i think men are the only ones who do this, but because i haven’t tried dating women, so i have no idea how things are on that end 😉. you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like google for your love life! dating many people so you can see what personality works best with you. you have exactly zero right, to force your religious views on those who do not share them, or have those views in…"gerry on should men be forced to pay for children they didn’t want? we’d been messaging back and forth and his pictures looked great, so i was excited to meet him. i was 27 i met up for coffee with a 34-year-old man i had met online. of course, though, truth is best, because then there’s nothing to hide. “the only saving grace appears to be that with age comes wisdom. i think evan has a reasonable solution, using a fake age for sort purposes and then coming clean in the text. if someone would want to date me at 29, but not 30, they weren’t a match for me anyway. and, luckily for me, there are actually guys online who will date an older woman, and they are smart not to limit their options. 41 not 43”), there are worse things than lying about your age. are you about to ignore them just because you had a first date with someone? am am on the young side of 40, and this still makes me hopping mad. after all, here i am, meeting with total strangers from the internet, and, like it or not, i have my personal safety to worry about. can’t do it though- no reason other than it just doesn’t feel right to me- and if something doesn’t feel right, i don’t do it.) what proportion of the guys you’ve spilled to continued to date you for more than a couple more dates? live feedloading tweets by @evanmarckatz…you said"i disagree with evan's statement, "most men will never fully understand what it’s like to be objectified at a young age or repeatedly threatened by men of greater strength or power. i’ve found that guys who date online are generally more understanding of women’s need to be cautious then, say, someone you’ve met at a party or through friends. far as people flattering me, i don’t think that women or platonic male friends and colleagues i meet have any reason to go out of their way to flatter me, and they guess my age to be younger as often as potential dates do.
Is lying about age OK to do online? - Stitch i’m a 42 year old woman and i would still like children. i left myself out there honestly, and i knew that the women who went out with me were getting who i was and who i looked like. his friends gave him all kinds of grief about it (i found out much later).’s ‘hq2’ dance-off included a dear john letter, a huge tax sweetener and a whole lot more., i think you came down a bit hard on the letter-writer. can completely understand why she wouldn’t put “48” on her online-dating profile. i found fascinating was that the older you are, the more likely you are to lie. as long as he’s upfront about it, so i know what to expect! if you want to include your physical characteristics and what you’re looking for in a stitch, tell the truth. i don’t know why some of these guys wouldn’t prefer to be rejected online than in person! Have you ever seen an online profile with an age attached and wondered if the number really added up? some online dating sites require members add their age to their profile. we look 10 years younger than the people who have prematurely aged themselves. people lie because they need to lie to get attention from the most desirable people.. i went on quite a few online dates before i found my girl, and i went through a lot of lies on women’s profiles. however, this woman is looking to get married and hopefully have a child. maybe you thought that the person you were viewing might have been living in a false reality when it came to the age that they said they were., believe it or not – i listed everything about me like it is. i were a male dater, let’s say 37, who wanted to start a family, and i went on five dates with a 35yo woman who seemed promising, i’d be pissed to find out she was 41. the red flag will immediately go up, respect will be lost, and the person will wonder what else the oldie isn't telling them. i’m in my mid 30’s, but state that i am 29. first off, the site i’m on right now doesn’t have people’s incomes listed on their profiles. clients“without your help, i never could have imagined that i could be in a relationship like this one. so don’t be rushed, but do be kind, be open to dating someone your own age (as if that needs to be said! it would help to have some leadership in that area, from people like you. posts4 ways to make a great profile on stitch5 first date mistakes to avoid, by ken solintips for the best stitch online profilevalentine’s day activities for everyonespeed dating for older adults5 best money saving phone apps. is why baby boomers are divorcing at a stunning rate. of warning this Valentine’s Day: Many online daters love to stretch the truth. watched my first serious girlfriend have a ptsd episode, because she saw a man w…"karl r on why men aren’t speaking up about the #metoo movement"buck25. there’s no real incentive to lie, unless i want to make myself a bit taller than 5’9’’.– short men who reveal their true height don’t get many responses. if someone changes it and wants to change it again, they will likely have to wait a few days before they can edit it anew.– married men and women who reveal their true marital status don’t get many responses. towards the end, she came to me with a confession.
