Is the Person You're Seeing Still Actively Online Dating??If you want someone committed to you, this doesn’t sound like the guy.. im not proud of myself but again it felt so so right, i had fallen for him through all these months. in this “alternative fact” world, i’m always surprised when i’m asked to defend online dating, because it needs no defense. he said that he finds me very pretty and hot. surveyed 832 coffee meets bagel members to find out what singles think about valentine’s day, what they…. his response actually makes me wonder if he even realizes that he could hide his profile. is more to trusting your instinct than simply “catching him red handed”, there is the follow up part to show him you have your boundaries. so what if as an experiment you tried communicating with a few more guys at the same time. when a day ago he made a point in asking me how it was going on the site. stop fooling one another with the notion that we should not have expectations. i replied no worries, but that i trust that he wouldn’t play games with me because that would be unnecessary. – if i understand correctly, you’re saying that if he doesn’t decide to take his profile down in 6 weeks then you’ll not talk with him about it and just end things? i did confront him to discuss it but now i realise i did so – not to understand him – but only with a view to declaring that he had failed, that i don’t ‘share’ and therefore we couldn’t continue in this state. i texted him and said that i think if he wants to take this relationship seriously as he says (kids, marriage, moving in together, etc) then it’s probably a good idea to delete the profiles. he told me had a b’day but could manage to meet me for a bit and a drink at 12pm. know it won’t be easy but if he refuses to commit himself to you i recommend keeping your options open. is women’s history month, so we’re celebrating women all month at cmb! im not sure what site i met him on or if he is even on a dating site now. i recently started seeing this guy and we met through an online site a long time ago but we just started talking through facebook. would they feel the need to check it out if they are in an exclusive relationship? but since we had been sleeping together and discussing holiday plans, etc. he even came inside to meet my parents (he was so nervous) but unfortunately, they went to bed before we got there. i know you can hide your profile when you have an active subscription because i’ve done it so don’t let him try to convince you he can’t do that either.” when they say there’s no one else, take that as a red flag; there may not be anyone else but that doesn’t mean they aren’t looking. i’d suggest you suggest to him that you meet out his way – if he responds positively and wants to meet, things are probably fine. nevertheless, i was shocked and disappointed when he told me one morning that he had been on a date. i think you getting your profile down and then asking him where he sees things going is the best thing to do. sometimes i’ll also “test” them with one of my recon profiles like let them know the “hot recon guy” looked at their profile or even wink to see if they “take the bait” and make a move to judge their interest level in me…. not that you can’t find success, but often this approach mentally “locks” us into continuing to pursue a relationship even when it isn’t that great (and there are lots of other reasons to date multiple people in my mind, but i’ll not go over all that again here). you ever spied on someone to see if they’re still using the site when you think you’re starting to get serious? i would talk to him: let him know you want to be exclusive and see what he says. after a relationship shouldn’t he spend time with himself instead of taking girls for a ride? that in mind i wanted to review one of the recent emails i’ve received from a reader and offer some additional advice for this problem. now 5 weeks later i will be meeting his kids and going to a family gathering soon but he is still online. you have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince. i find it difficult – impossible – to continue with someone who isn’t sure about me. me also preface, my bf and i have tried numerous times to get both of us off the sites…. he met his wife using online dating and has been giving advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. we were approved he never moved in because he has his own home. he even said never look a gift horse in the mouth’ and i asked who is the gift horse, you or me? i feel like i maybe scared to trust him, cause i am just so tired of a heartbreaks. might not be helpful but at the end of the day you can only control your choice. after 6 weeks of talking non stop via text, a few phones calls a week, and seeing each other no less than once a week i brought up the “where is this going” talk…. he asked to meet so i suggested lunch on saturday – since that’s a harmless, friendly thing! guess what – if you did then you are not ready to be honest with her or yourself. i feel as though you don’t care about the way i feel and that makes me wonder…. tell him if he’s going to continue posting that he is single and updating his site, that you are too and you are also going to start seeing other people. it hurts me that he denies our relationship to people he know but is all about it in private. – i can’t really speak to what’s going on in his head. then i saw just two months ago he was texting w/ his buddies about have spring time itch again. it’s a dilemma that’s more common than you think when online dating turns into an offline relationship. the 2nd day away, he sent me a pic of himself in a towel. i dont know…is that something that can even work? even after all this thinking and reading: i still don’t understand entirely. i let him pursue me and after two and a half months of being with and seeing eachother every single day and night we decided to be together in a relationship. the responsible party is the man or woman who has to open those emails to stroke their ego or satisfy what they think is a harmless curiosity. > blog > online dating > have you ever spied on someone to see if they’re still using the site when you think you’re starting to get serious? i try not to pressure him about it and he hasn’t been dishonest with me. i slightly said some of my concerns today (coming off as joking) and he lied and said he hasn’t been online since the time of our date to take his profile down. if he’s writing me long, personal emails, calling me, or dating me and he’s still “online now” every night, i keep contacting and dating multiple men. i also have a feeling that he won’t text me tonight. brad, i really enjoyed the post and seems that many of us experience the same issue. in general, he was never pushy or anything, but the opposite, and i got the impression of him as being a nice and honest guy.” he said he doesn’t like being told what to do. so, i asked “why do you have the profile up when you know it bothers me this way? six weeks ago i met a guy from an online dating site. we all know that what a man does speaks louder than what he will ever say. so for the first time, i decided to do some checking, and did a search on his profile username. i know, because i have a friend that is on the same dating site and she keeps me updated, unfortunately. i then said: ” i am the other girl” the look on his face was priceless especially when he realised that all of the stuff he had written (and there was pages and pages of very intimate stuff) was all sent to me. i do see where the ones who say, “don’t look” are coming from and i don’t think you’re incorrect. he kissed me and looked at me for a second and said, “hell no! – i do like your friends advice to continue dating others. i told him i was hesitant to live together as that felt very committed and serious, and i didn’t actually know for sure what his intentions were with me. everything i’m hearing is that if you open the email (even to just delete it), match will now show you as active. for example, at the end of a nice evening together (especially if the two of you are commenting on how much you enjoy spending time together) you could bring up your concerns on not knowing where you stand in the relationship. he told me the thing’s he told my fake profile weren’t true – ‘i was obviously trying to pick her up – would i tell her i am seeing or sleeping with someone? i admit, as a christian (and no, not everybody is) that shapes a couple of opinions i have on this: i believe that if i have that uneasy, something’s not right feeling in my gut, that is not a trust issue, that is the holy sprit telling me that i need to check this out because there’s a problem and this is not a good situation for me.’m definitely not defending what he did (i disagree with it and think it was wrong of him to do so) but you did get a much better response than many women: he removed the profile quickly and i think he was a lot more honest than most guys in admitting that creating it made him feel better. if you really hit it off, i’d hope the car situation wouldn’t prevent a relationship from forming. i do hope to hear back from you about my situation, you seem to have solid and sincere advice. so i know he is not in it for the sex. he really thinks the two of you aren’t “bound”, then i think you should let him know that because of that, you’re going to begin to talk with other men. we are talking and seeing each other, he met my friends and even introduced me to his. mean we are just getting to know each other, and it’s still very new, but since i had asked him if he is still on dating sites or talking to other women, i feel like he wasn’t sincere by telling me he wasn’t. 1,000 questions already answered:search for:Ask evan: ask me a dating question. he said he hates the fact i always have to leave and wishes i could stay at his place all the time. he once said to me that he loves sex with me but that a relationship shouldn’t be based on sex. i think we can both agree that no two relationships are alike, and that being in a relationship doesn’t have to mean the same thing it means for most people, especially the kind of people who believe in marriage. so i began “snooping” and found that even though after 6 months he was still using the dating site that we met on, but he is doing it from his phone so that i can’t check. i told him he shouldn’t be taking his frustrations out on me & that he can date my ‘friend’. i am sorry i know it is painful to hear . anyhow she clearly knew about me, and was very threatened by me. a few minutes later, his short worded texts suddenly stopped. do like that you’re reading the 5 love languages together. am just so scarred to bring my feelings or the site thing up……. he takes out so much time from his busy schedule to skype with me, which he initiates a lot, and he drove to see me and paid and was a huge gentleman. i thought wow he really is an honest guy, what a catch! now the only reason i knew to look and see if he was on there was this gut feeling that i got. and lets just say that because i went out for a girls night instead of hangin with him, that he responded to this other woman. he had cancelled his membership (and told me he was doing this) about 3 weeks ago., i commend you for talking with him as a follow up, but you took the easy way out for yourself. i want to give him the benefit of the doubt but the miles between us and the unknown are really bring out the jealousness in me and i don’t like it. many times she ‘broke up’ with him via text, and then would come over later that day and have sex with him. so, if this is the case, why would his profile still be up? and while it’s great you trust him, a guy who did what he did is not a trustworthy guy.. i think it’s all because of the recent stuff with my brother…. he has been a total gentleman and he even went into a “domestic partnership” with me on facebook (haha). i guess my question is, if it’s almost been a year and his feelings haven’t changed since we first started seeing each other and he’s still going on dating websites, should i even try to thinkta he would someday want a relationship? explain how much you enjoyed spending time with her but given how infrequently you are seeing each other and given the fact that she’s still looking online, you feel like you should keep your options open. if he continuously finds an excuse not to meet again, i’d be more concerned. if i had met him at the pub, i would have met his friends & seen his place. coffee meets bagel coffee meets bagel (cmb) is a free dating service that helps members make meaningful connections. but it’s also not unreasonable for you to feel a bit miffed that he’s doing exactly what you feared. would say let him know how he’s made you feel and then keep your options open to date other guys because at this point it seems like he’s proven that you can’t believe what he says., you’ve been on a couple of dates and the two of you seem to have really hit it off, but then you noticed that the guy you’re super interested in changed his profile photo on the dating app you met on, which means that he must still be active. he is affectionate and kind, all the traits i was looking for. at this point in time it is not wise to promise exclusivity to any man without a proposal. yet i’ve written a book about online dating called “i…. my biggest worry is my daughter, she is very attached to him and tells him that he is her best friend and she loves him, and he tells her the same. he began texting numerous other women, and even had a one night stand with a younger woman while he was out of town. do women in their 30s not want to date men in their 40s? since we see each other daily (he gets mad if we don’t) i just don’t know how to deal with this anymore and its taking its toll on me. notice shes still going on this same dating website we met on ( i had taken mine off since we met) but this worries me so much that i asked if she still went onto the site and she said she did. he is super attentive when we are together, has introduced me to all of his friends who have warmly accepted me into their circle as one of their own.. even if after i take mine down, because it is just a profile… and i have decided… (just now) after reading all these comments that unless he cheats and i can prove it (and i will be gone)… nothing else matters….) do i secretly keep checking on him and confront him if i see activity? how he loves what we have but that he doesn’t think he can give me what im looking for at the time. if you’re just not comfortable with that, it sounds to me like you could bring this up again. part of me thinks it just his response to getting caught but i’m really in no place to judge him. i am aware that there is a 30 minutes lag off in okc, like you will still appear online even though you already logged out. he said he had in the past gone from one serious relationship to another and wants to see what dating around is like. you’ve made a commitment to each other, it’s pretty clear to me. just wanted some suggestions from you about moving on or should i still date him as it really bothers me and also when he tells me that he doesn’t know what he really wants. so i know this is wrong but i decided to make a fake profile using my sister’s photos since she lives in another country. shellbell – i’m emailing you a response on this (sorry for the delay if you wander back! and he said he had logged in to show his friends my picture that i was the highlight of the weekend. started talking to a girl for around 2 weeks, we met on a dating website and have been talking daily. i met my boyfriend (i think) on plenty of fish in july and we’ve been hanging out, having fun since. to be honest, i’m not convinced that all the guys doing this even understand why. i did ask him two months ago to tell me if he wasn’t interested in me he just had to tell me. am his first relationship since a divorce from a 16 year marriage from a woman who had cheated on him. his only real response to all of this is that he is a different person now than he was then. after reading many of these stories i have somewhat of an undertstanding that this is not uncommon. i just don’t know how to deal with the pain. i finally told him he need to set up a specific date with me where we could go out and talk about this stuff together and privately., based on his responses to your previous questions, i get the feeling if you were able to prove he was using the services his response is going to be a strong one (and to me it seems like the wrong person is getting angry! but, i suddenly asked him about his still online in online dating or not? he wanted to take things slowly and was not ready to commit to a relationship though he liked me a lot and did not want to stop what we have. have been dating a wonderful woman for over 3 months that i met on match. i deleted my profile ages ago, but this afternoon i had a look and he is still using it. i asked him if we are exclusive and he said yes. however there are more things apparently he’s saying that i didn’t tell him “i love him” during sex which was odd to me because i have in the past, i even brought him breakfast the last time i saw him…. i think it would be better to try to stay away from him at this point…he’s lied enough that it will be hard to tell if or when he starts telling the truth! i could honestly envision us together for a long long time, and it just came as a blow. (that’s not the way i feel in reality but do you understand the point evan or anyone could make with that comment ? guess my queston is why does it seem like we are playing house with no real commitment? it’s the first time i’ve met someone like him. i was kind of shocked – as i was never part of this ‘game plan’ discussion, in fact he had not discussed anything further with me about living together! no reaction from him but when we were talking about the weekend it was clear he had no dates. to turn things around he tells me he likes me very much and misses me when he’s gone. set up some boundaries to lessen (not eliminate) the likelihood of this happening to me again. Dating services in santa barbara ca,
His Dating Profile is Still Active – Is He Interested or Not? - Onlinei want to pull back from him and stop seeing him, but it’s so hard to do when you like someone. i also thought it was kind of weird but i felt that if he was okay with me seeing where he was and i had nothing to hide then there shouldn’t be a problem. would you be at ease knowing that if you are looking online you cannot give the relationship a chance? is fabulous to have a weeded out process available in this day but the downside is evident. anyway, he tells me that he doesn’t have the desire to talk to or see anyone else. he’s saying that since the people who are contacting him put in the effort to contact him, he should respond to them. your situation is a little different because it sounds as if he didn’t have a dating profile when you started dating but now he has one (? i try to kind of ask, but he always makes me feel so stupid for asking, as i should (and think) i trust him.?Also since posting this, we’ve had more discussions, all of which have been helpful. as maree touched on earlier, these guys wouldn’t try to continue to pick up other women and real life and shouldn’t do so online either. not by his charm or anything, but by the effort he puts into being with me and everything..u just need to be patient and you will find them…. the assumption that guys see things just as women do is risky business…especially if you are rapidly ending relationships based on that assumption. i don’t know how it got to this point. guy had to be 70 and over…another thing he said he scuba dives…. i’ll replay some of the ugly stuff i learned about him like a broken record in my head and it gets me all tied up in knots again. does he seem like he wants something more with me? told him i understood as he is just newly ‘out there’. since then, he seems to put more efforts into our dates, but we don’t see each other as often as before. then a few days later he once again “ignored” a text. i’m happy to say i accomplished all those things and with support from my best friend, decided to start dating again – but i was certainly not looking for a relationship or to get serious. we did have the talk of being bf/gf and being exclusive. if we are not at work we are with each other 24/7. i asked about it and to his credit -it is an old flame and he hasn’t been on the site since april. i had asked him about this issue a few times and each time he just informs me that he is not cheating on me or dating anyone else. i added however, i know he wouldn’t take advantage of my kindness, and that i want him to feel hugged and to stay safe and alert out there.) – i’m glad my thoughts were helpful but at the same time i don’t want to come off as if i was saying you were “wrong” in your approach. realistically i believe that whether or not he has paid for a subscription, if he is interested in me – then he shouldn’t be using it!’ve decided to try online dating and found yourself talking to a man that seems promising., as i’m getting this question more and more often, i’m hoping the details i’ve included here can help you reach the point where he realizes there is no reason for him to keep his profile active any longer. he keeps saying he just gotten out of a relationship & do is not ready. – that’s its okay to continue chatting and even dating online while dating