Dating sites crack down on liars - MarketWatch
i like the fact that stitch has eliminated the stereotypical filtering that accompany age numbers. while i can understand why others would do this, i just wouldn’t feel comfortable lying about myself. merely confirmed what you and me –and everyone else who has ever dated online has seen ourselves – there is no detail small enough to resist exaggerating. because the truth is: you won’t go out with the 5’6” guy, the guy in the wheelchair, or the guy who makes less than you. i did a search on your blog before i sat down to write this letter, and found a blog article where you say that it is okay to stretch the truth a little, just to get your foot in the door. the events and discussion forums by stitch add to what is provided by other dating sites, but the lack of other information is significantly bad. create more transparency about age and real first names (or, at least, as they are given to facebook). you are short, fat, older or an asian man, you must read this. the liar is going to have to come clean at some point. how can i tell if he just posted a little white lie on his profile, so he can get a first date and show me what a nice person he really is, or if he’s a con man through and through?, i’ve been on the cbs early show defending women lying about their age.’ve always been surprised that people find it difficult to tell the truth about something as basic as how old they are. or, let's say the liar and his or her date hit it off and start seeing each other regularly. but, i don’t resort to that, because i don’t want a man who is shallow enough to not even date a woman his own age.’s say that you meet a man online whose only fib is his marital status (he’s really still married). i showed up at the coffee shop where he was waiting for me, and i noticed that he looked a little more, well, craggy, than i had expected. funny thing about online dating no one really believes anything thats listed online anymore. i wanted to say to him, “i’m so glad that you feel 34, but i’m actually 27.– men without degrees who reveal their true education status don’t get many responses. [and margaret #8], i thought about responding to this comment, too. even in real life where you might meet a new man who asks you out, he can be filling your head with a pack of lies, though clearly not how tall he is. i kinda view this as a “law of attraction” thing…where i attract honest men by being honest. with an older woman, the clock may be ticking, and guys rightfully don’t like being made to feel rushed and like sperm donors. if everyone would adopt this mindset, just think how much better it would be? once we were getting serious, right around the three-month mark (we were engaged at six months), out it came. at what point does it stop being cute and start being a big deal? in order to make their profile appear to match with their (false) age, they might upload images that are a little old, images taken from long distances or wearing sunglasses, hats and other accessories that might disguise what they look like today. how do i know if he’s telling me the truth now? problem with misleading pieces of information like these is that i don’t know what else to expect. for how can you know if he may be lying, that’s tricky. to know a person i believe that communication honesty on both sides and similar interests are a start to getting friendship off on the right track. comment below, or log in to stitch and join the discussion! however, considering everyone has different ideas about age, stitch should make it mandatory for age so that people have a choice as to whether they make that age significant or not. usually when we jump to judgement we find out we are right off the mark.
Should I Lie In My Online Dating Profile?
it is best to have a few dates to get comfortable with a guy before letting him know her address. on both sides of the atlantic, the older people got, the less likely they were to be untruthful. in addition, so far i have been sent quite a few profiles that i would never dream of matching up with…. find that so many men these days care less about a number and more about wisdom, life experience and common interests. and goldie, do not give your address to the guy until you’ve at least met up in person at some neutral location for at least one date, and as many more as you need to feel comfortable with this guy knowing that info (though if it takes a lot of dates you might want to question if you actually want to be dating this guy). it doesn’t make sense that everyone looks 10 years younger than their actual age.“i’ve had a lot of clients admit to me over the years that they have fudged their age, especially on online dating profiles, says tracey steinberg, dating coach and author of flirt for fun & meet the one. another study found nearly one-third of men and one-fifth of women say they lied about their age. and most people would rather fib a bit to get a foot in the door, than tell the truth and get few – or no- responses. the biggest lie that women have been told is that men get better looking with age. but second, it is obvious this man is pretending to be younger for the purpose of attracting younger women, which is really, really unfair. 😉 while i may not appear in a man’s searches because he’s pushing 60 and looking for 40 and younger, that’s okay. i’m not looking to get married and join our finances. just got back from a week-long vacation and discovered in my inbox a link to this eye-opening article posted by the fine folks at okcupid, entitled “the big lies people tell in online dating. i’m ok with people withholding, but i see things on men’s profiles that turn out to be downright misleading. that when you put yourself out there online, the most important thing is to be proud of who you are, and that includes your age.'m not going to say that if he wants to attract women in their 30s and 40s that he would get them if he posted his real age. is an online dating site that filters out weird, creepy messages for you. i’m sure it’s more likely to lead to the right person than starting something with a lie. i am sure exactly the same thing could be said of salary gaps. why don't you sign up today and see for yourself? do not provide your home address or home phone number. do women in their 30s not want to date men in their 40s? for safety’s sake, always meet a new date in a public place, let others know who you are meeting and where, and about how long you will be gone.← valentine’s day stories from stitch members kathie, carol, and doug → guest post: how to host an event on stitch. do you find this lie to be more acceptable because he’s “just as honest, if not more so,” than many women he’s met online? i have only just begun exploring this site, but issues like that may reduce the likelyhood of me paying a membership fee. if he sounds interesting to me, and we click, why not?’s second headquarters could be curative or curse for winning city’s real-estate market. your tone is vitriolic at best: “because the truth is: you won’t go out with the 5’6” guy, the guy in the wheelchair, or the guy who makes less than you. i would tend to be pretty forgiving of things like this, if all other signs pointed to an honest person. however, i’d also like to note that the quality of my messages went up, leading me to believe that this was actually a good thing. i look like a wealthy man compared to the impoverished. would have respected the 42-year-old guy a lot more if he had been upfront with me from the start.