and building a relationship with one of us. i also took more time to look at his profile than i originally did the last time, and i noticed that at some point he uploaded a recent picture that he actually just posted to facebook back in april. since i feel that really good advice would require me to understand the relationship on some personal level, i can’t tell you exactly how to approach the situation., if you sent him a short email saying you were going to be in his area soon and you’d love to grab a coffee with him, i think that could work. lol but then proceeded to tell me that i “grew on him”.! now i’m really starting to panic – so without hesitation and with some authority, i look him straight in the eyes and tell him in front of everyone – ‘that is not a for sure thing yet, as we still have not talked about the details’. i know its him because of the wording he used and the things he is looking for. there will come a point that you will need to draw a line and make ultimatums but i’m not convinced one month into the relationship is that time (especially if you think you’ve found a great guy). you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like google for your love life! i don’t want to tell him i know about the profile because even if he appologises and deletes it. we like to do a lot of the same things, have the same smart a** sense of humor, both enjoy mind games (of the fun sort), have a very acttive sex life, laugh a lot, ecr ect…. them out to get some insight into what’s normal online dating behavior, and what’s definitely not ok. i have not confronted my boyfriend about this online dating profile yet. just want to take the time to say thank you very much for your insight and guidance. do you think he will change, or should i just move on and find someone else? this helped and joe would love to hear your thoughts…. and barely said much at all…this past week i got a bad feeling so checked the dating site where we met, and his profile (which wasn’t there a week before) was back up.! i just found out today he has another profile on pof i want to date other men but now i feel stuck…. you care for him and while some of his actions declare he feels the same way, other actions make things less clear. does he really think that i will be happy to settle for being his ‘she’ll do in the meantime’ girl? i asked if we were exclusive and he said yes. i’ve been dating this guy for 5 months now, we spend every weekend together. i mean i just met the guy, who am i to say that he cant. i’m not too sure because he was willing to have a baby with me if i let him, deff not ready now! am i naive to take a man at his word, given the statistics on infidelity? he was right where i was with my opinion, so again – a match. the funny thing about being in a relationship when you’ve been single for so long is that you go into it having all these preconceived ideas on how you would react to certain dating situations, and you prejudge your future relationships based on your past ones. few days ago she offerered to help her friend with her match profile. and when you find this out years later, you’ll feel doubly betrayed. friend of mine said that he is a pisces and thats just the way they are. thought through all of this for a couple of days before i brought it up to him. wonder what he’ll think when he sees his fiance’s new profile there. continued seeing each other and finally i just told him that i had made it clear in my profile that i was seeking a long term relationship and that he had indicated that in his profile as well. an extra tricky thing here is the kind of research that it’s taken you to reveal this activity. i texted him that i missed him, i havent mentioned anything to him about deleting his profile, i told him i deleted mine and he said he cant delete his from his phone. either way, you’ll know where you stand and be ready for whatever’s ahead. however, after a while i think we both stepped back slightly due to this situation. this will give her a chance to explain herself and you the opportunity to weigh all the facts before deciding whether you’re happy with where the relationship is headed. i just started working full time and could not show enough income on paper to get another apartment that fast. he told me he was going away for 2 days for work (this is true), so i took that as a hint not to text because he was busy. days ago i was having one of those days where i was thinking about it all too much and letting it get to me again. i told him that it hurt to see him on the site and that i felt that everything was going good and i did not understand why he was on. i’d say that long of “exclusive” dating should be long enough for someone to know if they’re ready for that step. are you paranoid someone is going to do you wrong even when you’ve just been on one date and they don’t owe you anything yet? then about two months after, i went on the site with my friends user info and searched for him. he mentioned twice that nobody comes to his apartment but me. he however did not, at first it did not really bother me. however: “now things are fine, but i do feel like this whole situation burst the bubble a little bit. doesn’t he realise i am losing trust in him? i was completely honest with him that i had looked him up, and he told me that he ex-wife took his old computer after they split up and that’s the computer he had used to sign up. on, my now boyfriend and i started dating and it was casual dating for both of us. last week we went out for meal, he came back to mine, we slept together again, he went home that nite, he txt me as usual to say he got home, we said it was a lovely nite and then good nite to one another. erica – i’m honestly not sure how you could get him off the sites barring getting more aggressive with him about it. not in that place to talk about exclusivity but one thing that i find bothersome for me is when i see he is online immediately after i’ve left his place or he’s left mine. i am trying my hardest not to bring this up again, but the recent picture really has me thrown for a loop. the other day i did have to make a little remark where i said, you know…i know you arent in this for the long hall, (i only said this because when he told me he loved me, he also said…”this doesnt mean i necessarily feel i want to spent the rest of my life with you…wtf? there were a lot of other things said, and over the course of numerous conversations. he is still getting messages from other women on there and i told him that she accidentally hit it (i didn’t even act mad) and he turned it around like it was me and said i was probably snooping (this time i really wasn’t! the next day, he disappeared and went totally dark on me. would it be acceptable if he continued to go along to such events and chat and flirt with other girls? i told him if i ever considered dating another man i would be honest.! i said i really like you and have knocked back dates from others too as i was seeing and sleeping with him, he said, he knocked back dates too! but it was apparent that he was really hung up on her.! yes he needs to appreciate what he’s got instead of fretting about what he’s missing out on. my problem is when i date i can only focus on 1 guy and 1 guy only. i admitted to snooping through his phone, and laid out everything i had found and discovered. he then when he was at mine told me he wanted to keep me satisfied so i didn’t go elsewhere! i wouldn’t want to be with someone who treated me the way he’s treated you and because of that, i do think you should start looking to date someone else.’s no scarcity here and everyone is replaceable even you and i. in the article above i recommended that you update your profile to show him you’re still active. thus, on occasion i sense her guard is up a bit. he claims a friend must have hacked his account as a joke and that he still wants stuff to work. we talked a lot about what we want in life, our values and dreams, and they match almost 100%. i now realise that i never actually asked outright for any of them to take down their profile to be with me exclusively. i don’t know if i should give him more time or move on to find someone who is more committed to me. i accepted that and enjoyed it, assuming the best – giving him the benefit of the doubt, just as he did to me. we met on a dating website, and the relationship took off right from the start. i told him if he’s not that into me, then he’s more than welcome to leave. each time i saw/found out my guy went online after going out with me for a while i felt sick, duped, confused about where i stand, no longer confident about how he felt about me or what i thought the relationship was, suddently totally insecure and worst of all foolish…. month 4, i told him i was really enjoying getting to know him, and that my feelings for him were growing in a way i had not expected, and realized that i had reached a point where i would like to include him more into my life and allow him to meet my children (they are teenagers now). he wouldn’t make out with me that night – he said ‘i don’t want your friends to think i only come over for one thing’.’m realizing that the bottom line is, i don’t trust him anymore. a little reminder on what they’ve already found could do some good…and if it doesn’t at least you can be confident that you need to keep looking for the right guy. he can get you a hotel room and take you on a road trip but logging into a website and removing his profile is beyond his time and resources? he’s an adult and for whatever reason, this is the choice he’s making right now. i understand not wanting to fight and dropping it but his excuse for being on the site was pretty weak…. i never stopped reading your books, and checked up on myself often. you can’t bring yourself to be more aggressive about the situation in person, one thing you could try is to also create a profile on the site (if he’s using a free one). if you really want to find out if she’s still using the app, you could ask your friend to reach out and see if she responds but we wouldn’t recommend it. he said he is so excited to date and see me, and already planned where our date would be. literlally with in mins of saying good nite to me he was online, he disappeared for a few min and then came back up and now his profile was saying he was looking for a relationship, so it went from nothing serious to looking for! almost feel as if i am growing walls around my heart so i don’t come out……don’t people build walls to not let anyone in? six weeks isn’t too early to have a conversation about commitment. so i would hope her relationship with him would encourage you to be more aggressive about understanding what he’s doing. what mattered was that we were happy, and he treated me respectfully and lovingly. 1: his profile is live but you’re not official yet. i think you’d be better off talking about it now (assuming you can’t stop worrying) than waiting another four months and being miserable with concerns. you had a feeling about both of those guys and you were able to go online and have your suspicions confirmed. last night i met his daughter for the first time. there’s evidence that he may be talking to an ex…. asked me about it in person i said i was checking his profile. we continued to date and then on valentine’s day we broke up officially. it seems that this was the choice he was making prior to you making an issue of it so i really don’t think your actions need much scrutinizing. if you don’t get a response to that you’ll definitely know something is wrong. i had been on a few dates from the site, and was just about to lose interest completely when i met him. did you feel when you saw that they were “active within 24 hours”? if he’s just looking for his ego stroking, he shouldn’t need it right now should he? well after we had sex and all he is still interested cause we went out again and i told him i had my period and he didn’t care. i think that might be a next step: to let him know that you’re very unhappy that he keeps his profile up. i recently signed up on another website and have been looking at other prospects because i feel even though i care about him, i don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket if he is unsure of me as well. use of the word “spied” leads me to believe this is not something you will look on favorably, evan. after that we never said another word about it and have been hanging out like nothing happened. i said i had made an account and saw him on there. we had a look and he has changed his profile to looking for women for friends. i’d love to hear how things turned out if you stop back!.So i’ve learned to live with the on line dating snafoos and chalk this up to him just needing to feel like a rock star to make him feel like a kid again…. so i don’t think it’s impossible that the man you are dating is not actually using the site with intent to meet someone, so much as to flirt or assess his worth on the dating market. – i need to wrap this up, it’s way longer than i meant for it to be! just looking for a suggestion on how to handle this is all. i know it hurts right now but i suspect it will be for the best in the long run and i’m glad it didn’t go on any longer than it did if he’s (finally) being honest with how he feels. have been dating this guy i met on okcupid for a few months now. so it concerns me when i found out that his profile is still up and he goes online like pretty much everyday. it seems to have disappeared overnight and i feel lousy and worthless. he immediately guessed my name – so guess at this point he’s only seeing me. their profile was still active on the site but hadn’t been visited for a while, and someone viewed their profile or sent them a message, and they popped in to check it out. i was very upset & contacted him – he came over & not only calmed me down but sorted things out for me. and her bf opened the door by mentioning he was logging into the dating site to look at old messages (what a crock of horse hockey) and by saying she was not his “top match. questions to you are these, one thing that sort of bothers me is that we are exclusive, however he only hid his profile. he has not only changed his profile picture, he has added a picture from our trip, a picture that i took of him. i did that, but no response…he claims he fell asleep..the “needle in the haystack” ohh that makes me so mad. How to find out if he is dating someone else
Have You Ever Spied on Someone to See if They're Still Using thehe told me “let’s go inside and delete it right now, together” we tried but the site was having an error.’ve had several readers write me after they argued with the man they were dating to ask if i thought they had made the right choice. he didn’t get mad at me all, even for snooping. he then says, oh, i thought it was because of me. so when that happens hell yeah i check online dating sites to see if they still on…. have absolutely no clue what to do and i hope you can help me. i think in many of the cases listed here, if the woman waited for the guy to make a commitment…well, it might never happen! we proceed to see each other two more times, before i went on vacation for 5 days to cancun (alone). that’s how things went for my wife and i when we met online. gaining my trust, after my past, is not an easy task and he has managed to do it. he remains curious and i increasingly uncertain of where i stand. we both want to get married, so this site and our culture is the norm for that. kinda confuses me…but i have created a fake profile on the same site with no picture and said that i don’t have any kids and made myself 2 inches taller and also put that i live in the town i grew up in.?Recently, i started dating a man i began to realise i really really liked. he even offered to show me the “fake” account he was using to help his friend. after almost 4 months, i was really falling for him, and had stopped dating other guys after month 3. so i said i cant speak now can he call me later. on sunday (and i knew he was going to do this) he cancelled saying he had to go to meet his folks for lunch he didn’t even reschedule. a few weeks ago we got back together or at least started seeing each other again and were saying the l word and he said that he didn’t want to sleep with anyone else, so we were monogamous. i don’t like to come across as the vulnerable one & dating commitment phobes in the past has made me tougher so i don’t want to bring up a conversation of where are things going or mention his profile still being up. i agree men need women to tell them how and what they feel since men aren’t mind readers but then, neither are women. met a coupld more times and then slept together, its not something i do easily at alllllllllll, it just felt right at the time. was really keen to see a pic of me so i showed him a few not too close up, he kept asking for closer pics…………. a man doesn’t use online dating for anything other than it’s intended purpose – to meet new women. i know a woman who has gone as far as checking her boyfriend’s phone to see “last number dialed” or checking his emails while he was in the shower & had left his email account open on his computer screen..and during all this, we are both still active on the dating sites…. i asked if his feelings changed at all towards our situation. dating apps and sites give you the option to change your relationship status from single to married to everything in between. you could continue to date him if you want, but if he says that he loves you but refuses to take down his profile even when he knows it bothers you…well, i find that very concerning. i checked, and again i was right on the money (i should have read this blog before so i did not do what i did again) i called him out, this time he flat out lied and got verbally abusive. that text he sent to me by mistake screams that messing up with me bothers him.’ve checked and he’s not been online since i mentioned it so hopefully it’s made him think. however there is one problem: his dating profile is still active. having her suspicions validated gave cindi the confidence to have bring up her relationship status, even though she didn’t divulge her knowledge. hey, if a woman did it to me and let me know i’d say “were not exclusive i’ll email and date anyone i want and you should too”. our emails were immediately riveting and he even told me it seemed like we knew each other for ages. he goes out of his way to text me just to say hi, good morning, or see how my day is going. i made up a fake profile and decided to check to see if he would respond. a man can frame it any way he likes, but the simple truth is that a man doesn’t keep his dating profile up unless he wants to keep his options open. i’ve seen this with some regularity talking to people over the years and while i can’t say for certain, that might be what’s going on here. whether he’s just checking until it expires or he renewed after he showed me the cancellation it still means he clearly isn’t that into me. so looks like he pulled one over on me and is still online. but he still checks it daily so im kinda confused. if we are “exclusive” (without titles that express commitment), than why the need to continue prospecting? when he tried to confirm, i told him i hade forgotten we had a date and promised lunch to a friend.” sure enough, they were both active within the last 24 hours. it’s hard for anyone to initiate a discussion based on a hunch or intuition, even if you trust your gut. that moment i realised i really do have feelings for this guy. i deleted mine because i was sick of the in box messages and found someone (him) that i really liked. this means no going against his grain or his rules. he may like you, he may love you, he may be into you but…. that for the first time since his divorce, he is ready for a full on commitment, and that it just took him a really long time to get there. have you been 100% open with him on how all this makes you feel? his last email he said he was thankful to me for giving him the kick & the confidence to get back out there., just for clarity’s sake, the jennifer of comment #11 is not me, the jennifer of the earlier comments and other comments throughout the blog.” four words no man or woman ever wants to hear at any point during their relationship. here’s how katz breaks it down in layman’s terms: “i don’t go to amazon to browse books. so my question is should i be concern about his profile is still up and he’s still checking it, since i never mention or ask him to take it down. oh well i guess i’ll never meet another woman again…lol welcome to the internet ……. ren – at this point i’d suggest giving him a bit more time. i tell him i am very busy through the week and can manage saturday. find out how i failed at first but then had great success with online dating – download my free 100+ page online dating guide ebook today! to hear your experience went that way kelly…i promise not all guys are bad though!! such a great gift for valentines day 🙁 if he does try to sweet talk me in the future what should i do? situation is very similar to what had been described in a few of the comments earlier. the next morning he begged to meet me and we agreed to brunch on sunday (9 jan). she says he’s on it regularly and this evening while he’s texting me on the phone, she calls and says, “he’s online at match right now”. do i trust him and only spy if something feels not right with the relationship? and yes, i recognize gals can be just as guilty of this as guys. he might already think of the two of you as exclusive (at which point you’d want to talk about taking any profiles down if you want to be exclusive as well).’v egot the same problem on ly mine is a little different. now whether you really talk with other guys is up to you…but honestly, i think it wouldn’t be a bad idea to actually do so. so how on earth can it be acceptable to do it online! spying is a loaded word when it comes to looking at a website! live in hope that not everyone is the same and that there are genuine men out there..and yes i do know he doesn’t reply bc i have access to his phone any time i want and he could give two hoots if i take it to use it…. i talked to him about it that night, asked him if he wanted to date other people, etc… all the questions other women on here have said. we have been seeing each other, twice a week for 7 weeks now. i have some serious trust issues from being cheated on in past relationships, but i’m trying not to let that cloud my judgement. think you can ask the guy point blank and he can still lie to you and say nothing is wrong. i met a guy on a dating app, we went on a date.…"sylvana on why men aren’t speaking up about the #metoo movement"i understand your view. i checked online today and it said that he was online today. a week goes by and it still says active within 24hours. i relaxed and began to enjoy the journey, tentatively falling a little by little for him. i keep creating these scenarios in my head and i know i shouldn’t. asked my father years later why he did nothing when this happened.)anyway,i said, so i am just going to enjoy this while we’re here. was pretty angry at my outburst……that friday i wrote him, apologizing for acting instantly rather than sitting with my feelings and just blowing up on him. asked him about this, and told him that while i had no wish to pry into his personal life, the question for me was whether he was looking to keep his options open for now, it being early days. i was getting player’ vibes from him by this time. thing about the advice above is that someone women will want to start this process immediately after the first date.” we also did the “in a relationship” status on facebook. there was all these messages from the dating website that we meet on. the fact that you’re taking the time to answer each person is truly amazing. it has been another 2 weeks after that conversation and his profile is still active.’d never be stupid enough to tell any women what i do anyway from being on this blog or studying the game,psychology,relationships,etc…. but he said we were going to hang out all day but now we cant. never apologize for checking up on a person who has lied to you and promises to do better. i mean, if he meets someone else online it’s not as if you’re exclusive any longer.! week four, another i love you, and a few more fun filled evenings. you are risking stds,emotionally injuring people who deserve respect and maybe losing out on a really good person. i was very worried because i knew that as an army soldier, deployment is always imminent. we text when we aren’t hanging out or he calls on lunch, and he is always talking about our future with my daughter.. i brought up the subject and he insisted it was nothing that he had an app on his phone and would click on it when bored but that he would remove the app. to me, he sounds like a guy who can’t admit when he’s found a good thing and wants to keep his options open…but this sort of thing is only going to make his life (and yours) more difficult.” he took my hand, placed it on his chest which was beating as fast as mine and said with a smile “it’s what happens when you’re falling in love” a few days later, he updated his headline on pof to “undecided” —- i dont even know what that means. he said that his ex did not want his daughter at my house anymore and that was that.” just so i could see when he’s online (not to get a response. i realize she’s already reached that point where it would be devastating for her to lose him but allowing it to continue only to have things end over this a few years from now isn’t going to improve things for her. he’s been too busy to delete it and also his friend is using it to find women. met an amazing guy about 2 months ago and we decided to only see each other. i know you make a case for not doing this in your comment but i worry that there is some risk in expecting a man to recognize:The moment when it is obvious you are both moving towards proper committment (and not even by the time’ you have committed to exclusivity verbally). i want to trust him, but my heart doesn’t understand why we’re not together if he “loves” me?’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months but he continues to be active on dating sites. i think having the talk on this will clear that up and if he still won’t take his profile down, i think that will be the sign that something is really wrong. i’ll add to that by writing that i think until people are exclusively dating that it is fair to leave the profile up. are you ok that you may hurt both of you because opportunities come easier and in catalogue style online? we were out for 10+ hours and he was telling me he hasn’t been out in a while or on a real date in almost 5 years. a friend advised me to keep dating other people, but i’ve never really worked that way… but i do feel i need to back off a bit from this man. if he can’t answer where you stand after your first conversation don’t go and demand to know by such-and-such a date. i want to take it the relationship slow too but i also don’t want to be seeing a guy that is looking for the bigger better deal. a month ago, i complained about his dating profile still being active. he was bored, and it made him feel good about himself. the same story on above, i had the same story. to me this makes it feel as if hes expecting us to fail or something. they like having women contacting them…even if they are rejecting all of them as it makes them feel desirable. when i quizzed him, he said casual meant no rules & includes going on dates. i asked him about going to the movie again and never heard anything back.’ve been dating the same guy for 4 months and today i asked him where i stand and he is not answering me back is he hiding something from me. you been dating exclusively for 3 months or have you not had a talk on being exclusive? ever since then i can’t think about anything else and i still feel sick to the very core, i just want to know why he would do this! given how much time we spend together, it’s really difficult for me to make a case against him keeping his online dating profile up if his ridiculousness of a truth is, in fact, a truth at all. he also said that he would fetch me in the airport. we had talked about it over the phone and via text message and it left me unsettled, but talking to him about it face to face has made a serious impact on how i felt. i did bring up exclusivity but he said isn’t it too early? second, the idea that he can’t delete his profile because he only logs on from his phone is silly…it take 30 seconds on a computer to remove it. he wanted something casual at the moment’ but wasn’t sure if he wanted to see others. to cilla’s #2: i might catch flack for my point of view on this, and that’s ok, we all have different opinions, but to address the part about what you said about someone has “to break the cycle first and risk getting hurt”? he goes to this site and changes his status without thinking about his profile text and logs out. next time he told me the love business i told him i saw him online. have both been under a lot of pressure and stress this past year and i haven’t had the guts to bring it up. across the country, today is the first day i haven’t heard from him at all, even though i’ve made several attempts. that i will want to continue in the same way knowing he is looking/browsing for someone else? you two have ongoing sex in any form , have respect for yourself as well as her and anyone else you are whispering to in bed – and either become exclusive if its going well or let her find a man who knows her worth and would like to share life with her. who make first move in online dating are rewarded, study finds. in about another month or so, he will know for sure if he will stay here or be sent away, and we have agreed to talk about being officially exclusive at that time. if you do it without anger, i can’t see how he would object (although i think your anger was appropriate before). is not too much to ask that a man put other girls aside for the moment but sometimes it’s important that you explicitly ask it! before i proceed let me give you a bit of a background i had broken up with my ex 2 days before xmas since he had been mia for 2 months which drove me insane. it sounds like this guy decided to start looking again but wasn’t going to tell you. i’m in the same situation with someone lying about being online hunting for ladies. before all this i knew we have a whole lot in common and there was a lot of chemistry and sexual tension plus i really like him. i definitely can not be physical with him if i know he is talking to other people. then i said how about we just put this off till next week but he seemed eager to see me cause he said no let’s meet on saturday. but he’s still so kind to me to help me in my time of need. i noticed that he was not his normal self around me. as you approach being exclusive, obviously it would be a problem but since you say that’s not where you’re at, i’d leave it be. why would a man want to keep me as his friend after he knows he’s messed up? there is no shame in publicly searching as a guest when he has or she has already lied or had been interested in emails and winks from people on there once exclusive. your questions at the end, i believe intuition is a powerful thing. he promised again he would delete it as soon as he can get back on and he promised i would never have to go through something like that again.
#229: You must chill (online dating edition). | Captain Awkwardsuggest dating people offline if you want to make a more genuine connection. all that being said, i do have some family issues in my life, i have a brother who has a drug/alcohol problem who is always getting in trouble that i have to look out for, my mother passed away 5 years ago but it still feels like yesterday. jessica – i think it would probably be best to ask him what he’s looking for in a relationship since that conversation hasn’t come up. are you ok with easier opportunities via online dating while shagging her? i know it sounds petty but he is being petty by saying stuff like that to you and even being on those sites.” he told me i was being needy but that he wanted to continue seeing me, but not be exclusive. i told him that ever since he had mentioned going back on the dating site, that something seemed off. i feel like i’m just there and he is still looking for something better and it makes me feel bad. also said she wasn’t one for dating sites ( no sense) and if a guy was to try and talk to her she would say she was dating someone., online dating is still new and it changes all the time. my membership came to an end shortly after we started emailing and i chose not to renew – i’m now off of the site, and he knows this. ive been with my boyfriend 3 months, we spend every weekend togther and plan to do things. we laughed so much, i couldn’t even remember when a guy made me laugh like that! we just started “casually dating” i’m seeing other people and there’s thousands more all over the internet. still, these are areas you will need him to define. actually i have some of my toiletries in his bathroom and he’s fine with that. he just asked me something else, i answered and then he asked me to send me a pic and then i answered “for what? he said he wasn’t seeing anyone but me at present, but he wanted that option open. clients"i've always disliked self-help, but from the moment i started reading, i felt you were talking to me. he replies within a min and we text for hours until i get sleepy and tired. those of you that ask why about how i found his profile, my friend created a blank account to check her dishonest husband a few years ago, and i logged on (with her permission)…my profile has been down for a long time.” i then printed this section out and asked him again if he was cheating on the internet and he looked me straight in the eyes and said: “definitely not”. if she says she’s not comfortable with that because of her past experience, i’d try to be understanding. said, she has let me know her prior bf cheated on her the whole time they were together. i have only been seeing this guy for three weeks. he wants to keep talking to other women, which could eventually end your relationship, but in the mean time he wasn’t to continue with you. he said that he is very much excited in seeing and dating me, and already planned on where we would go. i had a dinner date that evening & due to some sudden dramas it didn’t go ahead – i came home & realised i couldn’t find my mobile. he told me he would remove his profile and that he was so sorry he upset me. i would also like to include in here that she has sent him text messages from her phone, and is talking about setting up a date with him. non the less i started to warm up to the idea. i’m headed to a wedding across country and he’s not happy with the fact that i have a date.! i’m not saying to all sean connery on him and look at his emails, etc…but there are a few things you can do to make sure he’s not jerking your chain. surely… surely it means he is ‘not really that into me’ etc. whether you call it spying, checking, or validating your suspicions, what it comes down to is a lack of trust. on the other hand i don’t want to continue to put a lot of time and effort into this relationship if she’s looking for something else as i don’t want to be the fallback guy either…. he said that i was making a big deal out of nothing. which privately causes me to panic…but i told him i was open to the idea and to talking about it further. i think there might be a third option which would be to do a little of both. this may not be the most polite way to go about things, but it’s their prerogative.” so obviously, i creeped today and you can see (even if you’re not a member with a profile) if a username of a profile exists. is not a river in egypt and you can do a non member search to check if he or she has lied to you before. he did not introduce me as the “girlfriend,” but simply by name. a guy checking his dating profile isn’t always a sign that he’s unhappy and based on your agreement i guess it’s fine for him to do so..but im starting to feel a bit strained because i just dont know where this is all going. he said he loved me for the first time and i said it back. out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women. don’t know what to do at this point – my friends say just lay low, wait it out, don’t contact him anymore and see what happens – my gut is leading me into the mindset that he found someone else while i was away, or just decided he went too fast and is now backing off way too much. he said things to me like “you have a lot of stress in your life, and it’s stressing me out etc. only problem is that i now trust no-one and everyone i meet on the net is suspect, although now i keep my profile up (even though i do not use it) so at least they know i my profile is still active. its called self control or let her go find someone who will value himself and her enough to not open those tempting emails and winks. may be hiding something…although it may not be that he’s looking to date other women. in my mind the matter is so simply about respect and i find it difficult to understand how to tolerate the ‘continues to actively online date’ thing…. on the other-hand, if everything is fine and he’s just been busy you’ve done no harm and might even kick-start things again. haven’t, but i don’t harshly judge people that have because i understand why they would. most important thing here is not to lie to _oneself_. he cuddled me beautifully the entire night – it was sweet. my sister looked on her computer from he account as she is on there, too. after 6 months of dating, he still introduces me as a friend to people he knows when we go out. we slept with each other again, and we also hit it off in that department too 😉 so everything was really awesome and i just thought “i hope it’s not too good to be true! you don’t have to be aggressive when you talk with him about this but i would be direct and ask him straight out where you stand and explain the confusion he’s creating for you. i still had my profile up and so did he. he seems genuine but he won’t take his profile off & commit. i have tried to keep my “option open” by staying on the site – but it just makes me feel bad…. he would lie and say ” oh that’s not him”. as it turns out, he was talking with other women – don’t know if he slept with any of them, but he was definitely out on the hunt. last night i didn’t hear from him at all. everyone and a while i would get on his phone or computer and check. as i’ve recommended to others, it may be best to talk with him about where he sees things going. he asked for my msn and said he is getting on with me shockingly well……….. he told his fwb girl ‘love you’ in a text, and that was a little over a month after we first met. week two came and i found that while i was waiting for him to respond to a text i sent (45mins) he was on the dating website from his phone. re-enable your profile, let him know that you no longer consider your relationship exclusive but you hope to continue to date him, and then start looking for other guys to date. and i don’t feel like i wanna see others either. i want to be with someone who is at least sure enough to put all the other girls in the world aside for a moment and give the relationship the attention and respect it deserves – for however long ‘it’ lasts – for whatever ‘it’ is. recently, he mentioned that he logged in to the dating website to see messages we had sent one another in the beginning.! he then texted me & lashed out saying he had had a bad day & that he felt he was being ‘witch-hunted’ & that he had spent money contacting my ‘friend’ & felt he’d been sucked in. i wonder why dating is so hard for myself but seems so easy for others. i checked the messages tonight and it said he was online now so i messaged him with hi how are you, he didn’t respond. and my suspicions were validated–way to deflect the conversation from what was essentially him cheating to me being distrustful! you don’t want his profile up and that’s what i think you should have said. but here’s why i would look: one of the ways to get on my wrong side is to insult my intelligence and play me for a fool. we were going to hang out all day but he told me yesterday that it’s his friend’s birthday on saturday, i mean how do u forget that? maybe he’s that guy, but maybe he’s not."he is smart, loving, funny, a perfect travel partner, and really wonderful.. it’s really sad that we have to deal with stupid men that don’t know how to respect what it is to be in a relationship.. i’ll summarize the positive and negative of what i found:He had not been texting or emailing other women since over a year ago (at least from what i could tell).! this after he tells me he’s the luckiest man to have a great catch like me. soon after he tells me his parents want him to start thinking about seeing a family friend’s daughter from the same background as them. i just want to share another way of looking at it…so maybe you need to change but maybe not. he was very attentive towards me & was making plans to go to football games with me. luckily, i had a friend that was on (in another city) write him and flirt, etc. there are some great guys using dating services but sometimes it takes having a good deal of patience to find them. then necxt evening, when we arer leaving, we hav an odd goodbye, but then i guess we always do. between monday and thursday i noticed he was logging in. but it was shocking to see what all he had been doing during that time and i was completely in the dark about it. how can a man give me a stupid meaningless ring and tell me he can’t to get married to me etc and then do something wreckless? he checks his emails in front of me and i didn’t think much of it that he still got emails from another dating website and he had said he couldn’t remember the password. i told him i wasn’t the kind of person looking for a casual relationship and he confirmed he was also looking for a long-term relationship. now im starting to question if i should stay in this realtionship or go. i, the obsessor that i am when i genuinely have feelings for someone, made a fake profile and emailed him “hi! so as our conversation goes i knew he was referring to me the girl he was seeing. i mean he seems like a decent guy and all but i guess i’m just worried. we met on a dating site and i knew when we started dating his profile was hidden ( i wanted to show my friends who he was but couldnt find it! day 3 he texts me and apologizes for his coldness and tells me that i don’t deserve that.” for some people that could mean dating only one person, for others it could mean sleeping together, for others it means contemplating a long-term, committed relationship. that evening me and my friend were going to move to another location and i texted him to let him know. i am just going to start dating other people and not even worry about it. and no a guy views dating so differently to us that it can only be expected that removing his profile is repeatedly a delayed occurrence. you are old and wise enough to read the tos and have basic respect. my ‘dating’ experience had been extremely limited, despite being married and divorced twice. i became paranoid after i did the fake profile thing ., we went camping last week and i noticed he was texting another girl while i was curled up next to him but i didnt say anything, i didnt really see what they were talking about it but it made me kinda concerned. 