Online Dating: Should I Lie About My Age? - YouTube
i’m also concerned about his health, as he’s smoked regularly for almost 20 years. if i lie about my looks, i won’t get past the first date anyway; if i lie about things like education, marital status, what have you, the truth will come out anyway eventually and i will lose him then. his car was immaculate, he didn’t smell of tobacco, we spent hours together on dates and i never saw him light up once… or display any kind of niccing behavior… until after we were exclusive. after their second date she went home and did a little online research, and discovered he was actually 42 – and married with kids. lol if it sounds too good to be true it is probably not true. to say, it works the exact same way for men.“i don’t think that women or platonic male friends and colleagues i meet have any reason to go out of their way to flatter me, and they guess my age to be younger as often as potential dates do. 5x more interest on your savings than the national average. not to mention the highly creative indulgences cited in the original email. he would practically polish his car ashtray and shampoo his upholstery before every date so i wouldn’t know. if i have to change my age stat (or whatever) to get someone to ask me out, he’s not the kind of man i want. clearly the older generations understand that it’s better to be accepted for who you are rather than who you wish you were,” the huffington post reported. the risk of sounding holier than thou, 😉 and maybe not to be believed, i refuse to lie in my profile, despite the setbacks for not doing so.– single mothers with kids at home who reveal their true family status don’t get many responses. so, yeah, i *will* go out with a guy who makes less than me, and i won’t probably even find out that he does, all other things being equal. let me know if you win that bet more often than you lose it. evan, i'm a very successful, 37-year-old black/mixed race female who had over ,000 worth of plastic surgery 4 years. they’re getting all of the attention of the men that i want to meet. don't they realize that almost all outcomes will be bad? lying on a first date is about the biggest red flag i can imagine. but we can talk about these things and know that we have something special. story isn’t a very good example, as 2 years is no big deal and probably most people don’t look for someone exactly their year of birth. after all, anyone can decry someone who lies: what else are they hiding? do you look at another person’s photos and what they’ve written about themselves instead? like speeding and getting “creative” on your taxes, lying online is something that “we” do as a form of semi-accepted rule-breaking. if we have common interests, similar professional levels, similar lifestyles, then i’ll just assume he is somewhere in my salary range, if not higher, and leave it at that. on facebook, there’s a limit to how many times users can change their birth date, even if they don’t publicly display it. other online dating sites, stitch doesn’t require that you put these types of information on your profile. i recommend meeting in a public place for the first three dates. don’t men hate being single as much as women do?’ve lied about my age on-line by as much as 5 years, but i’m careful to make sure that none of my photos are more than a year old, and that at least one has been taken in the last 3-6 months."dale and i have been together for two and a half years and will be married in 3 months. guess it’s an example of how one person’s lie to “get in the door” with another person can create a serious bone of contention between them that lasts for years. agree that i would like to know ‘ages’ and to put mine on my profile.