6 months into the relationship, i told him i needed a break – that seeing him searching for the next best thing (as i saw it) was hurting me. one instance, i just let the relationship fade without confronting him about it. i just think i could get hurt if i asked him where things are going more so than if i just moved on, perhaps if i contacted him less he might get the message…. since then, i’ve decided that’s the way i want to handle any future relationships, because any actions on my part that i wouldn’t want my man to know about are actions that erode the relationship. doesnt seem like he is committing to the relationship or caring about my feeling the past few days. keep your options open and don’t care too much about what the men do…care about how it makes you feel. again he pushed it back on me and i had had enough. i pay closer attention to a man’s activity online. things were tough at first but then they seemed to be getting better. i will tell you that he does the same with his job though. i txtd him the next afternoon when he said he was done work, and asked him if he could meet me somewhere because i needed to talk to him, i was having a bad day (it actually wasn’t about him, rather than my pseudo grandfather had fallen ill, and i just needed a shoulder to cry on). curious of anyone’s thoughts on this…been going out with a guy i met online. but i do remember in the summer we seemed very close. on friday (13 jan) he tells me that he was going to his mates place for dinner so if i’d like to join. have the same story as above, i started dating this guy a month ago. we just did our first vacation together, and he brought up that how can i not trust him after we just did all that, and we’re so close bla bla bla, we’ve come so far…. had trouble getting her on the phone as thats something shes uncomfortable with and shes unsure about being able to visit cause of money going towards a course. things had been going wonderfully, we spent a lot of time together, almost every other day, and texting/phone conversations every day. should i be worried or should i just take it easy, breathe, and see how the next 2-4 weeks go? he wanted to meet me on sunday evening but i couldn’t and then i was shocked to see that he had repeatedly logged into his account. well i found out he is now with a seperated lady he met online. just finished it on the assumption that he had had plenty long enough to decide if he liked me a little bit or not. i told him i like the idea of living together, but seriously needed to talk about things before it could actually happen. he actually messaged a friend asking if she wanted to chat and that she was the only woman he was talking to. neither of us had an official discussion about bf/gf labels yet, but i wasn’t in a hurry for all that stuff, as everything truly felt great and was going so well. i am not the jealous type, so at the time didn’t think twice about these comments. i was able to see his messages and as of today it shows that he had logged in and there were messages from women in which he had responded to just a couple of hours earlier before i came home. sometimes it is good to check as it is an indication if someone has been online and is not answering you back anymore that i can move on. off, let me say that this guy’s “reason” for keeping his profile online makes absolutely no sense to me. would you be hurt if she did this to you and slyly hooked up with another guy? very sad to see all the comments on here about the hardships that everyone is experiencing. do not trust online dating anymore too many bad experiences and too many shady characters. that being said, i believe a month of spending time together is a good general time frame to expect some concrete definition to your relationship, especially when you’re going out of your way to interact with each other every day. dezi – i would say giving it a bit more time wouldn’t hurt (only because it would be nice for him to bring the idea up). i’m of the mindset that the woman should not be the pursuer. for the last few months this has been by far the question i’ve received most often from readers. one month down the line he stopped refferring to out future, except he will only speak to me current situation and only refers me as gf. i immediately drove over to his house, and asked him (not in an angry or confrontational way) if we wanted to date other people.’ve been seeing this guy a little over 3 months now. he then said, “maybe i am looking for a committed relationship and i just haven’t found the person to have that with yet..whether she gets her “intuitions” confirmed or not, because she will not rest until her those uneasy feelings are validated. after all, you don’t want to jinx the relationship before it even has a chance to start. i get that idea and if he were actively looking to meet new people i could even agree…but if he’s only logging in to respond to new emails why not remove the profile so all those women don’t have to “work hard” in the first place? that said i don’t know how he could possibly cheat because we’re together all the time but i have looked at the sites he was on and some do say active every now and then or active in so many days……. during those 6+ years, i focused on raising my two sons, building my career, healing and finding myself and my own happiness. how many girls he’d been with sexually and not: not many, and if he was dating anyone else: no, and if he was what i like to call a serial dater, dating many at once. just don’t do so in a confrontational way: just let him know you care about him and you need to know where the two of you stand. he said it all has actually caused him to love me even more and strengthen his commitment to me, which he acknowledges might sound strange, but that is the affect it had for him. now in the position where i dont know what to do now?
The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do? | Life
The Creator of the First Online Dating Site Is Still Dating Online. i guess cos he doesnt want to be too attached? he brought up my fake profile but i told him i did ‘t want to talk a put it cos i am still hurting. i think for now, you might want to hide your profile in the off chance that he’s keeping his profile up because he still sees yours is up. met my boyfreind on the site in april 2012, we spoke over txt for like 3 weeks and met up. in her case, it is very reasonable for her to expect her guy to offer some clarity on where he sees their relationship going. i would rather have someone that challenges me and pushed me to be a better person every day, and i intend to do the same. we were very intense the first month seeing each other all the time and every weekend. in the cases where his profile is still up, i would expect that another month after bringing up your concerns is all it should take for him to decide (and it really should be much faster than this). think it’s totally “normal” and i’m sure everyone looks to see when the last time a person they’re dating was or is online. while i agreed to casual & laid back – and only cos he said he’s just come out of a relationship & doesn’t want something full on (and i have too but i am ready) i did not saying anything about the seeing other ppl business. i also feel really guilty for the snooping online i can’t believe i have resorted to this i’m ashamed 🙁. he works the graveyard shift so it is sometimes hard to see eachother but we usually manage a couple times a week. i told her i recently gotten an email and deleted it but i have not been on in a long time. i also think if she didn’t respond the way i wanted i might put my profile back up. so i made up another profile to see if he would chat and low and behold, he started chatting and added me as his favourite! i read somewhere once that if it’s right there is nothing you can do to ruin it and if its wrong there is nothing you can do to make it work. i am not asking for a commitment or exclusivity but when he knows how much it’s hurting me why is he not turning it off? he said he broke up with her for me like that would make me feel any better. both cases, several months into the relationships something started to feel weird–less communication, more excuses why they were busy, etc. during that weekend we spent a lot of time walking around in the town where he lives, we had lunch and dinner in one of his favorite restaurants, and generally had a great time. i called match to make sure i did not falsely accuse him of being online if he was not. i was told once, when a dude knows he’s got you, you are screwed cause he will not invest then. unfortunately it seems that at this point you should have a conversation with him about this and where he sees things going…i’d hate to think that he’d be using you for a place to live (and hopefully that’s not it). he invited me to stay at his place and we again had a great time, very easygoing, no tension or uncomfortable feeling at all. i was upset since according to dating norm he should have paid. he asked me to cancel the recurring payments in paypal, which i did for him (english is his second language and he’s not terribly computer savvy). not quite sure, or just putting it aside for the next one. at this time he posted that he was “single” on ok and so did i. i find this truth out many many months after dating when she kept walking up into his house and always there when i came over.’d suggest talking with him and encouraging him to let you know when he’s feeling down or tempted to create a profile…but you need to be open and understanding if he’s going to be that honest with you (so no attacking if he admits he’s feeling that way).’ve been dating a man i met online for nearly a year. he did not have any sent messages in his sent out box. he introduced me to some guy as his girlfriend but tells everyone else i am his friend. i even told him i had to get his confirmation because i have trust issues with previous guys cheating on me. – my personal opinion is that you have every right to be concerned. till that time though we had exchanged numbers but he had not texted me. obviously the profile is not “just there” and obviously its not there for his friend’s use because he is putting up pics of himself and updating his own info. but what if you were dealing with guys that you hadn’t met online and what if you were dealing with guys who were a little better at covering their tracks? i stupidly rang him and asked if he wanted to be with me. i tried to give it back last week and he told me to keep it. it turns out he did want to break up, but “didn’t know how to tell me without hurting my feelings. we dated for a year and then we moved in together. he was moving the relatiosnhip way to fast wanting to move in etc. he’s mentioned having a vested interest in me, has talked about future (unplanned) visits, we text daily and talk almost every night. things were going great and he asked me to meet him on thursday. and he said that we are always together and i am always there, so he just started loving me i guess. said, if you’ve only been dating for 4 or 5 weeks, i think i’d recommend you just be patient for a while longer.’ve been talking with a man i met on a dating site for a couple of months now. he not only read the email but he also viewed my profile. i think it’s more likely he still wants attention or that he’s lying (unfortunately). either way, it’s better to know where you both stand. it proved to me this is someone i really want to be exclusive with. we also slept with each other…yes i know it probably wasn’t smart to have sex on the first date, but after talking to each other that much, i think we both just went with the flow. the things got escalated pretty fast and basically we end up sleeping on a second date. i generally do believe he does like me but he is just either not wanting to be hurt again so taking these easy or he is seeing other women. do wonder, how would he react if you had an active dating profile online? ive broght it to his attention so i hope it is removed soon. i don’t want to be walked over, and i don’t want to turn into one of those girls who checks up on him…. after the first date their was no question weather or not if i wanted to see him again, hope to be his gf and etc. think that many guys who use internet dating think of it as a “smorgesbord” and feel that it is their right to taste everything on offer! no i just think his curiosity is leaked and he can’t help himself bc of what i said above……at this juncture i know he’s not cheating, now if he replied that would be another can of worms not for this discussion…. i just believe that when the woman chases, the guy is lukewarm toward her at best. you brad we had a talk and it turns out he doesnt go on it and didn’t realise he had left it, he didnt think it was an issue. he goes online every day brad yesterday he was online in the morning and in the evening. i kinda don’t want him to see other guys in between the next time we meet up again. few days ago she offerered to help her friend with her match profile.? if this is the case, then ill do the same thing hes doing to me. the last time i met a guy on line and we decided to be exclusive, nothing more was ever said about whether our profiles were still up. he had not dated anyone else, and i believe him. he totally denied that he was on the site and could not see how the picture got on it. for when a guy knows that he has you, you’re screwed…i think that can work both ways. cut him some slack on this one, because if you haven’t had ‘the relationship talk’ and made things official and exclusive yet, then he might just be covering all his options in case you don’t feel the same way he does.” (yeah, this was a much better way to find out. i recently found that he had set up a profile on plenty of fish. he always will have one job and continue to look for a bigger and better job even if he has no intention of leaving the one that he has. to make a long story short, he and i are perfect together in every way but, there won’t be a fairy tale ending where we live happily ever after, not after tonight. if a woman is insecure (and we all are to some degree) and has trouble trusting, her relationship is doomed anyway. – it sounds to me like she’s keeping her options open and i’d recommend you do the same. important thing in my opinion, is to talk about it with your partner and don’t assume anything about what the profile showing means. we met on a dating site and were surprised to find that even though we live in a small town we had never met. a text with a friend he hadn’t spoken to in a while, the buddy asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he responded ‘sort of. think online dating in general is toxic since there are so many options and a lot of people have the “grass is always greener” mentality. if you see that he’s active all the time, you could send him an email from your dating account to his and ask him why he’s so active on the site. guess i’m wondering if he’s interested or not. we talk on the phone most nights since we are busy and live about 45 minutes away from each other. – it sounds like the confusing areas in your relationship might go beyond just the dating profile. later that night i noticed he had taken his profile off and i was very happy. he went bananas and said he was crazy about me. it would not be unreasonable for him to feel a bit miffed that you’re checking up on him behind his back; you are. i’m nervous that if i were to message him from that fake account he would indeed respond. he had me convinced i was the only one for him. i texted him yesterday and he said that he “saw” my text but was “super busy and forgot”. we were seeing each other multiple days a week, but enjoying every bit of it. however, now that he’s made the commitment i think it makes the next steps easier. if you haven’t agreed to be exclusive, i feel this is the point that the relationship would need to reach before you would be in a position of strength to ask that the profile be removed. in other words, in many of the cases described in these comments the woman is put in a situation where she needs to force the “let’s be exclusive” conversation. i hope he comes around to appreciate what he has instead of worrying about what he might be missing out on! i struggled with myself whether to bring it up or not about what i had found out, but then i decided to confront him. i felt sick and angry but said nothing… i calmed down and spoke to a friend next day and she was like, u need to say something. was noticing a few things even when i’d be around his neck of the woods and invite him to join me and my friends he wouldn’t. he promised that was not his intention and again said he would take his profile down, but needed help because he couldn’t figure it out. he wants to have the best of both worlds — that of being single, and that of being in a relationship — which now leaves us at the point of either breaking up or renegotiating the terms of our relationship. he responded with the patent ‘interested & looking forward to your email’. when we were a month into our relationship i told her i was not going to renew my match subscription because i only want her. i took some time to reflect and by the end of the week i realized how much i missed him. so anyway, i message him and he message me back. i was hurt but more disappointed because he told me that he would never hurt me like my ex s did or any man before him. i meet this guy on a dating site 3 months ago and we do have feelings for each other. he held my handhe put his arms round me and we had a lovely time once more. he’s opened up to me about lots of deep emotional things. has his ego been hurt that i was online when he had removed the earlier account? – that he could go back online without telling me – this feels like he is going behind my back in some way – though the forum is public so of course i then think the act of going back online means he is making a massive statement that he is no longer interested instead of having the respect and courage to say so to my face… if you know what i mean. i don’t know if you would necessarily want to “let it go” but at the same time if he’s keeping his options open you might want to do the same (including staying active online). as it turns out, he continued to see his fwb through mid december, sometimes he was ‘with’ both of us on the same day! i have already backed right off and only texted him yesterday after not hearing from him since my birthday which was 4 days before. he had asked me to meet his mom a few months ago, but we had to cancel and it has yet to happen. i bring it up, he says ok let’s talk about, and bam. the “let’s be exclusive” conversation hasn’t happened, i would recommend you start to slowly but intentionally determine if he feels your relationship is headed in that direction.. i also haven’t heard from him all day yesterday, but i didn’t think anything of it until i found out about the badoo thing. it hurt so badly, and it made me feel extremely dirty and disrespected that he would mess around with me and talk to others the same day. but my daughter has this thing where she loves to look at his pictures and since his phone is touch screen and she is only 3 she sometimes hits other buttons, well about a week ago she opened his browser and ended up on the exact dating site i am talking about. once the “exclusivity” talk came up (from my end): i asked if he was still on that dating site, because i took my profile down about two weeks after we met.? and do u think he is using me for sex ?. but i can’t relax with her until i know. i fell in love with this woman and didn’t even give online dating another thought…. i got my revenge though and set him up by using a friend’s profile to catch a great big rat (and even though it was me he was writing to he still lied and lied and lied) and i caught him out big time. in the following few days, i started to get that uneasy, intuition-y “something is up” feeling. to hear but this is how it should go if you expect to be trusted. i was not satisfied with his anwser so i kept a close eye on things. the dating expert goes on to say that while there is constant temptation to always be trading up, “the whole point of dating – for most of us, anyway – is to find one person that makes you want to quit altogether. long-distance boyfriend has met someone else but i still love him. have met an army man on an online dating site about 6 weeks ago, and we pretty much hit it off right from the beginning. oh, jb, if i found out the guy i was dating did that sort of thing, i would drop him just for that. i told him at the end, “i’ll get home and delete my profile :p” he goes, “so will i ren :)” so that night when he got home, we texted for about an hour and he told me what a great time he had and that he can’t wait til i’m in the same college as him so we can always be together. he pointed out to me the other day that he has a hard time showing affection and was asking why i stayed with him. i am such a great catch then why lose me? i wish these readers had written me beforehand because this is often the worst approach to take (at least from this guy’s point-of-view). when we first met he was so into me calling me all day and making his way to see me whenever he had free time. instead, it’s something you think has to be done as a courtesy and out of respect for that person when you know you’re going to eventually mess up. then today he calls me like nothing’s wrong and when he could tell i was uneasy talking to him he made a big fuss and said ‘well i can tell you’re in a bad mood so bye. had the same experience he told me i was he really liked me and the next time he came over he asked me if i wanted to be his gf then a few days later i didnt hear from him now i dont understand you need to spie on your man and see whats he is up to because if you want a relationship to work out you have to be on your guard with your man. when i didn’t hear from this guy till friday afternoon, i was in no mood to wait and was not happy and you can understand why since i had spent all my patience with my ex. if he’s introducing this way to some people but that way to other people, i think you have a right to know where you stand. we were meant to get married next month and now it’s been pushed back to easter. we have a lot of common interests and have so much fun together, but have had a couple of awkward conversations about exclusivity and where this may be heading. he replied jokingly asking if i stalk him haha and that he didn’t know why because he turned off his roaming of data to not have a cost explosion. sure, there is a degree of romance in having the guy take down the profile on his own. had not been on my profile since nov when we had the talk, and neither had he, but we didn’t discuss hiding or removing our profiles. you confront/question your partner about their recent activity on the site or remain silent? to save everyone confusion though, i think ‘taking the profiles down’ should be talked about outright, likely in the exclusivity conversation, and not something that is just assumed. though now, mostly i do it to see if he’s on. ultimately he said he thinks we need a break for a week or two – that things were getting messy & the last thing he wanted is to hurt me. but i knew i had to be supportive and not dwell on my fears, so i did the best i could to cheer him up and not burden him with my worries. hmm…i don’t think you should be looking for a way to blame yourself for his actions. one enjoys that but it's important if you really want to make a change and find the real thing. 