Online dating con: Everyone lies about their age | Daily Mail Online
, i don’t feel that a woman knocking three years off her age is as bad as a man saying he’s single when he’s still married. when they do, do they think the person they lied to is just going to say, "oh, that's ok. cannot even count the number of women i know in their 40s and 50s who are gorgeous! the guy who has been separated for 18 months and his wife won’t sign the divorce papers, the guy who lost his prestigious job and hasn’t quite landed on his feet yet, the guy who was never formally educated but is wise from life experience – he knows that you will not give him a chance if he tells the truth."i also discovered that i could attract a ton of quality men, in no time at all, if i needed to go back out there. when she was 20 she met a man who initially told her he was 32., i do understand your position, that you just report the truth, but i am disappointed that you took the easy way out to just blame it on the “system”. she, just as they, have a lot to give – including as parents, however that can be achieved."marika,I think you and i are talking at cross-purposes. private forums are just one of the ways stitch members meet like-minded companions. people lie because they need to lie to get attention from the most desirable people. have every right to have and live by whatever religious views you embrace. have interviewed dozens of men over 40 who want to date women their own age for reasons that include:• they have a lot to talk about. i spoke with christina, 28, about her experience dating as a young woman.’m with you- people keep telling me to fudge my age to 30 or 31 (at the ripe old age of 32, i’m ‘out of range’ for many men- who are actually the same age as me! men don’t write to curvy women on the internet. so , if a person is putting something obvious out there (like a particular tattoo or logo/religious symbol etc. we broke up recently (after over a year of dating), and i noticed he's online again saying he's 13 years younger. hence, lerner’s mission: “we want to weed out the creeps. but, i wonder: why does he want such a large age gap in the women he dates, anyhow? every picture i have on my profile is no more than a year old. by then, i was falling in love with him, so decided not to kick him to the curb, “because surely, he would quit one day. questions for the liars:1) how soon do you reveal your true age (assuming you haven’t done the text reveal thing)? i’ve given up even bothering because i don’t know the ages and maybe miss someone that is my age, if only i knew, but still better than wasting time learning later that there is too much age difference, which can also be embarrassing. doctor states he does not tread me for my age; he treats the person level of heath. facebook…"rampiance on why men aren’t speaking up about the #metoo movement"hi clare. but i figure that, the way i am in real life, i’ve got to attract enough people for me to choose from. cathy, 41, admits that she has lied about her age in the past. instead i made a mental note that i was absolutely not going on a second date with that lying liar. unders…"emily, the original on my long-distance boyfriend has met someone else but i still love him. i may not get quite as many hits but what i do has more potential. profile is honest, and it has likely limited my “volume” since i am honest about my age (51). other downside of lying about your age in online dating is that you are really lying about who you are. you have nothing to hide, then this has never occurred to you.
Online Dating & Ageism | MeetMindful
other 10% of the time, lying was unnecessary in the first place. but it’s still a real irritant for me, personally. for a man’s insecurities and how he may fudge his own stats, if it’s fairly innocuous, like a couple of inches re: his height, that’s alright. i’ve had an account on a dating site for the last two months. but the problem with lying about things such as marital status, employment, etc. i’ve had a decent number of people contact me, and we mostly click fairly well when we meet in person. it’s sad when people allow others to make them feel that they have to lie about who they are in order to meet someone. however, one thing that i notice puzzles me – it seems like no one bothers to list accurate information about themselves on their profile.” to me, that’s someone who might bum a cigarette off someone at a bar or at a party once in a while. no one likes getting old, aging is a beautiful thing because with every birthday we gain experience and wisdom and empathy. he only smokes outside, never in the house; and doesn’t smoke while i’m actually in the car with him. he just told me what’s on his profile is not true. a guy who values honesty, i started to get sick of women lying about what they do, what they look like, age, etc… i didn’t even understand the point. would think that the women out there are taking a real chance if they lie in their profile. detest smoking, have never smoked, am in fact allergic to smoke, and my profile indicated i wouldn’t date a regular smoker.– poorer men who reveal their true income don’t get many responses. put a lower number in the system, but reveal your real age in the text of your profile (or at the latest in e-mails, phone convo, or at the latest on 1st or 2nd date). helps anyone over 50 find the companionship they need, from friendship to romance and everything in between. she is also the creator of her divorce support website, divorced girl smiling. if i tell the truth – that i’m middle aged and slightly overweight – the only people who will pay attention to me are homely and desperate 60-year-old men. so if you think about it, we just keep getting better and better the older we get. besides, i’d never knock 7-10 years off my age anyway.’s easy to see why lying about your age online can get your more dates. do want to say that i know a lot of happy couples with big age differences, including my parents, who are 12 years apart and who have been together for 57 years. i think your insight and perspective is incredibly accurate - you seem to understand the plight/perspective of the working, successful urban woman over 30. there was a lot of dishonesty on those two dates..People, for the most part, don’t lie because they’re bad folks who can’t tell the difference between right and wrong; they’re just insecure that telling the truth will eliminate them from contention before they ever get a chance to meet you. one week left to submit your best cookie recipe for a chance to win cash and a tour of the chicago tribune test kitchen. looking back, i probably should have ended things when i found out his age. about age is a hot topic among people with online profiles. i can’t help but make judgements from that perspective. don’t condone lying in general, obviously, but online dating is weird in that you can set arbitrary limits on things that ultimately have very little to do with compatibility and attraction. a white lie about age can easily become a white lie about overspending on credit cards, meeting another woman for “just a drink” or whatever."he is smart, loving, funny, a perfect travel partner, and really wonderful.
Is it Okay to Lie About your Age, Weight, or Anything? | eHarmony
that‘s the type of stuff i was thinking, not “omg next thing i’m going to find out that he makes 5k less than i do and he’s really 5’6″ on heels! and fist-time fertility for women in their forties is often no picnic. otherwise, i’d say i’m just as honest, if not more so, than many men i’ve met online, who also lie about their age (some by 10-15 years), height, marital status, education, relationship goals, health, and post 10-year-old photos. there was also a guy that lied so drastically he actually needed a cane to walk when he showed up. i strongly encourage everyone to accept where you are in life, appreciate the wisdom you’ve accumulated and proudly express the truth of who you are – including your age. to me, a man’s true success is not in what he earns. bankrate is paid by financial institutions whenever users click on display advertisements or on rate table listings enhanced with features like logos, navigation links, and toll free numbers. maybe the civics courses in the 70’s were less effective because of watergate. if they’re going to lie about what they look like, the truth will come out when you meet up. come everyone i want to meet online isn’t interested in me? i’m constantly told i look about 7-10 years younger, so men never seem to guess (at least as far as i know)! up to one-third of users on some dating sites targeting singletons may actually be married, according to market research firm globalwebindex."karl,When it comes to ethical gray areas, i’d rather over-communicate, even though it’s uncomfortable for both parties, rather than under-communicate, and get branded as a cheater. like evan said, things could’ve been different if i had less to offer. now you can do something about it for the next person who comes along, he says, by rating someone as “not a quality person” and privately choosing the reason why so the grade can keep track of user behavior, and others can view the overall grade. understand your point, but it is not her lie that “took away” those years, it is her age. dad way s 20 years older than my mum and i have a friend who is very happily married to a man 10 years younger than themselves – to my mind age doesn’t matter that much, it is how that person thinks and feels and acts. really, i could spin any number of cockamamie theories, but the truth is much simpler.’m with goldie and karl about why i didn’t lie in my profile. betting a stranger that they can’t guess your age (plus or minus five years). the only things you may find surprising are that women lie about their height and income just as much as men do. i have known people in their 30’s who have the mindset of a 90 year old and vice versa! without questions including how old you are, or what your height or weight is (like some other online dating websites require) we believe it helps create honest profiles. 1,000 questions already answered:search for:Ask evan: ask me a dating question. mine is one taken by my granddaughter at christmas and i hope it is pretty much how i actually look! your response to nissa (mentioning me and my comments), you made quite a few sweeping statements about men & how men act in dating and how damaging ambivalence is, that you said ap…"marika on my long-distance boyfriend has met someone else but i still love him. first of all, any lie is a big red flag. if they are 90 well groomed, and healthy enough to be independent, hike, play tennis, ski, then why should age matter? more than half of online daters say dates have ‘seriously misrepresented’ themselves in their profiles. otherwise, i’d say i’m just as honest, if not more so, than many men i’ve met online,”. while we all want to say "age is just a number," (and i do believe that) how old we are really is a part of who we are. we are the system, and could change it if we really wanted. 22-year-old guy can make ,000/yr as a waiter and not need to exaggerate.'m not on facebook, but i've heard too many stories over the years.