20 minutes later he texted and told me i was far hotter’ in person. the fact that he changed his profile means that he still uses the site. and transparency are vital in a healthy relationship i feel for you. it’s almost like the allure that a casino has…you might win big but something make you want to stick around and try a little longer. i have never done online dating myself but because of my boyfriends profile i now log in under a fake profile every day to check his activity. i reminded him how his friend spied on me – he now says it wasn’t his friend but he himself. and this was the first time in my life that i had actually dated a variety of men at the same time. How to hook up fast on tinder
When He Can't Stop Shopping Around Onlinethat or i would just cut him off… the guy i used to see from okc has a new gf supposedly but he is still on there. the next day he says he went online and couldn’t find me. i can totally understand having caution after being cheated on, but at the same time you don’t want to wait months and months only to find out this might not go anywhere. ms curious – i’m not sure anything is jumping out at me here as requiring a lot of worry. but he did cancel on an invitation to join me at my friend’s farewell on sunday. to repeat the same thing, just wanted to see if you could help me a little. he is sending me all these confusing messages and i am afraid to bring it up again since we already had the talk. however, when i am interested in someone, i have noticed my enthusiasm for the whole process does wane and i end up not checking my message box as frequently. i couldn’t but told him to drop by the club where i was going with my friends. that was the last communication we had, and i am kind of glad that i didn’t say anything about the badoo profile, but i am now feeling uncertain of what really is going on, and if i should leave it for now or until he comes back in october? we havent spoken properly about this as this was late last night and when i rang i woke him. then in april he tells me he spoke to his 19 year old son who was still living at home but looking for his own place, that the game plan was to be out of his house by june 1st, that is when he would be moving in with me, so his son better get active in finding an apartment. texted me when he was out with friends, letting me know where he was and that he would call me once he got home etc. he got angry and said he wasn’t doing anything like that and he would take it off when he thought the time was right. met my current boyfriend online a couple months ago, he kept mentioning thing about me being his girlfriend so 2 weeks ago i asked if we were together and he said yes. i didn’t evern take him seriously on the date (even though i thought he was hot), i was joking too much to get rid of him but he seemed to like me alot and wanted to see me more. i said i just needed some reassurance and he told me to be reassured. then if it doesn’t, you could tell him a friend told you that she saw him actively online and you could ask why his profile is still active. he seems like a great guy, and the compliments are flowing but something is off. i’ve also checked up and i’ve bailed a couple of times when i found they were looking, not because i expected exclusivity at that point, but because i said straight up, “it’s fine if we see other people and not just each other, but be up front and honest about it”. i know it’s fair game and it’s just a first date, but i can’t help but think this way. another problem is that a few times he had informed me that he is confused and do not know what he wants in life or keeps on changing his problem which makes me feel so confused and disappointed. i took mine down, but months later realized he not only hadn’t taken his down, he also was “within 24 hours” also. they like to look and the crave for attention from the opposite sex.(from the chicago tribune) dating, offline and online, isn’t easy for anyone. i so like him that i cannot help but hope he realises what he’s letting go of. i would just be concerned that this type of game could continue for years. at the end of the day, you can’t really make someone be with you if they don’t really want to be with you. so i texted him jokingly that then whatsapp must be messing with me, because it says he was last online last night around 9pm. he’s told me his biggest fear is missing the boat’ as in not getting married and having kids at a decent age. opened a convo, i spoke to him like i normally do and we got on so well but he did notttttt kno it was me! he has had it rough…a lot of ups and downs with his ex who has refused to let him see his babygirl.. but at the same time i cant understand the need to have a conversation with guys on a dating site? he told my fake profile to understand that he’s looking for a ‘soulmate’ – really? low and behold, he had been online sometime in the last week, and had added new pictures. we have so much access to information now, information we never had in the past, but that doesn’t mean it should be used as a means to make us feel more secure in a relationship. he said that he never realized that was going on. joe it’s true what you say,my man hasn’t been on the dating site for almost 3 yrs but he still receives emails, i’ve checked up on his old one cause of the emails that still show up from other woman,yes his site still there but says he hasn’t been active on it for a long time. he claimed a guy he worked with asked him to check out and see if his wife was messing around. i’ve developed some very strong feelings for him and i feel that i am making the right move in continuing to see him. my thoughts are… this guy i am talking to and “having fun” with i will continue to do just that and will never tell him to take his profile down. when searching for profiles, my profile said i had been active within 5 days. is now going away on his own for the next week or so but when he is back i shall ask to see him. this might come off as being too ‘charming’ or ‘player-like’, but it’s actually not. even after three discussions and several screenshots as well as telling him how to delete his account and how to bury his cookie email tracks, he still could not resist. while it does look like he may be being a bit dishonest with you, there is a chance that he may, for some reason, think you’re not interested in a serious relationship. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, where there is deception there is no relationship. initially struggled with online dating but over time became quite successful using it. i have checked simply out of curiosity and really to keep myself from getting to attached at this point. he hasn’t asked to meet since i just nodded at his suggestion. he said that it was everything about me that turned his heart around and brought out the person he used to be a long time ago, and that he absolutely did not want to lose me."you really helped me filter and attract the 'kind, compassionate, funny' winner from the rest.” but i wouldn’t fault him much for looking at the fake profile. saw each other again, two weeks afterwards, i went to visit him this time. so as that sixth week approaches, i think it would be best if you let him know that you’re bothered by his profile still being up and see how he responds. i was shocked and sad about it, of course, especially since we just had spent a great weekend together but only met twice so far. long story short, he came and picked me up from the club i was at and he knew i was upset with him. then a day later i saw him driving around, i called him not to initially bring anything up, but when he didn’t answer we got into it and he said that he does want stuff to work but i can’t be so paranoid. you are obviously a man who already has a zero tolerance policy in place, and does not hesitate to enforce it. have been dating a wonderful woman for over 3 months that i met on match. i know it’s annoying but he’s being open about it and i don’t feel like anything you describe is “shady” (yet). in looking back, he never specifically agreed to be exclusive – i made that assumption that since we talked about it, and then continued to see each other, then that was the agreement. i just assume that if someone really likes you, then they would delete their online profile right away and they wouldn’t be so afraid of commitment. even though i told him that was one of the conditions for me if we were going to live together.” taking your profile down is the first step in saying “i have found the person i’ve been looking for. met a guy online from okc in january 2014, i was evicted 6 weeks afterwards for violating my lease after letting family members stay with me. i replied next morning and told him i had other plans since i thought we were on a break. he then said that he was going out at that time. and hes always cslling me, we spend every moment together that we can. we chat/txt evey day without fail, he has been to my house few times now but i’ve never been to his. i do know is the next time a man tells me he wants to be exclusive and is no longer active online, i need advice about how to proceed. it was identical to the match account he had (still has actually, but there’s been no activity for months). i was on my way home when he texted & told me where he was late on friday. jackie – as with the other situations, i can’t say exactly why he would keep his profile up. he said the only reason he was on it was to try to figure out why they took out of his account. it does make it harder him living in london and myself in suffolk as we don’t have what i would call a normal dating relationship which does make it harder..seriously the male mind works differently and yes i do believe some men, ya some, can be trusted and just go on the sites bc they get an email so they have to check because it makes them feel good about themselves that they still look good and woman want them, yet they take it no further…. i know he got my messages yesterday i messaged him on facebook and it tells you exactly when he read it which was this morning around 8. i am still not sure how to handle the situation. with a few men but didn’t have the desire to take it further than friendly chat……. you were honest with me even when i didn't like it. the only interaction i have had with match is when i open to delete the wink/emails sent to my personal yahoo account. should i have her make a date with him and me show up? he said no, and when i asked if he is talking to other women too, he also denied and said i don’t need to worry because we are good, we are having a great time and that he is being honest. then he tells me since he had been in relationships up until now, he’s just not ready for a full on relationship’ and that he likes checking when he’s bored. i checked, and he’s been online in the past 4 hours. you discover that the guy you’re with still has his profile live and that he’s been active within the last few days, then it might be time to consider whether you’re investing more in the relationship than he is. it’s not that he doesn’t want to keep spending time with you, it just means that he wants to keep his options open until someone he’s more into comes along. he gave me a key to his place also and told me to stop by whenever. he says he cares for me, likes being with me, and likes the way things are but i don’t think he’s committed to me. it’s actually really common to leave a dating profile live on a site or app even if you’re seeing someone or not actively online dating. i’ve planned to take her to do painting of an ocean area with an artist and then a picnic. over the course of the next month we continued seeing each other and had several attempts at “the talk”. but for some reason – i am resistive to be ‘all in’. yet i can’t name a single time in my own life when before things fell apart with somebody i really didn’t intuit anything, or that i hadn’t ignored any red flags. so i can see how the boys would struggle to manage that and think that continuing conversations online harmless… it is an enormous confidence booster, flattering to receive attention and the thrill of first dates really good fun. he has met my family and gets along great with them, i have met his mom and some of his friends. these actions tel me that he likes me and is trying to have a serious relationship with me. that h honestly doesn’t know if he can give, recieve or feel love again due to the divorce. it is being wise and mature to set clear concise boundaries to value and protect your emotional sexual health. seems he wants me on his terms but doesn’t want anyone else having me. i am not sure if i can handle knowing that he is with me and others. for the past 2, months we continued to text just as much, we talked on the phone a lot less due to our now conflicting schedules, and we saw each other once every 2 weeks give or take a few days. i feel something is wrong, i’ll just ask the guy point blank. he said he could ask me the same thing and that i had blown up his phone all day until it died. women do this too, it’s about finding the right person. i raised this with him, and he still swore blind that he hadn’t met up with anyone since meeting me and was responding that he wasn’t available for a relationship. this has been most acutely demonstrated over the last week by the data dump from the ashley madison platform, which revealed that the site had millions of straight male subscribers, but very few women signed up. this morning i texted him the usual good morning text, please be safe out there etc. when he says he’ll take it down when the time is “right”…well, if you’re dating someone and you keep telling her you’re not going to date anyone else then the right time is now! when i text him, he always replies right away and we text until i get tired. i told him i didn’t understand this plan since we had not talked yet. if he sent it that would be more concerning to me. could you tell me where you see our relationship going? admit the date was perfect but i had bit of committment issue to because i got hurt in the past and due to this i dumped him on the third date but we quickly patched things up. we still caught up on sunday evening and it was lovely. i really do appreciate the advice but it’s not going to work out. i assumed he got cold feet and freaked out about the ‘exclusivity’ talk we had. yet after telling me he loved me, i guess i just figured we were forming a more serious relationship. i thought he was nice and understanding, but i was completely wrong. i told him i was getting a bunch of emails and just didn’t feel like dealing with them. met him on pof in august 2013 and to be honest, i had just started dating again since my divorce 6 1/2 years earlier. this doesn’t make leaving his profile up is right…but it could mean that he is committed to you even though he is taking an action that suggests otherwise (so don’t lose all hope!. youre an idiot if you are ok with the person you love checking a dating website, please, dont be naive or passive. initially he asked me out first few times and then ive been doing it since. that person knows that his/her profile is visible and they know that the other person will be able to see if they go back to the site. i took my profile down and never asked him if he did or not. i mentioned before, i assumed we were exclusive when we had that talk and worked things out (in late nov 2013). i mean, when is the point where he would take his profile down? expected to hear from him more, but i heard less from him. i will add that he texted me at the end of our first date to say he had a great time and proceeded to text me everyday after that. after spending the last 5 months with him, i’m decided that i made the right choice. and he went on to say he thinks we may be meant to be together but struggles with being unsure. second, i believe the following guidelines can help when having your conversations:Be honest. jane – unfortunately, i’m not sure there’s much help to give here. i have been seeing this guy for two months and we’ve gotten fairly close. we lived together over a year later and then he one day just moved out. i am also checking my emails and so why get upset about..I add him on a new account and he gave me an email address i didnt even kno about. taking your profile down is the first step in saying i have found the person i’ve been looking for. the goal is to find a guy who will both say and show that he cares for you. anyway, last week his sister had been awful to me and i was home alone and upset. basically i met this guy on a marriage website and we got to know each other of the basic stuff. i am going to do what i want because he is surely doing what he wants. though he already told me he wasn’t interested in dating other people, and we had both disabled our profiles a week or two before. where he stands may not be where you hope, but he should still know where that is! we both want a faithful and loyal partner, and since his last girlfriend cheated on him constantly while he was deployed to iraq (3 times), he said he really doesn’t have time for games. would it really make you feel better if he waited until the next morning? and a few times i saw that he had cancelled plans with me, in order to be with her – of course he had lied about why he canceled with me. the 2nd time i had a little too many and it got a little too late and we ended up going back to his place and well you can guess what happened. also, ladies, exclusivity is a trap for women and a benefit to men. a few days after i posted, he and i went to lunch and had a serious talk about it. easier access to women and men verses the old fashioned way of courting and meeting. at this point, assuming you’re right, i’m not sure what other options you have. needless to say, he has trust & commitment issues and i am understanding and patient…. i’m not sure that the man you’re seeing is being kind enough back. he answered back telling me that he knew i’d been online too.’ i had so many answers to that question like if he liked me as much as he said would he still be looking at other girls, or how do i know he’s not talking to others? it honestly sounds like your time might be better spent looking for someone who would fight to spend time with you as opposed to fighting to spend time with others. she no longer used the other roommate entrance and decided it was a ok to walk in and chat with him even when i was there all the while shooting me filthy die woman looks. i know he’s someone i’m ready to commit to, to explore a relationship with. if he can’t bring himself to take his profile down no matter how much you talk about it, i think you need to consider keeping your options open as well.