Computer Dating: Should We Lie About Our Age? | Psychology Today
“i really feel like my mental age is 34,” he told me about half way into our date. a few months later, he met a woman on stitch that he fell for and guess what?”) or confess their real age in the face of incontrovertible evidence (“i campaigned for george bush for president, no. the online dating world, how much lying is okay, and how much is considered too much? have you ever seen an online profile with an age attached and wondered if the number really added up? because statistically most women won’t go out with these types of guys doesn’t mean that no one will, and it certainly doesn’t mean that she won’t. she told me the number of matches went up when she lowered her age. okay … you might ignore them if he’s drop dead gorgeous. i will persevere a little longer but so far it doesnt really seem clear there is any benefit for me. the latter covers inappropriate behavior online and in person, whether they’re in a relationship or if their profile is fake (or they spam other users) and, in an age of rampant airbrushing, whether they lied about their age or physical appearance. people, for the most part, don’t lie because they’re bad folks who can’t tell the difference between right and wrong; they’re just insecure that telling the truth will eliminate them from contention before they ever get a chance to meet you. i understand no one wants to get involved with an invalid or almost invalid, however age is not going to tell you that. up to receive new blog posts straight to your inbox:Why men aren’t speaking up about the #metoo movement. so what if a few people lie, they probably do in stitch profiles as well, however it is still better than being left totally in the dark about these issues.” what i keep finding out, though, are things like “some college” means “no education past high school,” or that “work in research” means “factory worker at a plant whose clients are r&d companies,” and a white-collar technical profession listed on a profile really means “been out of work for some years. she wasn’t really looking to get married, she already had kids, and found the men in the 35-42 age group were her ideal dating partners.” don’t miss: single iphone users don’t want to date someone with an android “if you lie about your age, they’re going to see that you have lied when you meet or they will eventually have to tell you,” lerner said. there is such a thing as lies by omission as well and not having the information provided is already a lie to some degree, or at the least very unhelpful. dating has its benefits and it is still the number one way men and women meet, connect and find love.) and don’t muck her around if you are not interested. as we parted after meeting at lunch, she encouraged me to meet again.” 🙂 so it’s good to know that online fibbing isn’t an indicator of anything else, other than the guy’s insecurity.” of course, i was far too tactful to blurt out anything quite that blunt. if that was the case, who are we comparing people to? it only means he’s a dreamer who’s afraid to face reality. even if we end up dating, it won’t be fun, and it won’t be long. like saying “but i look 5 years younger than i am! and i’ve removed my info from data mining sites so no one can check me out anyway. so… i decided to give him a whirl anyway, as i liked everything else about his profile. he was a handsome, well-traveled man and we had an interesting conversation. i can’t stand it when guys have lied on their profile and i waste my time on a date with someone dishonest or who doesn’t look like their photos. people lie because they have no intention of ever being upfront. they had the same measure of life to find a partner and they haven’t yet managed it. if he wants to pick me up at my place, is it safe to tell him where i live?
Should i lie about my age online dating
What Is The Number One Lie In Online Dating? | Observer
may conclude that people over the age of 35 are simply less ethical. he have the chance to meet you if he didn’t misrepresent himself?– overweight men and women who reveal their true weight (or who show current, full body photos) don’t get many responses. writer here, hi guys and girls 🙂 i actually find the answer helpful. as much as i love him, and as happy as we are in virtually every other regard? she starts her search for a more serious relationship, cathy says, “now [i] am totally honest about my age, as i am looking for something more substantial. unfortunately, this can result with many people lying about their age (this can happen by up to ten years! we dated about a year, and had a great time together. as its name suggests, the grade asks people to rank other users on a scale from a+ to f based on three criteria: quality of messages, profile photos and description and, finally, peer review. and i’m concerned about my health, breathing in second-hand ash and airborne particulates. someone can say they are 6 feet 2 when really they are under 5 feet (not that that is a bad thing – it's just a dishonest thing."i've always disliked self-help, but from the moment i started reading, i felt you were talking to me. previous post:how do you know he loves more than your looks? also have to say, people who lie about their age in online dating aren't very smart. i agree with goldie and karl r, that these are not the kind of people i want to meet, because it is a slippery slope. this story is so disappointing to me on many levels. my reasoning was – well, if i’ve got to lie about myself to get a date with a man, then maybe he’s not the one i need. a man, or anyone else asks my age, i normally ask, are you asking because you wish to sell me insurance or are you asking because you want to propose marriage and want to know if i am of childbearing age?!"the result of giving up the search for “why” is losing the worry, the wringing of the hands, the wondering if he will call, and all the stress and sadness that goes with the worry. it comes to your profile on stitch, we leave it to you to decide you what to include. provided our team can verify that you’re over fifty, it’s up to you what you’d like to include to share with other members. think if a person reveals his or her lie of their own volition, then it’s not as much of a character flaw than if they never fess up and you find out about it through some other means. ages on stitch are from 50 plus and there is a huge difference in likes, needs etc between people in their 50s and those in their 70s.“i’m constantly told i look about 7-10 years younger,”. they have beautiful, healthy bodies, they are active and smart and wealthy and kind and worldly. are women expected to date men with a lower educational level? if it’s important to your stitch, s/he’ll ask and then, please, tell the truth. i can say from experience that the traffic to my online dating profile dropped significantly when i turned 30, so there must be some truth behind this theory. our culture is obsessed with youth, and if people can’t be young, they often want to be with someone who is. since you won’t give him a chance, he’s going to give himself a chance. of warning this valentine’s day: many online daters love to stretch the truth. fottrell is marketwatch's personal-finance editor and the moneyologist columnist for marketwatch. i’m not talking about 32-year-olds, i’m talking about women who are 45-50 and over. am 45 living in nyc and just getting over a relationship…it ended really well and we are good friends.
The Ugly Truth of Online Dating: Top 10 Lies Told by Internet Daters
, i think the op needs some good advice on how to proceed…. i’m turning 50 this year, and i love where my life is right now. it feels like they’re trying to impress or catch the kind of woman where a man’s salary is so vital to her, or to try and show a status of success. it makes me wonder why they feel the need to inflate themselves. back when i was online, i got a fair share of those lies. he said he never would have met her on any other website and that he was so grateful to stitch for removing judgemental barriers. a date who is older than he or she says seems to be a pretty common experience. i never stopped reading your books, and checked up on myself often. (not the most attractive quality in a man, either, but, to an extent, i can live with it. i prefer to get to know something about a person before filtering them out on something so insignificant as age. is it that everyone on this blog (including me) gets guessed as being 10 years younger than their actual age … often by platonic friends. i am really looking to find a life partner, and i state that in my profile, so why should i just accept that it will start by having a date with someone who lied about age/height/job/marital status/whatever…just to get a first date? i’d try not to let it get me too upset. i liked him so i continued to see him, but his age was always an issue for me. go out with someone you’ve known a long time. my all time favorites are “i am in real estate” (from a superintendant) and “i run a hedge fund” – from a guy who was in operations at a large hedge fund (for non-finance folks – portfolio managers run hedge funds, operations guys are merely support personnel, a step above guys who stuff fridge with water).…"shasha on how to deal with your ex"it is soul-crushing. it’s ok for the women who doesn’t want to get married to fib about her age, but for the one who does, it’s not ok? “it has led to a lot more low-quality users who were hostile and offensive and the main reason was there was no accountability for their behavior. i’m a 38-year-old guy with a decent job, a solid education, and good income. all the lying and misrepresentation and people disappearing and reappearing and not being at all what you want. but given the pervasiveness of online lying, i came to the conclusion that lying, while not morally defensible, is at least understandable from a practical standpoint. people can provide any number they choose, photos can be deceiving or site users can post old photos to back up the lie. and i look extremely tall next to the american society of little people. trying to just get your foot in the door sounds desperate. may be “easier” for younger folks to tell the truth, but the 24 year old man who is short still might be “too short” for many women his age, and the overweight 24 year old woman might still be “too heavy” for most men in her age range. marcie, i just wondered what your opinion is of situation where a lady of 47 has an online dating profile with a blank picture and an age quoted as being 22……obviously a bit of a stretch.) in an attempt to not show up in searches from older companions. i was also contacted by a guy in a wheelchair, and i very much appreciated his vulnerability and his honesty. generally figure that the photo one chooses to use is one they are happy with in terms of being realistic and flattering at the same time. men never seem to mind if you actually do look like your photo and appear closer to your fake than real age and if you are attractive. it comes to questions of fertility, a lot of daters could do with being more empathetic, open minded and understanding in their perspective., this plan backfires 90% of the time, but to the people who are lying, they see it as the only means to get in front of you. longer than that and i start to think it’s a character flaw.