What to Do When Your Boyfriend is Still Online Dating,
- Find Singles with 's Online Dating Personalsif you’ve read a lot of my advice you’ll know that i do see dating one person at a time as problematic. in your case it sounds like he’s keeping it online (for whatever reason) but he’s also lying to you about it. he just got out of a marriage filled with anger. we are 4 months into the relationship and he still says he’s scared of commitment. maybe once you know where he stands, it will make it easier for you to make a decision? shares so much about himself with meso why is he pushing me away like this. we have been itimate and he told me he hasn’t been with anyone since he broke off his engagement last summer. – this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship to me. he has written a free online dating guide to help others find success with online dating. if he still doesn’t make the right decision (taking his profile down), i think you may want to consider putting yours back up as well to see if you can find other people to date. he says he likes to read other people’s profile summaries for entertainment purposes while taking a crap on the toilet. so i checked online later monday and low and behold he created a new profile recently online and he was on that day.” so i told him i was going to start seeing other people…. so far, so good – until we were both looking at something on his laptop, and a dating website came up as one of his most visited sites. however, when we commit to getting into a relationship we should be willing to give some things up. if you feel horrible as you’re doing it, then just stop. he said that he doesn’t use it and doesn’t care about it and was planning on taking it down. when i was stepping out for a smoke he told me ‘if things gets serious, i’d like you to quit’ & i told him i’d do it for him. then he’ll later mention ho he misses me of how we needto hsngout more. it would be the same thing to me if i asked a woman to date me exclusively. he says if you can keep your options open, why can’t i’ and i’ve told him several times i don’t want to keep my options open. have been dating a guy for 5 weeks, been out 12 times w/a couple of overnights. i am not checking up on him anymore cos that upsets me. rather than sneaking around, trying to piece all the information together, you really should just come out and ask her exactly why she still has an active dating profile. he feels like he has a ‘clean slate’ now, and can see that he absolutely wants to be committed to me, he said quote “i’m all in! he kept his profile online and then during a period where he was busy he removed the profile. 5 days later – screen shots proved he had just been online and active. occasionally joke on how we get emails in our personal email accounts saying people are still trying to contact us and we should probably take them down because we feel bad that people are trying to contact us especially when you open an email in your personal account because it shows that you have read the email to the sender even if you haven’t logged on. men be forced to pay for children they didn’t want? every now and then, you come across the online dating profile of someone you know, but when that someone you know happens to be someone you’re supposed to be in a relationship with, you can’t help but start questioning the validity of that relationship. how do i let what would normally be a wonderful relationship (if it were not for his dating profile) progress, or how do i let it go? said he doesn’t talk to anyone else on the phone like hd can to me. dave – you might try sending her here to see that others have dealt with the problem. then in febuary, i was at home and i needed to use his computer to chek and email. the online dating profile is tellng me that he is still keeping his options open just incase. i feel that it is his way of letting me know that he is not doing anything behind my back and is totally honest. i keep chat with him, he just read it until i block him. however, i know has has a dating profile because a few weeks after we started dating my friend who uses the site told me she saw a profile for him. i i mean gee, is it really necessary to say that after you just told me you loved me? he lied when he told me he hadn’t been with anyone else in a while, which turned out to be about 7 days… and he told his fwb girl that he hadn’t been with me in a really long time – which actually was like 3 days. the only interaction i have had with match is when i open to delete the wink/emails sent to my personal yahoo account. he lives about 120 miles away and is busy finishing up his residency. the thing is he goes on his match account every day. said he is only seeing me and i shouldn’t worry…but…should i? and if the car situation didn’t exist, is it likely you’d find another reason to worry? we had an amazing day on tuesday from start to finish. that’s besides the point really but it’s still true. – have you tried talking with him about this more aggressively? the person you’re dating reveals that they still have an active online dating profile, we’ve outlined seven different scenarios that will likely come up. i finally pushed him and he admitted he and she had a sexual relationship a long time ago and that he had lied but he felt nothing for her then or now. last weekend we were supposed to go out but i got tied up and i told him and he was pretty bummed. he’s never given me a reason to not trust him, when we aren’t physically together he calls and tells me where he’s going and what he’s doing, we talk and text daily, and he’s told me that i make him happy. when she let’s me know, i can normally respond in a way that makes her happier! then he gets an email from an interested woman and he says, “oh wow, i need to update my profile”. i treat him so well, cook, clean, and care for his kids but yet i seem to have no standing with him. we are at the point when we say i love you every day and we are often talking about marriage. he’s removed his dating profiles, although i don’t like that i had to get very demanding about that. towards the beginning, we decided to go withthe flow and see where this relationship would go. so, i don’t do this type of checking and i’m happier for it. i’m no saint though i go on match too but i’m different and it bothers me he uses it that much. up until meeting up, we messaged once a week, usually i messaged but he also did if i didn’t. he didn’t reply to that one anymore because he obviously had gone offline already. i messaged a guy on a dating site and we texted for weeks before finally meeting up.” he goes, “aww 🙂 you like me so much to delete it. i checked to see where he was at on the date of that party, and he was with me the whole time – so he didn’t go. don’t center it around whether or not he’s talking to women online; focus on the reality of your in-real-life relationship, and where you’d like to see it go. are going along great, he talks about the future alot, i mean making plans and things like that but he still calls me his “friend”. this whole situation sounds to me like him trying to have his cake and eat it too. dating bloghis dating profile is still active – is he interested or not? then, he has been trying to sleep with my with no strings attached and even today he told me he misses me and wants me, but still sees people that he met on the site, but i am the only one he really likes… sure…. i have been told by a close friend (who is male) that i need to be chased and show him that i am not at his beck and call. in the morning things were as usual great – he asked for my advice about some property & financial matters & we talked about everything under the sun. on last friday he said in case i was out late to let him know. he’s the wrong guy for you if he makes you feel that way. after a couple of weeks i told him that i had deactivated my profile and he told me that he had cancelled his subscription. being on a dating site says to the world, “i am still available and looking. it might be that she simply hasn’t thought to delete her profile yet. i don’t write the others off by no means but just usually really like just 1. he had mentioned getting marrired and i told him he was crazy. have read that many complaints from match is the status option is flawed and can be triggered from simply receiving and deleting a email from match in your personal account. after a few days, i told him i’d done that and asked if he would. saw each other every weekend and we would stay the night at each others house…i trusted this guy, he made me feel loved by his actions. the issue now is figuring out how and in what capacity. me, if a month goes by after you’ve expressed your concerns and he is still refusing to remove his profile then setting ultimatums seems more reasonable. it’s one thing to say someone is the only one for you, it’s another thing to actually live that out. know other men who do this sort of thing, i am no stalker, just keeping my heart in check here. i met a guy on plenty of fish in june. while s…"sylvana on why men aren’t speaking up about the #metoo movement"good for you…"sylvana on why men aren’t speaking up about the #metoo movement"to me, it is not the fact that you made her uncomfortable that should be criminalized. he says he really likes me and is into me and still getting to know me.’ve heard your feedback: you asked for more control over your chats with the ability…. he said his data on his phone wouldn’t work (i think he meant he didn’t want to risk paying for the roaming), but he would text me whenever he would get a chance. slept together after about 5 dates and it just felt right but neither of us mentioned about being exclusive, i think we both took it we were only seeing and sleeping with each other, at this point he was still active on site but my time on there was becoming less. i told him i talked to another man on the phone. we haven’t gone on a real date yet because he lives in a different country than mine. he said he wasn’t doing any of that on purpose and i was wrong to think he was intentionally doing those. anyway, i wasn’t worried about the profile as we were only a few weeks into dating so i had just forgotten about it. he seems to be just perfect, everything i was ever looking for. i have no idea how he’ll respond and whether he wants to keep seeing other people, as he had stated his doubts about our relationship before when we broke up. he knows that i will soon be going to live where he lives soon because that is my plan (even before i met him) – which is four months from now. agree with the advice here – especially the timing – and acknowledge that girls tend to overeact in these matters of the heart so maybe we could all do with a bit of advice to slow down a bit. if i am dating i do see the person i am talking and emailing with online, but i leave them alone. i don’t think that means that you should have concerns that you’re being cheated on, but i do think you should have concerns around “why does he feel that he still needs to be checking his dating profile? i am really confused cos y’day he was online 3 times i haven’t even gone into my account. he even used it last night, and i just dont know what to do about it. if being online and chatting to other girls was face to face lets say and you met a man in this way. i still believe what i wrote there, i’m finding that many of the women who are contacting me are not at the point where they are sure if the man is their “boyfriend” or not. if you couldn’t be, walking away could very well be the best option. until now, nothing about him has bothered me at all, and i would hate for this to ruin what could be a great thing. we had the exclusive talk, and we both agreed to not see anyone else – but we aren’t exactly “official” yet because of the uncertainty of his job (he’s at risk of being sent overseas for a minimum of 2 years). i asked my friends boyfriends/husbands (some of whom met my friends online and some who are or have dated online in the past) they all confirmed clearly that if the guy dosn’t remove his profile voluntarily following the moment when it is obvious you are both moving towards proper committment (and not even ‘by the time’ you have committed to exclusivity verbally) then it is clear he is not entirely certain about you or he is not entirely ready to committ to a relationship. that being said, i’d still be cautious – it takes 5 minutes to take your profile down so his excuse doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. am i just a typical once-burned-twice-shy woman who needs therapy for trust issues lol? i did let him know that i would have cell coverage in mexico, and if he’d like to say hello he could. we actually met up about a month ago and got along great and have a lot of fun together., in your response to cat, not all guys are like this. may not like the answer you get, but i think being 100% clear on what you’re hoping for in the relationship (especially since you’ve dated for 5 weeks) will be better than trying to be sneaky. so he can see if he knows someone…and then what? i can’t say which one it is but i do think if he’s keeping his options open you’ll really want to do the same thing (and not just saying you are to convince him to stop). he texted me later & said the following: are you ok? so i plucked up courage and sent txt, saying i had a good day etc but im upset and i needed to talk to him, his instant reply was are u ok, whats wrong. in the meantime brad he treats me very well and has introduced me to his parents and all his friends. when searching for profiles, my profile said i had been active within 5 days. i realize every situation i’ve read is similar but i also know the answers will differ i appreciate any insight you can offer.” that sounds like “negging” to me–kind of waving it in her face, like he wanted her to feel insecure. i was quick to let you know how much i loved my wife but every time i told you this i also punched her in the face. question: do the same mechanics apply vice versa (woman continues to browse the onlinedating site)? his title on the site is “just looking” but his goal is to “fall in love”…. i never checked, because it didn’t matter to me. i work so we are together when i get home in the afternoons. i think doing this can be beneficial because a) you might find a great guy who does want to commit or b) he might realize how much it sucks to have the person you’re dating to be open to dating other people. do think that approaching this with caution is a good idea…you don’t want to come off as if you’re obsessing. i thought everything was great his parents know all about me i’ve met his friends and some family. i am in the same boat and i wil be having a discussion with my so called guy about this asap. i then handed him the piece of paper and headed for the door. he kept me in the loop of events for the following days until he finally left for turkey, and we spoke before he actually got on the plane. 20 of them are women who have been groped by lizard, but none of them "want to make a sce…"karl r on why men aren’t speaking up about the #metoo movement"this. about three months into dating, i knew i was starting to fall in love with him and i was bothered that his profile was still active, he would be on at least every other day. did end a relationship once because he told me he was not on the site but it just so happened i was looking right at his profile. however, if we use your examples of the real world versus online dating (and really a case that you appear to make that they should operate more similarly): if it were the real world instead of online dating wouldn’t you have been more firm that he shouldn’t be talking to another woman/making himself available to other women? they also indicated that to open an email or wink from the service from the associated account would show them as online. in other words there isn’t a mutual understanding yet of how exclusive the relationship is. he is introducing me to his dad (who lives out of state but is coming to visit) next week, so thats kind of a big deal but yet he is still doing this…help please! but if there’s an ultimatum, i think it’s only fair that he know about it! all i know is that i have more satisfying relationships than nervous nelly playing private eye. he had planned romantic trips for the two of us, we were together practically every day, we went on family camping trips, i met his parents several times, he was talking about future stuff with each other. i’ve been dating a guy now i met online for almost four months now. i would really like him to come to the realization that he needs to delete it himself! i made it clear that i was not looking to settle down, but did want to continue dating him to see where it could lead, but could only do it if neither of us were going to continue to see other people. met a guy online we hit it off really great. have offered her to check my username/password to see that i do not have a subscription, told her to send me winks/emails to test it, want her to check her email message and see if her status changes, offered to call match to show my log on status, and now seeking advice. he needs to keep that “i love you” stuff to himself or his latest online honey. what he did is not right and you did not deserve to be hurt like that. he said, “oh i was just responded to email and told them i was in a relationship. How do you tell if he is interested in dating you exclusively? he might just be hiding that he’s not ready to commit. he even told me that the first time he saw me he knew he’d marry me one day. actually, he kind of chased me online for a week before i gave in and talked to him.’m curious though, maree: when you forced a “swift ending one way or another” with these guys (prior to the last) did you ever first force the “let’s be exclusive” talk or did you just end things? we started off as being friends with each other and now started dating but he never mentioned about being exclusively but when i check the dating site each day he seems to be on it very often as i am very confused as to why when he informed me that he is my boyfriend and still looking for someone else. he says he doesn’t want to rush things and does not just want to date anyone, he is dating to find someone to marry and wants to be sure. if fact, i expect them to be dating other people even if we’re serious (ie having sex) until we have a specific conversation about being exclusive. do text and talk on the phone quite often but i had came to realise that its already been 3 months and his profile is still active and he goes on it quite often.