Why You Should Stop Lying About Your Age on Dating Sites - it bothers me to do it, but my women friends who are older and who reveal their true ages don’t get many responses on-line, so i’ve done it. the mother lives less than 10 minutes away and does not have anything to do with the child.“my women friends who are older and who reveal their true ages don’t get many responses on-line,”. in american polite society, asking a woman’s age, dress size, and weight is intrusive. if age means so much, then there are lots of sites that require it. pilossoph is a freelance columnist for chicago tribune media group."you provide a reality check and remind me that everyone has doubts and there is no one "normal" response to love and commitment. we have no control over our age, and the truth will eventually come out, so why not be honest from the beginning? not to say younger women don't have any of these things. for example, a 35 year old might search 25-35, and you would miss out if you’re 36. i would never lie about my age even though i look younger. we all know that a white lie about marital status is not the same as fudging age or height. of our members in california (who prefers to remain anonymous) told us he has always filtered profiles on age and was very frustrated when stitch would not let him do that. long-distance boyfriend has met someone else but i still love him. also look like an athelete compared to the morbidly obese. you definitely do not need to give a guy your address until you’ve met him in public enough times to feel comfortable. david (#1) discovered that his girlfriend was 6 years older than she said. on a wearable anything) it is fair to assume it has great meaning to them. though, it’s only important to some, so for many others, it doesn’t matter whether it’s there or not. i stayed on the date because i was meeting a friend nearby afterwards, but i glared at him over the sangria and can’t remember one thing about him besides the cane. i wouldn’t get too upset if a guy’s profile picture is five years old, or if he’s really 5’8″ and not 5’10. am leery of posted high incomes because i think that in most cases, they’re not true. dating sites are finally trying to tackle one of the biggest problems among their lovelorn customers: people who love to lie. was talking about the lw's relationship specifically, and my contention was that it specifically started on a shaky…"clare on my long-distance boyfriend has met someone else but i still love him. sure, you might get more hits, but a) is it really worth it; b) they’re going to find out eventualy; and c) if you can’t be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with.” however, for all of the dating site’s advanced metrics and data, the subtitle of the piece could simply have been, “duh. is not always deliberate, if you’re worried that your photos are not updated or clear, you can read over an article we wrote about taking selfies here! generally liked to date younger men (35-42) vs older men (47-55). it’s definitely way worse than being old, which we will all be eventually. besides ~ i can see and feel the way men look at me in real life. the person they lied to could see them in person for the first time and know they are lying immediately, and that might be the end right there. i will never do it again, it is such a weird experience. i ruled out women who lived hundreds of miles away because i didn’t want to buy a plane ticket just to kiss my girlfriend. this is the relationship i want, and i have it!
Do you lie about your age to date younger girls? - Quora he had the good sense to know that to not be upfront about this would have made for an uncomfortable situation upon discovery. if a reviewer selects “yes” to their match being a quality person, they are redirected to a screen on their phone where they can select up to five positive hashtags describing that person — including #adventurous, #boyfriendmaterial, #greatsmile, #hilarious, #perfectattendence — that show up on their profile for others to see, but the raters will always remain anonymous. a 44-year-old woman virtually drops off the face of the earth in comparison. i’ve lost interest because of this and i expect others feel the same from the discussions. many common interests do i need to connect with a guy?, let me state that i’m not saying that everyone should lie, and that it’s no big deal. a married person can have a profile status that states he or she is single. location-based dating apps like the grade and tinder are forcing their members to connect through facebook. data released this week showed that in 2013, 6% of 55-64 year olds reported using an online dating site or mobile dating app. men be forced to pay for children they didn’t want? honestly, the odds are that the first date will not lead to a second, and you don’t want a relative stranger to have that kind of information. "being able to check in with evan each week was like a safety net to give this a go. as a 49 year old (who looks 10 years younger) i do not lie about anything on my profile. if that’s the only thing that would cause you to overlook one of the criteria that matters to you, what on earth possesses you to believe that men will behave differently … unless you’re drop dead gorgeous. i know some people prefer to have a picture that has been carefully staged but this can give anyone looking at your photo the wrong idea as to your actual age. “i had no qualms about lying about my age because i was not in the market for meeting anyone with long term potential, as i had just ended a long term relationship,” she ays. is it ever okay to trim a few years to your profile when seeking romance online? and, letting a friend know who she’s seeing, just as a safeguard. of all, i have a hard time believing that 58 can pass for 45, but that's beside the point. which makes sense, because the older we get, the less likely we’re able to lie on our profiles. famous couples with age differences larger than tom daley and dustin lance black. you just have to listen carefully, follow your gut instinct, and use some deductive reasoning. if i go on a date with him, can i guarantee i’ll come back home to my kids? my husband said in his profile that he was a “social smoker. advertisement is provided by bankrate, which compiles rate data from more than 4,800 financial institutions. don’t think it’s really the same or fair to lie about having children, or marital status (divorced v. stitch is always a work in progress so it’s great to hear feedback from our members so that we know what changes we need to make. people are entitled to choose who they go out with and spend their time on. if he cannot accept me for what i am, then how am i going to date him? for the 37 year old dater, i fully appreciate what you are saying. man assumes women have it easy because they get a ton of attention. to add, i don’t understand the salary part at all. / dating - general - lifestyle / is lying about age ok to do on . wish that was the only time someone lied about his age on his online dating profile.