What To Do If the Person You're Dating Still Has an Active Onlineonline dating was an avenue i hadn’t tried and i was curious! the guy though took it to mean i thought we were exclusive, when we both made it clear at the onset it would be casual dating, and he disappeared. and then he texted me out of the blue and said he was drinking not too far from where i live and was wondering if we could meet up to which i said no way cause i had plans and he was bummed about my answer. then he will always know that i found out and, the guilt he may feel could jeopardise our relationship. in your case, he asked you to be his girlfriend…he needs to cut out the unnecessary continuation of online dating now. katz makes a great point in one of his blog posts about this very dating dilemma online. he called me his girlfriend and said that he doesn’t see anyone else. i told him am busy & he sent me a text that was obviously for someone else. sometimes i feel that maybe we rushed into things a little too quick…. we love each other’s company and spend most of not all of our free time together. any other girl came to me with the same dilemma, i’d tell her the exact same thing dating expert evan marc katz would say.… i guess the question we all want to know is: what is in a man’s head that makes him think / or not even think at all i guess from your comments? anyways, we still met up and spoke very very regularly over the next 6 months. out of the blue, i got a curiosity about the profile situation.. which is solely his decision… however i have the right to vocalize my thoughts which is what i did… i would never tell him to close his account and also to those of you that are upset that you man has his account out there… how do you know unless yours is out there or you are still online? one thing you shouldn’t do is verbally attack the guy or start throwing out ultimatums. i don’t know of anybody who would let someone follow their every move, so it must be heading towards something serious… what do you think? (this is because my 20 yr old is here still and this way we can have alone time. we definitely argued a bit and i told him to go on a date, if he liked the girl, we were done (obviously). can a sexy woman like me show men online i’m not up for a one night stand?. which has been cancelled but not hear anything about a visit. i realised it was early days and though it hurt i let it go. a few days afterwards i got a text telling me that he got crazy news and that he couldn’t tell me now but would call me after work. is it something i’d want to make as a general statement for men (or women) in general? my situation he is now an ex for a reason. we have gone on trips, and had wonderful dates, he told me i’m just the girl he’s dating. i really do love him and want to be with him, everything would be great if i could just figure out how to get him off those sites. let’s just say that hypothetically speaking another attractive women sent him a message to his profile. was feeling unsure (trust issues from being cheated on 2 out of 3 boyfriends) and so i created a “fake” profile (something i am not very proud of).. and then back to the sex thing he thinks he was going to get some from me but i told him not till “the break is over and the sites are deleted” (this is all texting btw) and he goes “you’re demanding stuff because you said were not going to have sex till i delete match”…ummm duh… i said yes and i have a good point to, that don’t you think?.some sites are very difficult to get off of even if you call the company’s help line (been there done that it doesn’t work either) so we are both still on there still. he left he kissed me on my forehead & cheeks before the lips. accidentally discovered that my bf had recently logged into his online dating profile.’s tricky to suggest an amount of time set in stone for when you should expect things to move forward as every relationship is different. his excuse was he did not have a computer, only his phone to access, and there is no way to deactivate from a mobile device. what if i’m just crazy and paranoid and he did nothing wrong? his facebook page and his relationship status says involved with another girl. being exclusive means resisting temptation and focusing on the lady you are bedding and claim to be crazy about. i want to be with you if you want a relationship with me, i don’t want to be with you if you’re only deleting it to have sex with me and he goes “of course not” and i said the whole match thing adds a lot of confusion to me., as with other situations discussed here, i think it’s totally reasonable to expect real commitment at a certain point and it sounds like you’ve reached that based on what you describe. he never checked to see i made it there or home safely, and hasn’t really been in contact the way he was before i left. i suppose that is were trust comes into place, and mine is a bit shaken. i know at one point after we first met, he told me he wasn’t just sleeping around with anyone and everyone. but what if he doesn’t… i cannot go on for years knowing the profile is there. he is now back on the dating website daily again. i don’t wanna pressure him, as i want him to make the choice on his own, but it’s still so annoying that he lied, twice actually. a healthy normal relationship should consists of time together and time apart. the idea that the other women would just pale in comparison sounds like a good deal to me! he told me that he would like us to be in a relationship, but because we were approaching his busiest time of the year at work, that he would like to wait until things calmed down a bit…he said 2 of his serious relationships ended over it in the past. i asked if there was anything missing from our relationship as that would be the only reason why i would go on a site. approach it from the stance that you want to understand where he’s coming from (but also that you think you should be taking the profiles down). so we met and he told me he was glad i had pushed him out. i removed my profile at the end of the first week or so explaining to him that it was my personal preference/instinct and that it placed no pressure or expectation on him. after everything this guy has done for me…i just don’t get it…commitment issues? he seemed to show a lot of remorse, and made the comment that ‘he was a dirt bag’. – i guess i don’t understand what the difference is between being exclusive and being boyfriend/girlfriend. there where little things that happened when we first started dating that i didn’t concern myself with too much at the time, but now i felt like i had to get resolution about those things if i was really going to make a big commitment like this with him. also, he is seeking a long term relationship and he loves love as i do (from what he’s told me). i have also noticed that on his computer he is getting on another site and looking at personals, mostly from other states. how do you know he didn’t create a new fake profile on a different site or even on the same site? so it’s been three weeks now since we agreed to be exclusive but he still have his profile up and checking it. there’s the possibility of a move for him in the future after his military career ends, and he has asked me to go with him if that possibility becomes a reality – i accepted. i had romantic dreams and the reality of the dating scene was a wake-up call… a man with answers about men! and just seeing that someone has been active isn’t necessarily useful information- they could’ve been active for a variety of reasons. later in the week he asks if i had any cancellations and i told him i hadn’t. a married man let me tell you even after years and years with a woman i love, i still rarely know what’s going on in her head. he said that he finds me very pretty and hot..what am i going to be with you, sleep with you, & be wondering whats going on; on the side with the dating site…. be open minded, and if you’re confused or unsure, just ask the other person. we agreed that we’d tell each other as soon as we slept with anyone else for health reasons. i hope we can talk tonight but im so confused about where i stand and don’t know what to say to him. have for the most part what i tell my friends an “effortless relationship”. i recently confronted him about a woman on his facebook that was posting pics of him and about how much she loves him. his last message though was that he was going to message me the next day. i even gave him an out, asking if he was on the site just looking, to feel like there were options if things didn’t work out with us. i didn’t respond – later he texts me ‘i’ll come over’…and then again ‘i’ll come over’. monday i texted him and we texted the whole day. he says he loves me, yet aout three weeks ago i asked him where he thought our relationship was headed. yes first time i get an invitation to his place. if you pay attention from the beginning, not just to typical ‘relationship’ things but to how the person lives their life and their character in different situations, few things will take you by surprise. comment, “i wish my brain would just stop” reminds me of advice my dad gave me when i was growing up: often the best way to get over someone is to find a new someone. – i think it’s likely that he’ll find another excuse, but you can explain to him how to hide his profile: log into match then click profile then settings and then set the profile to hidden. similar story met a guy online 2 months ago we meet once a week on the. if he came across the profile of the woman you’re dating and asks you about it, it could get a little weird. that’s like saying, “the 0 i spent on my subscription is more important than what i have with you”. am surprised to hear so many experiences similar to mine. or maybe he’s doing this to get my fake profile girl. also, speaking as someone who doesn’t like talking on the phone all that much, i think avoiding phone calls in itself probably isn’t a red flag if he actively communicates with you in other ways. you might see them as something to use to genuinely try to find a life partner, whereas she might seem them as a place for a little bit of innocent flirting and a self-esteem boost when she’s bored or feeling low. i really hope this doesn’t happen again, that it was just a fumble. “if then it dosn’t work out boys – by all means go back online, chat and date all the people in the world that you desire! during the date, he continued to say the same things that he’s been saying to me and he couldn’t keep his hands off me. if you want to take a stand and draw the line at 6 weeks, i’m okay with that."he was gentle, tough, hugely insightful and extremely accurate at decoding a man's words, his actions, his lack of action, his likely intentions.’s a long article just discuss having a guy take his profile down! she clearly let me know how much that hurt her. i took mine down right away and i just figured he always had his up., if you really want the person you’re with to delete his dating profile and he refuses, then it’s time to reconsidering whether he’s the type of person you want to have a real relationship with..he said no, just that he is struggling at the moment. i still think its about respect… and not so much about committment. we started seeing each other initially as friends – we have a lot of shared interests – and then one day he jumped on me and the relationship became increasingly physical."i was able to learn from others’ experiences without having to go through all of it myself.. when i think back i am surprised to find that each and every time it was i who decided when he should have an opinion about me, i decided when he should take down his profile and actually i decided everything about timing etc based on my instinct and my feelings. that online dating is a normal way to meet people, new issues have come up that are totally different from the things daters use to worry about. the monday after a long beautiful weekend, bam, he is online. but after three years of giving my heart to him i feel that i deserve more than that, i feel that he is being disrespectful and dishonest if he is spending all this time with me and saying he loves me, we are even doing 5 love languages together to help our relationship. guess i’m concerned because it seems like he logs onto match when we’re both at work. she later said she would do the same and we took off the auto-renewal but we both never bothered to hide our profiles. i never saw another email, there were no text from random girls, or phone calls that seemed weird. maybe wait a week or so and see if the profile comes down on its own. or if for whatever reason you are unable to exclude your profile from the site, note somewhere that you are currently not looking at the moment. well he blew up and i blew him off for three days till he finally manipulated me back into seeing him through constant texting. me, this guy is saying he loves you but he is not showing it. he deleted the profile and said i was right (like i didn’t know that). she is now mad at me because she thinks i want to date other people and i am just like the other guys that hurt her. i asked him on sunday and he said he was in there cleaning up his inbox before deleting. we act like a couple when we are in public and he loves pda. but cindi did the same thing and gained a whole lot of knowledge and perception. we met later that evening and had a good conversation where i told him to ask the next time. if you guys are planning vacations and are seeing each other soo frequently, he should have more respect for you and not have any active accounts. i did my usual hey there sexy, he said lol…i asked him how his work thing was going, no response. so if he doesn’t take it down within the next week, and i approach him about it again, wouldn’t it come off as pushing? the first time i asked he claimed to answer an email without logging in to a woman who asked him a business related question. i understand his availability issues because of his work as a nurse, but i’m feeling this sadness and doubt inside me because it has already been almost a week since he last sent me a message. a year ago, about 2 months after i started dating someone i met online, i took my profile off. coffee meets bagel (cmb): cmb is a dating app designed with women in mind.?Any suggestions on how to deal with this now am i just wasting my time and just move on? he has a difficult time discussing a lot of emotional things. i’m really freaked out about commitment – i love this guy and have a relationship with him like no other, he accepts everything about me, he adores me, is kind, gentle and makes it his daily goal to do things that make me happy. don’t start making a demands on the 30th day just because i suggest a month as a good measurement. at the same time i don’t want to be a mug. and how on earth do you even start that kind of convo without sending guy running for the hills? if they ask me “why i took my profile down” i usually just say “my subscription was about to run out and i didn’t want to be charged again right now”. if you’re two months in and his profile is still up, it’s time to get your profile back up as well. i told him ill give him space but at the same time i wont wait for him. i’m not saying this is what is happening but i would argue he seems to deserve a little more benefit of the doubt than some of the other guys discussed here. he was still really, really insistent that he wasn’t looking for anyone else, and would look again at cancelling the sites. they could have visited the site to spy on you to see if you were still using the site! if u can’t trust the person your with then why be with them? i have only been dating him 3 weeks, but i don’t want to be with a guy who just wants to string me along so i will wait maximum 6 weeks for him to mention something. have had a 5-6 really great dates, chemistry off the charts, met his daughter, spent a weekend with him.’d try not to worry too much at this point. this point i don’t want to even mention to him that i’m aware he’s quite active, especially on match which my sister says allows for various forms of communication with people unlike the site i’d met him on, where his original profile remains active.! this happened to me after being in an exclusive relationship for 14 months. he doesn’t have a problem with it and i obviously don’t either. i like to stay chill, but it’s hard when the person i deeply like and have put a lot of time into isn’t willing to sacrifice his current dating life while i am. at that stage i was ready to end the relationship and leave him to it. this article has been very helpful but i want something a little bit more specific. so, again, not defending him but i prefer his response over a lot of other responses i’ve seen., you’ll probably want to check out my previous advice on this topic. i do think the exclusive conversation could be very tough before you meet, but if you find you keep worrying about it and you think you’re at a place where he’d be open to it, i’d bring that conversation up. that said, i do agree that in many cases respect is also playing a large role. went to a spa, it was beautiful and we ended up staying the night together……. he visited me one weekend (stayed in a hotel), i visited him the following weekend (stayed with him), two weekends pass and he came to visit me again this past weekend. if i try to ride it out, what is a good amount of time to see if he takes it down? same lie as before he didn’t know how to delete.) there’s more to the story, but essentially i think he just wanted to make sure he had another fish on the line before he cut me loose. he told me that i really hurt him and that it will take some time to repair the hurt. this last weekend he finally got the courage to inform his mother that he had proposed (6 months ago! i was heart broken when i saw it, and i text him right away confronting him about it…. Right is our advice column that tackles the tricky world of online dating. said ok, that i would hang in there, but i asked him to please be straight up with me the second he doesn’t feel like this will go anywhere and he promised he would.
Ask a Guy: We're Dating, But He Still Checksi’ve don’t a ton of research on this and cannot find any explanation of how a dating profile can show recent activity if the user has not been on for supposedly over a year. recently, another woman is doing the same thing on his facebook and it makes me wonder if he’s doing the same thing to me yet again. – if you have to be ln guard with your man, then he shouldn’t be your man. have to add that he struck me to be honest and good from the very beginning, and he never gave me reason to not trust him. in the browser history i was looking to see if he had been viewing porn websites when i noticed a dating website there. if she does respond, you’ll feel hurt and things could get awkward."i knew i needed to in order to attract the love of my life. so i went into my whatsapp (that’s how we communicate) and checked when my messages to him were actually read (i normally don’t pay attention to this), and it came out that he seemed to have been online at times when he told me that he didn’t have wifi on his phone. in some cases, this could cause what he saw as a healthy, budding relationship to end abruptly..if he were hiding something he’d guard it with his life…. here we are, i have doubts and feel uneasy about the whole thing. it’s hard to judge why his profile is up otherwise – it might be because he’s still looking to date others or it might just be that he’s forgotten about it. i tried to start a conversation but he said sorry but i’m going out soon. yesterday morning i checked again and it said ‘online now’ to say i felt sick was an understatement but i didn’t want to go wading in and accuse him when i didn’t know the story. type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer. i’ve met his family and friends, he takes me out everywhere and even wants to book time off with me. and never be ashamed to check if that person has lied to you. i don’t want any distractions as i am getting to know him. and then he asked me to accompany him to his brother’s girlfriend’s b’day. after a few hours, i tried to message him and he ignoring me and didn’t reply it at all.? i felt suspicious but right away he said he wanted to do friday or sunday. i was assured everything was fine, they were just busy with work, etc. being crazy about her may not be enough if you have to check your match winks and mails. are many top-ranked colleges in the united kingdom, but how do they stack up…. met this guy online and we exchanged numbers and texted each other 2x a week for a month. he told me he would try to meet me somewhere if he could get some stuff done for work and some family things, he told me to txt him in an hour or so and see where he was at with being finished. abruptly changed his mind because he suddenly “didn’t feel it” with me, i had a sneaking suspicion something. i know some people may think they are being paranoid, but if you have ever been screwed over by a boyfriend (or girlfriend) in the past, i think your brain recognizes differences in your partners behavior, even subtle changes (maybe that sounds strange but its always been right for me). oh, and he officially asked me to be his girlfriend in february. then instead of apologizing he yelled at me for knowing. i feel like i am so scared of putting my heart out there and getting lead on. this is how your valentine’s day is going rhia. i check his page (because it’s viewable to the public) and he’s made several modifications today., i find really annoying is when he informs me that he is not cheating on me but why is he still on the dating site. he didn’t like it at all and only thought of me. you had the conversation about killing both profiles there is no excuse to open the emails or winks even now that you know the tidbit about the cookie auto log in i just told you about. and i hope it goes without saying that when you enter a relationship where you both are only interested in each other, at that point the multiple dating would stop! but also texts me and tells me how much he misses me and how much he dreams about me, blah, blah, blah. i don’g want to pushtowards anything, because i feel as thoughhe will if he wants to…but am i wasting my heart on someone whois using me as plan b or using me as a passing fancy? last week, while just hugging and feeling so happy being there, my heart was racing with emotion that it actually startled. the time august 2014 (now one year of dating), he was spending every night at my house, we practically lived together, even though he still had his own home. after 2 months he asked me to be his girlfriend – actually an old college friend of his we met on the street asked if i was his gf and then a few mins later i told him that i did not want to continue to see him unofficially so he asked me to be his girlfriend and said he’d tried to ask many times but was too shy. there was one night about 3 weeks ago now where i did flip out on him (somewhat) about not responding to my texts at all (heard nothing from him, two different days. then even though my fake profile kept telling him i wasn’t interested he kept asking telling me i (real me) was ok with this since he’d been ‘honest’ with me. but revenge wasn’t sweet as he then sent me an email about his lack of self confidence and his poor self image and how it gave him such an ego boost as his mother never loved him blah, blah, blah, blah. if a woman continued intereacting with men she was meeting online, the man she’d been planning a future with wouldn’t dismiss it as innocent. i want to trust him, and i have… but i found out that he still visits his datig profile regularly. i’m afraid if i put my profile back up that it will make the situation worse, plus i really don’t want to. i still haven’t come across a problem like mine. we ended up sleeping together and he spent the night at my place. we spend a good deal of our free time together, he’s met my friends and family (he has no one here, but his family knows about me), and we have an amazing time whenever we are together. so, while perhaps this seems immature, i got gussied up big time and decided to go out that night, knowing we were supposed to go out together later on. obviously what you describe doesn’t sound good (in the sense that it seems like he’s telling you one thing and then says something online that is different to your “sister”). i know you may not want to for fear of what the answer will be but in the long run it’s better to know sooner rather than later in my mind. i gave him about a one-minute explanation over the phone, broke it off, and have not looked back. sad but oh so true, so watch out on what sites you use and their membership requirements as to when you are able to remove profiles. you say to find someone who makes things easy for me — but relationships are not easy, and if they are, they aren’t real. – it sounds to me like you were exclusive at some point (at least in his mind) and then later, without you knowing exactly why, you stopped being exclusive (again, at least in his mind). i know that when you are dating you should do this but i just can’t and he said he was the same. he actually emailed my fake profile on friday & then on sunday. i have also made myself avaible for this same night. i brought up the online thing & he said he was emailing 2 girls – ‘nothing interesting’. his parents are apparently reaaaaaaaally keen on this idea and so are hers. i asked him if things were still good because i really wanted things to work out between us. half of the time i am the one to initiate the conversations even though he responds and we talk but he doesn’t really ask my a lot and also he doesn’t write much. we played around in the snow like little kids, cuddled, watched a movie at the theater, and got shakes. spent most of the night talking to be honest with you. he said he was trying to hide his but couldnt do it on his phone but when he gets a laptop he will do it, i said ill hide mine too. the fact that you had to fight about it for weeks is a really bad sign too. met a guy on a dating website about 3 weeks ago, and ever since then (tons of long emails back and forth), we’ve been really attached. it’s difficult because i have a daughter from a previous relationship and he wasn’t too sure about that, but was attracted to me. i think that’s a great book but it will only help if you take what you learn about each other and apply it. he says he is, yet i’m not so sure at this point. is true that lots of people set up online dating profiles without ever taking action or using them to meet someone. you both have a profile on match and have been intimate on more than one occasion, one or both of you should step up to the plate and discuss the options. it’s what they didn’t say that is the tip off. so i createc a fake email account and responded to his cl personal ad. as i’ve said previously, if you can do this without anger or making him feel threatened, i think it will go better. i have active accounts on the on line sites as well but its been months since ive even thought to look at them. i have checked a few times by searching users on pof and each time i see his profile it says he has been on that day. he had told me earlier that he wanted to get off the dating site. is very kind of you to look for the best in this situation. i had touched on a similar topic last year in my post my boyfriend has kept his online dating profile active. we have been calling/texting each other about everyday since we met online. i guess my thought is that some more time together could help convince you both that it’s a good match (or not) and then all the wondering wouldn’t be required. he asked me to be his girlfriend shortly after we got the apartment. "but", i insisted, "when you did find out, why did…"nissa on why men aren’t speaking up about the #metoo movement. lied when he said he added pictures to his profile just to see if i would notice and to see if i was still online. you can’t guarantee loyalty by checking behind someone’s back. in many of the other cases, the guys don’t clearly commit or label the relationship. have read your story and the fact that he is a picses has nothing to do with it. we saw each other at least once on the weekend and would text, email, im and phone throughout the week. he told me he’s ready to settle down but just got out of a near eengagement so needs time to process the break up. but then he did a complete 360 less than 24 hours later. i started by telling him i wasn’t ready to move in together and needed more time. he said he respected that about me, and that he had not seen or been with anyone else in a while. once i texted him he was quick with his response and asked me to come over to his suburb. i have to add that i am 41 and he is 36, but he said he doesn’t care and neither do i. occasionally joke on how we get emails in our personal email accounts saying people are still trying to contact us and we should probably take them down because we feel bad that people are trying to contact us especially when you open an email in your personal account because it shows that you have read the email to the sender even if you haven’t logged on. surprisingly, i wasn’t that hurt, so i took it as a sign the relationship wasn’t meant to be anyway. but he’s open to me talking to him about it when i feel the need to. i suppose if she’s just dating you casually, it may be less stressful to think that you might be cheating on her. have been seeing a man i met online for almost a year now. its been like 2months together and he is really great guy if i have to be honest and i do have my moments too in annoying him too. the end, i chose to believe him, forgive him, and continue our relationship. he tells me for the first time that he loves me, i say it back to him for the first time as well, because i know it’s true, but i was never going to say it first. if you think this is annoying i definitely understand but i would still encourage tact when you try to resolve this issue. and that’s most often how the “real” world works: the days of grade school where we are forced to ask someone to “go steady” are behind us. after the first week he was asking me to be his girl. i don’t know if he’s been online or not but should i be worried? if i trust her the way i should then i need not to worry. i confronted him with it, he did not just blow me off….’m still very interested to hear your thoughts and advice. no one wants to feel like they are being bullied into a relationship. he said his profile was up but that he hadn’t been checking it and he hadn’t found time to take it down. 2: your friend finds the profile of woman you’re seeing. have read that many complaints from match is the status option is flawed and can be triggered from simply receiving and deleting a email from match in your personal account. the site was deleted and i never heard anything else about it. many men are seeking wives, not playmates and they’re up front about it because they sincerely don’t want to waste time with women who aren’t interested in long term commitments. sent the email not as an ultimatum but just as an fyi… and i am sure he will stay on line until he decides what he is looking for and if in fact it is in me. and that he stays online because he is afraid of closing all doors and just be with me, the first woman. have a point that cindi would not have known she needed to talk to her bf. first off, try to figure out when was the last time she actually used the app. we worked things out and he promised me he would delete it asap. if he’s never going to commit, wouldn’t you rather know now as opposed to 6 months from now? i still think that’s a fine thing to do but more recently i’ve found myself encouraging women to be a bit more pro-active or aggressive (whereas changing your photo is rather passive-aggressive). was dating a girl pretty regularly, seems like it was a fwb situation, but they both clearly felt more for each other and wanted more, but couldn’t seem to make the situation work for their lives at that point yet. and just to make it clear, my sister isn’t creating suspicion with me, i’d noticed how all along, he’d be texting me and suddenly stop with no goodnight, see ya, nothing, just stopped in mid conversation. he evenetually wanted to come visit me within a couple of weeks of chatting. i’m sure this will make him angry but it will be pretty hard for him to deny (and i get the feeling that you’re going to have to accept him getting angry if you want to pursue solving this problem, regardless of how you approach it). everything is great so far, we go out for dinner, watched movies, sometimes just stay in his apartment and ordered pizza and cuddle on the couch and watched a movie. i would be as kind as possible if you decide to have this talk with her: you’re not trying to punish/reprimand her, just letting her know where you stand. i don’t think the real issue is how or when to confront a guy on his internet activity, cause you may not always even have that option, it’s about acting on how you feel, even in the absence of ‘proof’..Firefly…i feel like i just read my diary…the only change is that im not online dating & never have, my man(ex? it’s been a wonderful week and i decide to see if he’s up to anything else and low and behold i find him a jdate, jwed, passion, hotmatch, and zoosk. i didn’t ask him if he was going to delete his, i assumed that of course he would..but between the texts and the online dating profile still being live i am not sure what to do. we’ve even been to a festival and just went away for the weekend together.? anyway we end the goodbye on some jokes and pull funny faces at each other as i drive off. had not been looking at emails that came from his dating site, let along responding to them. anyway, i couldn’t shake this feeling, so i did something i somewhat regret. he has continually helped me out, he surprises me with gifts along the way. will try to keep this to the point and as brief as possible which may prove to be difficult since i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. i was thrilled 🙂 but then, he was charged with another 6 month subscription – despite the fact that he had cancelled. he is in the army and when we first met he only had a couple days before he went to do a month worth of training. guys are just passive, so it’s hard to know if there’s any issue here. we have fun when we’re together but i just don’t know if i should trust him. most of the time, you ignore them because you’ve been seeing this new romantic interest pretty regularly. he calls me every good name in the book, such as “baby”, “my girl”, and the works. 3 months in is when i saw he was still logging in……it upset me….) last night i went on (my profile is hidden) and his profile is active for everyone to see. i can see why some people might not like their friends reporting on this sort of thing regularly…but if you’re close, she would probably appreciate it. in fact, he has since told me that he is actually glad i went through his phone and handled it the way i did with him (holding him accountable to it, ready to dump his butt, but didn’t attack him like the tasmanian devil). he starting to show signs that he is interested in me and i am meeting his friends already and its been 2 weeks of dating. he acts very much like a boyfriend but wait a minute he refuses to acknowledge the gf/ bf thing. i began dating, i realized what fun i was having with it, even if a date wasn’t great, i just loved getting out there and meeting new people and discovering things about myself and relationships that i hadn’t before. thing is in the begining he was referring to our future hopefully it would lead toi marriage and refferred me as his wife, love etc. i expected to see the original profile from when we first meet but this one was different and his profile picture was a picture of him and his daughter that we took after we moved in and decided to take family portraits to hang around the house. if he’s not going to commit, this is a risk for you and i’d see talking to other men as a valid approach since you can’t know what he’s going to do down the line. its long distance so we met for the first 2 weeks after talking and the date went perfectly, she even bought me dinner! i get that i hurt him, and we obviously had some sort of miscommunication about what i ment by needing some time to think. i expressed the same feelings and we planned to move in together two weeks from now.
Is the Person You're Seeing Still Actively Online Dating?